Well it’s not much of a surprise, but ABC announced that Whoopi Goldberg will fill Rosie O’Donnell’s position as the moderator on “The View.” Whoopi makes a lot of sense in that position, as she is similar to Rosie, though she strikes me as someone who is less easily baited. Like O’Donnell, she’s also a known commodity, and very liberal.

“I have known Whoopi for years,’ Walters said in a statement released to ABCNews.com today. ‘She is brilliant, funny and irrepressible, and is an enormously popular and talented star. We are delighted that she is going to join the program as our moderator. This is going to be a great new chapter for ‘The View.’”

Goldberg, 51, has sat in as a guest host since O’Donnell’s departure. She joins Walters and current “View” panelists Elisabeth Hasselbeck and Joy Behar.

“This is a big old thrill for me,” said Goldberg, who appeared with her new colleagues toward the end of the show. “The thing I’m looking forward to the most are the hot topics and everyone trying to get in at the same time.”

[From ABC News]

Whoopi has been an outspoken opponent of the Bush administration and the Iraq war, so we’ll obviously see some more fighting with Elizabeth Hasselbeck. Somehow I don’t think it’ll be quite as personal as the Rosie v. Elizabeth matches, but who knows. Rosie could be a little immature and sink to name calling and the like. I can’t see that coming from Whoopi. But anything could happen, and “The View” certainly likes to boost its ratings with fighting co-hosts.

Nothing was said of the other vacant position, so no one knows if they’ll fill it or leave it open. Technically it’s Star Jones’ position that’s still open. Meredith Viera and Star left at about the same time, after Rosie had already been slated to fill the moderator position, which was Meredith’s. There was a lot of talk that comedian Sherri Shepherd would fill the other position, but no other names were mentioned by Barbara Walters.

“With her household-name status and vocal criticisms of President Bush, Goldberg will likely give “The View” the star power and sound bites formerly supplied by O’Donnell. On today’s show, she hinted that like her predecessor, she won’t shy away from contentious topics, regardless of whether or not her co-hosts share her opinion.

“’I’m going to be a little meaner than normal,’ she said jokingly.

“’Just be yourself.’ Hasselbeck said.”

[From ABC News]

Hopefully the show will take a slightly more sophisticated route this next season. All of the drama, in-fighting, and diva-like behavior really detracted from the smart things the co-hosts had to say. I know Rosie’s feud with Donald Trump helped her career (and probably his too) but I think it came at the expense of some dignity, for all involved. With any luck this coming season will be a little more mature, and a little less bitchy. Not that there’s anything wrong with bitchy.

In spite of a failed bid to host “The Price is Right,” Rosie O’Donnell will return to television, on the FX show “Nip/Tuck.” She’ll reprise her role as Dawn Budge, a woman who has won the lottery and wants to use her money fix her body and her life. Oh, and has a bit of a crush on one of the doctors. Producers weren’t specific on the number of episodes, but did say she’d be on for “several.” They also left the possibility open that O’Donnell’s character might get her own spin-off show. “Nip/Tuck” creator and executive producer Ryan Murphy said, “‘The character was so instantly popular. We’ve spoken about (a spinoff), it’s an ongoing discussion.’”

Rosie also made some headlines last week on her annual R Families Vacations cruise. The cruise is an annual get away meant for gay and lesbian families, and is supposed to be a time to have fun and not be judged. O’Donnell raised some eyebrows when she went on yet another tirade against Elizabeth Hasselbeck and Donald Trump in front of an audience of 1500 people. The press had led us to believe that Rosie and Elizabeth had possibly mended fences, and if nothing else were going to be respectful towards one another. But Rosie dragged out a large poster of Hasselbeck over which she’d drawn devil horns, goatee, and pointed tail. According to an audience member, O’Donnell commented, “‘Her only f–king credit was Survivor. Come on!’” and “‘ “I can’t fight with pregnant people. Just go have your baby and have a nice life.’” Her comments directed at Donald Trump were a little more expected, and presented a lovely visual image. “‘Rosie she’d love to break into his apartment and rub her belly all over him.’” Man that would make me so happy.

Rosie also told TV Guide last week that she didn’t get the gig on “The Price is Right” because, “‘They thought I was too controversial to host the game show .. I just wanted to ‘gay it up.”” She had previously stated that she was offered the job but chose not to take it because she didn’t want to relocate her family to Los Angeles, where the show films.

I love Rosie, but she’s clearly itching for a fight. You know how sometimes you’re in a bad mood and you hope someone says something wrong so you can yell at them? No? Just me? Okay well anyway, that seems to be where Rosie’s at right now. I mean the Elizabeth Hasselbeck thing had completely died down. The Donald Trump thing had too… and if nothing else, don’t poke the beast. While the media reports that came in about what Rosie said on the cruise were rather vague, it just seems like it wasn’t the appropriate venue. It’s a cruise! Family fun? Check. Midnight buffet? Check. Angry middle-aged TV host? Absolutely, you couldn’t have a satisfying vacation without one.

Picture note by Celebitchy Rosie O’Donnell is shown in the header image on the True Colors tour on 6/30/07. Thanks to WENN for this picture.

This has got to be my favorite story of the week. I know the week’s only started, but I don’t think many things could beat this story, at least in terms of obviously fake planted crap. Supposedly, Ivanka Trump is being considered to replace Rosie O’Donnell on “The View.” Wouldn’t that just make Donald as happy as a little peach pie? The National Enquirer reports that Barbara Walters is seriously considering giving Ivanka the gig. Of course they also referred to her as a “hottie with brains,” so we’ll see how much truth is behind this. Of course if Barbara did give her the spot, it would certainly make for some interesting dynamics on the show. Would Donald still go on tirades? Would he go on Larry King and talk about how Ivanka is a “Big fat pig” or whatever else he called Rosie O’Donnell? Supposedly, this all comes back to Paris Hilton (who’s name we shall not mention of course).

“The National Enquirer reports that Barbara Walters wants to hire the “hottie with brains” to stick it to Paris Hilton and her parents for their shabby treatment of her when they were trying to sell the Paris post-prison interview.”

[From the New York Post]

What in the world do Paris Hilton and her family have to do with hiring Ivanka Trump? Do the Trumps and the Hiltons have some Capulet v. Montague/East Coast v. West Coast feud going on that I don’t know about? I feel like something was missing here.

I was wondering what would even qualify Ivanka to be on the show, but she’s actually more accomplished that I thought. According to Wikipedia, she is the vice president of Real Estate Development and Acquisitions at the Trump Organization. Okay we can chalk that up to nepotism. However she was accepted to Georgetown and transferred to the University of Pennsylvania and graduated magna cum laude from their prestigious Wharton School of Business. Ivanka also replaced Carolyn Kepcher as a primary boardroom judge starting in the sixth season “The Apprentice.” Whether due to nepotism or not, she has good credentials. It’ll be interesting to see if she ultimately becomes a candidate for the position.

Update by Celebitchy: This originated in Mike Walker’s column in The National Enquirer. Last week he printed an item that Paris Hilton was being considered for the open spot on The View! I thought it was such crap that I didn’t bother to print it. So when Jay wonders what Paris has to do with it, that’s the story. I doubt either one of those stories is true.

You might have thought the fire was out under the bubbling cauldron of The Donald Trump and Rosie O’Donnell feud, but according to Out magazine .. fuel is being added to the fire by freelance peace negotiator and former Mrs. Trump, Ivana

The war began weeks ago when Trump pardoned Miss USA, who had allegedly been indulging in some bad behavior, and Rosie questioned why Trump should be a moral compass for the country—it just got worse from there. Ivana says she had words for both Ro and The Donald. “I was very diplomatic and at the end of the day, I said, ‘You know, guys, just take the high road, it is so ridiculous,’” Ivana told AP Television.

So where was this second Camp David held … on what hallowed go round did Ivana gather these warring factions to broker a peace that will finally hold ? Will our children have a chance grow up in a world without Ro-Do conflict ?

The Answers: Nowhere at all … and not very likely … as she gave both Ro and Do this advice via her column in The National Enquirer. And she not only has advice … she has analysis

“Donald and Rosie, they’re getting fantastic ratings, they’re getting publicity, they’re really using it as a marketing tool, not because they are enemies, and I understand that only too well.”

Although it strikes me that if the analysis is true … then the advice was rubbish … Ivana you gotta pick a gear and drive in it … its either the high road or fantastic ratings. Wonder which side she’ll come down on.

American Idol is back in full force, and the best of the worst are paraded out and ridiculed for your gawking pleasure. The clueless, attention-seekers, and people who are a little bit touched wait days for the priviledge of being mocked by Simon and slurred at with pity by Paula. Randy usually waits to hear what Paula or Simon says and then repeats it, as if he’s playing the children’s game of the same name but doesn’t quite get the rules.

Judges are under fire for being exceptionally cruel to bad contestants this year. Simon called one kid who was a little slow a “bush baby,” saying “you look like one of those creatures that live in the jungle with those massive eyes.” The kid handled it really well, staying positive and telling Simon “that’s your opinion, you’re entitled to it.” The NY Times notes that the guy the fat guy, not this guy is mentally handicapped, because his old school biography lists him as participating in the Special Olympics.

Producers say people know what they’re in for because they pull this shit every season, and the viewers love it. Simon sort-of apologized in a later statement, saying “.. If he’s offended, then I apologize. I might never call anyone a bush baby again.”

Here’s another audition by a Utah computer programmer who takes himself too seriously:

My favorite comment on this video on YouTube was by akaso405, who said “How come nobody ever knows when they suck balls???”

Rosie O’Donnell added her enlightened commentary to the American Idol controversy, (link leads to video) saying “Isn’t that what America thinks is entertainment? To make fun of someone’s physical apperance, and when they leave the room, laugh hysterically at them? Three millionaires, one probably intoxicated?”

“Ever since they started making fun of that guy… William Hung… If you keep serving people crap and telling them that it’s a meal, they’re eventually going to think that it’s a meal.”

She has a point that it’s cruel. Joy Behar said “This is like the new freak show… there’s an appetite for this.” Rosie said that if they put on good singers and showed all the contestants who almost made it that people would watch it too. Maybe they’re aren’t enough decent singers that don’t get picked in the first round, though.

While they shouldn’t make fun of the way people look, it seems well within their rights to make fun of the way they sing, since it’s a singing contest and all. There is such a thing as junk food entertainment. We proudly serve it, and think it’s a metaphor Rosie should be able to understand.

Viewers are eating it up. This season’s premiere was the most-watched show on Fox in six years, with over 37 million people tuning in.

Header picture from ONTD

Update: thanks to everyone who pointed out that it was the fat guy, not this bush baby guy, who is listed as mentally handicapped on his school bio.

It really feels like a slow news week. I usually don’t mention it, because most of the time it has more to do with me getting bored with the celebrities rather than the celebrities being boring, but it just seems like it’s dragging this week. People are still talking about Trump and Rosie’s dumb feud that should have been over two weeks ago, and into which Barbara Walters has been dragged. There’s not anything amazing happening so I’ll grudgingly cover it.

Barbara Walters said on the air that she never said anything about Rosie to Trump, and that she and Rosie are fine. There are stories in the gossip rags today saying nasty Rosie went off on Barbara for talking smack about her to Trump behind her back and then not contacting her at all about the whole public argument while Barbara was on vacation.

Now Trump is trying to show that he really did hear Barbara talking shit about Rosie, and he wrote this condescending letter to Rosie saying Barbara even contacted him afterwards. He claims Barbara told him that “working with [Rosie] is like living in hell,” and that she told him not to get into the mud with the pigs. I think that’s just an old saying that means don’t get into a big put-down match and let people drag you down to their level, but it sounds particularly bad when applied to Rosie:

Dear Rosie:
I hope you had a wonderful vacation with your wife – you needed the rest.

An article in todays New York Post indicates that you blew up at Barbara Walters for being a “liar.” Actually, I don’t blame you, but in fact she lied to both of us! After your maniacal and foolish rant against me two weeks ago, Barbara called me from her vacation (I did not call her) in order to apologize for your behavior. She very much wanted me to go on the show as soon as she got back so that she could “patch things up” (I said no). To be exact, she said that “working with her is like living in hell” and, more pointedly, “Donald, never get into the mud with pigs” and, “don’t worry, she won’t be here for long.” Barbara knows exactly what she told me over the phone and she has to live with it. Perhaps that’s why her initial statement was so mild!

In another incident, when I saw her eating at Le Cirque about two months ago and asked how “Rosie was doing,” she sarcastically rolled her eyes and said “Donald, do you have to ruin my meal.”

In any even, you have good reason to be angry. Please give my warmest regards to Kelly!

He also wrote a p.s. telling her to not be so self destructive, but I didn’t feel like typing that all up. You can read the letter on TMZ.

Now, I just read that the new Apprentice in L.A. is tanking in the ratings. It seems like that, and Trump’s fragile male ego are his reasons for continuing this stupid and pointless argument. It sure does keep him in the papers, and he can’t stand it that Barbara is making him out to be a liar.

The View has issued a statement saying that the incident Page Six reported on that Donald is referring to here, in which Rosie is said to have yelled at Barbara and called her a “f*#@ng liar,” was “just a squabble” and now they’re over it. We are so over it too, we really are.

Donald Trump gave a nasty interview before the holidays about his feud with Rosie O’Donnell in which he personally attacked her for personally attacking him on The View over the Miss USA debacle. He said that she’s fat, that he’d send someone to steal her girlfriend, and that her popular 90s talkshow failed.

Commentors note that he likes his women submissive, and that he wouldn’t put down a male enemy by calling him fat like he did Rosie.

Now he gets pissy all of a sudden when Meredith Viera asks him about Rosie. He’s the one who decided to start a big fight with her, and now he’s all upset that someone asked him about it. What an asshole.

Trump also claimed that Barbara Walters doesn’t like Rosie and wants her off The View. Walters has denied that, and says that she doesn’t regret hiring her, but Trump gave yet another interview saying he’s right that they have a bad relationship, making his latest tirade that more ridiculous.

I don’t think those two are good friends though, because Walters’ body language seems to show that she’s annoyed with Rosie in some of the clips I’ve seen of them together on the show. In case you care, Walters has returned from vacation and is now back on the stupid talkshow, which I would never talk about if there wasn’t some controversy involved. It seems like they’ve got a good formula going to get publicity.

Thanks to TMZ for posting this.

I stepped away from the computer to spend an inordinate amount of time travelling and returned to find another semi-scandal on The View over Rosie’s big mouth. Rosie took the opportunity to cut down and mock Donald Trump after he granted clemency to Miss USA Tara Conner. It seems like the continuation of a long-standing grudge she’s had with the real estate mogul and reality TV star. Rosie said that The Donald wasn’t one to judge anyone’s morals considering that he’s traded in two wives for younger models.

Trump wasted no time issuing a response in which he pointed out repeatedly how fat and disgusting Rosie is, and noted that she’s had it out for him since he publically talked about her failed talk show and magazine. Trump says he’s considering sue her, most likely over her claims that he’s not a self-made man and that he’s a “snake oil salesman.” He said that she’s pretty lucky to have such a hot girlfriend and that he’d send someone over to snatch her away from Rosie.

He had a point with the disgusting thing, but the debate is edging to the lowest common denominator now that both of these clowns are threatening each other. Sure Rosie is heavy, but it’s lame to make someone’s weight the center of your argument. He should have stuck to the facts and not made himself look just as bad by putting her down and saying he’s going to snatch her partner.

Trump also claims that Barbara Walters dislikes Rosie, and recommends that she fire her. I don’t think Rosie’s going to get the boot from The View any time soon. Ratings are up since she joined since everyone is watching to see what crazy shit she’ll spew next.

Here’s Trump’s rebutal to Rosie:

And here’s her response to his response. All she does is point out her girlfriend in the audience and sneer.
It would be nice if this shit would end here, but we’ll be hearing about it well into next year.

Thanks to Best Week Ever for linking these videos.

After Rosie and her hack’s haughty refusal to admit that it was mean to mock asians in sing-song gibberish, her inevitable “oh yeah, I was wrong” apology seems fake and forced. She said that she asked her asian hair and makeup person, who obviously cannot work miracles, if it was wrong to use that “Ching Chong” crap, and the woman said that it’s the oldest trick in the book and she heard it when she was a kid.

After running a clip of the offending segment, which originally ran Dec. 5, she said, “This apparently was very offensive to a lot of Asian people. So I asked Judy, who’s Asian and works here in our hair and makeup department. I said, ‘Was it offensive to you?’ And she said, ‘Well, kinda. When I was a kid people did tease me by saying ching-chong.’

“So apparently ‘ching-chong,’ unbeknownst to me, is a very offensive way to make fun, quote-unquote, or mock, Asian accents. Some people have told me it’s as bad as the n-word. I was like, really? I didn’t know that.”

O’Donnell said that her joke was “never intended to hurt anyone, and I’m sorry for those people who felt hurt or were teased on the playground,” but added that in the future, “there’s a good chance that I’ll do something like that again … Not on purpose.”

If someone were to mock gay people with a limp wrist and lisp, would it be ok if they said they had no clue, and that uh, apparently, it’s offensive? No, Rosie should have fessed up right away and not had her rep initially that say no one got her dumbass humor. At least she’s apologizing now, but it seems less than sincere.

Here’s what asian activist Angry Asian Man says about Rosie’s apology:

It’s a joke. The entire thing is played for laughs, like it was no big deal—a case of some offended people overreacting. Elisabeth Hasselback leads in with this bit about what sounds like acupuncture, and they give some background about what happened (replaying the original clip). Rosie does this whole, “Oh, I had no idea about your pain” thing. Listen as the audience is completely incredulous when they find out that saying “ching chong” is apparently offensive to some Asian people out there. Sorry to burst your bubble. Though you had it all in check, huh? Of course, this whole apology is completely negated by the fact that O’Donnell goes on to say, “Hey, I still think it was funny!” and encourages everyone to still laugh along with her about the whole thing. But the part that infuriates me the most is when Joy points to two Asian women in the audience who are nodding in agreement. I guess if these two women say it’s okay, it must be cool! Oh, it hurts. Betrayed by two of our own, on national television. What a pathetic excuse for an apology.

Rosie O’Donnell is said to talk so much constant smack to the drivers hired to ferry her to the set of The View that two drivers refuse to work for her. Another guy once pulled over halfway to their destination, hailed a cab and told her to get her annoying ass in it:

In a shocking mutiny triggered by ROSIE O’DONNELL’s razor-tongued rants and rages, a driver for “The View” suddenly blew his stack, angrily ordered Ms. Back-Seat Big-Mouth out of his limo in mid-Manhattan – and sent her packing in a TAXI! Network insiders say the bizarre blowup caps a long-simmering feud that started when Rosie joined “The View” – and angry drivers began complaining to producers that the star never shuts her yammering yap! “She’s either barking directions, telling the driver how to drive – or spewing her political views at them,” said a source. “Two of her drivers became so frustrated they’ve flatly refused to drive her again – ever!” Then the Rosie Revolt really kicked into high gear! Outraged by the star’s loud, non-stop motor-mouthing, her driver du jour pulled his limo over halfway to the studio, got out and hailed a cab – then angrily ordered Rosie: “Get out of my car and take this cab!” Stunned Rosie – who thought at first the guy was kidding — angrily disembarked, spewing threats that she’d get him fired! “I don’t care,” snapped the driver – and roared off without even waving goodbye! Stay tuned.

Limo drivers probably put up with a lot of weird personalities in their line of work. If three different drivers refuse to work with Rosie, she must bring annoying to a whole new level.

Instead of apologizing for her stupid pointless “Ching Chong” rant, which reader and Celebitchy contributor Jude says was similar to hateful taunts she heard way back in grade school, Rosie has said something like “oh, people don’t get my humor.” They don’t get it because it’s not funny and sounds hateful. You’re the one who doesn’t get it:

O’Donnell wrote on her Web site on Friday, “It was not my intent to mock.” On Sunday, she called the bit “comedy” and wrote, “I do many accents and probably will continue to. My mom in law impression offends some southerners. What can u do? I come in peace.”

Over the weekend, O’Donnell’s rep, Cindi Berger, said in a statement: “She’s a comedian in addition to being a talk show co-host. I certainly hope that one day they will be able to grasp her humor.”

But the explanation did not satisfy many, including New York City councilman John C. Liu, who sent a letter to View executive producer Barbara Walters.

Liu told FOXNews.com on Monday: “The ‘ching-chong’ bit is not a trivial matter. It really hits a raw nerve for many people in the community – many like myself, who grew up with these kinds of taunts. We all know that it never ends at the taunts.”

If Rosie ends up issuing another apology you can bet her bosses put her up to it because that bitch still doesn’t think she did anything wrong.