Russell Brand and Katy Perry have been dating for … I don’t know, maybe three weeks, tops? Or a whole month, if you count the start of the “relationship” a drunken hookup after the VMAs. While it is surprising they’ve lasted this long, they’re now finding themselves the hot new couple. Sort of. I mean, if you think Russell is hot, I suppose, and not dirty-in-a-bad-way. Anyway, Russell and Katy are now being followed everywhere by the paparazzi, and I’m a little surprised it took this long to get a picture of some kind of extreme PDA.

Honestly, though, I don’t even know what I’m looking at. The description of these photos says “Katy Perry and Russell Brand sneak away for some intimate time at a private party in the Hollywood Hills, California.” I think that’s the house (where the party is being held?) behind them. And it looks like Russell is trying to nail Katy on the terrace railing. That would take more concentration and upper-body strength than I have, so God bless. But I’ve got to wonder if there were partygoers milling about as Russell tried to nail her to the railing. Apparently, Paul McKenna and Randy Jackson were in attendance at the party. So it sounds like an industry party… I guess Russell and Katy provided the entertainment.

In other paparazzi shots from the weekend, Katy was seen shopping with her best friend (who looks a lot like Russell). Russell was seen solo, heading into Cedar Senai medical building in West Hollywood. Interesting… put all of these little incidents together, and we have a story line. Shopping for cute outfits, terrace booty, then STD check-up?

Here’s my advice to Katy: Stop hooking up with Russell on the terrace at an industry party. Stop sending Russell pictures of your boobs. And for goodness sake, ask him what his doctor prescribed and for what ailment.

Here’s Katie and Russell making out on Saturday night, then Russell going to the doctor and Katie shopping the next day. Images thanks to Pacific Coast News and INF Photo.

I used to think Lindsay Lohan and Samantha Ronson were soooo cute. I could have written epic articles on the adorability of their love. But now that it’s been a long time – and lots of drama – I sort of want them to break up just because I’m tired of hearing about the. They’re always either screaming at each other until they’re hoarse (often in public), or they’re making out and getting all “Schmoopie-poo, I love you sooooo much!” I have no idea which is worse.

According to The Mirror, one of their reporters recently was on a trans-Atlantic flight with the couple, and they were nauseatingly codependent the entire time. Lindsay predictably more than Samantha. They made out. They text messaged each other even though they were eight inches apart. They went to the bathroom (together) to change into their matching sleep suits. I’m surprised they didn’t comb each other’s hair.

Some highlights:

Love really is in the air for Hollywood starlet Lindsay Lohan and her girlfriend Samantha Ronson. So much so that any hopes we had of some much-needed kip on the plane back to London, after a week of hard partying at the Oscars, were rudely shattered by the randy pair. On our Virgin Atlantic flight from Los Angeles to London, we were just a few seats away from the loved-up couple – and we didn’t know where to look as they kissed, cuddled and giggled their way through most of the 10-hour flight.

At one point we even caught 22-year-old LiLo texting sweet nothings to DJ Sam on her in-flight entertainment handset – despite sitting eight inches away from her. We weren’t the only passengers to witness their amorous antics. An elderly couple celebrating their 44th wedding anniversary were stunned when Lindsay gave 30-year-old Sam a passionate kiss.

The pair went to the minuscule cabin loo to change into matching black sleep suits before settling down into their seats. Sam looked less than thrilled to get a text right in the middle of a poignant scene [of a movie]. But she soon cheered up after reading “I love you” from LiLo.

More text messages followed in which Lindsay called Sam the “love of my life” and said she wanted to be with her forever. Pass the airsick bag… Then the pair held hands above their headrests and declared their undying love, like a couple of teenagers.

LiLo then got stuck into two large glasses of Jelu Pinot Noir before finally deciding to settle down for a nap and pulling out her reclining bed. Whispering goodnights to each other, the couple then fell asleep side by side, curled up in foetal positions. Aww.

[From the Mirror]

Ick. And this is not an “ick” because they’re girls. In fact I’m probably giving them a little more leeway because they’re girls. This sounds like the behavior of a recently reconciled couple. I’ve only ever been half this gross when I’ve just made up with a guy after a fight. And like I said, still only half. Any one of these things would be sorta cute on its own. But taken altogether, they sound not just nauseating, but suffocating and stifling. It sounds like Samantha’s dating a teenager. Which Lindsay is, in most ways. I’m guessing there was some baby talk involved too.

Though one can’t help but wonder how the Mirror’s reporter was privy to the contents of their text messages. I suppose it’s possible Samantha or Lindsay read them out loud and the reporter was close enough to hear them. Or close and snoopy enough to see them. But I’m guessing they just took some creative license. Which could apply to the rest of the article, except that it sounds very Lohan-esq. You know, until she decides to engage in a rage-fuelled screaming battle in a day or two.

Here’s Lindsay and Samantha out shopping in Central London on Friday. Images thanks to WENN.com.

Drew Barrymore caused quite the stir last night. Over the last week or so she’s been seen with Gossip Girl star Chase Crawford a few times, including leaving the Saturday Night Live after-party. There was a little speculation that they were dating, but it was apparently a cover, since it appears that Barrymore is actually with Crawford’s costar Ed Westwick. Either that or she and Chase have a pretty open arrangement, because Drew and Ed were caught seriously making out at the Kings of Leon performance at Webster Hall in New York City last night.

OMFG. Last night at Webster Hall, the main event proved not to be the performance by Kings of Leon but the intense makeout sesh we witnessed between Drew Barrymore and Ed Westwick, a.k.a. Chuck Bass. We’d seen the pictures of Chace Crawford and Barrymore leaving the Saturday Night Live after-party the other night, but we never imagined it was a ruse to cover up her steamy affair with Chuck Bass.

Following last night’s show, Westwick, wearing leather pants and pointed shoes, accompanied Barrymore to the after-party at Bowery Electric where the pair continued their PDA. Barrymore even straddled Bass — um, we mean Westwick — in a move not dissimilar to that time Serena did it with Nate on the bar. To be honest, the whole thing kind of hurt our eyes a bit, not least because at 33, Drew is definitely the Catharine to 21-year-old Westwick’s Marcus. Needless to say, he could barely conceal his smug satisfaction all night — and left wearing the same half-smile Chuck did after he bagged Blair that fateful night in season one.

[From New York Magazine’s Daily Intel]

Drew seems to be a pretty accepting, “live and let live” sort, so I could see her going for whoever she was into, regardless of age. But a Gossip Girl actor, really? Isn’t he loved by tween girls? The only thing I really knew about Ed Westwick before all this was that there were a lot of gay rumors floating around about him and Crawford. The two are roomies, after all. At their ages and income levels – and with those eyebrows – that’s going to raise a few… well eyebrows.

But apparently Drew and Ed are pretty damn into each other. Either that or she’s going out of her way to show the world that she doesn’t care about recent ex-boyfriend Justin Long hooking up with Kirsten Dunst. Either way, she definitely succeeded.