Remember how Ben Affleck talked about how he was going to be “Mr. Mom” to his three kids this summer while his wife, Jennifer Garner, was on set? He said “She’s got a couple of movies coming up. There’s going to be a little Mr. Mom action and I’m going to get back in the ring.” Well if Star is correct (and that’s a big IF) that’s no longer happening. They say that Garner plans to take the kids with her on set, at least for a couple of weeks, and she’s wondering what Ben will be up to when she’s away. I can see her bringing the kids, she seems like a hands-on mom who would really miss them if she was away. But I can also see Ben visiting a lot. So we’ll see. The paparazzi follow them so much that we’ll know by either the lack of photos, or the new photos on set. Here’s some of Star’s story:

Jennifer, 41, is worried sick that 40 year-old Ben might cheat on her. “Jen really doesn’t trust Ben,” states the insider. “She’s going to Cleveland for two weeks this month to begin shooting a new film. While she’s away, she’s pulling the kids out of school in Brentwood to be on set with her – and she’s worried about Ben being by himself…

“There was talk that Ben strayed with Blake [during filming of The Town],” continues the pal. “And he started talking to J.Lo again. His wife checks up on him all the time and looks through his phone…

“Ben is a good dad, but he’s becoming obsessed with work… It’s all about him, his friends and his career. Jen has decided to do fewer movies to make sure the marriage works…

“He still drinks and hangs out with friends a lot,” dishes the pal. “They are not 100 percent solid, like their image suggests.”

[From Star Magazine, print edition, May 20, 2013]

Even if Star made that up out of whole cloth, which is entirely possible, it has a ring of truth to it. We’ve been hearing these rumors about them for years. Plus every time Ben opens his mouth he confirms that his relationship is “work” and that he considers caring for the kids work. So I believe that Garner checks up on him and that their marriage isn’t as rosy as the photos would have us think. They’ve lasted though, and isn’t that the point Ben was making in his Oscar speech?

The Enquirer also has a story this week about the Garner-Afflecks. They say that they’re being courted for a reality show:

The Enquirer has learned that a Hollywood producer has big plans to convince the Oscar-winning actor/director and his beautiful wife to do a blockbuster reality show.

He aims to show how an a-list celebrity couple handles the trials and temptations of life in the showbiz fast lane. He also wants to reveal the secrets behind Ben and Jen’s eight-year marriage.

“It would be great for them to open up about their lives,” said the source. “It would help people understand why Ben said ‘marriage is hard work’ in his Oscar acceptance speech this year.”

[From The National Enquirer, print edition, May 20, 2013]

Yeah this isn’t going to happen. This is some guy’s pipe dream. These two have worked too hard on their images to risk that with a reality show. Even though Ben seems to risk their family image every time he does an interview.

These photos are from 4-28-13 of the family at a children’s running event in which Seraphina, 4, participated. The family was at Disneyland in Anaheim just this weekend. (Those photos linked just show Jennifer, but Ben was there too.) Credit: WENN.com

Last week we heard that Catherine Zeta-Jones had checked into a psychiatric facility for routine maintenance for her bipolar II disorder. Many people assumed that it was to adjust her medication, which can be difficult and stressful to do at home. The Daily Mail has a long article pointing to Catherine’s floundering career, saying that she’s having problems at home with her marriage, and claiming that things must be horrible for her if she’s checking into treatment. I don’t agree, but I’d like to talk about it. Here are some excerpts, with more at the source:

While the actress’s spokeswoman tried to play down the episode, there are fears that problems in her marriage to Douglas — who was said to have moved out of the couple’s New York home for a time last summer — and a string of film flops may have sparked a relapse in her condition.

It is the second time she has sought treatment: two years ago, she was admitted to the £770-a-day Silver Hill Hospital in Connecticut for five days because of the stress of coping with Douglas’s battle with advanced throat cancer.

Once the news broke, Catherine’s Los Angeles-based PR team went into overdrive. Her spokeswoman, Cece Yorke, issued a statement saying: ‘Catherine has proactively checked into a health-care facility. Previously, she has said she is committed to periodic care in order to manage her health in an optimum manner.’

According to her team, her 30-day ‘maintenance’ stay has been arranged so doctors can monitor her drugs and has ‘always been part of the plan’.

It is a claim that has been disputed by mental health professionals.

‘What her spokesman has said makes no sense at all,’ renowned Beverly Hills psychiatrist Dr Carole Lieberman told the Mail this week.

‘If there was nothing wrong and she was coping with life, she wouldn’t need to go into a hospital.

‘The idea that you can have this so-called maintenance programme is just not how it works. You can’t schedule it, like bringing your car in every six months. The reason patients are admitted to a psychiatric unit is because their condition is so serious and acute that they need to be in hospital.’

It isn’t clear exactly what has triggered this suspected relapse, but the Douglases — who are worth £185 million — have had their fair share of problems of late, any one of which could bring about understandable marital tensions…

They spoke out following claims in a U.S. magazine they had undergone a ‘hush-hush trial separation’.

The reports were prompted by claims that Fatal Attraction star Michael, 68, had briefly moved out of the couple’s main home, a stunning Thirties white mansion which they bought for £3.2 million in the upmarket enclave of Bedford, New York.

He was said to be living nearby in a converted barn owned by a multi-millionaire friend. It was claimed the marriage had buckled under the pressure of Michael’s cancer, for which he underwent aggressive chemotherapy and radiation treatment in 2010…

At around the time of the couple’s alleged split, Catherine’s friend Charlotte Church hinted at tensions in the marriage when she told chat-show host Graham Norton that Douglas had been angry over his wife’s boozy partying with the Welsh singer following a celebrity golf tournament.

‘We were singing and having a great time and Michael was really p***** off. He was fuming and went to bed early,’ she said.

Certainly, the couple’s relationship is far from conventional. As she laughed off the claims of problems, Catherine — who found fame in the Nineties in The Darling Buds Of May — let slip that they give each other ‘space’.

‘That’s why our marriage lasts,’ she insisted. That ‘space’ has involved them spending ‘me time’ apart from each other at their various homes around the world, which include a house on Bermuda overlooking the Atlantic, a rural home in Majorca, a vast apartment with views of Central Park in Manhattan and a mountain retreat near Quebec.

[From The Daily Mail]

I think it’s unfair for some random doctor to claim that she must be in an awful state to check into a facility. That might be true in general for people of average means, in certain countries, but I know people in Germany who have gone to 30 day inpatient treatment centers just to get their medication adjusted. When you run the risk of side effects and problems from discontinuing medication it’s probably best to do it in a monitored environment. She can afford the best of everything, so why not do it under supervision?

As for whether Catherine and Michael are having problems, I bet they are. It sounds like Catherine has been dropping subtle hints. But they’re sticking together for now, and that’s what matters. I really hope that they work it out and that she’s able to get her condition stabilized. They’ve gone through so much with Michael’s cancer and Catherine’s illness. I’m rooting for them.

These photos are from 4-22-13 and 2-24-13. Credit: WENN.com

Our last coverage on Blake Shelton and Miranda Lambert was a front-page, publicist-approved US Weekly article with a lot of quotes suggesting severe cracks in their less then two year marriage. Miranda admitted, on the record, that she snoops into Blake’s phone and reads his Twitter direct messages, adding “it just takes the question out of the marriage.” Other, unnamed sources told US that Miranda knew that Blake was “flirty” with other women but that she believed his assurances that he hasn’t cheated and that she’s standing by him. (Remember that Miranda half-admitted that she hooked up with Blake when he was married to his first wife, so she has reason to worry.)

Well that might not be for long, because Miranda and Blake are either about to split or they have already, depending on which tabloid you believe. Radar has the details for us:

“Despite being married, Miranda and Blake are like two ships passing in the night,” a source told the National Enquirer, who is reporting it’s splitsville for the once happy couple.

“Between their touring schedules and public appearances, they’re actually together only about 50 days a year. That’s no way to run a marriage — and suspicions and jealousies creep up between them.”

Speaking of jealousy, Star magazine is reporting that Miranda is green with envy over Blake’s decision to bring Sheryl Crow onto The Voice as his guest mentor.

“Miranda lit into Blake. She bawled and screamed that he’s heartless, and he yelled back that she needs to chill out and trust him,” a pal told the magazine.

“Sheryl’s been texting and calling Blake during off-hours, and Miranda is extremely annoyed.”

But as RadarOnline.com exclusively reported last week, it was Miranda who turned down the guest mentor gig on her hubby’s talent show!

“Blake originally wanted Miranda to be his celebrity mentor this season, and of course the producers of The Voice were all for it,” an insider revealed to Radar.

“While she had to turn it down because there would have been conflicts with her touring schedule, it still became the cause of a few major arguments between them.”

According to the Enquirer, the two have a difference of opinion of where they’d like to spend their time — Blake in LA and Miranda in Oklahoma — and the good looking 36-year-old being constantly surrounded by young beautiful singers isn’t helping matters.

[From Radar Online]

They don’t trust each other, they want to live in different cities, and they haven’t spent much time together. They’ve only been married two years and they don’t have any kids yet, so there’s that. I don’t see how they’re going to last, but at least they can fly to see each other whenever they have a moment free. Miranda should visit Blake unannounced sometimes so she can check up on him.

Blake and Miranda are shown on 3-20-13 and 2-11-12. Credit: FameFlynet and WENN.com

Well it looks like Jada Pinkett Smith and Will Smith aren’t really the committed couple having sex on a moment’s notice they tried to portray a few years ago. You can revisit those asinine moments here and here. That was in 2009 and 2010, and a lot can change in a relationship in three years. So now Will is probably off having hot sex with randoms instead of with Jada, and Jada is kind of talking around it.

In an interview with the Huffington Post earlier this month, Jada was asked if she and Will had an open relationship, and she didn’t say “no.” She also got really intense when she said that she told Will he could do what he wanted, only she sounded mad about it and then explained why she wasn’t going to ditch Will for cheating. At least that’s what I read into it. She said, in part, “I’ve always told Will, ‘You can do whatever you want as long as you can look at yourself in the mirror and be okay’… I don’t think it’s easy to be married to anyone. I think that you have to go into a relationship knowing, especially when you’re dedicating yourself to someone for the rest of your life, this is a life partnership… And so that’s something you can never take away.” That’s not a denial that they have an open relationship

Anyway Jada thought that she didn’t explain herself well enough in that interview, so she went on Facebook to try and clarify what she said and she made it way worse:

Open marriage?

Let me first say this, there are far more important things to talk about in regards to what is happening in the world than whether I have an open marriage or not. I am addressing this issue because a very important subject has been born from discussions about my statement that may be worthy of addressing.

The statement I made in regard to, “Will can do whatever he wants,” has illuminated the need to discuss the relationship between trust and love and how they co-exist.

Do we believe loving someone means owning them? Do we believe that ownership is the reason someone should “behave”? Do we believe that all the expectations, conditions, and underlying threats of “you better act right or else” keep one honest and true? Do we believe that we can have meaningful relationships with people who have not defined nor live by the integrity of his or her higher self? What of unconditional love? Or does love look like, feel like, and operate as enslavement? Do we believe that the more control we put on someone the safer we are? What of TRUST and LOVE?

Should we be married to individuals who can not be responsible for themselves and their families within their freedom? Should we be in relationships with individuals who we can not entrust to their own values, integrity, and LOVE…for us???

Here is how I will change my statement…Will and I BOTH can do WHATEVER we want, because we TRUST each other to do so. This does NOT mean we have an open relationship…this means we have a GROWN one.

Siempre,

J

[From Facebook via Bitten and Bound]

Oh give me a break with those “there’s a war going on, why are you interested in little old me” excuses. You know who did that? A bunch of celebrities, but dumbass Billy Bob Thornton is the first one who comes to mind. Jada is basically saying the same thing here that she did in the Huffpo interview, that they trust each other. Nowhere does she deny that either of them sleep with other people, and that’s their prerogative! If they have an understanding about it, good for them. But if Jada was so ok with that, why does she feel the need to keep justifying herself? She should have just let it slide after she said all that stuff in the Huffpo interview. As it is, she opened up the whole issue again. Maybe that’s what she wants though. Maybe this is her way of keeping Will on notice.

These photos are all from 4-3-13. Credit: FameFlynet

Remember when everyone was saying that Will Smith and Jada Pinkett-Smith, known for oversharing about their allegedly hot sex life, were about to divorce after over a dozen years of marriage? That was basically the whole second half of 2011, from August until at least early 2012, when Jada was said to have met with a divorce lawyer. Around that time, J.Lo and Marc Anthony also split, and rumor had it that Jada’s too-close relationship with Marc Anthony on the set of HawthoRNe was to blame. Will and Jada denied that they were having trouble, and stepped out together for some photo ops eventually, but it was clear something was going on.

Well Jada was interviewed by HuffPost Live recently and I’ll be damned if she didn’t get really pissed off when she was asked about rumors of her open marriage. She wasn’t mad at the interviewer, she got really intense when describing how she told Will he could “do whatever” he wanted as long as he could live with it. The subtext was that he shouldn’t be able to live with cheating on her, at least that’s how I saw it.

Here’s the video clip and some quotes are below (a longer video is on Huffington Post)

“I think people get that idea because Will and I are very relaxed with one another. I’ve always told Will, ‘You can do whatever you want as long as you can look at yourself in the mirror and be okay.’ Because at the end of the day, Will is his own man. I’m here as his partner, but he is his own man. He has to decide who he wants to be and that’s not for me to do for him. Or vice versa.”

“I don’t think it’s easy to be married to anyone. I think that you have to go into a relationship knowing, especially when you’re dedicating yourself to someone for the rest of your life, this is a life partnership … He’s my best friend. He’s been by my side through some of the most difficult parts of my life. And so that’s something you can never take away.”

[From Huffington Post via Starcasm]

She was hardcore when she was describing how she told Will he had to live with himself. I got the impression that Will cheated, it pissed her off incredibly, and she was like “that’s on you, a-hole.” It wasn’t some “whatever he does is ok with me” speech, it was “how can you live with yourself?” That’s not “relaxed.”

In terms of calling Will her life partner, this is similar to what she’s said in the past. In an interview with Essence last year she said “We’re not getting a divorce. Where am I going to go? That’s my boo. It’s like he’s another part of me.” So I get the impression that she’s in it for the long haul but that she’s not putting up with a lot of crap. Telling someone they can do whatever they want “as you can look at yourself in the mirror and be okay” is not the same as giving them carte blanche. She really cares about what Will is up to, but she’s not going to get rid of her partnership because of some side pieces.

Sidenote: I really like her hair like that (in the video and in the green skirt. On the red carpet it’s kind of cheap looking) The ombre curls suit her, and I’m not a fan of ombre hair.

Will and Jada Pinkett Smith are shown on the red carpet yesterday for Free Angela and all Political Prisoners, which they co-produced. (The trailer is here.) It’s a documentary about activist Angela Davis and her 1972 trial for murder and kidnapping. Davis had no known role in the crime apart from purchasing the guns that were used. The film is out in limited release tomorrow.

Jada and Angela Davis:

Photo credit: WENN.com and FameFlynet

The Enquirer has a new story about Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner that I hope is false. They throw out a bunch of reasons why the two are fighting, and add that they fought at a post Oscar party. They also have a photo of Jennifer whispering something to Ben at the Vanity Fair Oscar Party and Ben looking tense. It’s somewhat similar to the one above, except Ben is clenching his teeth more.

The story goes that Ben is not happy with the three kids he has and wants another boy, while Jennifer feels like she’s done and wants to get back to work. Also, Jennifer allegedly snapped at Ben during a post-Oscar party “what do you mean our marriage is work?” I could see her asking him that, I wondered after the Oscars if she told him off for disrespecting her during his acceptance speech. It’s kind of a no-brainer. (Go here if you’d like to read his comments, I’m assuming you’re familiar with them.) Here’s more, it’s all so overwrought:

Ben Affleck and his wife Jennifer Garner are said to be locked in a bitter battle over whether to have another baby – and The Enquirer has the shocking photo of their fight exploding in public!

According to a source close to the couple, Jennifer, 40, says her hands are full with their three little ones, but Ben is determined to add to their brood in hopes of having another boy.

“He knows that Jen’s time is running out, and if they don’t act now she might have regrets someday,” explained the source.

But Jennifer… is anxious to get back to work…

The Hollywood power couple came to a stand off over whether to grow their family, said the source. But the lingering resentment could be heard in the hunk’s Academy Award acceptance speech, when he talked about how much work it took to keep his marriage going.

Later, during a post-Oscar party at the Sunset Tower Hotel, the clash seemed to turn ugly.

“Jen grabbed Ben’s arm and read him the riot act,” said the source.

“She hissed, ‘What do you mean, our marriage is work?”

[From The National Enquirer, print edition, April 1, 2013]

Assuming the “fight” story is accurate, and I’m not sure it’s based on more than that photo, who wouldn’t ask their partner what they hell they meant if they told the whole world their marriage was work? Also, Ben may want more kids but he already has a boy so I’m not sure if he’s pressuring Jen to add another one. He’s said in interviews that it’s up to her. Ben brought all this scrutiny on himself though by calling his relationship work in his acceptance speech. That was a big no-no and he should have known better.

In cuter news, the Garner-Affleck’s youngest daughter, little Seraphina, just got an adorable bob cut. People Magazine has her side-by-side before and after photo. My kid is a boy so I don’t have to worry about hair stuff, but one of my mom friends spends 20 minutes combing through her daughter’s tangles after every bath. I bet this style is easier for everyone.

Also shown: Jennifer Garner out having dinner with friends at Giorgio Baldi restaurant in Santa Monica on Wednesday night. (3-20-13.) I’m trying to think of something nice to say about her outfit, but maybe it’s just the shoes that are throwing it off.

photo credit: WENN.com and Fame Flynet

These are photos of Jennifer Garner out with her adorable son, Samuel, on Tuesday. It’s rare that we see that sweet baby, who turned one just yesterday! She’s also shown out and about with her oldest daughter, Violet, yesterday. She changed into a different outfit at one point to go on a Starbucks run. This is the Jennifer we see so often, the mom just doing her thing, and it looks like everything is back to normal for her. She was all spruced up on Sunday for the Oscars of course, and was there supporting her husband, Ben Affleck, as she’s done all awards season. As you know, Ben took home best picture for Argo. In thanks for her support and loyalty Ben disrespected her, in my opinion. He paid her a backhanded compliment by admitting that their marriage was work. Of course we’ve already mentioned this but I haven’t had a chance to really discuss it and I wanted to.

This is what Ben said in his Oscar acceptance speech, in reference to his wife. (It’s at 6:50 in this video. Garner smiles in reaction, but does pull her head back and grimace a little like she’s wondering why he said that.)
“I want to thank my wife, I want thank you for working on our marriage for ten Christmases, it’s- uh, it’s- it’s good, it is work, but it’s the best kind of work, and, uh, there’s no one I’d rather work with.”

In an interview with Access Hollywood after the Academy Awards, Ben tried to explain his statement and just dug himself deeper, in my opinion. He said:
“All marriages, all relationships to a certain extent, require your work. They require work and investment. We work on it together, we try our best, nobody’s perfect. I would be lying to you if I said that either she or I were. She’s more perfect than I am, I can tell you that. We do our best. She’s committed. She’s as committed as I am. We work together, we have three great kids.”

Yes marriages are work, but that’s usually not the part you focus on during an Oscar acceptance speech! We’ve heard Ben say things like this in interviews about his marriage, it’s kind of appropriate for an interview, however personal it may seem. Those kind of lines get pulled out and dissected by bloggers, but they’re forgotten in the larger scheme of things, and the press moves on. An Oscar speech lives forever, and is not the place to admit cracks in your marriage. This guy is an Oscar-winning screenwriter. How hard would it have been for Ben just to give a pre-rehearsed line like “I love and admire you more every day” or “you inspire me to be a better person” or some other platitude? No, he had to get all honest and gritty and I just ended up feeling sorry for Garner, who clearly takes a lot of sh*t from him. This is fully on Ben, not her. The rest of his speech was really heartfelt and good, so I don’t get why he had to do that to her.

So do you think Jen told him off, or do you think she figured that’s just how Ben is? I think she probably said something to him gently and then let it go. That’s the impression I get of their dynamic.

We know that Garner did assert herself later in the night. She brought clippers with her to a party after the Oscars, the one at Craig’s where all the Academy Awards were sitting on a table and the guests were doing tequila shots. At one point during the night Ben went off and shaved off his beard. Small victories.

Oh and I just want to give a shout out to College Humor for their send-up of Ben’s Oscar speech.

Photo credit: FameFlynet and WENN.com

Star Magazine is reporting (via Radar Online) that married singer/reality star Nick Lachey spent an awfully long time hitting on a lovely brunette TV hostess who bears a mild resemblance to his wife, Vanessa Lachey. According to Star, Nick spent “hours heavily flirting” with a woman named Stuart Brazell at a party and was “begging” for her number. Nick and Vanessa have been married for just a year and a half and have a five month baby together. If this is true it’s bad news for them:

The proud papa of baby Camden was spotted recently spending hours heavily flirting with sexy TV personality Stuart Brazell during a star-studded pre-Grammys party at Paramount Studios, according to an exclusive report in the new issue of Star magazine.

“He wanted to know everything about her,” an witness dished to Star.

“You never would’ve guessed he’s married with a baby!”

Star reports that the eyewitness also claims the 98 Degrees singer was seen begging Stuart for her number!

For all the juicy details on Nick’s efforts to put the moves on Stuart pick up the latest issue of Star magazine — on newsstands Thursday.

[From Radar Online]

I really hope this isn’t true. I hope Nick was talking to this lady because they’re working on a project together or because they’re interested in collaborating or something. Her IMDB has her doing casting work for reality TV as well as several producing projects, so it’s entirely possible they were talking business. Plus, I just don’t see Nick as a cheater at all. I used to watch Newlyweds (don’t judge!) and he always seemed so solid to me. He’s a serial monogamist and I can’t imagine that he would cheat on Vanessa at all, especially with a new baby at home. This is Star stirring up sh*t where there is none – I hope! But I’ve also heard of the nicest, most seemingly family-oriented dudes getting strange on the side. (In real life, not just celebrity land.) Maybe I shouldn’t be so naive.

Nick is shown in the header photo on 2-8-13. Other photos from Twitter

It seems like there’s a constant stream of rumors of the demise of Khloe Kardashian and Lamar Odom’s marriage. I like Khloe enough and all, but I honestly didn’t expect her marriage to Lamar to last so long, especially after having witnessed how quickly they hooked up and made it official. I mean he’s in professional sports, there’s temptation around him constantly and I believe the stories that he regularly frequents strip clubs and goes to private rooms with the strippers, etc. You can’t just explain that away by claiming that he’s hanging out with his co-workers, he could easily beg off because he’s married (And famous, and because it’s sure to end up in the tabloids.) But these two are still together after over three years, and they want us to know about it. (Or Mama Kris does.) Khloe and Lamar have a new interview in US Weekly in which they gush about each other:

All right, let’s just get to it: Is there trouble on the home front?
KK: Everyone gets on your nerves sometimes. Yes, we bicker we’re both stubborn! But we make sure to never go to bed angry.
LO: And we say our prayers together. That helps. Plus, this girl is going to make you talk it out! Trust me.
KK: I believe in communication! I don’t believe in just saying, ‘I’m sorry.’ What are you sorry for? Let’s analyze this – and let’s not do this…

What else have you learned after three-plus years of marriage?
KK: The secret is that we always try to enjoy each other’s company. We’re inspired by my parents, who have been married for 22 years. They still act like newlyweds and they are genuinely good friends.
LO: Yeah. When you are good friends, that feeling doesn’t go away. We love each other so much.
KK: And sex is fun!
LO: Sex is great! It’s on a high level. It’s intense!
KK: OK, relax.
LO: [Laughs] OK.

Where do you see yourselves in 15 years?
LO: Just happy together.
KK: Definitely. When it’s the end of Lamar’s career, maybe he’ll play overseas a little. I think we’ll be living abroad.
LO: We’ll be tucked away in a little Italian village. Drinking wine. Naked. In a field full of daisies.
KK: Oh, my God. Stop. You’re dreaming!

[From US Weekly, print edition, February 18, 2013]

There’s more in the new US Magazine with Brandi and LeAnn on the cover if you’re interested. If you consider this on only a surface level it’s really sweet and they sound like a couple in love. If you think about all the rumors they’re trying to dispel, it sounds over the top, though, like they’re role playing for the press. (We’re so happy! We have great sex!) Lamar especially sounds like he’s overcompensating, like he’s trying to do his job and give good quotes but is overplaying it. Maybe he’s just like that though.

I’m reminded of what Mama Kris said on The View this week when asked about her own marital issues. She said she wanted to stage a photo op to prove that she wasn’t divorcing her husband, Bruce Jenner. Kris didn’t say anything else about Bruce, it was all about the photo op. That’s what comes to mind when I read this “we have great sex” interview from Khloe and Lamar. Appearances and public opinion are what drive this family, and they’re experts and steering the conversation in the way they want it to go. After Kim’s 72 day divorce they can’t afford to have another one. I mean Khloe and Lamar’s perfume is called “unbreakable”!

I do hope that Khloe and Lamar are ok though and that he’s curbed his stripper habit. I want them to be sweet together like this.

Photos are from 4-19-12 at the E! upfronts, credit: Hall/Pena, PacificCoastNews.com. They’re also shown on 4-23-12 at the opening of RYU Restaurant in NY. Credit: PRPhotos. Airport photos are from 6-19 and 6-20-12. Credit: FameFlynet

In case you’re not familiar with Jenelle Evans, she’s the 21 year-old Teen Mom 2 star with a very checkered past. She’s been arrested multiple times on various assault and drug charges, she lost custody of her three year-old son to her mother, she was in rehab for reported heroin abuse over Thanksgiving and she’s currently pregnant again. Jenelle believes that by being a competent mother to her second baby, she’ll be able to win back custody of her boy. She’s been bragging on Twitter about how she’s been sober for “months” and is ready to be a parent again. The father of Jenelle’s unborn baby is allegedly her current husband of just six weeks, a convicted felon named Courtland Rogers. Jenelle and Courtland have broken up and gotten back together twice now during their illustrious marriage, with the most recent breakup happening over the weekend.

In this latest saga in Jenelle’s all-too-public life, she used Twitter to accuse Courtland of cheating. (Keep in mind that this happened mere days after her pregnancy announcement.) Courtland admits he was out partying and drinking until 3am with his friends, but says he wasn’t cheating. If you’re interested in the details of that stupid story, you can view them on Radar. They basically got in a fight on Twitter. We’re going to focus on Courtland’s response to this story because he’s unintentionally hilarious.

As previously reported, Courtland Rogers left his pregnant wife home asleep on Sunday evening and hit up a bar with his buddies, and he tells Radar that his bad behavior has caused Jenelle to call a time out on their marriage of just six weeks.

“I f**ked up,” Courtland admits. “I got drunk as f**k and I went out and I left my beautiful pregnant wife at home.”

His disappearing act has wrecked what Jenelle thought was a happy marriage , and Courtland tells Radar she’s laying down the law.

“Jenelle said I need to straighten out and not drink and not go out and not do dumb stuff anymore,” he says. “She said she doesn’t want to be with someone who is messing up all the time.”

Meanwhile, the Teen Mom star is staying silent on the situation, having posted just one cryptic tweet on Monday: “I have to figure this out.”

And, Courtland says he’s afraid of what her decision will be!

“I’m not perfect and what Jenelle wants is for me to show her that I love her and improve myself, so I have to figure out how to do that,” he tells Radar. “I love her and I want her to work this out with me.

“I can’t wait to meet this baby and I want to be a great dad. I’ve learned how to be a dad from not being a dad to my other child all these past months and I want to show Jenelle and everyone else that I can be a good dad.”

[From Radar]

That last line is my favorite in this story. Listen to this genius’ reasoning “I’ve learned how to be a dad from not being a dad to my other child all these past months.” In Courtland’s mind, he can be a good dad once his second child is born because he’s already a bad dad and knows not to act like he currently does. There’s no plan for fixing things with his one year-old daughter from another woman, he’s just going to start all over again with this new kid and everything will be fine! Of course it will, just like his marriage with new wife Jenelle. By the way, Jenelle has no prenup with Courtland.