So my friend didn’t figure out how to make posts properly, and neither did the guy who e-mailed all the bloggers saying he was available for help while we were on vacation.

Anyway I’m back from the south of France, which is beautiful and all, but take my advice and don’t use Mapquest to get to your idyllic destination with your surly hosts near Johnny Depp’s house. Stick to the highways because those windy lines on the map are really perilous mountain passes that aren’t meant for anything but arrogant French drivers in tiny Renaults.

Also back is gorgeous helpful Perry, manny to the stars. He was spotted driving Britney to get some fast food. Sean Preston was not in the car, so it must be true that Perry has given up manny duty in favor of his original job as super-hot personal security and arm candy.

We thought Perry was out of the picture when it was reported that Kevin disliked him and said he shouldn’t care for Sean Preston. K-Fed was also said to be enraged that Sean Preston was calling Perry “Da Da” and generally bonding with the father he never had. The baby-Bjorn wearing Naval Academy graduate was said to be on per-diem security duty, which spelled curtains for him in our book, but look - he’s driving Britney to McDonalds!

Britney said in her upcoming Harper’s Bazaar interview that she can’t wait to get back in shape after the birth of her second child in September. She says she’s “going to get really intense with it” so she can prepare to perform again. In that case we hope she had a McDonald’s salad and skipped the fries and soft drink.

Thanks for hanging in there during my brief vacation away from the Internet that followed my one month stay in America, aka shopping heaven.

I would also like to thank Ritu at Celebguru for letting us “borrow” her content during our vacation. I picked Celebguru to pilfer from as I enjoy Ritu’s commentary and think she does a great job of covering the celebrity news and gossip.

Welcome back, Perry, and welcome back Celebitchy.

Pictures from x17online.

Britney Spears’ gorgeous bodyguard and sometimes manny, 28 year-old Naval Academy graduate Perry Taylor, has been removed from his close position with the troubled pop star and is now working security detail on a daily as-needed basis. He was helpful, attractive, and friendly, and K-Fed is said to have asked Britney to fire him after he heard about how Perry was changing Sean Preston’s diapers and serving as Britney’s unofficial nanny:

(From In Touch print edition, 7/10/06)

Obviously K-Fed is still feeding his friends quotes to give to the rags, because the source was careful to say that he wasn’t jealous or anything. Oh of course not. We’ve never seen Kevin wearing a Baby Bjorn, but Perry donned the baby carrier with pride and a cute button smile.

People were unsure about Perry’s identity at first, initially confusing him with Britney’s record producer, J.R. Rotem, with whom he bears a resemblance. Perry’s identity soon came out, though, and he became an Internet and press phenomenon.

Perry was touted as the reason behind Britney’s cleaned-up appearance in the absence of K-Fed, and people speculated that she was having an affair. Perry’s mom put those rumors to rest by telling the press that her son had a hot live-in girlfriend.

Everyone from the NY Times to U.S. News and World report discussed the merits of male nannys, or the “manny.” We couldn’t get enough of Perry.

Then, last week, Britney was seen out alone and with new jet-black hair after her “Dateline” debacle. It seemed the rumors of Kevin’s dissatisfaction with being upstaged by the help were true, and that Britney had obeyed her do-nothing husband and got rid of the best thing that happened to her since the birth of her baby.

We haven’t seen the last of Perry Taylor, though. We hope that Angelina is watching this young guy’s rise to fame, and will hire him to soften up the image of her security force while lending an extra set of hands to care for Shiloh and Zahara.

Thanks to Kylie on MySpace for reminding me about Perry.

Here are pictures of helpful Perry during his employment with Britney. He’s been seen buying flowers for Britney, and he even holds the car door open for her.

Earlier in the week it was reported that Kevin wanted Britney to fire her gorgeous helpful bodyguard/manny, 28 year-old naval academy graduate, Perry Taylor. Britney may have followed his advice, because she was photographed out without Perry in a NY Mall yesterday.

Kevin would tell Britney to get rid of a guy that’s ten times more helpful than he is. He wants to control her and make sure she doesn’t leave his sorry ass. It looks like Perry’s fifteen minutes of fame, and his steady job, are over. Maybe if he did it half-assed like Kevin, Britney’s husband wouldn’t feel threatened by him and wouldn’t have asked her to fire him.

Britney and Kevin were said to have vacationed together at a resort in Miami this weekend, but the reality is that they avoided each other and stayed in separate houses at their resort.

Kevin has new gigs this week as the face of Blue Marlin clothing company and campaigning for a new Virgin Mobile charity “penny” drive. It’s really a publicity stunt for Virgin’s one-cent text messaging offer. Now that he’s getting his own “work” maybe he’ll get cocky enough about it to finally set Britney free.

Here are pictures of Kevin Federline at a Miami resort on 6/18, and 6/19. There are also pictures of Kevin signing the petition to keep the penny in circulation, and Britney shopping at a NY Mall on 6/21. Britney and Kevin are shown on the balcony at their Miami resort. Pictures [via] [via] [via]

Britney’s boyguard and inexperienced manny, Perry Taylor, wanted to become a US Navy Seal, but a bad stint in the Navy caused by too much boozing and carousing squashed his dreams and forced him to take a career in security:

Perry may have been a drinker like a lot of young people, but he’s still ten times better than K-Fed, whose only brush with responsibility was working as a back up dancer and trying to start a career in a field he’s completely inadequate in.

Britney and K-Fed were photographed together for the first time in weeks. K-Fed looked tired and uncomfortable with his family, in contrast to the calm and slightly bemused look that Perry Taylor sports when he’s helping Britney with Sean Preston, which isn’t even in his job description. Perry seems like a stand up guy with a regular past that isn’t too embarassing.

Here are Perry’s family pictures, which are a bit blurry and not terribly interesting, but you might want to see them. Thanks to BritneySpears.nu for the story and pictures.

Related:

Britney’s “Manny” is not a childcare expert at all - he’s a security guard who graduated from the Naval Academy and chose a career as Britney’s security guard instead of working for a private security firm in Iraq. He also has a hot girlfriend, so he can’t be shagging Britney, right?

His Mom tells TMZ that he doesn’t know much about babies, and is “just learning” how to care for Sean Preston. He looks like he’s a quick learner to us, and he would make a great dad!

That’s too bad that he has a girlfriend, because everyone wanted to attribute Britney’s personal changes to an affair with the mystery man. Reader Millie pointed out that Princess Caroline married her bodyguard, so it’s possible for Britney, too!

It looks like Britney can take full credit for her new outlook, and that might be the best news of all.

Here is Perry getting groceries. [via] Obviously the source we quoted in an earlier report that claimed his name was “Henry” was wrong.

Related:

Everyone was confused about Britney’s new baby-loving male companion. Some claimed it was her producer, J.R. Rotem and there was even one crazy rumor that we zealously reported that Britney was having an affair with her producer and that the baby she’s carrying might be his.

Later the guy was confirmed to be Britney’s male nanny, who perhaps does double-duty as a bodyguard. People were calling him by the uncommon name “Perry.”

It turns out the guy’s real name is “Henry,” and he seems rather likeable from this brief description:

Britney has an absent and soon to be ex - husband, but she has a sweet male nanny and a brand new Porsche! She was spotted out in the hot new convertible taking driving lessons so that she can learn to drive standard.

She’s giving the bird and hopefully the boot to Kevin, and taking back her life.

Here is Britney out driving her new car with a male instructor - not the manny. [via]

Update: This guy’s name is actually Perry, and you can read more about him here.

Related:

Britney has been seen out with a cute young guy toting Sean Preston around, and we breathlessly reported Thursday that she’s rumored to be dating her record producer, J.R. Rotem, and this may or may not be him. The guy was named as J.R. Rotem in earlier pictures of the two out getting coffee last week. Some people are still saying he’s the record producer, while most claim he’s the manny:

Lainey’s Gossip says that it’s Rotem and that he’s so fond of Brit he’s wearing the Baby Bjorn. They also claim Britney has a schoolgirl crush on her helpful producer, which is why she’s been wearing bright red lipstick and making an effort with her appearance.

In the only pictures we could find of Rotem, he looks similar to Britney’s help, but it doesn’t seem like the same guy. Britney was also photographed in her car with a guy said to be Rotem on 4/24 - before she canned her old nanny - and his hair is darker than this new guy.

If that is really producer J.R. Rotem, he’s hanging out with Britney a lot and is going above and beyond by wearing the Baby Bjorn. We doubt it’s the same guy.

If that’s the Manny, he’s not observant enough since Sean Preston is chewing on a piece of paper in the pictures below.

As to Britney’s crush/affair and to whom it’s with - the truth may be somewhere in between. She’s taking better care of herself, and it could be due to the influence of her new male nanny. She also has had more public appearances lately, it’s spring, and she’s recording a new album. She’s ready to dump K-Fed and her dumpy self.

Britney has reportedly kicked her husband K-Fed out of the couple’s California mansion. He hasn’t been photographed with Britney in weeks, and she’s been all over the place looking halfway decent with a new guy who bears a resemblance to her record producer. No wonder people say she’s having an affair.

Thanks Millie!

Pictures are from May 25th and May 27th. [via] Only the first two pictures are high res.

Update: This manny’s name is actually Perry, he’s got a girlfriend and is not having an affair with Britney as far as we can tell, and you can read more about him here.

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