Remember back in the good old days, when stars would be wooed to be on a project? Apparently those days of wining, dining, and flattery are over. Donald Trump has been doing his usual blabbing to Page Six, and told them he wants Paris Hilton, Lindsay Lohan, and Britney Spears to be on his new celebrity version of the Apprentice. But instead of sending some flowers and a note with some chocolates, Donald thought it better to tell Page Six that Britney’s a mess. If she was on the fence before, I’m pretty sure she’s jumped off now.

“’We’re negotiating with Britney right now.” The Donald told Page Six. (Doesn’t he know that’s almost enough to get a subpoena from K-Fed’s lawyer?!) “Can you imagine her doing it? We’re not sure what will happen. She’s a [expletive] mess. And that little reality show she had did nothing. But she likes the idea of being on television and I think she’d be great.’”

[From MSNBC]

Um, Donald? I know you’re the greatest businessman ever, with the awesomest hair ever, but I don’t think calling someone names is the best way to get them on your side. And it’s probably no the greatest plan to blab to the press that Lindsay Lohan should get new parents if she wants a better life if you want to woo her. That’s just me, and I’m no expert. Just a thought though.

“Apparently Paris Hilton wants in on the fun. ‘(She) wants to be on, and we’re thinking about it, but I don’t know if we’re going to do it,’ Trump said.

“What about LiLo? ‘Another (expletive) mess,’ said the blunt billionaire. ‘We haven’t asked her yet, but I’m going to call her this week. It would be a positive thing for her to do … for all of them,’ he boasted to Page Six.”

[From MSNBC]

This guy is so delusional. He thinks he’s sexy on a stick, and smart to boot. Apparently egomania can get you pretty far in this country, or at least get you a willing ear at the Daily News. I never thought I’d say this, but I’m pretty sure Paris Hilton, Lindsay Lohan, and Britney Spears are all too smart, or at least have too much dignity – to say yes to this project. Damn you, Donald Trump, you’re such a asshole that you actually made me say that the airhead trifecta has dignity. That’s what a moron you are.

Picture note by JayBird: Here’s the Donald at a private photo shoot (probably for his new line of Trump Ties) at his Ft. Lauderdale home in July. Keep your panties on, Ladies. Header image from Donald unveiling his Trump Home Luxury Lifestyle collection at Macy’s on July 19th. Image thanks to PR Photos.

Just what we need - another reality show.

Hard hitting attorney Gloria Allred is slated to star in her own reality series, “No Guts No Gloria,” which is currently being shopped around town with the anticipation that one of the networks - cable or otherwise - will take it on.

According to Hearst Entertainment, the concept of the show is to pair up Allred with people who are “angry and out for justice,” making room for Allred to use her “take-no-prisoners attitude and unconventional tactics,” to help them find real and fair solutions to problematic situations.

According to Jerry Shevick, Executiave Vice President of Reality and Documentary Programming for Hearst and who will produce, says Allred’s time has come:

“Gloria has been in the middle of some of the past decades’ biggest stories, and I believe that she will help us create situations for our series’ participants every bit as dramatic and newsworthy as she’s done for hundreds of her own clients.”

Allred, who has been a practicing attorney for over 31 years, has some high profile cases under her diamond studded belt, including Amber Frey, who was a witness in the Scott Peterson murder trial.

Allred, who hosted a radio talk show on KABC for 14 years and who is the author of “Fight Back and Win: My Thirty-Year Fight Against Injustice And How You Can Win Your Own Battles,” says:

“We believe that we’ve found a creative and unique concept that will be both entertaining and empowering. I love a new challenge, and I think our participants will too.”

Hollywood Reporter

Most recently, Allred is heading up the cases of at least two Hollywood heavyweights; Melanie Brown and her paternity suit against her baby daddy, Eddie Murphy (TMZ caught Allred and Brown lunching at the infamous Mr. Chow last week) as well as former NYPD Blue star Esai Morales, who is being sued by a former girlfriend who claims the actor assaulted her and gave her herpes.

That should be enough to keep her busy for oh, a few more weeks at least.

The Simple Life will no longer be aired on the E! Network, it’s second home since Fox canceled the played-out faux reality series featuring Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie in 2005. There will be no sixth season, as least none that features Paris and Nicole. It is thought that their well known legal troubles (each was given jail time for separate DUI incidents) made the public sour on them and led the network to drop the series.

The Simple Life might return in some form, and producers have not said that it is over, but Nicole and Paris won’t be on it.

E! has opted not to renew The Simple Life, announcing Monday that the finale of the show’s latest season, The Simple Life Goes to Camp, will also mark the end of the shenanigan-laced series with the two celebutantes….

“The Simple Life has been a wonderful addition to the E! Schedule for two years and we will always be grateful to Paris and Nicole for their hard work and graciousness,” E! said in a statement.

The news comes as the longtime pals have faced their own legal woes…

While E! has pulled the plug on The Simple Life, series producer Twentieth Century Fox refuses to say the franchise is a goner. The company is apparently holding out hope another network may pick it up for another go-round, in the same way E! did in 2005 after Fox dropped the show. However, any new incarnation would not feature Hilton and Richie.

[From E! Online]

An article on US Weekly’s blog quotes “an insider” who says “We felt like the real life drama of their lives overshadowed anything happening on the show… Viewers would see Paris all day long on the news about her going to jail, so they didn’t care about seeing her camping with kids. It just was too played out.”

Did anyone actually watch this show? I saw a few episodes of the first and second season and found it incredibly annoying. It was cringe-inducing in parts, particularly when Paris and Nicole would pull those dumb ass scripted stunts. They came off as deliberately cruel, lazy guests and day employees whose sole purpose was to pull idiotic pranks, like leprechauns with trust funds. At one point Paris made lasagna for a family and that was just about the only moment I found her likable. You can see how people would dislike them even more now.

Good riddance to The Simple Life. It’s not like many people were going to watch it anyway.

Maybe Perez Hilton realizes this is a shitty week for gossip and is trying to spice it up in his own ridiculous way. Either that or he’s desperately trying to get some attention for his upcoming VH1 reality show. The Queen of all ripped off paparazzi pictures has challenged Brandon Davis’ larger and lesser-known brother, Jason Davis, commonly known as Gummi Bear, to a hotdog eating contest outside of popular LA store Kitson.

Maybe Perez doesn’t really want to go through with it, though, because he proposes that before attempting to chow down as many dogs as possible they run a mile. I’m guessing the running part is to discourage Gummi from participating. It also doesn’t sound like a legitimate eating contest to me because there’s no time limit mentioned.

It could also be the case that Perez is trying to get some material worthy of 5 minutes of airtime on VH1. His “What Perez Says” show will supposedly debut in September. The majority of the footage of Victoria Beckham light-footing around scowling got discarded for her reality show and was cut to just a one hour special that tanked. Maybe Perez fears a similar fate, as earlier stories had his reality show being denied for lack of celebrity friends. Just have someone shit on the floor and say they couldn’t hold it and it’ll be good enough for VH1.

Perez and Gummi Bear’s biathalon will take place today at 5:00 pm PST if Gummi accepts the challenge.

Perez is shown below at Tori Spelling’s BBQ for her “Inn Love” reality series on 7/16. I understand that it’s easy to gain weight when you’re in front of the computer all day. Carbs must be hard to resist when you work in a coffee shop, but it’s like he’s become a parody of himself. With that bright orange hair and the ridiculous way he dresses maybe he is subconsciously trying to make himself into the biggest target possible. He’s showing the public that he’s not afraid of our ire and that insults just bounce off of him. It’s like he’s saying “take your best shot people,” I’m large, orange and in charge.

Header image is of Perez at Outfest 2007 LA Gay and Lesbian Film Festival on 7/14. I wonder if anyone talked to Perez at the festival or if he was mostly met with scowls. Gummi Bear is shown below at the beach in January. Thanks to Splash for these pictures.

Screenshot from hotghettomess.com, the website on which the new BET show is based.

BET’s new show “Hot Ghetto Mess” is causing a storm of controversy before it has even aired… and before critics and advertisers have even seen it. The show is based on a website (site has automatic music) by the same title, which “features photos of men and women, mostly black, with extreme hairstyles and clothing typically linked to hip-hop fashion,” according to the Washington Post. The show merges home videos sent in by viewers and man-on-the-street interviews produced by the network. BET said the show is intended to motivate and encourage “viewers to improve themselves and their communities.”

“Hotghettomess.com was created by Jam Donaldson, 34, a black lawyer from Washington, D.C., who is an executive producer on the BET program. On her site, Donaldson calls for a ‘new era of self-examination.’ The show builds on the Web site’s effort to take ‘a hard look at some dysfunctional elements of our community,’ [BET entertainment head Reginald] Hudlin said.

“‘The intent of the show is no different than what Bill Cosby is doing as he’s going across the country and lecturing as he talks about the problems of the (black) community that we need to address,’ he said. “Hot Ghetto Mess” approaches its goal in a lively way that will engage BET’s young audience, Hudlin said.

“Donaldson told reporters that the series has ‘exceeded my expectations. Everyone that sees the show will be pleasantly surprised. … I think they will learn something. There’s black history. We go to the community and ask what their opinion of some of these images are,’ she said.

“‘The show is so much more than the name,’ Donaldson said. She started the site because of ‘images of black dysfunction’ that were being distributed on the Internet without discussion of the need for change.”

[From the Washington Post]

Two major BET advertisers have already pulled out. Both the Home Depot and State Farm Insurance requested that their ads not run during the show. BET entertainment head Reginald Hudlin said, “‘It’s unfortunate that people are making an erroneous presumption based on absolutely zero information.’”

The blog What About Our Daughters, which focuses on the way black women are depicted in American culture, has said that both the site and the show of demean blacks. They have a comment from HotGhettoMess.com that they’ve posted on their own website which shows one of the many negatives HotGhettoMess has.

I am the mother of the teenager who was exposed on your website. She was at her senior prom and someone snapped a photo while she was dancing and submitted it to your website. Her breast had come out of her dress and she was bending over while looking back during a dance position. She had no idea this had happened and is very humiliated by this.’ Comment From HotGhettoMess.com.”

[From What About Our Daughters]

I can see where both sides are coming from, and I’m sure I still don’t understand the whole picture. On the one hand, it seems like the way the show intends to encourage “viewers to improve themselves and their communities” is by embarrassing them. The site’s creator manages to make it seem like its actually serving a purpose, but it also prominently features pictures like the “Hot Mess of the Month.” If the site’s (and the show’s) purpose is to discourage the glorification of the current “ghetto chic” lifestyle, I suppose that’s a good thing. But one could argue that some people have embraced that lifestyle because it’s what they know, and it’s theirs if they want it. No matter what, this ultimately comes down to money. Both the TV show and the website have advertising, and their creators profit from viewers. I’ve been seeing articles about this controversy popping up for at least the last week. It will be interesting to see if this show ever airs, and in what format, and what people have to say about it.

Liza Minelli’s former husband and Scariest Looking Man Ever contest winner David Gest’s ITV television show has been canceled. Gest hosted a show called “This is David Gest” which was a sort of fly-on-the-wall type show. Apparently he got the gig because he won fans with his, “quirky sense of humor on I’m A Celebrity… Get Me Out Of Here!” I wasn’t under the impression that people thought he was funny, they just thought he was a jerk. Exciting as his show sounds; it only attracted two million viewers, so ITV axed it after six months, even though they’d signed on for a year. Apparently there was a lot of backstage drama and too many problems ensued. The sexually questionable Gest has long been famousfor his temper tantrums and hissy fits. Gest also had a part on the critically denigrated show “Grease Is The Word.”

The best part of the story is the quote given from ITV head honcho Simon Shaps. “’We don’t have any plans for him. We’re not signing him to another deal - I’m not sure what you would do next.’” I think that’s probably representative of the feelings the general public has towards Gest as well.

In equally appalling David Gest/Liza Minnelli news, the pair are together again… at least their wedding is. Their lavish (tacky) union just topped Forbes.com’s list as the most expensive celebrity wedding ever, coming in at over $3.5 million. I don’t think they spent their money that well, because the only lasting impression I have of their wedding are those absolutely horrifying pictures of them with Liz Taylor (the matron of honor) and Michael Jackson (the best man). I thought they held their wedding at a Taco Bell or something. Apparently there were 15 bridesmaids and 15 groomsmen, and 55 famous singers performed at their reception, held at the Regent Hotel in New York. They also register for four soup bowls that were $3,000 apiece. They made Star Jones’s affair look classy and understated in comparison.

Picture note by Celebitchy: Thanks to PRPhotos for these pictures of Gest out in London on 4/24/07, or 24/4/07, depending on if you’re in Europe.

Snoop Dogg will soon have his own reality show on E! Entertainment Television. Somehow, that makes sense. Apparently Snoop will be shown trying to balance all the complexities that exist in his life. You know, the smoking too much herb, playing too much X Box, and carrying too many guns. The show, described as “’hilarious and heartwarming,’” will debut later this year.

Snoop Dogg is, without a doubt, one of the most charismatic and intriguing personalities in pop culture today,’” said Ted Harbert, president and CEO of Comcast Entertainment Group, the parent company of E! Networks.

“’While he has captured a legion of fans as the king of hip-hop, what makes Snoop most interesting is the side of him that people have never seen. The juggling act that Snoop faces day-in, day-out between career and family is certain to resonate with our viewers.’”

[From E! News]

Snoop is a complex figure. He participates in a lot of community programs and charity work, yet he also has had numerous serious legal troubles that somehow never seem to hurt his career. He was a member of the Crips gang and was charged with the 1993 murder of rival gang member Philip Woldermariam. Snoop was later acquitted. He and his crew were charged in a civil rape case in 2006. A makeup artist for the Jimmy Kimmel show claimed that she was drugged and raped by Snoop and four others. Snoop countersued her for extortion, and both cases were dropped. More recently, Snoop and his posse were arrested at Heathrow airport in London for “violent disorder and affray.” They then vandalized several buildings, injuring police officers. Snoop was later banned from the UK for the foreseeable future. There’s a lot more… too much to write. For a journey through Snoop’s legal troubles, go to Wikipedia. Snoop has also done a lot more good than many celebrities. He founded the Snoop Youth Football league after seeing how hard it was for inner-city families to afford all the costs associated with youth football leagues. Every year they hold the Snooperbowl. Man that’s cute.

I’m really upset to say that I will absolutely be watching this. And I refuse to watch any reality television, but for the first time in my life, I cannot resist it. It will be interesting to see how the show highlights the good that Snoop does, and the fact that he’s a devoted husband and father, in contrast to his gangsta image and legal troubles.

Pictures from PRPhotos.

Tori Spelling has become a minister. You can call her reverend.

I thought that this whole thing was just a stunt for her reality TV show, which it is, but you can actually become a minister online! I always thought this was a joke.

Anyway, Tori has already performed her fist gay union, at the Chateau La Rue. Here’s what she had to say about it on her blog.

So, very exciting weekend for this new mom. I am now officially ordained. Yep, thats right….Reverend Tori Spelling! I did it last week online and my official certificate is in the mail. I’m so proud. I can’t wait to hang it. And, this weekend Chateau La Rue had its very first wedding. I was so honored when the couple asked me to officiate. We did it on the front steps of the Chateau as 40 of their friends looked on seated in a lounge like atmosphere. It was so beautiful as I united Tony and Dex as life partners in love. They wrote their own beautiful vows and there was so much love surrounding them that there wasnt a dry eye in the driveway! I was beyond nervous though. I’ve done live theater and presented at The Emmys and this by far was my scariest moment simply because they had bestowed such an honor upon me and I didnt want to let them down. Afterwards, we threw the reception on our grounds where guests dined on tapas of hanger steak, sea bass, veggie lasagna, and tuna tartare. We had amazing Martini’s( thank you Krol Vodka) that we named after the couples favorite Broadway musicals. And, once again our friends at Wilson Creek Winery provided us with their special Almond Champagne. Its the best in the world! Our guests can’t get enough of it. We danced to 80’s,70’s,house, and got a show stopping performance of “Caberet” from one of our grooms. Dean and I took Liam out onto the dance floor and he had his first dance in our arms. The three of us swayed and smiled to Madonna. It was a magical evening of pure love. I will never forget that night and was so proud to witness first hand what I already knew… that Love is pure and true Love knows no gender.As I put Liam down to bed that evening I told him that he will one day find true love. A love that unites him as one with his soulmate. He will be raised knowing that true love is the ultimate and pure love know no age, gender, or race. I’ve found it, Tony and Dex have found it, and I wish love to all that seek it. Don’t ever let anyone tell you who to Love. Only our hearts can dictate that. Congrats again Tony and Dex…we wish you a lifetime of happiness. Love, T

I really like the message here that Tori is sending about raising her child to tolerate everyone’s choice of partner, same sex or not. Still, something weird about this marriage…Oh that’s right! getting married by a former actress from Beverly Hills 90210!

Picture note by Celebitchy: Here are pictures of Tori and Dean in the UK to promote their reality show on June 1, 2007. You may have already seen them, or you probably just don’t care.

Thanks to WENN for these photos.

Who knows why, but NBC has decided to bring back Donald Trump’s lackluster show “The Apprentice” for one more season. In May NBC released its 2007/2008 prime time schedule, and “The Apprentice” wasn’t listed. I assume that really pissed off The Donald, and I didn’t think you’d do that unless you really meant it and were ready to deal with the consequences. Anonymous sources (which I don’t trust) told Reuters (which I do trust) that NBC will announce the show’s renewed contract for either two years or one year with an option on a second year.

Why in the world would NBC want to air this show again? It’s as stagnant as Trump himself. Do we really need to give this delusional egomaniac more airtime? Apparently Trump needs the show more than NBC needs him. Reuters mentioned that “The show is important for Trump’s growing branding effort, which banks on the businessman’s brash image to market products including water, vodka and steaks.”

“The Apprentice” was not doing well – of its original audience, only one-third remained at the end of last season. Originally the show revived Trump’s image, and a lot of articles discussed how viewers found him much more likeable than before. Yet over time that likeability waned. Trump clearly has issues – the whole multiple fights with Rosie O’Donnell prove that he’ll do anything and say anything to make sure he’s still in the headlines.

It’s possible NBC just wants to stay on Trump’s good side – and let’s be honest, if nothing else, he’s a formidable opponent.

“Trump and NBC still remain in the beauty pageant business together. The two announced in March a renewal deal to keep annual broadcasts of the Miss USA and Miss Universe pageants, which Trump co-owns, on the General Electric Co.-controlled network through 2010.”

[From Reuters]

I think if Donald Trump wants to do something to keep himself fresh, he could try being nice. Wouldn’t that surprise everyone enough to give him press for a bit? Or donate more than $250,000 to charities? Trump is consistently listed as one of the least philanthropic (aka greediest) billionaires out there. Can you imagine how much attention he’d get if he did something good?

Picture note by Celebitchy: Trump is shown in the header image at the Trump Tower 1 Ceremony In Las Vegas on 5/25/07. Thanks to PRPhotos. Just to offset that terrible picture, here are some of the Apprentice women in FHM: