Pete Doherty knows how to do a lot of things right. Taking 39 times the lethal dose of a street drug and living? He’s excellent at it. Writing “love it or hate it” kind of music? Fantastic at it. Smoking nine cigarettes on the john while begging a drunk model to watch? Pete is top notch at all these things! Granted I have none of this on any authority whatsoever, but I think that – given the things Pete has admitted to doing (getting his kitten high, squirting a vial of his own blood on an MTV cameraman, etc) – nothing I’ve made up here is completely beyond the realm of possibility. Show me one shred of evidence that Pete never …. I couldn’t even finish that sentence. It’s really hard to think of something so outrageous that there isn’t even a chance Pete Doherty has done it.

So given all that, Pete actually handled turning 30 really well. All he did was get a birthday cake, shove the face of the baker who’d just made it into the cake, then try to jump off the top of the hotel. I have done 9/10th of those things for my last seven birthdays. Yeah, try to work out that math.

Pete Doherty has revealed he considered killing himself on the night of his thirtieth birthday.

In an frank interview with Elle, the Babyshambler recalled his big thirtieth birthday bash back in March:

“I had this bash in Paris and it was an absolute disgrace. I just made a bit of an idiot out of myself. I don’t even know exactly what happened but I ended up trying to throw myself off the top of the hotel. I wasn’t happy at all about being 30″.

“I went through a bottle of vodka. They presented me with this cake and I pushed it in the chef’s face who’d just made it for me. Then the chef and the security guards were chasing me around. I think I escaped unscathed”.

“It was hilarious. I had a great night.”

[From the London Daily News]

Agent Bedhead points out that while Pete tells this like it’s some adorable grand ‘ol jolly time and just one of those crazy stories everyone has from their youth, there’s actually some uncomfortable undertones to it. In 2006 Pete was at a party where a man named Mark Blanco got into a “scuffle” with Pete and his body guard, and Mark fell to his death. Pete, being the ever classy, considerate guy that he is then went back to the scene of the crime/accident (depending on what version you believe) to shoot a music video for a song he wrote called “The Art Of Murder.”

Agent Bedhead thinks Pete’s finding it hard to move on and maybe actually has some real guilt. I could certainly understand that. Of course I think the more likely explanation is that Pete’s willing to do whatever it takes to get as much attention as humanly possible, and shoving a man’s head in a cake (who kindly just baked it for you) then running around and trying to jump off the roof is probably the best way to make sure everyone is thinking about you and only you.

Here’s Pete Doherty leaving Cheltenham Magistrates court after attending a committal hearing on charges of dangerous driving on August 11th. Images thanks to WENN.com .

Pete Doherty and Amy Winehouse used to go together like melon balls and prosciutto. You know, they didn’t make the most obvious sense together, but once you actually tried them out it turned out to be just the right match. I always imagined them some day getting married and inserting each other with used needles instead of the traditional exchange of rings. But what can I say, I’m a foolish old romantic that way.

In the past year, though, it was starting to seem like my hopes were being dashed. Amy moved to the Caribbean theoretically to get some space and get clean (which is still sort of questionable), while Pete underwent his own sobriety ruse. He managed to stay out of jail since May of 2008. You read that right: a whole freaking year. But for those of you worried this Romeo and Juliet wouldn’t find each other and that healthy living might get in their way, don’t fear. Turns out Pete hasn’t been clean at all: just doing a good job of maintaining the farce.

He was arrested in Switzerland over the weekend after he was found enjoying some heroin for dessert after his lovely British Airways dinner.

ROCKER Pete Doherty has been arrested in Switzerland after being accused of taking drugs on a British Airways flight. The ex-Libertines and Babyshambles singer was detained on arrival at Geneva on Friday after cabin staff found him slumped in a toilet on board. He was escorted back to his economy class seat apparently intoxicated.

A member of the cabin crew found a hypodermic needle in the toilet and the pilot called police to meet the plane… One passenger said: “A few people on the plane recognised Pete and he went to the bathroom more than halfway into the flight… He had been in there for about 25 minutes when the announcement came over the tannoy for the crew to prepare the flight for landing. The crew knocked on the door but Pete didn’t come out. They eventually managed to get in 10 minutes before the plane landed. Pete was taken back to his seat and he looked completely out of it. One of the crew took a needle out of the toilet wrapped in a tissue.”

[From the Sunday Mail]

According to the Sunday Mail, the British Airways crew contacted the police and Pete was arrested. Apparently all he had to do was pay a fine and leave. I’m not really up on the international drug laws, but somehow I thought bringing drugs and needles onto an international flights – especially when you’ve got quite the arrest record – would be a bit of a bigger deal. Maybe a night behind bars or something – a token gesture.

Pete was, of course, allowed to carry on his way and even performed at the Neuchatel Open Air music festival, which is why he was in Switzerland. From the way this story is sounding, I’m surprised the Swiss didn’t apologize to Pete for the inconvenience, and offer him a fresh supply of new, pointier needles.

Well there goes that pleasant facade about how Pete’s all cleaned up and focusing on his music now. I’ve got to hand it to him – he did a good job. Not of staying sober, but of making us all think he might be sober. I don’t think anyone thought he was definitely clean, but there was a real absence of evidence that he was using. And when Pete Doherty’s not getting a kitten high, that’s practically the same thing as a clean drug test. So long, sober Pete. Hopefully the police in London will be keeping a bit of a closer eye on you.

Here’s Pete with his band Babyshambles performing a secret gig on the final day of “The Great Escape” music festival on May 16th. Images thanks to BauerGriffinOnline.

Pete Doherty has a strange way of being romantic, but somehow it works for him. Maybe that’s because the bar is set so low when it comes to the drug addicted musician. Doherty had a famously tempestuous relationship with Kate Moss that ended over a year ago. Since then she’s been dating Jamie Hince of The Kills, and Pete has made no secret of the fact that he still pines for her.

He told The Sun he recently wanted to go see Lily Allen perform but was asked not to attend. The reason? Kate would be there, and Lily’s people were afraid it’d take the attention off of her. And Pete agreed that it would, since he would likely headbutt Hince and carry Kate away. And somehow it comes across as almost endearing when he says it.

A BABYSHAMBLER scorned can be a terrible thing. Just ask PETE DOHERTY. The potty one is gunning for JAMIE HINCE’s scalp after he took up with KATE MOSS. Though the two chaps are yet to meet, one-time crack-loving Pete reckons it wouldn’t be long before they came to blows when their paths do, eventually, cross.

He moans in an interview in the new issue of Q magazine: “I wanted to see LILY ALLEN play the other week. But her label EMI got in touch and said, ‘We don’t want you there because Kate Moss will be there and it will take attention away from Lily. Can you not go?’ I was so insulted.

“I don’t know. I think I would have been courteous enough. Then I’d probably have head-butted her new boyfriend, put her over my shoulder and run off.”

And it’s clear the ex-con rocker does still carry a brightly burning candle for the lost love of his life. He added: “Really and truly, I miss her. And I would like to speak to her. It’s so confusing for me still. What am I supposed to say?

[From The Sun]

That’s kind of cute. It makes me root for Pete in that same way you’d cheer on the awkward guy friend who you hope only needs a makeover and a good shower. You’d never want to date him yourself, but you hope he finds some nice, other girl to go with.

Pete did really mess things up with Kate – in that spectacular way only he can. There were several reports that they were getting married on a beach in Thailand in 2007, and he didn’t show because he got arrested for some drug charge or other. It’s nearly impossible to root out which charge it was, the guy’s got a rap sheet longer than a roll of toilet paper.

It seems like Pete’s settled down a bit. And I say that very cautiously. I mean this is the guy who squirted a syringe of his own blood at an MTV cameraman because… well that’s something to do, I guess, when you’re Pete Doherty. I don’t know how else to explain it. But he’s not in the tabloids nearly so much anymore, and when he is it’s for broken hearts and hooking up with girls and partying a lot. And a bunch of things involving his cat. Which is a big improvement over all the arrests and freakish behavior that would occasionally put Amy Winehouse to shame.

Maybe it’s just my inner optimist, but I think Pete might still have a chance with Kate. Not necessarily anytime soon, but maybe in a couple years.

Here’s Pete out and about in Paris on March 3rd. Images thanks to Fame Pictures .

Although she has recently announced that she has no plans to leave St. Lucia for quite some time, Amy Winehouse is looking to continue her career in music with her very own record label called Lioness. She has reportedly spent £1 million (approximately $1.4 million) on the endeavor and has even signed her 13-year-old goddaughter Dionne Bromfield.

Amy is so confident that Dionne has what it takes to become Britain’s next pop sensation she’s teamed her up with US star Lady Gaga, soul singer Lemar and X Factor finalist Eoghan Quigg to record duets.

But most excitingly Amy, 25, has secretly headed into the studio with 13-year-old Dionne to collaborate on a handful of songs herself…

“Amy thinks Dionne is so talented that she didn’t want to wait for record companies to come knocking in a few years.” Amy has taken advice from X Factor judges and established record industry moguls Simon Cowell and Louis Walsh, who have both been introduced to Dionne.

Last night a very excited Dionne told me: “I had a lot of record companies wanting to sign me but I didn’t know where to go. So for Amy to set up this record company and make me her first signing means so much.”

[from News of The World]

The album, co-written by Amy, will be released in March and has a “Motown soul sound.” Amy has also flown Dionne to visit her in St. Lucia (great idea – lots of wholesome fun for the kids) and is paying for a month-long singing program for Dionne in Los Angeles.

I don’t know if allowing Dionne to even see her godmother at all is a good idea at this point. The article quotes Amy as saying that she’s “cleaning up my act for Dionne. She needs someone responsible around her to promote her career,” but she’s not doing a very good job of it. She needs to stop crawling on all fours begging for threesomes and booze before she can be considered anything close to “responsible.” But clearly her parents don’t mind – Amy was seen taking Dionne to a club last summer.

Still, a little Google search proved Amy right one one count – Dionne does have some impressive chops. The video below is a May 2008 clip of Dionne recording Alicia Keys’ “If I Ain’t Got You” in Pete Doherty’s basement with Amy Winehouse languidly strumming along on a guitar. It’s quite good, and even though the sound is a little fuzzy you can clearly hear that Dionne’s voice is very mature. Just not mature enough to be hanging out in Pete Doherty’s basement.

Amy Winehouse and her goddaughter are shown on 9/25/08. Credit WENN

Pete Doherty’s arm exploded! Or something pretty close to it. Last weekend Pete was in the recording studio, doing the only thing you’d do there. No, not recording music. What a stupid idea. Pete was shooting heroin into his exhausted veins. At this point they’re pretty much shriveled up like a long line of raisins. Which is probably what Pete thinks his veins really are. While trying to shoot heroin into his arm, the artery burst.

It’s been a while since the corpse in a pork pie hat, Pete Doherty, did something worthy of being in the news, but this week he’s come up with a CRACKER.

Old Pete was in a recording studio last weekend, apparently not just walking around as if he was in a Tim Burton cartoon, but actually recording some of that shit music again (five seconds of hook stretched out over three and a half minutes of sonic torture – hey, daddio, get with it!) and while the paps are away the mouse will play.

Well, if you consider jacking a load of horse into your arm ‘playing’ that is. Pete’s arm was so fed up with being used as indie’s voodoo doll it decided to give up the ghost and, erm, burst (“Too much heroin and a burst artery or something – Apparenty.” – Dr. HM).

Anyway, it EXPLODED while he was there and the private doctor’s speed dial was rung. Problem is, by the time the doctor arrived, the drugs had kicked in on dusty Pete and he kept running away from the doctor. So in some form of opiate Benny Hill tribute they had to chase him around the room before finally manhandling him to hospital.

[From Holy Moly]

That is incredibly gross. And I believe every word of it. If the line of thought goes that a part of Pete’s body was so exhausted from being treated badly that it exploded, I don’t understand why his head hasn’t shot right off by now. Really, every vein in the man’s body – and every organ too – ought to have burst into flames by now.

Pete’s lucky this is the first time that happened. And I have no idea how a doctor repairs such a thing, but I hope it involved some kind of crazy and disgusting surgery that had to be performed right then and there.

I would never be so foolish as to tell Pete Doherty to give up drugs. It’s not like Amy Winehouse, where you still hope there’s a teeny, tiny chance of sobriety. Clearly this guy is going to shoot, snort, and imbibe every single substance on this earth until it kills him.

But if he did have a shot of something being so upsetting (and in this case, gross) that it made him see the light, I’m pretty sure it would be an exploding arm.

Here’s Pete arriving for his gig at The Monarch pub in Camden, London with a sore nose and carrying a laptop on November 7th. Images thanks to Splash.

In what could be an installment of Stupid Human Tricks: Halloween Edition, Babyshambles frontman, Pete Doherty, is looking to join the ranks of David Blaine in meaningless-stunts-for-attention, by locking himself in a coffin filled with rats for one hour at a Halloween party. Doherty has offered to “perform” the stunt on-stage if the band Dead Kids can make a partygoer cry.

The Babyshambles rocker has offered to perform the ghoulish stunt on stage for one hour at special Halloween event A Plague On Both Your Houses, where his favourite band the Dead Kids are playing – but only if they can scare at least one fan to tears during their song ‘Fear and Fluoride’.

Dead Kids’ singer Mike Title said: “We get all sorts of delinquents at our shows. It must be the name.
“Maybe he needs a bit of joy in his life and Dead Kids make you happy.” A spokesperson for the event, which takes place at a secret London location on October 31, added: “The theme of the party is the return of the plague, so undead, infected guests like Pete will fit in perfectly.”

[From FemaleFirst]

Give me a minute. I have to sit in silent admiration of that spokesperson for finding the most fitting words to describe Doherty I have heard yet. “Undead, infected guests like Pete…” Oh, nameless spokesperson, you deserve an award on this day.

David Blaine is either proud or threatened right now. On one hand he could feel flattered that someone else would take his cue and carry on the practice of doing completely mindless and nugatory stunts in the name of publicity. On the other hand, he could be calling his attorney to put a stop to it because Doherty is stealing his schtick. Either way he’s probably wishing he would have thought of it. Only he’d take breaks every ten minutes and make sure the rats were vaccinated.

Someone is undoubtedly searching for a nice coffin with a cigarette hole to have ready for Doherty.
Having never seen Pete Doherty without a cigarette in hand, I can’t imagine he could make it an hour without one. A nice, big, glass coffin, with a cigarette hole and flask pocket, so everyone can watch Pete and the rats see who can last longer in an enclosed space with the other.

The poor rats, where is PETA when you need them? I can see them now, huddled in the corner of the coffin, trying to get as far from Doherty as possible, fearing the plague that he carries. They didn’t sign up for this.

Here’s Pete Doherty performing at the Loch Lomond 2008 music festival in Ballach, Scotland on 8/2/08. Credit: BIG PICTURES/bauergriffinonline.com

It’s widely been reported that Pete Doherty wants to win back Kate Moss. Because their relationship obviously worked out so well the first time. Instead of showing up at her doorstep with a bouquet of flowers, Pete has decided to go the nontraditional – albeit just as romantic – route of having Kate’s favorite deceased cat formed into a ring. How could this possibly go wrong?

Pete Doherty is planning to have the ashes of his cat Shelley made into a diamond ring.

The singer has commissioned the piece from US company LifeGem and insiders claims Pete, 29, is planning to give the sparkler to ex Kate Moss, 34.

Shelley was her favourite pet when they dated last year, reports the Daily Star, and he’s hoping the gift will help win her back now she’s split from Jamie Hince, 39.

Kate is reported to have dumped The Kills star because he was spending too much time with bandmate Alison Mosshart.

‘Kate was upset with Jamie because he often doesn’t pick up his phone when he’s with her,’ a source tells the News Of The World.

‘Kate shouted at him that he has a closeness with her that they don’t have.’

[From NOW Magazine]

So, to sum up: Kate Moss: jealous of ex-boyfriend’s bandmate; Pete Doherty making cat Shelly into diamond ring. Essentially, everything is status quo in the lives of these two.

This is one of those stories you’d assume is a crazy internet rumor, except that because it’s Pete Doherty it is entirely possible. In fact I think the odds are much greater that Pete plans on turning Shelly into a diamond (I’m assuming that’s how it works; I’m way too afraid to look at the company’s website to find out) than him writing a love poem or something. Unless he wrote it in his own blood. To go with the blood artwork that he did. I’m not even trying to be outlandish here. Pete did do that. Hopefully he has no more pets in his possession, or I’m afraid Pete might come up with the materials for a matching pendant.

Here’s Pete looking not quite as scary as expected performing live in concert at the Royal Albert Hall in London on Saturday. Images thanks to WENN.

Celebrity photographer Mario Testino says that Kate Moss needs an image makeover, because she’s looked the same for years. Obviously, she needs to cut her hair.

The acclaimed snapper, who has photographed the British beauty throughout her modelling career, isn’t a fan of the star’s current look – insisting she needs a new hairstyle.

He says, “Kate is quite simply the icon of this generation, and probably the next.

“My favourite picture… is one of her with short hair. We all tell her to get her hair cut short again, but she just doesn’t listen.”

Contact Music

Kate does look fabulous with shorter hair, but has Mario considered the fact that the reason we’re all tired of Kate’s look is her constant presence beside scrappy looking ‘rock stars’ like Pete Doherty?

Speaking of Pete, it seems any money he made from Babyshambles has run out, and he doesn’t have another wealthy girlfriend to buy crack for him, so he’s going to try and continue his financial relationship with Kate Moss.

Pete Doherty is about to sell out his old flame Kate Moss. He’s planning an autobiography, with sections devoted to focusing on his relationship with her. He’s teaming up with author Sean Boru to write it. Sean says,

“The whole premise of the book is Pete talking about Kate Moss and the sex and drugs and rock’n'roll lifestyle they shared. I wrote to Pete when he was in jail about my experiences when I was a drug addict and we built a relationship. He knows I understand where he is coming from and this is the first book that properly details his private life with Moss – which is what everyone wants to read about.”

Hollyscoop

I highly doubt that this is going to be an accurate record of Pete’s time with Kate, since he probably can’t remember their relationship, or what he ate for breakfast this morning.

Fortunately, Kate is with a new man who truly loves her, Jamie Hince. He ordered 120 rolls of toilet paper to take to the Glastonbury festival. Like Pete Doherty, Hince is a singer in a rock band. Hopefully the comparisons end there.

Kate Moss is shown on 6/23/08 out in London and at Glastonbury on 6/27/08 with her boyfriend and a bodyguard. Thanks to WENN.

To me, nothing says romance quite like fish and chips. But I’m from the Pacific Northwest, and we have a different way of viewing the goodness of the ocean. I’m assuming that to the rest of the world, battered and fried cod doesn’t make hearts flutter. However Amy Winehouse seems to think fish and chips is pretty much the perfect meal to celebrate her first wedding anniversary. Unfortunately, it was takeout. For one. Eaten alone. I don’t need any other short sentences to prove my pathetic point here do I?

Amy Winehouse and Blake Fielder-Civil celebrated one year of wedding bliss on Sunday. Though it’s really more like a six month anniversary… since Blake’s been in jail for over half the amount of time they’ve been married. I know, stop fanning yourselves at their romance.

Troubled singer Amy Winehouse marked her first wedding anniversary to Blake Fielder-Civil with a lonely fish and chip supper after visiting her husband in prison. The couple spent their anniversary apart on Sunday after Amy chose to join troubled rocker Pete Doherty at a charity football tournament in south east London.

After missing a prison visit on Friday due to the traffic, Amy abandoned her usual scruffy clothes and dressed up in a pencil skirt and v-neck black top as she dropped by Pentonville Prison for a belated anniversary meeting. Amy usually visits Blake in a pair of high-heels, but opted for her signature ballet bumps for the afternoon trip.

The troubled singer, 24, paid tribute to her husband by placing a cushioned heart with the name Blake splashed across it in her famous beehive. After marking their first year as husband and wife in the visiting room of Pentonville in north London, Amy left the prison beaming to photographers.

She stopped off at a local fish and chip for a greasy supper-for-one, which she sadly wasn’t able to share with her husband.

[From the Daily Mail]

Nothing says love like fish grease. And from the last time I had fish and chips in London, the ratio of grease to fish was 3:2. Both the Daily Mail and People reported that Amy appeared to be in very good spirits, especially after returning from visiting Blake on Monday. He must have seen the YouTube video she made with Pete Doherty and some baby mice, asking him not to divorce her. Such a romantic gesture was bound to touch even the emptiest of hearts.

Who knew that would be so effective? I wish I could go back in time to my own parents’ divorce and have one of them talk to the other through baby rodents. I hope marriage counselors adopt this most successful tactic. Or just keep both parties on drugs, since I’m guessing that’s the real reason for most of Amy’s behavior the last few days. Happy Anniversary, Amy and Blake! May you have many more filled with baby mice and Pete Doherty’s scabby face!

Here are pics of Amy’s busy day visiting the hubby in jail and grabbing her fish and chip dinner yesterday. Images thanks to WENN.

Amy Winehouse and Pete Doherty posted a strange video under Pete’s YouTube account. They’re handling day-old baby mice, which is a definite no-no because the mother may smell a strange scent on the mice and reject them. (Compared to making your cat smoke crack it’s a minor transgression.)

In a weird angle in a blue-lit room, they hold the mice up to the camera, the tiny creatures wriggling on their dirty fingernails and hands.

Amy then uses one of the newborn mice to tell her incarcerated husband, Blake, not to divorce her:

Winehouse then picks up one of the mice, holds it up to the camera, and says (via the mouse): “This one’s got a message for Blake… Blake, please don’t divorce mummy….. she loves you ever so.”

Her partner in ‘crime’, and some say possible lover, is then heard saying, “If you do divorce her, you’ll have me to deal with.”

“Yeah, he’s right, if you divorce me, you’ll have me to deal with. I’m only a day old, but I know what love is,” says Wino, still holding the mouse.

[From Blogs.nzherald.co.nz]

Amy and Pete had another video up yesterday under his account which has since been removed. The Sun saved it for prosperity though. Pete talks in a French accent while Amy manhandles a baby mouse. She holds up a kitten and makes it wave. Both Pete and Amy look incredibly messed up.