It has been said that once People Magazine calls you out, your CatFace is in trouble. So it is with Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher. As I wrote earlier, Star Magazine released their third cover story in a row about Ashton cheating on Demi with much younger club girls – one a hot young blonde at Madeo, the other a young Demi-type named Brittany Jones, who Ashton allegedly boned on his wife’s couch. I’m struggling to figure out if Demi’s people organized this People Magazine cover story to combat the Star stories, or whether People is calling out Demi and Ashton. Here’s the online excerpt:

As Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher prepare to celebrate their fifth wedding anniversary on Friday, they are weathering a storm of rumors regarding their relationship.

With tabloid allegations circulating that Kutcher, 32, cheated on Moore, 47, the couple are presenting a united front. On Sept. 18, Kutcher visited Moore on the Michigan set of her film The Reasonable Bunch. During the visit, a set source says the couple seemed as loving as ever: “She gushes over Ashton,” the source tells PEOPLE in this week’s cover story. “You could hear them laughing in her trailer.”

Privately, another source says, the couple are “angry” about the rumors and have instructed loved ones not to inquire: “Kind of a ‘don’t ask, don’t tell’ policy.”

But others are not so sure their much-scrutinized age difference hasn’t finally caught up to the couple.

“Somehow I thought it was going to come back to haunt them,” says an industry colleague. “He got married young and, as crass as this sounds, never seemed to have his fill.” Still, “they seemed super committed.”

[From People Magazine]

So… it doesn’t seem like Demi or Ashton are quoted in the story, but it does seem like they authorized some people to talk on their behalf about how in love they are. People seems to have gone one step further, though, and they got themselves some harsh quotes. My mom and I were talking about it last night – my mom’s opinion is that Ashton is gay and that Demi is going to leave him. My opinion is that Ashton is a player and that he’s probably always been unfaithful to Demi throughout the years, and that when Demi takes a good long look at her marriage, she’s going to leave his ass. I believe that Demi is strong enough to leave, and let’s hope she proves me right.

Meanwhile, Radar has an addendum to Star Magazine’s reporting about the affair. They make Brittney Jones sound like an old-fashioned starf-cker, in the vein of one of Tiger’s Ho-Jo’s waitresses:

Brittney Jones, the 21-year-old woman who claims she had a steamy one night stand with Ashton Kutcher, had her sights set on him for years, RadarOnline.com is reporting exclusively. A source close to Brittney told RadarOnline.com exclusively that Jones “has always been obsessed with Ashton” pre-dating the steamy affair with the married actor.

“She told me once that he was by far the number one celebrity she’d like to have sex with,” said the insider, who knows Jones extremely well. “And she is totally the type to do it.”

RadarOnline.com has also obtained some never-before-seen photos of Jones who has since hired a manager and publicist in the wake of the scandal. Star Magazine was first to report the Kutcher’s cheating scandal, revealing how Jones first met the actor, 32, in July at Lucky Strike Lanes in Hollywood. Kutcher was there with wife Demi Moore, 47, her daughter Rumer Willis and some friends.

According to Jones, Kutcher struck up a conversation with her and despite knowing he was there with his wife, she slipped him her number on a cocktail napkin as he was getting ready to go.

A few days later, Jones said the actor brought her back to the sprawling Hollywood mansion he shares with Moore. There she seduced her on the family couch while Moore was in Detroit shooting a movie.

“It was tender and nice,” she recalled, “not some random sex act.”

Kutcher and Moore, who are separated by a 15-year age gap, celebrate their fifth anniversary later this month. While most consider Moore to be one of the most beautiful women in the world, there’s no escaping the fact that Jones, 21, is half her age.

Earlier this month Moore recently posted a picture of herself in a sexy bikini on her Twitter page which sparked curiosity about the message she seemed to be sending: stay away from my man! For the record, Kutcher has publicly denied cheating. But the source who spoke to RadarOnline.com insisted Jones is telling the truth about her steamy affair with Kutcher.

“I believe she did it,” the insider told RadarOnline.com. “I’ve known Brittney for a while and her family is the same way. They’re all gold diggers… she probably took one look at Ashton and saw dollar signs.”

[From Radar]

Yeah. I believe Ashton and Brittany f-cked too. And I think Ashton should have known better.

People cover courtesy of CoverAwards.

Is it wrong that my first thought on hearing that Scary Spice Melanie B was splitting with her husband of a whopping three years, Stephen Belafonte, was “what took them so long?” Several British rags are reporting that the couple is divorcing, although Melanie B has yet to officially comment Stephen has maybe-confirmed that they’re heading in that direction. He’s quoted as supposedly saying “Dude, it’s over. Mel’s coming back to the U.K. soon – but I won’t be coming with her. There’s been problems lately. I don’t know what’s happening.” Only according to The Sun, which is as about as reliable as all the other sources for this story, they’re still together but they have “rows, often fuelled by drink.” I love how Brits phrase things. They make even drunken fights sound fancy. Here’s The Sun’s report, which seems to be true in light of the fact that these two were just papped at dinner. We’ll have more on that in a moment.

FRIENDS of pop star MEL B last night denied her husband’s claims that their marriage had collapsed.
Film producer STEPHEN BELAFONTE, 35, insisted: “It’s over.”

He said she was moving back alone to Britain from the US, adding: “There’s problems. I don’t know what’s happening.”

But a close pal of the 35-year-old ex-Spice Girl said both had been put under stress by fly-on-the-wall TV show The Mel B Project.

The friend added: “Stephen can be a drama queen. There have been lots of rows, often fuelled by drink. But they’ll try and work things out.”

[From The Sun]

Melanie and Stephen have no biological children together but have been coparenting Melanie’s two daughters from previous relationships, Angel Iris Brown, three and a half, from Mel’s drama-filled relationship with Eddie Murphy, and Phoenix Chi, 11, from Mel’s marriage to Dutch dancer Jimmy Gulzar, which ended in 2000.

Melanie has been tweeting a lot but she hasn’t said anything about these rumors, as Contact Music points out. She’s mostly tweeting about her performances. She also has a new reality show on the Style Network coming up called “Mel B: It’s a Scary World.” It premieres this Sunday and I guess the question is whether Melanie and Stephen have fallen victim to the reality show curse before their show has even aired. It looks like Melanie and Stephen are hanging in there, though, as they were just photographed out to dinner at celebrity hangout Katsuya in LA last night. So was this whole breakup story just some publicity for their show? I wouldn’t put it past them.

Photo credit: WENN.com. They’re also shown at the Creative Arts Emmy Awards last weekend.

Carrie Underwood bugs me a lot. She seems sweet on the surface and all, but there’s something super competitive about her, like she’ll cut you if you look at her wrong. Anyway Carrie recently got married, to Canadian hockey player Mike Fisher. I saw her wedding photos in People and it looked so beautiful, like a fairytale. Carrie bragged afterwards about how perfect and complete her life was, writing on her blog “I know how special these things are. There is nothing in the world that I could possibly ask for because you can’t add to perfection!” Maybe she’s just truly, genuinely happy and I should stop being such a cynic.

It looks like Carrie and Mike’s life is falling a little short of the perfection that they were hoping for. According to the National Enquirer, they can’t agree on where to live. Carrie has allegedly reneged on a promise to Mike that she would relocate to Ottawa, Canada where he’s from and works. She’s set on staying in Nashville to be closer to her work, and Mike isn’t having it.

“Reality is starting to set in, and it isn’t pretty. Mike is demanding that Carrie make good on her promise to move to Ottawa, Canada, where he’s based with his hockey team. But now Carrie is backtracking and refusing to leave her adopted hometown of Nashville.

After a lavish $1 million wedding in Georgia, the newlyweds honeymooned in Tahiti for eight days, and then spent another three days in California’s Napa Valley wine country, where their problems erupted in an explosive confrontation.

“Mike was going over renovation details for the 5,000-square foot house he’s building in West Carleton, Ottawa,” the insider divulged.

“He was talking about building a nursery when Carrie flew off the handle. She told Mike it was pointless to build space for a baby because she has no intention of living there.

“Carrie claimed she hadn’t thought the living plan through when she committed earlier. She told Mike that she’s most comfortable recording and writing in Nashville, and that her touring commitments make Nashville a more logical home base.

“Mike feels duped and raged that Carrie misled him. When Carrie said her mind was made up, Mike fired back ‘I’ll be living in Canada, whether you’re there or not!’”

“The conversation turned into a screaming match, and ended with Carrie in tears after locking herself in the bathroom.”

[From The National Enquirer, print edition, August 23, 2010]

The article goes on to say that Carrie just made some empty promises to Mike before the wedding. The couple is also allegedly trying for a baby and the Enquirer quotes a source as saying “Carrie is hoping that once she conceives, Mike will soften and relocate to Nashville, where she works and records.” Maybe that will work, or maybe Mike will resent the fact that Carrie is trying to have their family so far away from his job and where all his family lives. It sounds like she did promise him they could live there, only to change her mind once they made it legal.

Check out Carrie’s outfit on The Today Show late last month. And how many different ways can she show off her ring? These aren’t the only photos of her doing this.

Betty Confidential has the news that David Arquette, an executive producer on his wife Courteney Cox’s inexplicably hit show, Cougar Town, disagrees with her stunt casting. Courtney has been trying to woo her former Friends costars to make cameos on the show, but David thinks it’s a bad idea and has been trying to talk her out of it. It was thought that Jennifer Aniston might boost ratings with a guest appearance, but rumors have her fed up with television and vowing to stick to film. That’s probably how Arquette likes it, considering that he’s allegedly against any Friends stars on the show.

We heard a while ago that Cougar Town producers were thinking of changing the show’s name to “Friends and Neighbors,” which never happened and was eventually scrapped. Was Arquette behind that decision too?

Text below has mild spoilers for Cougar Town:

A reunion of Friends has caused a riff in Courteney Cox and David Arquette’s marriage. Although there won’t be a Friends reunion show, Courteney Cox is talking with her ex-cast members to appear on an episode of Cougar Town.

“David isn’t happy about it,” a source revealed to BettyConfidential exclusively. “But, Courteney has called Jen (Aniston), Matt (LeBlanc), David (Schwimmer) and Matthew (Perry) to appear on her show. David doesn’t’ think it’s a good idea– especially if they are all going to appear on one episode.”

He’s worried about the integrity of her series. Our source adds: “He told Courteney, ‘This is not Friends. This is Cougar Town.’ They kind of got into an argument about it during a staff meeting. He wasn’t happy when Courteney asked Lisa Kudrow to appear on their show last season, but Courteney won that battle.”

This time David isn’t backing down to his wife and it’s causing some serious bickering at home. “Now, he’s totally against the rest of the cast appearing on Cougar Town,” adds our source. He doesn’t have anything against the actors, but he thinks that was a part of her past and this is the future. Fans will only see Monica Gellar all over again when they watch the show, and he thinks Courteney needs to shake that image.”

That’s why David pushed her to do Dirt, our source claims. “She needed to play a character that is totally opposite of Monica”. But, it looks like Courteney will win this fight as well. She’s already come up with a great plot that will involve Matthew as a long-ago boyfriend, who she bumps into causing a stir in her relationship with Grayson (Josh Hopkins). And, Jen may play a bitchy woman who steps into Courteney’s real estate office looking for a home.

“Lisa Kudrow will also make an appearance, but she guest starred on the show last season as an angry dermatologist, so she won’t have such a major role.”

[From Betty Confidential]

This probably isn’t the only thing that Arquette and Cox are arguing about. We’ve heard rumors for some time that their marriage of 11 years is in trouble. There were affair rumors concerning Cox and a hot male co-star and Courteney admitted in a recent interview that she argues with David frequently and that they’ve “done couples therapy in the past.” I have to give her props for being honest, but it sounds like she’s bracing us for bad news, too. Adding more to the “trouble at home” rumors, David has been spotted out partying and can be seen in a paparazzi video from last week (below) drunkenly pontificating outside a club on the overturn of Prop 8. At least he had friends driving him.

Getting back to the “integrity” of Cox’s show and ensuring her character isn’t confused with Monica – does all of that even matter at this point? Cox needs to increase ratings and buzz for Cougar Town. Her last show bombed and she’s been hustling since Friends ended. She’s doing Scream IV for goodness sake. It’s not like any of that matters at this point.

Here are some amusing photos of Courteney on the set of Cougar Town with Busy Phillips. Credit: VAH/Fame Pictures. Courteney and David are shown at an event on 6/1/10. Credit: Juan Rico/Fame Pictures

Does anyone watch the new TNT show, Rizzoli & Isles? I started watching it because I was too lazy to flip the channel after The Closer, and because I like the two leads, Angie Harmon (Law & Order) and Sasha Alexander (NCIS). The show was pretty horrible the first few episodes, but I have high hopes that they’ll work out the kinks and that it will be a solid female-driven cop drama, worthy of its plum post-Closer timeslot. Sasha and Angie have a lot of girlish chemistry together, and now the show is starting to work with that more, so fingers crossed.

Anyway, since Angie Harmon left Law & Order, she’s done several things: she got married to football player Jason Sehorn, she had three adorable little girls, and she’s been working pretty steadily in various guest roles, lead roles, supporting roles, almost always in television. But she had yet to become the lead in her own major television series, which is kind of a shame – she has that rare quality on camera, where even though she’s really pretty, on camera she always seems tough and badass, never the wilting flower. Now she is the badass lead in Rizzoli & Isles, and things are starting to go awry – in her personal life. It seems that Jason isn’t thrilled that his wife of nine years is now a big television star. Caveman, coming through!

Success has been murder on Angie Harmon’s family life! Her TNT cop drama Rizzoli & Isles has quickly become a huge hit for the former Law & Order actress, but her career demands are wreaking havoc with her nine-year marriage to former football star Jason Sehorn, say sources.

“Angie’s marriage has always been one the strongest in Hollywood,” an insider told the Enquirer. “But the popularity of the show has put so much pressure on the relationship that it’s gone from rock-solid to rocky in a matter of weeks.”

Ever since Angie started working on the series, “Jason’s been forced to play Mr. Mom to their three young daughters,” said the insider.

While Jason loves his children, he never expected to become a full-time house-husband. But for now, Angie says she needs him to assume that role – which means that a lot of Jason’s time is scheduled for playtime, little girl style.

“It’s hilarious when you come in and see them all doing the tea party, and he can barely fit on the little chair,” Angie told a reporter.

But the insider noted: “It may be funny to Angie, but Jason’s not laughing.”

The ex-footballer is waiting anxiously for the college football season to resume so he can return to a TV gig doing commentary.

“Jason is struggling to get used to Angie being consumed by her hit series,” said the insider. “He’s chomping at the bit to get back to work himself.”

[From The National Enquirer, print edition]

First of all, I don’t really buy that this is the dynamic – Angie never really stopped working completely, she just took it down a notch when she was having babies and everything. I think Jason knew he was marrying a working actress, and if he’s been fine with it for nine years, what’s the big deal now? Of course, if the Enquirer is right, and he’s pissed, Jason totally needs to get a grip and, to be crude, sack up. Angie gave birth to three beautiful, healthy babies, they’re a great family, and mama wants to go back to work. It’s time for Dad to step up.

Angie and Jason at the 2010 Vanity Fair Oscars party, and on January 27, 2010. Credit: WENN. Angie & Sasha Alexander on July 3, 2010. Credit: Fame.

In my opinion, Courteney Cox and David Arquette are having some very real marriage problems. The gossip about Courteney’s alleged affair with her Cougar Town costar Brian Van Holt probably hasn’t helped – and the last time we checked in on David, he was allegedly acting very sad and strange (like, mid-life crisis strange) and defending his marriage cryptically. Now it’s Courteney’s turn. She’s the cover girl for the August issue of InStyle Magazine, and she gave a pretty good interview:

Public attention is usually focused on the love life of her BFF Jennifer Aniston, but Courteney Cox is now opening up about her own marriage.

In a remarkably candid InStyle interview – to which the Cougar Town star, 46, arrived minus her wedding ring – Cox admits that her 11-year union with David Arquette has had its ups and downs.

“We’ve done couples therapy in the past. We’re not lazy about our marriage,” Cox says in the magazine’s August issue, on newsstands Friday. “We have the same arguments we’ve had for years.”

Disagreements are something that exist in every marriage, and Cox says she doesn’t expect them to ever be fully resolved. “Some things just never change, and you should realize that the intriguing things you fall in love with will probably become the things that you don’t like,” she says, “and the very things that you’ll be talking about for the rest of your relationship.”

Luckily, their domestic issues don’t sound all that dramatic, and they have made some changes to suit their lives as a couple. “If we didn’t live together, David wouldn’t even notice if a lightbulb had burned out!” Cox says. “He collects things; I don’t. When we first lived together, I lived with [his] clown paintings, bobbleheads … I couldn’t do that now.”

The actress does cop to some fantasy world crushes on Zac Efron and Robert Pattinson, whom she calls “cute.” “How old is he? I saw one picture of him and he looked dangerous; I like it,” she says of the Twilight star, 24. “That’s a really pretty face. I might feel insecure around him.”

But her real-life love for Arquette – father of their 6-year-old daughter Coco – goes deeper. “One thing is, I let David be himself and he lets me be myself,” Cox says. “You have to make an effort to stay connected, and that’s something we work at.”

Courteney also talks about aging and Botox: “Aging gracefully is one thing, but trying to slow it down is another. Sometimes I use Botox. Compared to most, I use it very sparingly. One time I did too much, though. I feel weird if I can’t move my face, and that one time I overdid it, I felt trapped in my own skin.”

Courteney would never stop acting: “No—although there was a time when my dad thought I should get out. It was right before I got Friends, and I probably had a month to go before I was completely broke. At one point my dad called me and said, ‘You have always been a great salesman. I think it’s time you come home and sell swimming pools.’ I don’t think I would ever quit acting, but there are other things I am interested in. I wanted to be an architect, and I wish I knew more about landscaping. I think I’d be a good therapist too.”

[InStyle Magazine excerpts, courtesy of InStyle and People Magazine]

I’ve said it before privately to CB, and publicly on this site – I don’t think Courteney and David are going to make it very much longer, and I think Courteney is the one driving many of the problems. She sounds like the one who is fed up, annoyed, looking around for something better.

Oh, and the Botox stuff – well, at least she’s admitting it. But she’s delusional if she thinks her face is still moving. Whenever I catch a few minutes of Cougar Town, I wince every time Courteney tries to talk or move her face to form any kind of human emotion. She looks so f-cking jacked.

InStyle photos courtesy of InStyle online, cover courtesy of Courteney‘s fansite.

Kendra Wilkinson and her husband Hank are on the cover of Life & Style this week with a supposed story about how he got up close and personal with some professionals at a strip club. I question this report in light of the fact that Kendra’s book is out this week. It’s way too convenient for her to get a cover with a mild cheating scandal. This story normally wouldn’t even rate a sidebar on a cover, but Life & Style is running it front and center. The teaser article they sent us seems to reveal that there’s not much to this other than innuendo and the fact that Hank went to strip clubs twice while he was married.

Life & Style reveals exclusive details of Hank’s multiple nights out at strip clubs – once while Kendra was eight months pregnant

Life & Style can exclusively reveal that since learning about the existence of Kendra Wilkinson’s sex tape, her husband Hank Baskett has visited at least two strip clubs — once while his wife was eight months pregnant. An acquaintance of Hank’s, Carl Miller, tells Life & Style he accompanied Hank to Rick’s Cabaret in Houston on Nov. 28 and then to the King of Diamonds Gentleman’s Club in Miami in early February. Their first raunchy night out came on the eve of the Indianapolis Colts’ 35-27 victory against the Houston Texans.

“Hank went to the private VIP room with two girls,” Carl, Hank’s acquaintance, tells Life & Style. “Everyone knows what goes on in those rooms — I don’t need to spell out what happened.”

Kendra was at home and ready to pop during Hank’s first indiscretion, but his second dalliance happened right under her nose while in Miami for the Super Bowl in February. While Kendra was busy hosting a bash at Passion nightclub in the Hard Rock Hotel and doing a bikini photo shoot, Life & Style has learned that Hank went to a Diddy-sponsored party at the King of Diamonds Gentleman’s Club that weekend. While his rep denies that Hank attended the strip-club soiree, others insist he was there. One King of Diamonds dancer, Dolce, says Hank didn’t mind the amenities (including more than 40 VIP rooms) at what’s touted as the “world’s biggest strip club.”

“It was real insane,” Dolce, King of Diamonds dancer, tells Life & Style. “There were like 400 girls up in here. And Hank was here for sure.”

“We had girls here from out of town who came specifically for that weekend because they knew they’d make bank,” a second King of Diamonds performer tells Life & Style. “You put some of these girls in that situation, and what do you think is going to happen? It’s not supposed to happen up in here — if they catch you, they’ll kick you out — but that’s what private VIP rooms are for.”

“Hank loves strippers and strip clubs,” Carl Miller tells Life & Style. “And he doesn’t see anything wrong with it.”

[From Life & Style, received via e-mail]

I would not want my husband going to strip clubs or getting lap dances, and if I found out about it we would have a problem. It’s flirting with danger, but it’s not as bad as cheating and some guys see it as blowing off steam. We don’t know what happened in the VIP room with the two strippers although it looks bad for Hank. I don’t watch Kendra’s reality show, but these two seem solid and they’ve weathered the whole “sex tape” storm (that Kendra cashed in on and then tried to act embarrassed about). Two visits to strip clubs when one is a big party potentially isn’t that big of a deal. Hank is a professional athlete and his buddies are probably bugging him to go to strip clubs all the time. Kendra worked as a stripper, though and she knows what goes on. She’ll probably talk to Hank and he’ll say it was nothing and they’ll work it out.

Kendra is busily promoting her book, Sliding into Home. She explained on The Today Show yesterday (video below) that she used the baseball metaphor because she finally felt like she was “home” after her rough past. MSNBC has an excerpt from the book in which Kendra explains that she fell for Hugh Hefner because he made her feel good about herself and gave her opportunities. That excerpt doesn’t include the part where she describes her first sex session with Hef and a line of other willing bunnies, as covered in Star Magazine last week. Kathy Lee mentioned on the Today Show that the book includes “graphic detail” of life at the mansion, and I’ll pick it up and cover it here if there are any more salacious scenes.

Visit msnbc.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy

Back in April, there were some rumors flying around that Naomi Watts and Liev Schreiber were on the verge of splitting up. The reports at the time seemed to indicate that Liev was kind of douche, and that Naomi was tired of dealing with him. They have two young sons, and the whole thing was kind of sad, although both seemed to make an effort to deny that they were having problems, and they stayed together for the time being. I theorized at the time that if someone wanted to start a rumor about Schreiber and his Broadway costar Scarlett Johansson, I would be up for it. Anyway, long story short, the “impending breakup” rumors have started anew. The NYDN claims that Liev has flown to Tahiti to get some space while he considers their relationship.

When there is trouble in paradise, head to another one. That seems to be Liev Schreiber’s plan.

A source close to the actor says Schreiber took an early-morning flight yesterday out of Newark to Palm Beach, where he boarded a private plane to Tahiti for “about a week.”

Schreiber is traveling with friends, but the source says one purpose of the trip is to contemplate the state of his five-year relationship with Australian actress Naomi Watts, who will soon portray CIA spy Valerie Plame on the big screen in “Fair Game.”

According to the source, Schreiber, who has two sons with Watts, is technically “together” with the blond beauty, and the couple have appeared in public frequently, most recently at the Tony Awards and a Shakespeare in the Park gala.

But, the source adds, the two have not been getting along lately and Schreiber has decided he needs some space from tensions at home.

Schreiber, who stars alongside Angelina Jolie in the spy flick “Salt” next month, was scheduled to be in Cancun for the big-budget blockbuster’s press junket.

But our insider says the actor is skipping the publicity-go-round for some free time away from work and family, to “sort things out mentally.”

A rep for Schreiber calls our story “ridiculous,” saying: “Liev went on a diving trip with a group of friends, and his boys are too young to go.”

But isn’t that what nannies are for?

[From The New York Daily News]

Hm… I don’t know. I would like to think that they’re very solid, but I’m honestly surprised that they’ve made it work thus far. They’re two working actors, and they both work constantly. Back in April, there was a theory that Schreiber didn’t like being with someone more famous than him, but I don’t know. People know who he is, don’t they? I’ve always liked him as an actor too – and I find him sexy. But will I still like him if he dumps Naomi? Eh. His image might take a hit. But he’s never billed himself as Mr. Family-Friendly, so I think he’ll be okay.

Header: Liev and Naomi at the Tonys on June 13, 2010. Credit: WENN.

Last month, Star Magazine started the ball rolling by claiming that Courteney Cox was maybe, probably, kind-of, sort-of nailing her Cougar Town costar, Brian Van Holt. According to their sources, Brian and Courteney are super tight, and they often go out to dinner and drink lots of wine with each other. And then he walks her to her car, and brushes the hair out of her eyes, leaning in and whispers, “I don’t think you should drive.” And Courteney looks deep into his eyes and whispers, “Let’s get a room.” Seriously, I’m sure it played out like that.

Then, a few weeks ago, David Arquette took it upon himself to defend his marriage. It was strange, because unlike tabloid reports of infidelity for other celebrities, Courteney’s alleged affair didn’t really go mainstream. Just as well, because David’s defense of his marriage was kind of half-assed, and he made it sound like they have an open marriage, but only on Courteney’s side. Now the new issue of the Enquirer has an interesting piece about David’s somewhat bizarre, flirtatious, creepy, lonely dude antics at recent events:

In a truly bizarre career move, David Arquette has taken up deejaying on the Hollywood nightclub scene – and amazed pals say it’s part of a midlife crisis. David is also flirting like an out-of-control frat boy with women at the clubs, insiders reveal. Meanwhile, his wife Courteney is nowhere in sight.

Although David often plays the happy family man role to Courteney, he is starved for attention – and is making a spectacle of himself in public, say pals.

“David definitely seems like he’s going through a mid-life crisis and is on the prowl for attention from anyone who will give it to him,” said a friend. “He’s started deejaying at different Hollywood clubs such as Teddy’s and MyHouse as a second career, and he also plays trumpet alongside a professional record spinner. He calls his onstage performance ‘Good Times’ but he’s an absolutely terrible trumpet player, and it’s more annoying than anything else. To mix it up one night, he even brought some circus performers to a club, and that was a flop with the audience.”

“On top of the weird deejay antics, he acts like he’s 20 again – chatting up any girl who will give him the time of day.”

“David and Courtney have had a marriage full of bumps and obstacles – even seeking out marriage counseling from time to time. But David has never acted up this much.”

David has even been driving around LA during the day looking for women to talk to, says a female who recently encountered him. She said: “I was standing with some friends on a corner in West Hollywood and David pulled up about 20 feet before the stop sign and shouted, ‘Hey ladies’ like he was coming on to us. He may be happily married, but he comes across as this lonely, weird guy.”

David’s publicist denies he’s going through a midlife crisis.

[From The National Enquirer, print edition]

They stop short of accusing David of cheating on Courteney, but honestly, I’m not sure I would blame the guy – just because I’m thinking that Courtney is not only having an affair with Brian Van Holt, she’s probably also checked out of her marriage, emotionally and physically. Of course that’s just my theory. David has always seemed like “the sad clown” to me, much like Jim Carrey. And much like Carrey, I’ve always suspected that Arquette had something wrong with him chemically or psychologically. Jim always seems more tortured, while David comes across as rather immature and hyperactive, which he plays up out of insecurity or a need to be loved. Just the idea of David needing random women to just validate his existence with any kind of attention is rather heartbreaking, right?

Yesterday we heard a story out of British rag The Sun claiming to have insider information from a former bodyguard of Britney’s named “Fernando Flores.” Britney allegedly often walked around naked in full view of Flores and would regularly proposition him for sex. The Sun claims that Flores was fired for letting Britney leave the house without panties and that he planns to file a sexual harassment lawsuit. Normally I wouldn’t put much faith in The Sun as they’re not above making up stories, but this isn’t something new. We’ve seen plenty of pictures of Britney’s hooha, and another former bodyguard came forward in 2007 with tales of Britney’s drug use and very erratic behavior.

Adding more tabloid fodder to Britney’s woes, Star is reporting that Britney’s boyfriend/minder Jason Trawick has been cheating on her with another woman throughout their entire on/off relationship. They’ve been together since around March of last year. Like The Sun, Star isn’t the most reliable source. They’ve had a few scoops lately though and their track record is picking up. In this case, Star has the woman’s name and photo and even the supposed text messages that Trawick sent her. They claim that Trawick tried to convince the other woman, his former assistant at the William Morris agency, that his relationship with Britney was just business.

In the June 21 issue of Star, on sale now, we exclusively report that womanizer Jason has been carrying on a long-term affair with a stunning brunette behind the singer’s back! The other woman is actress and author Jessica Steindorff who met Jason in 2007, just before she briefly took a job as his personal assistant at top Los Angeles talent agency William Morris.

“Jason has been cheating on Britney with Jessica from the beginning of their relationship,” a close friend of Jessica’s reveals to Star. “He has deceived Britney with his lies for too long, and somebody needs to tell her the truth, even if it hurts.”

Although Jason’s three-year affair with Jessica — who declined to comment when we contacted her — cooled off when he started seeing Britney in May 2009, that didn’t last long. Soon they began rendezvousing for sex dates at his Bel Air home or her Hollywood apartment.

Even as Jason and Britney became a very public pair, he tried to convince Jessica it was all a sham. “He was always telling Jessica that he had broken up with Britney so it was OK that they were sleeping together,” the friend tells Star.

In our story, we also have secret emails exchanged between Jason and Jessica, including one from December in which Jason wrote: “Miss you. Best u left. Just wanted a kiss.”

Pick up the new Star today for the full story, including Jason and Jessica’s recent STD scare that “really freaked Jessica out” and how he warned her that a suspicious Britney may try to contact her.

[From Star]

Jezebel has details from the print edition of Star on the “STD scare” they mention. Here’s their recap: “Jason told Jessica that his relationship with Britney was a ‘public sham.’ Jason sent Jessica an email telling her to get tested for STDs but then wrote that ‘it was ingrown hairs.‘” That’s gross, but I’ve heard of guys freaking out like that over razor bumps, especially if they’ve never shaved down there before. You need to treat the area with antibiotic ointment afterwards.

So did Jason cheat on Britney or is the relationship just a business agreement arranged by Britney’s dad? Maybe in his mind it’s more of a business deal, but he’s probably sleeping with Britney. She thinks of Jason as her boyfriend and he reasons that he’s hanging around to make sure she’s ok, with benefits. Or they could have started out hot and heavy, but once things went sour he stayed on Papa Spears’ orders. It’s hard to know what goes on in their relationship, but I can believe that he has a girlfriend on the side. It’s not the first time we’ve heard that he was cheating. (Although those rumors were convincingly denied.)

This news will probably send Britney into a rage. She surely already feels trapped and betrayed by her loved ones and this will just make it worse. With all the stories about how Britney abuses Jason and is going off the rails, I’m surprised he’s even still around. Last month, Britney fired Jason as her agent, but put out a statement that they “decided to end their professional relationship and focus on their personal relationship.” To me, that looks like Jason is trying to cut ties with her. These two were spotted out on June first, though, and they’re still together for what it’s worth.