Last night was the annual Museum of Contemporary Art gala in California. Lots and lots of celebrities were in attendance, just not many of A-Listers. Instead, we have a buffet of B and C-list talent. I have a theory as to why the A-Listers didn’t show up – it’s because they knew that the lighting was going to be f-cking awful. Seriously, I was looking through these photos, and most of the people in attendance look like they’re at the tail end of some kind of plague. Take Priscilla Presley up there – yes, she normally looks this bad (ugh, poor Priscilla), but last night she actually looked about even with everybody else.

Gwen Stefani and Gavin are probably A-listers, I guess. Although Gwen toned her junk down, and Gavin looks totally over it. Totally over everything.

Kate Bosworth looks like a corpse. There, I said it. And not a fresh corpse either. Someone who has been dead for a while.

Even Mila Kunis looked like hell! Crappy styling, bad hair.

Balthazar Getty is back with his ridiculously smug wife Rosetta, and they’re both sending their own messages to Sienna Miller. Balthy is blinking out an “S-O-S. Need slutty vadge” message and Rosetta is all “None of you homewrecking bitches can take him from me! He‘ll always come home to me after you sluts dump him!”

Here’s Ginnifer Goodwin with her boyfriend, whose name I forget and I’m too lazy to look up Joey Kern. This is the first time I’ve seen a photo of them together – he’s not unattractive, but he has serial killer/grifter eyes.

Jennifer Love Hewitt and Alex Beh… she looks much better (and less drunk) here than she did the other day in that awful white boob-tasseled dress.

Here’s Rachel Bilson, wearing some kind of tablecloth you would find at a family-friendly establishment. Of course she showed up! Because she’s the opposite of famewhore, and she doesn’t just go wherever there are cameras.

Rose McGowan isn’t notable in the least, I just really loved her dress. Isn’t it pretty?

Kiki Dunst was actually one of my favorites from the night – she looked healthy, and the dress is really pretty on her.

Ugh… Chloe Sevigny was there. Of course. And she looked like a total a–hole. Jesus, Chloe.

Rachel Zoe and Rodger. I don’t even want to wonder if that is her “baby bump”. She looks deathly.

I liked Kristin Davis’s hair, but the dress needs a better fit. I’m worried about her “girls”.

Photos courtesy of WENN.

Okay, I was going to make this post about Jennifer Lopez, and then I saw these photos of Halle Berry. Halle, Jennifer and many other celebrities came out last night for The Carousel of Hope Ball. Halle looked amazing in this gorgeous Yves Saint Laurent, even more amazing than she’s recently been looking, in my opinion. What could be the reason for her excessive beauty and hotness? This guy:

DAMN HALLE. This isn’t just sex, y’all. Halle actually has feelings for her Frenchman. That sex must be so good, I can’t even imagine. There must be a lot of biting. And spanking. And handcuffs. I mean… THIS is the sex tape I want to see.

On to Jennifer Lopez. I actually think Jennifer looks really pretty here. Good hair, good makeup, the dress is… not my style, but I think she looks really sexy in it. Marc even looks nice. I’m glad he’s not wearing his sunglasses.

One question though: did Jennifer get something done to her lips? Or is that just a really great lipstick? It feels like her lips are slightly enlarged from collagen or something.

Other stars at the event – Tom Hanks and Rita Wilson. Don’t even ask me what Rita is wearing. I think Rita is so pretty in such a “normal” way, you know? She’s like your boyfriend’s totally attractive mother with great skin and you ask her what kind of night cream she uses. My point? Rita is way prettier than this outfit.

Paris Hilton looking like watered-down Pepto-Bismol.

Sela Ward, who I love, looking underdressed but pretty.

And last but not least, Adrian Brody… looking okay. I don’t hate this facial hair, but he should try to not look so smug.

Photos courtesy of WENN.

Last night was the UK premiere of Red, and Helen Mirren, Brucce Willis and Mary-Louise Parker were all in London for the premiere. I’m only writing about this because Dame Helen and Bruce were so adorable together posing together on the red carpet. What is it about Helen? Whenever she poses with a man – of any age – on a red carpet, I find it so sexy, and I end up wondering why she’s not having an affair with that dude. Bruce could totally give Russell Brand a run for his money – and Bruce looks up for a roll in the hay with Helen, maybe even more so than Brand. Russell is in India, preparing for his wedding to Katy Perry. Do you think he’s looking at these photos and feeling a twinge?

I also love this one, of Bruce kneeling before Helen. I think he’s picking up her earring or something, but it also seems like he’s bowing down before the Queen, right?

Here’s a disturbing side note: Helen hasn’t walked any red carpets with her husband in a couple of months. Yes, Helen and Taylor Hackford have been together for years and years, and they’re not the kind of couple where you think “Oh, if they’re not doing red carpets together, then I bet there’s trouble in paradise!” Obviously, they’ve both been around long enough where I doubt Taylor really feels the need to always be on his lady’s arm. But still… I do wonder. Trouble in paradise?

Photos courtesy of Bauer-Griffin and Fame.

Now for the most horrible dresses that should have never seen the red carpet, ever. It wasn’t even halfway through the E! red carpet show when I realized how horrible it was. Some of these women are so beautiful, and it’s totally pathetic how epic the FAIL was. Like Zoe Saldana up there. She’s styled by Rachel Zoe, and both of them should have known better. I don’t care who designed it. You don’t show up at the damn Oscars with bathmats sewn to the bottom of your Oscar dress. Period. The end.

I don’t even know why Nicole Richie was there. But I know she looked like a 50-something Connecticut housewife hostessing a key party in 1975. Ridiculous.

This dress is so ridiculously fug, I don’t have words. And I think Diane Kruger is a gorgeous woman with the most delicate, fragile beauty. Why would she do this to herself?

Ah, Rose Boobs Theron. That is who she is now. Never Charlize. Always Rose Boobs. This dress is in such bad taste!

Amanda Seyfried is a little mini-Uma Thurman, but this washed-out, bad-bodiced dress does nothing for her or for me. Amanda has boobs! Why would dress like you’re flat-chested? And why the horrible pale color if you’re already so pale? Eh.

Can I just do “no comment” with Miley Cyrus and her mom Trish? This sh-t is horrible. I know people like this exist, but why would you invite it to the Oscars? Between Miley hunching over the entire time, to her talking like she was chomping down on her cud, to Trish’s whole “Real Housewives of the Trailer Park” look, the Academy needs to stop inviting these people.

I hated Vera Farmiga’s dress with a passion. It looked so, so cheap. It looked like the worst poly-blend fabric (in a cheap color) that was chemically stiffened to make her look fat. It’s Marchesa. The name says it all: cheap knock-off.

Now, I didn’t hate Maggie Gyllenhaal’s dress, per se. I might have liked it, or appreciated how unusual and interesting it was if she wore it to a premiere rather than the Oscars. But it wasn’t the right dress for the occasion, and it’s not “pretty”. Which is fine, not every dress has to be princess-style. But the fabric seemed off, didn’t it? Like it was shower curtain fabric.

Suzy Amis (wife of James Cameron) was fighting for worst dressed of the evening. I’m not going to comment on how deathly she looks, because I really do worry that she’s actually sick, but beyond that, the dress is just terrible.

Now, I didn’t really have a hate-on for Carey Mulligan’s dress. The top part was lovely. But I didn’t like the mullet-style for a formal Oscar gown (short in front, long in back). I’m sure it’s high fashion, but to me, it seemed off.

Oh, Sarah Jessica Parker, you crazy bitch. I get the feeling that SJP will literally wear anything if it has the “Chanel” label inside. You could hand her a dress made out of towels, chicken wire and bedazzles, and if it said “Chanel”, SJP would think it was high-fashion. Needless to say, this was a horrible look. She looked dumpy and pregnant, her hair was a train wreck and she seemed drunk and desperate.

Haha, let’s enjoy Elisabetta Canalis while we can, because she’s not going to around for much longer. The dress was meh – it would have been prettier on a different woman (like, say, Zoe Saldana), and it would have been nice if was wrinkled to hell by the time she got on the red carpet. But my favorite part of this look is the f-cking attitude. Did everyone notice how Canalis pouted and looked pissy whenever no one was paying attention to her? She really looked like a f-cking brat. Also, Clooney was badly styled, and he looked drunk, tired and old. Probably from putting up with Canalis’ bullsh-t.

I didn’t really hate Anna Kendrick’s dress either, it was kind of lovely, especially for such a young girl. But the color was off, I thought. It washed her out and she just seemed to fade away.

I love Faith Hill, but I hated this dress. It looked so age-inappropriate and situation-inappropriate to me. Black lace? Really?

CB liked Kate Winslet’s dress, but I thought it looked so cheap. The corset was a different color from the skirt, and both colors sucked. What was with the weird puckering or pleats around the waist? Meh. But her hair and makeup look good.

Seriously, wasn’t this one of the worst red carpets ever?

Just FYI, I’m going to do an epic Worst Dressed post later on, and it’s probably going to be crazy long just because of the Parade of Fug coming down the Oscar red carpet. It’s a little unbelievable how horrible the dresses were for the most part… but I digress. This post is for the best dressed, few and far between. So, let’s start with the newest queen/princess of Hollywood, Sandra Bullock (above). I loved this dress, mostly because Sandy was the one to wear it. It complimented her figure, it was a good (not great) color on her, and the detailing was especially pretty. It photographed well, which Sandy doesn’t always think about with her fashion. I think this was a big fashion win.

Now, I gasped when I saw Meryl. This is the kind of dress you wear when you’re the Grand Dame of Hollywood. She looked like a queen, she really did. Beautiful cut on the dress (designed by Project Runway alum Chris March, who also did her Golden Globes dress), and absolutely gorgeous styling – great hair, stellar makeup, and it was just the prettiest I’ve seen Meryl look in a long time.

Penelope Cruz got it right again! I have to admit, I hated her dress last year, when she won, it was much too princess-y. Penelope is at her best when she does glamour and goddess, which is what a blood-red strapless gown says to me. Love the neckline, great hair, great makeup, and the dress moved really, really well. One of my favorites.

I really liked Rachel McAdams’ dress, even though it was on the verge of pissing me off. It was too pale, and it looked dated to me, but even so, I ended up liking it because of the way Rachel pulled it off. I wish she would go darker overall, though. Darker hair, darked colors. But she looked nice.

Kristen Stewart was a good example of a pale girl knowing well enough to go for a jewel tone that wouldn’t wash her out. I thought the dress itself was gorgeous, beautiful cut, the fit could have been a little better, but I suspect that had more to do with K-Stew’s bad posture. It could have made Kristen look too “old” but I liked how little she accessorized, and how simple her hair was. She’s becoming a little fashion maven, I’m so proud.

I loved Cameron Diaz’s dress too, but did you notice how differently it photographed from the red carpet to the Oscar stage? I thought she had changed at first. On the red carpet it looked like a rich gold color, on stage it looked so much paler. But the dress had gorgeous detailing, and Camy was tan enough to pull it off without it washing her out.

I thought Best Director winner Kathryn Bigelow was one of the most elegant women there. And man, does she have a great figure or what? Seriously, this is one beautiful, classy woman. Great color, great fit, great styling. She looked prettier than most of the actresses there.

I thought Queen Latifah looked gorgeous. But I adore whatever the Queen does. I especially liked the pale lilac color – it looked amazing with her skin tone.

I hate to say it, but Demi Moore kind of pulled this off. Yes, in certain light the color washed her out, and yes, it was derivative of Penelope Cruz’s great Versace a few years ago, and yes, she needs to eat a cookie. But it worked.

CB and I thought this might be fun this year – an open post for the Oscar red carpet. I’m going to be following E! News’ red carpet show, which starts with Ryan Seacrest and Giuliana Rancic at 6 p.m. EST. Now, under almost any other circumstance, I try to avoid any contact with the demon known as La Seacrest, but I have to hand it to E! – they consistently have the best red carpet show, in my opinion. Let’s try not to get nauseous as we watch La Seacrest fall all over the men and completely ignore all of the actresses.

First, a word about E!’s Oscar pre-pre-show. I love how consistently budget E! is year after year. Nothing beats the second-tier E! reporters fawning all over random hair stylists, jewelers and stylists. What kills me is that many of the E! people are so much better at interviews and enthusiasm than La Seacrest. This year’s day-long show was pretty good though – lots of Giuliana, who I enjoy. And they did a lot of fashion, and not just the budget stuff. Hurray! Sigh…anyway, here we go:

5:55 – Giuliana looks really pretty doesn’t she? Remember when her styling was totally crap? Oh, she’s about to change into another look for the red carpet. Too bad.

5:59 – GAH! Seacrest. If he sucks too hard, I’m going to put it back on the NCIS marathon.

6:02 – Sam Worthington looks sexy, but why wouldn’t you shave for the damn Oscars? I kind of think he’s dumb as a rock.

6:04 – Zac Efron. Brush your hair, kid.

6:08 – Giuliana’s dress change is good. Stop showing old dresses! Blah, blah, let me see Anna Kendrick! Okay, there she is! Nice dress, wrong color. It washes her out.

6:10 – Mo’Nique looks good, but I wish she didn’t have weeds in her hair.

6:12 – OMG! Zoe Saldana is wearing a series of bathmats!

6:14 – Mariah looks pretty, nice color.

6:17 – Correction: Mariah is drunk off her ass. Stop hiking up your skirt, girl.

6:21 – I caught a glimpse of Amanda Seyfried, she looks washed out too. Note to young startlets: Stop with the beiges, pale silvers, pale roses, et cetera. Try a damn jewel tone.

6:25 – You know Rachel Zoe is Zoe Saldana’s stylist? This is what a nutrient-less diet does to you. Zoe might be the worst dressed woman thus far.

6:27 Nicole Richie – what the hell? Why is she there? Why is dressed like a 50 year old woman circa 1974? Oh, Ryan Reynolds! And James Cameron. Ugh. Oh, Vera Farmiga! Great color, other then that, no comment.

6:30 – Marchesa, I knew it. Totally cheap.

6:35 – No ScarJo. Am I the only one who find Ryan Reynolds totally vanilla?

6:36 – Sigourney looks regal. Ew, Maggie Gyllenhaal. Why are you wearing curtains from IKEA?

6:38 – Jesus. Suzy Amis needs to eat a cookie. Um… is she sick? If she is, I’m very sorry for anything mean I might have written.

6:40 – Maggie is Dries van Noten (sp?). Peter Sarsgaard makes me hot, I don’t care if he has serial killer eyes. TOM FORD! That beautiful bitch. Elizabeth Backs! Meh. It’s not a bad color or anything, it just doesn’t stun me.

6:44 – Tom Ford is fabulous. Christoph Waltz looks nice too.

6:48 – Ha! Tina Fey just went to someone else. She’s like “f-ck Seacrest!”

6:50 – Sandra! Nice, gold, sequinned. Very pretty. I would have done something else with her hair, but she looks very pretty. Diane Kruger looks like the wrath of the chiffon gods.

6:52 – Now, I love Tina Fey. She’s brilliant, she’s funny, and I think she’s very pretty. But she needs someone different to style her, top to bottom. It’s not that she looks bad, it’s that she could look so much better.

6:56 – Carey Mulligan looks pretty. Good dress, a little too “old” for her. But it’s nice. The more I’m seeing Sandra Bullock’s dress, the prettier I think it is. Great detailing on the bodice.

6:58 – Diane Kruger looks like an a-hole. She’s so talented, I don’t get it. Worst. Red. Carpet. Ever.

7:00 – Sandra is so cute! She seems super-nervous too. Poor thing.

7:01 – Ew, Faith Hill! Girl, that’s not a good dress. You’re too old to wear black lace. Yikes. And Tim McGraw got hair plugs, right?

7:06 – Rachel McAdams looks beautiful. Jake G. needs to shave, but he looks sexy. Miley Cyrus needs to stand up straight, and not wear that dress, it’s ten kinds of wrong.

7:13 – Miley… gawd. Is she chewing gum? Oh, Kathryn Bigelow looks lovely. OH MY GOD. Look at Miley’s mom! Jesus, the apple didn’t fall from that inappropriate tree, did it?

7:14 – Sarah Jessica Parker, Jesus. Between the horrible dress and the twitched hair, damn… this is one of the most fug (fugest?) carpets ever.

7:16 – Helen Mirren just made my life by giving Seacrest the StinkEye.

7:17 – Bigelow might be the best dressed woman of the evening. She’s so elegant and pretty.

7:18 – WTF, Charlize? Rose Boobs.

7:25 – Matt Damon looks cute. Is Lucy pregnant again? She looks it. That’s an example of a pale dress working on a darker-skinned girl.

7:27 – Couples! George Clooney looks like he no longer gives a crap about Elisabetta. Clooney looks horrible too. Grandpa needs a haircut. Colin Firth & his wife look great. Best dressed couple of the night.

7:28 – Jennifer Lopez! Diva looks tired.

7:29 – Clooney looks totally over Eli, it’s ridiculous. Queen Latifah looks great.

7:31 – MERYL! She’s looks gorgeous. OMG. LOVE HER.

7:33 – Ten bucks says Lopez’s dress is Marchesa. Totally cheap.

7:38 – Keanu. He’s so pretty. I love him. I don’t even care about his scraggly beard.

7:39 – Kristen Stewart! She looks really pretty. Low-key, but lovely.

7:40 – I love the color of Gaby Sidibe’s dress. Lovely. You can tell she feels really special too in it too.

7:42 – Robert Downey looks good, but I wish he had gone with black tie rather than blue. But I love his grooming. He made the effort, which is always nice.

7:48 – GERARD!!!!!!!!!!!!!! F-ck me. I need him. He needs to shave, but I would tear him up.

7:50 – Jason Bateman! He’s so lovely. He looks amazing too.

7:51 – Winslet looks good. Not great, but good. Jeff Bridges looks handsome.

7:53 – WTF is wrong with Miley’s posture? Seriously?

7:58 – Cameron Diaz looks great. I love her dress.

7:59 – Did La Seacrest call Chris Pine “Chris Klein”?

8:02 – Now I’m watching ABC. Penelope’s dress is amazing. Beautiful.

8:05 – Canalis tweaked her nips, right?

8:06 – Holy sh-t, Morgan Freeman is with his granddaughter/girlfriend!!! No, he’s not. He’s with his daughter.

8:13 – J.Lo’s dress is Armani. I owe all of you ten bucks.

8:15 – Matthew Broderick doesn’t give a sh-t about any of this. Poor SJP.

8:18 – I’m signing off from this thread. This was seriously one of the worst red carpets ever. SO SAD.

I don’t get this chick’s style. These are new photos of George Clooney and Elisabetta Canalis at the Up In the Air premiere at the International Rome Film Festival on Friday. George looks okay, I guess. But Elisabetta… she looks “off” somehow, doesn’t she? Like she’s aiming for both Cindy Crawford and Angelina Jolie with her styling. Maybe I’m just thinking of Angelina because of the tattoos, though. In any case, I think Elisabetta has weird style/makeup/hair people. I do think she’s a pretty girl, and I hope she improves throughout her relationship with Clooney. My guess is that she’s going to be wearing a lot of Armani (same as Sarah Larson) in the coming months.

Anyway, George Clooney has three films coming out this fall/winter/awards season. What’s strange is that they’re all coming out within a few months of each other, so if you’re already sick of George and Elisabetta Canalis, you’ll need to prepare yourself for permanent nausea. Last week, George was in London with Elisabetta, on promotional duty for The Fantastic Mr. Fox. This week he’s going to be promoting Up In The Air and Men Who Stare At Goats (which is the one I really want to see). As such, we have a new interview with George, via The Daily Mirror. I’m not sure if the Mirror actually sat down with George, because some of these quotes are old. But some of it sounds new, especially the part where George says everyone thinks he‘s 60 years old, which is hilarious:

It’s no wonder George is seen as a playboy – an image he is happy to poke fun at.

“I’m old,” he says with a laugh. “I’m kind of comfortable with getting older because it’s better than the other option, which is being dead. So I’ll take getting older. It’s an interesting thing to be able to watch yourself grow older on screen.”

“I was watching Up In The Air and I thought, ‘Jesus, who’s the old, grey-haired guy?’ And it was me. I never wear make-up for movies and now it’s starting to show.”

“It’s funny because earlier in my career I was working with a lot of actresses who were my age or older and most actors work with actresses who are considerably younger. So people always thought I was older anyway and I’ve been going through this thing with people thinking I’m about 60.”

He may be getting older, but George shows no signs of slowing down. At the moment, he is in London to promote three films, rom-com Up In The Air, kids’ favourite The Fantastic Mr Fox and a satire about the CIA called The Men Who Stare At Goats.

“Boy, I’ve got a lot of films here this week, a lot of running around,” he says, adding with another laugh, “And all three films are ones I don’t have to be embarrassed about – and that’s rare!”

When he can take a break from his hectic work schedule, he retreats to his Italian mansion on Lake Como to “recharge and have friends and family and people around”.
George says: “Some of the most fun dinners I’ve ever had have been there. There’s always 10 or 15 people and we have wild fun evenings of interesting people telling interesting stories. I relate to nothing but joy and happiness there – it’s been the greatest thing I’ve ever done for myself.”

George may be a generous host, but his guests have to put up with his elaborate pranks. His latest victim was Ocean’s 11 co-star Matt Damon, who visited over summer.

At the time Matt was trying to lose the 30lb he gained for The Informant. He was working out twice a day and eating only salads. So George hired a woman to surreptitiously take in the waistband of all Matt’s trousers every day by an eighth of an inch. “He couldn’t understand how he seemed to be gaining weight while he was trying so hard to lose it,” grins George.

His next victim will be Brad Pitt. “I’m working on a prank and I need some help,” he admits. “Something evil has to happen.”

The Men Who Stare At Goats, produced by George and his business partner Grant Heslov, is based on the supposedly true story of a US military unit who tried to use psychic powers to run through walls and kill goats simply by staring at them.

George says: “We made up stuff that we thought was funny, but the weirdest stuff in the film is the true stuff.”

“I’ve been lucky enough to do a few films that will last longer than an opening weekend, and those films are the ones I’m proud of,” he says, modestly. “You know, I have a few that I look back on and say, ‘Well, that worked’. And I’ve had some that didn’t really work, but I don’t mind that as long as I’m always trying to do stuff that’s pushing the envelope.”

But he is all too aware that he can only afford so many movies that don’t “work”. Despite his A-list status and huge influence in Hollywood, George still has to keep on the right side of the financiers and studio heads – the people who green light and provide the funding for his projects.

“I’m in the lucky position right now of them still letting me play with the toys, but I don’t know how long that will last,” he says. “So while they’re letting me, I’m going to keep trying to do these kind of movies and hope that some of them succeed.”

[From The Daily Mirror]

If I take away George’s skeezy personal life, I actually love who he is and what he represents in Hollywood. George got to the place in his career several years ago where he started making really interesting choices as an actor, director and producer. He is right about having hits as well as misses, but I give him credit for actually trying to make good, interesting films that challenge audiences. Sigh. I can’t wait for Men Who Stare At Goats. George plus Ewan McGregor plus Jeff Bridges plus goats equals film magic.

Images thanks to Fame Pictures .

It must be a cool existence to be Matthew McConaughey’s son. You have incredibly attractive parents. Lots of money. They’re pretty easy going. You get to chill with celebrities. And you know from birth that you’re probably going to be pretty damn hot when you grow up. Little Levi McConaughey has it made. And last night he made his first trip down the red carpet – in a car seat, but nonetheless. I bet it was a really nice car seat.

Matthew McConaughey’s month-old son Levi made his red carpet debut on Thursday. Along with his proud pop and mother Camila Alves, the tot attended a bash for Alves’ new handbag line, MUXO, at Kitson in L.A.

McConaughey, 38, walked straight through the red carpet, carrying the baby (who was nestled in a car seat covered with a plush yellow blanket) and took him inside. “[Levi] was gonna stay home, but then he said, ‘Dad, mom, I wanna go support mom’s purses!’” Matthew joked with Entertainment Tonight. “At 30 days old, he’s talking about stuff like that!”

In a two-part interview on CNN’s House Call with Dr. Sanjay Gupta (airing Aug. 9 and Aug. 16), McConaughey reveals that they took their son to a recent John Mellencamp concert. Dad says his son “is equipped to be around the sights and sounds of people.”

[From Us Weekly]

A John Mellencamp concert? Really? I wonder if they have a special baby pillow to commemorate “Baby’s first hearing loss.” I’m assuming they were in some kind of private box or something, otherwise I can’t think of many other things that could be more harmful to a new baby than a rock concert. And that whole thing about, “I wanna go support mom’s purses” – while utterly adorable – is going to get Levi a lot of hell on the playground. But he’s got a decent chance of growing up to look like his dad, so I’m sure he’ll forgive him the one embarrassing joke.

Here’s Matthew and Camila at the “Muzo” handbag launch Party at Kitson last night. Images thanks to Fame.