Heidi Montag and her giant teeth were on the Late Show last night. She wore a pink slip dress that looked like lingerie and explained the plot of her faux reality show, The Hills. She talked about her feud with Lauren Conrad and about Lauren’s sex tape with Jason Wahler, which she says exists even though Lauren tried to make it seem like she made it up.

Dave asked “How much of this is actual and how much is professional wrestling?”
Heidi answered “I wish it was professional wrestling because then we’d be the smartest cast ever”

Dave showed the Rolling Stone cover featuring all The Hills women, and Heidi said that they weren’t Photoshopped together and that “unfortunately we were all there.” She said that everyone else had a good time and that she just wanted to get out of there.

As for when she’s going to marry Spencer, Heidi said she’s young now and seemed to suggest that it will be a while.

The thing that bothered me about the interview is that Dave took the whole thing so seriously while Heidi blathered on about her feud with Lauren and about how Lauren shouldn’t tell her who to date. He made a few good natured jokes but he really didn’t challenge her or put her down like I would have liked to have seen. Heidi has those awful songs out and a new trashy clothing line and Dave didn’t mention either of those things, probably because her handlers told him they were off limits.

Can you guys please explain to me why these Hills characters are everywhere all of a sudden? I know this is a popular show for MTV but from what I’ve seen it’s just a poorly acted soap opera with reality elements. I’ve really been trying to ignore these people, and I don’t cover their petty little fights because it all seems like high school bullshit to me. It’s almost impossible to avoid them, though, and they seem to have weasled their way into popular culture. I just hope this trend fades as quickly as it seems to have begun.

Heidi Montag on David Letterman, 4/30/08, part 1:

Heidi Montag on David Letterman, 4/30/08, part 2:

Heidi Montag is shown outside The Late Show yesterday, thanks to WENN.

Joe Simpson seems absolutely intent on wrecking as much of his daughters’ lives as he possibly can. Truly, if he sat down with a marker, paper, and poster board and drew out some type of chart titled, “Ways to Interfere with/Mess Up Offspring & Impede All Forms of Happiness,” he could not have done a better job. Which is why I’m pretty sure he’s planned this all out. Because any quasi-sane, loving parent would have stepped off by now and said, “You know what? Whatever I touch, I ruin. Maybe I should stop touching things.” And I mean that exactly how it sounds, Joe Simpson. Perv.

Anyway, Joe has decided he wasn’t satisfied just ruining daughter Jessica’s life with his domineering, interfering ways while filming the Newlyweds with now ex-husband Nick Lachey. There’s a reason Nick’s an ex, and it rhymes with and looks just like Papa Joe. Simpson has decided (seemingly without involving his daughter in the decision) that Ashley and new fiancé Pete Wentz are going to do their own Newlyweds show. Because why wreck just one marriage when you can wreck two?

Get yourself ready for the return of MTV’s Newlyweds — with a twist! Instead of Jessica Simpson and Nick Lachey, it’s Simpson version 2.0 is coming your way, with Jessica’s little sister, Ashlee Simpson, 23, and fiancé, Pete Wentz, 28, set to appear as the couple in the hit MTV format — at least if Joe Simpson gets his way!

Never one to miss a money-making opportunity, Ashlee’s dad and manager Joe seems determined to turn this idea into a reality. “He knows that no one cared about Jessica before her reality show, and he’s hoping a show for Ashlee will have the same effect,” a source close to the singer tells OK!.

With a wedding on the horizon, a baby on the way and a famous rocker fiancé, Ashlee’s life has all the ingredients for a reality show. (Ashlee and Pete’s publicist tells OK! they are not set to appear in Newlyweds.) If the program comes off, let’s hope the Bittersweet World singer’s love story doesn’t end the same way as her sister’s failed marriage.

[From OK!]

Touché, OK. Touché. Never did I think I could wholeheartedly agree with anything that came from the printing press of OK Magazine, but they’re pretty much right on the ball on this one. The Simpson girls clearly don’t have the spine to stand up to their father. I was hoping one of their spouses would have, but if I were a betting woman, I would have gone with Nick Lachey long before I could imagine Pete Wentz standing up to Papa Joe. And I think he’s a little too busy sharpening his eyeliner pencil to be bothered. The sad thing is, I’d probably watch this show, if only to yell at Joe Simpson.

Here’s Pete and Ashley at the White House Correspondents’ Association dinner at the Washington Hilton on April 26th. Images thanks to WENN.

A lot of people would probably like to ban Brooke Hogan from being within 100 yards of them. I sure would. Imagine if the whole world could get a restraining order against her. How glorious that would be. Well three Florida universities have managed to ban her – or at least deny her admission to their fine academic halls. I know, I’m jealous too. I wish I could not just ban Brooke from places but also banish her to places – several volcanic, deserted islands come to mind.

Brooke, 19, wants to film her family’s crap-ass reality show Hogan Knows Best on campus – and in the classroom - thus totally disrupting the lives of the thousands of other students for her benefit. Luckily the first three schools she applied to were smart enough to say no.

Hoping to film the VH1 reality show Hogan Knows Best with a nine-camera-wielding production team, the young member of the wrestler’s family was denied admission at those institutions [the University of South Florida, Florida State University and the University of Central Florida] out of concerns that she and her crew might disrupt the others students’ academic lives, the Palm Beach Post reports.

The upshot was, on Tuesday and Wednesday, Hogan (real name: Brooke Ellen Bollea) went to the southeast coast of the Sunshine State and toured the campus of Florida Atlantic University – where she met with Student Government president Tony Teixeira and sorority and fraternity members, as well as tooled around the grounds on two golf carts hired by the show.

No decision has been made regarding Hogan’s permission to film on campus – or even if she’ll be admitted as a student, says the newspaper, which does quote FAU spokeswoman Kristine McGrath as saying, “The university would not agree to an arrangement that would be disruptive to the academic setting.”

[From People]

All three of the universities that declined to accept Brooke said they declined to accept her because they don’t want a show filmed on their campus and in their classrooms. But here’s what confuses me: if Brooke applied to these schools and had grades good enough to get in, wouldn’t she have been accepted – but just told that she couldn’t film there? Something makes me think this is just some PR on the part of the Hogan family to cover up for Brooke not getting accepted into all three schools that she’s been blabbing about.

Here’s Brooke Hogan about to bust out of her top in a super classy dress at the Grammys on February 10th. Does she really look 19 to you? Images thanks to PR Photos.

Jennifer Lopez is really spending a lot of time with her newborn twins, judging from all the statements she’s made and the projects she’s taking on. She told People Magazine that she’s training for a triathlon because she wants “her babies to be proud” of her. Now she’s taking on a reality television show for TLC, and she describes it as a “very special journey,” but only mentions her business projects, not her new daughter and son:

The pop diva and new mama made a surprise appearance on Wednesday at the Discovery Network’s Upfront at Jazz at NYC’s Lincoln Center to talk about her new show.

The reality show will debut on TLC, and will be a series about her life. “It will be a special journey,” Lopez said. “I’m launching my fragrance and working on a movie.” J.Lo revealed she went through a very creative process while pregnant, and might even consider running a triathalon now that her babies are born.

[From OK! Magazine]

The press release from TLC says that it “deliver a slice of (Lopez’s) life that audiences have never seen before, as she takes on her career and launches a new fragrance while trying to juggle her new responsibilities as a first time mom,” but it sounds like the network is the only one mentioning her role as a mother.

It’s possible she doesn’t want the focus to be on her children because of the potential risk to them, but why make a reality show at all? Oh that’s right, she needs to keep raking in the bucks so that she can buy the twins the best things in the world, because they would rather have couture fashion and designer toys instead of a mother who dotes on them.

I guess this challenges my assumption that reality shows are a last ditch effort by washed up or relatively low-level celebrities to get back in the public eye, because surely J.Lo is above all that.

Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony are shown outside the Waverly Inn on 4/14/08, thanks to Splash and WENN.

There are all different levels of bad ideas. There’s obvious ones like walking into traffic, and less obvious ones, like spending the day with Mel Gibson – it could go either way. But pretty much anything having to do with OJ Simpson is guaranteed to be a bad idea. It could even be spending a day with OJ Simpson petting kittens, and I assure you, something really, really bad will come of it. According to Page Six, OJ has expressed his desire to appear on Celebrity Apprentice – and Donald Trump and NBC are vaguely considering it.

It looks like there could be “killer” ratings in store for TV’s “The Celebrity Apprentice” if OJ Simpson gets his way. Page Six has learned the creepy double-murder acquittee has asked Donald Trump to allow him to appear on the top-rated NBC show next season. “Simpson really wants to do it. Trump and NBC are thinking about it, but are being very cautious,” our source said. “There’s a certain amount of heat associated with Simpson.”

[From the New York Post]

A certain amount of heat? That’s the understatement of the year. Yeah there’s generally some heat associated with murderers. Especially when you put them on reality shows. I wonder in what capacity Simpson would like to appear? Does he want to be one of the contestants, or is he hoping to appear in one of the challenges? Here’s an idea for a challenge: spend three hours in a room with OJ and try not to suffer a panic attack resulting from the absolute assurance that you will wind up with a slashed throat. That was somehow your fault.

Everyone knows Donald Trump loves attention, and any kind of publicity is alright with him. And I pick on Donald a lot. But if he has the basic class to pass on this and not give OJ Simpson any more attention, I promise to make fun of him one less time a month. Or at least I’ll do my best.

The $250,000 winner of Biggest Loser: Couples was a woman who had lost the most weight for a female in the four year history of the NBC reality show. Ali Vincent, a 32 year-old hairstylist from Arizona, was the first female to take home first prize. She lost 112 pounds to go down to a 122 pounds from her starting weight of 234. Her mom, Bette Sue Burkland, lost 75 pounds to go from 261 to 186 pounds.

The runner up was Roger Shultz, a 40 year-old former football player and radio host from Alabama, who lost 164 pounds to weight in at 199 from a starting weight of 363 pounds. Roger received the most votes from viewers.

Here are the photos of the amazing transformations of the contestants, who all come away winners for having transformed their health and their lives. Thanks to xenphora on ONTD for these pictures, originally from NBC.com. Details from Wikipedia. Weight loss represents loss at the time of the Finale and not when contestants were eliminated.

Winner Ali Vincent, 32, and her mom Bette Sue Burkland, 53. Ali: 234 lbs. to 122 lbs. Betty Sue: 261 lbs. to 186 lbs

Runner up: Roger Shultz, 40, and his former football teammate Trent Patterson, 39. Roger: 363 lbs. to 199 lbs. Trent: 436 lbs. to 301 lbs. Roger is the one to the left.

Third place: Kelly Fields, 38, and her ex husband Paul Marks, 43. Kelly: 271 lbs. to 162 lbs. Paul: 303 lbs. to 233 lbs.

Mark Kruger, 35, and brother Jay Kruger, 31. Mark: 285 lbs. to 156 lbs. Jay: 293 lbs. to 190 lbs.

Dan Evans, 21, and mom Jackie Evans, 49. Dan: 310 lbs. to 174 lbs. Jackie: 246 lbs. to 157 lbs.

Brittany Aberle, 22, and Bernie Salazar, 27. Brittany: 221 lbs. to 164 lbs. Bernie: 283 lbs. to 153 lbs.

Neill Harmer, 28, and wife Amanda Harmer, 29. Neill: 317 lbs. to 229 lbs. Amanda: 204 lbs. to 140 lbs.

Jenn Widder, 22, and best friend Maggie King, 23. Jenn: 254 lbs. to 190 lbs. Maggie: 239 lbs. to 169 lbs.


Lynn Westphal, 60, and daughter Jenni Westphal, 31. Lynn: 390 lbs. to 329 lbs. Jenni: 267 lbs. to 213 lbs.


Curtis Bray, 35, and wife Mallory Bray, 36. Curtis: 381 lbs. to 231 lbs. Mallory: 217 lbs. to 152 lbs.

If you have seen either season of the VH1 reality dating show “Rock of Love,” starring washed up Poison frontman Bret Michaels (whom I am convinced is totally bald under that stupid bandanna), then you know that the “ladies” on this show enjoy getting wasted, getting naked, getting in catfights, throwing up all over the place and trashing stuff. Yes, it’s quite highbrow entertainment. Now, the owner of the $9 million mansion where the show was taped is pissed off and wants the show’s producers, including Michaels, to foot the bill for the damage.

The Poison rocker turned reality-TV lothario has been added to a breach-of-contract lawsuit filed Friday against the producers of Rock of Love by the owner of the $9 million home where they filmed the VH1 series’ second season last winter.

Ray Sahranavard claims at least $380,000 worth of damage was done to his Encino, Calif., mansion after Mindless Entertainment Inc. promised to take care of the residence and provide an additional $3 million of liability insurance for him—just in case.

According to his complaint, upon returning to his home after two months of filming, Sahranavard found holes in the walls and ceilings, the doors had been removed, most of his grass and outdoor plants had died, and the interior of the home had been almost entirely repainted.

A general contractor assessed the damage at $380,000, but then the producers attempted to distance themselves from what went on inside the house, claiming they were not aware of what Michaels was up to when not being monitored by the company, the lawsuit states. They later admitted they never obtained the extra insurance, either.

In his original suit, the disgruntled homeowner accused Mindless Entertainment of breach of contract, fraud, negligence and negligent misrepresentation. And on Wednesday, he amended the complaint to include Michaels as a defendant, also accusing the 45-year-old musician of intentional destruction of property.

Reps for Michaels and Mindless have not yet commented on the suit.

[From E!Online]

How could the producers claim to be unaware of what was going on that house when they encouraged it? Some of the crazy bitches - er, I mean contestants from last season’s show spoke about their experiences on the show and said that they were constantly being provided with alcohol and very little food at all hours of the day. I guess the producers wanted the girls to stay trashed because it makes for great drama. And I’m sure they realized after the first day that keeping 16 lowlife ex-strippers smashed for weeks is going to get messy, too. So here’s your lesson for the day, kids: if you own a multimillion dollar home, never allow it to be rented for a reality show.

Picture note by Celebitchy: Header photo is from July, 2007 and was found on tv.yahoo.com.

Pam Anderson wants you to know that she is not Denise Richards. Sure, she is dim and plastic, a shitty actress, can’t function without a camera pointed at her, and she’s going to have her own reality show like Denise, but that’s where she draws the line. Pam Anderson is moving forward with her E! reality show, scheduled to air this summer and she wants everyone to know that the show will not feature Anderson’s two sons with former husband, Tommy Lee.

Unlike some of E!’s other shows, including Keeping Up with the Kardashians, Snoop Dogg’s Fatherhood and the upcoming Living Lohan, Pamela will not feature Anderson’s children in the show, according to the network.

The series will be shot in a highly stylized documentary style, according to the producers of the series at World of Wonder Productions.

“Pamela will be an artistically rich and visually stunning series,” said Randy Barbato, managing director of World of Wonder Productions, in a statement. “The series will offer an unprecedented look inside the life of one of today’s most iconic superstars in the style of a uniquely shot documentary film.”

[From Broadcasting & Cable]

These E! executives must think we are morons. “Artistically rich and visually stunning?” I think they mean “vapid and ridiculous, with lots of closeups of Pam’s T&A.” That sounds about right. I can see it now: Pam washes her car. In a bikini. Pam goes shopping. In a bikini. Pam files her taxes. In a bikini. Riveting television, I tell you!

As for the decision not to showcase the children, it’s probably a good idea, considering that she spends more time skanking around Las Vegas, getting married and divorced on a whim and trading sexual favors for card game losses than, you know, actual parenting. Besides, with parents like Pam and Tommy, these kids have enough to deal with.

Note by Celebitchy Anderson gave Hugh Heffner a naked lap dance for his 82nd birthday. She came out of a bedroom in his Vegas suite wearing nothing but heels and proceeded to dance for him. The owner of The Palms Fantasy Towers confirmed the story, saying “[Hugh] was stunned and had the biggest smile I’ve ever seen.”

Anderson is shown on a German TV show with magician Hans Klok on 3/15/08. Denise Richards is shown performing with the Pussycat Doll in June, 2006.

Top 9 “American Idol” contestant David Cook was rushed to the hospital with heart palpitations and dangerously high blood pressure after his performance on the show yesterday.

Cook has been lauded by judges for his risk-taking and strong performances, and performed his own arrangement of Dolly Parton’s “Little Sparrow” last night. Dolly Parton praised his voice and talent during rehearsals.

Cook really nailed the performance and looked at ease on stage. All the judges praised him, with Simon tempering it a little by saying it wasn’t as good as his last performance. Cook was taken to the hospital shortly after the show. He has high blood pressure and the stress sent it skyrocketing. Cook was treated by a private physician, given blood pressure medication and released.

Cook’s brother has cancer and suffered a medical setback recently, and that is said to have contributed to his high level of stress. Hopefully he’s ok now and will be able to find ways to keep his blood pressure down.

Meanwhile dancer Derek Hough, Shannon Elizabeth’s professional partner on “Dancing With The Stars” wrenched his neck during rehearsals yesterday and was taken to the hospital. He recovered, and was back to work.

It’s not an easy job having to preform new material in front of millions of people every week.

Here’s David Cook performing “Little Sparrow” last night. You would never know he was having a problem, and maybe he felt ok until after his performance:

And here’s Derek Hough doing the jive with Shannon Elizabeth on Monday. You can see how he might throw something out with all those moves he’s doing.

I knew it was going to happen, but that doesn’t make it any less disgusting. America’s most famous hooker, Ashley Alexandra Dupre, has been invited by Donald Trump to join the cast of his new MTV reality show. Commence groaning now.

An insider at Donald Trump’s newly announced My Fair Lady-style MTV reality show tells PEOPLE that infamous call girl Ashley Alexander Dupré has been asked to join the cast.

The still-untitled show, produced by Donald Trump Productions (and referred to in some press reports as “Lady or a Tramp”) was picked up by MTV for eight hour-long episodes. Based on a British show called Ladette to Lady, the show will take a group of 15 hard-partying young women and send them off to a boarding school environment where they’ll learn to become more ladylike.

“She’s the perfect candidate,” the show insider says of Dupré, the 22-year-old at the center of the Gov. Eliot Spitzer prostitution scandal. The show has not yet heard back from Dupré with any reaction to the offer.

Donald Trump could not immediately be reached for comment.

The Donald has had some experience reforming hard-partying young women in the past, of course. He famously sent Miss USA Tara Conner to rehab and gave her a “second chance” to keep her crown in December of 2006.

[From People]

I hate Donald Trump- and now, I have a whole new reason for my hatred. Since his last few seasons of “The Apprentice” were boring and contrived and nobody watched, he’s looking to include controversial people to the cast of his new show. However, the last thing this stupid little hobag Dupre needs is a reality show. She’s already an attention whore in addition to being a professional whore! What should happen is that she becomes a pariah and fades into obscurity where she belongs. I really hope this show tanks.