These are some new photos of Jessica Simpson out with Eric Johnson last night. They were in LA to celebrate Papa Joe’s birthday. I still think Jessica is a really cute pregnant girl, and I like her maternity styles thus far – she looks really comfortable for the most part, and even though these are still photos, I can feel her waddle. Can’t you?

As for how Jessica is carrying and how she’s due in the Spring (!!) and how big she already is… you know this isn’t a pillow pregnancy, right? This girl is EATING. Jessica recently discussed her pregnancy cravings:

Jessica Simpson’s tastes are quite different now that she’s eating for two.

“I had a buttered Pop Tart this morning,” the pregnant 31-year-old tells Extra. “I’m eating a lot of stuff that I ate in my childhood. Kraft Mac n’ Cheese, Pop Tarts, Cap’n Crunch. Everything’s filled with sugar.”

The Fashion Star mentor adds that she isn’t afraid to “give in to my cravings. “I’m like, ‘Yeah, I can do it. We’ll worry about the rest afterwards.’”

Luckily, Simpson hasn’t experienced any morning sickness. “Everybody comes up to me and asks me, ‘How’s the nausea?’ and I’m like, ‘I don’t have any!’” the singer says, though she’s “definitely eating a lot of Tums — I have the reflux and acid going on.”

Due later this year, Simpson says she and fiance Eric Johnson, 32, still don’t know the sex of their baby. “I feel like it’s already going to be a shock. Like, ‘Whoa! I just pushed that out!’ You know?”

The couple has some names that they’re “throwing around” but Simpson says they’re keeping them “on the down low” for now.

[From Us Weekly]

LOL at “Whoa! I just pushed that out!” Jessica is so funny. Even when she’s not trying to be. As for Jessica’s sugar-filled pregnancy – well, I’m not going to judge her. If her doctors say she’s fine, good for her. As for baby names, I’m guessing Jessica will go more traditional, don’t you? She’ll go biblical for a boy, like Noah or Peter or something. Something flowery for a girl, I think.

Also – Jessica tweeted the photo below with a message about a bachelorette party. THIS is what Jess wears to bachelorette parties.

Photos courtesy of Fame, WENN & Jessica’s Twitter.

Just a few weeks ago, Kaiser reported that Peaches Geldof is inexplicably knocked up by her anemic looking fiancé, Thomas Cohen, to whom she had become engaged one month prior. Now Peaches is debuting her massive bump in Hello! magazine, and — whoa — how did she get so pregnant so fast? At first, I thought that Thomas must have super vampiric sperm like Edward Cullen, which would make sense because those Cullens look anemic and pasty too. However, Peaches reveals that she’s already close to six months pregnant, and she even waited until five months of gestation before breaking the news to her own dad, Sir Bob, on Dec. 26. So if we do the math, Peaches actually became pregnant around the time she was photographed stumbling out of a bar and practically snapping her own ankle last summer. It also follows that Peaches was preggo while shoplifting makeup from a drugstore last October. Baby’s first lipstick! How adorable. Here are some excerpts from Peaches’ Hello! interview:

On Her Significant Due Date: Pregnant Peaches Geldof beams as she announces she is expecting a baby boy on her late mother’s birthday. [Peaches] was just 11 years old when writer and broadcaster [Paula] Yates died of a heroin overdose in September 2000, and said: “I feel like it’s a little wink from my mum; her way of sending a message to let me know that she’s watching over me and my baby.”

On Sir Bob’s Reaction: “Oh my God, he was so happy, especially as I’m having a boy. The poor man’s been surrounded by women up till now. He offered Tom a glass of champagne and told me he was glad it was Tom because, of all the boyfriends I’ve had, he’s the favourite. He told us we must never break up; that we must make our child happy, get married and be together forever.”

She Bought a House in Whitechapel, East London: “I guess, when you get a mortgage, somehow you become obsessed with things like oven mitts and garden furniture and couches. I never thought it would happen to me, but it’s like the high point of my life now, buying vintage sofas. I’ve been going insane on eBay. I’ve become very much domesticated. I’m a fan of doilies: I’ve been collecting them, different ones, embroidered doilies, much to the chagrin of my long suffering fiancé.”

She’s, like, So Boring: “One thing I don’t like about Whitechapel is all the graffiti. I’d much rather have a Turner than a Banksy. I can’t stand all that hipster stuff, sadly. You’d think I was the epitome of it, but I’m, actually, really boring. Recently, I’ve been staying in with my fiancé every night of the week, watching films like Babe. The most exciting it got recently was a night out to see Arthur Christmas.”

On Her Engagement: Although they had planned to wait a couple of years before marrying, they have now decided to bring the wedding forward to “probably to late this year or early next” because of the baby. “It will be quite a traditional wedding. We want our son to know that he has a mummy and daddy who will be together forever.”

[From Daily Mail]

Sigh. I truly want to believe that maybe Peaches has changed for the better. Perhaps she’s no longer into stealing dresses from shops, having Xenu and heroin-fueled one-night stands, tweeting about the hilarity of near fatal car crashes, and quickie Vegas marriages that last merely six months. Still, it’s so hard to think that Peaches has magically grown up just because she started dating the “right guy” about a year ago. And that bit about the baby being due on Paula Yates’ birthday? That’s . . . kind of uncanny. Regardless, I wish all the best for the couple and their unborn child. Surely, they have just as good a chance at happiness as any other family.

Here’s Peaches attempting to conceal her bump with a very “hipster” dress and shawl on 1/12 in London. She was leaving a cocktail party.

Photos courtesy of Hello! and WENN

Here are some new photos of Beyonce and her bump in NYC yesterday. I don’t even know. Do you really want me to start in on this? Because I will.

Recently, Beyonce released a short behind-the-scenes video of her video shoot for “Countdown” – the music video where she plagiarized a Belgian choreographer. In this video, Beyonce identifies the date as September 23rd, and she claims she’s six months pregnant. UM, WTF?!?!?!?

That means she more than eight months pregnant right now. Is this how a eight-months pregnant lady looks? And that means she’s due in the beginning of January? Which means…? Jesus, it’s too early in the morning for Beyonce’s never-ending bump conspiracies. Speaking of conspiracies, Bey also released an “alternate” version of the “Countdown” video, this time without the blatantly plagiarized choreography. This is how Bey rolls – don’t acknowledge the plagiarism, just sweep it under the rug and act like it never happened:

And I’d just like to add more fodder that I haven’t seen discussed thus far: in all of Beyonce’s music videos from 4, Bey hasn’t been “showing”. Does this mean that she filmed all of her music videos over the summer? Or does it mean she just detached her pillowy bump so that she could dance awkwardly for strange men whilst fanning her vadge?

Photos courtesy of Pacific Coast News.

It took me a couple of minutes to find that the biggest risk factor for pre-eclampsia, a life-threatening condition leading to high blood pressure in late pregnancy, is a previous instance of pre-eclampsia. Another risk factor is maternal age. Michelle Duggar, the reality show mother who is currently pregnant at 45 with what will be her 20th child, had pre-eclampsia in her last pregnancy, resulting in a dangerous very early term delivery of her daughter Josie at just 25 weeks old. According to Michelle, she can’t be too worried about any risks associated with this pregnancy, because pre-eclampsia “is a crazy, random thing.” I guess we can’t expect her grasp basic probability. This woman also believes that the earth was created 6,000 years ago and that dinosaurs and humans lived together at the same time. (I’m not kidding, the Duggars home school their kids so that they can teach them young earth creationism, they took their kids to the “Creation Museum,” and they link to the Creation Museum from their official website. The Creation Museum includes exhibits like this one, which show humans and dinosaurs co-existing.)

Michelle also told People Magazine that she takes a power nap every day, that she eats healthy, and that she knows that having a ton of kids isn’t for everyone.

With 18 kids still at home, one on the way and two grandchildren, how does Michelle Duggar get any rest?

“I am taking a power nap every day,” she tells PEOPLE. “And I’m eating a lot of protein and green vegetables and no caffeine, which is a new thing for me.”

Michelle, 45, and husband Jim Bob, 46, stars of TLC’s 19 Kids and Counting are expecting their 20th child after the premature birth of daughter Josie in Dec. 2009 following Michelle’s life-threatening preeclampsia.

“I read up a lot on preeclampsia [while pregnant with Josie],” says Michelle, “and it is a crazy, random thing. I have been getting counseled from a high-risk pregnancy doctor in Little Rock and taking good care of myself.”

The family’s frightening medical journey with Josie – born at only 25 weeks and weighing just over a pound – was documented on 19 Kids and Counting as the tiny micropremie was in and out of the hospital and Michelle’s own life was in danger.

Now, Josie has been released by Arkansas Children’s Hospital in Little Rock and is developing normally.

Michelle and Jim Bob watch her oxygen levels using a finger monitor. She accompanied her family on a recent trip to Europe (part of TLC’s Duggars World Tour: Scotland & Ireland, which airs Nov. 13 at 8 p.m.), and she also visited Israel with the whole family.

“The last day of the trip, Josie caught the cold that some of us had,” Jim Bob says. “She couldn’t fly back with a cold, so Michelle and Jill stayed longer in Israel with Josie.”

Michelle, who had just found out she was pregnant, says she had yet to experience any morning sickness.

“I get motion sickness anyway, but thankfully the morning sickness didn’t kick in until I got home,” she says, noting that it hit her hard upon her return but is now gone and she’s feeling good.

“We know having this many kids isn’t for everyone,” she says. “But we are open to receive whatever gifts God wants us to have. And we are so excited and thrilled about this pregnancy.”

[From People]

Power naps typically last about 15-20 minutes, so I can’t begrudge her that. She also revealed on the Today Show that prior to learning of this latest pregnancy she was spending an hour on the elliptical machine every day. To those of you who ask where she finds the time, she has an entire house full of babysitters.

So God blesses these people with children, it has nothing to do with their choices. He also made the earth and everything on it in one fell swoop a few thousand years ago. The mind boggles. Watch this video and listen to Michelle Duggar explain creationism at 3:11. A little bit later several of the kids are interviewed about their beliefs. The kids say that the world is 6,000 years old, and one older girl says “it’s actually more scientifically proven [that the world is 6,000 years old] than [that the world is] billions of years old.” Holy crap.

I obviously don’t even know what to say about these dual messes at this point, so I’m just going to compare and contrast and offer random thoughts:

*By most accounts, Beyonce and Jessica Simpson are both allegedly in their second trimesters. My guess would be that they’re probably both due in February or March of next year.

*My personal opinion is that Jessica looks farther along. That could be because Jessica has looked consistently pregnant day after day, photo op after photo op.

*Does anyone else think the Beyonce’s “candid” baby bump (seen in these new photos) looks crazy-big all of a sudden? It didn’t look this big last week, and yet it looked even bigger on that Australian television show where her bump collapsed. Why does it keep going up and down in size?

*Does anyone else think it’s weird that Beyonce’s new, big bump made its sudden debut on the same day that everybody was talking about Jessica’s huge, still-unconfirmed bump? It’s almost like Beyonce wants all of the attention, right?

*I love that Jessica still hasn’t confirmed her pregnancy. I know it should weigh me down as a gossip blogger, but I think every time she steps outside and she’s photographed with her hand resting on her extended bump, she’s confirming her pregnancy. And I’m so thankful that we don’t have to hear Jessica talk about it exhaustively like Beyonce. I might be speaking too soon (Jessica is probably going to announce this week!), but for now, I’m totally on Team Farty in these Bump Wars.

*I love Jessica’s pregnancy poncho. (Pregnant) bitch already loved ponchos and muumuus and large, oversized tops, and I want her to just continue in this vein.

Photos courtesy of Fame, WENN & Pacific Coast News.

Here are some newish photos of Beyonce and her “bump” in NYC a few days ago – she made sure everybody got photos of her huge bump (in heels) after the fake-bump debacle. What can we glean from these photos? As I’ve said before, I think Beyonce is really pregnant. There’s a baby in there, somewhere, underneath the padding. I think you can tell she’s pregnant from her boobs (which look much fuller) and her face, which seems only slightly fuller. What I keep saying, however, is that the bumps don’t match up with the timeline, and they don’t match from day to day. I’m pretty sure this is the same collapsible pillow that we saw in the now-infamous video. I want to show it again!

Same size. As for the rationale behind the padding… I still think it’s just for famewhoring. Because she jumped the gun and debuted her bump at the VMAs before she was really showing, and now she just loves the attention her various-sized pillows bring. I mean, this is the most we’ve talked about her in a while.

Oh, and you know she’s designing a maternity line now, right? She’ll do it for House of Dereon – at least that‘s what she said in Harper‘s Bazaar: “All I see now are clothes that are flattering on a pregnant woman. It’s been so exciting for me! I love figuring out designs that still make me feel edgy and sexy while pregnant. Flowy fabrics are always flattering. But I still rock my stilettos.” See, I do think she’s so excited to be pregnant, she jumped the gun a little bit with her bump debut. But that still doesn’t excuse all of the lies and BS.

Photos courtesy of Fame.

These are a few new photos of Brenda Song and her still-boyfriend Trace Cyrus from Wednesday. Note: I’ve also included a few photos of Brenda solo from a couple of weeks ago. Now, back in August, several media outlets got a “confirmation” that Trace Cyrus, Goat-Boy of the Cyrus Clan, had impregnated his young girlfriend Brenda. We sent out congrats to the happy couple and I think we all said a quiet prayer that the baby would take after Brenda, who is cute as a Disney-manufactured button. Unfortunately, just a few weeks after the pregnancy “confirmation,” Brenda’s mom went to Radar and said:

“She’s actually not pregnant,” Mai Song said about her 23-year-old daughter, despite the reports that The Suite Life of Zack & Cody actress was having a baby. “It’s very upsetting to our family because of what I’m going through and it’s not how we raised her,” her mother said, revealing that she has been undergoing cancer treatment. According to her mother: “She’s very upset.”

[Via Radar]

After her mom came out and denied it, a lot of us were like “WTF?” And then some of us whispered, “Abortion?” And then some of us were like, “I don’t even know, maybe it’s all a publicity stunt.” And then some of were like, “Damn… I’m tired. And hungry. Is there any ice cream around here?” Well, looking at these new photos of Brenda and Trace… I still don’t know. Neither does any other site. It’s really hard to judge. Back in August, when it was “confirmed,” she was allegedly eight weeks along. Which would make her allegedly 12 weeks along now. Which… still doesn’t mean she would have a noticeable bump, especially considering her style tends towards the loose-fitting boho stuff. Who knows?

Photos of Brenda from Sept. 10:

Photos courtesy of Fame & Pacific Coast News.

The more photos I see of Beyonce post-VMA-bump-debut, the more I think that Beyonce was actually wearing a prosthetic bump for the VMAs. I know I’m throwing shade on the Bey-bump, and I know this makes me a Bey-hater, etc. But it just doesn’t add up – in photos last week, Beyonce seemed to be accentuating her barely-there bump with a weird little puffy babydoll, and now, in these photos from London Fashion Week, Bey’s bump once again seems smaller than at the VMAs. Bey is pictured with her mom, Tina, as they debuted their latest line for the House of Dereon. Bey wore this sequined “suit” with a deep V-neck that… is kind of a weird choice for a pregnant lady. Still, Beyonce sounds beyond thrilled to be knocked up:

Beyonce hit up London Fashion Week this past weekend to launch the latest House of Deréon line. The line was described as “global nomad,” and according to B, anyone — even pregnant ladies like herself — can wear the clothes.

“What I’m wearing today is part of the collection and it’s not supposed to be, but it actually is really good for … maternity,” the singer, dressed in a sparkly black pantsuit, told CNN.

B explained that she and her mom, Tina Knowles, started working on the line at least six months before her pregnancy, so they hadn’t planned maternity clothes specifically. “But we do have some things that I am still trying to rock,” she admitted.

“Actually, I am having so much fun, it has been the most fun time now that [my pregnancy] has been announced and I don’t have to, you know, it was really difficult to conceal,” she continued. “But now that I can be proud and excited about it, I’m having so much fun shopping. It’s great.”

Beyoncé has always been a trendsetter in the world of fashion, and that isn’t going to change just because she’s going to be a mom. “I just feel like it is often within,” she said. “My mother has always told me that beauty comes from within and what’s exciting about being a woman is you can say, ‘Today … I feel really conservative, today I’m feeling classy. Today, I am going on a date and I want to just be a showstopper.’ And you know there is this variety of beautiful clothes that can bring out whatever you feel inside,” she added. “But it comes from here and you should wear your clothes, they shouldn’t wear you.”

The singer also shared that she isn’t sure whether to buy pink or blue clothes as she doesn’t know the baby’s gender yet. Her mom, however, is just happy about the news. “I am so delighted. I’m over the moon,” she gushed.

[From MTV]

Beyonce isn’t saying anything about the gender, but Media Takeout is. They claim, “We spoke to someone affiliated with Christina Louboutin and learned that Jay Z’s sister ANNIE placed an order for some CUSTOM Christan Louboutin booties. The bootie, which are a HOT COMMODITY among celebs, take approximately 6 months to receive.” The booties were ordered in pink! Here’s the thing about gender speculation: the parents can’t come out in favor of one gender because it will be rough if they get the other gender. The other problem with gender speculation: I don’t even think Beyonce is far enough along for a competent doctor to identify gender.

Photos courtesy of Fame & WENN.

It seems like Emily Deschanel, 34, has been pregnant for an awfully long time. Like I even forgot that she was pregnant we haven’t heard from her in so long, and it seems like she was far along the last time we heard anything about her. The Bones star has a new interview in Fit Pregnancy, where she reveals her birth plan and how she’s been exercising and eating healthy during her first pregnancy. Emily last made headlines for revealing that she’s eating vegan during her pregnancy. She explained to Fit Pregnancy how she’s getting enough nutrients and protein, and it sounds like she has it all under control.

Highlight the empty space below for a Bones Spoiler
We hear that your pregnancy is being written into the show
Yes, it will be revealed that I’m pregnant and that it is Booth’s child. So now we are living .together, trying to figure it all out – the couple thing, the parents thing – and how it will affect our working relationship.

What has been most challenging for you?
The fatigue is the hardest part. We work 14 to 16 hour days and, for the first trimester, we weren’t telling people about the pregnancy, so it was hard. Now it’s just things like putting on shoes, getting up off the ground. It’s comical.

You’re a committed vegan. Has keeping up that way of eating been a challenge?
I don’t think it’s any more challenging for me than for anyone else. You have to make sure you get all those essential nutrients. The real challenge for a vegan is getting vitamin b12, and omega-3s, but you can get those in a vegetarian supplement. I’ve increased my protein intake with beans and brown rice, and shakes made with almond milk and hemp powder. The funny this is, I love kale and always used to put it in my breakfast shakes, but for some reason I can’t stand it right now.

Any cravings?
Lemonade! I want it all the time. That and grapefruit. Those cravings I indulge. But I also crave chocolate all the time, and I try to ignore that.

What kind of prenatal exercise do you do?
I’m still Spinning and doing yoga – right now it’s a prenatal yoga DVD I do at home – but I really love classes. I like the music and the motivation you get from the people in class with you. And I’m walking a lot these days.

How do you plan to balance motherhood with your busy life?
I have no idea, but I’m lucky because I’ll have a nanny and I’ll also be able to bring the baby to work. Otherwise I’d never seen him or her. [The couple is not revealing the baby's gender before the birth?

Will you breastfeed?
Absolutely, for a year, maybe longer. I'm a total hippie, so we will co-sleep and breastfeed. My mom breastfed me for more than a year, and I can't imagine doing it any other way. It's cheap and much better for the environment, and you don't have to lug all that stuff around. I'm not saying it's for everyone, but I'm determined, even if it's hard at first.

What are your plans for the birth?
We've been taking HypnoBirthing classes, and I plan to do that. David will be with me, and also a doula.

[From Fit Pregnancy, print edition, via ONTD]

I’ve mentioned before that I did a hypnobirth at a birth center. ONTD ran this story with the caption “Emily’s doing a hypnobirth with only her husband and a doula!” but she didn’t say that, just that she would have a doula there. A doula doesn’t deliver the baby, their role is to be like a coach to the mom while the midwife or doctor does the delivery. We hired a doula when I had my son (my only kid). I assume Emily will be using a birth center, although she could be planning a homebirth (I didn’t use a birth center for some noble reason, I just fear hospitals and have had bad reactions to medication. Everyone should do their own thing when it comes to having their babies.) I will say that it was way harder than I thought it would be, but that I really didn’t need the doula. It was kind of a waste of money to hire her since there was a midwife and my husband was there with me.

I’m not a huge Bones fan and don’t watch a lot of crime-type shows (like Kaiser!), but I get why people like Emily. She seems like a very nice person. She’s into natural living and is a vegan, but she’s not preachy about it at all and is even a little self deprecating. She even admits that she’ll have a nanny. I bet she’s due soon and we’ll be hearing about her new baby any day now!

In yesterday’s post about Ben Affleck and his 1970s wiglet, I also threw in some photos of Jennifer Garner from her daily paparazzi-friendly jaunts. I mentioned the weirdness of Garner’s pregnancy style – when she’s not pregnant, she wears really baggy, unflattering clothes that make her look pregnant, and now that we know she is knocked up, all of sudden she’s wearing fitted clothes and she looks slender. It’s the strangest thing. In Touch Weekly might have an explanation for it, though – according to Jennifer’s unnamed friend, Garner has been working out four to five times a week with a personal trainer so that she doesn’t put on as much weight as she put on with her second pregnancy:

Some people may see pregnancy as an excuse to let themselves go, but Jennifer Garner is clearly not that girl! A friend says the star – who’s in her second trimester – has been working out four to five times a week with her personal trainer.

The pal says Jen, 39, is trying to keep her workouts up so she can give in to her cravings without all the guilt.

“Jen’s pregnancy cravings are cookies and cheese puffs,” the friend reveals. “She knows those calories add up.”

[From In Touch Weekly, print edition]

Cookies? Cheese puffs? I wouldn’t think Jennifer would even keep that stuff in stock at her house. She seems like the all-organic-everything type. As for the whole exercising while pregnant thing – I don’t really have an opinion. Don’t most doctors say that women can exercise while pregnant, just not anything really high-impact or super-aerobic? I think Jennifer is just worried about gaining so much weight again.

Photos courtesy of Fame.