As you probably know by now, all of the writers here at Celebitchy read the weekly tabloids religiously. I enjoy the tabs for many reasons – first, I just enjoy the idle gossip, the silliness of it all. Secondly, I enjoy trying to figure out why a story is framed a certain way, if the tabloid actually has a source deep in a celebrity’s camp, if there really was an eyewitness to a certain event, that kind of thing. Over time, I’ve learned to just flat-out ignore certain stories – like, I rarely read anything about reality programming, because I feel like the tabloids are just recycling plots off of the actual shows. But CB called my attention to a story in this week’s Enquirer, all about “Real Housewives of Beverly Hills SHOCKERS!!” Unfortunately, it’s not about the sexual act “The Shocker”.

The basic gist is that some of the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills might be leaving, and Lisa Vanderpump is definitely NOT getting her own spinoff show – she taped a pilot and she was looking forward to getting away from the other bitches, but alas, Bravo didn’t pick up the show. There’s also a little thing about a woman named Linda Thompson, who is 61 years old and the ex-girlfriend of ELVIS, might join the show.

But buried deep within the story is this gem:

While Lisa may be out, two other women may be moving in. Sources say producers have asked Elvis’s former girlfriend Linda Thompson to join the cast, as well as 29-year-old LeAnn Rimes. Rimes made headlines in 2009 when she had an affair with new housewife Brandi’s then-husband Eddie Cibrian and has since married him.

One insider says the Brandi/LeAnn match-up would be “an instant recipe for fireworks” – and that means big ratings!

[From The Enquirer, print edition]

CB asked me if I thought LeAnn would actually consider it. I do think there’s a decent possibility – I mean, think of all of the attention LeAnn would get! And she would get to one-up Brandi ON TV! Considering LeAnn wants to BE Brandi Glanville to the point of a creepy Single White Female-like stalking-obsession, I think this is a valid possibility. However, there are totally reasons why LeAnn wouldn’t do it too. Like, she’s crazy, but is she THIS crazy? Doesn’t she want to convince people she’s still a country superstar?

Photos courtesy of WENN.

This photo is from another disgusting challenge on Fear Factor, described below

I need to talk about this story finally after reading about it for a couple days. This is a follow-up and it’s just a gross as the original stories. Apparently on an recent taped episode of Fear Factor, contestants were made to drink donkey semen. This really happened, but the episode hasn’t aired and it never will thank God. Two of the contestants who participated in the show called in to a local radio station to discuss their reaction. One woman said that she understandably vomited (who wouldn’t?) and she described how it tasted. There aren’t enough exclamation points that I can put after “EWW”!!!! As a result, Fear Factor execs gave them a call and reminded them about their confidentiality agreements.

As if forcing contestants to drink donkey semen wasn’t bad enough, “Fear Factor” executives are apparently waging a campaign of fear against contestants.

In the wake of NBC’s decision to yank Monday night’s episode featuring the (poor) taste test, twin contestants Claire and Brynne Odioso gave an interview Tuesday morning with their hometown Tampa Bay radio’s “Cowhead Show” describing in detail what their mugs of donkey semen — complete with urine chasers — tasted like. (Bitter with “with hints of hay”, for those who are really curious.)

A few hours later, however, the twins were reminded in a phone call from a show representative that they had signed confidentiality agreements. The staffer warned them to stop talking to the media or else face legal reprisal, TMZ reported.

“We are disappointed because we wanted to share the experience with our friends and family,” Brynne Odioso told Patch.com

“We feel no animals were harmed during the stunt, and it is known that animal semen is consumed in parts of the world like Australia and New Zealand.”

The episode, entitled, “Hee Haw! Hee Haw!,” was replaced with a rerun on orders from NBC’s parent, Comcast, after news of the donkey semen stunt leaked on the Internet, to much disgust.

“Fear Factor” host Joe Rogan had hinted at what lay ahead in a December interview with The Daily News.

“I say, in the real world, in a healthy society, you’re not supposed to eat animal d—, but guess what, here you have to eat animal d— if you want to win $50,000,” Rogan said.

[From The NY Daily News]

I had to google to see if it’s true that they actually drink semen in Australia and New Zealand. It’s not some long-standing cultural practice that I could find. All I found was this article from last year about how they served horse semen at a food festival as a “fad energy drink.” It sounded like a “dare” drink and a publicity stunt for the company that made it.

I’ve seen clips from Fear Factor, and they were either bungee jumping from high places or eating whole live bugs like spiders and scorpions. I guess they remove the stingers and ensure they’re “safe.”For $50,000 you could not get me to even smell this donkey stuff. Ok, maybe I would smell it, that’s good money. But I’m such a chicken sh*t I would never go on this show.

Modern humans have only been around for about 200,000 years. In comparison dinosaurs ruled the earth for 135 million years. We’re going to be a blip in history some day. When some future civilization looks at the legacy we’ve left, it’s not all going to be classical music and great literature. There’s so much more of this tasteless, disgusting throwaway reality crap that passes for entertainment. I guess I shouldn’t care about Fear Factor. Most of the programming on VH1 and MTV is much more disgusting and embarrassing to me as a member of the human race.

Here’s another “drink” that they had to consume on Fear Factor. This actually aired. It was “‘crappaccinos” made of pureed stinkbugs, flies and hornworms and topped with live, unblended bugs.” How is donkey sperm more disgusting than this?

This one is possibly the worst. “One partner dives into a tank of cow’s blood to retrieve cow hearts that their partner must then fling into a box with their mouth.” Who watches this?!

The header photo is described as “a meal of live roaches or live grasshoppers, with a side of rat-hair tortilla chips and live maggot and blood salsa.”

I don’t know how much interest there will be in this story, but I’m willing to take a chance as I’ve been watching so much “Storage Wars” on A&E lately. It’s not that I particularly love the show, I enjoy it but it seems repetitive and I often question whether they plant items. My kid just loves “Storage Wars” though and apart from some minor adult humor and swearing that’s beeped out it’s usually appropriate for him and interesting. (I tried to watch “American Pickers” with him but it bugged me how much those antique hunter guys seem to take advantage of old people.)

The National Enquirer scored an exclusive interview with Dave Hester, the “Yuuuup” shouting high-roller storage unit buyer, The “Mogul,” who always seems to be feuding with someone. Sometimes I root for Dave, but he’s too cutthroat lately and seems to be bidding people up and generally being a pain. He probably is playing it up for the cameras. Well The Enquirer revealed just how much all the castmembers are being paid an episode and it doesn’t sound bad at $10k per. The show is wildly popular, though, and A&E must be raking it in. Dave wants a raise in order to come back for the third season. He said that he’s holding out for more money and will basically see if A&E thinks he’s worth it.

“Storage Wars” star Dave Hester says he’s ready to pack it in if he doesn’t get a big raise.

Right now, the fast-talking storage unit treasure hunter on the hit A&E show says his negotiations with the network are “at a standstill and he doesn’t know if or when they’ll start up again. The production is due to start filming the third season in a few weeks.

Although he won’t say what he makes and what he wants, sources said that Hester and his cast mates earn about $10,000 per episode, and he told The Enquirer: “I want as much as I can get out of them so that I can support my family and my employees. It matters what my market value is, what I bring to the show.

“A&E owns the circus and we’re the elephants out here working for peanuts! A&E is making a mountain of money on our backs now and they need to share more of it with the talent!…”

In its first season in 2010, “Storage Wars” was A&E’s top-rated nonfiction show of the year, drawing an average of 2.8 million viewers per week.

Since then, its popularity has increased tremendously. The two-part premiere of season 2 drew a whopping 5.1 million total viewers, making it the most-watched show in A&E history…

Dave, who’s been in business for 25 years, is holding out, and with no modesty, said: “If A&E doesn’t appreciate my skill level and talent – and what I brought to the show – I would hope they say, ‘Thanks, Dave, and here’s an unconditional release.’”

[From The National Enquirer, print edition, January 30, 2012]

Dave can be such an arrogant prick, but I have to admit I like watching him. This is what always gets me about reality shows – they talk a lot about money problems but they never admit to the great cash they’re making for doing the show, and they often act like they’re broke when they’re not. This bothered me on “Teen Mom,” it bothered me on “Sister Wives,” and it bothers me on “Storage Wars.” I think that Dave was probably the most successful buyer going into it, but if Brandi and Jarrod have made over half a million from the show so far it seems disingenuous that they’re acting like they’re broke. 50 episodes have aired so far for season one and two combined, so that’s half a million for each of the principal cast. I guess I don’t blame Dave for wanting more money since he probably considers himself the “star.” It seems like a hell of a lot of money for acting like yourself, but that’s the reality show world we live in now.

This is the real star of “Storage Wars,” Brandi. I can see Brandi and Jarrod getting a spin off focusing on their home life, and then predictably splitting up. All they ever seem to do is argue.

Update: here are some pap photos of Barry Weiss out in Beverly Hills on January 2 with a friend. He smokes! Credit: Josephine Santos, PacificCoastNews.com

On “Kourtney and Kim take New York” they claim the segment below, in which Kim complains about Kris Humphries, was filmed in Dubai in mid October before Kim filed for divorce. The photos above, from the photo agency Pacific Coast News, show Kim and Kris exiting a television studio carrying and wearing those exact same outfits on December 6.

I feel like this story may have gotten lost and eclipsed by Golden Globe coverage and I wanted to give it some play. Kim Kardashian and her mother, Kris, were very clearly busted filming a segment for “Kourtney and Kim Take New York” in which they claimed to be in Dubai but were stateside in LA. It’s common knowledge that these people fake scenes and entire plotlines for their show, so that may sound like it’s not a big deal. The faked scene was filmed in December, though, as evidenced by the photos above showing Kim and Kris leaving a TV studio wearing and carrying the outfits they were filmed in. They claim that the scene took place in a car Dubai in October, before Kim filed for divorce from Kris Humphries after a whopping 72 days.

In the segment, Kim goes on to her mom about how she has a bad feeling about her marriage and how it’s not working out. She says she doesn’t want to return home from “Dubai,” to her new man and that “there’s something in my relationship that I feel like it’s right.” Then they very obviously use a voice over in which Kim’s nasty nasally voice is softened. She insinuates that there’s something going on behind the scenes that she’s not telling us about Kris H. She says in the voice over “I’m just like learning a lot of things about him that I didn’t really know before and I don’t know married life isn’t just what I thought it would be with him.” Kris counsels her that it’s not normal not to want to go home to your husband. Kim was in Dubai in mid October. She filed for divorce from Kris H. on October 31st. By December the Kardashians were really feeling the PR fallout from Kim’s divorce, so they filmed this crap to make it seem like Kim thought about it for more than two seconds before she filed. Here’s more, from Reality Tea:

The photos you’re seeing above of Kim and pimpmomager Kris Jenner were taken on December 6, 2011. The photo agency which snapped the pics stated Kim and Kris were leaving a studio in Los Angeles.

Does Kim outfit look familiar? It should because Kim is sporting the same exact outfit, same hairstyle and same makeup as she did in a scene that aired on KKTNY last Sunday which according to E! was filmed in Dubai… in October… weeks before Kim pulled the plug on her marriage.

In the scene, Kim tries to garner sympathy [and] appear remorseful as she tells her mom she is having marital issues with hubby Kris. There’s only one problem folks: Kim filed for divorce on October 31 and it appears that “Dubai” scene was actually taped in Los Angeles on Dec. 6. Still having doubts? Well, feel free to check out the outfit Kris’ assistant is carrying behind her. Ding ding ding! It’s the SAME “Dubai” outfit plus Kris is still wearing the same earrings.

Wowzers. So this proves the Kardashians’ shows are as phony as the Kardashians. Furthermore, Kim and Kris actually filmed this scene last month to not only try to fool their audience, but to also try to make Kim a victim. Unfortunately for Kris Humphries, he didn’t get a chance to go back and film phony scenes to help his image.

[From Reality Tea, original story credit: Kardashapointed]

Meanwhile Radar is reporting that Kim dictated to Kris Humphries exactly how to propose to her so that it could be captured for his show. She had it down to the lighting in the room for filming purposes. Kris made some suggestions “because he wanted it to be very intimate and romantic, but all of his ideas were shot down by production officials and Kim.” I’m not team anyone because I think Kris is an idiot too, he would have to be to get with Kim and marry her. On some level he’s probably hugely relieved to no longer have to deal with her family and that reality show.

There are actual fans of the Kardashians who believe the timelines and scenarios they present on their shows. I’m sure the fans are few and far between as of late, but there are real people who are going to be disappointed with this news. The rest of us will just gloat and wait.

Here’s Kim wearing some super high waisted jeans and looking very orange on 1-12-12. She’s outside Barney’s here. Credit: Revolutionpix/FameFlynet Pictures

Back when Bristol Palin debuted her new face earlier this year we heard that she was working on some kind of reality show with her fellow Dancing With The Stars competitor, Kyle Massey, and his brother. The plot was supposed to be Bristol moving to L.A. with the Massey brothers. The Bio channel even made an announcement that they were on board with the show and that it would air in the fall of 2011. Only nothing happened whatsoever with that show, and it never got off the ground. Well Bristol hasn’t given up her dream of becoming a reality star. She’s gunning for a Kardashian-type show centered around her life with her family and boyfriend. Bristol’s mom, the abrasive Sarah Palin, isn’t happy with putting her younger 17 year-old daughter, Willow, on television, but she can’t really object since she’s already shown her family on their own docu-reality show for TLC, Sarah Palin’s Alaska. Meanwhile Sarah’s husband Todd wants his own reality show about snowmobile racing. And of course Sarah is still gunning for more episodes of Sarah Palin’s Alaska, the first season of which concluded in January.

The Palin family is embroiled in a war over reality shows, with husband Todd and daughter Bristol blasting “Mama Grizzly” Sarah for promoting her program while failing to fully support their bids, sources tell The Enquirer.

“Sarah is getting flak from both Todd and from Bristol,” said an insider.

Todd’s proposed show about his snowmobile racing was shot down by both Discovery Communications and the A&E Network. And Bristol is struggling to reinvent her scrapped Bio channel reality show, this time under a Kardashian-style format featuring her boyfriend Gino Paoletti and her 17 year-old sister Willow.

“To Sarah’s credit, she helped pitch Todd’s show,” noted the insider. “But he’s still furious. He thinks she didn’t work hard enough because it wasn’t centered around her.

“And Bristol’s upset because Sarah wants to stay out of negotiations for her show. Sarah isn’t thrilled with Willow being involved. But Bristol believes the show will be more marketable with Willow – that they can be the next Kardashian sisters.”

Meanwhile, after Sarah announced in October that she wasn’t going to run for president, on Dec. 19 she hinted that she might. But sources charge it’s just a plot to raise her exposure as she seeks to bring back her own TLC reality show “Sarah Palin’s Alaska.”

[From The National Enquirer, print edition, January 9, 2011]

I love how all of Sarah Palin’s family now feels entitled to their own reality shows. There are enough other fascinating reality shows about non-famous people with weird jobs. I truly enjoy Storage Wars on A&E, for instance, and that show is incredibly popular. A quick glance at A&E’s website shows they have a show called Parking Wars, which is about meter maids. I’m not sh*tting you. They also have Shipping Wars, about people who ship stuff, and American Hoggers, about people who catch wild hogs. On Discovery there’s American Chopper, American Guns, Moonshiners and Deadliest Catch. So some Palins are not going to compete, even with snowmobiles, fake hunting and lots of plastic surgery. The days of the Kardashians and the family reality show are hopefully grinding to a halt.

Bristol Palin is shown on 8-18-11 filming scenes for the reality show that never was. Credit: Pacific Coast News

Visit msnbc.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy

There was a cheapskate special on Oprah years ago where a man reused paper towels. He would actually hang them up to dry in his kitchen, which begs the question: Why didn’t he just use cloth towels? On another show I saw eons ago, I think it was on Donahue, a woman with a large family gave advice on how to use up the dregs of the jam jar by putting some milk in the near-empty jar, swirling it around, and then pouring the mixture into an ice cube tray to make freezie pops. The audience actually groaned at that one.

I wash and reuse plastic bags sometimes, but usually when I’m in Germany and they’re harder to find. It’s more of a recycling issue for me. (I also bring my own bags to the store.) To save I’ll clip coupons to shop and I use coupons when I go out to eat, but I don’t go crazy with it. (If you ever go to Ruby Tuesday’s in the US you should sign up for their e-mail newsletter as you can save nearly half on your meals there.)

All of that is preface for this story about a dude with a 70s pr0n stache on the new TLC special “Extreme Cheapskates.” In a preview clip, the guy cooks up two goat heads that he bargained with the butcher to buy for around $7. It looks really disgusting, but the environmentalist in me tries to reason that it’s good that he’s using the entire animal. Here’s more:

When times get tough, it’s not unusual for people to start cutting back a bit.

But for one penny-pinching man featured on TLC’s upcoming special “Extreme Cheapskates,” reducing his spending a bit isn’t good enough. No, Jeff Yeager does much more than that. He goes on an all-out weekly fiscal fast several times a year and doesn’t spend a cent of his own hard-earned money.

Instead, during his fasts, Jeff spends only the loose change that he finds around town. And when he does use that money, it’s to buy the cheapest things he needs — including food. This leads to some … umm … uncommon dishes at the dinner table.

“I create my menus around what is least expensive,” Jeff explained in an exclusive clip TLC shared with us. “Not only does that save you a lot of money, but you tend to eat healthier. Like organ meats!”
Mmmm! OK, maybe not. Even Jeff’s wife, Denise, admits that she’s not always a fan of his meals. “Some of the food he eats, I just can’t get myself to … to fathom eating,” she said in the clip.

Like the goat heads Jeff bargained with his local butcher for.

[From Today Show's The Clicker]

If this dude wants to save money he should eat vegetarian. In college we used to eat ramen or pasta for just about every meal. A nice batch of potatoes or some rice and beans (add salsa for taste) are both cheaper and much more palatable than trying to scoop meat out of a head that’s staring at you. Then again, if this guy was just cooking up some farfalle it wouldn’t be newsworthy. This is a stunt for a reality show, and it worked. Also, it seems callous to showcase people who are just cheap when so many people are truly struggling, but that’s TLC for you. Maybe these people are struggling and TLC is just choosing to go with the “cheapskate” angle.

Oh I have to give a shout out to this 96 year-old lady on YouTube that shares simple inexpensive recipes she learned from her mother during the Great Depression. Her Youtube channel is called Great Depression Cooking and she has a book called Clara’s kitchen. Here’s a recipe for pasta with peas. At about 4:00 she tells an awesome story about people renting their garages to bootleggers in the 20s during prohibition.

As you may be aware Linda Hogan, 52, has been dating a kid from her son’s peer group, who actually resembles her son and went to school with him. Linda and her boy toy, Charlie Hill, have been together for at least three and half years, and we heard last year that they were engaged. (This of course thrilled Linda’s ex, Hulk Hogan, as it meant that his alimony payments might eventually cease.) Linda and Charlie haven’t made it official yet, perhaps due to those sweet alimony payments, and are of course having relationship problems. Unlike similar January-December famewhores Courtney Stodden and Doug Hutchison, Linda and Charlie know their place and have accepted roles on a VH1 ensemble reality show. They’ve filmed a bunch of episodes for a show called “Couples Therapy,” (not with Dr. Drew) which will air in March. The best part of this story is the anecdote about how Linda’s boyfriend went out clubbing with her despicable 21 year-old son, Nick. Charlie ended up going home with another old broad and Nick ran home crying to his mommy about it.

Linda, 52 – the ex-wife of wrestler Hulk Hogan – and unlikely lover Charlie Hill, 23, will hash out their issues with psychotherapist Dr. Jenn Berman on the VH1 reality series “Couples Therapy,” which is scheduled to debut in mid-March.

“Linda and Charlie’s relationship is littered with dysfunction and they’ve split up and gotten back together numerous times,” a family friend told The Enquirer.

“Not long ago, Linda got so fed up with Charlie that she actually paid him to get out of her life. But she had a change of heart as soon as she learned Charlie hooked up with someone else.”

As the Enquirer reported in November, Linda grew weary of her freeloading young fiance and sent him packing from her hilltop house outside of Los Angeles.

But Charlie got cozy with another cougar at an L.A. club soon after getting the boot, and the Hogans’ 21-year-old son, Nick, who was also at the club that night, went back to Linda and “blabbed about everything,” said the friend.

“As soon as Linda heard that her shoes had been filled so quickly – and with another older woman – she went ballistic!”

But the anger quickly turned to jealousy and she pushed him to get back together.

When the VH1 producers of “Couples Therapy” got wind of Linda and Charlies ongoing relationship struggles, they convinced them to do the show.

“Linda and Charlie are more than halfway through taping the series,” the friend added. “While they appear to be working things out, it’s unclear whether their romance will last.”

[From The National Enquirer, print edition, January 2, 2012]

Trash to the E. So maybe Nick and Charlie weren’t partying together and Nick just happened to be at the same club. Either way, it’s gross. TMZ confirmed last week that Linda and Nick would be on this show, which they claim is titled “Relationship Rehab.” I might actually watch a couple episodes of this, if only to gawk at how absurd these people are. At least Charlie was technically legal when they first hooked up.

Look at how matchy matchy these two are. I guess when you buy all your boyfriend’s outfits it’s easy to make sure you coordinate. A lot of moms do that with their kids.

These photos are from 10/9/10 (black outfits) and 9/12/09 (short skirt) credit: Josephine Santos/Pacific Coast News. Matchy fur and fringe photos from 1/17/09. Credit: Fame

I’ve actually watched the first episode of this second season of “Next Great Baker” as it was free on iTunes. Just last night I bought the second episode because it was pretty interesting and I wanted to see what happened to everyone. The show is a baking competition judged by “Cake Boss” head Buddy Valastro, who leads a panel of 13 bakers on different timed challenges. It’s similar to other ongoing competition reality shows in that a contestant is eliminated every week. (I prefer the one-off cooking competition shows on The Food Network like “Chopped” and “Cupcake Wars”.) One of the contestants this season, an Iraq war veteran named Wesley Durden, committed suicide in October after filming was completed. Instead of notifying the public when the guy died (which was well before the season started airing at the end of November) TLC decided to air all his episodes first and then put up a little “in memoriam” note after the guy was eliminated from the show! I find that shocking and tasteless. I’ve only seen the one episode, but Durden seemed like a stand up guy and I know he had fans. Here’s more:

Sergeant Wesley Durden, 28, a contestant on TLC’s baking competition “Next Great Baker,” committed suicide after production wrapped in October, according to the Jacksonville Daily News. However, TLC did not mention Durden’s death until after his elimination from “Next Great Baker” on Monday night’s episode.

The network delivered the news in a memorial note after the episode. TLC then released this statement: “TLC extends its deepest condolences to the family, friends, and colleagues of Sgt. Wesley Durden, who died Oct. 24. He will be warmly remembered by the cast and crew of Next Great Baker.”

Durden was a Iraq War veteran who had been deployed to Iraq twice. According to the Jacksonville Daily News, Durden was a cook with the 82nd Airborne. He is survived by his wife, his seven-year-old son and his two-year-old daughter.

[From Huffington Post]

I understand why they didn’t edit this guy out of the show after he died like they tried to do with “Real Housewives of Beverly Hills” following Russell Armstrong’s suicide. It would have been impossible to cut Durden’s scenes and maintain continuity. There are group baking challenges and he figured prominently in the show. Producers should at least have told the audience prior to the season airing. They could have better honored his memory that way. And/or they could have aired a brief segment in which some of the contestants got together and discussed what Durden meant to them. It just seems so callous to air all those shows and then put up a little note about his death afterwards, like a footnote. It’s like “Oh, by the way, this guy is dead now.” As for Durden’s suicide, I don’t blame the network or the show at all. Who knows what that poor guy was going through. They could have handled the announcement so much better though. I found RHOBH’s response to Armstrong’s death superficial, but at least they tried to talk about it. “Next Great Baker” didn’t even bother.

Here’s a video of Durden’s elimination. He seems so upbeat and positive about the experience. It’s so sad. He was a veteran and a father and it’s just a shame.
(This may only play for US visitors. Sorry about that!)

And here’s his cast interview.

Radar Online has an exclusive that 17 year-old precocious bride Courtney Stodden and her 51 year-old husband, Doug Hutchison, have turned down a spot on a VH1 show called “Relationship Rehab.” It’s a similar d-list famewhore version of “Celebrity Rehab,” probably because they realized they needed a spin off for all the people Dr. Drew was diagnosing as “love addicts.” A source tells Radar that they considered it, but it “wasn’t a perfect fit for the kind of show they wanted to do.” Read: it wasn’t enough money, and the show wasn’t focused solely on them and whatever warped story they wanted to tell involving lucite glitter stripper heels, uncomfortably explicit alliterative sexual innuendos, and statutory rape.

Courtney, 17, and her 51-year-old husband Doug Hutchison were offered a spot on Relationship Rehab, a show being produced by Celebrity Rehab’s John Irwin. It will follow couples living together in a Los Angeles home who would get counseling by world renowned therapists and participate in therapeutic activities and planned events.

“Though Doug and Courtney considered the offer, in the end they felt that this wasn’t a perfect fit for the kind of show they wanted to do,” a source told RadarOnline.com.

“There has been a lot of speculation about their marriage and a lot of people are just waiting for the inevitable ‘train wreck’ to happen, but Doug and Courtney have an incredibly strong relationship and seem very happy together,” the source said.

“So doing a show about going into ‘rehab’ just doesn’t make sense for them.”

RadarOnline.com has learned that Courtney and Doug were offered between $150,000 and $200,000 to appear on the eight-episode series that would have been filmed over three weeks. “By turning down Relationship Rehab Doug and Courtney walked away from a nice chuck of change,” the insider said.

Courtney’s mom-ager Krista Stodden told RadarOnline.com why the famed couple made the decision to turn down the show. “Doug and Courtney are faced with an array of career opportunities and offers each and every day. I’m impressed by their ability to stay true to their convictions and stand behind any decision to respectfully pass on projects that they may feel are not completely right for them.”

These two and Courtney’s creepy ass momager have their eyes on the prize. They probably think they can have a reality career like the Kardashians along with a whole media empire. In their minds, $150k is chump change and will damage the “classy,” “beautiful,” “old Hollywood” brand they’re trying to project. It takes some real delusional famehos to get here, but they’re not going to take it to the next level. They’re Salahis, not Kardashians. Courtney is going to fall on her fat-lipped face. Probably literally, given how small her stripper heels are for her feet.

That cringe-inducing show that TLC barely needed to promote, Virgin Diaries, aired last night. We were previously treated to a trailer in which we saw two of the stars share an awkward first kiss at their wedding. It looked like they were trying to eat each other’s faces off astheir family members were watching in embarrassed disbelief. In another clip (above), the giddy virgin couple describe how they’re going to prepare for sex by taking showers and literally disrobing. It’s hard to watch and even worse to imagine. In the show that aired Sunday, we got to hear their disappointment after they did the deed. The groom describes sex as “not like the movies” and the bride says it was “painful.” This is why you need to practice first.

TLC’s Virgin Diaries may have been short on sex, but thank God it wasn’t short on awkwardness. The Dec. 4 special gave us a peek into the lives of several people who agreed to abstain from any sexual activity before marriage, and while we’d obviously never criticize them for that decision, we will say it probably wasn’t the smartest idea to broadcast their first encounters on national television.

We were first introduced to a trio of best friends — Lisa, 30, Danielle, 29, and Tamara, 30 — who were so proud of being virgins that they even liked to get together and sing about their decision. But there was something off about their little song… and I’m not just talking about the pitch. Or the harmony. Or the melody. It turns out, one of them wasn’t really a virgin! Tamara described herself as a “reclaimed” virgin, which means she has had sex — many many times, actually — but has decided to wipe her slate clean. Because that’s something you can just do.

Then there was 35-year-old Carey, the only member of the cast who did not choose to remain a virgin — though he probably should have pretended it was a choice, because that would have made his tale way less embarrassing. It was also would have been better if he didn’t immediately admit to being a virgin while on a date. Here’s a tip for Carey: “I’m not very experienced with women” is not the best pick-up line. In fact, it works… about zero percent of the time.

But my favorite couple of the evening, hands down, was Ryan and Shanna, who refused to even kiss before tying the knot. They talked about kissing many times — often while riding the seesaw and giggling like manic toddlers — but it wasn’t until their wedding day that the big kiss finally came. And, oh boy, did it come. The minister probably should have said, “You may now devour the bride,” because Ryan literally attacked Shanna’s face like a snake feasting on a defenseless woodland creature. Their families, as well as the millions of viewers at home, watched in slack-jawed horror as the deed went down. – From Hollywood Life

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Contemplating their first night together, Shanna says: ‘I’m a little nervous. Nervous about the actual intercourse I would say. I’m scared.’

Walking hand-in-hand, they talk strategy. ‘I think that you should take a shower first, and then I’ll take a shower, and then I’ll put on my lingerie, and I’ll come into the room,’ Shanna declares.

‘And I’ll have a surprise waiting for you’ interjects Ryan with a smile.

Shanna ploughs on with her plans: ‘We’ll have our robes on, we’ll slowly take our robes off, then do foreplay, and then have sex.’

Ryan then explains that he has never kissed a girl on the lips. ‘We’ve joked about it before, “Oh I really want to kiss you right now”‘ he says, leaning close to Shanna before abruptly pulling away. ‘Oh, nope,’ he laughs…

But after losing their virginity together on their wedding night, the couple have mixed reviews about how things went.

Speaking candidly, Ryan says: ‘It was good, but not as good as I was expecting,’ adding naively: ‘It was not really like in the movies.’

Leaving no details to spare, Shannin tries to sound positive saying it was an amazing experience – but adds that she found intercourse ‘really painful’. –

[From Hollywood Life & Daily Mail]

I’ll be honest, I didn’t watch this trainwreck. I meant to tape it but I forgot. When I checked Comcast on demand I was kind of relieved that it wasn’t available as I don’t want to have to sit through it. This reminds of of a woman who was on that VH1 show “Why am I Still Single?” She was a virgin and she insisted on telling her date about it the first time they went out. She got schooled pretty quickly by the matchmaker Siggy that it was totally inappropriate to bring that up so soon. I get that some people want to save themselves for marriage and that’s admirable in theory. For some people like this, though, it seems like it becomes the most important thing about them. If you build it up that much of course sex is going to be a letdown. Would these people have gotten married if they didn’t insist on not even kissing before making it legal? Also, you can’t “reclaim” your virginity, that’s ridiculous.

Screenshot via

[From HollywoodLife Animated gif from Warming Glow