Deep down in my little heart, I truly, deeply believe that the most romantic thing a couple can do is talk about the legal specifics of their love. What says “I am passionately, over-the-moon in love with my new spouse” more than calling Ryan Seacrest three days after you got married to tell him about your pre-nup? You’re sitting there silently because the answer to that question is obvious: nothing. Nothing says love more than chatting amicably with Seacrest’s hair spikes about your big day.

And as a wedding gift to his new wife, that’s exactly what Pete Wentz did this morning. Actually, he snuck out of his bedroom while Ashlee was still asleep. But that’s just a technicality.

“We have signed a pre-nup,” the newlywed rocker admitted on Ryan Seacrest’s KIIS-FM radio show Tuesday. (Ashlee was alseep, he said.) He said “she legally is a Wentz … I don’t know what she’ll do with her stage name, that’s up to her. She hasn’t decided that.”

He said they’re skipping out on a honeymoon (for now) and have been hanging out in their basement in L.A. “We got some blow-up palm trees,” Wentz said. “A little fake-n-bake tanning booth. We’re eating DiGiorno’s pizza, getting in that tanning oven every once in a while, it’s great. It’s gonna look like we’re on that private jet,” he added. “We’re gonna save that 30 grand, you know?” I feel great!” he said. “It is sunny and 65 in my head.”

Wentz still refused to confirm Simpson’s pregnancy. When Seacrest asked why they decided to wed now, Wentz replied, “I get the backdoor question you’re asking me, but it’s been something we’ve been planning for a long time. I gave her a promise ring four months ago.” Seacrest later asked if he’s thought about baby names. Wentz laughed. “Ryan, this baby has not been confirmed,” he said. “The only thing I’m confirming now is that we’re in the basement on our honeymoon with these blow-up palm trees.”

[From Us Magazine]

Um…

Um…….. alright. Where to start. [JayBird inhales deeply]. I didn’t HEAR the interview, so it’s hard for me to tell if/to what extent Pete Wentz is teasing. On the one hand, my instinct is to think Ryan Seacrest must have asked him what they were doing instead of a honeymoon, and Pete was just joking. On the other hand, it’s Pete Wentz and Ashlee Simpson, and having a bunch of blow-up palm trees and a microwave pizza for a basement honeymoon doesn’t seem that out of character.

I will point out that Pete said this” baby has not been confirmed. Not “a” baby has not been confirmed. To me, the phrasing he used is a little more personal, and implies that a baby does indeed exist. But frankly my brain is so boggled from trying to figure out if there’s a blow-up kiddie pool in the Simpson/Wentz basement that I’m not sure I’m able to dissect the inner-workings of Pete Wentz’s brain. And I’m pretty much okay with that.

Here’s Pete Wentz trying to eat Ashlee Simpson’s face at the Cloverfield premiere on January 1st. Images thanks to WENN.

Justin Timberlake is nothing if not hardcore and intense. Even if you’re not a fan, it’s hard to deny that he tends to put all of himself into most everything he does. Even dating. He was serious with Britney Spears as a teenager (no easy feat); Cameron Diaz in his early twenties, and now Jessica Biel. The pair have been together for almost a year and a half, and several media outlets are reporting that Justin is planning on proposing to Jessica in the very near future. Supposedly he’s already scouting private islands for the ceremony.

He has dated some of the most beautiful women in the world but gorgeous actress Jessica Biel has finally tamed Justin Timberlake. I hear he will soon be proposing and has already started looking at potential wedding venues — or in his case, islands.

The two have been dating since January last year and rumours are rife they may already be planning a family. One source said Jessica has not been drinking recently, sparking pregnancy rumours. They added: “Justin is 27 and thinking about marriage and kids. “For the first time in his life he is feeling settled and has definitely decided to pop the question to Jessica.

His No 1 choice is the beautiful West Indian island of Mustique. Words can’t do the place justice, although the official website comes close, describing it as: “An exclusive, 1,400-acre island in the southern Caribbean with lush, rolling terrain cooled by trade winds, surrounded by pristine white beaches and clear, aquamarine waters.”

Because it is privately owned by those who live there, he would be able to ban all paparazzi — and more importantly, Bizarre reporters — from even landing there. His friend added: “Although Justin has lived his whole life in the public eye, he feels his wedding is the one day that should remain private. To get all his close friends and family to Mustique will cost a fortune. But he can’t put a price on how he feels about Jessica.

[From the Sun]

I wonder if tabloids are aware that people get married for any other reason than impending pregnancy. Of course lately they’ve been proven right quite a bit, so I really don’t have a leg to stand on. But somehow I doubt Jessica Biel is pregnant. Justin Timberlake seems like he could be a pretty intense guy to be married to. And he very much overshadows Jessica. Maybe she’s fine with that. I don’t think I’ve heard a word about her without hearing much more about him. She wasn’t a huge star before dating him, but it seems like marrying Justin might kill any chance she has for a decent career of her own – a la Katie Holmes. Marry a big star and that’s all anyone’s going to talk about.

There were rumors that Justin had cheated on Jessica with Kate Hudson this past winter, and it seemed like they could be legitimate. But the pair are clearly going strong. I don’t even want to imagine what this will do to Britney Spears.

Here’s Justin and Jessica leaving a wedding held at the Oviatt Hotel in Los Angeles on May 4th. Is it me or is Justin looking a little gaunt? Images thanks to WENN.

An older image of Beyonce and Jay-Z

The New York Daily News has an article today alleging that Beyonce is pregnant, and that’s the real reason for her “quickie nuptials” to Jay-Z last Friday. We still have yet to receive any official confirmation of a wedding from the couple or their reps, but some random details have leaked out about the ceremony, including a photo of Beyonce’s alleged bouquet. It’s super tacky and reeks of Tina Knowles. The Daily News seems to think Beyonce’s got a bun in the oven, and that’s the real reason the longtime couple finally tied the knot.

Did a pregnancy send Jay-Z and Beyoncé running down the aisle? Buzz is building that this weekend’s quickie nuptials were actually a shotgun wedding. It would be the second for the Knowles’ family: At just 17, Beyoncé’s little sis, Solange, wed boyfriend Daniel Smith in the Bahamas after learning she was pregnant.

While reps for both J and B are neither confirming nor denying baby talk, the diva has indicated in the past that she’d like a big family: “I want to get married, and I really want a family. In a perfect world I’d have two boys and a girl.”

[From Rush & Molloy]

That seems like a whole lot of speculation to me. First off, we have no reason to believe it was a quickie wedding. Just because the press wasn’t informed about it doesn’t mean it hasn’t been in the works for months. It seems like the fact that it was a small ceremony that happened 3 days after they got their marriage license makes people think it was a hastily made decision. Jay Z and Beyonce have always kept their relationship really low profile. It’s quite likely they’ve been engaged for a while.

The way Beyonce and her mom go all-out on everything (some would say to a ridiculously tacky extent), I highly doubt they’d rush a once-in-a-lifetime event like Beyonce’s wedding. I think based on the Daily News’ evidence, we could accuse just about every bride of being pregnant.

There are reports all over Manhattan that Beyonce and Jay-Z may be tying the knot today. A party of some sort is definitely happening at Jay-Z’s apartment – though it could be to celebrate his recent $150 million deal with Live Nation. Evidence includes a white tent that’s been set up on the roof of the building, flowers and candelabras that have been delivered (some left out on the curb, letting People magazine get quite the snapshot), and AV equipment delivery. Several of the couple’s friends are in the city, including Beyonce’s former Destiny’s Child band mates Michelle Williams and Kelly Rowland, who for some stupid reason mention in a YouTube video that they’re staying at the Four Seasons in Manhattan right now. Other famous friends in NYC are Jermaine Dupri, Kanye West , Diddy, and Pharrell Williams. But to be fair, it’s New York City, no podunk nowhere. It’s not exactly weird that a lot of celebrities are here this weekend.

Jay-Z is breaking out the bubbly at his place Friday night for a big celebration. The big question is whether it’s to mark his rumored wedding to Beyoncé Knowles, or his $150 million deal with Live Nation. “Jay has invited some close friends, including Diddy, to his apartment in New York,” a source told the Daily News. “He hasn’t said if it’s for his wedding.”

Several sources close to the families of Knowles, 26, and Jay-Z, 38, said they knew nothing about a ceremony. There have been several false marriage reports going back at least two years. That hasn’t stopped Beyoncé’s dad, Mathew Knowles, from stringing along at least one celebrity weekly with the offer of wedding pics for sale.

“Mathew first started talking about wedding photos on Monday,” a magazine insider told The News. “He said, ‘How much are you offering?’ There has been a back-and-forth since then, but he has not revealed the date. He is definitely talking about there being wedding pictures.”

[From the New York Daily News]

Well that’s classy. Always a good dad, and always a good manager, right? Supposedly the event will be attended by 30 guests. Which seems small for a wedding, but certainly happens – especially when you’re trying to keep things private. What does seem odd is that the guests were all told to wear ivory, according to VH1 and several other websites. I’m pretty sure that the number one etiquette rule for a wedding guest is not to wear white. In fact I think it’s one of the few rules people still pay attention to. And Beyonce doesn’t seem like the kind of girl to let anyone steal her thunder – certainly not on her wedding day. So although there’s a ton of evidence that Beyonce and Jay may be getting hitched today, that one little detail makes me think they might be pulling one over on us.

Here’s a photo of the tent erected atop of Jay-Z’s building today. Splash notes: “Amid rumors of a wedding between Jay Z and Beyonce Knowles, a tent has been erected on the roof abutting jay Z’s apartment. According to US reports, behind the tent is an all-white interior.” Thanks to Splash for the image.

Update: Us Weekly is reporting that a reverend and his wife were seen entering Jay-Z’s building. I don’t pretend to have any idea how Us Weekly knows the guy is a reverend.

The Internet is abuzz today with rumors that Justin Timberlake recently called his ex, Britney Spears, to express his concern over her health and wish her well. So far, I haven’t seen a single credible source to support this phone call. A teen magazine called “Twist” reportedly broke this story, but I couldn’t find it anywhere on the Twist website. Here is one version of the rumor:

After more than three years of not having contact with Britney Spears, the singer Justin Timberlake spoke for the first time with his ex- girlfriend.

Justin was worried about Britney’s health, and called his ex- father-in-law Jamie Spears, Jamie was dining with Britney at the Katsui restaurant.

According to Twist magazine Jamie gave the call to his daughter.

Britney asked her dad, “Are you sure he wants to talk to me?”

“She was very excited and shaking, ” said a witness.

[From Oh No They Didn't]

There are a lot of things wrong with this- most blatantly, Jamie Spears was never Justin’s father in law. Secondly, if Justin truly is concerned about his ex, why would he wait until now to reach out to her? I think this is wishful thinking on those fans who still think Justin and Britney belong together. And finally, if this alleged witness was close enough to hear all of this, why does the story end there? This sounds like an April Fool’s joke.

Picture note by Celebitchy: Britney is shown at Tracey Ross boutique in Sunset Plaza in LA yesterday, where she needed a police escort to help her through all the photographers. Thanks to WENN.

There’s a lot of circumstantial evidence that suggests that Suri Cruise might not have been born on April 18, 2006 as claimed. First, her birth certificate wasn’t signed by anyone who actually saw Katie or Suri in the hospital and wasn’t issued for a full 20 days after her birth date. It took a full five months for anyone to catch a glimpse of little Suri, when she made her big debut in the October, 2006 issue of Vanity Fair. That seemed extremely suspicious back then, but Britney managed to hide Jayden James for a longer period of time so it’s not necessarily a red flag. The Scientologists also have this thing where babies can’t be exposed to negative influences or something, so that was also cited as a potential reason to have kept Suri under wraps for so long.

A lot of people speculated that Suri wasn’t born in April at all, and cited photos of Katie’s Holmes growing and shrinking bump to show that there was some funny business going on. One photo in particular that made us scratch our heads had Katie looking like she was smuggling a beach ball under her top. There are theories that Suri isn’t Tom Cruise’s biological baby and that Katie was instead pregnant with her ex Chris Klein’s child when she met Tom just a month after her breakup with Chris. Cruise was rumored to be sterile or at least unable to successfully reproduce, given the fact that he had no biological children with ex wife Nicole Kidman and she suffered some miscarriages during their marriage. The curious way that Suri was kept from the public and the lack of convincing evidence of her birthdate were used as evidence that she could be older than Holmes and Cruise claimed, which made her paternity up to question.

Now there’s some hearsay to add to the rumor that Suri is Chris Klein’s and not Tom’s baby. The National Enquirer has a source this week that claims to have had a conversation with Chris that suggested that Katie was pregnant when they broke up back in March of 2005. Their source also passed a lie detector test, but that’s possible with the help of some medication so you can’t put much faith in that. The Enquirer never says outright that Suri must be Chris’ baby, but they sure hint strongly at it:

“Mad Money” star Katie, 29, and Chris, 27, started dating in January 2000. They got engaged at Christmas 2003, but Chris has said they split in March 2005 because they fell out of love.

A month after the breakup, Katie flew to Los Angeles from New York to meet Tom. Two months after that - on June 17, 2005 - Tom announced Katie had accepted his wedding proposal.

But even before their engagement was made public, Chris told the source that he had impregnated Katie, says the pal. “Shortly after his relationship with Katie ended, Chris and I had a heart-to-heart,” the source - who passed a polygraph test - told The Enquirer.

“We were having dinner at Cafeteria, a restaurant in NY’s Chelsea district, when Chris blurted out ‘Dude, you know I got Katie preggers.’

“There was a long silence. I realized Chris had said more than he intended. My next thought was: What happened to the baby?”

Chris never said - and the source says he didn’t ask.

“From the look in Chris’ eyes, I realized this was highly personal. I didn’t want to probe any further. We quickly went on to another topic,” the source said.

“Chris never brought it up again, but I know he must be reminded of Katie’s pregnancy every time he sees her daughter Suri.”

[From The National Enquirer, print edition, February 4, 2008]

I really don’t believe that Katie Holmes ran the full NY Marathon or even walked it, but it feels kind of wrong to speculate whether Suri is Tom’s biological child or not. A lot of signs point to “no,” but this is a little girl who is being raised by a batshit crazy, but still completely attentive loving father who is doing his best to ensure that she’s indoctrinated in the manner he’s accustomed to. All we have at this point is some circumstantial evidence and the word of a person who may not even be real. Even if some friend of Klein’s heard him say this, it doesn’t mean that Suri is Kleins. Katie could have had a miscarriage or maybe she thought she was pregnant and really wasn’t. Maybe it doesn’t matter if Tom is Suri’s biological dad or not. Heath’s death helped me grow a conscience this week, although I’m sure by next week I’ll be back to normal.

Thanks to Splash News for these photos and Pink is The New Blog for the composite image.

Apparently people were all up in a tizzy saying Michael Jackson was getting married. To a woman. A genetically original woman. I didn’t hear anything about said tizzy, but it was big enough to require Jacko’s people to release an official statement. Apparently it’s not true. Though he’s such a weird guy and there’s so much mystery surrounding him that I wouldn’t rule anything out. He probably did get married, it was just to a coffee maker or other random household appliance instead of a woman.

“Michael Jackson and his kids remain the only ones donning the veils in the family. The singer’s rep issued a firm denial Thursday in response to a sudden flurry of reports stating that the self-proclaimed King of Pop had swapped vows with his children’s nanny, Grace Rwaramba, a frequent fixture in the courtroom during his trial on child-molestation charges in 2005.

“‘Wide spreading reports regarding Michael Jackson being married are not true,’ publicist and resident rumor-buster Raymone Bain said in a statement to E! News. ‘Documents stating otherwise are a hoax.’

“Earlier Thursday, the National Enquirer’s Website quoted a source supposedly close to the pair who said, ‘Grace was happy to go along with it. She’s always been devoted to Michael and has raised the kids since the day they were born. Michael knew she’d make a perfect stepmother.’
“The tabloid also said that it had obtained a real estate document on which Jackson referred to himself as a ‘married man.’”

[From E! News]

How does Michael Jackson keep getting so many ladies? He looks like a lady! Michael’s got some serious financial worries. He’s being sued by just about every business in America, and a least three quarters of the American public. I’m guessing that – if he did marry the kids’ nanny – he just did it to save money since he wouldn’t have to pay her a salary anymore. But let’s be honest, being the King of Pop’s wife has its advantages. You always have access to blankets when you’re cold – just reach over and pull one off a random kid. You have unlimited Jesus Juice. All the monkeys you can handle. And the guy will never bother you for sex at three in the morning. In fact you probably won’t even have to share a bed with him. Sounds like an ideal marriage to me. Especially the monkeys.

Picture Note by Jaybird: Images thanks to PR Photos.