Some people are just inherently classy, and there’s nothing you can do about it. You’ll say to them, “Hey, why don’t you relax, be a little more casual, you’re getting borderline uptight with all of your sophistication. Come mingle with the commoners.” Porn star/former California gubernatorial candidate Mary Carey is just such a lady. Not content with organizing a bake sale, Carey has decided to auction off her recently-removed 36-D implants and donate part of the money to the Susan G. Komen Breast Cancer Foundation. The rest of the funds will go towards paying her mother’s medical bills. She jumped off a four-story building in 2006, and obviously suffered major injuries. She’s had 11 surgeries since then.

So far the bidding is at $210 with 44 bids. There’s a little over eight days left. The eBay listing notes:

Have a very “Mary” Christmas and win the best stocking stuffer of all time. Mary Carey… is giving holiday shoppers an opportunity to take home what could be the seasons’ best stocking stuffer - her recently removed breast implants.

“Now that I’m sober, I wanted a new physical state to go along with my new mental state,” said Carey. “I thought the auction would be a great way to spread some holiday cheer and to make sure someone out there has a Mary Mary Christmas.”

[From eBay]

Mary is one of the participants on VH1’s upcoming “Celebrity Rehab with Dr. Drew. “ VH1 hasn’t said what addictions each of the participants is dealing with. But apparently the breast implants have to do with her sobriety… and her mother… Carey gives a rather convoluted reason that I could interpret several ways, if I wanted to sit around and try to get into her head.

“I’m actually overall very anti-plastic surgery,” Carey said. “I watched my mom go through 11 surgeries (for her injuries) and it’s like, for me to voluntarily put myself through that, the only right thing to do is make money and donate it to charity.” Carey said the size 36-D implants were taken out two weeks ago and replaced with larger 36-DDDs and while under anesthesia she realized they could be used to raise money for breast cancer research. “The doctors asked me what I wanted to do with them and I said, ‘You know what, I’m going to keep them and try to sell them. Because my grandmother had breast cancer,” Carey told Reuters in an interview. “Now that I’m sober, I wanted a new physical state to go along with my new mental state. I thought the auction would be a great way to spread some holiday cheer and to make sure someone out there has a Mary Mary Christmas.”

[From Gossip Boulevard]

Oh my. I don’t know what I can add to that. I guess it’s a good thing that maybe her heart is in the right place? Probably? Considering the whole situation with her mother, I really don’t feel like I should be making jokes. So I’m just trying to present the statements Mary has given, with as little commentary as possible. Wikipedia notes that Mary’s mother has Fetal alcohol syndrome, and IMDB says she’s also been diagnosed with schizophrenia. Mary’s father has s cerebral palsy. Her grandparents got custody of her when she was three months old and later adopted her. Eventually her mother came to live with them as well. I have no idea to what extent porn stars are honest about their pasts and what’s invented, but the general story on the internet is that Mary’s grandparents put her in dance classes, in which she excelled and performed with the Miami City Ballet when she was 12. She won several dance scholarships, and ended up at Florida State University’s dance team. Her grandparents both got sick and she started working as a stripper, and then a porn star, to support the family. Depending on its accuracy, it’s an interesting and sad story. Never thought I’d say this, but it makes me hope Mary Carey’s implants fetch a lot of money. Bid away, readers.

Recently engaged author and first daughter Jenna Bush is getting some flak from the Writer’s Guild for crossing picket lines to film a promotional appearance with Ellen DeGeneres. Bush Junior junior is still plugging her book “Ana’s Story: A Journey of Hope” about a young woman she met in Latin America who was born with HIV and got pregnant. Touching premise. **Cough cough ghostwriter cough cough** [JayBird looks around nervously]. Remember Jenna is the less-intelligent/harder-partying twin who couldn’t get into Yale even though her dad-the-current-president and her grandfather-the-former-president and twin sister all attended. I know Yale requires the absolute best of the best, but how bad must your grades be if they have to say, “I’m sorry Mr. President, we can only take one twin.” Alright I’m done with the Bush bashing. Jenna’s being called a scab for crossing the picket lines and going on “Ellen” yesterday (airing today). It was ironically pointed out that it’s the President’s job to prevent labor strife. Whoops.

Jenna actually filmed a pretty cute sounding interview. We, the naïve and trusting viewers, are meant to believe that Ellen talks Jenna into an unplanned phone call to her parents, live on the air. It comes off pretty well, which means there’s no way in hell W was surprised. That man can barely string three rudimentary words together with a Speak & Spell; there’s no way he could sound like a semi-normal human being when he’s “surprised” by his daughter calling from a TV show. But let’s play dumb and pretend to think it’s adorable.

Pleasantly prodding the First Daughter during a taping of her show… DeGeneres inquired if Bush could get her high-powered papa on the phone any time she wants. “I usually call him in the evening or in the morning, when I know they’ll both be at home,” said the 26-year-old. “Could you just pick up the phone like right now and call him?” wondered a wide-eyed Ellen. “Sure,” replies Bush. “He’s going to kill me, though.

DeGeneres, meanwhile, says that if Jenna’s parents don’t answer, she’ll get Jenna’s grandfather, former President George Herbert Walker Bush, on the phone, and observes: “We’re not barging in while they’re in their pajamas or something.” Once Bush gets through to First Lady Laura Bush, she says, “Hi, Mom.” Asking how the show is going, Mom says, “I’m not watching you because you’re taping right now.” She also tells her daughter, “I’m just sitting here with Daddy.”

Pipes up Ellen: “I wanted to say hi to Daddy.” And so, the President of the United States comes to the phone, and is told by his offspring, “This is the Ellen DeGeneres Show. Are You Mad?’

“Well, that’s great!” says the surprised Chief Executive, who asks DeGeneres, “How’s my little girl doing?” “Oh, she’s great,” answers the host. “She’s scared she’s going to get in trouble [and] not going to get any Christmas presents.” Pause. “Dad?” asks Jenna. “Yes, baby,” he replies. “Are you mad?” she inquires. “No, not at all,” says President Bush. “I’m excited to talk to you. I’m glad to talk to Ellen.”

[From People]

Yeah it made me feel annoyingly warm and fuzzy too. I’m hoping once it actually airs I’ll find that it’s trite, hackneyed, and cold. Or other negative adjectives. I feel like I’ve been duped, as to read it, it came off as mildly adorable. Now I feel cheap and used. Ahh, now that’s the feeling I’m used to from the Bushes.

You know how we enjoy ragging on Heather Mills? Well we just got a little more fuel for the fire. The queen of self-righteousness has long claimed that – while she did a bit of nude posing here and there – it was only tasteful topless stuff. Somehow, no one bought it. Maybe because every third word out of that woman’s mouth is a lie, and she has no concept of reality. Well lucky for the 99.9% of the world that can’t stand her, nude, provocative porn photos of Heather Mills have finally been unearthed – and are scheduled to hit the internet any day now. Don’t worry, I won’t make you look at them now. I’m sure that image is about as appealing as… God, I honestly can’t think of anything as unappealing as a naked Heather Mills. She’s just so shrill and angry. I can’t explain why, but somehow I imagine her body parts are very sharp and angular. Kind of like her face.

Explicit photographs of Paul McCartney’s estranged wife Heather Mills have been unearthed, contradicting her claims that she was never a porn star. The full-frontal snaps show Mills posing on a bed in lacy red corset and stockings with her breasts exposed and her legs spread open to display her private parts.

In the article accompanying the provocative shots, which featured in an X-rated magazine, Mills boasts: “I’m gonna drive you crazy with my body…” The images, taken before Mills lost her leg in road accident in 1993, will come as a blow to the animal rights campaigner, having recently hit out at the press for describing her glamour modeling past as a career in porn.

She ranted, “They (the media) eliminate the whole 20 years of my life campaigning and put in things like hardcore porn queen.” But the latest expose will come as an embarrassment to Mills, as she has continually insisted she was just a topless model and did not participate in any porn photoshoots.

[From Starpulse]

Tee hee. This makes me happy. Actually pretty much anything that makes Heather Mills mad makes me happy. I used to avoid eating red meat and try not to purchase things from companies that test on animals. But then I found out that Heather Mills goes apeshit about that stuff, and it made me want to eat veal, just to piss her off.

I’m guessing that Heather will now come up with some bull about how she meant she never did porn movies, and these are just dirty pictures. She’s just a hypocritical piece of trash. Either way, the photos are pretty much useless - they’ll just serve to embarrass her. I don’t think there’s a man alive that can manage to view Heather Mills in a sexual way. These photos are going to do to lovemaking stamina what even Bea Arthur couldn’t accomplish.

Picture note by Celebitchy: JayBird might not want to subject you to that photo, but I have no qualms about it. The linked version is NSFW but it’s only topless. This really isn’t much dirtier than earlier pictures that came out (link NSFW.) I think that they just want to remind us of these pictures. Thanks to News of The World for the header image.

Who knew that Alec Baldwin cared about childhood obesity further than calling his young daughter a “vile little pig”? Turns out it’s an issue near and dear to Alec’s heart, and as a result he’s written a public letter to presidential hopeful Hillary Clinton, urging her to vote no on the massive $10 billion farm bill which is now before the senate. The bill subsidizes farmers who provide unhealthy foods to schools.

The “30 Rock” star wants the Democratic White House hopeful to vote “no” on the $10 billion farm bill, now before the Senate, that would give subsidies to farmers who provide cheese, sugar and other fattening foods to schools.

“As you are well aware, the epidemic of childhood obesity is worsening day by day, leading to higher risks of diabetes, heart disease and several forms of cancer,” the actor wrote Monday in a personal letter to Clinton and each of her fellow senators. “I know that you share my concern about this crucial issue. As a parent, I see firsthand the challenges of keeping children focused on healthful foods. These challenges are made all the more difficult by federal policies that keep high-cholesterol, high-sugar foods all too plentiful in schools. .. There has never been a more urgent time to take action.

[From the New York Daily News]

Alec Baldwin isn’t exactly someone I’d call in great shape. He’s not disgusting by any means, but I am a little surprised that he’s interested in this issue. It’s kind of like when Dr. Phil talks about his “Ultimate Weight Solution,” and you’re sitting there wondering why he hasn’t read his own book. Alec Baldwin’s situation isn’t to the same extent as Dr. Phil’s, but something tells me he’s been on the business end of a block of cheese on more than one occasion recently.

Baldwin has teamed up with the Committee for Responsible Medicine to encourage senators to vote no on the farm bill. When asked how he thought Hillary Clinton would vote, Kyle Ash, a spokesperson for the Physicians Committee said:

“I think she’s vacillating. I do think she’d like to vote for something healthier for kids, but the last time we met with her staff, they told us she was concerned about dairy farmers. Dairy is a big industry in New York. Clinton’s spokesman Philippe Reines told us: “Sen. Clinton has a strong and long record of promoting healthy foods for children, and has worked to strengthen programs that promote fruits and vegetables.”

[From the New York Daily News]

Dairy may be a big important industry for New York, but childhood obesity is at epidemic proportions there. I’d never seen so many chubby little kids until I moved to Brooklyn. And I don’t say that in a mean way; I was always the chubby kid in class (but I was also 5 feet tall on the first day of third grade, you know how kids’ bodies fluctuate). It’s just startling and worrisome to look around and see what appears to be a quarter of the kids on the subway sporting huge round bellies. I’m not sure that voting against the farm bill will make a big difference though. It seems like there’s a lot of issues that need to be tackled, starting with better nutrition and exercise at home, and getting rid of vending machines in schools. I really don’t think too much cheese is the issue. Though I find it kind of bizarre that Alec Baldwin has thrown his weight around (so to speak) on this issue, if it helps get some needed attention, more power to them all.

I love the way Stephen Colbert takes jokes way too far. There was the time he claimed that African elephants were no longer endangered and expanded in number to three times their previous population in just six months. As a result, so many changes had been posted to Wikipedia that they had to block access to both the “elephant” and “Stephen Colbert” articles. He’s more the willing to take his humor beyond his show and mess with the everyday as well. I think all is fair in love and humor, but even I’m a little surprised that Colbert is actually trying to get his name on the South Carolina primary ballot – because I’m presuming it’s all for a joke. That’s a really, really involved joke – but if you’re really committed to it, I guess you have to take it all the way.

It’s no joke: Stephen Colbert really is running for president. The mock conservative pundit, 43, is expected to file paperwork Thursday to enter South Carolina’s Democratic primary, CNN reports. Colbert announced his bid October 16, declaring on his Comedy Central show The Colbert Report that he would run as both a Democrat and Republican so “I can lose twice.” Perhaps price made him change his mind? The fee to get on the GOP ballot is $35,000. (Colbert only has to cough up $2,500 — or get 3,000 signatures — to get on the Democrat ballot.)

But Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton shouldn’t start worrying just yet: South Carolina Democratic officials will meet Thursday to determine whether Colbert is “nationally viable” and has spent enough time campaigning in his home state before putting him on the ballot, according to CNN.

[From Us Weekly]

Something tells me Colbert won’t be deemed “nationally viable” – though I’m pretty sure he could take a chunk of votes away from other Democrats and really mess with the polls. It’ll probably make for some good clips on his show, though I would have found it much more amusing to mess with the Republicans. Does anyone else find it telling that you have to pony up $35,000 to run as a Republican, but only $2,500 (or 3,000 signatures) to run as a Democrat? You’d think that, if nothing else, Comedy Central could have dug the money up. Colbert vs. Obama? Mildly amusing. Colbert vs. Giuliani? Now that’s funny.

Update by JayBird: Lifeline Live just reported: “South Carolina Democrats don’t think Stephen Colbert’s presidential bid is all that funny. Colbert filed to get on the ballot as a Democratic candidate in his native South Carolina. His campaign paid a $2,500 filing fee just before the noon deadline today, but after about 40 minutes of discussion by top party officials, the executive council voted 13-3 to keep the host of The Colbert Report off the ballot. “He’s really trying to use South Carolina Democrats as suckers so he can further a comedy routine,” said Waring Howe, a member of the executive council. He will be able to get his money back.”

Angelina Jolie has said that the only thing she argues about with Brad is politics, and maybe she told him he better not support presidential candidate Barack Obama, or maybe the report a couple of days ago that Brad was rejected by Obama’s camp was false. Brad’s rep has denied that he offered support to Obama, so he couldn’t have been told to take a hike if he never offered to help:

“Not only is the rumor not true, Brad has never even talked to the Obama campaign. Like many Americans Brad is learning more about the candidates and will make a decision about who to support in the coming months,” said Pitt’s political advisor Trevor Neilson.

[From TransworldNews]

The story originated with The NY Daily News, which quoted an unnamed source. It sounded pretty plausible to me, especially considering an earlier tabloid story that Angelina once threw wine at Brad because he supports Obama while she feels passionately that John Edwards should be the next US president.

Meanwhile the “Angelina is pregnant!” rumor is being warmed up for our eager consumption again. She canceled a speaking gig in Italy over “personal reasons” and some random person “confirmed” her pregnancy in a vague way, so it must be true:

Angelina Jolie abruptly cancelled plans for a speaking gig in Italy this week — something about how children are our future — and this has sent the Italian papers into a frenzy of speculation that she’s too busy throwing up because she’s pregnant. And somebody at the conference venue, near Rimini, said this: “Due to her privacy I can’t confirm her pregnancy, but I can say that the Italian newspapers are correct in their reports.”

[From Canada.com]

Angelina was at the International Women’s Media Foundation 18th Annual Courage in Journalism Awards on Tuesday, and while she posed with her hands crossed over her stomach at one point there was no real bump there. Cate Blanchett is surely pregnant, but instead of covering her obvious news the papers are constantly speculating on the state of Angelina’s womb. Maybe if Cate’s husband was more famous and she traipsed around paparazzi hotspots with her kids for a while we’d get more stories about her upcoming third child.

Header image is from Splash News. The other images below are from PR Photos.

Hollywood stars have long been known for throwing their support behind politicians. It can be helpful or hurtful, depending on the celebrity in question. Brad Pitt, who has become much more politically and socially active in the last few years, has followed many of his celebrity peers and thrown his support behind Barack Obama – even offering to campaign for him. Unfortunately it seems the Obama campaign doesn’t really have any use – or any need – for Pitt, and has politely declined his offer.

Would Brad Pitt be a liability for Barack Obama? When the socially conscious star offered to help the Democratic contender’s presidential campaign, he was turned down, our sources report. The overture was made through intermediaries, and it’s not known whether the Illinois senator was even aware of Pitt’s offer to make appearances on his behalf.

Obama’s advisers felt Pitt was “a great guy,” said a knowledgeable source, but they didn’t want their candidate - who already has the endorsements of Pitt pals George Clooney and Matt Damon - to appear to be “too Hollywood.” What’s more, as politically correct as Pitt’s partner, Angelina Jolie, is now, the source ruminated that it might be hard for some Americans to forget that she used to wear a vial of blood around her neck. Pitt’s spokeswoman told us, “I double-checked with Brad, and he has no affiliation with a candidate at this time.”

[From the New York Daily News]

It makes sense that Obama wouldn’t want too many celebrities tooting his horn – and he has plenty of them on board already (besides Clooney and Damon). Politics are all about strategy, and it’s imperative that Obama come off as just as intelligent and serious as Clinton. Too much Hollywood and he might appear comparatively “fluffy.” Plus as great as Angelina is, she could be a major political liability, opening up anyone associated with her to unsavory digs.

George Clooney says that while he was a bit surprised that Obama’s campaign wasn’t interested in Pitt, it did make sense.

When we ran it by Clooney, he said: “That would surprise me” - and yet, he understood. “I saw it with my father’s campaign for Congress in 2004,” Clooney said of his dad, Nick. “Being a celebrity can actually be a liability.”

Damon echoed Clooney’s sentiments when he told us: “I’m supporting Obama, and I thought George [Clooney] said it really well when he spoke to the senator. He said, ‘I’ll support you in any way I can, including staying at home and shutting my mouth.’ “I’d like to help him - I think he’s a wonderful man and would be a great leader, and I’d reiterate what George says: I’ll help him in any way I can, including getting out of the way.”

[From the New York Daily News]

I like that idea that the most helpful thing sometimes is just to get out of the way. It shows there’s no ego involved. Something tells me that as the primaries get closer, Obama may become a bit more interested in Pitt – at least if his poll numbers keep sliding.

Picture note by Jaybird: Here’s Barak Obama campaigning in Miami recently. Image thanks to PR Photos.

San Francisco is a quirky city. It’s liberal, it’s fun, it’s weird, and it works. But Mayor Gavin Newsom sometimes seems like he’s a little off his rocker. He’s really forward thinking, which is great. He’s done a lot for gay rights, and participates in the gay pride parade every year. Wikipedia notes, “He caused a major uproar in 2004 when he issued a directive to the city-county clerk to issue marriage licenses to same-sex couples. Newsom claimed the California Constitution’s equal protection clause as his authority to do so, and decided to perform the marriages after attending President Bush’s State of the Union address.” But sometimes he does less-than-intelligent things too. Like cheating on his uber-hot wife, CNN legal correspondent Kimberly Guilfoyle with his deputy chief of staff’s wife. Or “accidentally” proclaiming February 23, 2007 Colt Studio Day, in honor of the 40th anniversary of the gay pornography studio. As a result of that little mishap, the local officials had to impose much stricter rules regarding proclamations in an attempt to reign in Newsom. You can see how honoring gay porn could be bad politically.

For some reason that’s beyond me, Newsom decided it would be appropriate to honor Snoop Dogg and give him an award at the Exotic Erotic Ball. Apparently he’s been stopped… just in the nick of time.

The mayor of San Francisco has changed his mind about honoring rapper Snoop Dogg, after local officials imposed tighter rules regarding proclamations.

Snoop Dogg — real name Calvin Broadus — was due to be presented with a proclamation by a representative from Mayor Gavin Newsom’s Office of Criminal Justice during the rapper’s performance at the Exotic Erotic Ball on Friday.

But the honor was withdrawn on Wednesday after new legislation was brought in to prevent a repeat of a previous incident, in which Mayor Newsom accidentally proclaimed February 23 Colt Studio Day, celebrating the 40th anniversary of a local gay pornography studio.

The Colt Studio announcement caused outrage in the local community earlier this year, and the local authorities hope to avoid further criticism for honoring a celebrity known for his advocacy of marijuana and allegiance with the Los Angeles gang the Crips.

But Howard Mauskopf, producer of the Exotic Erotic Ball, is not happy with the retraction.

He tells AllHipHop.com, “All we can really do is roll our eyes. What you have here is a Mayor who I think means to do the right thing, but ended up getting fried in the national press.

“Instead of him standing up for the community, he kowtowed to the Bill O’Reilly’s of the world and instituted a stricter policy. So when it reached a final decision for this proclamation to be reviewed by this new committee, they felt it was too commercial because of the Ball’s sexual nature and Snoop’s past.”

Outspoken talkshow host O’Reilly has previously called for a boycott of rap music because of the presence of allegedly misogynistic lyrics.

[From the San Francisco Gate]

I’m still left pretty unclear about exactly what Snoop’s done that they felt needed honoring. Congrats, you haven’t been accused of murder this year? I think when you get to the point that you’re randomly honoring Snoop Dogg, your political career isn’t heading in the direction you hoped for.

Picture note by Jaybird: Here’s Snoop at the 2007 VH1 Hip Hop Honors on October 4th. Images thanks to PR Photos.

Jake Gyllenhaal enjoys running….just not for office. His views on topical subjects are clear and well voiced, but Jake insists that his career path will not stray into the political. His honest answer when it comes to stars taking their power to the legislation process makes it clear that it’s not for him.

“The Rendition star has made no secret of his strong political views but would never follow in Arnold Schwarzenegger’s footsteps. He says, “I think it’s a sad time when actors become politicians and politicians become actors, but actually the two roles do overlap. I don’t want to run for office, though I am an active member of the Civil Liberties Union.”

[Starpulse]

I am guessing Jake didn’t exactly vote for Schwarzenegger. George Clooney is another actor with strong ties to all things political. While Clooney manages to remain eloquent during most interviews, Jake sometimes stumbles. During an interview with The Daily Mail he dives into a story that made me question my infatuation with him. In one of those “everyone says stupid things” moments he answered a rather blasé question with a bizarre answer.

“Who would you like to be stuck in an elevator with?

I know this isn’t quite the same, but I was stuck in a woman’s bathroom once with Susan Sarandon. She was interviewing me for a magazine and we couldn’t find a battery for our recording device so we ended up in a woman’s bathroom. I discovered two things that day: that the floor in a woman’s bathroom is colder than the floor in the men’s. And, believe me, I’ve spent a lot of time on the floor of a men’s bathroom so I should know! And women pee louder than men do, even though we might expect not. Maybe it’s just American women? I don’t know.”

I am hoping this was just a typical frat boy experience story that went terribly wrong. Nevertheless, the segment has caused more of the “gay rumors” to gain momentum. Whatever his sexual preference is doesn’t really matter, I mean as long as he still runs around shirtless from time to time… I am happy.

Picture note by Celebitchy: Jake Gyllenhaal is shown at the Rendition photocall at the Rome Film Festival on 10/21/07, thanks to PRPhotos.

I don’t normally watch “Real Time with Bill Maher” if for no other reason than I watch about 23 other political shows a week and he’s hard to fit into my jam-packed schedule. But I know the guy is good, if a little feisty. I just didn’t realize how feisty. Some 9/11 activists got into Maher’s audience while smuggling in signs under their shirts. During filming for the live show, one of them started screaming something about 9/11 being a conspiracy, and interrupted the panelists. Maher told the guy to shut up, but he did it a few more times until Maher finally asked, “Don’t we have any f****** security here?” The guy was taken away - but not before Maher, clearly pretty angry at this point - ran into the audience and helped take the guy out.

Bill Maher can add “security guard” to his job description alongside comedian and political commentator. Maher on Friday night helped security remove a rowdy protester from the studio during his weekly HBO show “Real Time with Bill Maher,” and it was all captured on live television. Maher was talking science during one of his weekly panel discussions when a protester in his audience stood up, held up a smuggled-in sign reading “9/11 is a cover up fraud” and shouted comments to the same effect.

The host tried to shout down the audience member, who only became more agitated. “Do we have some (expletive) security in this building,” Maher yelled, “or do I have to come down there and kick his (expletive)?” When security reached the man’s aisle and the man resisted leaving, Maher ran into the seats and helped them push him out the door, shouting “Out! Out! Out!” Several other protesters, sprinkled throughout the audience, then stood up and shouted. “This isn’t the Iowa Caucus, OK, we’re not here to debate,” Maher shouted with most of his audience cheering him on. “This is the problem with live television.”

After the instigators were ejected, Maher told his panelists — MSNBC’s Chris Matthews, Los Angeles Times columnist Joel Stein and Congresswoman Sheila Jackson — that they often linger outside his studio to share 9/11 conspiracy theories with him and try to get into the show. “It’s the only time I defend Bush,” he said.

[From the Associated Press]

My favorite quote from the night? Maher telling the conspiracy guys to be quiet, noting, “You’re in the audience. Audience comes from the Latin, ‘to listen.’” That really is the issue with live television – you just can’t control for all the variables. Sure you can work to make sure the lights don’t fail and the guests have enough water – but you never know when a total crazy will rip off all his clothes and make a beeline for the stage. One day… here’s hoping.