Madonna, the woman with an ego that knows no bounds, has declared herself “an Ambassador for Judaism.” I’m pretty sure most people consider her an ambassador for narcissistic personality disorder, but don’t ever say that to Madonna or her red string bracelet. Madonna took a trip to Israel for Rosh Hashanah, along with husband Guy Ritchie, Rosie O’Donnell, Demi Moore, Ashton Kutcher, and Donna Karan. If Ashton Kutcher doesn’t lend legitimacy to the stars’ love of Kabbala, I don’t know what does.

“Madonna and husband Guy Ritchie rang in the Jewish new year with Israeli President Shimon Peres and declared herself an ‘ambassador for Judaism,’ local newspapers reported Sunday. The singer arrived in Israel on Wednesday, the eve of Jewish new year, to attend a conference on Kabbalah, a form of Jewish mysticism.

The 49-year-old Material Girl met Peres at his Jerusalem residence on Saturday evening and the two exchanged gifts. Peres gifted Madonna with a lavishly bound copy of the Jewish Bible. She gave Peres a volume of The Book of Splendor, the guiding text of Kabbalah, inscribed ‘To Shimon Peres, the man I admire and love, Madonna,’ the Yediot Ahronot daily reported.

“‘You don’t know how popular the Book of Splendor is among Hollywood actors,’ Madonna told Peres, according to the Yediot. ‘Everyone I meet talks to me only about that. I am an ambassador for Judaism.’”

[From Us Weekly]

Um… yeah. Too many ways to mock. Can’t choose. Hurting brain. So let’s talk about people’s reactions in Israel. They’re not too pleased. Kabbala is only supposed to be taught to Jews. Madonna is not Jewish and has never converted. It’s also only supposed to be taught to strictly adherent Jews, generally Orthodox Jews, who have learned the Talmud backwards and forwards (so to speak… if you’re Jewish, you get the joke) and meticulously follow all of the commandments. So Madonna – and I’m guessing most of Hollywood – is pretty much out. A lot of rabbis have been pretty offended by her inclusion in Kabbala in general, and her flouting the rules of the religion. Her stupid quotes don’t help either.

“Orthodox teachers of Kabbala reacted with disdain Sunday to pop idol Madonna’s Rosh Hashana visit in Israel, during which she took part in a study session of Judaism’s most esoteric texts. ‘It is a known fact in Kabbala that impurity and evil are inherently attracted to sanctity,’ said a director of one of the most respected Kabbala yeshivot in Jerusalem who preferred that he and his institution remain anonymous.

“‘That’s why people of Hollywood, a place of iniquity and lasciviousness, are naturally attracted to the holiness of Kabbala.’ The director of the yeshiva said he was explaining a basic Kabbalistic concept according to which ‘sparks’ of holiness tightly connected to ‘shells’ of impurity are waiting to be let free. These ‘shells’ [klipot] are naturally attracted to their polar opposite – holiness.

“Rabbi Yitzhak Batzri, son of Jerusalem-based kabbalist David Batzri, head of the Shalom Yeshiva, said that it was forbidden to teach Kabbala to non-Jews such as Madonna.”

[From The Jerusalem Post]

Did he just call Madonna evil? I think he just called her evil! And I laughed and agreed. I think it’s great to be interested in other religions, and there’s a lot we all can learn by exploring them. But it’s incredibly important to be respectful of that religion’s rules. If Judaism strictly states that you have to be a strictly adherent Jew to read the kabbalist texts, than it’s important to respect that. I live in a Orthodox/Hassidic community in New York, and though I’m not Jewish, I can’t help but respect their piousness. It annoys me that I can’t shop on Saturdays… or this past week because of Rosh Hashana… and some other dates I never know about until I walk to the grocery store and find it’s closed… but it’s a nice place to live, and it’s interesting to see people constantly reading the Talmud on the subway instead of reading Hustler. I don’t quite understand why Madonna hasn’t converted, but it’s none of my business and she doesn’t have to explain her spirituality to the rest of us. I do think it’d be nice if she made it a little more personal and a little less commercial though.

Picture note by JayBird: Here’s Madonna’s exercising with her famous red string bracelet. Images thanks to PR Photos. Header image of Madonna and Guy Ritchie meeting Israeli President Shimon Peres in Jerusalem on Saturday. Images thanks to WENN.

So there’s this awards show called the Creative Arts Emmys. It has categories like “Outstanding Individual Achievement in Animation,” “Outstanding Costumes for a Variety/Music Program,” and “Outstanding Special Class Program” where they nominate other awards shows. Think of them as the Junior Emmys. I believe the show is held in a high school gymnasium’s empty swimming pool, or something close to that. They generally didn’t get a lot of publicity, until E! came around and had hours and hours of time available to devote to otherwise passed-over content. Hence the Creative Arts Emmys are now shown on TV a week after they actually take place. I have no idea why. Comedian Kathy Griffin won an award for “Outstanding Reality Program” for her show, “My Life on the D-List.” I haven’t seen the show and couldn’t give a flip about Kathy Griffin, but she gave an acceptance speech that really riled some people.

“‘Mel Gibson. Michael Richards. Isaiah Washington. Imus. Jerry Lewis. Every time a celebrity offends a segment of the population, he pays a price, in one way or another,’ said [Catholic League president Bill] Donohue in a Monday statement. ‘The question now is whether Kathy Griffin will pay a similar price for her outburst. And as we have learned, her verbal assault was calculated.’

“‘I guess hell froze over,’ Griffin told a receptive audience as she accepted her Emmy statuette. ‘A lot of people come up here and thank Jesus for this. He had nothing to do with this… suck it Jesus, this award is my God now.’

Donohue described Griffin’s remarks as a ‘kind of vulgar in-your-face brand of hate speech’ coming from a self-described ‘complete militant atheist,’ and pleaded with The Academy of Television Arts & Sciences’ chairman and CEO Dick Askin to help in condemning what she said.

“‘Kathy Griffin’s offensive remarks will not be part of the E! telecast on Saturday night,’ the Academy said in a Monday statement, according to The AP.

[From Reality TV World]

It’s pretty clear to me that Kathy Griffin wasn’t mocking Christianity, she was just mocking how important awards are to Hollywood, by joking (in a cutting manner… but hey, humor beyond formulaic jokes can be cutting) that her award is now her God. It doesn’t seem that she was mocking Jesus; she was mocking herself by acting like an award mattered more than anything else in the world. She could also be mocking the way so many celebrities suddenly thank God when they get an award, but never acknowledge religion at any other time. Everyone’s entitled to their opinion, but I really don’t think this was that offensive. Think of all the Jesus/nun/pope joke toys out there.

Picture note by JayBird: Here’s Kathy performing at the Seminole Hard Rock Hotel & Casino in Florida three weeks ago. Header image of Kathy at the 59th Annual Primetime Creative Arts Emmy Awards this past Saturday. Images thanks to PR Photos.

Jennifer Lopez has confirmed all the speculation that she wants to have a baby with husband Marc Anthony, but seems to be taking a more natural and laid-back approach to fertility than a lot of people. She said, “‘I love kids. I can’t wait to have a baby, believe me. I’m ready and so is Marc. We’re waiting for it to happen, but I guess it’ll happen when God wants it.’” That’s great that she’s not too worried about it or letting it get her down. A lot of people have speculated that the couple is having fertility problems, apparently based on the fact that they’ve been married three years, and Jennifer is 38 years old. A lot of people wait longer than that to have kids, and it’s not weird for women to have their first in the forties anymore. J-Lo also says she finds happiness in her three step-children, so it’s nice to know they haven’t been thrown by the wayside.

“Jennifer Lopez believes she will have a baby when God wants her to have one. The singer-and-actress admits she and husband Marc Anthony are desperate for children but doesn’t think they have any influence over when it will happen. Jennifer – who was raised a Catholic – told Grazia magazine, ‘I love kids. I can’t wait to have a baby, believe me. I’m ready and so is Marc. We’re waiting for it to happen, but I guess it’ll happen when God wants it.’”

“Although she doesn’t have children of her own, the 38-year-old star is enjoying being a stepmother to Marc’s three children from two previous relationships – Ariana, 14, Cristian, six and four-year-old Ryan. She revealed, ‘It’s a blessing having them as part of my family. I call them my three little angels.’ Jennifer has also credited Marc for making her a more rounded and mature individual.

“The ‘I’m Real’ singer who has been married twice before, and said, ‘These past years I’ve gained maturity and stability, which have bought new perspectives into my life. My priorities have taken a different lead – I mean, Marc is the most important thing in my life. He’s my partner, he’s the love of my life. He makes me a better person and I think I do the same for him. He gives me a balance which is hard to describe.’”

[From AZ Central]

I think the tabloids have made up a lot of those “Jennifer Lopez is devastated she can’t conceive” just like most of the “Jennifer Aniston is lonely and miserable without Brad Pitt” stories. They kind of assume they would feel that way in that position, so it’s probably safe that Jennifer Lopez is dying for babies and can’t think of anything else, and Jennifer Aniston is dying of sadness. They’re both successful career women…of varying talent, depending on your opinion. I know most people don’t like J-Lo… I’ve never been able to explain why, but I really like her. Marc Anthony scares the bejezus out of me, and makes me concerned that they’d have babies with shrunken heads, but other than that, it’s all good.

Picture note by Celebitchy: Marc Anthony and Jennifer Lopez are shown at the El Cantante LA Premiere on 7/31/07. Thanks to PRPhotos.

I wouldn’t call Gwen Stefani’s clothing trashy on any given day. Unusual, sometimes bizarre, perhaps, but she’s not constantly baring her nipples or anything. So I guess by American standards she’s pretty much the norm – not conservative, but not slutty, either. Well before performing in Muslim-majority Malaysia this past weekend, Gwen was faced with quite a backlash over her clothing, and had to agree to cover up.

“Stefani had promised to dress modestly after the 10,000-member National Union of Malaysian Muslim Students charged that her skimpy outfits and cheeky performances clashed with Islamic values. The opposition Pan-Malaysian Islamic Party also accused her of promoting promiscuity and corrupting the country’s youth.

“In an interview with Galaxie, a local entertainment magazine, Stefani said she had made many changes for Malaysia, calling it a “major sacrifice.”

“’I’ve been in the music industry for 20 years and this is the first time that I’m facing opposition from people who have misunderstood me,’ she was quoted as saying. ‘I’m not a bad girl,’ she said.”

“Media photographers weren’t allowed to take pictures for copyright reasons, and those attending the show had to leave their cameras outside. Most fans in the stadium said protesters had gone overboard with their criticism.

“‘I think they were making a big ho-ha for no reason. Even the local artists, they dress even much worse, much more indecent,’ said Denise Chan, a 15-year-old ethnic Chinese. Fans also said Stefani had shown respect for Malaysia’s cultural values. ‘All international artists have to dress down a bit to respect our religion,’ said Linda Yusof, 33, a Malay Muslim.

“Under government guidelines, a female artist must be covered from the top of her chest, including shoulders, to her knees. No jumping, shouting or throwing of objects onstage or at the audience is allowed. Performers also cannot hug or kiss, and their clothes must not have obscene or drug-related images or messages.

“Ethnic Malay Muslims form about 60% of Malaysia’s population of 26 million, with ethnic Chinese, who are Christians and Buddhists, making up 25%. Ethnic Indians, most of them Hindus, are about 10%”

[From USA Today]

I’m a big “When in Rome” type, so I’m glad Gwen was respectful of local customs. I don’t quite understand why it was a “major sacrifice.” It was a change. But then again I’m not a singer; maybe she felt it compromised her artistry or something. It also doesn’t really sound like she was necessarily “misunderstood.” Her clothing isn’t raunchy for America, but it is for Malaysia. It’s not culturally appropriate, and every country has different levels of tolerance. It sounds like she was pretty good about it if she dressed more conservatively than local performers. I really wish photographs had been released, I’m interested to see what she came up with.

Picture note by JayBird: Header image of Gwen performing live on her Sweet Escape at Acer Arena in Sydney. Does anyone else think she looks like the Peculiar Purple Pieman of Porcupine Peak? Thanks to WENN for the photos.

Zombie Gandhi … coming soon to a stadium near you

Also she would like to be an Un-dead John Lennon, Martin Luther King Jr. and Jesus. Satellite Radio really is changing the world not just making Howard Stern richer . These insight into Madonna’s role models, past and future, are perhaps the best example to date of how Sirius Radio is getting us the hot stuff:

Madonna has in the past styled herself after Marilyn Monroe and Eva Perón, but they’re not the ones she hopes to emulate.

“I want to be like Gandhi and Martin Luther King and John Lennon – but I want to stay alive,” the singer said during a Valentine’s Day interview on Sirius Satellite Radio.

via People Magazine

In fact Madonna’s recent tour was a real clue to this future Blonde ambition. The requisite controversy was all about her appearance on a cross, a big disco ball cross, crucified –just like Jesus – but without the spear in the side, dead part. Which if you read above is just where she likes the story to change up a little.

Defending the scene which featured images AIDS orphans in Africa, she says: “Jesus’s message was to love your neighbor as yourself, and these are people in need. I hope that people got that message.

“Of course some people thought shes just being controversal she’s just getting on a cross to piss people off, but that wasn’t my intention at all”

In a further informative aside Mrs Richie talked up the gay thing –cause the kitchen sink wasn’t available:

“Gay men are perfect men for girls who are tough. They’re not threatened by strong women, and they’re usually very in touch with their feelings and pay attention to details. I’ve always had an affinity with gay men.”

So to recap: Madonna wants to be an undead, pro-gay Gandhi/Jesus with a little Lennon and Luther King thrown in. Also please stop AIDS.

Well at least she doesn’t want to make any more movies.

pics via spaceport, Drowned Madonna, and Madonnalicious.

Picture Note by Celebitchy: Here are pictures from Madonna’s new H&M campaign, because they didn’t learn that people don’t want to look like Madonna the first time.

In related news Oxygen No Longer Free … Bush wins Nobel Peace Prize … Paris Hilton births new Jesus … Up officially moved to Down.

But seriously folks … in some truly hilarious although theologically and historically ignorant reporting the folks over at handbag write:

Naomi Campbell has dismissed rumours that she is planning to join a Brazilian religious group with links to witchcraft

The supermodel was linked to the Candomble faith, which was traditionally practised by African slaves in Brazil.

As if Naomi Campbell would need a religious justification for her blatantly evident witch-ness — Religions usually require faith … Campbell’s witch status is largely in the realm of scientific proof … like gravity … which she also uses for her own evil purposes when chucking bejeweled cell phone missiles at her cowering minions.

However, she has now said that just because she knows people who are involved with Candomble, that doesn’t make her a follower.

Demonstrably true as she also know several people who don’t beat their employees bloody and has shown no signs of following their example.

She told the New York Daily News: ‘I’m Church of England, Protestant. I was christened that.”

As if the Church of England didn’t have enough problems … what with Charles and Camilla and the questionable parentage of the less important ginger Prince …

Naomi, 36, did admit she uses prayer to try and calm her famous fiery temper.
She said: “I work on myself daily. I work on my programme of meditation and prayer and try to stick to it. It’s important to me.

(via Female First)

That’s pretty much the nail in the coffin on discussions about the efficacy of prayer … good we finally got that one settled.

Jennifer Hudson might be getting a lot of positive press for her kick ass role in Dreamgirls, but her recent statements are sure to cast a ashadow over all the positive buzz. She says that being gay is a sin, but it’s – you know, not any worse than other sin. She means like stealing and cheating on your wife, right? What bothers me is her opinion of course, which is antiquated and bigoted, but also that she talks about herself in the third person and uses the tired “I have gay friends” excuse. That’s so stupid:

As a Baptist who’s singing at circuit party, has Hudson reconciled her spiritual beliefs and her gay fan base? Does she support same-sex marriage?
“Nobody has ever asked me these questions,” she says.
“Everybody sins,” Hudson continues. “No sin is greater or different than the other. To each his own. If it don’t bother Jennifer, then Jennifer don’t mind. I don’t really even think about it because I don’t believe in judging people for what they do.”

When referencing themselves, lots of divas probably do that schizophrenic thing where they toggle between first and third person. But did Hudson just say that being gay is a sin?

“According to the way we’re taught, and what it says in the Bible — it is,” Hudson says.

If her answers didn’t already sound like fundamentalist clichés, Hudson then added, “I have plenty of gay friends.”

Her answers were surprising.

I had a hunch that Hudson was religious. But when it came to questions about the gay community, I had hoped she might emerge with a thoughtful response.

Because she’s a relatively new star, some may say it’s unfair that Hudson should be asked to comment on social issues. But another reporter at the roundtable pointed out that Hudson is a zaftig, dark-skinned woman. He asked Hudson if she feels a responsibility to represent young African-American women in a positive light.

“I do think it’s important to be a good role model,” she says. “It just occurred to me a few days ago that I might be a role model. I’m sure that’s a part that comes with the territory. And I want to make sure I represent them well. And give all females — no matter what age, what race — something to look up to.”
Part of “Dreamgirls” chronicles the rise of the Civil Rights movement. I tell Hudson that gay audiences might feel a connection because they’re still fighting for equal rights. And when it comes to same-sex issues, all sorts of people might look to Hudson to shed positive light.

“I feel we should all have our rights,” she says. “It shouldn’t concern everybody else what somebody’s personal life has going on.”

Hudson has said this before, so it’s not new news, but now that she’s getting so much press she should realize it’s time to stop talking about it.

It seems like she answered this question because she’s not media-savvy enough to know that she should keep her mouth shut and change the subject. She has a right to an opinion no matter how much it makes me shake my head and hope that her career will tank, but she should realize that it’s going to hurt her in Hollywood if she continues to talk about it openly.

She also says she “thinks the world of the gay community” and “if they love me, I must be fierce, honey.”

Do you think the gay community is going to overlook the fact that she says they’re all a bunch of sinners?

I was all “go Hudson,” yesterday, because even though I’ve heard this about her before I completely forgot about it. Now it’s not so easy to see her as this up and coming star that has earned her success.

Pictures and story from Faded Youth and ONTD.

Update: Maybe you guys are right that I’m just as bad as Hudson for condemning her for an opinion. It’s an emotional topic and I just couldn’t keep my mouth shut about it. I have gay family members though and it really annoys me when people say it’s somehow a sinful “lifestyle.”

I don’t really believe this at all, but I could see how other people would considering that this is the woman who proudly wore a vial of her lover’s blood around her neck.

There’s a story in the latest Life and Style that Angelina has forbid Brad from talking to his ex, Jennifer Aniston, after Aniston reached out to him to work together. Aniston was said to have talked to Gwyneth Paltrow while she was in London trying to make it seem as if her relationship with Vince Vaughn wasn’t completely over. Paltrow told Aniston how great it was to work with Pitt, and since Aniston’s career is shit now she was supposedly convinced to contact Brad to collaborate again through their Plan B production company.

It all smells like bullshit to me, but now there’s an hilarious story that Angelina is casting little creepy spells on Brad to keep him in her skinny clutches. The source is some voodoo expert who just knows this is happening:

The Mr and Mrs Smith stars reportedly turned into real-life couple during the film’s shooting – the period when Pitt was still married to Aniston. Later the actor dumped his wife for the puffy-lipped siren and went on to father her adopted kids. The stars also became proud parents of their first biological child, daughter Shilouh Nouvel Jolie-Pitt.

And according to a leading voodoo expert, Doctor Snake, Jolie has allegedly put a magical spell on Pitt to forbid him from rekindling his relationship with the former Friends beauty.

“That vial sounds suspiciously like a voodoo ‘mojo hand’, or magical charm”, said the author of cult best-seller “Voodoo Spellbook” to Softpedia.

Snake is skeptical that the charm is for warding off accidents, as voodoo spells using ingredients from bats are normally used as he says in the workings of a black magic love spell.
“One dark voodoo spell uses Bat’s Heart Incense, which is burnt to break up a love affair or marriage”, The Post Chronicle quoted the Doctor, as saying.

And there’s an earlier story from this same voodoo expert that says that’s how Angelina got Brad in the first place. I’m sure it had nothing to do with the fact that she’s drop dead gorgeous and smart.

Header image from MSN.

“I may not have the type of voice you like, but I can sing. You can’t take that away from me, ‘cause singing is a gift from God, and when people say I can’t sing, it’s kind of like insulting God.”

So when people say you’re ugly that’s ok, right, because you’re not God, just your voice is. Is that what you’re saying? (I would not bash Fergie if she had not talked shit about bloggers. Now she is fair game.)

Picture from Buttafaces.com

Jessica Alba was a sexy bride on the set of “The Fantastic Four 2.” She is seen wearing a form fitting strapless wedding dress and carrying a simple bouquet.

Alba has dissapointed male fans everywhere yet again by reasserting the fact that she’s not going to get naked on screen:

Alba also recently said she quit being a born again Christian because her pastor told her it was her fault guys hit on her:

So I guess we can blame Alba’s youth pastor for the fact that she won’t get nude on screen now. Someone should dig up that guy’s name so we can send him rude mail.

Pictures from novedades de famosas via JJB.