Over the past week, I’ve been seeing stuff about Linnocent and how she has been kicking it old-school with the Hilton sisters, like it’s 2006 all over again. Apparently, Linnocent and Paris are BFFs once again. Let’s see… a crackhead drama queen and worthless famewhore moron. Match made in heaven! I’m not even going to pretend that one of them is better than the other. They are completely equal, in my mind. Anyway, we don’t have any of the new photos, but you can see some of the photo sets here and here.

So, what do Linnocent and Paris do while they hang out? Drink mint tea with their book club? Of course not. They go out and they get wasted. Guess which firecrotch still can’t hold her liquor and falls down as soon as she’s forced to stand up?

Lindsay Lohan seems to have become a non-stop party animal. For the third day in a row, the troubled starlet partied down in Malibu with her new BFF (and former enemy) Paris Hilton.

Saturday night’s bash became Sunday morning’s, and Lindsay didn’t leave until 4 AM!

Lindsay very definitely didn’t want to be seen when she left Paris’ rented beach pad.
She pulled her hoodie up over her head, and when she got into the passenger seat of the car driving her home, she completely bent over in an effort to obscure her face.

Lindsay is still on probation for her theft and DUI convictions and has no prohibitions against partying, but it was only 10 days ago that Judge Stephanie Sautner warned her to “go back to community service and your life will be in order.”

The no-nonsense justice added that she’ll accept “no excuses” from Lindsay for not completing her counseling and community service requirements within the required time.

“No excuses” would probably include partying like a rock star.

[From Radar]

Of course that isn’t the end of the story – Linnocent had to tweet her crack denial on Twitter, of course. Guess what?! IT’S NOT HER FAULT. I know, shocking. Bitch fell down because she was blinded. And because she was pushed. And because she tripped!

[From Linnocent’s Twitter]

I wish her brain wasn’t fried from years of drug and alcohol abuse so she could come up with some original crack denials.

By the way, is anyone wondering why Paris and Linnocent buried the hatchet? No? Too bad. A source tells E! News, “Paris has known Lindsay since she was 15 years old. The girls have had their falling-outs in the past, but they’ve put that all behind them. They feel that life is short and they’re adults and have been friends way too long to let go.” Of course, the source also didn’t see Linnocent drink anything, so God knows.

Photos courtesy of WENN.

A few days ago, a useless cokehead dumbass walked out of a Good Morning America interview in a huff. Paris Hilton got her thong in disarrays after ABC correspondent Dan Harris questioned Paris about her irrelevance, citing the Kardashians’ fame as an example of how Paris has been overshadowed in the famewhore game. Paris looked off camera (to her publicist, it seems) and then she got up in a huff, temporarily leaving the interview. She later returned and finished the segment. Now TooFab reports that Paris is all whiny about it, and she thinks she was “ambushed”. Seriously.

Paris Hilton is upset with ABC and correspondent Dan Harris for airing an “Good Morning America” interview that went awry, a source close to the situation tells TooFab exclusively.

The 30-year-old reality TV star walked off set because Harris deviated from the agreed-upon (and very serious) topic of stalking, the source says.

The source says Hilton invited Harris and his camera crew into her home to talk about the recent string of celebrity stalkings. Hilton’s alleged stalker, James Rainford, was recently arrested and charged with attacking her then-boyfriend Cy Waits in April and stalking her outside her home in July.

“Do you worry sometimes that people that have followed in your footsteps like Kim Kardashian are overshadowing you?” Harris asked.

“No, not at all,” Hilton responded.

“Do you worry about your moment having passed?” Harris pressed on, at which point Hilton audibly scoffed and left her chair.

The source says that particular question set Hilton off because just moments prior, Harris had gone on and on about the success (to the tune of $1 billion) of her fragrance lines and merchandising. “It’s ridiculous that he went on an on about her making a billion dollars, and then asking if she’s relevant,” the source added. “She is upset. She felt ambushed.”

The source adds that Hilton resumed the interview after ABC told her they were cutting out the part where she walked away, but they did not. The source also says Hilton feels Harris did this only to get publicity for himself, which he’s now accomplished.

[From Too Fab]

Absolutely. Ridiculous. Paris Hilton was doing a sit-down interview which was being pre-taped (it’s not like this junk was live!), and she was trying to promote her failing reality show which no one cares about. The only way she gets attention anymore is by getting arrested, hooking up with someone major, or being absolutely idiotic (see this post). Instead of being smart enough to say, “Well, I think my multiple successful business interests speak for themselves,” Paris showed her ass and let everyone know that she actually is THAT irrelevant, and she knows it too.

By the way, don’t you love that Paris is calling Dan Harris a famewhore? That’s what she’s saying – “He’s only famous because he asked me a mean question!” It’s called being a half-decent journalist, for the love of God.

Photos courtesy of Fame.

Do you remember how Paris Hilton is pretty much irrelevant now? Yeah. Her reality show, The World According to Paris, bombed out, ratings-wise. Her photos rarely make the blogs and tabloids anymore. No one gives a crap that she dumped her meathead boyfriend, and we only barely care that she’s now dating a pretty successful director, Todd Phillips. But in Paris’s mind, she’s still hot stuff. She’s still the Grand Dame of Useless Famewhore Dumbasses. Paris does not realize that she’s been replaced. She’s mostly been replaced by an assortment of Snookis, OctoMoms and Kardashians, basically anyone with no shame, narcissism and a red carpet. Anyway, when Paris sat down for an interview with Good Morning America, Paris was asked about her irrelevance and she got all pissy and walked out of the interview. This is the question that set her off: “Do you ever worry about your moment having passed?” Here’s the video:

When she came back, Paris said: “I’ve been in this business for 15 years now, so it’s been a very long time. Just like any other business person or someone in the industry, it’s always important to reinvent yourself and come up with new projects.” LMAO at “I’ve been in this business for 15 years” - WTF? What business?!? Fifteen years ago she was what? 16 years old, and dancing on tables, drunk off her ass. That’s how she first got noticed too.

By the way, I think it’s official now that Paris Hilton and the Kardashians just flat-out hate each other now. Last year, there were several stories about Kim being a bitch to Paris and Paris bad-mouthing Kim. Now Paris is too stupid to even pretend that she’s not filled with rage and jealousy over the Kardashians’ success.

Photos courtesy of Fame & WENN.

Paris Hilton must be desperate to get us to watch the tail end of her flailing reality show, The World According to Paris. Either that and/or she’s trying to make her very recent ex boyfriend, Cy Waits, think she’s moved on already. Paris has been spotted out with Hangover director Todd Phillips. In case the club makeout pictures on TMZ weren’t enough to convince us, she arranged a pappable moment with Phillips, who looked kind of annoyed to see that their outing was being photographed.

It must be love! Paris Hilton and Todd Phillips have now been spotted together THREE times!

The unlikely pair began showing up together almost immediately after Paris confirmed she’d split from longtime boyfriend Cy Waits.

She was caught kissing The Hangover producer/director at a nightclub on Thursday, and Sunday the new pair was out for lunch in Malibu.

Paris & Kathy Hilton Have A Mom & Daughter Dinner Out – See The Photos

Phillips has several films in development, including Hangover 3. Don’t be surprised if Paris pops up in one of them.

[From Radar]

I hope Radar is wrong and that Paris doesn’t get cameos in any of his films. She could play herself I guess, but it’s not like she has a fraction of Diddy or Mike Tyson’s acting ability or charisma.

I’m not buying this relationship. Paris dates pretty boys like Doug Reinhardt, Alex Vaggo, Stavros Niarchos III, Paris Latsis and Cy. She did declare her love for Benji Madden, though, so maybe she likes to mix it up when she needs the publicity.

In other news about Paris, her stalker was arrested outside her Malibu beach house on Monday. This was the same guy who attacked her then-boyfriend, Cy Waits, outside a court hearing for another stalker/intruder in April. I think the problem here is that Paris is just way too easy to find.

Here’s Todd Phillips without his shades. He’s much better looking here.

Photo credit: Fame Pictures and WENN

Paris Hilton’s new reality show, The World According to Paris, premiered on the Oxygen network last week. It was a “ratings bomb,” according to multiple reports and got just 409,000 viewers. Reality TV World explains that those are low ratings “even by the women’s cable network’s fairly modest standards,” and adds that by comparison Aubrey O’Day’s reality show got 704,000 views for its premiere episode.

What’s more is that Paris has pulled out of promoting the show. She cancelled a bunch of scheduled press appearances, not that they would have made any difference, after Barbara Walters called her to task on The View last week. Barbara and Whoopi questioned why Paris hasn’t done any charity work and why she’s doing a reality show yet again, and Paris got defensive but handled herself well. (You can watch that video here if you’re in the US.) It was too much for her, though, and she couldn’t be bothered to show up for anything after that. This explains why Paris’ cat-faced mom, Kathy, was on The Today Show alone yesterday to do an interview about the show. Do you think the Kardashians would ditch a morning television appearance like that? Of course none of this is Paris’ fault, and it’s not due to the public’s lack of interest in her. It’s all the network’s fault:

“Paris is furious that the show didn’t premiere at the time it was supposed to,” an insider tells me when speaking about ‘The World According to Paris.’ “She worked her tail off doing promotion and publicity for the show and then because of a technical mistake, the show aired at a completely different time in a lot of markets.”

A representative from the network denies that there were any glitches in her premiere episode.

“The show premiered at 10 p.m. on Wednesday, June 1 as was promoted,” an Oxygen spokesperson told me in a statement. “There were no technical mistakes. We look forward to a very exciting run of the series.”

This week’s episode brings together Paris and Charlie Sheen’s ex, Brooke Mueller, whose ongoing substance abuse struggles will be addressed. The rep said this week’s episode with feature Brooke’s “cry for help.”

Her busy week of promotion also included a rough interview on ‘The View,’ where Barbara Walters and Whoopi Goldberg grilled the socialite on the frivolity of her show. She reportedly flipped out backstage and got into a shouting match with a producer. In short, it was a disaster and she canceled events because of it.

“Paris’ second season on that MTV show where she found a new friend was a disaster and she hasn’t been able to sell a magazine cover since the Kardashians arrived,” a TV insider tells me. “If the numbers remain less then the 400,000 that tuned in last week she could get pulled off the air.”

By comparison, the March debut of singer Aubrey O’Day’s show drew 724,000, and 1.7 million viewers tuned in for the premiere of the most recent installment of ‘The Bad Girls Club.’

“This could be the last nail in the coffin,” a senior marketing manager tells me. “She has been replaced by Teen Moms and Snooki. She would have been better off not doing a new reality show at all then doing one that proves no one cares.”

[From Popeater]

I agree with Whoopi and Barbara. Paris is a twit. If her life is so great and she’s got so many businesses going why is she doing reality TV again? I know, she wants to show that she can compete with the Kardashians and the Jersey Shore kids. Only she can’t, she’s old news, and she’s never matured beyond the party girl doing drugs and dropping racist slurs that we saw in those “Paris Exposed” videos. This is her life, and she doesn’t have a lot to offer. We’ve all known this for some time. It’s Paris who will never get it.

Paris Hilton, her monotone voice and her Botoxed to hell mom were on The Piers Morgan Show last night. She went on at length about how her sex tape partner, Rick Soloman, sold her out and ruined her dreams in the process. At one point she even sort-of compared herself to Princess Diana. It was ridiculous. Throughout it all, Paris’ mom Kathy cried but only her lips and hands moved while her unnaturally puffy face tried to scrunch up in a “sad” expression that she couldn’t quite manage. Meanwhile Paris just acted and sounded bored and vapid, like she always does. She’s promoting her “World According to Paris” reality show, which premieres on Oxygen tonight.

P. HILTON: I just — just felt so betrayed. This was not some random guy. This was someone I was with for a few years.

MORGAN: That you loved?

P. HILTON: I thought I did and I can’t believe that he would do something like that to me. It’s something that changed my life forever. You know, and I was a little girl, I looked up to people like Princess Diana and these women, and I feel like he took that away from me.

This is not what I planned. I didn’t want to be known as that, and now, when people look at me they think that I’m something I’m not just because of one incident one night with someone who I was in love with. People assume — oh, she’s a slut just because of one thing that happened to me and it’s hard because I’ll never — I’ll have to live with that for the rest of my life and explain it to my children.

And it’s — it’s something that’s changed my life forever and I’ll never be able to erase it…

K. HILTON: And it doesn’t go away, I mean, that is something that will always —

MORGAN: I see people now, you know, pretty low-ranking celebrities who I suspect are almost deliberately creating sex tapes and putting them out there.

K. HILTON: Like it’s some recipe.

MORGAN: Yes — like it’s almost part of becoming a celebrity.

K. HILTON: Well, I can say this — Paris already had, you know, 14 or 12 or 14 pages in “Vanity Fair.” I think that we have to give Donald Trump and also Graydon Carter from “Vanity Fair” some credit because they both — you know, Donald actually was handling her modeling career and talked us into even allowing her, because we were friends with him. So, he really started her out and then Graydon spotted her, you know, in New York and — and did this whole story on her.

So, that really was when people started to see, you know …

[CNN Transcripts via Popeater]

Read where Paris’ mom said that her daughter had some pages in Vanity Fair so you can’t chalk her fame up to the sex tape. Piers brought it up on that ass-kissing way of his, but still it’s ridiculous. You can tell that Kathy is still hurt and upset by all this while Paris is totally over it and just giving it lip service.

I would say that like so many of her contemporaries after her, Paris may cry and complain about her sex tape getting out, but no sex tapes are released commercially without co-stars signing off on them. There’s no “hard” evidence that Paris cashed in on her sex tape, just a rumor from the NY Post that she was overheard bragging with Soloman that they’d each made a million off of it. Also, the tape coincidentally came out just a week prior to Paris’ small screen reality show debut, The Simple Life. Paris did sue Salomon for the tape’s release, but only after he sued her first for defamation when she tried to claim that she didn’t sign off on it. (I got a refresher on all that on Wiki)

So the whole sex tape issue with Paris is sketchy, and since the tape came out right before her first reality show and helped catapult her to fame, I don’t think it affected her negatively at all. There was never an option for Paris to be the next Princess Diana, and if she was aiming for that maybe she should have followed through on some of that charity work she pledged to do after she got out of jail. Like that time she promised to go to Rwanda and never quite got there. Handing her bikini photos out to orphans while her then-boyfriend was on tour in South Africa doesn’t count.

The time is fast approaching for the vacuously reprehensible Paris Hilton to make a return to television in “The World According to Paris,” but the only thing that truly troubles me here is that this show will play on the Oxygen network. Really? It seems slightly surprising that Oprah Winfrey’s cable network would go for Paris, who truly seems much more suitable for E!, but I guess that network is all booked up with Kardashian shows, much to Paris’ chagrin. At any rate, Paris has been promoting the show in her general lazy way; this is, she has pushed up her boobs, attended an official launch, and posed on the red carpet with her mom, aunts, and creepy boyfriend. Also, Paris has dictated her own “25 Things You Don’t Know About Me,” which isn’t quite as hilarious as Britney’s recent list but still fairly indicative of a lack of reality nonetheless.

1. I love scrapbooking and creating albums as gifts for my friends and family.
2. I was born in NYC and grew up in a hotel.
3. I’m an amazing cook. I’m really great at making big breakfasts, but my specialty is lasagna.
4. I’ve played piano since I was 5.
5. I have naturally curly hair.
6. Katy Perry’s music always puts me in a good mood and makes me want to dance.
7. I have pet rats.
8. I love applesauce.
9. My most prized possessions are the dresses my grandmother left me.
10. When I was little, my mom would punish me by unplugging my private phone.
11. I’ve seen There’s Something About Mary countless times.
12. My aunts [Kim and Kyle Richards] are on The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, and it’s one of my favorite shows!
13. I was a high school cheerleader.
14. I own my own motorcycle team, and they just won their first race in France this week!
15. I love Forever 21.
16. I’m really good at skiing.
17. I was vegan for two years.
18. I like to go fishing.
19. Elizabeth Taylor was my great aunt. [Taylor was wed to Conrad Hilton, Jr. from 1950 to 1951.]
20. I have a race car license.
21. I love to draw. I’m always sketching designs for my handbag and footwear lines.
22. I can play the violin.
23. I love to play practical jokes on people.
24. I speak French but want to learn more languages.
25. I’m a daredevil and love to skydive!

[From Us Magazine]

Wait, doesn’t everyone know that Paris grew up living at the Waldorf Astoria? That place has bedbugs now too, which cannot be a mere coincidence by any stretch since Paris is very famed for her various strains of cooties. Seriously though, her mom’s idea of punishment when Paris was just a young child was to unplug Paris’ private phone line? Pish posh.

Honestly though, I can buy that Paris loves scrapbooking because she loves to gaze upon pictures of herself. Her friends and relatives probably just roll their eyes when she presents gift-wrapped photo albums of Paris (!) at their birthday parties and other holiday celebrations. And Paris is an amazing cook just like Goop! They should totally hang together, and maybe Paris can guest-write an upcoming issue of the newsletter. Poor Gwyneth would just die over that one.

Photos courtesy of WENN

These are some new shots of Linnocent going in or out of her court-ordered community service. Is she wearing a bra this time? I can’t tell. I’m not even sure she owns a bra. She probably can’t afford one, right? She blows all of her hooker money on tequila and blow…? Allegedly.

Anyway, you know how Linnocent is going to be working with John Travolta on the Gotti movie? Well, there have been rumors that the Church of Scientology is trying to “get” Linnocent. This would be an interesting “get” for Xenu, but how in the world do you indoctrinate a delusional, narcissistic, crackheaded sociopath? You don’t. You can’t. Thus, Linnocent ran to TMZ to correct the record:

Lindsay Lohan is NOT joining the Church of Scientology … TMZ has learned — despite reports claiming John Travolta was trying to indoctrinate the actress into his religion.

Sources close to Lindsay tell TMZ, the actress has no plans whatsoever to become a Scientologist — she hasn’t taken any classes with the Church … and hasn’t even been asked to visit by current members.

We’re told Lindsay has nothing against the Church — but she was raised Catholic and plans to stay Catholic … in fact, she remains an avid practitioner to this day.

It’s all in response to several reports on Friday — that Lindsay made inroads with the Church of Scientology under the guidance of “Gotti” co-star John Travolta … but it just ain’t true.

[From TMZ]

Hahahaha, an “avid practitioner” of Catholicism. Meaning this, I suppose:

Or this:

Yeah. So devout. Jesus is all, “Ugh, this bitch.”

In other Linnocent news, a few days ago, TMZ “broke the story” that Paris Hilton “dropped the hammer” on Linnocent. Except that TMZ totally blew the whole thing out of proportion, and it’s basically like TMZ is just the girl in middle school who loves to tell everybody about how her friend Paris said this and that about her friend Lindsay and, like, OMG! Anyway, Paris was doing charity work at some homeless shelter, and a homeless woman asked for Paris’s earrings. Paris took them off and gave the earrings to the lady, who in turn asked Paris “Lindsay, why aren’t you in rehab?” Paris says – in voice over (because this was all part of her reality show) – that if she was Lindsay, she would be stealing the earrings, not giving them away. Um… yeah. Burn? Anyway, Linnocent was all “OMG, that’s SO MEAN!” and Paris went to TMZ and said “I apologize to Lindsay for the comment that I made. I was joking around but it was thoughtless and unnecessary. I am reaching out to Lindsay so I can tell her myself.” Snore.

Photos courtesy of Fame & Purple Magazine.

Paris Hilton might want to rethink her paparazzi-friendly living arrangements. Her boyfriend, Cy Waits, was attacked outside of a court appearance where they were to testify against a guy who broke into Paris’ house last August wielding two knives. (TMZ has video of the incident, and it’s not as dramatic as it sounds in the story below.) The attacker was another stalker of Paris’, not the defendant, and he smacked Waits in the head and was promptly restrained and arrested. The guy claimed to be there to propose to Paris, who said she recognized him as someone who was arrested on her property late last year. So Paris had to see two stalkers in one day. She does have security at her house, and she had a bodyguard with her who restrained the guy until police could get there.

Paris Hilton and her boyfriend Cy Waits had a scary incident before they entered a Los Angeles County court Wednesday afternoon and RadarOnline was there to witness what happened.

As the couple walked into a Van Nuys, Ca. court, a man took a swing at the pair, and landed a punch on the back of Cy’s head. Cy was stunned by the hit but continued into the courthouse, protecting Paris.

Paris’ bodyguards, though recognized the attacker and jumped into action. The man in question, James Rainford, was arrested last October when he rode his bike through the gates of Paris’ luxury Beverly Hills community, in a failed attempt to see her.

As RadarOnline reported at the time, he was subsequently ordered to perform community service and was placed on three year’s probation.

Paris instantly wrote on Twitter about what happened today. “That other psycho intruder just punched Cy in the back of the head as we were walking into the court house. So scary!”

Paris is in court to testify against another man, Nathan Parada, who is charged with breaking into her home with a large knife in his possession when Paris’ boyfriend, Cy Waits, held him at gunpoint until cops arrived. If convicted of the felony burglary charge, Parada could get six years in state prison.

[From Radar Online]

Poor Paris, it must be hard to tell the stalkers apart from the paparazzi. Only the real crazies with the knives and the marriage proposals stand out from the pack.

Remember last week, when actress Sara Salahi called out Paris Hilton via Twitter for almost hitting her with her car and supposedly running a stop sign? Well Paris told Extra that she wasn’t even driving that day. That sounds like the time she claimed that someone stole all the thoughtful gifts she purchased for her mom for Mother’s Day. So convenient. To be fair to a woman who doesn’t deserve it, there are a lot of skinny bird-faced women in LA with fake hair. There’s only one that drives a pepto bismol pink Bentley with custom license plates, though, so I think Paris is probably super identifiable when she’s driving.

Paris and Cy are shown on 4/9/11 (flower dress) and on 4/4/11 (eggplant dress). Credit: Fame. Paris is also shown alone and with her nasty aunt, Kyle Richards, on 4/26/11, and outside the late show with Cy (metallic dress, green dress) on 2/17/11. Credit: PRPhotos

I’ve loved Sarah Shahi for years, and now I have another reason to adore her. First, Sarah Shahi is on USA’s Fairly Legal, but I fell for her on that years-old NBC show, Life, which starred Damian Lewis (gorgeous, ginger, British). I also like her because she’s cute as hell, she has a great figure and she’s not really a famewhore in any way, shape or form. That being said, she does have a Twitter account (SO DO I, ZOMG), and she will bitch out random celebrities. But that just adds to why I love her.

So, the story seems to be that Paris Hilton almost “accidentally” ran over Sarah the other day. So Sarah got on her Twitter and sent out these tweets:

[From Sarah Shahi’s Twitter]

Cosign with all of that. Except I think it’s quite easy to get equally angry with Paris Hilton even if you’re not a mom. After all, I don’t want to drive on any roads where Paris might be lurking, and the thought of her driving like a maniac fills me with rage too.

Team Shahi!

Photos courtesy of WENN.