In a new interview in Parade Magazine, Paris Hilton reveals her life strategies for feeling sexy, and says that the rumors that she’s set to play as lesbian on the television show “The L Word” are actually true. All those stories about how Paris is a party girl just aren’t accurate, she says, and she manages to handle the stress of it all and remain gracious by relying on the fine manners her non-slutty mother, Kathy, taught her. If you’re down about yourself and want to feel better, “just get a makeover” Paris says, as if we all have a team of hairstylists, makeup artists, designers and tanning spray-guys clamoring to make each of us the most plastic and orange we can possibly be.

You’ve sometimes been called a diva, but I have never once seen you be rude to anyone.

“That was definitely the way that we were raised by my mom. She always taught us to be polite. We had the best manners, so I’ve kept them.”

Any other “mom advice” you still carry with you?

“‘Put your shoulders back and don’t chew gum.’”

“My mom has always been really supportive. She’s one of my best friends. And she’s just always told me to stay the same and stay the sweet girl I’ve always been since I was little and not let any of the Hollywood stuff get to my head, and you’ll leave a good karma…”

The media seem preoccupied with the “Hollywood bad girls,” and often your name is on that list. Is that unfair?

“Yeah, you know, that’s just a stereotype they’ve come up with. And that’s fine, but I’m not a bad girl [laughs].”

We’ve even seen you under pressure during some stressful times. How do you keep the day-to-day attention from getting to you?

“I handle it really well. I don’t let that bother me or let the media or paparazzi take over my life. I try not to pay attention to things that are negative…”

Every woman has an ugly day. Do you?

“I think we’re humans. All girls feel like a “nottie” some days—like someone who isn’t turning heads. That’s just part of life. I just get a facial or a massage. Pampering yourself gets you back into “hottie”-ness…”

Not everyone can be a “hottie,” but can they still find something in themselves to feel good about?

“Definitely. I think that’s what life is about. You only live once, and you want to make it as best a life you can have. And I feel like, if people are confident and believe in themselves, that they can all be “hotties.”

“If you’re single and you want to go dating and have fun and be young and whatever, just go and get a makeover.”

[From Parade.com]

When asked if she’d rather be rich or famous, Paris said “rich, because then… you can just have everything you want and not have to deal with the press and people following you,” but conceded that she has both and that “It doesn’t even make any difference. I could be happy if I had nothing.”

Here’s Paris at the LA premiere of The Hottie and The Nottie last night. It definitely looks like she was cast in the wrong role when you check out her gorgeous costar Christine Lakin. Here’s the trailer, it actually looks mildly funny. The film isin limited release in the US starting February 8.

Thnks to PRPhotos for these pictures from the premiere.

Paris Hilton has been photographed kissing women in the past, but recently, she has really stepped up her fake lesbian game– she’s been seen kissing galpals Elisha Cuthbert and Brittney Gastineau just this month. Sources say her foray into gayness might be part of her agenda to land a role on the hit Showtime series, “The L Word.” It’s a steamy, soap-opera style drama about beautiful lesbians living in Los Angeles, and Paris sees it as a way to legitimize her acting career.

Following her makeout session with Elisha Cuthbert, Paris Hilton will appear in an episode of the Showtime lesbian drama The L Word.

“Once the strike is over, we are going to start talks, but I am definitely shooting it,” she told Usmagazine.com at the L.A. premiere of her comedy, The Hottie and the Nottie.

So will she play gay for pay?

“I don’t know yet,” she said.

For now, Hilton is content being an actress, but she told Us she is open to directing.

“Maybe one day, but right now I just like being in front of the camera,” she said.

[From US Weekly]

I’m not sure how to feel about this. I love “The L Word,” and I don’t want Paris and her dreadful acting contaminating it. I mean, have you seen “House of Wax?” Hopefully, this will be a one-time deal; a simple case of stunt casting in which Paris plays herself. There is a character on the show who is currently in jail– if the writers have a sense of humor, having Paris involved in that storyline could be good for a few laughs.

On the other hand, at least Paris is publicity-whoring for a reason this time, instead of just wanting attention. That’s progress for her, right?

Picture note by Celebitchy: Paris is shown with her costar Christina Lakin at the Hottie & the Nottie premiere last night. Unfortunately MSat and I didn’t coordinate our stories and there’s another Paris story coming up that I wrote.

Pizza Hut has asked Paris Hilton and her hookup of convenience, Swedish pizza delivery boy and soon-to-be male model Alex Vaggo, to shill for them. They want to create a Super Bowl commercial where Paris plays herself and Vaggo is the hot pizza boy who satisfies two of her cravings in one visit to her mansion:

Paris Hilton might be getting a special role for her real-life pizza-delivery-boy beau, Alex Vaggo. Pizza Hut has asked the heiress to star in a Super Bowl ad with her latest boy toy, a source tells Star. In the ad, which Paris is still negotiating, Alex drops off Pizza Hut’s newest dish to Paris’ mansion, and they fall in love. Talk about art imitating life!

[From Star Magazine, print edition, December 24, 2007]

This sounds similar to the German commercial where Paris gets bread delivered after looking up the number on the Internet, because she doesn’t want to put on clothes and walk down to the corner to the bakery. The delivery guy is kind of surprised to see her answer the door in her underwear. Here’s that bread commercial:

Vaggo was working as a pizza boy in Gothenberg, Sweden, to earn his fare to America and was staying in a youth hostel in LA when he caught Paris’ eye. She was said to be trying to get him a job as a model, and he may get quite a chance at exposure with this Pizza Hut commercial. The guy is super hot and while some question his mental capacity and sanity at getting involved with Paris, he hasn’t been out with her constantly and could be trying to keep his distance. Paris has since had another fling with Stavros so she’s probably not serious with Vaggo anyway.

Paris and Alex are shown out on 11/28/07 when Paris brought Alex to dinner with her family. Paris started a full-on campaign to get Stavros back right afterwards so I would bet that Alex told her he wanted to take things slow after she brought him to meet her family. Thanks to Splash News for this picture.

Sometimes you read a story that just really, really makes sense. And pretty much any story that mentions both Paris Hilton and Oompa-Loompas is going to fall under that heading. We all know that Paris is one of those people that just likes to help others. She’s just the type that has to save everyone and everything. Whether donating her time and money to charitable causes or rescuing kittens that have fallen down wells, Paris is there when you need her. And thank God for that, because it turns out an Oompa-Loompa in need is a friend indeed. And Paris being a good friend, was there for her Oompa-Loompa.

Paris Hilton was at the center of a bizarre nightclub incident when she comforted an entertainer in an Oompa-Loompa costume injured when the crowd rushed the stage. The heiress was among those at Cameo nightclub in Miami early Saturday morning at an event sponsored by Ariva smokeless tobacco, featuring a performance of Jeff Beacher’s Madhouse with three Oompa-Loompa characters in orange makeup and green hair.

Suddenly, people rushed the stage, injuring Oompa-Loompa performer Robin Sherwood, whose leg was badly cut. Hilton, coincidentally, is friends with Sherwood and had visited him earlier in the day during rehearsals. Sherwood is in dire need a kidney transplant and Hilton, her sister Nicky Hilton and her boyfriend David Katzenberg have supported a foundation to facilitate the operation.

“I was with Paris,” says lawyer Mike Heller of Talent Resources, who booked the event. “Paris stayed back at the event when she heard that he was injured, to make sure he was okay. She was very concerned with his health. She didn’t leave until she knew that he was okay.” A Cameo source adds: “Yes, Paris Hilton stayed with him until an ambulance came to take care of him. … Paris was great, she was there until he was turned over to the medical technicians.” Sherwood received stitches at the hospital and was released.

[From People]

What they didn’t tell you was that Paris sewed the stitches herself – from locks of her own golden hair! It sounds over-dramatic, but it’s a well-known fact that Paris Hilton will lay down her life for anyone with an orange face. Why do you think her real friends are all tanorexics? The best part of this story is that Paris wasn’t too humbled and/or embarrassed to phone her publicist, who I’m guessing has People on speed-dial. Her charitable nature took a bit of a hit when everyone found out she wasn’t going to Africa to feed starving orphans after all… but if this can’t patch her image right up, nothing can.

Picture note by Celebitchy: Paris Hilton is shown out to dinner to Miami on 12/10/07, thanks to Splash News. The header image is of course a bad Photoshop cut ‘n paste. Don’t mock my skills because it’s not like I have a lot of time to work on these masterpieces.

I think I’m starting to have a better understanding as to how and why Paris Hilton is the way she is. A lovely tidbit of gossip has just popped up, from a highly reputable source: the cowboy from the Village People, aka Randy Jones. Jones tells an interesting story of meeting Rick and Kathy Hilton at Studio 54 in 1977. For you youngins out there, Studio 54 was a famous New York City nightclub in the late seventies through the early eighties. Go rent the movie, totally worth it for the music alone. Though sadly, Rick and Kathy Hilton aren’t in the film. They probably wouldn’t have wanted anyone to know they snorted blow off the dirty floor. At least put it on some Waterford first. The Hiltons are classy people.

The “‘Y.M.C.A.” singer claims he shared a table with hotel moguls Rick and Kathy Hilton at New York’s famous Studio 54 club in 1977, where they indulged in some recreational drug taking.

Jones told the New York Daily News newspaper, “There was one rock of cocaine left, and it rolled off the table. They just didn’t even bother bringing it back up to a hard surface - they just crushed it into the carpet and snorted it off that. Whatever Paris Hilton is, she came by it honestly.”

Paris’ parents vehemently deny the incident ever took place.

Rick said, “Never happened. We didn’t move to the city until 1979.”

[From All Headline News]

Not to blow a hole (so to speak) in your alibi, Rick Hilton, but you don’t actually have to be a full-time resident of New York City in order to go to Studio 54 and snort some cocaine. I’m pretty sure they let the outsiders snort too. Though that does raise some suspicions as to WHY you moved to New York. We obviously hear a lot of gossip here, and you take it all with a grain of salt. But after a while, you can kind of tell when things have at least the possibility of truth. And such a lame excuse as to why they didn’t do cocaine (“we didn’t live there”) is ridiculous. Look, I can fly down to Los Angeles, rent a car, and run over a squirrel tomorrow. Someone could then come along a few years later and say that I ran over a squirrel in L.A. in 2007. If my only reason why I didn’t do that was to say, “That’s impossible, I didn’t live in Los Angeles in 2007…” well that’d be some pretty back asswards logic, don’t you think? But I might be giving Rick Hilton too much credit. He is genetically related to Paris Hilton, thus there’s a chance he’s simply not that smart and doesn’t realize what a shitty argument he just made. Or maybe he’s all kooky from the blow. Who’s to say?

Paris Hilton has been working on the rock musical film “Repo: The Genetic Opera” in Canada, where she ran into some trouble after she demanded that management at an adult video store in Toronto remove posters advertising her “One Night in Paris” film. “Repo” wasn’t the only venue where Paris wanted to exhibit her breathy vocals, which will be gracing airwaves less frequently after she was dropped by her record label.

Although Paris can arguably sing well enough after her voice is remastered, she apparently can’t do much more than pole dance. Paris auditioned for a role in the Broadway version of Chicago, the play in which Ashlee Simpson graced the stage as Roxie Hart in London last fall. Producers invited her to audition for a possible role as Roxie or Velma, and had to pass because she couldn’t dance at all:

Paris Hilton just flopped a dance audition for “Chicago” because “she simply can’t move,” says choreographers. The show’s producers often invite movie and/or TV stars to take over major roles… and Paris aimed to shine as either Roxie or Velma… But when choreographers taught her simple dance moves, Paris was “too stiff” for anything beyond her trademark nightclub booty-shakin’, said an insider, who added “It didn’t help telling producers she ‘knew nothing’ about their show because she ‘hardly ever’ goes to the theater.”

[From The National Enquirer, print edition, Mike Walker's column, November 19, 2007]

So not only can Paris not dance, she also failed to do the basic research for the role. It’s not like she even had to read because she could have just rented the movie!

Paris is currently doing the promotional tour for her super-cheap looking perfume, Can Can. She will appear at Macy’s at the Roosevelt Field Mall in Garden City, NY tomorrow at 6:00 pm. The moral of this story is that Paris should stick to what she does best - marketing cheap shit with her name on it.

Here’s Paris at a press conference for FILA on 10/11/07 to promote her new collaboration with the sports clothing line. Thanks to WENN for these photos.

When we first heard that Paris Hilton was suing Hallmark for using her image on a greeting card, we thought they’d settle out of court. Paris feels that Hallmark have used her identity for commercial purposes and falsely represented her, and violated trademark. Paris registered her trademark phrase ‘That’s hot’ on February 13th of this year.

They’ll probably have to pay damages (the amount being claimed is unspecified), but they aren’t going to go down without a fight. In what I consider to be perhaps the best worded legal motion in history, they’ve responded to Paris’ suit with a motion to dismiss.

The motion says, “Hilton has become a household name, based in large part on her efforts to draw attention to herself. Having done so, she has subjected herself to public scrutiny and the parodist’s pen. The First Amendment does not allow her to respond by welcoming the fawning and flattering, but silencing the critical and comical.”

A Hallmark spokeswoman added this in a statement to news agencies.

“Some of Hallmark’s new humor greeting cards are parodies of today’s most popular celebrities and politicians,” said Hallmark spokeswoman Julie O’Dell in an e-mailed statement.

“These cards take a satirical look at news and gossip surrounding these public figures, including Paris Hilton, and we do not believe Hallmark has violated any of Ms. Hilton’s rights.”

Fox News

I guess what Paris is trying to say is that it’s not okay to use her image in cards to sell them, unless she’s profiting from it directly.

The good news is that Paris does use her powers for good - The Sun newspaper is reporting that Paris will be fronting a campaign to help drunk elephants. Apparently the elephants get into Indian rice farmers rice beer fermentation vats and injure themselves when intoxicated. No, I’m not making this up. Paris says, rather sensibly, that “It is becoming really dangerous. We need to stop making alcohol available to them.”

Note by Celebitchy: I doubt the drunk elephants story is true. Here is Paris in South Korea at the airport on 11/7/07. She was there to film a FILA commercial. Thanks to WENN for these pictures.

Paris Hilton just keeps getting better and better. The woman who managed to become famous for doing absolutely nothing is now getting a record-setting amount for it: $1 million to show up and party at LAX on New Year’s Eve. An “insider” (I wonder who that could be?) told In Touch: “Paris is receiving the biggest payday ever for a one-night appearance in Vegas. Nobody draws a crowd like she does.” Yeah well the lady with the beard and the guy with four legs draw a pretty good crowd at the carnival, but that doesn’t mean it’s anything to be respected for.

Paris Hilton has replaced former pal Lindsay Lohan as Las Vegas nightclub LAX’s New Year’s Eve good time girl - for a whopping US$1m (€680,000). The socialite will end a tough year, which saw her spending time behind bars, and ring in 2008 with sister Nicky.

And sources tell ‘In Touch Weekly’ the 26-year-old heiress is being offered a cool $1m (€680,000) to play hostess. Being paid to show her face is nothing new to Hilton - she reportedly earned more than US$2m (€1.4m) just for sitting in the front row at designer Kira Plastinina’s fashion show in Russia on Monday.

Lohan was initially billed to host the LAX party, but she pulled out earlier this week citing post-rehab sobriety concerns.

[From Ireland Online]

As ridiculous as it is that Paris gets paid $1 million just to show her Picasso-looking face at a party, it’s even funnier to think that Lohan won’t show up to something because of “sobriety concerns.” Her publicist stated: “She is currently focusing on her work and sobriety.” Also known as, “She knows everyone will be watching her and she can’t stand to be around other people who get to drink if she can’t.” I would say that it’s good Lohan isn’t tempting herself, except that there have been several reports of her going to bars and trying to get drinks with friends. So it seems less like she’s focusing on her sobriety and more like she’s focusing on looking like she’s focusing on her sobriety. Maybe she’ll get that much-coveted Oscar after all. Can you win one for acting in your real life?

Picture note by Jaybird: Here’s Paris hosting ‘A Very Sexy Halloween’ at LAX Nightclub Las Vegas. She’s there so much I bet they’ve named a suite after her. Or at least a bed. Images thanks to PR Photos.

TMZ has the video of Paris Hilton in a skeleton costume at that adult video store in Toronto telling befuddled management that she wants the posters advertising her “One Night in Paris” sex tape removed. JayBird reported on this on Monday, and store owners said at the time they were working out deals to sell the footage.

Initial reports just said that Paris demanded that the posters be removed, but TMZ hyped it when they released this clip, saying “Paris goes postal.” It’s more like “Paris gets mildly pissed,” because her flat affect barely registers the ripples from her supposed anger at seeing her face in a porn store. Toward the end of the clip you can hear her yelling “I want it now” from off camera but if you pay attention to how she sounds rather than what she’s saying it’s more like she’s annoyed because someone put turkey on her salad when she asked for chicken.

Here’s what Paris says in the tape below. There are two guys working behind the counter, and while you can hear Paris clearly it’s hard to tell what they’re saying. One of them seems like he’s calling their boss and saying “Paris Hilton, yes that was…”

Paris says clearly and firmly, but without her voice breaking or getting too loud:

You can’t use my image in a porn store
Want me to call my lawyer and sue the shit out of this place if you don’t take them down?

I really want them down, because they’re mean and this is not right. I’m really furious. This is disgusting. And I want the other one, now, or I’m calling the f’ing cops.

[Transcribed from the video available at TMZ]

I kind of admire a girl who can get so angry she rips stuff off the wall without really screaming or breaking a sweat. It seems like not being able to express extreme emotion should be a disadvantage for someone who aspires to some sort of B-movie career, but Paris makes it work. She flits all over the place, showing up at events and openings several times a week, always looking calm and composed. It’s only when she’s really upset that her milktoast voice betrays her. She has to resort to breaking stuff to get her point across, because when Paris said “I’m hurt bad,” it’s hard to tell if she broke a nail or a toe.

Thanks to TMZ for this video of the incident. Paris just kind of wanders around, rooting through her purse and trying to muster up courage until about one minute in.

Header image is thanks to PR Photos.

Paris Hilton does some pretty dumb things – listing them would take way more time than I have to write or you have to read. So let’s just agree that Paris Hilton is a moron, shake on it, and move on. She’s been in Toronto off and on for the last few months shooting “Repo: The Genetic Opera.” No I’m not joking even a little bit about the title, that is absolutely what it’s called and Paris is in it. While there, she apparently hit up an adult video store – cleverly trying to hide her face by donning a Halloween mask. And then demanding that the employees remove posters promoting her infamous home sex tape “One Night in Paris.” Yeah, very smart, because I’m sure some random chic with a Nixon mask would do that, so what in the world would make them think it’s Paris?

Employees at a Toronto adult video store allege they had a run-in with Hollywood starlet Paris Hilton.

The hotel heiress, who’s in town filming a movie, reportedly walked into the shop (pictured) Wednesday wearing a Halloween mask as a disguise and demanded that posters promoting her infamous sex tape be taken down.

Employees claim that a woman’s voice heard on a store surveillance video threatening to call her lawyer and police is Hilton’s.

Workers also said a man identifying himself as the socialite’s manager came in later telling them to keep the incident quiet threatening legal action.

The owners of the store claim they’re negotiating with two American tabloid entertainment shows to acquire the rights to the footage.

[From CityNews]

I really hope they sell the footage. Paris is stupid, but sending her manager in after her? That’s what’s really stupid. If she hadn’t done that, she could always claim it was someone else. She does have a pretty distinct voice and speech pattern (you know, where it kind of sounds like each of her words are bouncing on vacant little clouds) but still – no face, no I.D. But if you send in your manager who identifies himself and you and then threatens to sue the good people of XXX Discount Video over something bad that you did, that’s a new level of stupid for both you and said manager. I’m going to go rent a giant hot air balloon and drop copies of your video all over the greater Tri-state region as soon as I’m done here. But I’ll be wearing a mask too, so you won’t know for sure that it’s me.

Picture note by Jaybird: Here’s Paris at Spike TV’s “Scream 2007″ Awards where she introduced a clip from “Repo” and was booed by the audience. Images thanks to PR Photos.