As we discussed yesterday, Duchess Kate is the cover girl on this week’s Us Weekly. It’s all about her pregnancy secrets or whatever. Us Weekly claims that Kate and William do know the sex of the baby but they’re only telling his dad and her parents, and if it’s a girl they already have a name picked out: Elizabeth Diana Carole. Us Weekly also says that Will and Kate have nicknamed the fetus “our little grape”. Which is cute. Personally, I would be interested in hearing about some of speculation and wrangling behind-the-scenes as to the heir’s title. Obviously, many of you know much more about titles and peerages and all of that, so correct me if I’m wrong, but doesn’t the Queen decide what title this child will have? Will she be Princess Elizabeth Diana Carole? Or will the “princess” title come later? And if the baby is a princess, does that mean Kate’s title will be upgraded too?

Anyway, there are more details from Us Weekly’s cover story – stuff about what food Kate is craving and how she’s changed her workouts:

Even though Kate Middleton is nearly halfway through her pregnancy, she is still skinny — but like most pregnant women, she has been eating some tasty treats to satisfy her cravings! So what does a Duchess, who could eat anything she wants, crave exactly?

“She’s got sugar on the brain,” a source close to the mom-to-be tells Us Weekly. “Chocolates, biscuits, cake.” And while she sneaks off to a nearby Starbucks for a cup of decaf coffee, she’ll sometimes pick up a baked good!

Kate Middleton is doing everything in her power to make sure that the unborn royal baby is as healthy as possible, which has led to the Duchess of Cambridge reading as many parenting books as possible. This research has pushed Kate to alter her typical workout routine of strenuous cardio for something a bit easier on the baby, according to a new report!

A source close to Kate, 31, tells Us Weekly that her old routine of hiking and running has been swapped out for prenatal yoga. “Kate has a yoga instructor visit her at the palace,” the source says, adding that she still goes for long walks a handful of times a week “Just to increase her heart rate a little.”

The research that led Kate to this new workout routine stems from a desire to be as in control with her pregnancy as possible. “She’s been reading as much as possible,” the source tells the publication, “from how to be a good parent to how to stay healthy for the baby.” She’s reportedly receiving deliveries from Amazon almost on the daily! “It’s probably her favorite shop in the world,” the source adds. “She buys a lot!”

[From Hollywood Life]

I can feel Gwyneth Paltrow judging Kate from here. Goop would probably say that if Kate is craving sugar, that means you should completely cut out all sugars, even the sugars found in fresh fruit. Goop’s policy is to deny your body’s cravings at all times! As for the walking… I’m a big fan of walking. I know that sounds “basic” of me, but I wish more people would stop with the trendy workout plans and just walk several miles a day. So I’m with Kate on that one. Prenatal yoga also sounds like a good idea, although I’m not sure that I buy it for Kate. She just doesn’t seem like a yoga-type person to me.

Photos courtesy of WENN.

Star Magazine has a story this week which is already getting a lot of play, and the issue isn’t even out yet. Apparently, LeAnn Rimes is pregnant and Star Magazine knows this because she’s gained some noticeable weight, she stopped drinking (according to friends), and she stopped dyeing her hair. Unfortunately for all of us, we can’t get all excited/schadenfreude-y about this because LeAnn’s rep has gone around denying it to everybody who will listen:

LeAnn Rimes has denied reports she is pregnant. Rumours had surfaced that the country star is expecting her first child with husband Eddie Cibrian.

But a representative for the singer told Mail Online: ‘LeAnn is not pregnant.’

A source had claimed to Star magazine: ‘LeAnn is staying coy, but her friends say she’s beyond excited to be having a baby.’

The publication alleged that LeAnn learned shortly before the holidays that she had a little one on the way.

‘That’s why she didn’t have a single margarita in Cabo over Christmas and New Year’s,’ the source claimed. ‘Normally she can’t get enough!’

The star has come under much criticism for her too-thin figure in the past but has been cutting a far healthier shape of late.

And the insider said of LeAnn’s newly healthy figure: ‘LeAnn has stopped bleaching her hair, and is relaxing her diet to gain weight the way a pregnant woman is supposed to. She hasn’t always taken the best care of her health, and she’s determined to get it right. She’s wanted Eddie’s baby ever since they got together.’

However on Sunday LeAnn was off to dye her locks and tweeted: ‘Hair color, then bang trim and dinner w/ the hubs. It’s gonna be a warm evening, so a patio w/ yummy food we must find.’

The 30-year-old’s husband already has two sons, from his first marriage to Brandi Glanville, and the insider has claimed that he does not want a girl.

‘He knows how badly he’s already treated the women in his life,’ the source alleged. ‘It would drive him crazy trying to take care of a girl.’

[From The Mail]

Gossip Cop also got a comment from LeAnn’s rep, who told them: “LeAnn is not pregnant, as I told Star Magazine but they chose to ignore it.” And Eddie’s rep also commented, saying that the story “is not true.” Too bad. Also: I hope that if and when LeAnn does get knocked up, she does have a girl because OMG that will be amazing.

So… take off your party hats and take down the streamers. LeAnn is not knocked up, and I really don’t think she would have ordered her rep to GO HARD against the rumors if she was just going to have to admit a pregnancy in a month, you know? So I believe that she just gained some weight and it doesn’t equal baby. But here’s the question I always have about the way celebrities deny some stories and let other stories sit around, gaining traction – why did LeAnn feel so strongly about letting everyone know she wasn’t knocked up, while her rep couldn’t be bothered to comment on that story about the Instagram account which belonged to “Eddie”?

Photos courtesy of “Eddie’s” Instagram (now defunct) and WENN.

Last night, I was already making plans to write about Penelope Cruz’s pregnancy confirmation (we already knew she was pregnant) and Alec Baldwin and Hilaria Thomas’s pregnancy confirmation (we knew that one too), but then as I was glancing through Page Six this morning, I was floored by some completely new pregnancy/baby information. First shock: Steve Martin is 67 years old (VAMPIRE!!) and married. Second shock: Steve Martin’s wife was pregnant. Third shock: Steve Martin’s wife managed to conceal her pregnancy AND birth and we’re only finding out right now that Steve has become a father for the first time at the age of 67.

Steve Martin’s become a first-time dad at 67, Page Six has exclusively learned. The “It’s Complicated” star and his wife, Anne Stringfield, 41, welcomed a child in December and have been spotted nearby their LA home with the bundle of joy.

“They’ve had a baby, and how they kept it a secret nobody knows,” a source said. “Steve’s very private.”

The source added, “They are thrilled. They worked hard to have the baby.”

The couple married in 2007 at Martin’s home in a surprise ceremony where guests, including Tom Hanks and Diane Keaton were told it was a party.

Martin, meanwhile, has written of his own dad: “My father’s attitude toward my show-business accomplishments was critical. After my first appearance on ‘Saturday Night Live’ . . . he wrote a bad review of me in the newsletter of the Newport Board of Realtors where he was president.”

But Martin wrote in 2008, years after his father died, “In his death, my father . . . did something he could not do in life. He brought our family together.” A rep for Martin declined to comment.

[From Page Six]

Well, congrats and mazel tov and all of that. Steve always has been incredibly, crazily private so I guess I shouldn’t be so shocked that he managed to keep his wife’s pregnancy and birth such a secret. As for the ages… CB was like “well, at least she’s not 30!” But I think an age difference of 26 years is still kind of… interesting? Let’s go with “interesting”. I hope Elton John sends Steve some roses – now Elton isn’t going to be the oldest dad at the playground.

As for the other pregnancy confirmations – go here to read Hilaria Thomas’s confirmation. We knew she was knocked up already, but it’s still nice they confirmed it. Alec Baldwin is going to be a father again… let’s hope this time goes better. Alec is 54 years old – Hilaria is 28 (side-eye). And Penelope Cruz confirmed her second pregnancy to Hola Mag too. Penelope is 38 years old –Javier Bardem is 43 years old.

Photos courtesy of WENN.

Kris Humphries’s lawyer filed some paperwork yesterday, and I’m struggling to make sense of what it means legally. I think Kim Kardashian’s lawyer is still trying to wrangle a faster divorce, and Kris’s lawyer filed some papers to say why it should NOT be a quick divorce…? Something something. Here’s TMZ’s story:

Kris Humphries just filed legal docs saying he doesn’t understand the urgency for a quick divorce, and he shouldn’t have to jump just because Kim Kardashian got accidentally knocked up.

Kris’ lawyer, Marshall Waller, says in the docs, “What is really going on here is that an ‘urgency’ in the form of an apparently unplanned pregnancy, something [Humphries] had nothing to do with, is perceived by [Kim] as an opportunity to gain a litigation advantage by trying to force this court to prematurely set this matter for trial.”

And get this … after the word “pregnancy” there’s a footnote that reads, “Indeed, why would [Kim] plan to get pregnant in the midst of divorce proceedings?”

Translation — Waller thinks Kim is putting a gun to his client’s head, which is bizarre because the divorce has dragged on for well over a year for a marriage that lasted 72 days.

Waller says Kim shouldn’t worry about the legal presumption that Kris is the father of Kim’s kid because she got pregnant while they were still married — Waller says Kris is happy to stipulate he’s not the daddy.

Kris says in the docs he wants to be present for Kim’s deposition and has a right to be there, but due to his work schedule he’s unavailable until mid-May or June.

We’re guessing the judge is going to lose patience at the trial setting conference and set the divorce trial for March.

[From TMZ]

Kris’s lawyer made sure to note that Kim’s pregnancy is “something (Humphries) had nothing to do with.” So… bear with me (I’m on heavy-duty decongestants)… yeah, I was right. Kim was trying to speed up the divorce yet again and Kris’s lawyer is all “She just wants to speed up the divorce because she’s pregnant, and not with her legal husband’s baby, because she’s kind of slutty.” And the judge is all “Um, really? Let’s set this crap for March.”

But this isn’t Kim’s only legal/PR play – just after Kris’s lawyer came out, TMZ reported this “Pity Poor Kim” piece that quite honestly sounds like something from Duchess Kate’s playbook:

Kim Kardashian’s doctor thinks Kim’s unborn baby may be at risk, because of the stress Kris Humphries is causing by dragging out their divorce … TMZ has learned.

Sources familiar with the situation tell TMZ … several days ago Kim called her doctor in the middle of the night to come to the house because she was having severe pains. The doctor examined her, but then warned he believed the problems were largely stress-related.

Sources say … the only significant stress in her life right now is the divorce. And hours before her meeting Tuesday with her lawyer, disso-queen Laura Wasser, Kim’s pains returned in full force.

The doctor warned Kim she needs to handle the stress or else there could be “long-term effects.” The doctor did not elaborate, but we’re told Kim is freaked out her baby may be at risk.

[From TMZ]

Of course it’s perfectly possible that Kim is feeling a lot of stress and that her doctors are worried about her. But announcing it like this, to TMZ, right after Kris’s lawyer counters… it’s a PR move. Still, I do hope Kim’s pregnancy will be healthy. Prayers for Kat-Face!

Photos courtesy of WENN.

Anne Hathaway has been much discussed and much analyzed here and all over the blogs and entertainment media. Some of the discussion is fair, in my opinion (her fashion, her interviews, her acceptance speeches are all up for public discourse), while some of it seems somewhat unfair (hit pieces on how she’s incredibly annoying, etc). I don’t know where pregnancy speculation falls – is it fair game because she’s GUSH GUSH gushing about her marriage and because she’s wearing abdomen-disguising dresses and gowns, or should we not talk about it because ew, gross, and it’s her business?

The thing is, I get the feeling that Anne wants us to talk about her womb and the state of it. I think she actually is pregnant or trying to get pregnant or she will be pregnant very soon. I think she’s been choosing her gowns with the intention of getting us to bump-monger (credit: The Fug Girls) her. And these photos seem like further evidence of that. First of all: WHITE SKINNY JEANS. Again. If you have the audacity to marry a man who wears white skinny jeans, you’ll probably let him knock you up too. Second of all – Anne and her husband were coming from the doctor’s office, as every photo agency is noting, and Anne is the one who gave blood! Look at her arm – see the pink band-aid? Yep. So… is she knocked up already? And if she is, will she announce her pregnancy Beyonce-style on the stage as she accepts her Oscar?

Also: Have you watched this hilarious parody of Anne’s performance of “I Dreamed a Dream”? It’s a spoof video called “For Your Consideration” which stars an actress named Emma Fitzpatrick doing a dead-on Annie impression. And the re-write of the song is pretty great too!

PS… I know it’s try-hard for a daily papping, but I have to admit that I love Anne’s maxi dress. It’s great!

Photos courtesy of Fame/Flynet.

If you’ve been following my coverage of Kim Kardashian for the past month or so, you’ll know that I’ve been surprised by Kim’s somewhat consistent pregnant appearance. Meaning, I’ve been surprised that she hasn’t gone “Full Jessica Simpson” – Kim put on weight in her boobs, her hips looked bigger, but overall, she just didn’t “look pregnant” to me. But that’s changing! Now well into her second trimester – she’s due in July, so I guess she’s four months along right now – Kim has finally “popped”. Kim posted the header photo on her Instagram with the message “Well hello there! #PoppedOuttaNowhere!!!”

That photo was taken at a photoshoot for Kim and Khloe’s girls’ clothing line for Sears, which is why their hair and makeup looks (somewhat) professional). I’m also including some photos of Kim going into the gym yesterday in LA, wearing tighter gym clothes and showing off her bump a little bit more, although I think the bump looks bigger in the Instagram photo. As for the gym visits – remember, Kim is training with Tracy Anderson’s “special prenatal workout plan.” I bet Tracy is already bitching at Kim for gaining weight and telling her that her body is a “disaster”.

Anyway, there’s no going back now. Kim will just keep getting bigger and bigger. Does that make you happy? Here’s a weird thought: I bet Kanye LOVES that Kim is going to get bigger. He seems like the kind of guy who’s like, “Let’s go get some more ice cream, girl.”

Photos courtesy of Kim’s Instagram and Fame/Flynet.

My goodness, this current round of “Jennifer Aniston is pregnant, for real real real REAL this time” is really happening. I have a theory to explain it, actually. Something similar happened last year around this time, and I allowed myself to be dragged into the speculation, even feeding the speculation at one point. My theory is now that Jennifer just liked to “hibernate” during the holiday season. She barely goes out, and when she does, she dressed in layers, and everyone freaks out and cries “BABY BUMP” when she’s just wearing a bulky sweater. Anyway… The Mirror (UK) claims that Jennifer has broken up with sushi and booze. Obviously, that means she’s knocked up.

Jennifer Aniston raised eyebrows at her engagement party with fiance Justin Theroux, 41, last Sunday, when she passed up on the chance to enjoy her favourite alcoholic drinks and stayed well away from the raw fish on the giant sushi platter. The actress has also cleared some of her work for next year from her schedule.

And now these pictures of Jen wrapped up in bulky clothes have emerged, many people Stateside believe she’ll be making an announcement any day now. At 43, Jen’s biological clock has been ticking louder and she will finally catchup with her old Friends Courteney Cox,48, who has an eight year old daughter, Coco, and Lisa Kudrow, 49, who has a 14-year-old son, Julian.

Jen and Justin are due to marry at the end of the year after getting engaged in August, so any potential addition can only be an added bonus.

A source said: “Jen loves a party, so it was definitely noticed at her engagement event that she was only on water. People have also been commenting on her changing her work plans for the foreseeable future – she said it was to concentrate on planning the wedding and to be closer Justin, but now it’s being suggested it’s to make way for a baby. It would be a fantastic piece of news for the couple to end the year on – she seems so happy recently.”

Jennifer pulled out of her involvement in the film Getting Rid of Matthew last month and now it’s been reported that she no longer will be appearing in Miss You Already, which was due to be filmed in London.

Jennifer has previously said she can’t wait to be a mum: “I’ll be singing from the mountain top. Let me have the moment where I get to say, yes, in fact, I’m having a baby. I just want to say, “Everybody, relax! It’s going to happen”.”

[From The Mirror]

If and when Jennifer gets pregnant, her people won’t be leaking to The Mirror. I’m just sayin’. A “well-placed source” (and that’s exactly what he’ll be called) will tell People Magazine that Jennifer is “glowing” and “she’s been looking even more beautiful lately” and that “friends wonder if something is up.” That’s the way her team writes this crap. Anyway, if she is knocked up, God bless. If she isn’t, she really needs to stop playing this f—king game.

Also, did you know that Aniston is a horrible daughter? True story, at least according to Star Magazine:

Jennifer Aniston’s mom has been in the hospital for over a month, but the former Friends actress still hasn’t found time to call or visit and see how she is feeling, according to a new report in Star magazine.

As RadarOnline.com previously reported, Nancy Dow was admitted to Glendale Memorial Hospital and Health Center on Nov. 6 after breaking her shoulder in a nasty fall. During surgery, the 76-year-old suffered a stroke, her second in just over a year, and she’s said to be in a very fragile state.

But, as of yet, Jennifer, 43, has reportedly shown little concern over her mother’s recovery, a source tells Star.

“She hasn’t talked to or visited Nancy once since she was admitted,” the family friend told the magazine. “She should’ve been there for the shoulder surgery alone! And the stroke is really serious. Nancy is an old lady, and she’s very sick; it’s breaking her heart that Jen is ignoring her.”

The pair had a very public and bitter falling out in 1999 after Nancy released a tell-all book about her strained relationship with her movie star daughter. Jennifer branded the memoir “a mistake” while Nancy said it was a “healing exercise.”

They were estranged for six years until Jennifer’s heartbreaking split with Brad Pitt saw them briefly reconcile.

[From Radar]

I’ve said before that I don’t think Aniston is in the wrong for keeping her mom at arm’s length. Her mom seemed like a piece of work, and Nancy’s screwed-up, Dina Lohan-esque parenting style probably still affects Jennifer to this day. I mean, of course Aniston should make more of an effort nowadays, with her mom having so many medical problems. But it’s a complicated relationship, and I’m not going to slam Aniston for it.

Photos courtesy of WENN.

Ah, Royal Bump Watch is going full speed ahead now! All of the other Bump Watches pale in comparison to this current era of Bump Watch-ing. And you know why? Because the time is a’ coming. Duchess Kate knows it. Prince William knows it. The royal family knows it. The British public knows it. What do they know? That if William doesn’t knock up his wife within the next few months, there will be a guaranteed backlash against these two for not doing their “duty”. So, here we are, coming up on the two-year anniversary of their engagement announcement, and the baby rumors are flying! A few days ago, one of Kate’s “friends” (?) claimed that Kate was already knocked up and looking to announce it around Christmas. But Us Weekly says – in their cover story! – that Kate and William have only JUST started trying, so just wait for it.

It’s the moment we’ve all been waiting for since the April 2011 Royal Wedding — a royal pregnancy! All the talk about the couple’s friends starting families must have gotten to Duchess Kate and Prince William because they are now ready to start a family!

According to Us Weekly, a source close to the couple says, “They’re excited at the prospect of becoming parents,” and confirms they’re “working on it. In a dream situation, they’d love to be a step closer at Christmas.”

Adds a source close to Kate, “They have been on such a high since getting married. It’s time for the next step — Kate is hoping she and William can become parents in 2013.”

Though the breathless bump watch started immediately after their April 2011 wedding, the couple had a top-secret plan all along. Their first two years of marriage would be devoted to work, and Operation Heir would begin only after their grueling royal tour of Southeast Asia finished up in September.

“Once their malaria medication had run its course,” says an insider, “then it was safe to start. So it’s only been a matter of weeks.”

Whenever it does happen, says a source, Kate, like any first-time mom, will wait until just after the first trimester to share the news wide. “It won’t be hidden,” says the source.

What wonderful timing is this all — Christmas is around the corner and the couple just purchased a new home in London’s Kensington Palace, a four-story, 20-room flat undergoing a $1.5 million renovation, according to Us Weekly.

Just like Will, Kate wants two children, according to a longtime friend of Kate’s, and we are starting to think this new house would be perfect to bring kids into!

The source tells Us Weekly that “a baby is the main reason for the move. They want to bring a child up in a secure environment.”

When it comes to raising their future child, “Kate will let her children have fun and freedom, but she will also make sure they do what is best for them,” says Kate’s friend.

[From Us Weekly & Hollywood Life]

I mean, it’s going to happen. It’s not like all of this hand-wringing and Bump Watching is for naught. I don’t really understand why we have to pretend that William and Kate are only doing an extensive and costly renovation of Kensington Palace “for the baby” – they’re doing it because that their future home, where they will live for decades (probably). Meanwhile, I think all of the talk about Kate’s weight is a diversion – of course she’ll be able to get pregnant! (I think.) Keep your eye on the ball – the issue isn’t “Can Kate get pregnant?” The issue is “Will Kate use her eventual pregnancy as an excuse to not do any royal work for five years, after which she’ll get pregnant again?”

Photos courtesy of Us Weekly, WENN.

These are photos of Gisele Bunchen and Tom Brady over the weekend in Miami. The pics where Gisele is wearing white skinny jeans and a beige-y sweater are from Saturday night – Gisele and Tom had dinner at Prime One Twelve in South Beach. Then Gisele was with a friend on the beach on Sunday. Gisele was definitely trying to shield her face for both incidents, and she really did NOT look happy with the paparazzi. Which makes me feel bad for her… for half a second. Yes, the paps should NOT get in her face. At all. They shouldn’t swarm any woman, especially a pregnant woman. And I don’t know if they were saying something to her, but judging from her face, I think some of them were probably yelling something rude. So, on that account, I do feel genuine sympathy for her. That being said, I don’t really understand why any of this is some big secret. She’s in Miami with her husband. She’s pregnant and she can still fit into skinny jeans. She’s not wearing any makeup and she still look great. Why does she need to go through the motions of “hiding”?

As for her pregnancy… she looks pretty far along to me. I’m trying to do the math – most people think that she was a month or two along at the Met Gala in May, which means that she’s about seven or eight months along right now. New Year’s Baby? Perhaps. She’s also staying remarkably slender all over for this, her second pregnancy. Remember her first pregnancy? She carried small for that one too, and her body bounced back in like three weeks or something. Yes, she exercises. But she also has great genes for how she gains weight. I will say this – and I think I said during her last pregnancy too – I think Gisele’s face looks so much prettier when pregnancy “fills it out” a little bit. Her face looks slightly fuller, and she has a healthy, rosy glow and it just softens all of her other features.

Photos courtesy of Fame/Flynet.

Yesterday, we discussed the new photos of Mila Kunis and Ashton Kutcher from this past weekend. I’m including some of the pics in this post. The Mail and many other sites were all “OMG BABY BUMP” about these pics, and I had to admit that I saw it too. Not that I was for-sure “She’s definitely preggo,” but I did think it was a valid possibility. Other possibilities included a food baby, booze bloat, and/or a really awful horizontal-striped shirt. Well, Mila’s rep decided to actually say something about the rumor. Which is how it begins, ladies and gentlemen. Mila has always maintained a “I don’t talk about my relationships” embargo on every outlet. And now she’s got her rep shooting down a pregnancy rumor? Fascinating.

Her rounded tummy sparked rumors she may be carrying Ashton Kutcher’s baby. But a rep for Mila Kunis denies the Black Swan actress will be expecting a stork visit anytime soon.

A spokesperson for the star has insisted: “She is not expecting.”

The Hollywood rumor mill went into overdrive at the weekend after a bumpy looking Kunis, 29, and Kutcher, 34, were snapped taking a stroll in Los Angeles on Saturday.

Clutching what looked like an iced coffee, the actress looked casual in a pair of jeans and a tank top. But it seems her shirt’s horizontal stripes may have created an optical illusion that Kunis is expecting a baby. Or the actress may have been sporting a bloated tummy after having a little too much to eat!

Either way it seems the Two and a Half Men actor will not be becoming a daddy anytime soon.

Kutcher has had experience being a parent. During his six-year marriage to Demi Moore he was stepdad to her three daughters Rumer, now 24, Scout, 21 and Tallulah Willis, 18.

The couple separated last year but have yet to file for a divorce. As RadarOnline.com previously reported, the separated spouses have been quietly negotiating a financial settlement, which could spill over into a “public battle” if an agreement isn’t reached soon.

[From Radar]

So. It really was a food baby/booze bloat/a bad shirt. Come here and sit down, Mila. We need to talk. First of all, I like that you eat. Everything you’ve done post-Black Swan indicates to me that you’re the kind of girl who loves to drink beer and eat hot dergs. That’s absolutely fine. I love you for that. But now that you’ve established yourself as the kind of girl who eats solids and occasionally gets photographed looking stuffed from an all-you-can-eat buffet, maybe it’s time to invest in some cute and flattering just-hanging-out clothes. Because your casual-wear sucks, and it’s increasingly becoming a huge problem for you. Enough with the Capri pants, skinny pants, horizontal stripes and faux-maternity blouses. Buy some cute tunics, some scoop-neck t-shirts, some nice straight-leg jeans and maybe a couple pairs of chinos. It really is that simple. Oh, and just by the way, Mila: you know you can do SO much better than Ashton, right?

Photos courtesy of Fame/Flynet.