Boy Foxy Brown sure leads a charmed life. Even in prison the rapper has better footwear than most of the rest of us could ever dream about. According to the New York Post, Foxy, 27, pairs Louis Vuitton and Gucci sneakers with her prison jumpsuit. And when her designer shoes get dirty, she gets a new pair. I have a degree in criminology, and I’m pretty sure I never had a class called “Designer labels in prison.” Most of the prisoners I’ve met were thrilled when they got to wear something from K-Mart with their uniforms. Is anyone else thinking WTF?

Not surprisingly, Foxy is still having some serious issues in prison. She was put in solitary confinement after refusing to take a drug test, mouthing off to guards, and getting into a shoving match with another inmate. She was let out a month early – though her attitude doesn’t seem to have improved.

[Foxy]alienates most of the correction officers, threatening them with tough talk about the “juice” she has on the outside. She trusts no one but her mother and manager, and remains convinced, despite break after break, that everyone is out to get her. The diva Foxy Brown hasn’t changed one bit.

“If they release her today, she’ll be back in a week,” said Geoffrey Davis, a family friend who has visited the rapper several times since she was locked up at Rikers Island for violating her probation after a string of altercations. “I love her, and I have her best interests at heart, but I think she needs clinical help with anger management,” said Davis, an activist who runs a nonprofit, anti-violence organization in Brooklyn. Davis said he was trying to share with Foxy lessons from his own experience with anger and emotional distress. Davis’ brother, City Councilman James Davis, was slain by a political rival inside City Hall in 2003. But Davis said his advice has fallen on deaf ears. “She has to deal with her attitude,” Davis said.

[From the New York Post]

Foxy Brown is one of those people who is so arrogant and has such a ridiculous sense of entitlement that you actually want really bad things to happen to her. Okay I’m projecting. I actually want really bad things to happen to her. Her rap sheet is incredibly long, going back to her teen years. And she always takes her anger out on people she believes are here to serve her: maids, waitresses, manicurists, etc. Her issues don’t come from her deep-seated belief that she is better than everyone else. I’m guessing Rikers must be like a lot of other prisons that require inmates to supply their own clothing. Several that I’ve volunteered at had similar rules, however they didn’t allow any visible labels. Generally it meant a lot of Walmart white t-shirts and jeans; dealing with designer duds never even occurred to me. I hope they can find some reason Foxy can’t have her precious shoes: she’s been given too many breaks as it is.

My heart really goes out to Joe Francis these days. I mean could the man who’s imprisonment is “one of the greatest miscarriages of justice ever” possibly get a fair shake? Naw. The man with the world’s most insincere smile seems to have a problem with not getting special treatment. He claims to have been brutally abused during his brief two week stay at the Grady County Law Enforcement Center in Oklahoma. He claims that he was denied food and blankets and threatened with being strapped naked to a chair for two days. It appears that he actually just had one of his contraband extra blankets confiscated, and they refused to special order his fillet mignon medium rare. And the strapping into the chair naked thing? I’m pretty sure that’s what Joe considers a good time, so I don’t know what the hell he’s complaining about. Okay the steak thing isn’t true, but the other two are.

The millionaire producer of the “Girls Gone Wild” video series has accused guards of abusing him during his brief stay at an Oklahoma jail, a newspaper reported Friday. Guards at the Grady County Law Enforcement Center denied Joe Francis food and blankets and threatened to strap him naked to a chair for 48 hours, Francis’ attorneys alleged last month in court papers seeking his release on bail in a Florida case, The Oklahoman reported.

Grady County officials denied the accusations, telling the newspaper that guards never threatened to strap Francis to a chair, that Francis had an extra blanket he shouldn’t have had confiscated and that his transfer was delayed because his family had somehow found out when he was to have been moved, creating a potential security risk.

“Mr. Francis was treated like every inmate that comes through the Grady County Law Enforcement Center,” jail administrator Shane Wyatt told the newspaper.

[From Yahoo! News]

I think that last sentence perfectly summarizes the problem here. Joe Francis was treated like everyone else, and not like the sexy rock star he is. And if I were Joe Francis and I looked into the mirror and saw my Alvin from Alvin and the Chipmunks face looking back at me all sexy and didn’t get special treatment for looking so good, I’d be pretty damn pissed too. Seriously, does anyone even care if Joe Francis gets shanked in prison? I didn’t think so. All his hissy fitting it just giving the rest of us more opportunities to make fun of him. And let’s be honest, with a face like that, he probably shouldn’t give us more fodder than we already have.

Amy Winehouse’s life is pretty much going to Hell in a hand basket. The British Britney Spears’ husband, Blake Fielder-Civil was arrested last week for witness tampering. Blake beat a guy up last May, and had apparently tried to bribe people involved in the case. He’s been held in Pentonville prison since then. When Amy went to visit him, police officers searched her beehive for drugs. Does that sentence make anyone else really, really happy?

Amy Winehouse’s beehive hairpiece was checked for drugs when she went to visit her husband Blake Fielder-Civil in prison.

Police officers at Pentonville prison, where Fielder-Civil has been remanded in custody, were suspicious of the singer when she went to the jail yesterday.

According to The Sun, Winehouse was asked by a warden to run her fingers through the famous hair-do to prove that she did not have any drugs stashed in it, but nothing was found.

[From Digital Spy]

That doesn’t seem that weird to me. When I was in college, I volunteered at a state prison. The list of things you could and couldn’t wear was lengthy. Let me tell you, the last thing you want to do is work with male offenders and not be able to wear your underwire bra.

Amy’s manager has finally quit. You’d think it’s because she’s totally crazy, her husband is in jail, they’re both unrepentant drug users and alcoholics, or she never shows up to performances. And while none of those things helped, the straw that broke the camel’s back was when manager Thom Stone went to the doctor and tested positive for heroin. Amy and Blake smoked it on the bus, and Stone managed to get enough through passive smoke that it actually showed up on a drug test. I know most people would think, “Yeah, right,” but I believe this for two reasons. 1: Amy Winehouse smokes heroin in her sleep, underwater, and will somehow manage to do it from the grave and 2: Why would Thom Stone lie about that? He could give one hundred other legitimate reasons to quit if he wanted to come up with something. Amy Winehouse’s life is so crazy and soap opera-like that anything and everything seems true.

AMY WINEHOUSE’s tour manager has quit — saying doctors found HEROIN in his system after he inhaled it passively on their bus. Thom Stone said working with drug-addled Amy and her husband was harming his health. It was revealed just a day after the singer went into meltdown on stage, slurring her words and insulting fans as hundreds walked out.

Stone hit breaking point when Amy, 24, and hubby BLAKE FIELDER-CIVIL were arrested with cannabis in Norway last month. He produced a doctor’s note which revealed traces of heroin — known as “smack”. Last night Stone would not comment on the doctor’s note, but confirmed he had quit. A source said: “He was constantly bailing her out. He was watching them get off their heads on drugs and wondering whether Amy was even going to get up on stage. It was a nightmare job.”

[From the Sun]
t
While I never thought I’d say this about something in The Sun, I absolutely believe every single word of that. Though I wonder, when officers checked Amy’s beehive, what didthey find? You know there had to be some random bramble in there. I imagine they pulled out some baby birds who’s mother mistook Amy’s hair for her nest. And Amy thought all hat chirping was just a side-effect from the drugs! Though I don’t know how she made sense of the bits of worm constantly falling into her eyes. Baby birds are such pranksters.

Picture note by Jaybird: Here’s Amy at the Thames Magistrates Court in London on November 10, 2007. Image thanks to PR Photos. Header image of Amy from at her disastrous concert on Wednesday night. Hundreds of fans walked out as Amy continued to drink throughout the show. According to WENN “Fans booed before walking out of the gig – the opening night of her UK tour – enraged by Winehouse’s incoherent performance. Fans were also unimpressed when the singer stumbled on stage half an hour later than billed, before crashing into a guitar stand. However, Winehouse was unfazed by the booing from the crowd – and threatened them with the wrath of Fielder-Civil. She told the audience, “Let me tell you something. First of all, if you’re booing you’re a mug for buying a ticket. Second, to all the people booing – just wait till my husband gets out.” After performing hit Back To Black, she said, “Nothing’s going to bring my husband back.” Winehouse then dedicated track Wake Up Alone to Fielder-Civil, announcing, “This is for my husband.” Impressive. Image thanks to WENN.

Lane Garrison got just about half the maximum sentence for his drunken/drug fueled car crash that killed a teenager last December. He was sentenced to forty months, just about half of the six years and eight months he could have received. He’s been in jail for three months so far and will get credit for time served. If he behaves himself, he could be out in twenty months – not much for killing a person.

Garrison pleaded guilty in May to felony vehicular manslaughter and driving under the influence in the deadly accident that took 17-year-old Vahagn Setian’s life and injured two 15-year-old girls.

Following his plea, Garrison was ordered in August to undergo a 90-day diagnostic stay at the California Institute for Men in Chino.

He completed the psychological evaluation last month and was turned over to Los Angeles County authorities. Since then, he has been incarcerated at the Twin Towers Correctional Facility while awaiting sentencing.

The actor’s legal team had pushed for him to be released on probation, but Superior Court Judge Elden S. Fox felt a stricter penalty was in order.

[From E! News]

Maybe it’s just me – that doesn’t seem like much of a penalty. Several of the articles I’ve read today have stupid titles like “Not much of a prison break for Garrison.” Vehicular manslaughter really should have a higher maximum sentence. I can’t believe they didn’t add some charges for the alcohol/drug aspect of the crime. I’m not sure if this is celebrity justice or just crappy justice that anyone could get, but I really hope terrible things happen to this guy in his cell. Though because he’s famous, he probably will be kept in isolation, so that will make his time feel a hell of a lot longer. And that makes me a little bit happier.

Picture note by Jaybird: Here’s Lane before the crash at the Prison Break – End of Season Screening Party on April 27th, 2006. Image thanks to PR Photos.