While Paris Hilton and her mother seem to be gushing over her new found ‘best friend’ Benji Madden, he’s been fairly quiet about the whole affair. Until now. It seems that this whole relationship isn’t just in Paris’ head, but that Benji is equally smitten with her. Or so she says.

The couple, who have been dating for little more than 2 months, has recorded the song ‘Shine Your Light’, which Paris claims was written about her.

In an interview with US site People.com, Paris said: “He actually wrote me a beautiful song, and actually recorded it in the studio. He surprised me with it… it’s this really beautiful love song about me. It was the sweetest thing that anyone has ever done for me!”

Take40

You know, there’s nothing my husband hates more than when I blab about him to my friends, even if it’s highly complimentary. (As it always is, darling) Paris has previously talked about how much she is in love with her ‘best friend’, spilled to People the details of their two month anniversary celebration, told him she loved him on her myspace page, and her mother and father have also talked about how they love Benji, and how much Benji and Paris love each other.

There’s also speculation about the possibility of Paris and Benji getting married, after Joel jokingly referred to Paris as his sister-in-law, accompanied by equal amounts of speculation as to when they’ll get divorced.

How long before Benji gets tired of all this? After all, I suspect that dating Paris Hilton does nothing for his rock star credibility. He had it right in his last relationship with Sophie Monk. Rock stars should date supermodels.

Paris Hilton and Benji Madden are shown outside the DCMA boutique on Melrose Avenue yesterday, thanks to WENN.

Paris Hilton has pissed off a lot of people with her habitual purchasing and (subsequent disregarding) of animals as though they’re pieces of jewelry. She has a kinkajou, 2 ferrets, a goat, something she calls a “big ass cat,” a chinchilla, and more dogs and cats than even she can keep count of. But apparently that’s not enough for the famous heirhead, because now she wants to buy a cheetah. Yes you heard me right, and no, that’s not some vaguely –veiled Britney Spears/Chester Cheeto joke. Paris supposedly did show some serious cheetah interest recently.

Paris Hilton kept the locals amused during her recent visit to South Africa, where she accompanied her Good Charlotte boyfriend, Benji Madden. The couple stayed at the ultra-luxe Mount Nelson Hotel in Cape Town, along with the Kaiser Chiefs and Korn, who were also in town for the My Coke Fest music event. (Apparently, calling a rock festival My Coke Fest isn’t ironic in South Africa.)

A hotel spy tells us: “Every time Paris saw something she liked, like a woman’s dress, she would ask how much it was. That included a cheetah she saw at an animal park. She asked how much it was and said, ‘If I bought a cheetah, would it run away from me or could I keep it?’” Perhaps Paris could take one home and feed it with her leftover Chihuahuas.

[From the New York Daily News]

If this were any other celebrity – even Britney Spears – I’d say this was bull, or she at least didn’t mean it. But this is Paris Hilton, and she buys all sorts of exotic animals on a whim. Buying a cheetah wouldn’t be all that out of character for her. Getting it back to her home might be a problem. Oh and actually taking care of it decently – that would be out of character for Paris Hilton. But being dumb and self-centered enough to buy herself a cheetah (probably to match the prints on her bags) doesn’t seem all that impossible for Paris.

Note by Celebitchy: I thought Paris’ kinkajou was taken away by animal authorities for being an illegal pet in California, but it might not have been. I could only find that story in one source and it’s undated. Paris was bitten by the kinkajou in August, 2006, and I couldn’t determine if she still has it locked up in a cage somewhere.

If a little monkey-like creature bit her and required a trip to the hospital I can only imagine what harm a cheetah is capable of inflicting on the clueless woman.

Paris Hilton is on tour with her boyfriend Benji Madden’s band Good Charlotte, but the fiance of his twin brother and band mate is stuck home with their newborn baby. That may be her choice, but Star Magazine says it’s not and that Nicole Richie is super pissed that frenemy Paris gets to tag along while she’s left holding the baby:

Sources confirm to Star that Nicole was devastated when Joel informed her she would not be coming on the tour. She previously hit the road with the band, even while heavily pregnant, so she assumed this time was no different. She had even begun interviewing nannies to help her with daughter Harlow.

“Nicole begged Joel to let her tag along, but he refused to put the baby through that much traveling,” says a friend of hers. “He thinks a rock tour is no place for a newborn and has put his foot down.”

One insider says Nicole tried to make her case for coming by insisting she was nervous about being away from Joel, 29, for so long and that she was worried about caring for Harlow without his help.

But another source says Nicole, 26, is really just upset that Paris Hilton - who has been dating Joel’s twin brother, Benji, since February - is crashing the tour. And Nicole knows that wherever Paris, 27, goes, there’s usually trouble. “Nicole is livid!” says another source. “The thought of Paris on the road influencing Joel makes her skin crawl. Nicole doesn’t trust Paris as far as she can throw her.

[From Star Magazine, print edition, April 7, 2008]

You can see this being the case even if Star Magazine’s sources all happen to be staffers. It’s got to be hard to be apart from your partner right after you have a baby, and going on tour with a nanny seems preferable to staying home. It’s possible that Benji and Joel didn’t really talk about the fact that Paris was tagging along and that Joel decided that Nicole should stay home before he realized that Paris would be stealing his band’s thunder.

When my husband and I were watching “Wetten, Das?” with Paris on Saturday, he asked “isn’t it bad publicity for Good Charlotte to be associated with Paris Hilton? Like doesn’t that demean their integrity as a band?” It kind of does. They may not be sleeping with tons of groupies but we know at least one of them thinks with his dick.

Paris Hilton is shown clutching her chin after she took a fall earlier in the day on the cobblestones in Prague. The story is that “they were mobbed by fans and photographers, calling Paris to fall to the ground.” Thanks to WENN for these photos.

Paris Hilton was on popular German variety show “Wetten, Das?” or “Wanna Bet?” this weekend. Overall she was rather boring, although she got the crowd laughing with a stupid comment that wasn’t meant to be a joke. Host Thomas Gottschalk made two cracks about her high intelligence and it didn’t seem like she understood that he was making fun of her.

When Paris came on stage she kissed the five guests that were already there on both cheeks, although that’s not a custom at all in Germany. She seemed nervous at first, but warmed up as the show went on. The show is broadcast in German and English-speaking guests rely on a translation of the questions from a listening device.

Host Thomas Gottschalk asked Paris about her boyfriend, Benji Madden, and mentioned that she’s on tour with him. Gottschalk asked if she was able to step out of the spotlight and let her boyfriend take center stage.

Paris is “really in love”
She said, “I’m so proud of him. I love the band. I’m really in love so it’s nice being on tour. It’s exciting being here as well.”

Then the host asked Paris about her reputation. He said everyone is talking about her and that some people call her a clever businesswoman and others call her a comic figure. He asked how she would describe herself.

Paris answered “I’m definitely a businesswoman. I have several business projects.”

Paris talked about her upcoming show to find a best friend and said it would include girls and guys.

Gottschalk joked that Paris might chose one of the cute one German male actors on stage, and one guy said he was taken and the other one said “I’m not.”

Paris said “I’m very loyal, especially now.”
Paris said she was taken and that “I’m very loyal, definitely, especially now,” which made the crowd crack up laughing, although she didn’t seem to intend it as a joke.

They had three female German biatheletes on stage and Paris said “I love sports, I love to ski.” She complimented one of the biatheletes on her bright red hair.

On the show the guests bet whether people can complete bizarre tasks and if the celebrities lose they have to do something that’s meant to be embarrassing and/or uncomfortable. For instance the two young German guys, Jimi Blue and Wilson Gonzalez, had to take a bath in a vat of ice water on stage when they lost their bet.

Paris’ lame challenge
Paris’ bet involved whether an Australian guy could hit a squash ball three times into a tiny box outside the court. She bet he could do it and lost, and all she had to do after she lost was pick someone out of the audience and pose with them in a photo booth, something that comes naturally for her.

Host mocks Paris
Gottschalk asked Paris to pose for a photo with another guest, soccer goalie Oliver Kahn, and made a joke that they needed a photo for the Frankfurter Allgemeine Zeitung (similar to the NY Times) for a report on people of high intelligence. Paris didn’t laugh so they either didn’t translate that it for her or she didn’t get it.

Overall it’s safe to say that Paris remains an object of derision in Germany.

You can watch the video of Paris’ lame challenge on ZDF.de. Pictures from local newspaper thueringer-allgemeine.de.

Paris Hilton serves as an example that despite a lack of education, talent, personality or any discernible skill, you too can become filthy rich by showing up to stuff and slapping your name on the right cheap merchandise.

Paris gave some statements while in Istanbul to judge the Miss Turkey beauty pageant that she’s a self made woman and doesn’t pay attention to her detractors. She sees herself as an inspiration to girls and says she’s “built this empire on my own.”

In Istanbul, Turkey, to judge the annual Miss Turkey beauty pageant, the celebutante defended herself against claims that she is the superficial simpleton the media would have you believe she is.

“I don’t pay attention to lies because I am a good person,” says the hotel heiress. “I work very hard and I’ve built this empire on my own. I think this is an inspiration for a lot of girls out there.”

Speaking of her rich grandpa, the older Hilton sister shrugged off the bad news that she and her siblings have been all but completely written out of their portion of Conrad Hilton’s $2.3 billion fortune, saying, “It won’t affect me anyway.”

[From OK! Magazine]

Maybe she’s right and that’s what’s sad. There are plenty of girls who want to be starved and stupid just like Paris. She inspires them to go shopping, act clueless, and back stab their friends.

OK! Magazine points out the obvious facts that Paris went to jail for violating probation on a DUI and that she rose to fame following the release of a sex tape, but even if you assume she’s moved past that and is a different person now, what has she done that’s so inspirational? She’s made money from appearances, she released a perfume and some ugly handbags, she endorses champagne in a can, and she showed up at an orphanage once when it was convenient for her.

Disney characters that have their lives saved by whatever man comes along are much more inspirational than Paris. I’d rather have my future daughter aspiring to marry well than trying to become infamous like Paris, not that either is preferable to a good education.

Paris is shown in Turkey yesterday, thanks to WENN.

It’s never any big surprise to hear that things aren’t going well between Nicole Richie and Paris Hilton. Frankly, it’s a big surprise to hear otherwise. The two had an infamous falling out in 2005, supposedly after Nicole screened a copy of Paris’ sex tape “One Night In Paris” on a big screen TV. Though they eventually reconciled, they clearly haven’t been as tight since then. Paris is now dating Benji Madden, twin brother of Nicole’s boyfriend Joel Madden. Though several stories have claimed Nicole set up the pair to get Benji out of her hair, it seems that’s the last thing from the truth. Apparently Nicole can barely stand Paris, and having her date Benji just increases the time she has to spend with her.

Feud 2.0 is all about the whirlwind relationship between Nicole’s future brother-in-law, Benji Madden, and Paris, a hookup that’s left Nicole fuming with her friend. “Nicole has made it clear to Paris that she doesn’t like her seeing (Benji),” an insider told Star. “She thinks Paris is a total nightmare to be around and just wants her to go away. She isn’t happy about Paris once again crashing what is now her picture-perfect life.”

So why does Nicole suddenly see her BFF as a big burden? Allegedly it all goes back to Benji’s breakup with her other pal Sophie Monk. Sophie and Benji were engaged, but split up in February. While no one’s accusing Paris of stealing him away, Nicole doesn’t like the timing.

“She feels that Paris screwed Sophie over by coming on to Benji so quickly,” the source revealed to the magazine. “Her allegiance is definitely with Sophie — she doesn’t trust Paris one bit.” Apparently Nicole’s plan is to wait it out and hope for, well, the worst. “Nicole is just hoping Paris’ relationship with Benji goes down the toilet as quickly as most of her other relationships have. She just wants to get on with her life without Paris.”

[From MSNBC]

I wonder how this kind of gossip plays out at home. I couldn’t be around someone who’d said something like that about me – but if most celebs paid attention to all the gossip about them, they’d be in a constant state of bickering with nearly everyone they knew. Somehow these two ladies are so petty and empty that it wouldn’t surprise me if Nicole had said this type of thing about Paris – and it wouldn’t surprise me if Paris was just dating Benji to piss off Nicole. Either way, dating the brother of your supposed best friend is probably a little too close for comfort. But I’m guessing Nicole’s prediction will be correct, and Paris will be bored of Benji in under a month.

Here’s Nicole at the DCMA Collective Flagship Store Grand Opening on March 14th. Paris is pictured at the Kim Vo Salon and Spa Grand Opening at the Mirage Hotel and Casino in Las Vegas on March 7th. Images thanks to PR Photos.

Remember last week, when Paris Hilton was seen around town with a guy dressed like a shaman? That story turned out to be fake, but that wasn’t the whole story. Paris and her fake guru were part of a new reality prank show on E! Network called “Pop Fiction.” The show is executive produced by Ashton Kutcher and the premise is this: what if celebrities who are hounded by the paparazzi decided to ‘fight back’ by faking stories of their own? The goal of show, according to producers, is the shake up the paparazzi and celebrity gossip mags, to make them think twice about printing news. It’s like a vigilante version of “Punk’d.”

The half-hour show featured two segments. The first was Paris and her fake guru. Paris, in an interview, says that she decided to participate in the show after a fake item ran about her starting a charity to help save drunken elephants in India. That rumor was actually picked up by the AP News, and they were later forced to print a retraction. The show pointed out that within hours, news of Paris and her guru was all over the Internet and the subject of blogs around the globe.

“Next time you read the tabloids, ask yourself if it’s real or if it’s pop fiction,” she warned.

In the second segment, pop singer Avril Lavigne led on the paparazzi by sporting a fake baby bump while shopping on Robertson Blvd. in L.A. She predicted that she wouldn’t be able to walk one block without being submerged by paparazzi. “Robertson is where you go when you want attention,” she said. (Are you listening, Britney?) She then waded through paparazzi with her husband and some friends to shop at Baby Kitson and Lisa Kline Kids, trendy boutiques featuring kids’ clothes. She was quick to call her mother and warn her that she might see pictures or read about Avril’s pregnancy, and that it wasn’t true. Twenty minutes later, the show says, there were photos of Avril all over the Internet confirming her “pregnancy.”

Life & Style Magazine reports that Avril Lavigne went out of her way to hide a suspicious belly bump while eating at the Beverly Grand restaurant in Los Angeles on March 13th. “She insisted on putting on her jacket before she got out of the car,” an eyewitness revealed. “When she did get out, it was like, ‘Whoa,’ she looks so pregnant!’” The 21-year-old singer is currently engaged to Sum 41 frontman Deryck Whibley, 25.

[From Popdirt.com]

As a member of the so-called “gossip rag” militia, I have mixed feelings about this show. Here at Celebitchy, we really want to get the information right. We are probably one of the few gossip blogs that will correct our facts if we get them wrong, and we often have a “take this story with a grain of salt” attitude. But we’re well aware that Celebitchy is in the minority on this philosophy. These kinds of pranks are going to make it more difficult to get our facts in line, but I certainly understand the concept behind them. The paparazzi and many gossip outlets definitely overstep their boundaries these days and continuously cross the line into obscene amounts of privacy invasion. The actor who played Paris’ guru hit the nail on the head when, after the pair are swarmed by cameras, he says, “I would probably be the guy who punches a paparazzi.”

I wonder if Ashton Kutcher will continue to get high-profile celebs involved in the pranks on the show. I also wonder if anyone is actually going to watch this show: it’s on at 10:30 on Sunday night. On E! Network. Not exactly a ringer in the ratings department, if you ask me.

Note by Celebitchy: We covered that Avril Lavigne story, but it wasn’t a very original concept. A married pop star sports a little bump and goes shopping at baby stores at the largest paparazzi-target shopping area in the world. Of course people are going to say she’s pregnant. They need to step it up a little if they want to create decent shows. The Paris Hilton guru story was pretty interesting. JayBird covered that Avril shopping for baby clothes story and was quite subdued about it, she said “I would say the traditional ‘Congrats to the happy couple,’ but with someone like Avril Lavigne, she’s probably apt to punch me in the eye for it.”

No one really gives a shit about Avril except to say she shouldn’t reproduce.

Ahhh, the joke’s on us. Remember a few days ago when Paris Hilton was snapped wandering around L.A. with some supposed guru? We thought the joke was on Paris, because the guru is actually an actor. And Paris is pretty dumb. And desperate to seem deep and relevant. So it seemed like a pretty sure thing. I noted, “There’s no way to ascertain whether Paris knows [“guru” Maxie] Santillan is an actor or if she thinks he’s really a monk. I really really really hope this is for an upcoming episode of Punk’d or something. Which I don’t think is even on anymore, but if there was anyone who deserves to be Punk’d, it’s definitely Paris. She’d laugh like she was in on it the whole time, but only because she has no idea what’s going on, and in that type of situation it’s always best to laugh.” Well it turns out it is a joke – but not on Paris, on the rest of us. Paris was actually in on the whole thing.

Paris Hilton had an improbable dinner date in L.A. Saturday: a gray-haired, orange-robed “shaman” who blessed her and urged her to give a diamond necklace to a total stranger. “He’s really changed my life,” Hilton told paparazzi from her car, adding she offered the necklace “because the greatest gift is to give.”

Turns out, as some outlets later discovered, the “mystic” was an actor named Maxie Santillan Jr., who has appeared on CSI and My Name Is Earl. And though some accused Hilton of getting Punk’d, the joke’s on them: The entire scene was staged for a new show from Punk’d producer Ashton Kutcher premiering Sunday on E! (10:30 ET/PT).

Pop Fiction, an eight-episode series, is a prank show targeting paparazzi and gullible media outlets. It’s made with the eager help of stars, who were the laughing stocks of Kutcher’s former MTV show. This time the shoe’s on the other foot, and the series has been kept so tightly under wraps that E!’s own website fell victim to the Hilton hoax and other planted stories that producers won’t yet divulge.

[From the Huffington Post]

Tricky bastards. That’s freaking amazing that they managed to pull one over on their own network. And to do all this without any of the paparazzi figuring it out is pretty impressive. How in the world did they disguise all the cameras? I guess they probably made the show’s cameras look like they were part of the paparazzi. Really, the big tip-off (besides the fact that the guy’s an actor) was Paris giving away her diamond necklace. I could definitely believe she’s wander around with a guru thinking it would make her look good. But there’s no way in hell you can convince me that Paris Hilton would give away a real diamond anything. You have to give credit where it’s due: that Ashton Kutcher is one sneaky dude.

Paris is shown out with her “Shaman” on 3/1/08.

While there are few things bloggers enjoy more than mocking Jessica Simpson, it seems her universally panned movie “Blonde Ambition” might not have been such a mistake after all. Once execs saw the final cut, they banished the film straight to DVD. However to save Jessica’s ego, they gave it a teeny, tiny limited run at a few theaters in Texas for one weekend. It grossed a (probably) record setting $2000 over the two days. That made Paris Hilton’s recent, disastrous turn in “The Hottie and the Nottie” look like a relatively good business venture in comparison – it brought in $26,000 it’s opening weekend. Still abysmal and embarrassing, though to be fair “The Hottie and the Nottie” opened on 111 screens, whereas “Blonde Ambition” opened on 5. In the competition for who could be the biggest loser, it seemed like Simpson was going to have to tuck her tail between her legs and take the title. BUT! At the last minute, she’s been spared - “Blonde Ambition” managed to take in a not-totally-mortifying $253,008. In the Ukraine. That’s right, Eastern Europe confusingly loves Jessica Simpson.

Is Jessica Simpson the David Hasselhoff of Ukraine? The blond starlet seems to be the toast of the Eastern European nation. Her latest film, Blonde Ambition, hit No. 1 in Ukraine, grossing $253,008 for the weekend of Feb. 14-17, Box Office Mojo reports.

How to explain the comedy’s success abroad? One word: escapism.

“The former Soviet nations have a sweet tooth for straight-up comedies,” Conor Bresnan, editor in chief of Box Office Mojo International, tells PEOPLE. “When these comedies have big name celebrities like Jessica Simpson’s, that’s all that’s needed to sell the movie. Russian and Ukrainian audiences have an even bigger urge for escapism than Americans. So, films like Blonde Ambition will gross more than No Country for Old Men.

And this may only be the beginning for Blonde Ambition. Next stop: Bulgaria.

[From People]

I understand escapism, but isn’t there a point at which it becomes so bad that you actually feel guilty for watching it? And isn’t pretty much anything starring Jessica Simpson well beyond that point? The film will likely still end up a loser. Generally studios recoup the film’s budget in America and make their profits overseas. Still, it’s a little less embarrassing overall. So if Jessica’s first “empty feel good” film made around $2000 in America and that translated to $253,008 in the Ukraine, and Paris Hilton’s “empty feel good” film made around $26,000 in America, that would translate to… what? I don’t do math. I’m just saying, Paris could still make a killing. Oh the horror. I can’t say why, but somehow I sense that Jessica Simpson is just smart enough to know she should be embarrassed by what happened with her movie, regardless of what the Ukrainian film-going public may think. Something tells me Paris Hilton isn’t that smart.

I thought Paris Hilton already celebrated her 27th birthday by dressing like a My Little Pony in remembrance of her childhood and less penile-looking pre-plastic surgery nose, but she decided to have yet another blow out, with blow being the operative word. She donned her Halloween costume of choice and dressed like a slutty policewoman to perform with the Pussycat Dolls burlesque troupe in Las Vegas on Saturday night. Paris also graced the gaping crowd with a performance in a giant champagne class while wearing a white sparkly bodice and feather boa. That far-away look in her half-lidded eyes as she groped herself is more evocative of Anna Nicole than Marilyn Monroe. She’s got to be pissed that Lohan stole her thunder with a topless photo shoot that just came out today. Just get more naked next time, Paris. People will pay more attention to you once you take more clothes off.

Here’s the video, thanks to TMZ. She looks like she’s posing for a photo shoot, not stripping for a crowd. Dita Von Teese would have some advice to give her under the guise of being helpful, but with a tone of disdain at how much she’s sully the art:

Paris was seen making out with newly-divorced Travis Barker at a club over the weekend. The first time she was spotted with the tattooed reality star and drummer, his estranged wife Shanna Moakler got mighty pissed and got into a screaming match with Paris. Now that they’re really divorced she doesn’t have much to scream about. We’ll leave that to Dita once she sees Paris’ lackluster performance.