The Internet is abuzz today with rumors that Justin Timberlake recently called his ex, Britney Spears, to express his concern over her health and wish her well. So far, I haven’t seen a single credible source to support this phone call. A teen magazine called “Twist” reportedly broke this story, but I couldn’t find it anywhere on the Twist website. Here is one version of the rumor:

After more than three years of not having contact with Britney Spears, the singer Justin Timberlake spoke for the first time with his ex- girlfriend.

Justin was worried about Britney’s health, and called his ex- father-in-law Jamie Spears, Jamie was dining with Britney at the Katsui restaurant.

According to Twist magazine Jamie gave the call to his daughter.

Britney asked her dad, “Are you sure he wants to talk to me?”

“She was very excited and shaking, ” said a witness.

[From Oh No They Didn't]

There are a lot of things wrong with this- most blatantly, Jamie Spears was never Justin’s father in law. Secondly, if Justin truly is concerned about his ex, why would he wait until now to reach out to her? I think this is wishful thinking on those fans who still think Justin and Britney belong together. And finally, if this alleged witness was close enough to hear all of this, why does the story end there? This sounds like an April Fool’s joke.

Picture note by Celebitchy: Britney is shown at Tracey Ross boutique in Sunset Plaza in LA yesterday, where she needed a police escort to help her through all the photographers. Thanks to WENN.

There’s a lot of circumstantial evidence that suggests that Suri Cruise might not have been born on April 18, 2006 as claimed. First, her birth certificate wasn’t signed by anyone who actually saw Katie or Suri in the hospital and wasn’t issued for a full 20 days after her birth date. It took a full five months for anyone to catch a glimpse of little Suri, when she made her big debut in the October, 2006 issue of Vanity Fair. That seemed extremely suspicious back then, but Britney managed to hide Jayden James for a longer period of time so it’s not necessarily a red flag. The Scientologists also have this thing where babies can’t be exposed to negative influences or something, so that was also cited as a potential reason to have kept Suri under wraps for so long.

A lot of people speculated that Suri wasn’t born in April at all, and cited photos of Katie’s Holmes growing and shrinking bump to show that there was some funny business going on. One photo in particular that made us scratch our heads had Katie looking like she was smuggling a beach ball under her top. There are theories that Suri isn’t Tom Cruise’s biological baby and that Katie was instead pregnant with her ex Chris Klein’s child when she met Tom just a month after her breakup with Chris. Cruise was rumored to be sterile or at least unable to successfully reproduce, given the fact that he had no biological children with ex wife Nicole Kidman and she suffered some miscarriages during their marriage. The curious way that Suri was kept from the public and the lack of convincing evidence of her birthdate were used as evidence that she could be older than Holmes and Cruise claimed, which made her paternity up to question.

Now there’s some hearsay to add to the rumor that Suri is Chris Klein’s and not Tom’s baby. The National Enquirer has a source this week that claims to have had a conversation with Chris that suggested that Katie was pregnant when they broke up back in March of 2005. Their source also passed a lie detector test, but that’s possible with the help of some medication so you can’t put much faith in that. The Enquirer never says outright that Suri must be Chris’ baby, but they sure hint strongly at it:

“Mad Money” star Katie, 29, and Chris, 27, started dating in January 2000. They got engaged at Christmas 2003, but Chris has said they split in March 2005 because they fell out of love.

A month after the breakup, Katie flew to Los Angeles from New York to meet Tom. Two months after that – on June 17, 2005 – Tom announced Katie had accepted his wedding proposal.

But even before their engagement was made public, Chris told the source that he had impregnated Katie, says the pal. “Shortly after his relationship with Katie ended, Chris and I had a heart-to-heart,” the source – who passed a polygraph test – told The Enquirer.

“We were having dinner at Cafeteria, a restaurant in NY’s Chelsea district, when Chris blurted out ‘Dude, you know I got Katie preggers.’

“There was a long silence. I realized Chris had said more than he intended. My next thought was: What happened to the baby?”

Chris never said – and the source says he didn’t ask.

“From the look in Chris’ eyes, I realized this was highly personal. I didn’t want to probe any further. We quickly went on to another topic,” the source said.

“Chris never brought it up again, but I know he must be reminded of Katie’s pregnancy every time he sees her daughter Suri.”

[From The National Enquirer, print edition, February 4, 2008]

I really don’t believe that Katie Holmes ran the full NY Marathon or even walked it, but it feels kind of wrong to speculate whether Suri is Tom’s biological child or not. A lot of signs point to “no,” but this is a little girl who is being raised by a batshit crazy, but still completely attentive loving father who is doing his best to ensure that she’s indoctrinated in the manner he’s accustomed to. All we have at this point is some circumstantial evidence and the word of a person who may not even be real. Even if some friend of Klein’s heard him say this, it doesn’t mean that Suri is Kleins. Katie could have had a miscarriage or maybe she thought she was pregnant and really wasn’t. Maybe it doesn’t matter if Tom is Suri’s biological dad or not.

Thanks to Splash News for these photos and Pink is The New Blog for the composite image.

Apparently people were all up in a tizzy saying Michael Jackson was getting married. To a woman. A genetically original woman. I didn’t hear anything about said tizzy, but it was big enough to require Jacko’s people to release an official statement. Apparently it’s not true. Though he’s such a weird guy and there’s so much mystery surrounding him that I wouldn’t rule anything out. He probably did get married, it was just to a coffee maker or other random household appliance instead of a woman.

“Michael Jackson and his kids remain the only ones donning the veils in the family. The singer’s rep issued a firm denial Thursday in response to a sudden flurry of reports stating that the self-proclaimed King of Pop had swapped vows with his children’s nanny, Grace Rwaramba, a frequent fixture in the courtroom during his trial on child-molestation charges in 2005.

“‘Wide spreading reports regarding Michael Jackson being married are not true,’ publicist and resident rumor-buster Raymone Bain said in a statement to E! News. ‘Documents stating otherwise are a hoax.’

“Earlier Thursday, the National Enquirer’s Website quoted a source supposedly close to the pair who said, ‘Grace was happy to go along with it. She’s always been devoted to Michael and has raised the kids since the day they were born. Michael knew she’d make a perfect stepmother.’
“The tabloid also said that it had obtained a real estate document on which Jackson referred to himself as a ‘married man.’”

[From E! News]

How does Michael Jackson keep getting so many ladies? He looks like a lady! Michael’s got some serious financial worries. He’s being sued by just about every business in America, and a least three quarters of the American public. I’m guessing that – if he did marry the kids’ nanny – he just did it to save money since he wouldn’t have to pay her a salary anymore. But let’s be honest, being the King of Pop’s wife has its advantages. You always have access to blankets when you’re cold – just reach over and pull one off a random kid. You have unlimited Jesus Juice. All the monkeys you can handle. And the guy will never bother you for sex at three in the morning. In fact you probably won’t even have to share a bed with him. Sounds like an ideal marriage to me. Especially the monkeys.

Picture Note by Jaybird: Images thanks to PR Photos.