Headlines involving the words “Kate” and “Wait” are nothing new. In fact, there’s a decades’ worth of those headlines, but they all involve her waiting for the ring, Duchess Kate’s only career goal ever. So this is slightly new – The Mail reports that despite centuries of royal history and the expectations of a decade’s worth of waiting, Duchess Kate and Prince William aren’t going to try for a baby in their first year of marriage. In fact, they probably won’t even get to it in their second year of marriage.

Prince William and Kate are putting off having a family until next year so they can focus on the Diamond Jubilee and the London Olympics.

Despite hopes of a Jubilee baby, sources close to the couple say they are in ‘no hurry’ to start a family and want to make sure that 2012 is a success for the sake of the Queen’s 60th anniversary celebrations.

‘Realistically there is not going to be time for a baby and they have said they are in no hurry. There is no urgent need for an heir – we already have two,’ says a source. ‘William and Kate want to take things in their own good time.’

The news comes as Clarence House confirmed that Kate, 30, will start solo official engagements next month, once William leaves for his first tour of duty in the Falkland Islands.

‘It will be a good distraction for her and take her mind off worrying about William,’ says the source. ‘At the moment, starting a family is definitely on the backburner.’

The Duchess of Cambridge – who married William last April – is the Royal patron of The Art School, National Portrait Gallery, Action On Addiction, and East Anglia’s Children’s Hospices. She has also said she will volunteer with the Scout Association.

‘The Duchess will have a handful of engagements while the Duke is away,’ a spokesman says. ‘She will visit all her patronages publicly at least once and continue to visit them privately. It will be a busy period. The reason she chose so few charities is that she wants to get to know them intimately.’

William and Kate will be apart for six weeks in February and March, then they will gear up for the Jubilee weekend in June. In September or October they will tour Singapore, Malaysia, the Solomon Islands and Tuvalu.

[From The Mail]

I really don’t understand why Kate couldn’t be pregnant AND working as a royal? Princesses have done it for years and decades and centuries, fulfilling their royal duties at the same time, if you know what I mean. Like walking and chewing gum, actively being pregnant and making appearances on behalf of the monarch doesn’t seem like it’s something so grueling, no one has ever done it before. Anyway, I guess the British people will just have to WAIT as Kate is slowly, methodically eased into her royal role at a snail’s pace, and they’ll have to wait until Kate and William are well into their 30s for them to produce a royal heir.

Look, I’m not saying there’s anything wrong with waiting until your 30s to start a family – there’s absolutely nothing wrong with that, and I actually do think it’s very interesting to see that more “modern” trend happen in the royal family. But just know that in this, Kate and William really are breaking with tradition in a big way. Most royal brides produce an heir very quickly, and people were really expecting Will and Kate to start having babies, considering William made her wait so long for the ring. I also think Kate is misjudging her popularity – royal brides pop out babies quickly for PR reasons too, because everybody loves babies and babies “soften” the image of a princess and give her something to “do” (as in, “Kate is raising a family, that’s what she does all day.”). If Kate isn’t pregnant two years out from the wedding, I think there will be a big backlash against her, honestly. Because what the hell does she do with her time? “Kate gets her hair done, and goes shopping, that’s all she’s done during two years of marriage.”

Photos courtesy of Fame/Flynet, WENN.

On Friday, we discussed the Duchess of Cambridge’s decision to fly to Mustique with her family for one of her dozen yearly vacations. I noted how oddly tone-deaf it was for Kate to go on a family vacation without her husband of less than a year, given that the palace was trying to play Kate as the sympathetic military wife who was devastated at the prospect of being without Prince William for six weeks. As it turns out, Prince William will be joining Kate and the Middletons in Mustique, although that information was only reported two days after Kate flew to Mustique. Kate left on Wednesday (first class!), and it’s thought that William flew to meet her yesterday, or he’s flying today. Still, she left him in Wales so she could spend a few extra days on vacation.

Wills is headed on vacation! Kate Middleton may have gotten a head start with some fun in the sun on the island of Mustique, but as it turns out, her hubby Prince William isn’t far behind!

“He’s leaving tomorrow morning,” a source tells Us Weekly. “It wasn’t set in stone because William needed to clear the week of work first.”

On Wednesday, the 30-year-old Duchess flew first class to St. Lucia with her parents, Mike and Carole Middleton and her siblings, Pippa and James Middleton. After arriving in the Caribbean, the family made their way to the ultra-private island of Mustique, where they will celebrate Carole’s 57th birthday (her actual birthday is January 31).

This isn’t the first time the Middletons took Mustique. The family, sans Kate, vacationed there last August.

This vacation may be the last bit of R&R that the Duke of Cambridge, 29, sees for awhile. The Prince, who is a search-and-rescue co-pilot for the Royal Air Force, is scheduled to be deployed to the Falkland Islands, which is the center of fresh tension between Great Britain and Argentina, next month.

[From Us Weekly]

Well, I’ll take back what I said about Kate’s tone-deaf PR image – she and Will are just enjoying one last vacation before he leaves for the Falklands. I can understand that, although I still think it says something about Kate’s laziness – her whole life is a series of vacations. And would it have been such an imposition to wait until William had gotten the time off so they could leave together? I’m just sayin’.

Meanwhile, The Mail reports that Kate’s presence on the island of Mustique is causing a lot of consternation. Security has been heightened, but Mustique is the kind of place where pretty much everybody is really, really wealthy. So, basically, millionaires and billionaires are being treated like crap because security guards think everybody will be taking photos of Kate lounging around in a bikini. One dude complained: “This isn’t exactly the way one expects to be treated when you pay very good money to visit the most exclusive island in the Caribbean.” A security guard on the island – who is reportedly working with Kate’s team of bodyguards – tells The Mail, “The concern isn’t crime. It is that visitors might try to take photos of the VIPs who are here on their phones.” Yes, because God knows what the British public would think if they saw more photos of Kate sitting around, doing nothing. IMAGE CONTROL!!! Must control Kate’s image!!!

When Kate returns to the UK and William goes to the Falklands, how will Kate spend her time? The Mail reports that Kate is “dreading” William’s absence, and that she’s not even going to stay at their Anglesey house while he’s gone. She’s going to be staying at Kensington Palace, and she’s going to begin doing some charitable work at long last. And yes, she’s also going to take some much needed “breaks” to spend more time with her family in Bucklebury, and Camilla Parker-Bowles has invited Kate to spend some time at Clarence House. I’m sure Kate will manage to fit in another vacation, don’t you? It will be difficult, but she’s made it clear that vacations are her top priority.

Here are some photos of Will and Kate on vacation with her family, back in 2006:

Photos courtesy of PR Photos, Fame.

A few days ago, Us Weekly ran a story about Prince William’s stoic bravery in the face of being sent the Falkland Islands. The gist was that tensions are currently rising between the UK and Argentina, even after they fought a war with each other over these crazy, rocky little islands. Basically, the whole thing was positioned in a way where you’re supposed to think that as soon as Prince William arrives at the Falklands, Brazil is going to declare war on William personally and poor Duchess Kate will never see her husband again! In truth, Prince William is only going to be gone for six weeks, and he’s just going through the same kind of training that other military pilots go through. I can’t believe politicians are still upset about the Falklands!

Anyway, with William being positioned as The Savior of Rocky, Desolate Islands That No One Should Fight Over, Duchess Kate is being positioned as the brave, selfless military wife who will pine away for her new husband every single day of his absence, all while endlessly re-applying her eyeliner. So it’s a wonder that the Palace is so tone-deaf with this – Kate has just flown off to vacation in Mustique with her family – and without William!

Rainy and 48 degrees in London on Friday. No matter: The Duchess of Cambridge – with parents Michael and Carole, sister Pippa and brother James – is off on a sunny vacation, PEOPLE has confirmed.

Passengers on a British Airways flight from London’s Gatwick Airport to St. Lucia in the Caribbean were surprised to see the family in the first class section on Wednesday, a photographer blogged. Their presumed final destination: one of their regular holiday haunts, the private isle of Mustique.

It is believed that Prince William is not with them, as the search and rescue helicopter pilot is spending this week at his RAF base in Anglesey, Wales, after hunting last weekend on an estate in Spain with brother Prince Harry.

Mustique, where Kate and William have been frequent visitors, is a well-known, pricey haunt for such celebrities as Mick Jagger and Queen Elizabeth’s late sister, Princess Margaret. It was even inspected as a possible honeymoon destination for William and Kate.

The trip to the sun comes just days after Kate’s 30th birthday on Jan. 9 and before Carole’s 57th at the end of the month.

The Palace had no comment on Kate’s vacation.

[From People]

Sure, married couples often take separate vacations, and if William is busy and Kate wants to spend time with her family, why not? Except that we shouldn’t have to hear about Kate’s heartbreak and how brave she is to WAIT for William to come back – she can’t even be bothered to spend time with him before he leaves for the Falklands! Plus, the palace should stop with the “Kate will spend this time building up her charitable portfolio” crap. She’s on vacation – AGAIN. Like always. So much for her charitable work!

By the way, have you heard that Pippa Middleton has lawyers, and those lawyers have taken out an injunction against the “harassing” paparazzi? Go here to read all about it – my problem with this is that Pippa loves the spotlight and she actively engages it. I know she gets pap’d way more than her sister, but Pippa has definitely encouraged it. Guess she doesn’t want to be “the star” anymore? Or maybe she just wants to control her image.

Photos courtesy of WENN, Pacific Coast News.

Happy 30th birthday, Duchess Kate! To celebrate her birthday eve, Kate walked the red carpet with her husband last night in London for the UK premiere of Steven Spielberg’s War Horse. War Horse is based on an acclaimed and beloved English play, and they probably shot a great deal of the film in the UK too – Spielberg and the British Film Council go waaaaaay back. Plus, it’s a movie about a horse, so of course the British royalty came out. Fun fact: did you know that Duchess Kate is allergic to horses? True story. Here’s another fun fact: one of the stunt horses used in the film, “Joey”, walked the red carpet as well.

Kate wore this black and white lace Alice Temperley gown for the premiere… thoughts on the dress? You know how I feel about lace and/or crochet dresses. A little goes a long way, and a lot will make you look like a doily. Somehow, Kate managed to avoid the “doily effect” even though this is much, much too much lace for one dress. I think it comes close to working because the black lace isn’t too heavy or intricate, and you can see the white slip/sheath part very clearly. Plus, the dress is cut very well. Basically, it’s not my favorite (far from it), but I don’t think Kate looks bad at all.

Should we even talk about her hair and makeup? Her hair is always down. It gets boring, especially for formal events and evening events, which traditionally demand more of a “style” rather than just big sausage-roll curls hanging down in her face. As for the makeup – well, the only time Kate’s too-heavy raccoon eye makeup ever looks appropriate is when she’s at a formal occasion. On this red carpet, her makeup looks fine. It’s when she does it for daywear and low-key events that it looks terrible.

Oh, and it seems like William is dominating the umbrella, right? Poor Kate! It probably took her hair stylist hours to do those perfect sausage rolls, and all for naught!

PS… I’m including a photo of Benedict Cumberbatch at the premiere, just in case we get some Cumberbitch/Waity-defender crossover fans.

Photos courtesy of WENN.

The blurry photos of Duchess Kate and Prince William (separately) are new! Kate and Will rang in the new year at her parents’ house in Berkshire. It’s interesting because there were lots of reports that Will and Kate would be spending New Year’s in Scotland, with Prince Charles, or perhaps even in Mustique, where Kate’s parents have a home (rent a home?). Anyway, none of that came to pass. Instead, Kate and Will spent New Year’s in a teepee on her parents’ lawn. Seriously!

Party like a royal! Despite buzz that Prince William and Catherine would ring in the New Year at his father’s sprawling Aberdeen, Scotland, estate, when it came time to celebrate, the couple chose a more low-key locale: a tent pitched in the back garden of the Middleton family home in Berkshire, England.

According to the U.K.’s Mail on Sunday, Pippa, who’s in the party-planning business, played host.

And the stylish sister has expensive taste: The tent, a teepee-style kata made of animal hides, cost nearly $5,000 (3,000 British pounds).

Described by an onlooker as a “canvas palace,” the tent enclosed a dance floor and seating for more than 100 partygoers.

Notably missing: Prince Harry, who rang in the New Year in Switzerland, where he was spotted at the ski resort Verbier.

“[Catherine] looked full of the joys of the season,” a local said of the royal, 29, who laughed and joked with her husband, also 29.

The celebration in her hometown comes nearly a week after the duchess’s first Christmas as a royal in Sandringham, Norfolk.

[From People]

At first I was like, “Damn, $5000 teepee? Expensive taste, Pippa.” But really, $5000 for a teepee with a dance floor and seating and everything? Not that bad. What strikes me again is that William really does love Kate’s family. It might even be that Kate’s stable family life is one of his favorite things about her. It’s nice that Kate and Will were able to split their holiday between his family and hers, and it certainly bodes well for their future together, and it signals that William will continue to embrace his “commoner” in-laws.

Photos courtesy of Fame.

Thank you so much for visiting, reading and commenting! Kaiser, Bedhead and I appreciate it and hope you’re having a great holiday. Let’s all raise our glasses to the year in gossip and best wishes for a happy scandalous 2012. Have an excellent New Year!

Here are our most popular posts of 2011 based on number of comments:
1. Brad Pitt backtracks: “It is not that Jen was dull, but…”

2. Brad Pitt talks about “feeling pathetic” in his marriage to Jennifer Aniston

3. Jennifer Aniston named “the Hottest Woman of All Time” by Men’s Health Mag

4. Angelina Jolie: “I’m still a bad girl, it just… belongs to Brad and our adventures”

5. Halle Berry on Nahla’s race: “I feel like she’s black, I believe in the one-drop theory”

6. Eddie Cibrian cut child support at same time he “bought” $85k ring for LeAnn

7. LeAnn Rimes bought Eddie Cibrian a Porsche for Christmas, and that’s not all

8. Heidi Bivens’ mom confirms Heidi’s “complicated” meeting with Jennifer Aniston

9. The Royal Wedding Open Post: When Baldy Met Glossy

10. Woody Allen’s son disgusted by his dad marrying his sister & won’t talk to him

Update: Here are the most popular stories based on number of pageviews, not comments. Disclaimer: The Goop story had so many hits because some huge newspaper website in the Netherlands linked it.

1. Gwyneth Paltrow goes topless, wears fishnets for Vanity Fair: Goopy or cute?

2. Prince William is worried about Kate Middleton’s dramatic weight loss

3. Jim Parsons’ boyfriend called off their wedding because Jim doesn’t want kids

4. Mila Kunis’s cell phone pics of Justin Timberlake were reportedly hacked

5. More “Blake Lively” naked photos released, is it really Blake?

Yay! New Duchess Kate photos. These are from Christmas morning at Sandringham, where the royal family has their annual Christmas holiday with military precision. Every site has a different color description for Kate’s coat and hat. I’m saying… purple? It’s not dark enough for “eggplant” and there isn’t enough red to be considered “berry” or “burgundy”. Let’s just say a shade of purple. I actually love the coat, and the hat is very cute – Kate has a face for hats. She’s very lucky that way. The hat is by Jane Corbett, the shoes are “£169 black suede heels by Spanish designer Mascaro.” And Kate seems to be wearing new earrings too – The Mail claims they are a gift from William, a pair of $3500 “gold drop” earrings by Kiki McDonough. William has nice taste in jewelry, if they were a gift from William.

Anyway, the royal family was one short this Christmas – Prince Phillip had to undergo emergency heart surgery after suffering from chest pains on Friday. His surgery was to treat a “blocked coronary artery” and a palace spokesman said, “The Duke is in genuinely good form. He’s in great spirits and had a good night’s sleep last night. The royal family will be continuing with their Christmas traditions as normal today. Sadly the Boxing Day shoot will have to go ahead without Phillip.” Here’s more about the royal Christmas:

The Duke and Duchess of Cambridge joined Queen Elizabeth at church for two services on Christmas morning – and they drew quite the crowd eager to see them.

With many watching, the couple walked to and from church with much of their family. The Queen, however, took a car to the services – just a short drive from her home at Sandringham, Norfolk. Key in her family’s thoughts and prayers: Prince Philip, who is still in the hospital after undergoing emergency surgery on Friday.

William and Kate were joined on the walk to the 16th century St. Mary Magdalene Church by Prince Charles; William’s cousins Princess Beatrice and Eugenie; and newlyweds Zara Phillips and Mike Tindall. Kate, in an aubergine-colored coat by an unnamed British designer and hat by Jane Corbett, was flanked by husband William, 29, and her brother-in-law Prince Harry, 27.

This is the first time Kate, 29, has spent Christmas with the royal family – a fact that likely boosted the number of people who came out to watch from the sidelines.

The 11 a.m. service, which begun with a rendition of the national anthem, was the second visit to the church for senior members of the family, who privately attended the communion service at 9 a.m.

After nearly 40 minutes, the family emerged again to greet well-wishers. Kate chatted with some children, and Beatrice was seen with armfuls of flowers. The Queen was overwhelmed with bouquets from royals fans.

The royals are set to have a traditional turkey lunch – then watch the Queen’s speech.

And, in the mid-afternoon, members of the family, including Prince William, paid Prince Philip a 45-minute visit at the hospital. A spokesman for Buckingham Palace tells PEOPLE, “The Duke of Edinburgh was visited by some of his grandchildren at Papworth hospital this afternoon: The Duke of Cambridge, Prince Harry, Princess Beatrice, Princess Eugenie, Peter Phillips and Zara Tindall.” The spokesman added that Duke is in “good spirits” and “will remain in hospital under observation for a short period.”

The grandchildren’s visit comes a day after the Queen went to his bedside Saturday.

[From People]

Elizabeth and Phillip have been married for FIFTY SIXTY-FOUR YEARS. Can you believe that? Phillip is the only man that the Queen has ever loved. I have a feeling – and I hate to even say this, but here goes – that if Phillip goes first, the Queen won’t outlive him by very long. They’ve just got their routine, and I suspect the Queen will fall apart without him. Their shared history is rather amazing, and they complete each other in some strange way. Sigh… do you think Kate and William will have that kind of partnership in fifty years’ time? I wonder…

Photos courtesy of Fame.

A few nights ago, Duchess Kate and her husband and her brother-in-law all went to an awards ceremony for military personnel. Kate wore a rather gorgeous Alexander McQueen gown that was pretty much universally loved. The only thing most of bitched about was her “signature” Waity-Katy curls o’plenty. Kate has one hairstyle, even for red carpet events. Anyway, when I was looking through those photos, I remarked on Kate’s figure, and how she was looking healthier. Not so emaciated, more toned and fit, like she’d been eating solids and exercising. Well, I take it back.

These are new photos of Kate and Will at Centrepoint, a charity dealing with the homeless. William is a patron of the charity, as was his mother. This was Will and Kate’s final charitable outing of the year, and look at how Kate chose to present herself. A sweater dress and little toothpick legs. I’m sorry, but those legs are not aspirational. Those legs frighten me. Probably because I remember how lovely and athletic her legs used to be – she used to look like an athletic girl, with toned, lovely legs, and now I feel like she could snap like a twig. Ugh.

The sweater dress is Ralph Lauren, by the way. It costs 350 pounds, which is… what? About $500-550? And she wore that to a homeless charity event? Sure. Okay. So, do we even have to talk about the possibility that she’s pregnant? I feel like she’s not. I feel like she’s not going to get knocked up until well into next year. Someone give her a carton of cigs for Christmas, because she’s not going to have to put on the baby weight for a while.

One last thing – and yes, I’m a broken record about this, but I just want to say it again. STOP saying that Kate is a classy dresser. She’s not. She’s skinny and she has barely any bust or hips or curves in any way, which is how she can pull off wearing skin-tight sweaterdresses and low-cut silk jersey dresses. If someone built like Sofia Vergara – or even Blake Lively, with her “enhanced” curves – tried to wear Kate’s outfits, it would look trashy and obscene.

PS… I swear, she’s doubling-down on the eye-liner. I think she’s added some blue eye shadow contouring. Also: I really hope Kate’s New Year’s resolution is to STOP PLAYING WITH HER HAIR.

Photos courtesy of WENN.

Yay! New Duchess Kate photos! These are pics of Kate on her special date night with both Prince Harry and Prince William. She was the black velvet meat in that sandwich, at least on that red carpet. Now… I’ve written some fan fiction about the possibility that Kate and Harry will end up in a “situation” with each other and that Kate’s future child could be a ginger, but none of the tabloids have picked up on it yet. COME ON. We’ve had fan-fiction and William and Pippa – we need Harry/Waity fan-fiction.

Anyway, the princes and the duchess were at the Sun Military Awards (“A Night of Heroes”), and Kate wore this lovely black velvet Alexander McQueen gown. I love the gown. I love the skirt of the gown in particular – it’s a beautifully cut dress. I like that Kate doesn’t look pregnant (I don’t think she is yet, and I don’t think she will be for months), but she looks… like she’s been eating solids? Her arms look toned and muscular, not bony. That’s nice. The only thing I don’t like? Her hair/weave/whatever. This dress deserved a real red carpet hairstyle, and Kate just did the same old thing.

Also – the jewelry that she’s wearing? Those pieces are apparently “wedding presents.” Who gives a bride jewelry for her wedding? Besides, like, the Queen and the bride’s parents, maybe.

This was one of the last public appearances Kate will make in 2011. She and William are due to make a charity visit later this week and then they’ll head to Sandringham for a royal holiday. And then in January, we’re supposed to hear which charities Kate will be signing on for. If she doesn’t have the goalpost moved again.

Photos courtesy of PR Photos.

This National Enquirer story is maybe one of my favorite stories of the year. I’m not saying it’s the truthiest or the most believable, because it’s totally not. It’s just an enjoyable piece of pure fiction that I absolutely loved. According to the Enquirer’s sources, Prince William is secretly in love with his wife’s sister, Pippa Middleton. William and Pippa. OMG.

Prince William is secretly in love with his wife’s stunning sister, Pippa Middleton – and insiders say the explosive scandal could take down the British monarchy once and for all! Pippa has been invited to join the royal family at the country estate of Sadringham Palace for Christmas as a guest of William and Kate’s for his younger brother Harry, but royal insiders reveal that it’s all a big sham. They claim it was William who orchestrated the whole affair – just so he can have Pippa around!

Insiders claims Kate has no idea her new husband is harboring such deep feelings for her sister, and that if she did, their eight-month marriage would be over.

“William has fallen hard for Pippa. He can’t take his eyes off her,” one insider told The Enquirer. “William is just using Harry as a smokescreen so he can have Pippa close by.”

Sources close to William divulged that William often fantasizes about Pippa, marveling: “My God, she’s so beautiful!” [Editor’s note: Srsly?]

“Kate would be beyond furious if she knew what was really going on! This could end up in divorce… Prince William now realizes he’s had a long, deep-seated love for his wife’s sister.”

Just weeks before William and Kate got married, some “racy” photos of Pippa were released on the Internet. Kate was “outraged” and immediately reprimanded her younger sibling. “But William LOVED the pictures,” insisted the insider. “They were fuel for his fantasies. He’s asked himself time and again, ‘Did I marry the wrong sister?’”

“Is this Pippa thing goes any further it could bring down the monarchy,” wanred another source. “Unless William lets go of his infatuation he could create the biggest royal scandal in recent history. Right now Pippa is his fantasy woman. We can only pray he comes to his senses and keeps it that way.”

[From The Enquirer, print edition]

Yes, this entire article was full of euphemisms for “Prince William jerks off to photos of his sister-in-law.” Excuse me, his “beautiful” (??) sister-in-law. I mean… on one side, poor Kate. She’s the pretty sister! Pippa is the ambitious sister, and Kate is the pretty one, the one with the motherlode of patience and a frightening lack of ambition. That being said, I could see why a dude – any dude, really – might prefer Pippa’s company over Kate’s. Pippa is Forever Uptradey, true, but she seems bright, opinionated, and loads more interesting than Kate. Pippa starts a conversation and dominates it, while Kate just asks, “What would you like to talk about?” and starts blinking furiously.

But seriously, none of this story is true. William wanted a geisha, someone who would know her “place,” someone who would never challenge him, and that’s what he got. I’m sure he’s very happy with his choice, and if he isn’t, he’ll just screw around and Kate will look the other way, just like she did when they were dating. There will be no talk of “divorce.” There will only be “Well, this is what you waited nine years for. Suck it up.”

Photos courtesy of WENN.