Though I don’t think anyone with half a brain believes the gossip that came out yesterday that Lindsay Lohan and Samantha Ronson are planning on tying the knot, that hasn’t stopped creepy dad Michael Lohan from yapping to the press about it. And how he doesn’t approve.

Though in May Michael told Us Weekly his feelings about the SamRo relationship were that his daughter, “‘is a big girl, and she can make her own life choices. Then it is between her and God,’” apparently Michael has now decided to be a little less open-minded – though deliberately vague in his comments. Because that’s a better way to get press.

Gay marriage may be legal in California now, but wedding bells don’t seem to be in Lindsay Lohan and Sam Ronson’s immediate future. And if the couple were to wed, Lohan’s dad Michael probably wouldn’t play the proud father giving away the bride.

“I haven’t heard anything (about an upcoming wedding) from Lindsay, but if she was marrying Sam, I don’t think she’d ask me to walk her down the aisle,” says Michael. “She knows about my (Christian) faith … she just wouldn’t ask.”

That’s not to say that he doesn’t support Lindsay and a possible relationship with Ronson, he just supports her in more indirect ways.

“I want her to be happy and healthy and stay on the right path,” he says. “If I discuss (her relationship), I say that I want her to be happy.”

[From MSNBC’s The Scoop]

I feel nauseous every time I hear Michael Lohan spout his “I’ve been in too much therapy” jargon. Considering he’s always spouting off about his faith (but not doing anything useful or productive with it – just bragging about it, as far as I can tell) it seems that what Michael is implying is that Lindsay wouldn’t ask him to be part of a gay wedding because he doesn’t approve.

He doesn’t all-out say this so it’s hard to nail him on his comments. And Michael doesn’t actually say he doesn’t approve of Lindsay and Sam’s relationship or being gay in general. There’s just this tone of “wanting her to be happy” and “staying on the right path” and considering how sanctimonious he is, you can’t help but think he’s implying that being in a gay relationship is something other than the right path.

Michael Lohan and his girlfriend Erin Muller at the Social Like Magazine Party in Water Mill, Long Island on July 4th. Images thanks to Fame.

Jason Statham has lunch at Sunset Plaza, looks damn fine. 8/4/08. He is also shown out at Foxtail Nightclub on 8/1/08
WENN and PER/Fame Pictures

Kim, Khloe and Kourtney Kardashian pose for the paps. 8/4/08
VAH/ Fame Pictures

The Rock vacations in Hawaii with his new girlfriend, Lauren Hashian. His divorce from his last wife was finalized in May. I could stare at this guy all day. 8/4/08
COB/Fame Pictures

Pink laughs with her makeup artist and hairstylist as she works on a new music video in LA. 8/4/08.
BOY/Fame Pictures

Katie Holmes continues to lobby for the baggy rolled up jean comeback outside of rehearsals for her play, All My Sons, in NY. 8/5/08.
DISCIULLO/ANDERSON/bauergriffinonline

Salma Hayek, Penelope Cruz, Scarlett Johansson and Javier Bardem at the LA Premiere of Vicky Cristina Barcelona 8/4/08
Adriana M. Barraza / WENN

Rihanna and Chris Brown go shopping on Melrose Boulevard. 8/4/08
MATEI/bauergriffinonline

Paris Hilton wears an “Our Love is For Real” t-shirt at the airport in Copenhagen with her boyfriend Benji Madden. She nips out later that day in a camisole. 8/4/05. The two stepped out today looking all matchy-matchy again in black and white t-shirts. Paris is promoting her cheap-looking handbag line, judging from the bags she’s carrying here.

The 10th annual Teen Choice Awards were held last night. Big winners were The Jonas Brothers and TV series Gossip Girl, and Miley Cyrus. Miley hosted the show and took home 3 “surfboards” for TV comedy, comic actress and female artist. The Jonas Brothers received 6 awards for choice single, love song, breakout group, choice male hottie(s) and choice red carpet fashion male, with even the last two awards going to the group and not a specific member. Gossip Girl won 6 awards in the TV category. Will Smith took home three for his films Hancock and I Am Legend. David Beckham was declared best male athlete, and his three and a half year-old son, Cruz, stole the show by breakdancing during his dad’s acceptance speech.

Cyrus had three reasons of her own to jump for joy, too – nabbing the prizes – which are surfboard trophies – for choice TV comedy, comic actress and female artist.

Top winner in the TV division was Gossip Girl, whose six awards included those for choice drama and breakout show – while its star, Chace Crawford was named choice breakout actor; Blake Lively, breakout female and TV drama actress; and Ed Westwick, who plays the antagonistic Chuck Bass, choice TV villain.

“I feel like I’m still a teenager, because I’m perpetually in high school,” Crawford told reporters backstage. “And I’m 23.”

The Jonas Brothers also won six awards: choice single, breakout group, love song, song of the summer, male red-carpet fashion icons and male hottie awards.

Introduced by The Office’s Rainn Wilson, Kevin, Joe and Nick made continuous appearances during the ceremony, thanks to a segment called “Ask the Jonas Brothers,” in which they answered questions sent in from fans on YouTube.

In the first, they are asked to describe the perfect date. Joe says it’s riding in white horse on the beach to pick up his date, then going to Paris, “maybe” Barcelona, “maybe” see a movie.

As for other winners, three surfboards went to Will Smith (one for Hancock and two for I Am Legend); Chris Brown accepted five music awards, including best male artist; Hayden Panettiere was best TV action-adventure actress; and David Beckham won best male athlete.

Bring his three sons on to the stage with him, Becks thanked America for accepting him. After his father’s speech, young Cruz Beckham suddenly broke into a break dance on stage as the crowd cheered him on.

[From People.com]

People Magazine reminds us that winners were chosen online through a popular vote, in which over 30 million votes were cast. The show can be seen tonight on Fox at 8pm EST.

Here are pictures of the arrivals including Scarlett Johansson, Fergie, Rainn Wilson, Sophia Bush, Kristen Bell, Katharine McPhee, Hayden Panettiere, Selena Gomez, Rachel Bilson, Brittany Snow, Stephanie Pratt, Phoebe Price, Tia Mowry, Josh Duhamel, Jerry O’Connell, Minka Kelly, Olivia Wilde, Zac Efron, Vanessa Hudgens, Will Smith, Lauren Conrad, Josh Holloway, Blake Lively, Miley Cyrus, Kim Kardashian, Jordin Sparks, The Jonas Brothers, Chris Brown, David Cook, Leighton Meester, and David Beckham.

Credit: Juan Rico/Fame Pictures. David Beckham pictures from WENN.

Leonardo DiCaprio was photographed smoking a cigarette and chilling out with a pair of binoculars on a yacht in Ibiza, Spain on Sunday. Photo agency Fame reports that there were women as well as men on the boat, but I only see one woman in a bikini in these pictures and DiCaprio was mostly seen hanging out with the guys. The Daily Mail has a photo of the woman standing next to DiCaprio, though. The 33 year-old actor’s on-off girlfriend, gorgeous supermodel Bar Rafaeli, 23, is on a different vacation in St. Tropez, France. She was photographed frolicking on the beach on Wednesday along with an unidentified male and female friend.

Leo and Bar were seen riding their bicycles together in New York in mid June. It’s hard to tell if they’re just friends now, if they’re together when it’s convenient for them, or if they have a more long term relationship.

Leo looks pretty good if only he’d give up the cigarettes. You’d figure someone as committed to environmental causes as he is wouldn’t be smoking.

DiCaprio will play Theodore Roosevelt in an upcoming biopic of the President, to be directed by Martin Scorsese and based on the book by Edmund Morris. DiCaprio has a busy schedule ahead of him, and has no less than six films scheduled for release in 2009, and two later this year according to IMDB.

Credit: ENF/Fame Pictures

Naomi Watts, Liev Schreiber, and a then 2 week-old Alexander Pete out on 8/10/07. Naomi let the paparazzi get the first photos of Alexander after he was born. Credit: Fame Pictures. Their friends Sacha Baron Cohen and Isla Fischer also took this same tactic with their newborn.
The gossip world was waiting for the unveiling of the Jolie-Pitt twins this Sunday, which got me thinking about what a paparazzi picture of a celebrity baby might be worth. Turns out, about $5 million. No wonder that paparazzo risked jail to get the first picture of Halle Berry’s daughter.

A PAPARAZZO competing for the first shot of Nicole Kidman and Keith Urban’s baby says the image would be worth up to $5 million.

“A picture like that would be worth four or five million around the world, if you got a nice picture of the baby’s face,” said photographer Peter Carrette, one of the many clamouring to get shots of Kidman when she returns to Sydney with Sunday Rose this weekend.

Kidman is due home to reshoot scenes for Baz Luhrmann’s Australia. Because she is expected to be bringing Sunday Rose to Australia for the first time, teams of photographers have been camped out at Sydney’s private jet base for at least three days.

“I don’t think she wants us to get a picture,” Carrette said. “If they had any sense they’d have a picture taken of her and Keith with the baby … release it and give all the proceeds to the [Sydney] Children’s Hospital at Randwick.”

Carette adds that Nicole could try Cate Blanchett’s strategy.

“Cate did the smart thing - I mean Cate produced her baby [newborn Ignatius] at Parliament House two days after it was born in front of all the international media, for nothing,” he said. “Nobody has doorstepped Cate since - why would you?”

Sydney Morning Herald

I had thought that Nicole Kidman might have released a baby picture for free, as she did of her wedding photos, but not yet! Maybe she’s waiting for the baby to get a little cuter – am I alone in thinking that newborn babies aren’t very pretty? I got into a lot of trouble with family members when I told them that ‘she’s small and red and ugly’ when my last daughter was born.

I know a lot of people have an opinion about pimping out your babies, but I think I’d rather see the money go into the child’s trust fund or to charity than to the paparazzi. Nicole is obviously going to some effort to keep her baby under wraps, so the pap that secures this deal is likely to be invading her privacy.

As Carette says, releasing your baby pictures stopped Cate Blanchett from getting door stopped, Unfortunately I don’t think this tactic will work for the Brangelina Camp, but it might just work for Nicole Kidman.

The article also says that Australian magazine New Idea paid $AUD 750,000 for the pictures of Viv and Knox Jolie-Pitt, so this probably means that while Hello and People have paid the majority of the $15 mil for the baby pictures, smaller magazines have also paid money for the pictures too, adding up the final total.

Another photo of a two week-old Alexander Pete Schreiber on 8/10/07. Credit: Fame.

Early Sunday morning, a shot was fired inside an Atlanta club where Jermaine Dupri was holding a party attended by several celebrities. According to reports, there was only one minor injury, a gunshot wound to the arm sustained by a bouncer, and no fatalities. Musicians and celebrities including Diddy, Nelly, Bow Wow, Usher, Nia Long and Gabrielle Union were in attendance, with some escorted quickly out by their bodyguards after the shooting. Others were forced to stay inside during an hour and a half investigation by police.

The shooting is thought to have occurred after angry club guests were being double-charged by staff to gain access to the VIP roped-off area containing the celebrities. A shoving match ensued, people were kicked out, and the shot was fired.

There was a lot of confusion after the incident and many were not sure what had happened. A DJ thought the shot was just a champagne bottle being opened. While some people got out quickly afterwards, some celebrities and members of the crowd were not so lucky. Police came and shut everyone up inside for an hour and a half while they tried to work out the details:

Your boy Nigel D. had on of the longest nights of his life last night at club Dreams in Atlanta. Jermaine Dupri was continuing his take over of the Atlanta with his SoSoDef Summerfest. The welcome to Atlanta party had J.D., Diddy, Usher, Nelly, Bow Wow, Gabrielle Union, Sanaa Lathan, Nia Long, Larenz Tate, Da Brat, Lisa Raye, several NBA players and more in the building. Everything was going great until shots went off inside the club.

Things were crazy, J.D., Usher, Diddy, Nelly, Gabrielle Union, Nia Long, etc. were all in the same section when tragedy occurred right after this picture. I didn’t actually hear a shot go off but seen people just started ducking. First it started on the right side of V.I.P. then it moved over to the left. Then all the celebs ducked and dipped with the quickness but some couldn’t get off the stage.

I wasn’t sure what the hell happened, the DJ made an announcement it wasn’t a gun shot, and said the speaker or a bottle poppin had made the the noise. So I chilled and went back to taking pics…

Things were crazy, J.D., Usher, Diddy, Nelly, Gabrielle Union, Nia Long, etc. were all in the same section when tragedy occurred… I didn’t actually hear a shot go off but seen people just started ducking. First it started on the right side of V.I.P. then it moved over to the left. Then all the celebs ducked and dipped with the quickness but some couldn’t get off the stage.

I wasn’t sure what the hell happened, the DJ made an announcement it wasn’t a gun shot, and said the speaker or a bottle poppin had made the the noise. So I chilled and went back to taking pics.

People calm down and the DJ claims it was just a bottle popping or the speaker that made the noise. I didn’t find out until later that there was actually a shooting in the club. But anyway after the scrambling I calmly got off the stage and made my to the exit. I did the quick NY walk and was out the building. I’m thinking my night is over but hell no it wasn’t. The person I drove with was stuck in side. Cops shut down the entire club and no one could leave for about a hour and half. That included all the celebrities in attendance. So I was just stuck outside waiting for them to let people out. People inside were panicking trying to escape, it was a complete MESS! Even all the celebs were stuck inside until the cops gave them clearance.

[From Real Talk NY]

TMZ makes it sound like Diddy, Usher, Gabrielle Union and Larenz Tate got out after the shooting and weren’t stuck inside as the cops investigated. Diddy was carried out by his bodyguards as he clutched a bottle of champagne.

Jermaine Dupri has put out a statement about the shooting, saying “I’m sad this incident happened because it interrupted a beautiful and loving party. I’m happy none of my people or friends got hurt. And the party continues.” Maybe next time they’ll have the party at someone’s mansion instead.

Photos are from Real Talk NY. You can see more on their site and on TMZ.

Katie Holmes is seen in NY outside of rehearsals for her Broadway play, Arthur Miller’s “All My Sons.” Photo agency Fame notes that baggy rolled up jeans could be the next trend since Rachel Bilson wore the same thing yesterday. 7/31/08.
A Miller / WENN; Fame Pictures

Rachel Bilson runs errands in LA. Those are some funky shoes she’s wearing. 7/30/08.
Boy/Fame Pictures

Britney Spears is back from her well documented vacation in Los Cabos, Mexico. 7/31/08
WENN

A newly single Salma Hayek shops in Beverly Hills with her 10 month old daughter, Valentina Paloma Pinault. Is that a niece with her? 7/31/08
WENN

Liv Tyler and her estranged husband, Royston Langdon, with their three and a half year-old son, Milo, at a recording studio in LA. They met with members of Royston’s band Spacehog at the studio. 7/31/08.
Fame pictures

Matthew McConaughey goes for a run with his trainer while Camila Alves takes newborn Levi for a walk. She looks amazing for just having had a baby less than four weeks ago. 8/1/08
Fame pictures

Cheech and Chong hold a press conference to announce their new comedy tour “Cheech & Chong: Light Up America” 7/30/08.
Albert L. Ortega / PR Photos

Chris Ciccone signs copies of Life with My Sister Madonna at Book Soup in West Hollywood, CA. 7/31/08.
Axelle / Bauer-Griffin.com

Supermodel Bar Rafaeli on vacation in St. Tropez, France. 7/30/08.
Credit: Fame pictures

Katie Price (aka “glamour model” Jordan) really doesn’t seem to have any idea that she’s not part of the upper echelon of society. I can’t claim to be totally in the know about who’s who in the U.K., but I’m pretty sure that if each one of your fake breasts is bigger than your head, you’re not going to be considered A-list anywhere. It’s a worldwide thing.

Katie is absolutely livid that she wasn’t invited to attend the Cartier Polo International match last weekend. To be fair, it wasn’t the most elite event: 35,000 other people were invited. But in Cartier’s defense, if Jordan came they would have had to cut the guest list down to 33,000 to make enough room for her boobs.

Jordan wrote a very upset piece for the Times Online in which she complains about being told she was “not the sort of person” Cartier wanted at the event. Here’s a few excerpts:

…I’m a successful author and businesswoman, a rider, I am learning to play polo and I compete in dressage events. I rode my first horse when I was 7, and saved up to rent my first pony, Star, when I was 11. He was the ugliest, hairiest pony in the yard but I adored him. My mum couldn’t afford for me to go to Pony Club but it didn’t stop me going to gymkhanas. I just wanted to beat all those smart little girls in their perfect jodphurs and jackets.

All my life I’ve been surrounded by horses, I earned my pocket money sweeping out stables and I now have six horses. I’ve been invited to take part in the Royal Horse of the Year show, I’ve even played a charity polo match at Cowdray Park.

My book Perfect Ponies: My Pony Care Book was shortlisted for the WHSmith children’s prize and I have written a bestselling series of stories about ponies. I know more about fetlocks and forelocks than most of the celebrities invited by Cartier and the Chinawhite nightclub. I’ve certainly mucked out more horses.

It’s pure snobbery. However good a horsewoman I may be, I’m also a glamour model. That embarrassed the organisers. I paid Chinawhite £6,000 for my table, but my manager was told that I was not the sort of person they wanted. Eliza Doolittle went to the races with Henry Higgins after a few elocution lessons, In Pretty Woman Julia Roberts went to the polo straight from Sunset Boulevard, but in the 21st century we have become even more class-ridden. Unless you are a toff or an aspiring actress, they don’t want you.

Polo should be for people who love horses, not a media charade. It should be about the sport. Horses are a wonderful hobby, one that gets you outside and keeps you fit. They should be for everyone - little girls, glamour girls, working-class girls like me. No one should be excluded.

[From the Times Online]

When I started writing this article I was translating all the British slang and equine terms in [brackets] above. But there’s so much of it that I’m just going to summarize: Katie Price is pissed. And she knows some big horse words to back it up. It annoys the crap out of me, but she actually has a really good point, especially at the end. I understand that Cartier and Jordan mix together like oil and water. But Katie Price clearly loves horses and has talked about it for a long time – even aiming for the Olympic equestrian team.

I never thought I’d defend Jordan, but she does have a successful career she built from nothing; she worked hard even as a little girl to be around horses and she hasn’t outgrown that love. She paid a lot of money like everyone else, only to hear that her $12,000 wasn’t good enough. I hope Cartier doesn’t make the same mistake next year. Because I really don’t ever want to agree with Katie Price again.

Here’s Katie Price promoting her new bedding range at Matalan Milton Keynes, England on Wednesday. Photographer: Vince Maher; Images thanks to WENN.

- Despite rumors everywhere yesterday claiming that Britney Spears is dating one of her bodyguards, a rumor helped along by these pictures of them dancing by the pool in Mexico last weekend, her manager says it is simply not true [WWTDD]
- Salma Hayek Is Looking So…..Rich [Dlisted]
- This is Katie Holmes today in NYC, thankfully NOT wearing those jeans [Lainey Gossip]
- John Mayer is a Hard Bodied Soft Rocker [Fafarazzi]
- Jay-Z was looking rather distant from Beyonce (and her stained up pants) as they left the Spotted Pig in NYC last night [Bossip]
- The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor - not so enthralling [Pajiba]
- Verne Troyer Accuses Sex Tape Partner of Unsolicited Dwarf Tossing [Defamer]
- Kelly Ripa At The Premiere of Fly Me To The Moon [I’m Not Obsessed]
- David Archuleta’s “Crush” — Love it or Leave it? [PopSugar]
- Selena Gomez out and about in New York [Celebslam]
- Alicia Silverstone. What. The fuck. Really? You’re out of work for how long and this is how you show up dressed for a movie premiere? [Websters is my Bitch]
- Christina Milian Goes With The 80s/90s Perm! [The Bastardly]
- Nereida Gallardo lost her top. I hate when that happens [The Blemish]
- Denise Richards was spotted sunbathing with her daughters, Sam and Lola in Malibu [Celebrity Baby Scoop]
- Serena Williams See Through Photoshoot Nightmare (site NSFW) [Drunken Stepfather]
- That Miley Cyrus is a Huge Bitch [Yeeeah!]
- 90210v2.0: The First Cast Photo [Evil Beet]
- Michael Douglas Drunk & Sloppy - Just the way Catherine Zeta-Jones likes him [CityRag]
- Paula Abdul & ex rekindling their romance? [In Case You Didn’t Know]
- Snoop Dogg’s Tour Bus Busted For Pot. I know, truly surprising [Hollywood Rag]
- We love Jimmy Kimmel Live’s FU to Exxon Mobile for bragging that they made almost $12 billion in profits in just 3 months, while the rest are going broke trying to pay for gas to get to work [Seriously? OMG! WTF?]
- Dark Knight Conspiracies Are Getting Dirty [Agent Bedhead]
- . Because of the WGA strike last year and the fact the Golden Globes weren’t televised, the HFPA decided they wanted to make Rumer Willis, Mr. Golden Globes again. Ugh [Crazy Days and Nights]
- Kim Kardashian Eats Ice Cream. In a totally non-sexual way [The Skinny]
- Every guy’s dream: Victoria Secret Angels Gone Wild [Derek Hail]
- High School Musical Is Clearly Just Printing Money At This Point [Best Week Ever]
- Last night was the LA premiere of James Franco and Seth Rogen’s weed-filled Pineapple Express, which attracted a vast array of celebrities. Nobody quite knows for sure how Adrianne Curry was invited, but those in attendance were graced with the presence of Kanye West and his odd shoes [Mollygood]
- Variety Honors, Offends Women in Entertainment [Jezebel]
- Dr. Phil’s wife can’t take it anymore [Popbytes]
- Video: Mariah Carey on Jimmy Kimmel Live [ShowHype]

Oprah Winfrey may be one of the world’s richest women, but that doesn’t mean she is immune from the same problems as many other people. The dilemma of caring for her ailing 73-year-old mom is causing the talk show diva a lot of stress. According to the National Enquirer, Oprah’s mom is as feisty and independent as her daughter, and refuses to move in with her or go to an assisted living facility.

“Oprah is facing the same dilemma as many other Americans- her mother Vernita Lee can no longer live independently and her doctors say it’s time for assisted living,” a long time family friend told The Enquirer. “Oprah is devastated. She is devoted to her mother, but Vernita Lee won’t accept the idea.”

Vernita now lives in a Milwaukee condominium that Oprah bought for her. While she’s fiercely independent, her health is failing, according to the source.

“She’s a severe diabetic, her eyesight is failing and she barely gets around with a cane. She’s also becoming increasingly forgetful,” said the family friend.

Vernita’s condo building has a doorman and 24-hour security, but she’s refusing to get live-in help or even a companion, said the source.

“Obviously, it’s not a money problem - and Oprah would love to have her mother live with her full time in Chicago. But Vernita insists on living on her own, and Oprah is starting to freak out,” said the friend.

Oprah came up with what she thought was the ideal solution - moving Vernita into a facility that’s only two blocks away from her current home. Called St. John’s on the Lake, residents can live in their own apartments and receive assisted care for their personal needs, daily activities and monitoring of medications.

But when Oprah brought up the idea, “Vernita burst into tears,” said the source.

Adding to Oprah’s worries, she recently called her mom’s home and got no answer.

When she confronted her mom, Vernita was typically dismissive,” said the source. “She told Oprah, ‘Oh honey, I was probably sleeping. Or when my knees are hurting, I just let the phone ring. You don’t need to worry about me. Let me worry about me!’”

[From the National Enquirer print version, Aug. 11, 2008]

This is a tough situation for anyone, and it goes to prove that none of us can fix everything with money. I remember when my grandfather was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s, it was a very difficult decision to put him into a nursing home that specialized in Alzheimer’s patients. But after the second time he managed to “escape” from my grandparents’ home, get the keys to my grandmother’s car, drive himself to the middle of nowhere and get completely lost, we all knew it was time. It must be agonizing for Oprah to be constantly worrying about her mom- did she take her medication? Has she fallen down without anyone knowing? Is she eating ok? I know I would be a total mess. Hopefully Oprah and the rest of the family can help her mom understand that assisted living isn’t the same as a “nursing home” and she’ll still be free to come and go as she pleases.

Oprah is shown in London on 6/25/08. Credit: WENN