At the Grammys last night, Katy Perry and her massive rack walked the red carpet in rather uncharacteristic fashion; that is, she was covered up in a pale blue Elle Saab couture dress that would’ve been positively glamorous and appropriate on a smaller-chested woman. However, Katy’s rack refuses to be tamed and is hanging out there regardless. Not that I’m saying that there’s anything wrong with large boobs (or I’d be speaking out against my own, which already annoy me to no end), but Katy should’ve at least worn a proper bra here. Hell, maybe she actually is wearing a good bra, and this dress just wasn’t made for her body type — it does look like it’s taking quite a strain in the boob area.

Katy also paired the blue dress with her preexisting electric blue hair (with faux-dark roots), electric pink lipstick, and too much fake tanner. The overall effect is quite cheap, but that’s the general Katy Perry vibe anyway, so at least she scores some points for consistency.

Then there was Katy’s performance, which started out with an imitation Perry (so obvious) giving a rendition of “E.T.” before the power went out. Shocking! Of course, the real Katy (if there is one) was dangling far above the stage and prepared to unleash her new single, “Part of Me,” which seemed specifically chosen to point a glaring finger in the direction of one Russell Brand (who was probably at home and either rolling his eyes or doing yoga). This morning, Kaiser and I were discussing the awfulness of Katy’s lyrics, and Kaiser (rightfully) thinks Katy’s playing the post-divorce game by metaphorically shouting, “Sisterhood, I was used by a bad man!” Such a classic pity game. Now because I enjoy making fun of Katy’s lyrics, here are some of the original lyrics to “Part of Me”:

“You chewed me up and spit me out. Like I was poison in your mouth.

“Now look at me, I’m sparkling. A firework, a dancing flame. You won’t ever put me out again. I’m glowing, oh woah oh. You can keep the dog from me I never liked him anyway. In fact you can keep everything. Yeah, yeah. Except for me.”

Except that during this Grammy performance, Katy changed the “dog” line to “So you can keep your diamond ring, it don’t mean nothing anyway.” Yep, this is the chick that signed her divorce papers with a heart and a happy face. Yet I will say that Katy’s body looked pretty amazing onstage:

Also and just as a reminder, Russell didn’t take “everything” from Katy except maybe a chunk of her ego, which will bounce back in no time. He certainly didn’t take any of her money, and now TMZ has a new update to that story too:

Katy Perry and Russell Brand never entertained the idea of signing a prenup — and if they could do it all over again … they wouldn’t have changed a thing, sources close to the couple tell TMZ.

According to sources, Katy and Russell’s marriage happened so fast, they never really had the opportunity to summon their lawyers and hash out a prenup … nor did either really believe they needed one.

We’re told both felt comfortable one wouldn’t screw the other in the event of a divorce — they both knew where the other person stood on money, life, religion … everything.

TMZ broke the story … Russell refused to accept $20 million of Katy’s money he was entitled to as part of the divorce — exactly half the money she made during the course of their marriage.

Sources tell us, Russell was never a materialistic person and never spent much — he never got into entertainment for the money.

As one source put it, “Russell is a very simple person who doesn’t need much to make him happy.”

The source adds, “He would never take money that [Katy] earned. That’s not Russell. And if it was the other way around, Katy wouldn’t have taken it either. They respect each other too much.”

Where is Hollywood and what have you done with it?!?!

[From TMZ]

Isn’t it amusing how both Katy and Russell apparently knew “everything” about each other before marriage except that they were totally wrong for each other as a couple? And let’s not get into “respect” when Katy is clearly trashing Russell at the Grammys. Still, I can buy the part about Russell not being into money, for he even admits that he doesn’t entertain for the cash but for the associated notoriety. As he states in Booky Wook 2, “Without fame my whole persona doesn’t make sense. Without fame my haircut just looks like mental illness.” This totally gels with Russell’s public portrayal of himself; over the weekend, he was even photographed barefoot in the street while walking to his car. Yet he took great care to don one of his dodgy scarves. Priorities, people.

Now back to Katy and her (probably) teenaged fans:

Photos courtesy of WENN

Yesterday, we covered Russell Brand’s refusal to take any of estranged wife Katy Perry’s millions during their current divorce proceedings. Most of you agreed that it was a smart move on Russell’s part regardless of his motivations, and I’m sure that he is looking quite forward to getting on with life without constant reminders of his wife’s cocaine lifestyle. Even though Russell just filed for divorce about six weeks ago, it seems like he and Katy have already been apart longer than they’ve been together. Of course, that has a lot to do with the fact that rumors of the relationship’s demise have been swirling since almost the beginning of their 14-month marriage. They were such a poor match from the very beginning.

Now Russell and Katy have finalized their divorce settlement and all property has been divided accordingly. Thank goodness there were no kids involved although the couple did adopt one cat together, so who knows what direction the poor feline will be headed. Naturally, Katy had to be all showy and “quirky” while signing the papers:

There’s no going back at this point.

Katy Perry, 27, and Russell Brand, 36, have reached a settlement in their divorce, Us Weekly can confirm. British movie star Brand filed for divorce on December 30 citing “irreconcilable differences.”

In court documents filed Tuesday and obtained by Radar Online, Perry and Brand said they “have entered into a comprehensive written settlement of all issues, including, without limitation, with respect to the property to be confirmed or assigned to each party.”

Brand will not be receiving spousal support from Perry, despite not having a pre0nuptial agreement. The “Firework” singer is worth an estimated $70 million, while Brand is valued at $20 million.

The former couple owned four properties in California, New York and London, totaling $15 million. The exes also have three cats: Her Kitty Purry, his Morrissey and, Perry once told Us, “together we got Krusty!”

Perry signed the court documents with a happy face next to her name — a sure sign that she’s ready to put her 14-month marriage behind her.

[From Us Magazine]

Indeed, Katy did sign the divorce papers (which you can see at The Mail) with a heart and happy face combo. Of course, that’s her standard autograph these days (and can be observed on many signed items currently on sale at eBay), but I’m sure Katy knew that the cute little smiley would be seen the world round once the papers were released. It’s probably her way of trying to show the world that she doesn’t care about getting divorced. Whatever, Katy.

At any rate, it looks like this (semi-)long nightmare of a marriage is finally over except for the requisite waiting period. Katy and Russell will be officially divorced on June 30. In the meantime, they can both resume their previous lives. He’ll be wearing increasingly ridiculous scarves, and she’ll get back to “partying” even though she never really stopped.

Photos courtesy of Fame/Flynet and WENN

Finally, here are some photos of Katy Perry at that DirectTV party where she sang about wanting to rip off Tim Tebow’s pants and check out his “Peacock.” Then after the Super Bowl, Katy reportedly partied until 3 a.m. at the Giants bash. She’s always “partying.” I can’t really even identify with that word since these days, and I haven’t done so since my early 20s. It’s a strange word, for I remember shouting the words to Beastie Boys “Fight For Your Right” as a tween while my (mildly overprotective) dad grew worried. He said something along the lines of “Do you know what ‘partying’ even means? It means having sexual relations with complete strangers.” Yeah, I stopped singing the song aloud after that little discussion.

Anyway, Katy’s been partying her ass off and leaving the finer (or possibly all of the) details of her divorce to estranged husband Russell Brand and his attorneys. While she certainly can’t be enjoying the dissolution of her marriage, it looks like she’s got nothing to worry about in the financial department. Russell doesn’t want a scrap of Katy’s money even though he’s entitled to plenty of it under California law:

Russell Brand is entitled to approximately $20 million of Katy Perry’s fortune … but TMZ has learned he will not take a single penny of it.

Russell’s lawyer filed final divorce papers Tuesday … although the judge will make the divorce official on June 30, because there’s a 6 month waiting period.

Informed sources tell TMZ … Russell and Katy did NOT have a prenup. As a result, everything they earned during their 14-month marriage is community property — which means they’re each entitled to 50% of the pot.

Katy made $44 million between May, 2010 and May, 2011 — according to Forbes. The couple Married in October, 2010, so Russell could have scored a fortune if he exercised his community property rights.

But here’s the deal. As one source put it, “This divorce is as amicable as it gets, and Russell was a mensch (Yiddish for a good person).” He doesn’t want Katy’s money. He’s happy to walk away with the money he earned — which is far less than what Katy raked in.

[From TMZ]

This is a smart move on Russell’s part, and I imagine that Russell did so for reasons that are threefold: (1) He has enough money of his own; (2) He just wants out of the marriage and won’t stick around arguing for a moment longer than necessary; (3) He’s thinking about his image. And even if his career hits the skids and he runs out of money, there’s always money to be made by selling out his marriage secrets in Booky Wook 3, right?

Meanwhile, Russell’s been stalking the streets of Los Angeles alone. While various insiders claim that he’s shagging other chicks and wants to get with Zooey Deschanel, he’s putting forth the appearance of getting back to work. For all the public knows, his only downtime consists of playing a few games of pool with the guys. Oh, and wearing more scarves.

Photos courtesy of Fame/Flynet and WENN

OK! Magazine has a sketchy story about Russell Brand and who he wants to “date” next. Sources claim he’s got his eye on “Katy Perry look-alike” Zooey Deschanel, she of the quirky-hipster bangs trauma and The New Girl (which I love). OK! Mag’s article spends a lot of time comparing Zooey and Katy Perry’s looks, and while I can see the resemblance, I feel like the comparisons are sort of insulting to Zooey. Katy is an average-looking girl who styles herself like a cartoon to get people to pay attention to her. Zooey is a pretty girl who has styling issues, but she seems much more “together” than Katy, in general. Anyway, now that Zooey is available (she filed for divorce a month ago), Russell Brand wants to date her:

Just weeks after ditching Katy Perry, Russell Brand could already be lining up a replacement – funny girl Zooey Deschanel! Brand is said to be desperate to hook up with the New Girl star, whose own marriage to Death Cab for Cutie front man Ben Gibbard recently came to a grinding halt. In fact, Zooey filed for divorce on Dec. 27, just three days before Russell ended his marriage to Katy.

“Russell has had his eye on Zooey for a long time,” discloses an insider. “And he’s been sending funny, flirty texts to see if they can get together. He thinks she’s hysterically funny and cute too. He loves her quirky sense of humor and thinks they’d be great together both on and off screen. There’s a real spark there.”

Zooey is said to be “intrigued” by the idea of working with Russell, “But she’s heard about his reputation as a womanizer, and isn’t sure whether she’s ready to rush into another relationship so quickly.” The insider also says that Zooey “thinks it would kinda freaky to team up with Russell, especially so soon after both their marriages have just ended.”

“Who knows whether it’s Russell’s warped mind working overtime, or if he has other motives for wanting to get together with Zooey… but now that she and Russell are both available, there’s nothing to stop them from getting together!”

[From OK! Magazine, print edition]

I tend to think Zooey is too smart to fall for Russell’s whole deal, but you never know. He’s a smart man capable of being charming and interesting, and smart women fall for that crap all of the time. Still, I don’t think Russell is Zooey’s type? She seems to go for the little hipster boys and Russell just… I don’t know. They don’t seem to make sense to me. At the end of the day, I guess I just can’t see Zooey being down with wheelchair pr0n and Rusty’s “toy” closet.

Photos courtesy of Fame/Flynet and WENN.

Mark my words — the speculation over the demise of Katy Perry and Russell Brand’s marriage will last longer than the 14-month marriage itself. We’ve already heard many theories about the divorce, which range from Katy’s refusal to start a family to Russell’s overwhelming demand for wheelchair pr0n, and it’s all a bit exhausting. If only half of the stories that’ve come out are true, well, it’s rather unbelievable that Katy and Russell ever got married in the first place. This week, we’ve got a story from Star that claims to have “the real reason” for the split, which relies heavily upon the Hawaiian beach vacation that ruined Christmas. Star alleges that when Russell found out what occurred in Hawaii, he was finished with Katy for good:

Russell Brand may be the recovering addict, but it’s Katy Perry’s exposure to hard drugs and all-night partying that doomed their marriage. Amid reports of cheating, fighting and a fading romance, Star has discovered the shocking reason that [the couple] split a little more than a year after their wedding in India.

Russell, a recovering drug addict, “hit the roof,” says a source, when he found out exactly what was going on in Hawaii. “Katy runs with a really wild crowd,” an insider tells Star. Some of her acquaintances love to do cocaine. “They will party all night till the sun comes up, doing line after line of coke.”

According to pals, Russell felt he had no choice but to instruct his lawyers to put a swift end to the marriage. “How is Russell supposed to feel when he hears that his wife is out till all hours of the night,” says the insider. “He can only assume the worst.” And even though the singer wasn’t doing drugs herself, the source feels it showed really bad judgment. “Ruseell was a truly horrible addict. It’s a day-by-day struggle for him to stay sober and walk the right path now,” says the insider. “He’s really turned his life around, and he couldn’t let it be destroyed.”

Katy apepars to have had a long and complicated history with drugs. Although her parents [are] strict evangelical Christians, she revealed in 2009 that even they weren’t always on the straight and narrow. In fact her mom was, in Katy’s words, a “wild child rock ‘n’ roller, pot-smoking debutante,” and her dad was an “acid dealer with long hair.”

There’s no doubt that Katy was exposed to it all, even then. Her Gym Class Heroes singer ex, Travie McCoy, acknowledged his own addiciton and blogged about being in rehab. And a source claims he was a really bad influence on her. “Katy was really struggling when she was with him.” But “she promised her dad she would stay clean.”

Accordng to another insider, Russell saw changes in his wife over the past year. “She went from this sweet, adorable woman that he was madly in love with” to a needy person who surrounded herself with hangers-on who were using her, says an insider. And her behavior was getting increasingly erratic. “She’d throw back tequila shots, chain smoke… and have mood swings. He gave her an ultimatum: ‘Get rid of your hard-partying friends or lose me forever!’” It looks as if Katy made her choice.

[From Star, print edition, February 6. 2012]

Out of all of the tales thus far, this one speaks loudest about what we already knew was a problem in the marriage. That is, Katy really didn’t see the big deal in bragging about being wasted while her husband struggles daily with sobriety. It really speaks to her insensitivity and immaturity, and it sounds like Russell needed to get away for his own good.

Meanwhile, Us Weekly has a new story about Russell’s new single life in L.A., which is turning out to be quite the opposite of his “Lonely in London” routine. Apparently, Russell is already scoring all of the fly tail, but Us wants us to also believe that he’s spilling everything about his marriage to these random chicks:

Less than one month after filing to divorce wife of 14 months Katy Perry, Russell Brand has moved on.

The latest issue of Us Weekly (out Friday) has new details about the Brit comic’s bevy of new beauties, who have incensed his soon-to-be ex-wife Perry, 27.

“She discovered through her friends,” an insider tells Us of how Perry found out about 36-year-old Brand’s wandering eye. “One of the women told a friend of hers and it got back to Katy.”

And the Rock of Ages actor’s new ladies aren’t the only ones doing the talking. Brand — who blindsided Perry by filing for divorce December 30 — has been trashing her to his conquests.

“He’s spoken terribly about Katy to them,” the source says of Brand, who has sought out one particular woman to “explore a relationship” with. “[Russell] told her he wanted her to move in with him after the divorce is final,” confirmed the insider.

[From Us Weekly]

I don’t believe for a moment that Russell is already asking some chick to move in with him when the divorce finally goes through. Naturally, he’s probably shagging like crazy, and maybe he’s handing out some good lines to these chicks, but Russell clearly has no intentions of shacking up and getting serious with anyone in the near future. That would totally ruin the “lonely” image he’s worked so hard to project over the past month or so. The Mail has a bird’s eye and interior views of Russell’s new $1.9 million house, and it is a true “bachelor pad” with all of the trimmings. I doubt he will tie himself down while living there.

Now is Russell actually talking smack about Katy to his latest sexual conquests? The Us story really provides no details of what these women allegedly heard, and I really don’t think he’d be that insensitive to gossip about her at this stage while everything is still so raw. Sure, he might end up revealing certain tidbits in an upcoming book, but at this point, Russell is probably just getting laid, and I doubt he’s doing much talking about anything in the process.

Photos courtesy of Fame/Flynet and WENN

Katy Perry continues to keep a low profile in the wake of her divorce, but it won’t stay that way for long. She’s stepped out briefly with blue hair to film an Adidas commercial, and she’s currently scheduled to make her first official post-split appearance by performing at an HDNet party hosted by Mark Cuban that’ll go down in Indianapolis on Super Bowl eve. I wonder if eligible bachelor Tim Tebow will be in attendance? LMAO.

Behind the scenes, however, Katy is starting to freak out over potential fallout from her divorce. Us Weekly, which obviously got an inside scoop from the Perry camp on Russell’s alleged crazy wheelchair pr0n fetish a few weeks ago, has a new story out about how Katy is frantic with worry over the possibility of Russell talking all about their marriage in his next Booky Wook installment. Katy is reportedly scared that he’ll out her as a party monster, which won’t come so much as news to the world but may upset her parents and should probably be the least of her concerns.

After all, Russell gave Katy a “(glowing) appearance” at the end of Booky Wook 2: This Time It’s Personal, so it follows that she shouldn’t be surprised if Russell talks about the really bad stuff too if and when he decides to write a third book. I haven’t read the second Booky Wook, but I quite enjoyed the first one. It’s obvious that (unlike most celebrity memoirs) Russell is the one actually writing the prose — he really has a way with words, and his level of candor is relatively unmatched. However, it would really be a d-ck move to run Katy through the wringer that way. Obviously, she should’ve known (if she even bothered to read his first book) that he’s not much for privacy when she married him, but I still feel bad for anyone in her position that worries about an ex-spouse putting everything out there for the world to see. Anyway, here’s some good exerpts from the Us Weekly story:

As staff at the Beverly Hills Hotel frantically catered to every need of its A-list guests in town for the Golden Globes January 15, one particular patron required special attention: newly single Katy Perry, who was holed up in her suite, watching the show. “She had a DO NOT DISTURB sign on the door and you could ear people laughing in there,” says an insider, noting that a waiter with beer and champagne was headed toward her room. For the usually supersocial Perry, who had backed out of a scheduled appearance at the People’s Choice Awards four days earlier, the private party was out of character. “She really did want to go out,” a source tells Us of Perry, who live-tweeted about winners Downton Abbey, The Help‘s Octavia Spencer and Madonna, “but she was worried about running into Russell.”

No wonder. Multiple sources tell Us that Brand, 36 — who had returned to L.A. from his native London two days earlier — is working on the third installment of his Booky Wook series. And he plans to reveal all the sordid details of his 14-month marriage to Perry. “He wants to tell his side of the story,” says a pal of the British comic, who blindsided Perry with divorce papers Dec. 30. Adds another insider, “The book will cover his married life, the breakup and moving on. And I don’t think he plans on keeping the breakdown of the marriage a secret. Pardon the pun, but Russell is an open book. He doesn’t hide much.” Which is precisely Perry’s fear. Pals say the 27-year-old is panicking about just how much Brand will reveal. Says one source close to the couple, “there’s definitely stuff she doesn’t want out there.”

Brand has been quietly collecting material for his third memoir for years. In 2010 he joked, “Every time I get into trouble or something happens to me, I think, ‘That’s a chapter!’ I’ve alredy got three or four for Booky Wook 3‘ His impending divorce only pushed him to speed up the process. “In light of what happened,” says a source at the book’s publisher, HarperCollins, “Russell felt it was a good time to start putting material together.” And according to a Brand insider, he has plenty to work with. “For the past few months, he’s been recording audieo notes on his phone and documenting his feelings and experiences on video camera,” says the source, adding that Brand even videotaped a phone conversation he had with Perry before Christmas — right around the time of the couple’s expletive-filled final blowout that ended with them spending the holidays apart. (A rep denies Brand is in writing mode, telling Us, “Russell is not working another book and has no plans to do so anytime soon.”)

[From Us Weekly, print edition, January 30, 2012]

Well, I can see why Katy is worried, and she probably should be worried about this at some point. However, I think Russell is very well occupied at present with getting his new FX late-night talk show launched. Then again, he has also revealed to People that he won’t shy away from talking about his personal life in that venue either:

Barely two weeks after filing for divorce from Katy Perry, his wife of 14 months, Russell Brand appeared to back in the business of being amusing — promoting his new FX show “Strangely Uplifting” and sidestepping as best he could any questions about his personal life.

Asked how he’s doing, Brand, speaking to TV writers in Pasadena, Calif., replied, “Quite well, thank you. Are you asking because of recent events? You are making the mistake of seeing time as linear. The brilliant American author Kurt Vonnegut, he’ll tell you that if you imagine reality as experienced simultaneously, events become redundant.”

Brand, 36, said the goal of “Strangely Uplifting,” which is set to debut in April and consists of his discussing current events with a small audience, was to make people laugh and be happy.

Is he happy right now? With a smile, he said, “Yes, I am.”

Will “Strangely Uplifting” reflect what’s going on in Brand’s personal life?

“There will be inevitable biographical elements, because you can’t speak from anyone’s perspective but your own. Unless you bizarrely adapt some sort of avatar,” said the British comedian. “It’s like I can’t speak from the perspective of Angelica Huston. People would think I lack the appropriate authority if I said, ‘Oh, I had a tumultuous relationship with Jack [Nicholson, Angelica's former beau] and my father [late director John Huston].’ I am not qualified.”

He continued, “So there will inevitable be my experiences, I will speak from own my perspective. I live in this extraordinary country of yours. I’m not from here. It’s like the perspective of an alien trying to understand this peculiar time and this peculiar country. What I think, it’s a bit like ‘Mork and Mindy’.”

[From People]

In other news, Russell has brought his “Lonely in London” routine to L.A. in recent days, but it’s gotten really weird. The Mail has a story (and photos) about him having dinner alone at Boa Steak House, which is a really suspicious place to eat alone at since it’s usually surrounded by paps. Also, he’s a vegan. What the hell. I asked CB and Kaiser what they thought of these inconsistencies, and they just laughed. Kaiser says she doesn’t know what he’s trying to accomplish. At first, I thought Russell was merely trying to enjoy some solitude during his solo pap walks, but I have to admit that eating dinner alone at a paparazzi hot spot means he’s definitely looking for attention.

Here’s some more Lonely Russell photo updates, first featuring a walking cell phone chat in West Hollywood on 1/14:

Then on 1/15, Russell was spotted at the Langham Huntington Spa in Pasadena:

Finally, here’s Russell outside a Los Angeles medical building (VD check?) on 1/16:

Photos courtesy of Fame/Flynet

It’s the divorce that just won’t die, y’all. Until Katy Perry and Russell Brand both make comprehensive and unequivocal statements about their split (and who could honestly expect them to do so?), the rumors will only continue despite the fact that Katy herself has recently insisted to everyone that no one speaks for her (not even her family). Nice try, but people will talk, including her family.

So let’s do a quick recap of the latest updates. Moving vans have been spotted toting Russell’s belongings from he and Katy’s home to a very large house in Beverly Hills that is understood to be his new home. Likewise, Katy is said to have moved from the couple’s house as well into a new $1.9 million pad in the Los Feliz area. Katy has also reportedly been hiding out in Santa Barbara at her grandmother’s house because “Katy always runs to her granny when she’s in trouble. She’s been giving Katy a real dose of family love and strong advice about how to heal a broken heart.” Presumably, Katy also chose grandma because she won’t be running to the press like a certain set of parents.

In addition, a story that originated with Bang Showbiz reports that Katy knew nothing of Russell’s plans before he filed for divorce and thought their issues were down to “normal couple problems.” You know, normal stuff that isn’t wheelchair pr0n or strategic wedding ring removal. Now, In Touch is reporting that Katy has found her way back to the power of prayer, and she’s asking God to bring back Russell. Are the tabloids just getting lazy?

Katy prays for Russell to come back!

She turns to God in a last-ditch effort to save her marriage.

The family that prays together stays together — at least that’s what singer Katy Perry and her evangelical minister parents, Keith and Mary Hudson, are hoping. While many jilted brides would just tell their husbands to go to hell, Katy, who grew up in a devout Christian household, believes divine intervention could save her 14-month marriage to Russell Brand, 36. “Katy has said that she will do anything for a second shot,” reveals an insider close to the Hudsons.

All this despite the fact that over the course of their relationship, Katy, 27, grew increasingly frustrated by Russell’s wandering eye. Still, she’s willing to overlook her hubby’s major shortcomings. “You’ve got to be loving, bcause it is the love of God that draws anybody to change their mind,” Katy’s mom insists of her son-in-law’s decision to file for divorce. Although Russell was [the one who filed] for divorce, the insider says Katy’s family “isn’t blaming him.” And if there’s no last-minute miracle? “I’m going to be there for Katy no matter what, just like Jesus is there for us, no matter what,” reassures her dad.

[From In Touch, print edition, January 23, 2012]

Yeah, this story is crap and probably planted by Katy’s parents just like the hopeful Tim Tebow romance. If Katy’s smart, she’ll take awhile to get over the shock and hurt of divorce before pulling a JLo and hopping immediately back into a relationship. When Katy’s ready, there’ll no doubt be very little shortage of waiting candidates for their turn on the Perry Pony Ride. Even Daniel Radcliffe has revealed that he’s got a major crush on Katy, but I don’t think he’s really her type. Daniel is far too nice.

By the way, these aren’t new photos of Katy. I just wanted to dig up some 2010 award show pictures to mix things up a bit since she’s been out of the public eye since the split.

Photos courtesy of Fame/Flynet and WENN

Anyone ready for a new rumor about Katy Perry getting a new quickie boyfriend to get over her divorce Russell Brand? Well, here’s a really random one. Of course, it’s not entirely random because it would make total sense for Katy to date the dude in question — if it wasn’t merely two weeks after Russell filed divorce papers. Not even I can believe that Katy would move that fast.

Regardless of common sense, a new story (which originated in OK! Magazine) pushes the theory that Katy is now looking to get busy with Denver Broncos quarterback Tim Tebow. Like I said before, this match would ordinarily make a lot of sense. Both Katy and Tim both grew up in a very controlled religious environment (beyond football, Tebow’s also famous for being the inspiration behind the Tebow Bill, which is still pending but would allow homeschooled athletes to play for their district teams) and find themselves in the midst of inexplicable fame (yeah, I went there). Yes, this story is probably absolute nonsense, but it makes some sense in theory, so that’s probably why OK! is probably running with it. Naturally, Katy’s sketchy parents are said to approve of this newfound match as well.

Katy and Tim are scheduled to meet at her hometown church where she used to sing! Will it be love at first sight?

Katy Perry’s split from Russell Brand, 36, may still sting for the 27-year-old, but she’s wasting no time moving on and her parents – Keith and Mary Hudson – are 100 percent on her side. They’re even going as far as trying to set their daughter up with the Denver Broncos starting quarterback, Tim Tebow!

“[Katy's] mentioned on more than one occasion how much she likes Tim,” a source tells OK! magazine.”Katy’s mom firmly believes the best cure for heartache is to quickly fall in love again … In her mind, Tebow is the perfect guy for her daughter. He’s handsome, charming, intelligent and above all, a good Christian.”

Katy’s parents have gone as far as inviting Tim to speak at the church Katy used to sing at in Huntington Beach, Calif. Of course – when Katy will be there!

[From Hollywood Life]

Sure, I’ll believe that Katy will be the first one to move on, publicly at least. Who knows, Russell might already be shagging random babes, but he probably has at least enough decency to keep things under wraps for the immediate future. If and when Katy starts getting hot and heavy with a new guy, she’ll be shoving it down our collective throats.

However (and I could be wrong), I just cannot buy that Katy is moving on already. If she’s thinking about hooking up with Tebow to make Russell jealous, well, that won’t work at all. Look at what happened the last time she tried to call Russell’s bluff. He filed for divorce. And since Katy’s still reportedly looking to patch things up (she’s even supposedly called off her latest public appearance to that effect), this story just doesn’t wash … if for no other reason than that Tebow would (theoretically) be quite keen to start a family with any future lady love. And Katy don’t play that game, right?

Still, Tim Tebow is kind of cute. I’d probably go there if I was into sexual frustration.

Photos courtesy of Fame

As most people are quite aware of by now, Russell Brand filed for divorce from Katy Perry on Dec. 30, and I think Kaiser was correct when she pointed out that the only really surprising aspect was that Russell was the one who pulled the trigger. In retrospect, maybe Russell’s plans were clearer than they seemed due to his wavering ability to wear his wedding ring during the final months of marriage. While the absence of a ring alone doesn’t mean everything (after all, Prince William has never worn one), Russell either had a conscious or unconscious desire to leave the thing at home, and I think it said a lot that the guy went ringless on his one-year wedding anniversary while he was photographed alone and stalking the streets of NYC. Perhaps that was his way of getting back at Katy for being out of town on what should’ve been a romantic occasion. Then Russell was spotted a few weeks later wearing the ring at a sports event, but that’s probably because Katy said something about it to him. Not that I blame her at all, for I’d have done the same.

Now a (sort of) new video has surfaced of Russell in November while he was promoting a weeklong stand-up comedy tour of various U.S. colleges. From what I gather, the tour was sponsored in part by pr0n website Nudevista, which is where this video was originally posted. He rambles on for a few minutes and takes possible aim Katy’s parents with a joke about the New Testament — “the return of the son of God … that for me was diluted” — and then states the following:

“I am going to meet people from sororities and fraternities. I don’t know what a sorority is except for what I have seen on Nudevista – that they are sort of sex clubs for women. A week of revolution and, more importantly, I am going to learn first-hand about sororities.” [Russell takes off his wedding ring.] “I’m just going to place this somewhere very, very safe for the next week.”

At one point, I’d probably have considered Russell taking off his ring as merely a sly joke in the context of the video. However, the guy filed for divorce one month later, so maybe he was also trying to send a warning to Katy. Who knows if she ever saw the video, or if she even cared about it at all.

Meanwhile, Katy has pulled out of her first scheduled public appearance in the wake of the divorce. She posted a note on her Twitter page stating that she will not be attending Wednesday evening’s People’s Choice Awards:

Since filing for divorce from Perry on December 30, the British comedian has remained resolutely silent on his Twitter page.

However, estranged wife Perry came forward over the weekend to thank her fans for their support in the difficult times.

Perry also pulled out of what was scheduled to be her first public appearance since the split at the People’s Choice Awards, writing her apologies on Twitter.

But new claims have suggested Perry is considering flying into the UK in a bid to resolve things with her former spouse.

A source told Grazia magazine: “Katy was absolutely crushed by Russell’s decision. She’s furious after everything he’s done, but still insists there must be a way to reconcile and try to work things out. She told Russell that if he’d agreed to marriage counselling, they wouldn’t be in this mess and tried to persuade him to fly back to the States and meet her. She’s now considering jetting to the UK as she’s desperate to see him and talk to him. She said she can’t stand that everything has been done over the phone and says she needs to see him before she can truly accept it’s over.”

[From Daily Mail]

Has Katy decided to skip the awards show so that she can fly to London and beg Russell to call off the divorce? I sure hope she’s not that deluded and wouldn’t humiliate herself in such a way. From the looks of things, Russell is working on moving on with life. Yes, he’s been looking quite Lonely in London, but he’s been busying himself with making strides professionally by signing on to host his own late-night talk show on FX. Further, the man has actually filed for divorce. He’s done with the marriage.

Just for the hell of it, here are some “vintage” (early 2010) photos of Katy and Russell at the beginning of their misguided relationship.

Photos courtesy of Pacific Coast News and Fame/Flynet

When Russell Brand filed for divorce from Katy Perry on Dec. 30, many people assumed that the long pop cultural nightmare was over. No such luck. Instead, we’ve had to endure an endless dissection of their presumed relationship issues, which include Katy allegedly eschewing motherhood, Russell’s alleged wheelchair fetish, and a bunch of crap from last week’s tabloids. Now the blame game seems to have slowed to a dribble, and the pair are looking towards their own respective separate futures. On an immediate note, the Mail is reporting that organizers of this week’s People Choice Awards have “unceremoniously uninvited” Russell from the ceremony so as to avoid a potential showdown (as if) on the red carpet and not disturb “Katy’s big night” in her lead up to the Grammys. Something tells me that Russell (a.k.a., “Lonely in London“) isn’t too terribly torn up about this turn of events. Hell, this awards show probably wasn’t even on his radar.

In other Katy news, I’m actually starting to feel a bit of pity for her in one regard, which is that her parents are clearly using this divorce (just like the rest of Katy’s career) for their own financial advantage:

Katy Perry’s religious parents have managed to see something positive in the breakdown of their daughter’s one year marriage. The pair spoke about their daughter’s divorce for the first time – from the pulpit of their evangelical church, which was unusually packed it seems.

Pastors Keith and Mary Hudson were seen taking to the stage to speak out about their famous daughter and the audience appeared captivated. The ministers suggested her split with Russell Brand was a gift sent by God – to help them fill churches.

Mary, 63, preached to the Church on the Rise congregation in Westlake, Ohio: “I’m sure that Katy’s trending on the Internet was to get you here to church tonight. I mean all over the world, who knows how God is bringing them in? The most important thing is you are here and God wants to put the fire in you in 2012.”

Mary was dressed in an all black ensemble with over the knee bots and a black jumper which she accessorised with a chunky silver necklace. She and husband Keith, 63, billed themselves as “Katy Perry’s parents” in marketing materials for the event, reported CNN. They spoke for about 90 minutes to 300 worshippers in the first service since Katy’s split with the comedian on Friday. A video was shown before the Hudsons took the stage in Ohio showed them at award shows with Katy.

Keith told the crowd he converted from a drug user to a Christian when he was 24 years old. He added that his daughter’s success had helped the couple share their beliefs with Hollywood superstars. “What has taken place in my daughter’s life has opened many opportunities to go in and be with guarded and gated people. God has given us a platform to go in and meet people — and they like us because we are cool. We are not threatening.

“I love my daughter and I will always love her. Stop being judgmental and critical. Do not close the doors to your loved ones, especially your children. Just because they do not like what you do or what you are, they are still praying that you stay in the race. They are counting on you. I believe in God, for every one of my children.”

[From Daily Mail]

In response, Katy has taken to her Twitter account not only thank her fans for their support but also to dress down her family for talking out of school without permission:

I certainly can’t blame Katy for being so irritated with her parents, who have seen their own fortunes rise along with Katy’s career. It’s rather sickening that they have no problem exploiting their daughter’s personal life for their own financial gains, but this has been an ongoing problem with Katy’s family. Will they actually listen to their daughter this time? Probably not.

Photos courtesy of Fame and WENN