Another day, another set of photos where Paris Hilton looks pregnant. Back in December, Paris walked a red carpet looking really bloated in the abdomen area, and just last month she talked about her recent weight gain, saying that now she was a “normal weight”. So… do I honestly think Paris is pregnant? If she is, she has been gestating for a while and yet she’s stayed the same (kind of bloated) size. So chances are that she’s not pregnant, and she’s just gained some weight in her abdomen. That being said, I really do think that Paris will get pregnant some time soon. It’s in the air. It’s just a feeling I have.

In other Paris news, she recently talked about her old coke buddy Lindsay Lohan, saying that she hasn’t “seen” Lindsay in a while, but that: “Lindsay is a good person so I want her to turn it around. We haven’t been in touch recently because our lives have taken a different direction but I only wish her the best.”

Meanwhile, Paris got the last laugh regarding her one-time protégé Kim Kardashian. According to Billboard, Kim’s first (awful) single, “Jam (Turn It Up)” only got 14,000 downloads in its first 5 days of release, while Paris Hilton’s 2006 song debut “Stars Are Blind” sold 52,000 and placed on the charts the first week. Paris is more beloved than Kim Kardashian?!? That makes me want to pull out old photos of Paris and Kim together! Here they are, with their old faces, circa 2006:

Photos courtesy of Fame & WENN.

We’ve kind of ignored Paris Hilton for a while, but now that the Kardashian girls are all over the place I have to say I kind of miss her squinty bird face. She’s really quite harmless when compared to the alternative, and I kind of miss the halcyon days of Paris’ ubiquity. Paris has gained some weight recently, sparking pregnancy rumors. She’s cleared that up with the news that she’s on a 3,500 calorie a day bodybuilding diet thanks to the influence of her boyfriend/maybe fiance, Cy Waits. In a new interview with OK! Magazine, she says that she keeps active and that she’s now “a normal weight.” Paris is slightly growing on me. (No pun intended.) She’s respectful and appropriately-dressed in her court appearances, she’s relatively low-key with her famewhoring lately, and she looks really good and healthy with her recent weight gain. What the hell is wrong with me? (Note that I wrote all that before looking at any pictures of her. Once I saw her I came back to reality.)

On her weight:
“I was underweight. Now I’m a normal weight. [Cy and I] go on jogs every morning.”

On her friendship with Nicole Richie
Paris says she and Nicole Richie are still in touch. “We’ll always be close.”

On her Kim Kardashian feud
“I’ve never had a problem with her and she hasn’t with me… I wish her the best.”

On having children someday
“I think that’s the meaning of life, having your own children. I can’t wait for that day. I look forward to experiencing that love and close bond. I’m in an incredible relationship…”

Does this relationship feel different
“Yes. I’ve never met a man so loyal or ever felt so comfortable or safe with someone. With him, I know that I have nothing ever to worry about. I trust him with my life.”

Do you want to have a large family?
“Definitely. Family is really important to me, I’m so close with all of my family. I hope to be fortunate enough to be blessed with lots of children.”

[From OK! Magazine, print edition, March 7, 2011]

Paris has a new reality show coming on Oxygen, The World According to Paris, and I think she’ll soon find that people don’t really care. Her fame piqued in 2007. She might be more likeable now but that doesn’t translate into interest in whatever project she’s taking on. At least she’s setting a better example now that she’s off the coke (presumably) and isn’t a stick insect. Maybe this guy is the one for her though. He got her to eat something. He does look like a douche, but so is she.

Paris is shown on 2/18 outside the Late Show. Credit: PRPhotos. She’s also shown on 2/18 with Cy. Credit: Fame

They should use these photos for the anti-drug campaign: “This is your mind on cocaine.” Since Brooke Mueller’s M.O. is to first claim to be completely clean and sober, and then instantly check into rehab again, I think it’s HIGH time that someone start the cycle again. These are photos of Brooke and Paris Hilton out shopping yesterday. I think they’re still filming their reality series together. Seriously, kids, this is what happens when you smoke the rock – you end up blitzed out of your mind, shopping with Paris Hilton.

Two more things: first, The Daily Mail is trying to make it sound like Brooke Mueller maybe got implants? Maybe those are implants, but if they are, she’s had them for a while, because the chick has always been busty. Also: there’s no word on whether or not Brooke and Dave Navarro spent any time together other then their (gross) Aspen hookup a few weeks ago.

Photos courtesy of Fame.

Here’s a no-brainer about how former “it” girl Paris Hilton hates that her old friend, Kim Karadshian, is now much more famous and in-demand than she is. I remember back in 2006, when Paris had that “Stars are Blind” sort-of hit, and was still friends with Kim, who would tag along with her to photo ops and events. Then in February, 2007, Kim’s sex tape with Ray-J came out and Paris is said to have snubbed Kim by not inviting her to her 26th birthday party in Vegas. Now Paris is seeing Kim’s career skyrocket while she struggles to earn appearance fees. Paris is pissed, because she think she taught Kim how to work a red carpet and stick her name on cheap slave labor product lines:

While the official word from Paris Hilton’s camp denies she has anything but admiration for former BFF Kim Kardashian’s meteoric rise into the popular culture stratosphere, I’m hearing the hotel heiress is envious of her pal’s amazing financial success.

“It was Paris who really showed Kim the ropes,” said a longtime observer and acquaintance of both women. “Thanks to Paris, Kim learned how to work a red carpet, develop a reality TV show and — most important — turn herself and her entire family into a major marketing brand, now worth millions.”

According to the source, Hilton is somewhat irked that Kardashian is paid far more than she is for special appearances and overall makes more now from her various endorsement deals and the Kardashians’ multiple reality shows.

Meanwhile, Hilton continues to work on the reality series she is hoping to launch with Charlie Sheen’s estranged wife, Brooke Mueller.

[From The Chicago Sun Times]

Ooh I like that last line about how Paris is “hoping to launch” that reality show with Brooke Mueller. That suggests that it hasn’t even been picked up yet, which amuses the hell out of me.

Kim didn’t get any tutelage from Paris that the rest of us couldn’t have picked up from reading a few tabloids a month. All she did was follow Paris’ sex tape, reality show, baby-voiced T&A template. We were all sick of Paris anyway and needed some new mind numblingly vapid family to take our minds off the real world. That reminds me that Kim’s 15 minutes have got to be just about up. I pray that some new blood comes to take her place and that Kim and her countless sisters don’t continue to try and pass off dumb stunts and TMI as entertainment.

Look at how pretty Kim Kardashian used to be before she’d even had a nose job.

These photos are of Paris Hilton over the weekend, at an event for Supermartxe in Madrid, Spain. Paris had a few costume changes, and in every outfit, her slightly bloated abdomen was on full display. This caused Fame Pictures to ask: “Is Paris Hilton knocked up with Cy Waits’ baby?” Oh, GOD. It might have spawned. Or it could just be coked out its mind, and this is some kind of coke bloat. Which is more likely.

CB pointed out this old post from 2008, about Paris Hilton once again looking sort of pregnant, and apparently this is not the first time Paris pushes out her stomach for attention. She might even wear a fake belly – although in these photos from the weekend, I think that belly is all Paris.

The idea of Paris possibly being knocked up reminded me of Casey Johnson, the Johnson & Johnson heir who died earlier this year. Casey was a mother too – she adopted a little girl. Casey’s family took her daughter away from her because, obviously, Casey was a trainwreck, insane and an addict. If Paris was pregnant, would she go down that same route? Or would she “change” like Nicole Richie did when Nicole got knocked up?

Photos courtesy of Fame.

There’s some interesting back and forth in the celebrity sites about why Paris Hilton didn’t attend the weekend wedding of her former BFF, Nicole Richie. Richie had a lavish affair by most accounts, with over 150 guests, a ‘winter’ theme and an elephant, but avian Paris was off in Vegas. According to E! Online, Paris was invited but begged off because of a scheduled birthday party for a friend, which was filmed for Paris’ reality show. US Weekly claims that Paris wasn’t invited because Nicole worried that she would steal her thunder. Here are US and E!’s reports:

When Nicole Richie got hitched to Joel Madden this weekend in front of friends—such as Gwen Stefani, Ashlee Simpson-Wentz and Khloé Kardashian Odom—at dad Lionel’s Beverly Hills estate, many were wondering why Paris Hilton wasn’t there.

The former BFFs and Simple Life costars did have a falling out years ago, but have since patched things up.

And although Page Six says Paris didn’t make the guest list for the intimate affair, a Hilton confidant insists that’s not the case…

“She was invited, but she had another commitment,” a source close to the heiress tells me.

So what was the reason she couldn’t be there to see Nicole tie the knot?

Paris was shooting her Oxygen reality series in Vegas this weekend, where one of her castmates was celebrating her birthday (costar Brooke Mueller didn’t attend).

“This was planned months ago,” the source says. “Paris sent Nicole and Joel a wedding gift to congratulate them and wishes them both the best.” – E! Online

---

“Nicole knew very well that having Paris involved would have inevitably turned a special night into being about their friendship,” a source tells UsMagazine.com. “Nicole’s life is completely different now.”

In fact, Richie didn’t even bother to invite Hilton, her best friend since the age of 2, to attend the winter-themed ceremony. And though Richie’s pals Khloe Kardashian and Samantha Ronson made the final guest list, a source close to Hilton tells Us that the 29-year-old socialite “isn’t dwelling on it too much.”

“She and Nicole aren’t close anymore, but there are no hard feelings there,” the insider explains. “They just grew up and apart.” – US Weekly

[Sources linked in text]

Khloe Kardashian was at Nicole’s wedding, but Paris wasn’t there for whatever reason. I tend to believe US Weekly over E!, where the account sounds straight from Paris’ camp. This isn’t just about two friends who had a falling out. This also signifies Paris’ place on the Hollywood hierarchy. If Paris was still relevant, she would have scored an invitation to Nicole’s wedding regardless of the current state of their friendship or whether or not she used to date the groom’s brother. As it is, she doesn’t rate an invite while Khloe Kardashian does. Burn.

Look at Paris below in her Pepto Pink Bentley with Brooke Mueller on December 1. Does Paris look ok to drive here, or coked out of her mind?

Not really! I just saw these photos of some kind of light beam reflecting on her crotch, and in my sicky drug-addled, sleep-deprived mind, I saw The Truth. The Truth is that Paris Hilton is toxic, and her toxicity emanates from the crotch.

Speaking of, there is a new round of rumors that Paris’s on-again boyfriend Cy Waits is planning on proposing. Poor bastard. Cy is the former Wynn Las Vegas employee who was fired after his numb-skull arrest (with Paris) in Las Vegas on drug-possession and DUI charges. There were rumors that Paris and Cy split up shortly after the arrests, but they’ve been back together for a while now, and it wouldn’t surprise me if Toxic Vadge was going to get another ring. According to random sources, “He’s been ring shopping and trying to find the perfect rock to propose to [Paris] with.” Ugh.

A couple of weeks ago, Us Weekly had a big event for something… and some of the most budget celebrities out there came to celebrate. This is how budget it was – Ke$ha was the biggest “name”. When I covered the photos from the event, I included a photo of Brooke Mueller, noting that she was “back on drugs” (my words). Honestly, though, there’s a question in my mind as to whether she was ever really “off” of drugs – while married to Charlie Sheen, she allegedly had a problem with cocaine and crack, and she’s been showing up at various events for months and months looking loaded. Even more recently, Brooke has been partying with Paris Hilton – a really bad sign. So is it surprising that Team Mueller (poor bastards) is trying to keep the lid on everything by denying, denying, denying?

Brooke Mueller, ex-wife of Charlie Sheen, is shooting down Internet reports that she checked into rehab over Thanksgiving weekend.

“I did not go to rehab. The story is ridiculous,” she told UsMagazine.com Saturday night at Dan Tana’s restaurant in L.A. “I am healthy and happy.”

Reports claimed Mueller, who has previously done stints in rehab, was taken to a treatment facility Thanksgiving morning following wild partying with Paris Hilton, with whom she is currently shooting an Oxygen reality show.

But a source tells Us she is “clean and sober. Everything is going really well for her. She is focusing on the twins and being a good mom. She is really excited about her new show with Paris.”

[From Us Weekly]

I would have to be high beyond belief to hang out with Paris Hilton. So the idea that Brooke is partying with Paris while sober upsets me even more than the idea that Brooke is back on the pipe. Of course, I do believe that Brooke is back on the pipe. Her eyes are saying to me “Where can I score?”

Photos courtesy of WENN.

Paris Hilton was firmly seated on the passenger side when her boyfriend, Cy Waits, ran over a female photographer’s leg with his car and left the scene. Waits reportedly gunned the car to get away from a swarm of paparazzi when he hit someone. Radar Online has a video and it doesn’t look like the accident was Waits’ fault, to be honest. He was just lurching his car along trying to get away when he hit the woman. That part is at :45 seconds in.

To be fair he did stop and ask her if she was ok, the woman said “yes” and that’s when he left. Paris later tweeted about how the paparazzi “ruined” her evening. She wrote “Lovely evening with friends and family ruined by aggressive paparazzi. They are literally insane!” Then why did she go to a restaurant where they’re known to frequent? I’m sure her boyfriend ruined more than that woman’s evening when he ran over her damn leg and left the scene.

Hilton and Waits — arrested in Las Vegas just last month — were involved in an alleged hit and run accident outside of swanky Boa restaurant in West Hollywood, CA. on Wednesday night.

Video of the incident clearly shows that Waits was behind the wheel of his Bentley when he ran over the leg of a photographer, only identified as ‘Carol’.

The car was surrounded by paparazzi when an eyewitness says Waits “gunned” the car and hit the woman, who was knocked to the pavement.

The video shows Waits rolled down his window and asked if the pap was OK, to which another photographer responded, “yes” and told him to go.

Waits and Hilton then left the scene of the accident, but then on the video, you can hear someone yelling, “hit and run… hit and run.”

Police were called to the scene and were later seen questioning Waits, and giving him a field sobriety test.

Authorities tell RadarOnline.com that Waits was “detained”, but later released. At this time, no charges have been filed in the case, as police continue to investigate.

Paramedics were also called to the scene of the accident, and they transported the woman to the hospital for treatment for a cut on her right shin.

[From Radar Online]

I was ready to condemn Waits for this, but it looks like it could have been a mistake if you watch the videos on Radar and TMZ. I guess he turned right unexpectedly, but it didn’t look to me like he was gunning the car or was deliberately trying to hit someone as a paparazzo claims afterwards in that video on Radar. He was driving the car slow and lurching along, not gunning it. The photographers were surrounding it and harassing him and Paris. I hate that I’m defending either one of them, but it’s not like they were trying to hurt anyone and it didn’t look to me like the guy was driving recklessly. He should have stayed there and waited for cops, but he did return afterwards at least. And I was hoping Paris was driving and would get sent to jail. Maybe that will happen next month, as in October.

Paris is shown out on 9/29. Credit: Fame

Paris Hilton has settled a 2007 lawsuit against Hallmark for using her image and trademarked “that’s hot” phrase without proper licensing. The birthday card, shown here, featured Paris’ head on a cartoon body on the outside and a cartoon image of her clutching a chihuahua behind bars on the inside. Paris went to jail in June, 2007. She trademarked her “that’s hot” phrase in February of that year, and her suit maintained that Hallmark “wrongfully utilized [her] name and identity and, therefore damaging her rights of privacy and publicity, her exclusive property rights and her personal rights in and to the use of her name and likeness.”

In other words, Hallmark made a card of Paris back when she was actually hot following her high profile jail stint and failed to pay her for it. They finally settled with her for an undisclosed sum. Here’s E! Online’s report:

Call it a hallmark decision for Paris Hilton.

The celebutante has resolved a lawsuit filed against the folks at Hallmark claiming the greeting-card company violated her privacy and publicity rights by using likeness and “That’s Hot” signature line without her permission.

Terms of the settlement were not disclosed but Hilton had asked for at least $500,000 in damages.

Hallmark had contended the card was a parody protected under the First Amendment and fair-use laws, but that argument was shot down by a federal appeals court, paving the way for a December trial.

And on the bright side for Paris, any news not involving her cocaine bust has to be good, right?

[From E! Online]

I don’t blame Paris for suing Hallmark and this was an infringement on her right to make money by slapping her name on everything from cheap weaves to shoddy clothing. This really reminds me of three years ago when she went to jail and we used to talk about her several times a week. At one point we called a moratorium on Paris, Britney and Lohan stories, calling ourselves LohitneyParis free for the first week of July, 2007. Now we only talk about these fools when they get in serious trouble. Is it any wonder that 2 out of 3 of them have been in jail at this point? Britney may have been involuntarily hospitalized but at least she’s avoided getting a DUI.

Images via The Smoking Gun.