Britney Spears is continuing moving forward by making some real attempts to avoid – instead of encourage – the paparazzi. The singer has put her house on the market for $7.9 million. This is the house that must hold a lot of bad memories for Britney – it’s where she’s lived during her whole breakdown; where she dated Adnan and was quite possibly drugged and kept a prisoner in her home by former “manager” Sam Lutfi. It seems like much more bad than good has gone on there, and it’s definitely time for Brit to move.

Any sort of comeback isn’t complete without a grand move, and Britney’s house is on the market now for $7.9 million. The L.A. Times reports that her gated-community residence totals 7,500 square feet, with six bedrooms, a library, an arbor, a spa, a den, and a pool. Apparently, her neighbors everywhere are rejoicing, as the LAT so aptly pointed out:

“This is the very same house that Spears was wrenched from in January by a well-executed LAPD plan to skirt the paparazzi and have the singer involuntarily committed to a psychiatric ward at UCLA Medical Center. Neighbors are unlikely to forget that winter night with helicopters buzzing overhead and more than 100 paparazzi who chase Spears for a living hovering at the gates.”

Surely some sort of crazy collector is going to surface and turn this into a museum of sorts… the house is being sold partially furnished and all.

[From the Inquisitr]

It sounds like she just wants to get the hell out of there, not that I blame her. Perhaps selling it partially furnished is an attempt to get rid of many things that hold bad memories or weird associations. Moving somewhere with more privacy would benefit her sons as well, and prove how hard she’s working to do whatever it takes to be a good mom.

There’s also a rumor floating around today that Kevin is trying to win Britney back and that he’s realized she’s the “love of his life.” While I don’t believe the later, the former might be true. Supposedly K-Fed has apologized for being a bad husband and wants to start over. Normally I’d scream holy hell about it, but they’ve both grown and changed a lot in the last few years. Who knows, maybe they’re ready for each other in a different way. But it’s probably best for Britney to continue moving forwards, not backwards.

Here’s Britney shopping on August 28th. Images thanks to Fame.

Lindsay Lohan continues prancing about in her happily delusional existence. The entire Lohan family seems to have always had a much higher opinion of themselves than everyone else does. Lindsay’s parents are forever admonishing any and everyone for even the slightest negative statement about any of their kids. Basically if you have the audacity to have an opinion that differs from theirs, you’re gonna hear about it.

This attitude seems to have fostered in Lindsay the belief that she is much, much better than she is. I’m really going to do my best here to go with the theory that Lohan’s delusions of grandeur are her parent’s fault. Lindsay has such a high opinion of herself that she plans on buying an apartment in the famous Dakota, the legendary Manhattan building where John Lennon lived (and Yoko Ono still lives to this day).

SMITTEN LINDSAY LOHAN is buying a £2.5 million love-nest for her and lesbian partner SAM RONSON.

The pair plan to live it up in a penthouse in the famous Dakota building in New York. Residents in the block—where JOHN LENNON lived—are against the move because they don’t want all the hoo-ha it’s likely to bring.

But LiLo is forging ahead with plans and is in talks with a top interior designer.

She wants a garish 12ft circular bed with leopard-print headboard, “Hers and Hers” monogrammed towels, separate pink and black bathrooms, and a sitting room with DJ area and a huge glitterball.

My source revealed: “Lindsay’s had her eye on the Dakota building for years.

“It’s an iconic building and she’s not bothered about the complaints from residents. She plans to make it a hotbed for parties.”

[From News of the World via Contact News]

Good luck Lindsay. Normally I’d dismiss this story as hogwash – which it may very well be. But Lindsay is so crazily narcissistic and full of her self that I think if anyone would believe she could buy an apartment in the Dakota, it’d be her. While I couldn’t find out if the building was a co-op, it certainly has some type of tenants’ board that could block someone like Lindsay from purchasing a place there. And more importantly, while she may have had her eye on the building for years, so have a lot of other New Yorkers. Ones much better fitting to the building. I have a better chance of walking into Yoko Ono’s apartment and telling her to give me the keys – and getting them – than Lindsay has of buying a place here.

Plus a billion tour buses go by every day. You know LiLo would hate the attention.

Lindsay Lohan and Samantha Ronson are shown shopping at Fred Segal yesterday, 9/21/08. They may look upset due to the news about Travis Barker and DJ AM’s tragic accident. Credit: WENN

Owen Wilson seems to be doing a good job of moving his life forward and in a positive direction this last year. After his suicide attempt last summer it seems like Owen really embraced a healthy, more balanced and happy lifestyle. And with the exception of a brief dating relapse with ex-girlfriend Kate Hudson, Wilson seems to have kept his life remarkably together.

Now he’s moving closer to best bud Woody Harrelson, who lives in a very peaceful sounding eco-friendly development in Hawaii.

Owen Wilson is saying “aloha” to island living. When the 39-year-old actor spent a week visiting good pal Woody Harrelson in Maui starting on August 7, he fell in love with the tropical paradise — and the environmentally friendly lifestyle. Woody lives in a completely solar-powered, sustainable community featuring organic farming. “It’s 100 percent green living,” says an insider. “Owen likes it so much that he made an offer on a home there.” Owen’s 2004 film, The Big Bounce, was set in Hawaii.

[From In Touch]

It sounds really peaceful. Owen has lived on several beach front properties and seems to have a powerful and healing bond with the water. And living close to one of your best friends can only be a good thing. Hawaii is also a pretty laid back, live and let live kind of place. It seems like Owen will fit in really well there.

Here’s Owen in Malibu on August 4th. Images thanks to Fame.

Hayden Panettiere is a mere 18 years old, but already she’s done something most of us can only dream of: purchase multi-million dollar luxury real estate. As though I didn’t hate her enough, with her hot boyfriend and dolphin saving.

Heroes star Hayden Panettiere is still in her teens, but she can already afford million-dollar digs! The 18-year-old just purchased a $2.6 million contemporary home in LA with three bedrooms, three bathrooms and a pool. But she won’t be living in the 3,120-square-foot mansion alone.

“My best friend is moving in with me for a year,” she said during a July 15 radio interview with On Air With Ryan Seacrest. And her family is nearby, too. “My parents are down the street,” Hayden told E! online. The Heroes star is releasing her first album later this year. The songs are “eclectic,” she says. “I spent the summer buying furniture,” she says.

[From In Touch]

Okay so Hayden bought a house and spent the last three months buying furniture. That’s pretty much my dream summer. Yes I know I have depth.

Hayden says she does plan on doing a bit of partying, telling Showbiz Spy, “”So it’s not like I’m living in this house, partying by myself.’ When asked if she is planning to host frequent parties in the property, Hayden replied: “Oh, yeah. I have this big living room and I have this 14ft by 14ft couch. I fill pretty much the whole room with it and it’s kind of the hangout spot. It’s comfy and people can make a mess in the room.’”

It’s probably unhealthy to be this jealous of an eighteen year old.

Here’s Hayden at the Teen Choice Awards on Sunday. Images thanks to Fame.

There are some amazing mysteries in our universe. Crop circles. Ghosts. Atlantis. Aliens. How the hell Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt can afford a $12 million home. And they are all equally unexplainable. Heidi and Spencer – easily the most loathed couple in the U.S. – have been house hunting. And apparently it’s not just for publicity and cheesy photo ops – their realtor confirms that they’re serious buyers and can afford a home they’ve been eyeing in the $12 million range.

We live in a world where Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt can afford to buy a $12 million beach home in Malibu.

We didn’t believe it when we saw the video of the couple we love to hate as they went house shopping yesterday in the Bu. They looked at two homes: the aforementioned $12 mil beach house (also for rent for $90k a month) and a 10,000 sq. ft. estate with an asking price of more than $15 mil.

So we thought it was a big publicity stunt, until we called the realtor who showed the property. Sandro Dazzan says they’re “serious buyers,” although he doesn’t think they’ll pull the trigger right away. Dazzan stunned us when he said they can afford the $12 million beach house right now, but that they’re “at least six months” out from being able to afford the bigger house.

[From TMZ]

This information makes me physically ill. Indescribably so. We are undergoing a serious housing crisis, where all sorts of hardworking people are losing their homes. Even some relatively wealthy people are experiencing foreclosures. And yet Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt can afford to drop $12 million. It just makes me utterly nauseous.

It does make sense that they’ve got a lot of cash stored up. Spencer Pratt is constantly demanding that people give him luxury goods and services for free. To be fair, he’s normally turned down (and generally laughed at along the way). But I assume that if he demands a hundred people give him something for free, 2 or 3 probably will, and that can add up. And he’s egotistical enough to go for it. Great example: Heidi and Spencer’s proposed trip to Iraq, courtesy of Senator John McCain.

The McCain camp isn’t confirming or denying that they’re helping “Hills” hellions Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt arrange a trip to Iraq, but there’s a new twist in the plan that has yet to be addressed.

Sources close to the couple say that Pratt is insisting, per usual, that they receive comped first-class plane tickets overseas.

“Spencer doesn’t fly coach. Not even for short flights,” says the source. “He isn’t going to go overseas in coach, and definitely not on his own dime.”

[From MSNBC’s The Scoop]

Heaven forbid someone as pristine as Spencer Pratt ever fly coach. There are few qualities as loathsome as a wealthy person who’s cheap. But I guess that’s where Heidi and Spencer are at. To be fair, it must have paid off, because I doubt anyone thought they’d be able to afford a $12 million home, yet here they are.

Here are Heidi Montag and Spenser Pratt walking along Melrose Place looking at boutiques on July 16th. Images thanks to WENN.

Everyone’s got a tale or two about a bad neighbor. The longer you live somewhere, the greater the odds you’re going to have some sort of feud going on. But imagine your next door neighbor is a notorious drug addict. With mental health issues. They’re probably going to make your life a living hell. Or imagine you’ve got a celebrity living down the street. All the press and drama… it’d be a nightmare.

Unfortunately for a bunch of people living in North London, they’ve got both, in the form of Amy Winehouse. Her neighbors are said to be tired of the constant drama she courts, and are doing their best to get her evicted from her rented home.

Local residents have made a sting of complaints to their local council to get Amy evicted from her rented £700,000 North London flat. One neighbour told Britain’s Daily Mirror newspaper: “She’s nothing but trouble and every night she is partying. If she’s not inviting friends around to live it up she’s starting fights. I’ve already filmed some of the trouble Amy has caused on my video camera and I’ll be handing it over to the council to have a look at. Hopefully something can be done.” If the council deems Amy to be causing too much of a disturbance, her landlord could be forced to throw her out.

[From Welt.de]

My first thought was, “Why in the world is Amy Winehouse still renting?” But I guess she has bigger issues to deal with than poor real estate decisions. Or maybe she’s snorted her earnings away, who knows.

The Daily Mail has an article and photos of Amy being caught with a “mystery substance” up her nose again. The only mystery here is why she’s not in jail for it. Sure it’s allergy season – but I’ve got to say, that doesn’t look like a puddle of Flonase that’s accumulated. Make sure to scroll down and view the Daily Mail’s picture of tiny Amy hiding behind this giant flattened box of Budweiser. All you can see is a bit of beehive and some skinny legs. And if she’s not careful, Amy’s going to end up living inside that box. But at least she knows she’d fit.

Here’s Amy leaving her gig at the Monarch pub last night, with a lampshade and a cardboard box to cover her face. Header image of the classic “mystery substance.” Images thanks to WENN.

I should feel like a really bad person for cheering whenever the divorce proceedings between Linda and Hulk Hogan worsen. But then I think about the way karma is biting them so deliciously in the ass, and this big, perverse grin spreads across my face.

Linda is trying to get Hulk thrown into jail for reneging on a contract to purchase a $4.3 million condo in Las Vegas. The two had been ordered by a judge to complete the sale, even though they’re in the middle of divorce proceedings. But when the day came to sign the final pictures, Linda claims Hulk was nowhere to be found, and suddenly his attorneys and friends had no clue where he was. What it really comes down to is Linda needs a place to party with her cougerlicious boys.

Hulk Hogan left his signature bandanna at home today, because it could clash with the orange jumpsuit a judge may force him to wear.

Hulk and soon-to-be-ex wife Linda were in court in Clearwater, Fla., as Mrs. H. asked hizzoner to hold her estranged hubby in contempt for failing to close on a $4.2 million Vegas condo.

As we first reported, Hulk wants to bail out on the deal — even if it means he loses his $840,000 deposit. Linda says they had an agreement to close on the condo and Hulk had no right to withhold the cash.

[From TMZ]

Hulks lawyers went off to E! News about how selfish and crazy Linda is for still wanting to purchase the condo. They also pointed out that in light of the lawsuit by John Graziano’s family, it is both financially imprudent and morally tacky to throw $4.3 million into luxury real estate. Which is totally true. But I’m behind anything that somehow results in either Hogan elder spending time in the slammer.

Header of Linda Hogan at the Palms Place Hotel and Spa Grand Opening in Vegas on May 31st. Photographer: Judy Eddy. Hulk Hogan outside MTV TRL Studios in Times Square on January 7th. Photographer: Patricia Schlein. Images thanks to WENN.

Update: This story is false, according to reps for the couple.

After owning their New Orleans home for a little over two years, Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt have sold it, according to Ted Casablanca from E!. Who says it’s a bad time for real estate? The news is a little surprising, considering the homes Brad’s been helping build in the Lower 9th Ward with the Make It Right project - and his often mentioned love of the city. Last year he noted:

“I can’t describe why were allowed to live a more normal life (in New Orleans).”

The thing he misses the most, he said, is bicycling through the streets of New Orleans at night.

“Living in the French Quarter is a thrill for us,” he said. “We have some semblance of real family life. People have been very, very gracious with us. If we’re on the front deck, people go by and say, ‘Hi.’ Then they go on their way, very friendly.”

Pitt visited New Orleans in the early 1990s during the filming of “Interview with a Vampire” and took up semi-permanent residence early this year while filming “The Curious Case of Benjamin Button.” He said that he has been impressed with the city’s never-say-die post-Katrina spirit, especially in the hardest hit areas.

“For me, first as a tourist, it’s the most unique city that we have in the States,” he said. “It has an energy like no other place. You guys shouldn’t change a thing. I’ve got to get me some of it. I absolutely love it there. We moved our family there. We’ve got a place there and we’re intermittently going back and forth. We’re in Prague now because of work. We’ll be back there soon.”

[From The Times-Picayune]

I guess not so much. Considering how much the entire Jolie-Pitt clan supposedly loved New Orleans – and Brad’s comment that it’s “the most unique city that we have in the States,” the sale of their home seems to be further evidence that the family will probably continue to live overseas for the near future.

The couple has been just as plagued by paparazzi in their French town of Correns, where they’re leasing a home. However it appears the locals have generally taken to the couple. According to Reuters, you get a free glass of pastis if you can get a ridiculous Brangelina story published. I guess they’re trying to keep the paparazzi on their toes. Or annoy the crap out of them.

Here are Brad Pitt and Bill Clinton breaking ground on the Make it Right project in New Orleans in March. Images thanks to Splash.

Update: This story is false, according to reps for the couple.

The Spears family seems to be moving forward in a mostly positive, healthy, normal manner – at least for them. According to several reports, Britney is leaving for her hometown of Kentwood, Louisiana later this week, to be with pregnant little sis Jamie Lynn. She may stay up to a month.

Hopefully Britney won’t be passing on any parenting techniques. Well, maybe a few she learned by trial and error: don’t drop the baby (especially when photographers are around); always use a car seat; don’t drive with a kid on your lap… you know, the kind of lessons most parents really have to just learn for themselves.

While Britney’s spending some quality time at home, her dad Jamie is selling her house. He got permission from the court yesterday – though presumably Britney’s okay with it too.

Earlier today, a Los Angeles court commissioner OK’d a request from Spears’ conservatorship asking for permission to put the property on the market. The court approval comes days after Spears was spotted looking at a $5.6 million, 7,300-square-foot house (above) in the L.A. suburb of Encino, closer to the home base of ex-husband Kevin Federline and the ex-couple’s sons, Sean Preston and Jayden James.

Spears has not exactly endeared herself to fellow denizens of the community, who have complained about the constant presence of paparazzi outside the gates. Some reports have blamed Spears as the reason neighbor Ed McMahon has not received a single offer on his $6.5 million house that’s facing foreclosure.

[From E! News]

It sounds like it’d be a good idea for Britney to get a fresh start. She’s made a lot of big improvements to her life; certainly moving closer to her sons would be another one. And if it helps Ed McMahon, who wouldn’t want to do it?

Britney’s conservatorship is slated to be extended or go to trial in early August. If all parties agree to extend it, nothing will happen, but if Britney doesn’t agree to her dad retaining legal control of her life, she has the right to a jury trial. Can you imagine the drama? Britney wasn’t in court yesterday – her lawyers said she was out of town, but didn’t specify where – but she and her lawyer will be going over her options in the next week.

The evil, gossipy part of me hopes she doesn’t agree to extend her conservatorship, just for the drama of a trial. The slightly more benevolent part of me hopes Britney agrees to keep everything moving forward. Little sister Jamie Lynn is expected to deliver her baby sometime near the end of the month. Hopefully all that family time will be good for everyone.

Lock up your cows: Heather Mills and her bovine mouth really are moving to the U.S. The former Mrs. Paul McCartney has purchased a $5 million condo in the West Village on Perry Street. What a disgusting, disgusting thought. I’m not 100 percent positive, but I’m pretty sure it’s illegal to stable a cow in an apartment building in Manhattan.

I’m not calling Mills fat, but that jaw of hers unhinges in this dramatic fashion – and at a very unseemly angle - when she’s angry (which, let’s be honest, is about 90% of the time she talks), and it makes her look just like a cow chewing its cud. Ironic for a vegan, no?

Heather Mills has splashed out over £2.5 million on a New York apartment.

The former model - who won £24.3 million in her divorce settlement from Beatles legend Sir Paul McCartney - will be living in the same exclusive area as fashion designer Calvin Klein and actress Nicole Kidman.

A real estate expert said: “It’s a very special property. She will have important neighbours.” The apartment is in the prestigious 173 Perry Street block, designed by architect Richard Meier.

It is located in the city’s West Village area and lies just half a mile from a store owned by Heather’s ex-stepdaughter, fashion designer Stella McCartney. British-born Heather will live in the apartment with her four-year-old daughter Beatrice, from her marriage to Paul.

[From Female First]

Supposedly Heather is moving to New York because she is tired of the way the London press treats her. Always the victim, no? Heather’s completely unaware that the press hates her because of her horrible attitude – and if she doesn’t change that, New York won’t be any kinder to her.

Now that I know Heather’s address, I plan on parking myself outside her building wearing a sandwich board that says “Eat Heather Mills, Not Cows,” on it. She really can’t argue with it; my message is still vegan-friendly.

Here’s Heather Mills at the ‘Thank the Monkey’ Book Party at the SoHo Grand in New York on April 26th. I really wish there were more information on the last photo; I can’t even imagine what’s going on there. It seems Heather’s trying to ingratiate herself to New York City. Good luck. Images thanks to WENN.