You know how Halle Berry makes pregnancy sound like it’s all sweetness and light? Like morning sickness is awesome, and chimichanga cravings are the height of happiness? Well Milla Jovovich is the flipside to all that happiness. The model and actress has had some incredibly frightening cravings since getting pregnant.

Pregnant Milla Jovovich has been craving bone marrow. The ‘Resident Evil’ actress – who has gained 70lbs since falling pregnant with her first child with fiancé director Paul W.S. Anderson – was in Paris when she experienced an overwhelming desire for “the leg of a cow”.

She told Britain’s Grazia magazine: “I was craving bone marrow one day, and I scoured the whole of Paris searching for the leg of a cow. When I finally found what I was looking for, I cut it in half, digging out the yellowish substance, slathering it all over bread.”

The Ukrainian model, who is expecting a girl, has developed a new relationship with food since falling pregnant. She said: “Before I got pregnant, I really didn’t care about food. I saw it as fuel, not something to sit down and enjoy. As an actress and model, I lived on cigarettes and coffee, and jet-lag tended to kill off any appetite I had. My diet for most of this year has been – for breakfast, four eggs with bacon, toast and butter, if I was at home. Then if I was at a diner, I’d have a Mexican omelet, a stack of pancakes and strawberry milkshake.

“I’d stuff myself with cookies all morning – whatever was in the cupboard really – then I’d have a box of Krispy Kreme donuts for dessert. And I once ate two whole packs of coffee cake in one sitting!”

[From Hollywood Rag]

That is truly disgusting. I had a pregnant friend who craved sea sponges. I don’t think she ever gave into it (at least as far as she would admit) but she told me that she had to take the sponges out of her shower because she wanted to eat them so badly. Yeah, bone marrow is bad, but sponges are just f*** up.

Jennifer Lopez sure is a bundle of contradictions. Though she’s talked quite a bit about her desire to have children, she has yet to confirm her pregnancy, which doesn’t seem to be a matter of “if” so much as “when” and “how many” at this point. A lot of people have pointed out that even if someone is famous, they’re still under no obligation to inform the rest of us as to the status of their bellies. Alright, I’ll buy that (you’re forgiven, Christina Aguilera) but J Lo has actually said that if she was pregnant, she’d be hollering about it so loudly you’d hear her from the other side of the county. Or some such thing. My point being, she hasn’t given us any reason to believe she’d be coy about it, and yet here she is, keeping her lips sealed.

So would you like further proof that she’s got a bun (or two, depending on reports) in the oven? She and husband Marc “Skeletor” Anthony spent two hours at famed Los Angeles baby boutique Petit Tresor shopping for the future baby Lopez. They even had the store closed down so they could do it in privacy. Ahh, to be rich and powerful. And married to a really ugly guy.

Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony still aren’t speaking about their pregnancy, but their shopping is doing all the talking for them! The parents-to-be visited Petit Tresor, the baby boutique to the stars, Wednesday afternoon to iron out nursery design details, a source tells OK!. And the two spared no expense, dropping more than $50,000 on supplies!

“Petit Tresor will be designing their baby nursery and the theme is nursery rhymes,” the source says. After being ushered into the store, which was closed off to the public, through a back entrance, Marc and J.Lo spent two hours picking out the perfect baby necessities and accessories, most of which will be custom-made, including the cribs, changing tables and armoires. “There will also be custom-painted murals on the walls,” the source adds. As OK! confirmed earlier this month, the couple is doubling their pleasure with twins. But because they have yet to find out the sexes, “they’ve chosen both ‘boy’ and ‘girl’ items, which will be interchangeable and the design for the nursery will be finalized when they do know the genders of both.” Also on the registry are strollers, Moses baskets, a complete layette, blankets and a handful of toys.

[From OK!]

Can you imagine having $50,000 to spend on your own, adult room? Most of us would be thrilled with $50,000 to spend decorating our whole house. But a baby? Come on, the kid is going to have no idea. You know the rule, you buy your child an expensive toy, and they have more fun playing in the box it came in. I bet you anything, Baby Lopez (I’m calling him/her that because the idea of a Baby Anthony is utterly terrifying to my soul) will spend more of its time making forts under the golden crib than giving a care that he/she has a golden crib in the first place. Regardless, I’d love to say “Congrats” to the happy couple, but until I hear an announcement, I’m going to technically assume that J-Lo has just gotten fat in one very specific area. So until you tell me otherwise Jennifer, I’m going to suggest that you might want to do some sit-ups.

Halle Berry has a strange sense of humor. Or at least she has friends with a strange sense of humor. She was on David Letterman the other night talking about her pregnancy. She mentioned that her morning sickness really lasted all day. I hear that from so many women that I can’t help but wonder why in the world they call it morning sickness. Because it starts then? What the heck ? That implies it lasts for a limited period of time, and it’s incredibly deceptive. If they called it first trimester sickness, I’m guessing fewer women would be willing to have babies. It’s probably related to propagation of the species or something.

Halle also mentioned that she had a 3D ultrasound of the baby done. Those are so cool, they let you actually see the face a little bit. Anyway, she claims that her friends all think the baby looks like David Letterman. For some reason she mentioned this, but didn’t bring the actual ultrasound. Luckily, Dave had a mockup ready.

That is going to be one beautiful baby!

There’s been a lot of press in the last year or so talking about various celebrities and their struggles to get pregnant. I know that it’s an incredibly common problem, and several of the commentors on here have talked about their struggles with fertility. It’s good to know there’s support in numbers, and that celebrities aren’t immune to the struggles of everyday people. Helena Bonham Carter and her husband Tim Burton struggled with infertility after having their first child, four-year-old Billy Ray. Yeah the name surprised me a little too. Bonham Carter, 41, assumed that she wasn’t ovulating, so she began a course of treatment with Clomid, which is designed to stimulate egg production. It turns out she was still ovulating, and had a bad reaction to the Clomid, which is apparently not that uncommon.

“‘It stressed me out beyond belief. Hormonally, I was all over the shop and I got really low emotionally. Lots of people don’t have that reaction, but on the internet I found a Clomid Club, with people who react to the stuff discussing it online,’ she said. After going to a North London acupuncturist who supplied a variety of teas to ‘build my strength up,’ Bonham Carter, also tried Tui Na (literally ‘push and grasp’), an acupuncture-related Chinese massage for patients who prefer to avoid needles.

“But with her biological clock ticking loudly in her ear, she realized Oriental medicine wasn’t the solution she’d hoped for – and the next viable option was In vitro fertilization. ‘We might have gone for a round of IVF,’ Bonham Carter said. ‘There was an argument for just having one child, because we thought if that’s the way it’s meant to be, so be it.’ But the pregnancy came naturally, under the intense pressure of making a movie musical.

“While being directed by Burton alongside Johnny Depp in the title role of Stephen Sondheim’s musical Sweeney Todd, Bonham Carter discovered she was pregnant . ‘I was working so hard at the time,’ she recalled. ‘The first three months being pregnant while filming, I felt totally spaced out. You do need to multi-task with acting. You’ve got to remember your marks, your lines, singing, everything, and actually – you have no brain! Suddenly your own brain is growing another person’s brain, so yours goes defunct,’ said Bonham Carter who is due in December. ‘It wasn’t ideal, but then I was so happy to be pregnant.’”

[From People]

Helena Bonham Carter is super lucky to have gotten pregnant naturally. Though I don’t know a ton about fertility issues, I can’t help but wonder if it was just a lucky fluke, or if the Clomid and alternative therapies might have worked in conjunction and helped her out. I can’t imagine how stressful and exhausting it would be to film a movie while pregnant… though one would hope that if your husband is the director, he’d cut you some extra slack. And massage your feet from his director’s chair.

Bonham Carter also has been craving Marmite during the last few months of her pregnancy. I was pretty sure that was some kind of animal, probably related to sloths or lemurs, but it turns out it’s a “British and New Zealand spread made from yeast extract, a by-product of beer brewing. The British version is sticky, dark brown paste with a distinctive, powerful taste. This distinctive taste is reflected in the British company’s marketing slogan: ‘Love it or hate it.’” Thanks, Wikipedia. I’m glad to know Helena Bonham Carter isn’t eating sloths. Although that could be a kind of alternative therapy too. Probably for insomnia though.

Picture note by Jaybird: Here’s Helena and Tim at the Royal Academy Summer Exhibition on June 6th. Header image at the “Harry Potter And The Order Of The Phoenix” London Premiere on July 3rd. Images thanks to PR Photos.

We were all declaring Angelina Jolie pregnant after looked 5 centimeters fuller in the abdomen last month and then went out wearing a ponchp, but that maybe-bump doesn’t seem to have grown so the tabloids have conveniently forgotten about it and have moved on to speculating on the state of other female celebrities’ wombs. If Angelina isn’t pregnant, she must be trying though, right?

Star Magazine says she’s so desperate to have another biological baby that she’s turned to in vitro fertilization, but all they have is a bunch of insider quotes and no details to support their claims. It doesn’t sound true to me, but when they’re running cover stories about how “Celebrity Stylists Tell All” they may as well include a throwaway Brangelina fertility story in there for good measure.

Of course “the source” claims Angelina was told by doctors to gain some weight to increase her chances at conceiving.

Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie are so desperate to have another biological child, they’ve turned to in vitro fertilization to make their dream come tru. “They agreed months ago that if they couldn’t do it the natural way, they would see a fertility specialist,” a source tells Star. Unfortunately, the couple hasn’t been able to conceive the natural way, so they’ve now started the in vitro process, says the source.

“Doctors have told her to gain at least 10 pounds,” says a source. They said she needs a certain percentage of body fat to help her chances of getting pregnant.”

They also say she’s overworked and has more films lined up, and that may decrease her chances at becoming pregnant. And of course she would rather adopt supposedly, but is trying for another biological child to make Brad happy.

The whole thing sounds so made up to me, especially since Brad and Angelina are followed constantly and could hardly make it to a doctors office without the paparazzi knowing about it. If they were indeed visiting a fertility clinic, there would be more details than just some “insider quotes.”

This is just a way to cover up the fact that she doesn’t seem to be pregnant again despite all our declarations that she was. If she is knocked up, she’s not showing yet.

Angelina Jolie is shown picking Maddox up from school on 10/10/07, thanks to WENN. He left the Lycee Francais school in NY after a month on Friday, and will return to L.A. where Angelina will be shooting The Changeling with Clint Eastwood.

Jennifer Lopez smirked her way through David Letterman’s baby blabber, and ignored Diane Sawyer’s hints at how ‘happy she was’, but no direct baby questions were asked. Are we getting the impression that maybe some kind of pre-interview confidentiality agreement is out there? After all, David wasn’t exactly polite to Paris Hilton last week about going to prison. Maybe J.Lo is scarier than Paris?

However, one person has signed nothing but divorce papers from Marc Anthony, and she has a word to say about J.Lo’s pregnancy.

Jennifer Lopez is pregnant, says her husband Marc Anthony’s ex-wife.

Dayanara Torres – who has two children with Marc – confirmed Jennifer and her singer husband are expecting their first child.

The former Miss Universe said yesterday (09.10.07): “I found out a day ago. I suppose they will be happy because when my sister had her baby they were happy.”

Jennifer, who is currently touring with Marc, has remained silent about the rumoured pregnancy – instead choosing to disguise her figure in loose-fitting outfits.

Monsters and Critics

I’m glad Jennifer’s stepkids will like the baby, but here’s a weird response J.Lo’s publicist gave to Dayanara Torres’ statement.

“What happened was that the day before I had shown Dayanara the pictures which have been spreading through the Internet of Jennifer, and I warned her that, as had been published, she might be pregnant. I did it in case the children asked her. The eldest is six years old, and he hears the comments at school and on the press. But the truth is we know nothing.”

E!Online

Er, what? If they publish enough pictures of your pregnant belly, it makes you pregnant?

I’m offering congratulations to Jennifer and Marc right now. I am hugely pregnant right now and sick of people pointing out how big and fat I am (and yes, people actually use the term ‘fat’), so I can imagine that if she’s not pregnant she’s hating all the speculation. If she isn’t pregnant, then I guess the belly explains the lackluster dance moves on her tour – too out of shape to groove.

Picture note by Celebitchy: Jennifer Lopez is shown outside the Late Show and performing on GMA on 10/9/07. She is also shown outside of MTV studios on 10/8/07. Thanks to PRPhotos.

I didn’t realize Punky Brewster was still around – I think I got her confused with the little girl from the Poltergeist movies – but it turns out she is, and is pregnant with her second child. Oh, and she’s totally hot. I hate her. In that good, jealous way. Soleil Moon Frye has opened a green children’s boutique called The Little Seed in L.A. I have a freakish admiration for the eco-friendly folks. I’m trying to learn to be better – I’ve switched from Kleenex to hankies, which I think saves about a tree a day, at the rate I get sinus infections. So I’m pretty sure I’m right up there with Soleil Moon Frye.

“‘It’s an opportunity to make the planet a little greener,’ Frye, 31, tells PEOPLE. ‘I haven’t slept at all these last few months. It’s probably a combination of pregnancy and opening this store. It’s so exciting.’

“The boutique, located in the hip enclave of Larchmont Village, carries green products, including sustainable furniture from Kalon Studios, organic toys from Zid Zid and non-toxic crayons and paints from Stockmeyer.

“‘I had such a hard time finding great organic and non-toxic items for my daughter,’ says Frye. ‘I wanted to create a place where parents can come and find products that are safe for their children, as well as good for the planet.’”

[From People]

Oh you do-gooders. You make me look so bad in comparison. You make my hankies seem so insignificant. No, I won’t go there. You can never take my hankies from me. Frye’s first daughter, who’s name is Poet (I’ll give you a minute to digest that) is crazy about the store and all the cool toys. Plus, she’s probably not going to get some crazy lead-based poison like all the other little kids whose parents bought years of tainted toys. So that’s always nice. I think gnawing on a melamine Big Bird did some serious damage to me back in the day.

“Her daughter’s favorite item? ‘Poet loves to paint and draw,’ says Frye about her two-year-old daughter with husband Jason Goldberg, 36. ‘As soon as she comes to the store, she grabs the crayons and starts a new art project.’ The actress, who founded the store with Paige Tolmach and Beth Birkett, reveals her second pregnancy hasn’t been easy. ‘The first trimester was rough,’ she says. ‘I don’t know why you call it morning sickness, because I was sick all day and night!’ Still, she adds: ‘I’m finally feeling good.’

“Frye says her daughter Poet is already bonding with the baby, due in the spring. ‘She talks to the belly all the time and tells the baby she loves it.’ Frye and Goldberg have decided not to find out the gender of their child, but they’ve already started talking about names. ‘Poet is such a unique name,’ she says about her daughter, whose full name is Poet Sienna Rose Goldberg. ‘And we have a family of crazy, wonderful names so we have a lot to live up to.’”

[From People]

I say you name the next kid Bob or Jane, depending on the sex. For that family, that probably would be a unique, weird name. And if nothing else, it’ll let the kid know from the get-go that you weren’t all that interested in them, so you don’t have to spend years neglecting them to figure it out. In fact, that’s the route Britney Spears should have gone. Would have saved her a lot of time of having to neglect the kids.

If you could guarantee me that I’d be as happy a pregnant woman as Halle Berry is, I’d keep myself knocked up and pregnant like a milk cow for the rest of my life. The woman actually says she loves the hot sweats and the throwing up and all the terrible, atrocious things that come with being pregnant. I always assumed those things were God’s way of letting us know not to pop out too many babies. It’s like natural population control. Of course if we were all like Halle Berry, there’d be about 12 billion extra people hanging out. Or something like that, I don’t believe in math.

“For expectant mom Halle Berry, her current condition is all good – even the wardrobe. ‘There’s no bad,’ the Oscar winner, 41, said Sunday at a press gathering for her new movie, Things We Lost in the Fire, which opens Oct. 19. ‘There is nothing bad about it. The morning sickness and the vomiting and the hot sweats. Nothing’s been bad about it. I’ve loved every second of it,’ she said.

“Holding up four fingers when asked how many months along she is, Berry also said, in response to a query about ‘maternity chic’ and what she’s wearing these days, ‘I think I feel like I’m such a slave to fashion. It’s a hard concept for me to fathom that I’m going to have to wear maternity clothes.’ But, as she also sees it, ‘Fashion is on my side.’ Indicating her empire waist, she adds, ‘Everything is up here and shift-y, so I think I can work it out in normal clothes with normal designers in their collections until the eighth or ninth month, then I might have to break down and do maternity.’”

[From People]

That woman is cra-to-the-z. Seriously. She loves the morning sickness? I know women who are desperate to have kids are super happy when they finally get pregnant, but is it normal to actually love all the terrible parts too? I’ll probably kick myself for saying that in ten years. But if she’s that happy, that’s great, I wish the rest of us could feel so good.

Halle spent the weekend attending the premiere for her new movie with David Duchovny and Benicio del Toro, “Things We Lost in the Fire.” For some reason boyfriend and baby daddy Gabriel Aubry didn’t accompany her, and instead Berry was escorted by del Toro. I’m not going to go so far as to say there’s trouble, but I do find that a little weird, given all the public baby promotion she’s been doing lately. Let’s hope everything is cool with them.

Picture Note by Jaybird: Talk about a pregnant glow! Header image of Halle at the “Thing We Lost in the Fire” premiere on Saturday. Image thanks to WENN. Here’s Halle showing off her bump to Oprah. Images thanks to Splash Photos.

Christina Aguilera is quite vexing to me. Yes I went there, she is vexing. The blond bombshell has never announced her pregnancy – though Paris Hilton did kind of do it for her – yet she’s now registered for gifts for her baby shower. She is the worst secret-keeper ever. First off, letting Paris Hilton know that you’re pregnant is the same thing as calling up Liz Smith. Though I’m pretty sure Paris has Liz Smith on speed dial. So one could argue that if Christina has the tiniest amount of intelligence, she knew what would happen by telling Paris. But who in the world would want that skank announcing that you’re bringing new, (theoretically) pure life into the world? That’s like blessing the baby with Chlamydia. I don’t know if Christina thought that Paris’s announcement was tantamount to sending out frilly little “We’re expecting” cards, or if Christina’s just lazy, or if she somehow just doesn’t want to bother with telling the public – but clearly she’s not hiding it anymore, as registering for a bunch of baby stuff is a pretty clear indication that you’ve got a bun in the oven. I bun that’s been warming for like 4 or 5 months, right?

“A shopping spree in West Hollywood is nothing unusual for Christina Aguilera. But this early Saturday evening’s excursion was a first for the singer. With her husband Jordan Bratman, her mother-in-law and her sister-in-law in tow, Aguilera spent two hours picking out items for her baby registry at the posh Robertson Boulevard boutique Bel Bambini. ‘She looked beautiful,’ says store sales employee Crysta Smith about the singer, who wore a long black skirt and a cotton jacket. ‘She had a little bump. She said she was so excited [to have a baby].’

“Aguilera, who has never officially confirmed her pregnancy, told the staff that she was expecting – and revealed the gender of her baby, but asked to keep it private. With the help of her in-laws, the couple picked out a selection of items for her upcoming baby shower, including blankets, diaper bags, bottles and clothing. ‘They registered for all the accessories,’ says Smith. ‘They were both picking out things together.’’

[From People]

This is normally where I’d say “Awww” and start making those embarrassing baby kissy noises I wish I didn’t make. But I’m not going to give Christina Aguilera the benefit of my baby kissy noises until she gives me the dignity of acknowledging that she’s going to have one.

I think she may be doing this out of principle. Something like, “Jane Doe doesn’t have to announce to the world when she’s pregnant, why should I?” Now I’m arguing with a hypothetical Christina Aguilera, and I acknowledge that – but my retort to said hypothetical singer is that you’re famous, and you announced when you were engaged and married and when you were going on tour, so I think you could do your (possibly) adoring public the courtesy of letting us know that you’re knocked up. There’s a snuggly little stuffed duck in it for you.

Picture Note by Jaybird: Header image of Christina Aguilera shopping for baby bottles and clothing at a trendy baby store in Los Angeles yesterday. Image thanks to Splash Photos.

Maybe I’ve got baby bumps on the brain after spotting what I’m pretty sure is evidence that Cate Blanchett is pregnant with her third child. Looking at these candids of Nicole Kidman and Keith Urban out to dinner in NY City on Saturday, she looks like she has a baby bump to me. In photos of Kidman wearing a striking black v-neck dress at New Line’s 40th Anniversary Gala the night before, she also shows a hint of a bump in her dress.

I’ve been wrong about Nicole Kidman before, and she sometimes looks like she has a tiny little belly, so it could possible be a false alarm. She’s made no secret of the fact that she’s anxious to start a family with Urban, once saying she wanted to be a hippie island mother:

“I’d like to be a mum again. I always thought I’d live on a Fijian island. I love the idea of being in a sarong, with hair down to my bum and kids following me around.”

[From Vogue December, 2006 Interview via US Magazine]

In a recent interview published in the Belfast Telegraph, 40 year-old Kidman repeats the claim that she wants to have biological children soon:

“I always wanted someone to sweep me off my feet and have children with them,” she admits. “To me love was more important to my career every time.”

Last year, she married country music singer Keith Urban and reveals that, although she is already mum to adopted kids Bella (14) and Connor (12), she is keen to have more children.

“I’d love it,” she says wistfully. “I don’t know if it will happen but I’d feel very, very blessed if that was given to me.”

[From Belfast Telegraph]

It’s possible Kidman just has a tiny stomach, I know mine is bigger than that on a good day, but considering how skinny she is would she have a little lower belly like that?

I hope Kidman’s wish comes true and that she gets pregnant if that’s what she’s trying for. Jennifer Lopez is said to pregnant with twins after trying for quite a while, and it seems like the fertility luck is strong for celebrities this year.

Update: I wrote this post before I saw pictures of Kidman at the New York Film Festival screening of Margot at the Wedding last night with Jennifer Jason Leigh. It looks like the bump is more elusive than I thought, but she’s still clutching her purse in front of her like she’s hiding something.