Heterosexuality worldwide got a real boost when Ana Beatriz Barros, Veronica Varekova, Bar Refaeli, and Marisa Miller all showed up for the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue 2007 Launch party. Such Mega hotness in one room caused several beta males in the general area to dissolve into sad little puddles of wish fufillment.

Hollywood Tuna had the pictorial scoop …. I do not have the thousand words that these pictures equal. Have at it boys:

One of Britney’s main points in her message to fans on her tiger-themed website was the fact that she hadn’t celebrated her birthday in two years. Mike Walker of The National Enquirer notes that Britney did have huge birthday blowouts the last two years that were well publicized. Britney, better get your facts straight before you try and make a worthless point:

On your Web site, you defend your insane headbanging - pre/post/and during your 25th birthday - by wah-waaah-ing: “It’s been so long since I’ve been out on the town…it’s also been two years since I’ve even celebrated my birthday!” LIAR! The press reported that you whooped it up big-time on your 24th birthday at LA club LAX, “dancing into the wee hours with friends” - and a photo showed you there! On your 23rd birthday, Ms. Pinocchi-a, you staged a major blowout that made worldwide headlines - boogie-ing at LA club Concorde with hubby KEVIN FEDERLINE (remember him?). Then the two of you checked into the posh Bacara Spa and Hotel in Santa Barbara and hung out the “Do Not Disturb” sign for a long weekend that was described as a “48-hour sex marathon.” Too bad you fired your ace Hollywood PR firm, Britney. They’d have warned you against publishing such amateur-ish lies!

I guess that depends on what your definition of “celebrating” is, because if you do it with your ex, it doesn’t count.

The paparazzi websites don’t have new pictures up of Britney yet, so it’s possible she stayed home last night. It’s more likely that her stock is dropping since the market is flooded with pictures of her.

Here are two more pictures of Britney after the Lakers game from FlynetOnline.

Beyonce and Jay-Z are not getting married this weekend in a lavish ceremony on the island of Anguila, as we reported earlier. It was supposed to be a surprise ceremony to follow Jay-Z’a 37th birthday party, but the party is finished now and their reps say there’s not going to be a wedding:

The New York Post trumpeted on Tuesday that the star couple were bound for a “rap wedding” disguised as a 37th-birthday party. The paper said that after boarding “a yacht in St. Barts,” the guests “will also be ferried over to Anguilla for the wedding at Cap Juluca.”

The couple actually won’t be anywhere near Anguilla, our sources vouch. What’s more, they’re already back from the birthday party.

Here’s what really happened:

Monday night, right after Beyoncé walked the red carpet at the New York premiere of “Dreamgirls,” she shanghaied her unsuspecting rap-star boyfriend to an airport where she’d chartered two customized 757s. (One had a 20-seat movie theater.)

Waiting were about 20 of their closest friends, including Beyoncé’s Destiny’s Child sista Kelly Rowland and music and marketing honchos like Lyor Cohen, Steve Stoute and Kevin Lyles.

After an in-flight feast prepared by two chefs, the gang touched down in St. Martin, where everyone boarded a 270-foot yacht.

For the next two days, Jay and his friends did the biggest of pimpin’. Two helicopters were on standby, and the lobster and Champagne - Jay-Z’s own Ace of Spades vintage - flowed. There was swimming, snorkeling and even a four-man minisub to take guests on deep-sea explorations.

“The party must have cost $1 million a day,” estimates one source.

The revelers finally returned yesterday morning. Jay stopped off in Miami for the Art Basel fest, where he was said to be considering a $7 million painting.

That must have been some party. Everyone was speculating that Beyonce was motivated to have a wedding by the fact that she’s being upstaged by Jennifer Hudson’s role in their firlm “Dreamgirls.” Now it’s said that producers are gunning for Beyonce, not Hudson, to be nominated for an Oscar.

Meanwhile that document that we published from MediaTakeOut that claims that Beyonce is 32, not 25, seems to have been altered. Reader betsy found that another person on the list was born in 1981 according to Texas Birth Records, available online. We were able to verify online through an ancestry site that Beyonce is listed as being born in 1981, not 1974.

Header image is from this spring and was found at Haute Gossip.

It turns out that rumor that the head of Scientology accompanied Tom and Katie on their honeymoon in the Maldives was untrue, because the Scientologists denied it and we should just take them at their word. Now there’s news that Tom and Katie are going to follow up their second wedding party with yet another honeymoon. Their first honeymoon on a tugboat yacht was cut short due to bad weather. This time they’re said to be going alone to Tahiti and leaving little Suri at home.

Tom & Katie are indeed planning a second honeymoon for the two of them only … Suri will stay with the family in the US as they head to a romantic & exotic location.
Rumor has it that the couple have booked a holiday in Tahiti, at the $15000 a night Le Taha’a Private Island and Spa.
Hmm … This will definitely be a real honeymoon!

I’m not sure this is true, because they were initially said to be going to Tahiti on their honeymoon, and only a few sources are reporting that they’re planning a second honeymoon there. They were in Tahiti back in February when Katie was pregnant.

Their stateside wedding party will take place this Saturday at the malibu estate of Tom’s business partner. Tom, Katie, Victoria Backham, J.Lo and Marc Anthony were seen out to dinner at a steakhouse last night in what looked like a second-wedding party rehearsal dinner. Pictures from Gossip Rocks.

See this dress Laura Bush is wearing in this official White House Holiday photo? It’s by Oscar de la Renta and costs $8,500 freakin’ dollars. You’d think if you were going to spend that much money on a haute couture dress and wear it to an official event, you would make sure it was an original, right? So nobody else would be wearing the same dress as the Queen of the Free World?

Well, it seems Mrs. Bush didn’t have someone do that for her and ended up wearing this dress not only for the official White House Holiday photo, but also to a celebrity studded party for fat cats at the White House. Imagine her surprise when she discovered that three other women were wearing the exact same dress! Oh, the horrors!

Letitia Baldridge, Jacqueline Kennedy’s Chief of Staff and White House social secretary says the gown was beautiful, but triple the trouble was quite the mess.

“They all should have congratulated one another on their good taste and the fact that they could afford the dress,” Baldridge says. “Jacqueline Kennedy, when she was first lady made sure, and her couturiers made sure that nobody else wore that dress that season. “

Oh please, Laura Bush is no Jacqueline Kennedy. That’s like comparing apples to oranges. But Laura did try to rectify the situation by running upstairs and changing into another gown. The other three ladies who had the same dress on didn’t have that option, and for the remainder of the night, tried to stay as far away from each other as they possibly could.

White House Holiday photo via The White House

Thanks to the excellent snarky blog Rhymes with Snitch for this story I haven’t seen anywhere else. The night Paris Hilton flashed her ass in a too-short dress while dancing on a table at Janet Jackson’s birthday party at Tao (despite the fact that she claims to never dance on tables and there are even more recent pictures to the contrary,) she decided to serenade everyone at 3 AM with a drunken “Stars are Blind.”

Janet was understandably outraged and got the hell out of there immediately, taking 30 of her friends with her:

Paris often sings her own songs badly while wasted out at clubs, and she probably had no clue that she was doing anything wrong by warbling at an established pop artist’s joint birthday party and CD celebration.

Despite news that Janet Jackson’s new album is relatively tanking on the charts and may help sink her boyfriend Jermaine Dupri’s career at Virgin Records, she shopped for a $30 million dollar apartment in Manhattan last week, and claimed that Jermaine needed a huge closet because he has more shoes than she does.

Meanwhile Paris is still considered a scourge on the entertainment industry. Meatloaf has joined Jenny McCarthy in claiming that he plans to haunt Paris Hilton after he dies. And predictably, Paris was voted the top overexposed celebrity that people want to see less of. With that news, here are absolutely no pictures of Paris.

Katie Holmes and Kate Bosworth were photographed with ornery old fashion icon Karl Lagerfeld at his VIP party at Paris Fashion week on 10/6. Kate Bosworth is the perfect clothes rack, and Katie Holmes looks like she’s shrugged off the religious brainwashing in favor of the soothing balm of consumerism.

Katie was seen shopping for shoes and purses at Christian Louboutin earlier that day, and even looked at a frilly pink coat for little Suri. Speaking of little Suri, she hasn’t been seen outside the house at any point during her supposed six months on this earth. Nary a baby carriage, carrier or accessory has been photographed, and although we have that great spread in Vanity Fair it seems a bit thin considering there’s no candid evidence of the tyke apart from those creepy helicopter pictures that came out. Yes, I always mention this, but isn’t it a bit suspect? Work with me on this.

Katie is in Paris with Victoria Beckham, and has been seen out on the town with her in various fashion-forward outfits.

While Katie’s away there are soccer moms trying to get newly-chub Tom Cruise to play. X17 shows evidence of a blonde hottie flirting with Tom at one of Isabella’s soccer games and touching his arm.

Beyonce and Gwyneth are new BFFs, and hung out together and partied in London for Gwyneth’s 34th birthday. They shopped, went to dinner, saw Jay-Z perform, and then hit a club afterwards. Gwyneth’s husband Chris Martin even joined Jay-Z on stage during his performance at Royal Albert Hall while Gwyneth let loose and sung backup.

[from Beyonceworld.net]

London’s The Mirror said that Beyonce and Gwyneth talked about music and babies at the after party, but they’re making that shit up and running a story based on the photographs:

They all obviously had a great time and enjoyed themselves on Gwyneth’s birthday.

Thanks to BeyonceWorld.net for these pictures.

Update: Jay-Z was the first hip hop artist to headline at Albert Hall. He will play Paris tonight and Milan tomorrow.

“Lightweight” in the image caption above is not a literal reference to either Beyonce or Gwyneth’s weight, and just refers to the fact that Beyonce is visibly drunk in the pictures, while Gwyneth just looks tipsy.

There’s plenty of news of A C-Listers getting shut out of events this morning. Like Paris Hilton, The Olsen Twins were turned away at the door. Unlike Paris Hilton, they were invited to the party but simply failed to RSVP:

The party probably sucked anyway. The French aren’t known for their hospitality, and I’m speaking from personal experience here.

Maybe they weren’t let in because summer is barely over and Mary-Kate was wearing fur. Is it just me, or does Ashley look like she had some bad work done on her face?

Here they are at the Balenciaga Paris Launch in New York recently. [via]

Paris Hilton and her fuck buddy Brandon Davis got shut out of NY club Bungalow 8 after the VMAs last week, but so did Diddy. The reason seems to have had more to do with the fire code than Paris not being welcome.

Paris was famously barred from Vanity Fair parties at the Cannes film festival and after the Oscars. Editor Graydon Carter has said that “Paris… will never attend one of the parties I host.”

Now she’s been shut out of another club just for being, well, Paris:

Maybe she should stay home once in awhile and work on her poses. After she got busted for DUI last week and Richard Branson tricked her into dressing like the help, she should cut her losses and try to reinvent herself. Paris never seemed like one to take a hint, though.

The NY Daily News reports that Paris’ gang acted like a bunch of high-schoolers at a party Saturday night. It’s not surprising since Paris never finished high school and had to settle for a GED:

Here she is on September 10th at the Rosa Cha Spring after party. [via]