Singer R. Kelly, who is widely considered to have preyed on young girls despite being found not guilty of child pornography due to the poor video quality of his alleged sex tape with a 14 year-old (he also married now-deceased singer Aaliyah in 1994 when she was 15 and he was 27) seems to have revealed that he’s functionally illiterate. While describing how he’d achieved success despite setbacks, he explained “I don’t even read, really.” I guess that explains the lyrics to “I Believe I Can Fly,” which he referenced while denouncing the “haters” in a rambling speech at a music conference in Chicago last week. Kelly also called himself a “survivor,” and explained that his “life is a story” that he tells through music. He attributed his success to believing in himself and sending out love instead of hate. I will refrain from making comments about the predatory “love” that he directs at underage girls. To be fair to a guy who probably doesn’t deserve it, the theme of the conference was “burying the stigma of hate [in the] Midwest music business,” so he wasn’t getting all preachy about the haters for nothing:

While giving some kind of motivational speech to the city of Chicago, [sic: it was at the "Midwest Music Networking" event] R. Kelly admitted that he can’t read, kinda sorta. “I don’t even read, really. And I’m not even afraid to say that,” he began, before launching into a diatribe about the power of love, or whatever. “I got y’all beat if ya hating on me, ’cause I love you. That’s why I keep doing what I do. Isn’t it weird? ‘You just keep on going! How do you keep going and I’m standing here?’ ‘Cause hatin’ is heavy. How you gonna believe you can fly, you too damn heavy. You sinkin’. Stop hatin’ and fly.” I’m actually going to keep hating, thanks. And you can join Nas as one of those artists who shouldn’t do anything with a microphone except sing into it. via Fakeshoredrive

[The Boombox.com via Gossip Rocks]

Kelly did make some decent points during his speech. He touched on the themes of triumphing over hardship and having faith in your ability to succeed. He also said that he would meet his haters with love and that “I got ya’ll beat if you’re hating on me. Because I love you. That’s why I keep doing what I do.” And I thought he did it for the money. Kelly, 42, grew up in the projects on the South Side of Chicago. He was the second youngest of four children raised by a single mother, and never graduated from high school. For all the very accurate derogatory things you can say about the guy, he did achieve a huge amount of success despite poor odds. So did Roman Polanski. That shouldn’t give either of them a pass, although that’s what seems to have happened in both cases.

The R. Kelly child pornography trial just gets weirder and weirder. And a good deal of it is downright disgusting. In testimony yesterday, the prosecution’s star witness (and three-way sex tape participator) Lisa Van Allen said Kelly carried around a duffel bag filled with his homemade sex tapes. She said wherever Kelly went, the bag went. Not necessarily for safekeeping, but for easy access. Van Allen had a relationship with Kelly from early 1998 to 2001.

R&B superstar R. Kelly carried a duffel bag filled with homemade sex videotapes wherever he went, a woman testified Monday. While making one such tape, Kelly cut off the filming when the woman — Lisa Van Allen — started crying during three-way sex with an underage girl, Van Allen testified.

“He got upset and said he couldn’t watch that. He couldn’t do anything with that, with me crying. He stopped the camera,” Van Allen said. The tapes Kelly liked went with him to his recording studio, to his favorite basketball gym — Hoops on the near West Side — and to video shoots, she said.

“Wherever he was at, the [duffel] bag would follow,” Van Allen said.

[From the Chicago Sun-Times]

Van Allen also described her relationship with Kelly and how many times they made sex tapes.

Van Allen’s testimony — covering her relationship with Kelly and how she ultimately became a witness against him — came under fierce attack by the defense, which contended she wanted money from Kelly. After Van Allen spent most of the day on the stand, the prosecution rested.

Van Allen said Kelly told her the girl was 16, though prosecutors contend she was as young as 13. Van Allen testified that Kelly videotaped the threesome — a tape separate from the one at the heart of the current case.

A year later, the trio had sex again — this time on Kelly’s indoor basketball court, she testified. Van Allen wept as she described how Kelly put a futon mattress on the court. It was during that three-way encounter that she cried, Van Allen said, prompting Kelly to stop the videotaping.

The three had sex again in 2000 inside Kelly’s trailer at a video shoot in Chicago, Van Allen said.

[From the Chicago Sun-Times]

Van Allen was 18 at the time she made the first sex tape with R. Kelly, which the prosecution points out makes the other girl in the video 14 at the time. Which is utterly disgusting. The defense managed to paint Van Allen as a thief and a liar – getting her to admit that she stole a Rolex from Kelly. They’ve also managed to really cloud the prosecution’s case in terms of the identity of the man on the tape, who they claim is not R. Kelly and was digitally manipulated to look like him. Unfortunately for the defense, an F.B.I. expert testified that the tape had not been digitally altered.

The prosecution rested today, and did a good job, given their resources. The defense’s whole strategy is to muddy the waters, blame the victim, and give ridiculous explanations – basically do anything and everything, no matter how extreme, to get Kelly off. It seems pretty clear to most people following the case that he’s guilty as sin – but if I were the betting type, I’d still put all my money on R. Kelly getting off.

Here are older file photos of R. Kelly. Images thanks to WENN.

I can think of few things as truly awkward as having to watch a sex tape with a room of people around me. And frankly, I really don’t want to think about the kind of thing that’s even more awkward than this. The R. Kelly sex trial is finally underway, after six legendarily long years of seemingly impossible delays. Yesterday the jury had to watch the 25 minute sex tape – in front of a packed courtroom – in which a man who is allegedly R. Kelly has sex with a woman who was allegedly 13-years-old at the time. I’m tempted to say they were forced to watch it, as I really can’t imagine anyone being okay with seeing something like this.

Prosecutors played the sex tape at the center of R. Kelly’s child pornography trial in open court Tuesday, just hours after opening statements in which they accused the R&B singer of choreographing and starring in the footage with an underage girl.

The jurors, who had been taking feverish notes during opening statements, sat motionless while the video played. Their eyes were fixed on a 4-by-4-foot monitor just outside the jurors’ box; in the courtroom, the lights were dimmed and blinds drawn across windows.

A grim-looking Kelly, 41, appeared to watch the entire footage intently on a small monitor on the defense table. He occasionally rocked in his chair and rested his chin in his hand. The 27-minute homemade video shows a man having sex with a young female, who is naked for most of the recording except for a necklace with a cross dangling from it.

At the start of the videotape, the man hands the female money and she mouths the words, “Thank you.” She is often blank-faced, impassive. The man speaks to the female in a hushed, monotone voice, and she calls him “Daddy.” Songs from the Spice Girls and Backstreet Boys blare from a radio. The female dances – the man out of view. Back in view, he has sex with her. The man walks up to the camera to adjust it a few times, but his face is often obscured.

Prosecutors say the man in the video is Kelly, and that the female is a girl who was as young as 13 when the tape was made between Jan. 1, 1998, and Nov. 1, 2000.

[From the Associated Press]

According to several published reports, courtroom observers were focused just as intently on watching the jurors watch the tape as they were on the tape itself. I cannot imagine having to see something like that, and knowing that everyone was analyzing my expression. One juror was released yesterday after explaining to the judge that she only had 30 hours of vacation time and could not afford to serve. I’d be begging my boss to cut my vacation time if I were in that position.

The defense’s argument is essentially to deny everything. They’re claiming that’s not really R. Kelly on the tape and that the girl on the tape is not the alleged victim. And just to cover their bases, they’re claiming that the alleged victim was not 13 at the time. So just in case people don’t buy that it’s not her, they’re arguing that she’s older than she is. Which is funny, because they’ve been making that argument for six years now, and somehow it’s still up for debate. No one is totally clear how old the alleged victim really is.

The defense pointed out to the jury that the man on the sex tape does not have a prominent mole on his back. Supposedly R. Kelly does, and it’s been there since childhood. So everything’s hinging on a lot of denial, confusion, and a mole. Something tells me this is case is going to keep dragging on for a long while.

Here’s R. Kelly at the New York Premiere of ‘Trapped in the Closet: Chapters 13-22′ at IFC theatre on August 8th . Images thanks to WENN.

The seemingly endless claims about R. Kelly and his sexual abuse of underage girls are again getting press before his case goes to court this Friday. It seems that a new witness is coming forward, claiming that she had sex with R. Kelly and another girl, who was underage at the time.

In case you haven’t been following it, R. Kelly was initially charged with multiple cases of child pornography in June 2002, following an anonymous donation of a sex tape to the Chicago Sun-Times featuring Kelly and underage girls. The tape was authenticated by the FBI and now the trial should begin May 9 after an incredible series of delays. The woman making the claims says she was once involved in a threesome with R. Kelly and the girl in this tape. In her testimony she will identify the girl, and claim that she was underage at the time.

The Sun-Times has been following the case closely, and here are their full reports.

Prosecutors claim that they have identified the girl in the incriminating tape, while the defense says that it’s not her. The tape mustn’t be of very high quality given all the doubt.

R. Kelly was also rumored to have married his protégé Aaliyah when she was just 15 and he was 27, after she lied about her age to get married. The marriage was said to have been annulled afterwards, with neither artist ever admitting it happened. (Aaliyah died in a plane crash in the Bahamas at the age of 22.) Kelly married dancer Andrea Lee in 1996 and they had three children together. They are said to be in the process of divorcing.

If convicted R. Kelly faces up to 15 years in jail.

R. Kelly is shown at the premiere of his crazy music soap opera “Trapped in The Closet: Chapters 13-22″ on 8/15/07, thanks to WENN.

Who the hell has R Kelly paid off, and how much did it take? There is no way any person with 1/39483rd of a brain would believe that yet another delay has happened for a good, legally justifiable reason. The man who has been waiting for trial for over five years now (imagine how many delays have contributed to that… I’m not even going to count, it makes me so mad) has been granted yet another delay because the lead prosecutor of his case had a baby. Now that fact, in and of itself, makes sense. I mean you don’t pop out a 7 pound creature and just waltz back to work. But generally, babies are something people plan and predict. They’ve had nine months to either work around the birth, or postpone the trial ahead of time, so it at least looks legitimate. But did the judge do that? No, he acted like the baby was a total surprise, and postponed the case just two weeks before it was set to finally go to trial. I will officially now state that, in my opinion, Cook County Circuit Judge Vincent Gaughan has been bribed. Gasp. Five years is bullshit, and everything about this trial is bullshit. Most of the other delays were bullshit, but a freaking baby? This was a condition he was likely aware of for a least a few months – why postpone now!?! I am livid, absolutely livid. Please be livid with me.

“In a case that has been a saga of delays and false starts, R. Kelly’s trial was postponed yet again on Tuesday, with no trial date in sight more than five years after child pornography charges were filed against the R&B singer. The lead prosecutor in the case, Assistant State’s Atty. Shauna Boliker, gave birth last week, prompting the judge presiding over the case to indefinitely postpone the trial less than two weeks before its scheduled start on Sept. 17.

“A spokesman for Cook County Circuit Judge Vincent Gaughan cited doctor’s orders in announcing the decision, a move that has added a familiar air of uncertainty to the case. This was the closest that the trial had come to starting. But it was no secret that Boliker was scheduled to deliver a baby last week, which had led to speculation at the courthouse that the Sept. 17 date was unrealistic.

“Kelly, 40, was indicted in June 2002 on child pornography charges. Officials say he videotaped himself having sex with a girl whom prosecutors say may have been as young as 13. In the more than five years since he was charged, Kelly’s career and popularity have soared. He has produced several hit CDs, gone on tour and recently released the latest installments of his highly successful video serial ‘Trapped in the Closet.’

“Gaughan has issued a gag order that bars the prosecution and the defense from talking about the case. The snail’s pace of the criminal case against Kelly may shake some people’s confidence in the ability of the courts to deal efficiently with cases involving wealthy defendants, legal experts said.”

[From Metromix]

I really am both red and blue in the face right now. If I were the type to have bulging veins and flared nostrils when upset, I’d look like a bull at the moment. How is this possible? How is this not getting more media coverage? R. Kelly tapes himself having sex with a 13 or 14 year old girl, then gets to have six albums, some movies, and tour the country before he so much as sits in a defendant’s chair? Can money really buy your verdict? I don’t think this guy is just spending a lot of money for great, manipulative lawyers. I think he’s bribed someone, or multiple someones. But part of me thinks he hasn’t, because no one would be stupid enough to think they could delay a trial this long, and for such ridiculous reasons. Either there’s a lot of money changing hands, or the level of incompetence is absolutely through the roof. Either way, everyone involved should lose their jobs. I’m that mad.

Picture note by JayBird: Here’s R. Kelly at BET’s 25th Anniversary Show. Images thanks to PR Photos.

R. Kelly, the super-gross most-likely child pornographer will be heading to court in September – and the weeks prior to that have been filled with pre-trial hearings. Today the judged ruled that they can show the video of Kelly having sex with the alleged 13/14 year old girl during the trial. Kelly’s defense team has had some real winners, in terms of excuses why Kelly is innocent. Part of the problem is that they’re throwing out too many of them. They’ve said the videos are newer than thought, making the alleged victim older. They’ve said that it isn’t Kelly, and that they images of him are computer generated. I’m pretty sure their next line will be about aliens having inhabited his body. The victim also claims it’s not her on the tape, though that’s a recent change in her story.

“A Cook County judge has upheld a ruling allowing the media and public to view a videotape allegedly showing singer R. Kelly having sex with an underaged girl.

“Prosecutors asked Judge Vincent Gaughan (GAWN) to reconsider his earlier decision. They say allowing it to be viewed in open court would re-victimize the girl.

“But Gaughan noted that the girl who prosecutors say is in the video has denied it was her.

“Prosecutors claim the video was made between January 1998 and October 2000, when the girl may have been as young as 13.
Kelly has pleaded not guilty to 14 counts of child pornography.”

[From USA Today]

Let’s not forget that this is the man who married singer Aaliyah when she was 15, back in 1995, when he was 27. Wikipedia notes: “In 1995, a rumor surfaced that 15-year-old Aaliyah and 27-year-old R. Kelly had secretly married. Both camps initially denied the rumor, but VIBE magazine published a copy of their marriage license, which showed that Aaliyah’s age had been falsely listed as 18. The marriage was annulled a few months later.” So there’s a legally documented history of Kelly preferring underage girls. Anything under 17 is considered underage in most jurisdictions, including Cook County, where Kelly’s trial is taking place. I really don’t understand why this guy still has a successful career and why this hasn’t tainted his image, but I hope he gets what’s coming to him in prison.

Picture note by JayBird: Here’s R. Kelly at his Trapped in the Closet: Chapters 13-22 Premiere. Image thanks to PR Photos.

I didn’t want to report on this story despite how easy a target R.Kelly is, because that might mean I would have to watch some of this lengthy and widely panned R&B soap opera. Up until now my exposure to “Trapped in the Closet” was limited to a brief segment on The Daily Show in which it was all too easy to dismiss the laughable creation of an eccentric pedophile who has inexplicably been able to carry on with his singing career. (I guess Michael Jackson set the precedent.)

Now that Kelly has said that the “Trapped in the Closet” hip-hopera series was dictated to him by aliens that came down from space to show him new music video techniques, I can no longer ignore his extra-terrestrial inspired genius. He is quoted at the premiere of Chapters 11-16 using a kind of metaphor but it comes off like he’s saying aliens visited him and inspired him to create the series.

“Don’t nobody ask me no questions I don’t know how to explain how I wrote it” the singer laughed “I’m tired of people asking me that because I can not explain this. I can explain any other song but I cant explain ‘Trapped In The Closet’.”

Kelly went on to explain “It’s an alien, People ask me why is it an alien and I say it’s come down to show us new genres and new ways to produce movies, magic, song and dialogue which have all been put together, and has never been done as far as I’m concerned. I call that alien. And people ask me when ‘Trapped In The Closet’ is going to end and I say when the aliens decide to leave.”

[From NME.com]

So I read the summary of the first three episodes of “Trapped in the Closet” on Wikipedia and a guy played by Kelly ends up sleeping with a married woman whose husband comes home, so he hides in the closet. The husband and wife then mess around, Kelly’s cell phone rings, and the husband discovers him in the closet. Kelly has a loaded gun, so the husband doesn’t give him a beat down. It turns out the husband is a pastor. Then the husband’s lover comes over unexpectedly and it’s a man and all four people stand there arguing. After that I lost interest in the plot, which keeps getting more convoluted.

“Trapped in the Closet” has been parodied on South Park, Saturday Night Live, MadTv, and in a song released by Weird Al Yankovic called “Trapped in the Drive Through.”

I did watch some of it on YouTube, and it seems to merit all the derision it gets. Kelly sings the same tune in different voices with lyrics explaining the plot twists and it’s hard to believe he’s taking it seriously.

Here’s a link to part one. Chapter 15 is below. All the rest are available on YouTube.

After five years of an odd series of coincidences that delayed his trial for child pornography, R.Kelly will finally face the music at his trial September 17. His excuse for those sex videos that surfaced in 2002 featuring a maybe 13 year-old girl was that it wasn’t really him in the act – just a computer-generated image of him. Maybe the aliens made him make that video too.

Accused child pornographer/Grammy winning R&B singer R. Kelly will finally head to court September 17th to stand trial FIVE years after he was first arrested and charged. In 2002 he pleaded not guilty to 14 counts of child pornography after videotapes emerged showing him in sex acts with an underage girl. There’s a lot of confusing issues flying around this case in addition to the lack of a speedy trial. There is some controversy over exactly when the tape was made. Theoretically, the girl in the video was 13 years old. However Kelly’s people have argued that the tape is more recent than the police claim, making the victim older than thought. Though they’re also claiming that it’s not actually R. Kelly on the tapes, but rather a computer generated image of him. I don’t know a lot about that kind of technology – is that a reasonable possibility? The trial has faced various complications leading to its five year mark.

“Since Kelly’s arrest, the case has been hit with delay after delay. [Judge] Gaughan seemed close to setting a trial date last year, but then he was hospitalized after falling off a ladder and suffering multiple fractures. By the time the judge recovered, Kelly needed emergency surgery for a burst appendix, which caused him to miss a status hearing in February.

“Scheduling was further complicated by demand for Kelly’s attorney, Ed Genson. Genson, a highly sought-after attorney, represented Conrad Black in a lengthy trial that ended last month with the newspaper executive being convicted of three counts of mail fraud and one count of obstruction of justice.”

[From the Chicago Sun Times]

That’s a freakishly long and incredibly coincidental list of holdups. Since then, R. Kelly has had SIX best-selling albums, three national tours, and released a DVD set of “hip-hopera” skits. Arguments over when the video was made have delayed the trial quite a bit. I cannot believe how little an effect this has had on Kelly’s career. Shouldn’t this be the kind of thing that ends it? I know that not all criminal problems hurt all celebrities. Some rappers have more “street cred” for having been charged with murder and other hardcore crimes. But being a possible child predator and filming child pornography? How does that not ruin a career? It really disgusts me that people would keep listening to and supporting this guy.

R. Kelly is shown in concert on in April, 2006 at the Chicago Theatre. Thanks to PR Photos.