I used to think British “supermodel” Katie Price, aka Jordan, was a world class moron. Then I asked myself, “Self, why do you think that?” And I realized it was because of the big fake boobs, fake hair, fake teeth, fake tan… and all these very superficial things. I’d never head the woman speak, so it didn’t seem fair to judge her to be a complete moron. So here I was, sitting at my desk, trying to give Katie Price another chance when she completely out-morons anyone I’ve heard of in a long time.

Katie and her husband, heterosexually questionable Peter Andre, are in Los Angeles filming and promoting their reality TV show for E! Her daughter, 9-month old Princess Tiáamii (yes that’s her real name, I’m not mocking the poor kid) came down with a serious case of chicken pox right before they arrived. What does worried mother Katie Price do? She insists the show go on, and not let little Princess Tiáamii ruin everyone else’s good time.

But when Jordan’s daughter Princess Tiáamii caught the infectious disease while on holiday in Los Angeles, the glamour model was insistent life should carry on as normal. Despite medical recommendations to keep a chicken pox sufferer at home, the glamour model brought the nine-month-old baby for a day out in Beverly Hills - and her spotty appearance certainly caused a stir.

Arriving at LAX airport, Katie admitted Princess had caught the virus from older brother Junior. She said: “She’s covered in chicken pox. How typical. She’ll be alright. Junior’s just had them.” On Sunday, the couple left Harvey and Junior with the nanny to show ailing Princess the sights of Beverly Hills.

[From the Daily Mail]

The two parents proceeded to prance around Los Angeles, eating lunch outside while pausing to make out, then shopping for hundreds of dollars of clothing. All the while, they were dragging along their horribly sick, spotted, and contagious child for the paparazzi to swarm. Absolutely lovely. Not surprisingly, the day ended with a trip to the hospital for little Princess Tiáamii. Luckily she appeared to be okay, and was given some medicine and ordered to stay on bed rest. Perhaps inside with the nanny that Jordan left her two healthy children with.

Here’s Katie Price and a sick little Princess Tiáamii yesterday out and about in L.A. Images thanks to WENN.

“Mom of the year”/obsessive plastic surgery victim/sorta model Jordan (aka Katie Price) has given an excruciatingly long and in-depth interview to OK! Magazine in which she’s talked about her displeasure with her body, even after what seems like a million surgeries - and at least four on her breasts alone. Jordan says she had her globe-sized implants removed, but her breasts still aren’t small enough. Or perky enough. Or bolted-on looking, which is what she actually told the surgeon she wanted. That look that screams bad/fake looking boob job is what Jordan was aiming for but didn’t get. So now she’s going to go under the knife again, for the gajillionith time.

“When I saw my boobs I was disappointed because they looked big and I wanted them to be a lot smaller. My words to the doctor beforehand were: ‘I want to go a lot smaller. More pert. More stuck-on looking. But I still want people to think I’ve got big boobs.” Katie, who is married to singer Peter Andre and has three children, added: “I’m really disappointed. In fact I’m going back to the States to get them re-done.”

Explaining why she isn’t impressed, Katie continued: “They look fine in bra but they hang too low when I’m standing up and it’s really bad when I’m lying down. There’s about a four inch gap. I’ve had three boob jobs done before and I’ve seen enough other ones to know what they should look like and they’re not right. I’ve also got indents so you can see where the implant is sitting and there’s excess skin so the doctor either hasn’t filled the skin up enough or he hasn’t removed enough skin.”

[From the Daily Mail]

So instead of saying to herself, “You know, I’ve had four breast surgeries so far, and each time I’m less and less satisfied. Maybe I should stop having breast surgeries,” Jordan’s natural reaction is to go under the knife for a fifth time. It seems like there’s a real contradiction between what she’s saying. “they looked big and I wanted them to be a lot smaller” and in the next breath “But I still want people to think I’ve got big boobs.” You see how it could be a little challenging for a surgeon to please her, given her request. Katie’s also spent a ton of money on getting her teeth done - and she’s not happy with any of it. But the best part is the end of her quote. Wait for it, it’s priceless.

Katie said she is so upset with the staggering £43,000 cosmetic surgery that she is warning others to stay natural has even vowed not to have any more done herself. She said: “I can’t believe this is the first time I’ve paid for surgery and this is the first time it went wrong.

“My boobs and nose were £18,000 and my gnashers [teeth] were £25,000. But they are [botched] as well. Mine are so sensitive now it’s like they’ve filed them down too much and have hit all my nerve endings. It hurts constantly. It feels like I’ve got electricity going through my teeth.”

She added: “I tell you what - anyone reading this, just stay natural because I’ve been through all this and look at the state of me. They [botched] up my boobs and they [botched] up my teeth and I’ve been in pain for six weeks. I don’t want any more surgery, though. I’ve had enough! I’ve had enough of anaesthetics and I’ve had enough of recovering.

[From the Daily Mail]

Wow, so you look the worse for wear, you’re out a lot of money, you’re completely dissatisfied with the results, your advice to everyone is to stay natural, and you “don’t want any more surgery… I’ve had enough!” BUT, the subject of your whole interview is how you’re having more surgery to get your boobs and teeth redone. Well thought out my friend, well thought out. Jordan, should you ever stumble upon our site, could I recommend you peruse this article? Thanks.

Picture Note by JayBird: Here’s a side shot of Jordan’s new, toned-down boobs as she arrives back to the UK from her surgery in the US on December 22nd. Images thanks to Splash. Header of her promoting her line of larger sized lingerie in 2006.

The former nanny to Katie Price (aka Jordan) and Peter Andre’s children, Becky Gauld, has a few things to say about the reality show couple. If you watch their dreadful show, you know that in the season finale last year, Becky was fired from her job as caretaker to Katie and Peter’s two sons because she took a holiday against Katie’s wishes. Since then, Becky has taken the pair to court for wrongful termination and won. Now, she’s going to the tabloids and telling them that Jordan isn’t the devoted mom she appears to be on TV.

Becky, 25, stormed: “Their life is very different to the one on TV. The reality is she’s selfish and self-centred - and NOT the perfect mum.

“If viewers had seen what I saw off-camera they’d be astounded. The only thing they do as a family is photoshoots.”

In the revealing interview she tells how Jordan:

ALLOWED overweight thyroid disorder sufferer Harvey to eat TWENTY chicken nuggets at once - even though she’d been told by doctors he could DIE if he didn’t diet.

WAS QUIZZED by SOCIAL SERVICES after the blind autistic youngster scalded himself in a bath of hot water.

TAUGHT Harvey to say “f*** off just so she and Andre could raise a laugh from their friends at a barbecue.

ASTONISHINGLY sent Becky a TEXT from her bed summoning her nanny from her cottage in the grounds of the £2.5 million mansion at 4AM… because the star couldn’t be bothered to get up and cope with Junior crying in a nearby room.

Becky told the paper: “When she was named Celebrity Mum Of The Year by Grattan last year I laughed.

[From The Sun]

Becky goes on to say that the ‘devoted parents’ routine is just that–a routine. The pair only cuddle and play with the children when the cameras are on, but when there’s no one around to impress, they were all too eager to dump the kids on the nanny. Apparently, Peter likes to hang out in his recording studio, while Jordan is more worried about her beauty treatments than changing diapers. The nanny expressed particular concern for Jordan’s oldest son, Harvey, who is autistic, blind, and suffers from a thyroid disorder.

Jordan has blamed her son’s weight problems on him hating vegetables, saying: “The doctors told me, ‘If he doesn’t go on a diet he could die’. I said, ‘I’m telling you now, he will not eat vegetables. He only wants to eat chicken nuggets or anything with potato’.”

But Becky - whose interview can be seen in full at notw.co.uk - says: “That is total rubbish, he WOULD eat vegetables - you just had to have patience and you had to hide them.

“I used to give him Bernard Matthews mini kievs and hide green beans inside. She’d seen me doing it but she knew it took PATIENCE to get him to eat them.

“Harvey’s weight problems were due to his condition but she also fed him the wrong things. They would sometimes give him up to 20 packets of raisins a day.”

On a holiday to Cyprus the nanny watched in horror as the couple fed him a mountain of fast food.

“In a McDonalds Peter bought him 20 chicken nuggets and chips and brought them back to the car,” she said. “Then he and Katie went shopping while Harvey bolted them down.

“I didn’t want him to eat them but I was not his mum. They went on holiday in America for ten days and he lost nearly a stone when I looked after him. I just gave him healthy food and exercise.”

Is it true– or is it sour grapes? While Jordan has not officially responded to the story, sources say she is very upset and plans to refute these claims. Becky certainly has a motive to paint Jordan as a bad mother. It can’t be easy to be fired from your job on national television– I would probably want some revenge on my employers if that’s how they chose to sack me. It wouldn’t be the first time a disgruntled former employee told tall tales about their boss to get even. However, Becky did win a court case against the pair, which adds a certain air of credibility to the story. And she has since found employment with another family. However, she did go running to The Sun, which means she was probably paid to tell her story.

I think Jordan’s a tacky, no-talent attention-whore, but I’ve always given her credit as a caring mother who seems to cope well with raising a child with so many disabilities. If the nanny is telling the truth, I hope there is some kind of investigation into what’s going on in that house. But with so many cameras pointed at Jordan and her kids on a daily basis, it’s hard to believe that someone other than the nanny wouldn’t have noticed all these things.

Picture note by Celebitchy: Thanks to DListed for these image from the January, 2006 issue of OK! Magazine.

I have never thought it was possible for breasts to have a career, but it seems the pair attached to Katie Price, aka Jordan, have proved me wrong.

The breasts have had four surgeries throughout their carriers career as a glamour model, and also appeared at promotional activities for Katie’s books and fragrance.

Now the breasts’ husband Peter Andre is also trying to use the breasts for his own career advancement, giving an interview about their qualities, following their recent reduction from a size 32FF. The breasts have declined to reveal their current size although I’m sure Katie will reveal it sometime soon.

He said: “I used to think just a little more than a handful was plenty enough and I was simply into legs and bums, but Katie and her amazing boobs changed my mind, big time.

“Once I had those babies in front of my eyes I was a changed man.

“I often get asked what Katie’s breasts feel like and I can tell you that they feel amazing. And very, very real. And very heavy.”

Though, with his sensible hat on, Peter reassures himself her reduction was a positive thing.

He even tries to convince himself they were perhaps too big for her anyway.

He told Loaded: “If I were completely honest - and I totally love Katie, she’s my wife and mother to my children - but I secretly thought they might have been too big for her body at one point.

“To be honest, she wasn’t even my type. I don’t mean she wasn’t pretty, but those fake breasts and blonde hair wasn’t what I’d normally go for.

“However, a few nights alone with her and I soon knew what all the fuss was about.”

The Sun

I suspect that J. Howard Marshall felt the same way about Anna Nicole Smith.

Katie Price actually looks really good post-surgery, she’s also had a nose job, and without the breasts stealing the spotlight you can see how beautiful she is. When you have a face as pretty as that, why divert attention away from it with overly large boobs? Although, do you kind of get the impression that Peter misses them, just a little?

Peter Andre and Katie Price have recently been in Peter’s home country of Australia, filming the forth season of their reality series Katie and Peter. Like the world needed more reality TV. Peter showed his kids the places he used to visit as a child, and also went for a meal at the Greek restaurant owned and run by his three brothers, as well as going to the nightclub he owns himslef. Expect to see all that and not much else on the new series.

Keep an eye out for Katie’s old breast implants, which she plans on auctioning for charity on eBay.

Picture note by Celebitchy: Header image of Peter and the breasts in larger times was taken on 9/21/07, thanks to PR Photos.

There’s nothing I love more than a celebrity fued, and this one is between Liam Gallagher and Peter Andre! When I was at school, the cool kids liked Oasis and the dorks liked Peter Andre. I liked his abs.

Liam was asked during a television interview last week who he’d like to collaborate with, who he’d like to text and who he’d like to ignore. He was given the names Dolly Parton, Peter Andre and Sir Trevor McDonald, a British news anchor, to chose from.

He replied: “I’d call Trevor McDonald, I’d text Peter Andre and I’d ignore Dolly Parton. The only reason I’d text Peter Andre is to say, ‘What the f*** are you on about man? Where’d you get my f***ing number from, you f***ing pikey ****?’ “

On hearing this, Peter hit back in a magazine interview.

Pete fumed in New magazine: “I read somewhere that Liam Gallagher has been calling me all sorts of names. I found this quite surprising because when I last saw Liam he couldn’t have been friendlier to me and Katie. I’d go as far as to say that he was totally up our backsides!

“We bumped into him at a Radio 1 event and he told us how great he thought we were and how his mother Peggy was a big fan. It’s such a shame he was too much of a coward to tell us how he really felt to our faces instead of being two-faced. That man is all mouth and no trousers!”

[Both quotes New Zealand Herald]

Maybe Peter should have given Liam an autograph for his mum.

Then again, there is no chance that Liam Gallagher, who is possibly the biggest poser in the British industry, is going to admit that he likes or even tolerates Peter Andre. Even if his mum is a fan. I wonder what his mother thinks of his language?

Next time you see Peter Andre, watch out Liam. I’ve seen those abs.

In other Peter Andre news, his wife Katie Price aka Jordan is getting a breast reduction for Christmas. And her New Year’s resolution? Not to show her boobs to anyone but her husband. Does this means she’s retiring?

Header image is an older one of Peter Andre as it’s the only headshot I could find without Jordan in it. Liam Gallagher is shown outside his brother Noel’s birthday party on 5/26/07, thanks to WENN. Peter Andre and Jordan are shown outside Gary Cockerill’s birhday party on 9/30/07, thanks to Splash News and PR Photos.