I cannot even begin to emphasize the wave of sympathy and nausea that I feel for Jessica Simpson in these photos. These are from the weekend – I just never got around to covering them with all of the Oscar stuff. I mean, obviously, we can talk about how HUGE she is, but she’d been carrying really big for months now. Jessica was never going to be a small pregnant girl – she was always going to be all boobs, all belly, all ass. I feel for her, and I admire that she still trying to wear cute clothes and cute shoes, because if I was this pregnant, I would just be hanging out in bed in a giant nightgown, crying.

Anyway, CB has been covering most of the Jessica news lately just because imagining what it would be like to be THIS pregnant kind of makes me sick to my stomach. I’m that girl – the one whose gag reflex is triggered at the mere mention of an epidural. CB has previously talked about the tabloid stories involving Jessica allegedly dropping out of her Lamaze class, and her alleged fights with Eric Johnson about scheduling a C-section. In a newish interview, Jessica doesn’t talk about all of that, but she does talk about feeling like a “big blob.” She’s due in late March/early April, by most accounts.

When Jessica Simpson tunes in for the premiere of NBC’s Fashion Star March 13, her body won’t look anything like it does now.

“I wasn’t pregnant when we shot it. It will be amazing to see myself with a waistline,” the 31-year-old said during a conference call Thursday. “I’ll be like a big blob sitting on the couch watching myself thin.”

Simpson will mentor 14 contestants alongside fellow fashion designers Nicole Richie, 30, and John Varvatos; supermodel Elle Macpherson, 47, will host.

“Teaming up with this show was a perfect fit,” Simpson said. “I couldn’t turn it down because I felt like it was great for my collection, but it was also important for me to talk to these up-and-coming designers and mentor them and kind of show them the ropes and really try to lead them in the right direction.”

Now that she’s expecting her first child with fiance Eric Johnson, Simpson said she’s thinking of creating a maternity line for the Jessica Simpson Collection.

“The point of launching a maternity line, for me, is to do something different,” Simpson explained. “I’m not buying any maternity clothes. I’m wearing all clothes that come in bigger sizes. I really want to make a maternity line that’s comfortable, but really stylish for people, because I believe that we all deserve to feel good and look good.”

[From Us Weekly]

If Jessica and Beyonce put out competing maternity lines, which one will have cuter clothes? I’d say Jessica – for two reasons. One, Jessica knows what it’s like to be pregnant (whereas I’m still doubtful about Bey’d pillowy bump). Two, while Jessica doesn’t always clothe herself properly, I believe her general style is rather cute, and that it would translate well into a maternity line. Not so much for Bey.

PS… Doesn’t everyone love how Jessica’s purses are getting larger with every month of her pregnancy? By the time of her due date, she’ll just be carrying a big Hefty bag as a purse.

Photos courtesy of Fame/Flynet.

When I first saw this Life & Style report claiming that Uma Thurman is totally allegedly pregnant, I thought, “Yeah right.” First of all, I can’t even keep up with Uma’s love life – she’s had an on-off relationship with Swiss playboy Arpad Busson for YEARS, and I actually thought they were currently “off.” Second of all, Uma always looks pregnant. I’m not saying that to be mean or anything – she’s a tall woman who gains weight almost exclusively in her boobs and abdomen. She’s looked pregnant for years. As it turns out, though, Uma actually is knocked up – her rep is confirming it!

Uma Thurman is reprising her role as a mom. The 41-year-old actress is expecting her third child, a source exclusively tells Life & Style.

“Yes, Uma is pregnant!” a friend of Uma’s tells Life & Style. “She hasn’t announced it yet, but a lot of her friends were asking her because they could tell the difference when they saw her at New York Fashion Week. She’s usually so skinny, but now she has the cutest little bump and a glow about her.”

Indeed, the former model kept covered up while sitting front row at Tommy Hilfiger on Feb. 12, wearing a baggy blouse and loose blazer. She also stepped out recently in NYC at the Room to Grow fundraiser, which supports babies born into poverty.

“She’s excited,” the insider shares. “She’s happy and just a few months along right now. She’s due in late, late summer.”

The father is her businessman boyfriend Arpad Busson, a friend of Uma’s confirms.

Uma has two children with her former husband Ethan Hawke.

[From Life & Style]

As I said, her rep is now confirming it far and wide. I didn’t realize her two kids with Ethan are so old now – Maya is 13, and Levon is 10. Ethan has had two more kids with his nanny-wife Ryan too. Us Weekly claims that Uma and Arpad got back together last year, which I have no memory of. Who knows? As for Arpad’s baby-daddy situation – he famously has two sons with Elle Macpherson – and Elle always said that he refused to marry her. He has a real thing for leggy blondes, doesn’t he?

Congrats to Uma, though. You rarely see photos of her kids, and I get the feeling she lives a very normal, low-key life in New York. I think she’s very focused on being a mom, and she’ll enjoy it the third time around too.

photos courtesy of WENN.

Last month, In Touch reported that Jessica Simpson had dropped out of Lamaze pregnancy preparation classes and had scheduled a c-section with her obstetrician. According to In Touch, Jessica realized during Lamaze that natural childbirth wasn’t for her at all. Plus her sister Ashlee had three days of labor when she gave birth to her son, and Jessica wanted to avoid all that. Well apparently Jessica’s childbirth decision isn’t sitting well with her fiance, Eric Johnson, who wants her to have medication-free water birth. Johnson is a committed vegan and I would bet this story is true.

As Jessica Simpson’s due date approaches [she] is butting heads with fiance Eric Johnson over how she should give birth.

The 31 year-old… wants a C-Section but her… beau thinks she should deliver naturally, says sources…

“Jessica initially wanted a natural birth but changed her mind,” a source close to the star told The Enquirer. “And now she’s fighting with Eric about the delivery.

“He thinks the baby should have a natural water birth, while she wants to have a C-section so she doesn’t have to deal with a prolonged labor or pain.

“She’s tired of carrying the baby, feeling boated and experiencing the usual inconveniences of being pregnant.

“And with the hormones really kicking in, Jessica put her foot down. If she wants a C-section, I am sure she’ll get one.”

[From The National Enquirer, print edition, March 5, 2012]

Late last year, The Enquirer reported that Jessica was planning for a home birth and a vegan upbringing for her baby. Thankfully she reporedly gave up the idea of raising the child vegan, if this story is accurate. I buy that she also changed her mind on childbirth and was like “hell no” and that Eric is pushing back. Jessica is having the damn baby, not Eric. He can give his input but he better respect her position when it comes to a decision as personal as childbirth.

The Enquirer also adds the detail that Jessica is due on March 27. All she’s said about it is that she’s having “a spring baby.” (That’s at the end of this video.) There’s also news that Jessica is having a girl! She told Billy Bush that she didn’t know the sex of the baby, but People reports that she was shopping for pink baby items a few days ago.

Jessica is shown out with Eric and his mom on 1-28-12. Credit: Bruja, PacificCoastNews.com

Yesterday, TMZ had a weird photo of Drew Barrymore and her fiancé, Will Kopelman, leaving a doctor’s office in Beverly Hills – go here to see the photo. TMZ claims Drew is carrying “what appears to be sonogram results”…? All I can really make out is the lollipop. That’s a lollipop, right? Not a fetus? But this photo has spurred some rumors about Drew’s engagement to “art consultant” (eye roll) Will. Shotgun marriage?

Could Drew Barrymore be planning more than just her wedding this year?

After the recently engaged actress was spotted leaving a doctor’s office with a sonogram in-hand over the weekend, seen in a photo posted on TMZ.com, some are wondering whether Barrymore, 36, is expecting her first baby with fiancé Will Kopelman.

The couple would like to become parents, a source close to them told PEOPLE last month. “Drew is so motherly,” the source said at the time. “Will would like to be a dad. Family is so important to him.”

When asked by PEOPLE if Barrymore was expecting, her rep had no comment.

Although there could be another explanation for the sonogram, starting a family has long been on Barrymore’s mind. “I definitely feel the beginnings of a tick-tock,” she told PEOPLE in 2006. “Whether I have children or adopt, whatever form a family comes in, I would absolutely love to have it.”

In recent weeks, the actress has stepped out for public appearances in notably loose-fitting clothing, though her characteristic style has always been on the bohemian side. At a Feb. 18 party celebrating Marni’s new line for H&M, the actress was asked if she had selected a wedding dress yet. Laughing, she told reporters, “Oh, gosh, I don’t know! I’ve been trying to figure it out! All I know is that I want something tasteful, something timeless.”

Barrymore first stepped out with Kopelman, an art consultant, last February.

[From People]

Yes, I wish we had access to the photos of Drew at that H&M event, but we don’t – you can see them here. Drew’s dress was definitely loose, and there could totally be a little bump there. I never really thought of Drew as the kind of girl who needed a ring as soon as she got knocked up, though. You know? That move is for the Natalie Portmans of the world – not for hippie-dippy Drew. But I guess Drew is trying to be more “legit” these days. She’s a lady now! She even released an official “engagement portrait” – like she’s Duchess Kate or something.

And yes, this dude totally looks like Jessica Simpson’s baby-daddy too – Eric Johnson. Are Eric and Will somehow related? Do they knock up rich women and then just wait for their paycheck?

Photos courtesy of WENN, Fame/Flynet.

The tabs are making fun of Jessica Simpson’s pregnancy weight gain, but they’re doing it in that faux-concern “she could have medical problems” way, which actually sort-of works when we’re talking about a pregnant lady. Jessica kind of brought this on herself by so openly discussing the crap she eats while she’s pregnant. She said last month that she regularly indulges in “Kraft Mac n’ Cheese, Pop Tarts, Cap’n Crunch. Everything filled with sugar.” She also admitted to putting butter on toasted Pop Tarts. Jessica isn’t due until April, but she looks like she’s due any minute. In Touch points out that she’s at potential risk for gestational diabetes.

On a recent outing in Beverly Hills, onlookers were shocked to see Jessica Simpson’s bloated pre-baby body. “She looks really huge, almost unrecognizable,” an onlooker tells In Touch…

According to a source, some doctors are equally alarmed at her dramatic weight gain. So much so that they’ve issued a stern warning: Eating too much junk food or gaining too much weight while pregnant increases the chances of gestational diabetes, hypertension and having a baby too big to deliver naturally!

How did things get so out of control? “Jessica’s the happiest she’s been in ages, and she loves the fact that no one stares at her when she’s downign pizza or eating a tub of ice cream,” the source tells In Touch…

That’s a recipe for disaster, says nutritionist and author… Jackie Keller. “Why would you deliberately sabotage your body with unhealthy, fatty foods? You’re not supposed to eat twice as much – you just need 300 extra calories a day,” Keller tells In Touch.

LA ob-gyn Layne Kumetz, M.D., concurs.”The recommended gain for a woman at a healthy weight is 25 pounds,” Kumetz tells In Touch. Jessica has gained 40 – and counting.

[From In Touch, print edition, January 27, 2012]

In Touch isn’t saying anything that’s new. One of the suggested Google searches for Jessica Simpson is “Jessica Simpson Pregnancy Weight Gain.” Poor Jess. I think she looks cute.

I’ll be honest, I gained over 50 pounds during my first/only pregnancy. (I got tested for gestational diabetes and thankfully I didn’t have it.) There are photos of me right before I gave birth and I’m still astonished to see how huge I looked. While pregnant I tried to eat healthy whole foods and didn’t even think I was eating that much more than I normally do. I must have eaten a lot more to get to that point. After my son was born I lost most of the weight pretty quickly. Those last 15 pounds were a bitch, though. So I guess I’m saying that Jessica can lose it too.

I don’t think it’s fair to pick on a pregnant lady for gaining weight and I would have been mortified if people did it to me. Jessica kind of invites it by admitting the junk she’s eating though. That’s not nourishing to her baby or her. This has me thinking – how much is this woman going to overshare after she gives birth? We’ve already heard all about her bodily functions and poor hygiene. Her stories are going to be epic after she has a baby.

In related news Star Magazine has a pretty funny story about how Jessica tried to cut in line at a popular Mexican restaurant and was told to wait at the back of the line like everyone else. Even her huge baby bump couldn’t get her a free pass at that place. She gave up and ended up going to Taco Bell instead. Taco Bell is my favorite fast food, and you know what you’re getting there. It’s not like you’re going to order a fajita and get a grease and cheese slathered mess like at some (bad) Mexican places. I doubt Jessica opted for the “fresco” line at TB though. Those are my favorite and most fresco tacos are only 150 calories! Jessica will be counting those soon enough.

These photos are of Jessica and her fiance, Eric Johnson, out in Santa Barbara with his parents on 1-28-12. They look so happy! Credit: DMac/FF3/FameFlynet Pictures

I’m really surprised that we haven’t been hearing more from Sienna Miller. Maybe she really has changed? She used to be much more in-your-face and she adored being on magazine covers and giving lots of self-pitying interviews. But over the past year or two, she’s been so low-key. Maybe she got burned in the British hacking scandal. Maybe she just found a more low-key guy (Tom Sturridge). Maybe she’s just gotten better at hiding her drama. In any case, these are the first new photos we’ve had of Sienna since her pregnancy was announced (by friends) in early January. She was flying solo in New York at an event for W Magazine – you can see some of the red carpet photos here. On the carpet, she was showing off her bump, but you can’t really see a big difference in these photos. Her face looks a bit fuller. She looks healthy.

Sienna is not wearing an engagement ring in these photos, which means that there’s still speculation about whether she and Tom Sturridge are engaged. Several days ago, there was a photo of Sienna wearing what seemed like a nice-sized, possible three-diamond engagement ring – go here to see the photo. Sources keep telling the British and American tabloids that they are engaged – Life & Style’s source recently claimed, “They’re engaged and really happy. Her family is pleased, as they absolutely adore Tom. He proposed to Sienna during a romantic trip to Paris after Christmas. He filled their hotel suite at the Ritz with flowers and presented her with a vintage Victorian ring. It was incredibly romantic — she was blown away.” Allegedly, Sienna wants a “flapper-themed” wedding too – basically, she wants to copy Kate Moss’s wedding. I tend to think they probably are engaged, but that doesn’t mean they’ll actually go through with it. Allegedly, Sienna is due in June – and I don’t think she’d rush into a marriage before she had the baby, right?

Photos courtesy of Fame/Flynet.

These are photos of Catherine Zeta-Jones and Michael Douglas entering a birthday party in NYC on January 17th. I saw these photos last week, but I guess I didn’t really look through them, because my only reaction was “meh.” However, the tabloids got out their magnifying glasses and decided that they spied a “bump” hidden within Catherine’s little black Herve Leger, and this week, there are several stories revolving around Catherine’s “miracle pregnancy” at… (cough cough) “42”. Yes, she’s holding at 42! That’s the real story, but here’s one version of the pregnant thing:

After years of trials and tribulations, the tide is finally turning for Catherine Zeta-Jones and Michael Douglas as the couple prepare to welcome another child!

“Michael is giving Catherine her dream gift – another baby,” an insider tells Star. “He’s adamant about giving her the one thing she is truly desperate for.”

On Jan. 17, Catherine kept what appeared to some observers as her bumped-up belly under wraps. Many onlookers “are buzzing that she is pregnant… she’s absolutely glowing.”

“When things were at their darkest, they could only dream that a miracle like this could happen. Now Michael and Catherine feel as if they have a second lease on life. Michael may be an older man, but he feels like a kid again. And Catherine’s blues have gone away. She feels like she’s walking on sunshine!”

[From Star, print edition]

Et cetera. There’s more stuff about how Michael is totally “ready” for another baby, and if something bad happens with this bump of mystery (or if she isn’t really preggo), they’ll totally consider adopting.

As for these photos – the alleged photo evidence of Catherine’s “bump” – I can see where her stomach is not quite flat in these photos, but I don’t think that means “preggo!!!” If anything, I think she looks thinner than she usually looks. Although… the Enquirer used a different photo from this set, and Zeta’s bump definitely looked more pronounced. Still, I think it’s just a food-and-wine gut, not a baby bump. In any case, I don’t think “42” year old Catherine is interested in having another baby, and sources tell Gossip Cop the stories aren’t true anyway.

Photos courtesy of Fame, WENN.

Here are some new photos of Peaches Geldof and her bump, leaving the premiere of The Muppets last night in London. Quickly after New Year’s, Peaches Geldof announced that she was pregnant by her fey fiancé Thomas Cohen, the boy who wears pleated culottes and looks like a junkie. Many thought that this pregnancy was probably going to be another disaster in a long line of catastrophes for 22-year-old Peaches. Sure, we’re hoping for the best, for Peaches and the baby. But her past behavior suggests that we should also set the bar pretty low.

Anyway, shortly after the pregnancy announcement, Peaches and Thomas did an interview and photo shoot with Hello Magazine, and Peaches revealed that she’s already six months along, and she’s due on her late mother’s birthday (April 24), and that she only told her father Bob Geldof when she was five months along. So… this thing is moving fast. Do you think she’s been clean and sober this whole time? I have my doubts, but I’ll keep my fingers crossed. I will admit, Peaches looks healthier than she has in a while. She seems to be putting on a healthy amount of weight, her skin and hair look good. So… good. Keep it up, Peaches.

Photos courtesy of WENN.

Let’s just cover all of this Kristin Cavallari stuff right now. I know I’m days late getting to this, and I have two excuses. One, I was sick as a dog with one of the worst stomach flus I’ve ever had in my life, and two, Kristin Cavallari is barely a celebrity. In her mind, she’s like Kim Kardashian or something, some kind of mega-famous reality superstar and everyone pays attention to her comings and goings. At least, that’s how she puts herself out there in my mind. Anyway, these are some new photos of Kristin and her on-again fiancé Jay Cutler. After Jay dumped her shortly before their wedding, Kristin ran around, making sure everyone knew that he was a terrible monster and she was just a poor little victim. And then something happened, and they got back together. Why? Don’t know.

Here’s what I do know – very soon after Jay and Kristin got back together, Kristin made sure she had this thing locked down by getting pregnant in a hurry. Us Weekly initially reported Kristin’s pregnancy on Monday, with sources (Kristin herself) telling the mag, “She is really happy. She is in the early stages, but she can’t wait to be a mom. They have just bought a house in Tennessee and can’t wait to start their family.” Kristin and Jay both confirmed the news too. And then TMZ reported this:

If you were surprised to hear Kristin Cavallari was pregnant with Jay Cutler’s baby, you’re not the only one — the couple themselves were shocked by the news … TMZ has learned.

Jay and Kristin announced yesterday they were with child — following a crazy few months where they broke off their engagement, only to announce it was back on.

Sources close to the couple tell TMZ, K&Jay had discussed the possibility of kids — but planned to start cranking ‘em out in a few years … not any time soon.

But shocking as it was, we’re told they’re thrilled with the news … renewing their commitment more than ever to making their relationship work.

If Jay wasn’t locked down before, he sure is now.

[From TMZ]

Sure. I’m positive Jay was surprised. I’m sure Kristin just accidentally went off her birth control or whatever. In any case, it seems like Kristin sure got the news out fast, didn’t she? She’s not even showing – I bet she’s not even two months along. Well played, Kristin?

But that’s not all – Jay also took to Twitter to defend his new baby-mama, telling the world, “We couldn’t be more excited. We don’t usually comment on our relationship but for the record I never broke up with Kristin. Its unfortunate some people are saying hurtful things during such a joyous moment in our life.” Ah, right. That’s why Kristin was running around to People and Us Weekly, positioning stories about herself after she was dumped. Because she wasn’t dumped at all! It all makes sense now, Jay!

Photos courtesy of Fame.

I vaguely know who Tara Subkoff is. She was one of the founding designers with Imitation of Christ, she’s BFFs with Chloe Sevigny, and she used to date Jimmy Fallon back in the day. I had no idea that Tara had been dating Tom Hooper, the British director who won the Oscar for The King’s Speech last year, for more than a year. But they were together. And now it’s over. And it’s a MESS. Tara is pregnant, you see. And her version of events has Tom Hooper dumping her literally MINUTES after she told him she was pregnant. His version is different, but it’s still pretty rough:

Oscar-winning director Tom Hooper has called off his engagement to fashion designer Tara Subkoff, who’s just told friends and Hooper that she’s a few months pregnant with his child, according to sources.

The pair were quietly engaged in Paris in May after meeting around the Golden Globes in January last year.

“They had just celebrated their one-year anniversary,” said a source close to the couple.

But “The King’s Speech” director last weekend broke off their relationship and left New York for London, as Subkoff suspected she was pregnant.

Sources close to Subkoff say the couple had been trying for a baby for months, and, “She took several home pregnancy tests,” after he left for London. Now “Imitation” creator Subkoff is telling friends a doctor has confirmed her pregnancy and she is “distraught” about the end of their relationship.

However, a source close to Hooper confirms he broke off their engagement, but insists he had no idea she was expecting until Subkoff left him a voice mail yesterday.

“He broke up with her on Friday, and the last time they spoke was Saturday. He did not know she was pregnant — there was no discussion of her being pregnant,” the source said. “Then he got this voice mail [yesterday] from Tara saying she’s pregnant. He doesn’t know what to do.”

The source explained the pair had broken up a few times and their relationship had recently been rocky. And Hooper “just wasn’t ready to get married. He’s married to his career. He’s just going into production on a huge film. He’s under a tremendous amount of pressure. The timing of this could not be more difficult.”

But the source added, “Tom still adores Tara, and obviously he’ll do the right thing by her.”

Hooper will begin production on “Les Miserables” — starring Russell Crowe, Hugh Jackman and Anne Hathaway —on Feb. 6. Reps for Hooper and Subkoff had no comment.

[From Page Six]

If this story was about two B-list (or even C-list) actors, it would be getting major play. But I guess people don’t care about British directors and their pregnant fashion designer girlfriends? Prove them wrong! Care about this, because it’s a really scandalous gossip story. Do you believe Tom’s side of things, that he dumped her without knowing about her pregnancy? Or was Tara trying to “trap” him into a commitment by getting knocked up? I think the crux of the scandal is in the timing – she finds out she’s pregnant and he dumps her, all within a 24-hour-period. Sketchy!

Photos courtesy of WENN.