Lindsay Lohan has very strict requirements when it comes to dating. First, they must have drugs. Second, they must be willing to trade drugs for sex, since she’s normally broke. Third, they must be totally and completely skeezy. Luckily for Lindsay, ex-boyfriend Riley Giles completely fit the bill. The two hooked up at the posh Cirque Lodge rehab clinic in Utah, where it became readily apparent to everyone but Lindsay that Riley probably had nothing but dollar signs in his eyes. They broke up right after Thanksgiving, and not surprisingly, Riley cashed in within a month. He recently sold his story (and some slutty photos) to the always-upstanding tabloid News of the World. Here are a few delicious tidbits from his interview:

“Lindsay’s definitely a nymphomaniac. She’s wild in bed. We’d have sex a couple of times in the day and then go to it through the night.

“We once did it four times in a row straight. That was crazy. Lindsay was insatiable. She’d demand sex again and again. We’d go at it for hours. She’d have worn out most guys.”

[From News of the World]

Wow, thanks Riley. News of the World put that quote under the heading “Potent.” Kiss ass much? Riley, 24, says he met Lohan when she slipped the “ski-slope hunk” a note in rehab which asked for his number. According to Giles, Lindsay started calling him right away. I’d like to think he was flattering himself, but Lohan is all sorts of desperate and crazy, so I tend to believe it’s true.

“From that moment it was on… the chemistry between us was so strong we couldn’t help ourselves.” But once they left the Cirque Lodge— after 60 days on the program—they moved into a romantic log cabin in the nearby mountains. They locked themselves in and were at it like rabbits.

Riley revealed how Lindsay used orgasm after orgasm as a potent substitute for the huge chemical hits she was used to while partying. He explained: “When you orgasm, your endorphins shoot up and it becomes a massive natural high. If you have an addictive personality like Lindsay you need that to replace the highs you got from taking drugs all the time. Sex became a key part of her recovery. And we didn’t get out of bed for days. It was the perfect place—roaring fires with amazing views over the Sundance ski resort. The first time we had sex I couldn’t believe I was looking down at Lindsay Lohan naked. We’d barely gotten through the door when we just ripped each other’s clothes off. Lindsay is so hot. She has a great body. Her backside is fantastic, perfect, all plump and round. She has great curves but her belly is nice and flat and toned. We couldn’t get enough of each other.”

[From News of the World]

That’s all sorts of disgusting. I really don’t need to know Lindsay Lohan’s unique, messed-up, addiction-based psychological issues for having a lot of orgasms. In fact I really prefer to think of her as doing blow – and nothing else – all the time. She so skanky that even the thought of her having sex can give a person several previously undiscovered STDs.

Riley also claimed that Lindsay told him she loved him, and that he said it back – and apparently that’s quite the compliment to Lindsay, as he doesn’t say that to just anyone. Wise move dude. And I bet you really did love her with all your heart, considering how quick you were to sell her out. He’s also deeply concerned for her, and doesn’t think she’ll be able to maintain her sobriety with her “extremely addictive personality.” He also disclosed that Lindsay once almost accidentally killed herself after taking a lot of Xanax and alcohol to relax. She then passed out in a bathtub and was rescued in the nick of time by her assistant.

As important as maintaining her sobriety is, it seems to me that Lohan need to focus just as much on ridding her life of douche bags. That would include her mother, father, and 95% of her friends. And she should truly stick with that AA rule of not dating for at least a year. And because she’s Lindsay Lohan and tends to do everything to the extreme, she should probably just consider not dating at all. Ever. Because she’s clearly just dating users and publicity seekers. Daddy issues anyone?

Picture note by Jaybird: Header image of Lindsay leaving the Acona Day Spa in Santa Monica, CA, after spending the day running various errands and appointments. According to Riley Giles, she gets her hair done every single day, and has a spray-on tan twice a week. He’s diagnosed this behavior as unhealthy. I’d just call that lucky. Except that she also has to be Lindsay Lohan, which isn’t so lucky. Images thanks to Splash Photos.

Both The National Enquirer and sister publication Star Magazine are reporting that Lindsay Lohan is drinking again, with witnesses seeing her boozing at a party in Long Island over Thanksgiving with her then-boyfriend, Riley Giles. Star takes it a step further to quote a witness who claims she was begging for Xanax and cocaine from her friends, and then hooked up with a drug dealer. They also say she caught Riley having sex outside the party in the woods that night with a girl he just met! Lindsay was screaming and freaking out at Riley, and although she went home with him that night they broke up shortly afterwards.

“Almost as soon as she landed [in NY on November 18], she called up all her old friends and asked if they had any Xanax and blow [cocaine],” says her pal. “She really hounded them and begged!…

“Everyone I know said know, but she kept asking. She wanted them to come to her, but then she said she’d come to them. No one would do it….

“Finally, she met up with a drug deal named Chris,” says the source. “He’s well known in New York, and they spent some time together. Nothing good comes out of hanging with Chris.”

Another source confirms that Lindsay and Chris spent several house “behind closed doors” together. “She was with Chris, yeah,” says the insider. “She’s known him for a while.”

[From Star Magazine, print edition, December 17, 2007]

People say Lindsay was “out of her mind wasted,” and maybe it helped blunt the pain of being so publicly humiliated by getting cheated on at a party. But considering that she was in a room presumably alone with the drug dealer for hours, Riley might have been cheating on her as retaliation for cheating on him first. I’m surprised they didn’t stay together, considering how well-matched these two addicts are:

“Turns out this guy Riley, who must be an idiot, had taken some girl from the party into the woods and had sex with her,” explains the friend. “Who has sex in the outdoors in the freezing cold during a house party? And with his girlfriend inside?

“When Lindsay found out, she went ballistic. Everyone at the party watched her yell at Riley. She was crying and sobbing. It was a major scene.”

[From Star Magazine, print edition, December 17, 2007]

This is one of those rare cases where the insider quoted in a gossip rag does sound like an actual person because the quotes are in a unique voice and aren’t too salacious or perfect-sounding. The witness says that Lindsay was embarrassed after she freaked in front of everyone, but that she wouldn’t accept multiple offers for rides and wouldn’t take any food or water offered to her. She ended up leaving with Riley, who was also in no state to drive.

Several days later Lindsay was spotted with Heath Ledger and is said to have bumped uglies with him. She was also seen out with Stavros Niarchos, Paris Hilton’s fallback boyfriend, on November 28. Stavros has since briefly reunited with Paris, probably because Paris heard that he was out with Lindsay and decided to stake her claim again. Lindsay was said to have asked Stavros to make out with her last September in a bid to make her ex, Harry Morton, and Stavros’ perpetual ex, Paris Hilton, jealous. It sounds like she used this same tactic again after Ledger hit it and quit it. (Thanks to the Evil Beet for that euphemism.)

Lohan is shown leaving a hair salon on 12/8/07. Thanks to WENN for these pictures.

Oh greatest of sadnesses: Lindsay Lohan is single once again. Though Michael Lohan had called every major (and minor) news organization to report on his happy Thanksgiving with Lindsay and mentioned her lovely relationship with Riley Giles, it turns out the pair broke up right after the holiday. You know, a really big turkey dinner can do that to the best of us. You’re sitting there uncomfortably full, and you turn to Lindsay Lohan and realize she’s tanned to the exact same color of the turkey, and if she keeps doing that for a few more years her skin will have the same consistency. And suddenly, the fame and money doesn’t seem worth it, and you’re on the next flight back to Utah. But not before you make room for some pie. Because your turkey stomach may be full, but your sweet stomach still had a pie-shaped hole that needs to be filled. Am I projecting here?

Lindsay Lohan and Riley Giles, the 25-year-old snowboarder she met while seeking treatment at Utah’s Cirque Lodge, have ended their relationship, sources confirm to PEOPLE. “They’re over – they’ve broken up,” a source says. “They split after Thanksgiving weekend.” Adds another source: “She is concentrating on her life and her career.”

Lohan, 21, checked out of the exclusive Cirque Lodge on Oct. 5. She had been there since August. (The breakup was first reported by E! News.) A week after his daughter had left Cirque Lodge, Lindsay’s father, Michael Lohan, told PEOPLE about Giles: “He’s a great, great kid. If you met him, you’d like him.”

[From People]

People also mentions that Lindsay is heading back to the studio to record her second album. I’m not sure if that’s really the best way to further your career, considering how poorly the first album did. Though she’s actually got a decent voice – it’s not nearly as embarrassing as Paris Hilton or Nicole Richie singing.

On the career front, Lindsay is gearing up to head back to the studio to record an album for Universal Music Group’s Motown label, to be released next year. (She had previously recorded with the parent company’s Casablanca label.)

A label source tells PEOPLE that Lohan “is expected to start recording within the next two weeks.” In addition, Lohan is gearing up for a scheduled cameo on ABC’s Ugly Betty. Says her rep: “As we left it, she was in talks to do an arc on Ugly Betty, which she is a huge fan of. She’s hoping that the [writers’] strike ends soon. She’d love to get back to work.”

[From People]

Though a few reports of Lindsay trying to drink came in when she first left rehab, it seems that she’s actually been on the straight and narrow for the most part. Though her parents are world-class idiots, she’s reconnected with her father and remains close to her mother. The worst thing that’s been confirmed is spending too much time in the tanning booth. Hopefully she’ll stay out of random guys’ beds for a while and settle into her life for a bit.

Picture note by Jaybird: Here Lindsay shopping at American Apparel in Los Angeles yesterday. Images thanks to WENN.

Lindsay Lohan, who hasn’t relapsed yet partially thanks to her strict handlers, has been hanging out with a 25 year-old snowboarder with a lengthy rap sheet named Riley Giles. Giles dumped his last girlfriend, Breanna Tierney, by SMS, texting her that he “needed a break” and eventually confessing to screwing Lohan in one of the stairwells at the rehab where they met. Tierney says that she was engaged to Giles, and that he gave her a cubic zirconia ring that she found out was fake after some of the stones fell out. Giles claims that he broke up with Tierney before hooking up with Lohan and that he was never engaged to her.

So Giles seems the type who is willing to get engaged, but is all too ready to pretend it never happened when it becomes inconvenient for him. This week’s Star Magazine is reporting that Lohan got all worried that she was pregnant when she was a few days late, and that Giles stepped up to pop the question:

Just when Lindsay Lohan thought she was back on track after finally getting sober, the actress got a major shock that could have threatened it all: According to a source, Lindsay was days “late” and feared she was pregnant with boyfriend Riley Giles’ baby.

“Lindsay was terrified,” the source tells Star. “She’s also gained weight, and she started worrying that it was from being pregnant.”

And while having a child with someone she loves is something that Lindsay has always dreamed about, it’s not the right time, says the source. “She just figured out how to get sober - she’s certainly not ready to be responsible for a child now!”

But when Lindsay, 21, broke down and told Riley she thought she might be pregnant, his reaction was not quite what she expected. “He was actually pretty excited,” says the source. “And he did was he thought was right and proposed on the spot.”

Lindsay’s response? “It literally took her breath away,” says the source. “She was touched, but she knew it was not the right thing to do and turned him down. She told him that she cares for him deeply, but they weren’t ready to get married. Riley totally understood.”

A few days later, Lindsay’s fears were put to rest when she finally got her period.

[From Star Magazine, print edition, November 12, 2007]

You know that Giles was just excited that he was closer than ever at his chance to get his grubby hands on Lohan’s dwindling fortune. Star reports that Lohan’s friends are warning her about Giles and calling him “creepy” and a “jerk, and an all-around bum.” He sounds just like her speed, and I hope they do get married as it will make their flame-out that much more significant. Lohan was probably hoping to be pregnant so that she could up her star factor like Nicole Richie. It would also significantly increase the amount she could charge the paparazzi for exclusive pictures.

Opportunistic Giles is said to have given paparazzi a talking-to as they were waiting for Lohan to emerge with new extensions from Ken Paves’ salon. TMZ is vague, but makes it sound like he told them to be respectful towards her, and that it worked.

Here’s Lohan with cupcakes yesterday and out with Giles the night before. The photo agency Splash has the entire breakdown of her Sunday, which predictably involved shopping and eating out, but I couldn’t give a shit.

Lindsay Lohan’s new boyfriend, snowboarder Riley Giles, who is either 24 or 25 depending on who you believe, has a rap sheet that rivals careless Lindsays. He was on probation in Utah for forging a Xanax prescription, and was arrested for DUI in Vegas in May of this year. Since Giles failed to tell his Utah probation officer that he was busted for DUI in another state he could be facing jail time. What’s more is that his then-fiance, Breanna Tierney, was injured in the accident that got him arrested for DUI and that makes it more jail-worthy:

“Riley failed to inform his Utah probation officer about his felony arrest in Las Vegas,” confirmed an insider at the Third District Court in Utah.

“It was brought to our attention after The Enquirer article came out last week. In the state of Utah, DWI with an accident automatically enhances the charges. We also understand that a passenger was involved and injured, and if that’s true, the judge could send Mr. Giles to jail.

“I’ve seen probation violations far less than Mr. Giles’ offenses result in jail time.”

[From The National Enquirer, print edition, November 5, 2007]

I love when celebrities date no-name people who are con artists and/or have serious legal trouble. It brings a fresh wind of gossip to the otherwise limited and stale field of celebrity fuck ups.

Lindsay is legally obligated to serve just one day in jail by January 18, 2008, to pay her debt to society for the dangerous drunken car chase she undertook just months after another drunken car crash. Maybe she’ll lose her rehab boyfriend to jail since she doesn’t have to serve adequate time for her offenses. It only seems fitting, but will undoubtedly be far less painful to Lindsay than having to do the time herself.

Here’s Lohan and Giles not looking drunk or high or anything last night at Il Sole. Thanks to WENN for these pictures.

Lindsay Lohan’s new boyfriend, a 24 year-old snowboarder who rose to instant notoriety when squiring the drama queen around Sundance, Utah, had a fiance he unceremoniously dumped shortly after he started fooling around with Lohan.

Breanna Tierney told the National Enquirer that she met Lohan at an AA meeting she attended with her fiance, and that Lohan was overly nice to her and tried to suck up, complimenting her hair and clothing. She had lived with her fiance Riley Van Giles for three years at that point and was immediately suspicious of how fake nice Lohan was acting towards her.

Yesterday the NY Daily News reported that jilted fiance Bree’s mother told US Weekly that Riley broke up with her daughter using the old passive aggressive method of not returning her phone calls, but by Bree’s account it was worse than that. Riley texted her that he “needed a break” and eventually confessed that he’d screwed Lohan in one of the stairwells at rehab:

“I loved Riley and Lindsay stole him. I met her at a meeting while they were still patients at Cirque, and I just knew something was up.

“She came into the meeting with Riley, and she comes over and sits next to me, being overly nice. She was complimenting me on my hair and trying to be my friend. It didn’t seem sincere at all.

“A few days later, I get a text message from Riley telling me he wanted to ‘take a break.’ I knew instantly it was because of Lindsay.”

The distraught 22-year-old — who supported Riley through numerous busts and his struggle with drug addiction — says he got on one knee and proposed to her almost three years ago.

“I’ve stuck by Riley through the good and the bad,” Breanna told The ENQUIRER. “We lived together for three years and planned on being together forever.

“But when he finally confessed to me that he had sex with Lindsay in one of the stairwells at Cirque — that was it, we were done.”

[From The National Enquirer]

Plus Riley was so cheap that he gave Bree a cubic zirconia engagement ring and acted like it was a diamond. She brought it to the jeweler to replace some “diamonds” that had fallen out and was told it was a fake.

Meanwhile Lindsay and Riley have gone to In Touch to tell their version of the story, which is of course more favorable to Riley. They claim that Riley had broken up with Bree a week before they hooked up in rehab, and that he was never engaged to her. Riley claims he was only with Bree for two years, not three:

“We started out as friends,” explains Lindsay, who sat down for an exclusive interview with In Touch in Utah. “We met about two months ago while doing activities at Cirque. We both enjoyed rock climbing,” she says. Their romance started slowly, says Lindsay, 21. “We waited until we were both out of treatment because it made more sense.”

Riley, 25, a professional snowboarder who is remaining in Utah, had been dating a girl named Bree Tierney when he met Lindsay, but he denies that Lindsay caused their split. “I broke up with Bree a week before I started dating Lindsay,” he told In Touch. “We had dated for almost two years, but it’s not like we were engaged or anything.”

[From In Touch]

Lohan, who hasn’t been seen out at a bar or club in the week she’s been back in LA, says she’ll continue the long distance relationship that we’re all betting against, and that she’ll “probably go to Utah on a weekend and he will hopefully come to visit me in LA.”

And Riley wasn’t in rehab for nothing. Yesterday two mug shots of the guy were released. It turns out he has a rap sheet that includes forging prescriptions and DUI, for which he spent 10 days in jail. He’s perfect for Lindsay, and it’s so convincing when they join forces to lie to the tabloids. I give it two more months before he kicks Lohan to the curb, realizing that the fame and money just aren’t worth the hassle. That’s about as long as Harry Morton lasted, but he did get a lot of free publicity for his taco chain out of the deal. Maybe Riley will come away with a lucrative endorsement contract.

Note: The NY Daily News reported yesterday that Riley is 25, while The National Enquirer has his age at 24. It doesn’t make a big difference, I just wanted to point it out in case you noticed.

Lohan is shown leaving a dance studio carrying CDs on Tuesday in the image accessible below and after getting her hair done at Ken Pave’s salon in the header photo. Thanks to Splash News.

Thanks to The National Enquirer and In Touch for the two inset photos.