This story’s title probably sounds a lot worse than the actual text from Enquirer. They claim to have a source who says Robert Downey Jr. is like a little puppy with his overbearing wife, Susan. Once the story gets rolling though, it becomes clear that Susan is only using her wifely influence to keep Robert on the straight and narrow as a recovering drug addict. I believe this story contains a lot of truth. I also think that Robert needs a “pushy” woman in his life to lay down the law and let him know exactly what will happen if he slips up and ends up in some motel with his face in a pile of blow like Tony Montana in Scarface. Here’s the roundabout take from the Enquirer:

Iron Man 3 star Robert Downey Jr. might be a superhero at work, but back home it’s his wife Susan who rules the roost with an iron fist.

Insiders say she’s so determined to keep her once-troubled hubby on the straight and narrow that she’s laid down the law in their California homes — a $13 million mansion in Malibu and beach house in Venice — and Robert is more than happy to oblige. “Bob hears and obeys,” says a pal. “He credits Susan with his success at staying sober and he totally trusts her judgment.”

Robert, 48, and Susan, 39, a noted executive producer, married in 2005 and have a 16-month-old son, Exton. Before they met, Robert’s life was ruled by his addictions. He was arrested on drug charges multiple times, made several attempts at rehab, and ultimately spent a year in jail for violating probation.

“He’s always credited Susan for helping him finally kick his drug habit,” said the pal. “He knows the worst thing about slipping up would be disappointing her — so he tries not to.”

According to the source, Robert happily does his share of domestic duties to keep their household the way Susan likes it. “Bob has no problem cooking up a meal if Susan’s stuck at work,” the pal revealed. “He’ll go all out too. He’ll put the baby to bed and then set up the table with candles and flowers to welcome her home.”

Susan is so focused on keeping her husband sober, adds the pal, that she’s even banned some of his friends from their home — including Transformers star Shia LaBeouf, who allegedly had a few too many drinks at a party and was hitting on other guests.

“Susan has a one-strike policy,” noted the pal. “She’s not the sort of person you’d want to mess with. She’s a tough film executive, and she runs her home the same way she does her business ventures — efficiently. I wouldn’t go so far as to say Bob’s completely under her thumb, but he certainly does what she says.”

[From Enquirer, print edition, June 23, 2013]

I think that’s a hilarious detail about Shia LaBeouf, who really seems like the sloppy type who can’t hold his liquor and starts throwing punches before you know it. Besides the dangerous aspect of having a heavy drinker around RDJ, I’m sure Susan isn’t impressed by Shia’s new habit of publishing private emails on the internet. No big loss.

Back to the main story though — I don’t see any problem at all with Susan ruling “with an iron fist” if it keeps RDJ out of trouble, and clearly he is grateful for her efforts in doing so and very happy in the marriage in general. RDJ needs Susan, and we need RDJ doing his thing on the big screen, so this is all good.

Photos courtesy of Fame/Flynet

Gwyneth Paltrow’s Goop Butt ruled the red carpet for the LA premiere of Iron Man 3 last night, but some people still tried to get attention. Like, for instance, the actual star of Iron Man, Robert Downey Jr. RDJ walked the red carpet with his wife Susan Downey. And when I say “walked” I mean “he couldn’t keep his hands off of her.” Susan is so lucky.

There were other hot dudes at the premiere too, like Guy Pearce! I love Guy, but he’s looking pretty rough-and-tumble here.

Don(g) Cheadle, with his undercover assets.

Here’s Bella Thorne in Katie Ermilio Spring 2013. I don’t really know who she is, so this it only notable to me because OMG that dress is horrible.

Jamie Alexander in a really budget looking dress… but I think the color is probably “on trend” because I’ve been seeing shades of goldenrod everywhere lately.

Kat Dennings… everyone knows her for her boobs, so it’s kind of disappointing to see her covered-up, although I understand that she probably doesn’t want to just be “the girl with the huge rack.” Still, if she wanted to cover up, she could have found a cuter dress, right?

Rebecca Hall in Prada Fall 2013. Much better than her appearance at the UK premiere.

Photos courtesy of WENN & Fame/Flynet.

Here are some photos from last night’s Iron Man 3 UK premiere. Apparently, Gwyneth Paltrow thought the whole red carpet thing was terribly gauche and peasanty, so she didn’t even bother showing up to support her true hometown (London). In her absence, everyone is focusing on Rebecca Hall who, honest to God, I didn’t even realize was in Iron Man 3. You may remember Rebecca from her roles in Vicky Christina Barcelona or The Town, or from the still-present rumors that she is the reason why Sam Mendes and Kate Winslet divorced. I thought for sure Rebecca’s absolutely terrible and unflattering jumpsuit was Stella McCartney (doesn’t it LOOK like Stella?) but it’s Lanvin. It’s still awful. It makes her butt look like a pancake! The whole design is just ghastly.

I’m also including photos of Robert Downey Jr. and his wife Susan Downey (a powerful producer in her own right). I love the way RDJ and Susan pose together. He always looks like Susan is his whole world. It’s amazing. What else? There’s an appearance by Sir Ben Kingsley, who plays the villain in this film. And there’s Don(g) Cheadle, who is still playing James Rhodes after Terrance Howard wanted too much money for the sequel.

Sigh… I miss Gwyneth. I can’t believe I’m saying that, but I really do miss her on this carpet. The Mail says Goop flew (the coop) to Paris on Wednesday because she found the promotional tour so exhausting. One simply must unwind in Paris!

Photos courtesy of WENN.

Robert Downey Jr. covers the May issue of GQ, all to promote Iron Man 3. Considering there’s no Gwyneth Paltrow gumming up the works, I LOVE this photoshoot – you can see the Peggy Sirota photoshoot here – there’s one photo in particular where RDJ has his pinkie in his mouth that is SO SEXY. Unf. As for the interview (you can read the full piece here), RDJ comes across as confident, even boastful and almost arrogant and full of himself. Has he earned it? I think he’s earned it. Some highlights:

Robert Downey Jr. on his acting abilities and that of the current generation of actors: “I’m probably one of the best. …But it’s not that big a deal. It’s not like this is the greatest swath or generation of actors that has ever come down the pike.”

On his being a regular guy: “Nothing pleases me more than when somebody who was awe-inspired to be working with me realizes I’m just another schmuck that they’re bored of hanging out with on a set. I love that moment. I like it when that persistent illusion is smashed.”

On the inevitability of his winning an Oscar: “I, personally, would be shocked if we went to the end of the tape now and I didn’t have at least one. …Because I’m young enough, and I’m running down being occupied with these kind of genre movies, close enough. Even the next thing we’re doing with [my wife], I’m so confident about it. It’s the best script the studio has; it’s the best thing I’ve read in years. You know, honestly, my real answer to that is: I don’t care. I used to think I cared, and I couldn’t care less. Now, I’m not saying I wouldn’t get a little choked up, but it is amazing to see how people are literally hyperventilating when they get up there, because they have such an attachment to this outcome. I mean, it’s not like we’re at the f–king Olympics or something. …Look, even if I don’t get one directly, eventually they’re just going to have to give me one when I get old. So no matter how you slice it, I’m getting one.”

On the success of Iron Man and The Avengers: Downey has taken pride in being deeply involved in every stage of the solo Iron Man movies, but for The Avengers he fitted into Joss Whedon’s wider vision. “I really just showed up, hit my marks,” he says. “Joss would write some lines or I would come up with a line. It was very easy—it was so easy I didn’t see how it could work.”

On how much money he made off of The Avengers: Whatever contract Downey signed when he agreed to appear in multiple movies as Iron Man allowed him a share of The Avengers’ payday far bigger than anyone could have anticipated. The Hollywood Reporter recently suggested that the true figure was around $50 million. It’s not the kind of thing most actors are prepared to talk about, but I ask Downey anyway.
“Yeah,” he says, smiling.
Is that number about right?
“Yeah.” A broader smile.
That’s amazing.
“Isn’t that crazy?” he says. “They’re so pissed. I can’t believe it. I’m what’s known as ‘a strategic cost.’ ”

On his desire to compose music and direct a Halloween-themed film in which he plays a Village Voice reporter: “You know, I really miss composing music, writing music. And I want to direct—I think I’d do a pretty good job. Nobody has cornered Halloween as a market since Halloween. I will say only this: I am a Village Voice reporter on the run.”

On knowing what will and won’t work: “I’m very good at deconstructing. I’m a very good troubleshooter for why something is unlikely to work. And most everything is unlikely to work.”

GQ’s Chris Heath on how Robert Downey Jr.’s persistence landed him the role in Iron Man: Even after the film’s director, Jon Favreau, passed on the word from Marvel that it wasn’t going to happen, Downey refused to listen. (Favreau later explained that Marvel had actually been even more definite: “Under no circumstances are we prepared to hire him for any price.”) Downey persisted nonetheless, and eventually he was told he’d at least get a screen test.

[From GQ]

I skimmed the first page of the full article, and Robert seems to be discussing the twist of fate in his career, when he suddenly became bankable (because of Iron Man) and how weird the whole thing was and is. I actually love what he says about getting an Oscar, just because I can’t even remember a movie star being that refreshingly honest about their chances. Robert isn’t bitching about Oscar campaigns, nor is he cloyingly begging for an Oscar. He just seems to be like, “Yeah, chances are pretty good that I’ll get one for a role, or they’ll give me one when I’m old. Whatever.” It’s also interesting that he confirms that he ended up making around $50 million off the backend of The Avengers. That’s amazing.

Photos courtesy of Peggy Sirota / GQ.

Here are some photos from the Paris photocall and premiere of Iron Man 3, with only Gwyneth Paltrow and Robert Downey Jr. selling this thing at the moment. Where’s Guy Pearce? Where’s Ben Kingsley? Dunno. What I do know is that Gwyneth is giving me a headache. Goop wore this Erdem Fall 2013 look which I thought was a jumpsuit, but it’s a matching top and pants made to look like a jumpsuit. I’m sorry, but how is this look not a total failure? It’s hideous. The only good thing I can say about it is that the cut it good. Beyond that, terrible. And the center part… Goop, I can’t. As for RDJ… handsome. Funny. His association with Goop almost makes her tolerable. ALMOST.

Meanwhile, Gwyneth revealed to The Sun (how gauche!) how she met Chris Martin:

Gwyneth – who has two children with the Coldplay frontman – recalled how they were being romantically linked in 2002, before they had even met. Then Chris made a joke about it on-stage at a gig and it sent the speculation into overdrive.

Gwyneth said: “It’s funny because people had started writing that we were going out and we had never even met. And then he was in Los Angeles doing a concert and an actress that he had a crush on was supposed to come to the concert. When she didn’t show up, he was so annoyed that he said, ‘Oh, this is for my girlfriend Gwyneth Paltrow.’”

“Then people were saying, ‘What’s going on?’ I was like, ‘I’ve never met this guy, I’ve no idea!’ And because of that, because people were writing about it, we ended up meeting at a concert and there you go. So, thank you!”

[From The Sun]

You know what part I get caught on? There was “an actress that he had a crush on was supposed to come to the concert” and that actress didn’t show up. WHO WAS IT?!!? Now I’m obsessed. Who did Chris Martin want to date and Gwyneth became his consolation prize? Let’s see, this would have been back in 2002, so who was big then, and who would have conceivably gone to a Coldplay concert, and who was single around that time? God, I don’t even know where to start. Drew Barrymore? Kirsten Dunst? Kate Bosworth (cough)? Nicole Kidman?! ANGELINA?!

Photos courtesy of WENN.

I know, even Gwyneth Paltrow’s defenders (!!) are kind of sick of her at this point. But we shall power through! It sort of reminds me of Anne Hathaway’s Oscar campaign. Annie got in everyone’s faces for about three months straight, and it was the overexposure (as well as her breathy-little-girl act) that did her in. The same will happen with Gwyneth! Not only has she spent the last three weeks doing endless press for her cookbook (which is a New York Times bestseller but a critical flop), but now the press tour for Iron Man 3 has begun. These are photos of Goop and Robert Downey Jr. in Germany for an Iron Man 3 photocall.

Let’s start with the good part – RDJ looks lovely/funny and he’s dancing some kind jig and he’s wearing lederhosen. Are you supposed to wear lederhosen with hiking boots, a corduroy jacket, a button-down shirt and a jaunty neckerchief? The dancing makes up for it! And Robert kind of pulls it off. He’s got great gams.

As for Goop… ugh. I can’t find the designer ID on her dress, but it’s okay. It’s pretty and chic. Her hair is… ugh. I think she just got it trimmed? Is it just me or was her hair longer earlier this week? And that g—damn center part. It’s so awful. Goop, what are you still flat-ironing your hair for every appearance and insisting on that center part?! And by the way, I agreed with all of the complaints that Goop’s Bazaar pictorial looked like CGI. Compare these photos of Goop (where she’ had her hair and makeup professionally done) to the Bazaar photos, and you can see that the Photoshop is really crazy in the Bazaar pictorial. Oh, and you can see this week’s Goop-letter here – it’s a “scrapbook” of Santa Barbara. Blah.

PS… Am I the only one rooting for Pepper Potts to eat it in this movie?

Photos courtesy of WENN, Fame/Flynet.

Two trailers were released this week for two completely different films and I want to see both of them in different ways. First, the new trailer for Iron Man 3 which… looks okay. I really liked the first Iron Man and I thought the second one blew major chunks. I guess the third is supposed to be a return to, like, actual storytelling and a real plot that isn’t just a set-up for another damn franchise. This one is also notable because people are saying Gwyneth Paltrow’s Pepper Potts might be in real danger or something? Are they going to kill off poor Pepper? God, that would be awesome. I mean, I kind of like Pepper in the world of Iron Man, but let’s not pretend that Gwyneth is the reason people are tuning into the franchise. Anyway, less talking, more action!

See? It’s nice that it doesn’t feel as if they’re giving away the whole plot. I have high hopes for Guy Pearce, and not-so-high hopes for Ben Kingsley who, let’s face it, will say “yes” to anything. That man loves to get paid, and I hope he’s amassed a spectacular fortune because good God does he say yes to some crappy movies. (And I’m saying that as someone who adores Ben Kingsley.)

Next up: the trailer for the long-awaited What Maisie Knew, starring Alexander Skarsgard, Julianne Moore, Steve Coogan and a precocious child actor. I was actually blown away by how good this looks:

As any child of divorce will tell you, this sh-t is real. I mean, they’ve heightened the stakes with the story because Julianne is playing some kind of rock star and Coogan is playing against type as some kind of super-dramatic bastard. But my heart-area pinged a little bit with this. This is going to be good. And Skarsgard looks GREAT in this.

Photos courtesy of WENN, posters courtesy of Marvel.

A lot of you are already talking about all of the trailers that debuted during the Super Bowl, so I thought I would put them all together! We got extended glimpses at Robert Downey Jr., Benedict Cumberbatch, Johnny Depp and Brad Pitt, so the commercials were a surprisingly good moment for quality dong, right? Here are some of my favorite trailers:

Iron Man 3 – this is the 1:30-minute length trailer floating around, I’m not including the teaser (which is just a shorter version of this). I hope Iron Man 3 is better than the second one, because the second one really sucked (imo).

Here’s the new teaser trailer for Star Trek Into Darkness. It features a new mini-clip of Benedict Cumberbatch saying “I am better…” Chris Pine: “At what?” Cumby: “EVERYTHING.” Amazing. “Shall we begin?” Yes, in my pants.

New teaser for World War Z – this is a lot of the same stuff, although I’m fascinated by the idea that someone thought of moving the original Constitution in the case of the Zombie Apocalypse.

New trailer for The Lone Ranger! I like that they’re showing more of Armie Hammer.

Wait, they made ANOTHER Fast & Furious movie? Ugh.

Have you ever seen David Fincher’s Zodiac? I didn’t see it when it first came out – I think I saw it for the first time maybe two years ago. I was absolutely BLOWN AWAY. I think it might even be David Fincher’s finest film, and I’m saying that as a big fan of Seven and The Social Network (but not so much The Game, Fight Club and The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo – solid films, but not my favorites). At first, I thought Zodiac was going to be an interesting character study and period piece about what went down in San Francisco in the 1970s when the Zodiac Killer was prowling around. But what Fincher created was so incredibly creepy and get-under-your-skin terrifying, simply because the viewer becomes completely enmeshed in the world of the film.

Zodiac is full of great performances, mostly by Mark Ruffalo (an SFPD detective tracking Zodiac) and Jake Gyllenhaal (a cartoonist and amateur cryptographer obsessed with the Zodiac case). But there’s also a ballsy, intense supporting performance by Robert Downey Jr. as a beat journalist at the San Francisco Chronicle. The film was before RDJ’s giant Hollywood comeback in Iron Man – this was done in the years when RDJ was sober, but still trying to prove himself to establishment Hollywood. Here’s something I didn’t know about Zodiac: it was shot on digital film (a misnomer, etc). And in a new documentary, Fincher described how RDJ was unaccustomed to the kind of rapid filmmaking pace of a digital film… and how RDJ “protested” by leaving jars of urine around the set:

David Fincher says in Keanu Reeves’ doc on filmmaking, “Side By Side,” that Robert Downey Jr. was so peeved about putting in long hours on “Zodiac,” he left jars filled with urine around the set, in protest. (Fincher’s use of digital cameras meant less time for breaks.) Reeves unveiled his movie at MoMA on Thursday. He said at the Tribeca Film screening he wasn’t above begging to land interviews with Fincher, Christopher Nolan, James Cameron, Martin Scorsese and George Lucas.

[From Page Six]

Keanu’s documentary actually sounds incredibly interesting – the Wall Street Journal has a great piece about it here. As for RDJ and the mason jars full of urine… gross. Maybe I just don’t get it because I’m a girl. There have been so many times when I wished I could just pee standing up, or just be able to go without having to make a pit stop in the bathroom. But mostly… I’m really glad I’m not a boy. Boys are GROSS. Ugh, mason jars.

Photos courtesy of All Movie Photos.

I really, really hope this post brings out some wailing Avengers fan-girls. First, let me ask you: does Scarlett Johansson seem like the kind of woman who would be overly friendly with your husband? Yes. I think she would. I’m not saying she would actually bone a married dude (Am I? I don’t even know), but I do think she would be one of those women who just flirts with every dude, regardless of his single-or-married status, regardless of whether you’re shooting dagger-eyes at her as she leans in and bats her eyes at your husband. Anyway, this Enquirer story definitely plays into that image that some of us have of Scarlett. According to sources, the “wives” of some of the Avengers are not happy with their husbands’ close friendships with ScarJo. I guess Black Widow’s special power is jiggling AND flirting.

Scarlett Johansson loves driving men mad as much as any girl, but she’s also a babe who likes to pal around with guys, just like one of the boys – which makes the wives of her “Avengers” co-stars CRAZY!

“ScarJo’s buddy-buddy friendships with their husbands has really rubbed some wives the wrong way – especially Chris Hemsworth’s wife, Elsa, and Robert Downey Jr.’s wife, Susan,” said the insider. “Their husbands text back and forth with Scarlett, call her and giggle on the phone – and when they rave that Scarlett is ‘like one of the guys,’ it really grinds the girls’ gears! They think it borders on being flirty. And there’s an ‘Avengers’ sequel in the works, so the problem’s ongoing.”

But “Innocent” ScarJo, happily settled in with ad exec Nate Naylor, “doesn’t see herself as a femme fatale – she’s never broken up a marriage or anything. She just likes being one of the boys!”

[From The Enquirer, print edition]

From what I know of Susan Downey, she really doesn’t seem like the jealous type. She has RDJ’s heart, and she knows it. She probably thinks it’s cute that Robert flirts, but I also buy the idea that Robert knows his limits, and he would never do anything to harm his marriage, you know? As for the Chris Hemsworth and Elsa Pataky stuff… hahahaha. I can’t wait to read the comments on that one. Oh, and ScarJo better not try anything with Mark Ruffalo!! She can have Tom Hiddleston, though. I think he’s single. Shhh…. Do you hear that? That was the sound of all of the Hiddlestoners screaming “NOOOOOOOOoooooooOOOOOOO!!”

Photos courtesy of WENN.