As you may remember, I watch The Millionaire Matchmaker. I don’t consider it a good show or anything, and it’s not like I wait around to watch new episodes or anything, but if Bravo is showing a marathon, I’ll totally get caught up in it and end up watching several episodes in a row. My take on Patti Stanger is that she’s not the best matchmaker, AT ALL, but she is the queen of conventional dating wisdom, stereotyping, temper tantrums and drama. In Patti’s defense, most of the dudes who hire her are pretty awful people, and they haven’t “found love” because they’re just terrible, the end. Patti does what she can, and yes, I’m defending her a little bit. I watch the show because I think the dudes are hilarious – more often than not, they’re rich and middle-aged and they have huge, glaring personality flaws that drive sane, normal women away, which is good news because most of the guys don’t want sane, normal women anyway – most want a 22-year-old stripper who will soothe their damaged, immature ego.

So, with that caveat in place, here’s the latest Patti-controversy. A few nights ago she was on Bravo’s Watch What Happens Live, with host Andy Cohen. This show is notorious for getting the guests sauced up, but I’m not sure if liquor was the problem here. Throughout the evening, Patti made some comments that have upset… well, they’ve upset almost everybody. Here are some video clips of the most awful comments (courtesy of Gawker’s Matt Cherette):

Tough love or total bigotry? Millionaire Matchmaker’s Patti Stanger appears to be practicing the latter. On Sunday night’s premiere of Watch What Happens Live with Andy Cohen on Bravo, Stanger made sweeping, stereotypical generalizations about gay men looking for love.

When a caller named Dustin asked the reality star what she thought about “open relationships,” she told him: “In the gay world, there’s always going to be open [relationships]. Are you straight or gay?”

He answered gay, to which she said: “Ok, well then you’re ok. There’s Grindr [the online site that connects gay/bisexual men in the same area] for you. Go on Grindr. You’ll have a great time.”

Cohen, 43, looked appalled at Stanger’s remarks. “Hold on,” he said. “So wait, the gays can have open relationships?” (Stanger’s dating policy across the board calls for monogamous relationships only, but this apparently only applies to heterosexual couples.)

“There’s no curbing the gay,” Stanger snapped. “I’ve tried to curb you people and you just don’t [change]. I’ve decided to throw in the towel and just say, ‘Do what you want. But when you find the right person, you will know.’”

When Cohen told Stanger, “I am a gay and I’m down for the monogamy,” she burst out laughing in his face and asked, “When was the last time you had a [serious] boyfriend?” He answered that it’d been six years, and then became “uncomfortable” and moved the conversation along.

When Tyler, a self-proclaimed “gay man from Los Angeles” Skyped in to ask a question about finding “a long-term relationship” and whether he’d have luck outside of the city, Stanger, 50, gave some more offensive advice.

“First of all, you’re very handsome. I thought you were straight,” she said. “That’s a compliment!” (Cohen cocked his head quizzically and made a disgusted face at Stanger’s seemingly bigoted remark.)

“Why is being straight a compliment?” he asked.

“Because he’s not queeny,” Stanger said. “Like you want a queen. Alright, I don’t think so.”

Stanger tweeted Monday: “It’s true. L.A. guys [are] toughest nuts to crack to monogamy,” then added: “Attention male gays: I support you and my comment on [Watch What Happens Live] was to an L.A. guy who can’t find commitment.”

Following intense criticism, Stanger issued a statement to Us Weekly Monday: “I am so sorry. I did not mean to offend anyone with my comments last night on Watch What Happens Live.”

A Bravo spokesperson added that the network “regrets the comments expressed by Patti Stanger on Watch What Happens Live last night. Her comments are not representative of the network’s beliefs and opinions. We apologize for the offense it caused.”

[From Us Weekly]

Okay, if you listen to Patti’s whole argument about open relationships amongst the gays, I don’t think it’s that offensive, it’s just her conventional dating wisdom – she’s saying that gay dudes are always going to be more into “open” relationships, but once they find “the one” that will all disappear. As for her comment that it’s a “compliment” to think that a gay dude appears to be straight… yeah, that one is just dumb. Whatever. She apologized, and you know what you’re getting with Patti.

Photos courtesy of WENN.

I watch The Millionaire Matchmaker. I say that without apologies. It’s a great show. Hilarious, ridiculous, and completely watchable in a trashy way. Now, I don’t watch it, like, as part of my regular television schedule. Like, I’m not waiting for it every week. I always catch it on reruns on the weekend, and I enjoy the hell out of it.

Now, do I think Patti Stanger, the Millionaire Matchmaker, is a good person? No. Do I think she’s talented in her chosen career path? Not really, although I do think she’s pretty good when she’s setting up gay dudes (seriously, she’s pretty gifted when she gets a gay millionaire). BUT – for all of those people who complain about how she’s full of it and how you hate her, just hold up. She is full of it, but she also says a lot of the kind of common-sense dating and relationship advice that some people need. Not all of it – but some of it. Anyway, that’s enough of me defending her.

So Page Six has a piece today about all of Patti’s disgruntled ex-clients, many of whom claim that the show misrepresented who they are in real life. They even have that creepy serial killer douche (David Vroubel) who tried to bully his date into drinking an uncooked bird fetus!

Survivors of “Millionaire Matchmaker” Patti Stanger banded together Tuesday night to watch the season finale of a show that they say ruined their lives. Season 4 contestants told Page Six the mouthy matchmaker’s comments and edits have caused them professional and romantic damage, as they gathered at Hudson Terrace to drown their sorrows.

Long Island divorce lawyer Doug Kepanis, who’s described on the show’s Web site as “a divorce attorney with an ugly bod,” said business has slowed and he was dropped as a legal expert from TruTV because he appeared sexist. “It’s the busiest time of the year for divorces, and I haven’t gotten any calls since my appearance,” Kepanis said. “I have a lot of female clients — it may have turned them away.”

Millionaire Jason Teich, who’s pegged as a “tough-talking, heavy drinking guy from Brooklyn,” said he hasn’t been able to get a date since the show aired. “Producers fed me drinks and then Patti yelled at me for being an alcoholic,” Teich moaned.

David Vroubel said Stanger called him “creepy” eight times, and the episode was edited to make him look socially awkward. “They backed a bus over me and then ran it over again,” he complained. “She said she had a one-in-five success rate — come on, she can’t even get married herself.”

Elegant Affairs caterer Andrea Correale said her character was exaggerated, but it helped her business. But “some of those other guys really got their butts kicked.”

Meanwhile, sources tell us the show’s fifth season, which is about to start filming, will be Stanger’s last because Bravo producers can’t deal with her demands and tantrums.

“She thinks they aren’t giving her the respect she deserves and she’s telling friends that she’s shopping her show to other networks. But Bravo is tired of her antics, insists it owns ‘Millionaire Matchmaker’ and wants to continue the show with a different matchmaker,” a source said.

Stanger could not be reached. A Bravo rep said the network will soon start production on Season 5 with Stanger, but “it is too early to say anything about Season 6.”

[From Page Six]

Uh-oh, this is the last season? Sadness. I guess I’ll have to get into another trashy show. Oh, well. As far as her ex-clients bitching about her… well, I’ve yet to see a millionaire that I would want to spend any time with, at all. They’re all, like, 50-something douches looking for a “young 20-something” blonde to start a family… except every one of them is afraid of commitment! It’s ridiculous.

UPDATE: Patti is pissed! She’s issued a denial about Page Six’s report (above). Patti says: “This is all lies, plus they’re under contract by Bravo. I don’t have control over the edits, I’m not in the editing room, you’re on a show. Look at the Kardashians, what do you think that is? It’s a reality show.” As far as Patti’s alleged “tantrums” go, Patti says: “This story is untrue.” Stanger tells E! News, “with steam practically coming from her ears.” She says that not only does Bravo not have a problem with her, but that Matchmaker is an unmitigated hit. (This week’s season finale had the show’s best ratings ever: 2.2 million viewers.) “I didn’t go anywhere, other networks approached me. I get offers from all different networks and for feature films all the time. I took one feature film.” Patti goes on to lodge specific complaints against certain dudes who were bitching about her and the show – you can read the rest of it here, at E! News.

One last thing – Patti Stanger participated in an article for Esquire Magazine. Esquire had her go through a mystery man’s online dating profile and give her opinions on what the profile said about the man. Her take is very funny – made even more funny when it’s revealed to her that the online dating profile belongs to Julian Assange. Her take on him (before she knew it was Assange):

“This man has been bruised. He’s been burned. You know, he’s got a little bit of an ego and arrogance to him — I’ll give you that. He’s going to deter all good-quality women away — he’s going to attract the diva-drama bitches. That’s what he doesn’t want, so he needs to tweak it. He doesn’t have to say, “Warning, I’m not your regular guy.” That’s a bunch of bullsh-t. If he’s going to be this negative, he deserves a negative chick.”

Okay, this is the most bitter man alive. This man is so bitter. It’s a one-size-fits-all for him; every woman is the same. Now, he might be an international dude, like you said, and he might be British. Usually the British are kind of nasty like this — I wouldn’t give the Scottish and the Irish this, but the British are kind of nasty. [Ed. Note: Assange is Australian.] He’s not your typical I’m a really nice guy, I’m looking for somebody I can grow old with, my mother has to approve of my mate. He’s not that guy. He’s I want someone who’s gone through political turmoil. Who the f-ck says that? I mean, that’s like someone who’s living in his head. You think when the penis does the picking and it gets a stiffy, he thinks about who you voted in the last election?”

He wants a woman who will give him an opinion — but I bet you he’ll hate her opinion. I will bet you he’ll slice her in half when she says what she feels. And he’s going to attract the Russians. The eastern European women are going to flock to him. Flock. And they’re farbissina as we say in the Jewish religion. They’re very miserable, they don’t smile, they’re never happy. So he’ll just keep trying to please them, and… perfect match.”

Oh, so he’s into love-making. He’ll make great love to you then tell you what’s wrong with you. That’s called ‘seducing and reducing.’

“There’s always a trauma — maybe Mommy left Daddy, maybe Mommy cheated on Daddy. Maybe his first-grade love hated his guts. There’s a trauma. He’s a nasty son of a bitch. And you know what? He should get out of this country. Go move to France, they take everyone.”

[From Esquire]

She kind of nailed him, didn’t she? That’s why I watch the show!

Photos courtesy of WENN.

I saw this yesterday, but I kind of thought it was a “meh” story. I mean, who amongst us thought that Millionaire Matchmaker Patti Stanger was the kind of woman who wouldn’t shank a bitch over a v-neck? Anyway, TMZ got their hands on a very poor-quality recording of Patti reading the riot act to her poor stylist. I think the whole thing is about how the stylist – Lauren Solomon – didn’t “bring it” for Patti’s photo shoot for Elle Magazine’s September issue, or an appearance on with an Elle editor. Or something. I can’t find any copy of the audio that we can embed, but if you want to hear Patti’s spectacular sh-t fit, go to TMZ. Here are some of the highlights:

Patti: “Get your f-cking feelings out of this f-cking room or you’re never going to be a stylist. This is your moment of me saying your name on the air. Nobody has ever done that for you.”

Patti: “Why would you have me in f-cking random clothes? This is Elle f-cking magazine! This is the big one! You want to fatten me up,” the reality star allegedly yelled.

Patti: “I want you to understand what you did wrong! Count the f-cking measurement to my f-cking knee! You have to learn these techniques. I can’t do this for you. It’s like when I’m matchmaking somebody – I know exactly what they want!…I don’t wear V-necks because of my boobs!”

I mean… yes, Patti should keep her temper in check, but since I watch The Millionaire Matchmaker, I’ve already seen Patti lose her sh-t before, and I have to say, she usually loses it with good reason. Even though I think her tone is disrespectful, unprofessional and rude, I think her point probably still stands: her stylist wasn’t doing her job, and Patti was pissed. People are already calling this “Christian Bale-esque” (NSFW audio here) but I’m not really seeing it. Patti wasn’t threatening her stylist with bodily harm. Patti was just bitching a woman out for not doing her job correctly.

Also – I want to know what “I don’t wear V-necks because of my boobs” is all about. Patti has great boobs, and as a fellow boobtastic girl, I have to say, I prefer V-necks to crewnecks, even if that means some cleavage. I think V-necks compliment my face more.

Header: Patti on April 13, 2010. Credit: WENN.

Most of the time, I can easily avoid most of Bravo’s cheesy programming – the only Real Housewives series that is “Must See TV” for me was the Atlanta one, the rest I pretty much avoid like the plague. I don’t watch those house-flipping shows (the one with the anal retentive guy), and I also avoid the Top Chefs, just because I know I could easily fall for that show and I don’t want to get addicted – I’ve already got too much programming to keep up with. But my one exception to Bravo’s cheese-tastic Millionaire Matchmaker. My favorite day of the weekend is any Saturday when Bravo runs a marathon of Millionaire Matchmaker. I could sit and watch these foolish, ridiculous (older) men and their desire for young, nubile, dumb girlfriends all day long.

Every now and then, a rare gem of a man comes along and wants a genuine partner, or wants Matchmaker Patti Stanger to find him someone nice and age-appropriate. But most of the time it’s Patti talking to some a–hole in his 40s about how he wants someone “in their early 20s, no older.” Patti usually comes out and tells them that they need to go for someone older, and she usually tells them that they’re an a–hole. She’s honest, and I have a strange affection for her. But I’m not always so sure she knows what she’s doing. And personally, I’ve always wondered why some people aren’t like, “Hey, Patti, you don’t have your love life together, why should you be the one setting me up?”

All of this to say that Patti and her fiancé have split up. Patti tells Life & Style Mag that it was all about babies, and her wanting some and him not so much:

Life & Style can exclusively reveal that Millionaire Matchmaker Patti Stanger has called it quits with her fiancé and boyfriend of six and a half years, Andy Friedman.

“I want a kid now and Andy doesn’t,” Patti tells Life & Style about why she and her longtime beau have decided to go their separate ways. “My dealbreaker has always been kids.”

Patti and Andy, who got engaged on her birthday last year, May 31, 2009, initially set a 2010 wedding date, but continued to push back their plans when Patti couldn’t get Andy to commit to raising a family.

“Ever since our first date, he knew I wanted kids, and then something along the way changed,” says the candid cupid.

“Andy’s a great guy and we’ll always remain friends, but he wants me to be something that I can’t be. We’re better friends than lovers.”

The third generation matchmaker is confident that her real soulmate is just around the corner. “A good guy is out there for me, I know it,” says Patti, who still hopes to be a stepmom or adopt. “A life without kids has no meaning to me. I think the most important job in the world is being a parent or stepparent!”

[From Life & Style]

Matchmakers: just as f-cked up in love as the rest of us! No, I like how honest Patti is and how she was willing to cash out of the wedding fantasy because he wouldn’t agree to be a father. Hey, she could have just gotten pregnant and been like, “You’ll agree to now, won’t you?” Sigh… hopefully Patti will find herself a nice guy.

Millionaire Matchmaker reality star Patti Stanger has some advice for Jennifer Aniston that probably wouldn’t sit well with her if she ever deemed to pay attention. Stanger tells Aniston in the latest edition of The Enquirer that she needs to cut out some of her friends because they’re bad influences when it comes to modeling successful relationships. Neither Sheryl Crow nor Courteney Cox are examples of what Aniston wants to achieve with a mate and they won’t help her find the right guy claims Stanger.

We reported on earlier advice Stanger gave Aniston through the gossip press, telling her that she needed an older successful businessman, someone “high up on the food chain” in his 50s. Stanger repeats that claim and recommends that Aniston avoid Hollywood guys with a couple of exceptions. Jason Statham would make a good match for Aniston according to Stanger, and newly widowed Liam Neeson is another possibility:

Jen’s biggest problem, says Patti, is that she “picks the wrong people.”

So what’s Jen’s first step? Dating detox for 90 days, insists the matchmaker.

Patti also has a long list of dos and don’ts for the 40-year-old former “Friends” star. And topping that list is to cut out some of her closest friends!

Courteney Cox is out because she’s married “to a younger man and has a kid.” Sheryl Crow should go because she’s “single with an adopted kid” – and that’s exactly what Jen should not become, says Patti.

Ex-boyfriend John Mayer needs to get the ax because Jen “needs a real man and not a boy with ADD,” adds Patti.

Patti also has tough words for Jen about the continuing animosity with ex-husband Brad Pitt and his new love, Angelina Jolie.

“Sorry to break the news to her, but Brad and Angelina don’t care, and she needs to realize that she’s not even in the equation,” says Patti.

As for what Jen does need, Pattit’s got a list for that, too.

Jen should be looking for a wealthy businessman, media mogul or sports star – someone who doesn’t need her fame. He should be older, in his late 40s or 50s.

While Patti thinks Jen should consider steering clear of Hollywood types, she believes British “Transporter” star Jason Statham is one of the exceptions. “He is a man, not a boy,” says the matchmaker.

Another possibility, disclosed Patti, would be the TLC channel’s “Take Home Chef” star, Aussie Curtis Stone. Sensitive Irishman Liam Neeson, who recently lost wife Natasha Richardson in a skiing accident, would also be good for Jen.

[From The National Enquirer, print edition, May 4, 2009]

I don’t know about this dating detox. As cheesy as it is, I like the over-simplified advice from John Gray of the “Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus” books. Gray recommends that men and women go against their instincts when jumping back into the dating pool after a relationship ends. He tells men to take their time because they’re more likely to seek out another mate right away and women should date without getting serious as they tend to hiberate after a breakup. Either way, it’s not bad advice to either gender to take some time to yourself and find fulfillment before looking for another partner.

Friends are invaluable and you shouldn’t cut them out of your life because they have different lifestyles than you aspire to. Cox and Crow may not have the best relationships for Aniston to model, but she can find her own path and that’s a crappy reason to dump people who have been there for you for years.

I do agree with Stanger’s advice that Aniston should date a successful non-Hollywood type who is ready to settle down. She needs a guy who doesn’t seek publicity but can handle the media spotlight when necessary. Salma Hayek found love with an industry mogul and maybe Aniston can find a confident, successful man who loves her for who she is and not for what she can do for him. We’re rooting for her, but she needs to keep her friends close. They told her dump Mayer long before she did the deed, after all.

Here’s Jennifer Aniston on the set of The Baster on 4/21/09. Credit: Edward Opinaldo, PacificCoastNews.com. Patti Stanger is shown on 4/13/09. credit: WENN.com

There are very few reality shows that can keep my attention, and all of them are on Bravo. Well, Project Runway used to be on Bravo, but the new season will be on Lifetime, so I’m branching out. I adore Kathy Griffin’s My Life on the D-List, and my newest favorite is Millionaire Matchmaker.

The show is a great combination of sleazy men and woman, authentic dating advice and an interesting clash of personalities. Many people don’t really care for Patti Stanger, the woman who runs the matchmaking service for millionaires, but I think she’s funny. Often I find myself in total agreement with her assessments of the massive tools who are “looking for love”.

So Patti Stanger attended Bravo’s A-List Awards on Sunday, and she talked to Fox News about the person she’d most like to set up on a date – Jennifer Aniston. Patti thinks Aniston is going through “a really tough time.” She also used some of her spooky mind-reading techniques (seriously, sometimes she really can read a douchebag’s mind) on John Mayer, saying “I read her body language all the time and I hated John Mayer for her. I said he’s going to break up with her after the Academy Awards, he’s just using her.”

Bravo held their annual “A List Awards” in Hollywood on Sunday evening and while the honor roll wasn’t exactly top-notch by Hollywood’s elite standards, it was an entertaining entourage of stars and starlets saying whatever they could to make a name for themselves.

So even though “Millionaire Matchmaker” Patti Stanger isn’t quite on the A-list yet herself, the business woman has ambitious plans to work with one.

“Jennifer Aniston could really use my services; she’s going through a really rough time right now. I read her body language all the time and I hated John Mayer for her. I said he’s going to break up with her after the Academy Awards, he’s just using her,” Stanger told Tarts.

“She needs an intervention and I would be there for her and I would keep it on the down-low and nobody would know about it.”

So who does the expert think is “the one” for Ms. Aniston?

“I wouldn’t match her up with Hollywood; I would give her one of my clients who is a businessman on the Forbes list — one of the big people like at Time Warner, someone who’s high up on the food chain. She needs chemistry and sometimes that older guy who’s in his 50′s, he’s refined and maybe been divorced, is going to be the guy.”

Right — and who knows, Jen might even make an appearance on the show to show her gratefulness.

[From Fox News]

I totally agree with Patti’s advice for Aniston, except for the part about needing an older man. I don’t think Jennifer would go for a guy in his fifties, and I really wonder if some mover and shaker that age would go for Aniston. Those kind of guys usually go for the super young trophy wives, in my opinion. My advice would be for Jennifer to go for a non-industry professional her own age, or even a few years younger. But someone serious, who takes life and love and all of it as it comes, rather than some John Mayer-esque epic douchebag.