Katy Perry wants babies, y’all. Of course, it was only a few months ago (in September) when Katy pulled a baby bait-and-switch on Russell Brand by saying that she wanted kids “in the very far future,” and now it seems that Katy’s tune has changed yet again. While she’s not exactly raving about getting pregnant right this second (although some gossip sites would have you believe that she’s looking pretty knocked up already), Katy is talking about the possibility of gestation in more generous terms than usual. It’s all a ruse, probably, and an attempt to counteract all of those persistent split rumors that won’t stop until they get it right.

So how exactly does one of the most overrated pop stars in the world deal with the fact that one’s husband has ceased wearing his wedding ring in public? Oh, that’s easy. Just start raving about babies because, you know, that’s the easiest way to save a failing marriage. Eyeroll.

Picture your parents. Okay, now picture your parents as Katy Perry and Russell Brand.

Impossible, right? They’re just way too cool.

And yet before long, someone may very well be calling pink-haired Katy
and her irreverent British hubby Mom and Dad.

Appearing on The Ellen DeGeneres Show this past week, the “I Kissed a
Girl” songbird was asked if she’d like a family.

“Yeah, I would love to have children,” Katy, who turned 27 on Oct. 25, replied.

“I think that’s one of the reasons you get married, especially to the
person that you marry,” she added. “You think, ‘That person is going
to be a good partner, a good parent.’ ”

Russell, of course, has already gone on the record to say, “I would
one day like to become a father,” so they’re clearly on the same page.

And it looks as if – provided all goes well – Katy and Russell won’t
stop at one child. When Ellen asked if she wants “a lot of kids,” Katy
quipped, “If it doesn’t hurt the first time… I’ll keep popping them
out.”

What kind of parents will the unconventional couple turn out to be?

“Oh, my God, I think they’ll be outrageously fun, out-of-the-box
parents,” Debbie Gibson, who appears in Katy’s “Last Friday Night”
video, tells OK!. “But I think both of them, while they do have a
sense of fun, they’re really grounded, solid people, and I think
that’s great. Having met both of them, I totally get why they’re
together, and I love it.

“I imagine the two of them will always be very childlike, so I can’t
see them being too rigid. It’s going to be a fun-loving household.”

[From OK!]

Did anyone else read Russell’s hopeful statement about someday becoming a father and wonder whether he’s not already a father without even knowing it? I mean, the guy used to sleep with 90 women per month. At this point, it’s almost statistically impossible that not even one of his boys has succeeded in infiltrating an ovum. Then again, most of us were collectively surprised when Hugh Grant became a father for the first time at age 51, and Kaiser was right on with her surprise that Hugh hadn’t yet had a vasectomy. So maybe it is possible that Russell’s sperm has been, uh, saving itself for Katy. Ugh. I still think she’s only saying that she wants a ton of kids in an attempt to stop the rumors of her marriage’s demise.

Incidentally, Katy is quite good at faking many things. For instance, she sort of flubbed playing the recorder on “GMA,” but several YouTube commenters mention that Katy routinely performs this stunt in concert. If this really is a joke, it’s about as funny as Russell’s lame Candian entry joke from a few months back.

Photos courtesy of Fame and WENN

By now, you know the drill with Katy Perry and Russell Brand. The two have been married just over a year now, and their entire relationship has consisted of stolen weekends here and there as well as continual denials of a split and constant damage control on the part of their publicists. So of course, Katy and Russell spent 11/6 attending separate events on different continents. Katy attended the MTV Europe Music Awards 2011 (EMAs) in Belfast while Russell attended a Yahoo! Sports event in Los Angeles. At least he wore his wedding ring, unlike on their wedding anniversary, which he spent alone in NYC:

For appearance’s sake, both of them are still playing nice with the in-laws though. Much like Katy spent time last month with Russell’s mother, Russell’s own date to last week’s Friendly House gala lunchion (which honored him as “Man of the Year”) was Katy’s father, Keith Hudson:

Meanwhile, Katy was photographed on 11/4 flashing her panties (from underneath a very unflattering ensemble) in Scotland:

Still, it’s rather obvious that the couple is having problems at least from a “spending time together” standpoint. While their recent (un)romantic bike ride in NYC was part of a weekend refresher for the couple, it’s not very realistic to expect a marriage to hold together based upon a few days here and there. So allegedly, Katy and Russell are taking their marriage back to where it began; that is, the couple is heading back to India, where they became both engaged and married:

They’ve hardly been seen together in recent months, kept apart by busy work schedules, leading to speculation about the state of their marriage.

But Russell Brand and Katy Perry are reportedly planning a romantic trip back to where they tied the knot in a bid to spice up their relationship. The couple are said to be returning to India, where they got married in October last year.

According to a report in the Sunday Mirror comedy actor Russell has booked a holiday to the Aman New Dehli Hotel in the New Year to get their marriage back on track. The newspaper claims that Brand has booked a two-week stay in a pool-suite at the five-star hotel.

They have spent months apart due to their relentless work schedules. Russell has been working on back-to-back film projects since the summer while Katy has been traveling around the globe on her California Dreams tour.

Things have reportedly become so strained that friends have started to fear the worst for their relationship.

A source close to Katy revealed to the Sunday Mirror: “As part of Katy’s birthday present last week Russell booked a trip to the Aman resort in New Delhi for New Year. Katy’s schedule is jam-packed right until the end of the year. They plan to spend Christmas in Britain with Russell’s mum and then fly to India on holiday. Russell and Katy have both agreed that the time they spend apart has been extremely tough and that they need to spend some quality time away together so that they can re-connect as a couple.”

Last week they were spotted ­riding their bikes near their £1.68million pad in TriBeCa, New York – Katy’s 27th birthday providing an excuse for her to take a break from touring to spend time with her husband.

It’s said that the weekend in New York inspired the couple’s trip away to India, making them realise how distant they’d become.

The luxurious Aman New Delhi is described on its website as “a contemporary oasis of sophisticated calm providing extensive recreation, meeting and leisure facilities.”

A two-room pool suite costs just over £1,000-per-night, and other facilities at the hotel include three tennis courts, three squash courts, a pilates studio and a gym. The on-site spa offers a multitude of treatments, and there’s a golf course to the north of the plush hotel.

[From Daily Mail]

Uh-oh. Who really knows whether this story is true, but if it is, then this really could be make or break time for the marriage. How on earth will they actually spend extended time together when they clearly have been living very separate lives during the entirety of their marriage? After a few days of “togetherness,” maybe Katy will even grow so bored out of her skull that she’ll get wasted again while Russell shakes his head at the silly girl he has married. If this trip really happens, then we may very well expect a divorce announcement shortly thereafter. This cannot possibly turn out well.

Photos courtesy of WENN, Fame, and Katy’s Twitter

Well, Katy Perry and Russell Brand have somehow made it through one year of marriage without splitting, but that’s not really saying much considering that the couple very seldom co-exists in the same geographic location. She’s in the midst of a world tour, and he’s working on film sets. For now, that’s apparently okay for both of them.
Like I’ve said before — if these two ever start residing together in the same city on a regular basis instead of catching an occasional day together once per month, then they’ll sink or swim as a couple. You know, unless Russell continues to get affectionate with chicks and then accidentally on purpose shags some of them, which is completely possible too. Anyway, the couple continues to dismiss rumors of a split, and their publicists are also working overtime to let us know that everything is absolultely great in Brand-Perryland.

In addition, Katy and Russell aren’t above providing the public with occasional photo op together either. On Oct. 22, the two went for a romantic bike ride in New York City … only it didn’t look so romantic, really. Then again, it’s difficult to grope each other while riding separate bicycles. Perhaps that was part of the plan?

The next day was Katy and Russell’s one-year wedding anniversary, but she was nowhere to be found (and had likely jetted off for her next concert date). Instead, Russell walked the streets of NYC alone; he was very conspicuously missing his wedding ring.

Although, Russell did hide the incriminating ringless hand inside a pocket once he noticed the photogs.

So it comes to absolutely no one’s surprise that talk of trouble between Katy and Russell continues. This time, In Touch has heard from a mutual friend who alleges that Katy and Russell are fighting over her wild BFF, Rihanna:

While Katy parties, Russell gets serious. Their lives are at odds: “He’s a vegan who doesn’t drink or smoke, which means he rarely goes out — and she’s still young and wants to have fun,” says a friend.

While Russell Brand is away, Katy Perry will play — with best friend Rihanna! According to a friend, Katy — who’s on tour in Europe — secretly visited RiRi at her suite at London’s Savoy hotel from 2 a.m. to 5 a.m. on October 14. Reformed junkie Russell, 36, was said to be livid when he found out via his wife’s security staff. “He doesn’t like Rihanna’s influence on Katy,” says the friend. “He’s worried about their partying, and he had a huge fight with Katy about it.” According to the friend, this latest episode comes hot on the heels of a wild all-night bender the two pop stars went on after opeing the Rick in Rio music festival in Rio de Janeiro in September. “Russell told her then that she needs to grow up and sort herself out,” shares the friend.

And while Katy, 27, understands that her husband still struggles with his addiction demons, the friend adds Katy feels that she and Rihanna, 23, work so hard that they deserve to innocently meet for drinks. “We’re friends and we’re both kind of on this crazy roller coaster,” Katy says of Rihanna.

But it looks like Russell strong-armed her into behaving — at least for now: She took his mom, Babs, to the theater the next evening for a girls’ night out in London.

[From In Touch, print edition, November 7, 2011]

If this story is true, then I think Russell is crossing the line by not wanting her to hang out with Rihanna if all they’re doing is having a few drinks togeher. Yes, RiRi is a mess and I do find it interesting that Rihanna didn’t attend Katy and Russell’s wedding (although she provided a somewhat work-related but still pretty lame excuse), so maybe Russell hasn’t liked Rihanna for quite some time. Certainly, he was well aware when he got together with Katy that she and Rihanna were thick as thieves, so to speak. Just like he was already aware that Katy was much younger than him and also liked to drink and party too. In all fairness, he probably had no idea that his wife would get publicly wasted and brag about it in public at the MTV awards. So I guess maybe Russell does have a right to be irritated with Katy’s behavior to a degree, but he still married a very immature girl and now has to either deal with it … or get the hell out.

Photos courtesy of Pacific Coast News and Fame

Here’s Katy Perry out with her mother-in-law, Barbara Brand, outside Nobu restaurant in London last night. The two went to a showing of the musical Ghost on the West End and were caught by paparazzi after their dinner together. I think it’s so nice that Katy is holding hands with her MIL. Mrs. Brand is so pretty and nicely dressed without looking plastic or showy at all. In terms of Katy’s look, it’s not her worst. She’s still trying to work that cotton candy hair she’s had for the past few weeks. It all looks so matchy-matchy with the fuchsia jacket and dress, but it was obviously what she was going for and the result is kind of humorous and sweet. At least she’s covered up for a night out with Russell’s mom and her tits aren’t hanging out all over the place.

Katy Performed on the UK’s X-Factor on Sunday night, but I guess it didn’t do much to boost the show’s ratings. People were gossiping that she wasn’t wearing her wedding ring, but maybe we can assume that things are ok between her and Russell since she wore it when she went out with his mom the next night. Or maybe that’s what Katy is hoping we’ll think. Here’s more:

On Sunday night, the 26-year-old pop singer belted out an acoustic version of The One That Got Away on the X Factor.

Taking to the stage with a guitar in hand, her wedding ring was nowhere to be seen.

This instantly fuelled gossipmongers on Twitter, claiming the significance of her ring missing must mean there are troubles in paradise for the Brands.

One Twitter user wrote: ‘Katy Perry wearing no wedding ring. Shame cos they had a lot in common. He kissed girls and liked it too. #Xfactor.’

Another added: ‘Katy Perry- no wedding ring and singing about the one who got away…subliminal messages?? #XFactor.’

Russell was unable to make Monday night’s girly trip as he is currently touring Canada with his comedy show Russell Brand Live.

However, Katy’s message couldn’t have been clearer as she didn’t stop beaming in her mother-in-law’s company and made sure to flash her ring finger to the paps to show its absence was most likely just a wardrobe decision on Sunday night.

The two ladies clearly had a good time in each other’s company and after the theatre headed to London’s trendy Nobu restaurant.

[From Metro.co.uk]

I tend to believe that Katy and Russell are having trouble. He looked kind of dazed during their appearance at the VMAs and she recently changed her tune about wanting to have kids. At least she’s trying to make nice with Russell’s mom while he’s far away touring. I wonder how long they’ve been apart for this time.

Photo credit: Fame Pictures

The life of a recovering addict is never an easy path, and once one has finally been clean and sober for years, it’s still difficult to shake the reputation that comes with the associated arrests and other related unsavory, dark-alleyed tidbits. Dealing with unfriendly customs agents has to be one of the least appealing aspects of the entire affair, which is an experience not unknown to Russell Brand, for he was deported from Japan in May of this year, which made wife Katy Perry oh-so-sad. So it came to absolutely no one’s surprise when Russell took to his Twitter account last night to once again complain about the injustices of international travel for a recovering drug addict with an extensive (yet relatively distant) history of trouble with the law:

Apparently, Russell was only joking though; the real reason that he had to disappoint 5000 Canadian fans at Casino Rama, Orillia was plane trouble:

Russell Brand made waves on the internet by tweeting he had been forced to postpone a show in Ontario because he was denied entry into Canada – but it turns out the British comedian was joking.

The 36-year-old comic, last seen in a remake of Arthur, told fans via Twitter on Saturday that his show at Casino Rama in Orillia, north of Toronto, had to be put off.

But after media reports of Brand’s ban claim spread over the internet and in the media, the casino and Canadian border officials offered a different story.

Casino Rama said the U.K. funnyman was in California and his private jet was experiencing problems, making it difficult for him to get to Orillia in time.

In an email to CBC News on Sunday, a spokesman for Public Safety Minister Vic Toews confirmed the Canada Border Services Agency did not deny Brand entry into Canada.

“Apparently he had aircraft problems and was making a joke,” spokesman Michael Patton wrote.

A self-confessed heroin addict in recovery, Brand was arrested in 2001 and charged with criminal damage and indecent exposure after stripping naked while covering the May Day protests for MTV. Those charges were eventually dropped.

The comedian has a dozen arrests under his belt, including one for suspected battery charges after he allegedly attacked a photographer.

[From CBC News]

It’s amazing what a news story that Russell’s “denied entry” turned into, and I’m not quite sure what the fallout will be after the “joke” aspect fully settles into the public consciousness. Most people will probably shrug their shoulders with a “meh,” but I’m slightly disappointed that Russell bothered to make such a lame joke. Usually, he’s quite funny, but there’s nothing amusing (especially for his jilted fans) about this little stunt. Hell, he couldn’t even properly light the photo (and I’ve already adjusted the contrast quite a bit) of him standing next to the map.

Step it up, funnyman.

Photos courtesy of Fame, WENN, and Twitter

In the wake of Beyonce and Jay-Z’s baby-tastic VMA love-fest, the comparison to relative newlyweds Russell Brand and Katy Perry was stark. People noticed too – and I mentioned it in yesterday post. They seemed… like they were moving at different speeds, like they have nothing in common and they’re just starting to realize that their marriage is based on… chance, availability and lust. My take was that Rusty didn’t want to be there, that he seemed uncomfortable and “over it”. Like, he didn’t even really want to touch her or kiss her – he pulled his hand away like she burned him. CB thought that he seemed guilty, especially when Katy won Video of the Year and she gave Rusty a shout-out:

At the end, it just looked like Rusty was “acting”. I don’t know. It’s just body language reading. Plus, Katy kept talking about how drunk she was, which I tend to think it one of the bigger problems in this marriage – Rusty doesn’t do anything anymore, no liquor, no drugs, no smoking. Katy does it all. Anyway, somebody’s publicist called around to push the story that Katy and Rusty had a lovely, romantic evening together:

Katy Perry was the belle of the ball at Sunday’s MTV Video Music Awards at the Nokia Theatre in L.A. Not only did the 26-year-old “California Gurls” singer pick up her first two Moonmen trophies, including Video of the Year (“Firework”) and Best Collaboration (“E.T.” with Kanye West), but she also turned the awards show into a romantic date night with hubby of 10 months Russell Brand, 36.

“Russell and Katy were by each other’s side all night,” an eyewitness tells Us Weekly. Seated in front of fellow lovebirds Selena Gomez and Justin Bieber, the spouses “had their arms linked and their hands intertwined. They seemed really happy and were just smiling and beaming at each other.”

Throughout the show, the eyewitness notes, “they were whispering in each other’s ears and giggling — it looked like they had private jokes to share.”

Brand looked “genuinely touched, almost tearful” when his bride won her first award, and Perry was equally proud of the heartfelt speech her husband gave during the Amy Winehouse tribute.

“Not only was he providing the beautiful color palette that Amy was, but also providing a realistic point of view and giving hope to anybody out there that felt like they needed hope,” the singer told reporters backstage. “I thought it was really well-rounded and smart, and that’s why I married him. He is smart and I learn a lot.”

[From Us Weekly]

Russell is smart. Smarter than the average comedian and actor, smarter than most people, I tend to think. But he’s dumb about women. All he sees is T&A, and he doesn’t bother with the conversation, I think.

Anyway, maybe everybody is overreacting, maybe their marriage is fine. Maybe they were really and truly loved up the whole night. Maybe they were lovely-dovey because it was their first evening together in the same city in months?

Photos courtesy of Fame & WENN.

Katy Perry brought three costume changes and her husband to the VMAs last night, and only the costume changes wanted to be there. Maybe Katy and Rusty were just having an off-night. Maybe Rusty is really screwing around on Katy with that blonde chick. Maybe I’m misreading it. But it just seemed like Rusty was over it. Anyway, Katy walked the black carpet in Atelier Versace. I… uh… didn’t hate it. Katy did the faux Pop Art/cartoon thing and it kind of worked. The little dress kind of worked on her. My biggest complaint about this look was Katy’s hair and her makeup. First of all – that’s really her hair, isn’t it? That’s not a wig. And that’s why it looks so bad and damaged. She should really take better care of her hair, you know? The makeup – it was just oo matchy-matchy, the perfect shade of blue and pink to match the dress. It was overkill.

After that, Katy changed into a Tom Ford (purple gown), a Dior (skirt and cardigan ensemble), and a Johnny Wujek dress for her win for Video of the Year (for “Firework”). The Wujek dress is below – it’s my least favorite. My favorite is the Versace.

Katy also won Best Collaboration, for “E.T.” with Kanye West. Kanye seemed to be in especially good spirits last night, hanging with Jay-Z, showing humility when he won with Katy, and supporting his friends and fellow artists. Kanye was on his best behavior, basically. I just thought I’d mention it.

Photos courtesy of WENN.

Over the weekend, Bedhead, CB and I were chatting about this story on Radar – it featured a photo of Russell Brand walking along some street with his arm wrapped around a woman. Rusty was kissing this woman’s head, and it all looked rather intimate and sweet… until you think, “Hey, isn’t he married? To Katy Perry?” Well, we just got some of the photos of Rusty and this chick, and it still looks… suspicious. The girl’s name is Sadie Turner, and apparently, Sadie and Rusty have been friends for a while. British sources even say that she’s one of Brand’s old rehab buddies… meaning that she’s clean now, I guess. Look, I’m not saying men and women can’t be friends, and I’m not saying that a married man can’t put his arm around a woman other than his wife. I’m just saying… if this was your husband, would you be pissed? Peeved? Hiring an attorney?

While his wife Katy Perry was performing a show in Kansas City on her California Dreams Tour on Wednesday night, Russell Brand was keeping busy in Los Angeles getting cozy with another woman — who RadarOnline.com has identified as Sadie Turner.

In the images, Brand is seen with his arms around the beautiful and causally clad blonde, walking down a tree lined street in Los Angeles.

Both Brand and Turner, who sources tell RadarOnline.com have known each other for years, have huge smiles splashed across their face and at one point, the Get Him To The Greek actor plants a kiss on her head.

Brand, 36, and Perry, 26, were married on October 23, 2010, in Rajasthan, India, during a Hindu-themed ceremony.

[From Radar]

It’s probably nothing. Nothing, right? Just two friends, being friendly and affectionate. It’s not like Russell Brand has several “Shagger of the Year” trophies at home. It’s not like his marriage is based on the idea that he simply wanted to see what a committed, monogamous relationship was like for a change, and that this “husband” persona will be outgrown as well. It’s not like there are constant rumors about how Rusty and Katy spend months apart, how they’ll divorce by the end of the year, or how they were already in couples counseling just months into their marriage. It’s nothing.

Photos courtesy of Fame.

In the wake of Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony’s split, many people remarked that theirs was a marriage and a relationship that the tabloids rarely reported on. Sure, Marc and Jennifer got some tabloid covers occasionally, but for the most part, they pushed their relationship in our faces more than the media did. So it was surprising to some of us (me) when J. Lo and Marc split… which got me thinking: who are the couples that I will not be surprised if and when they split? Russell Brand and Katy Perry are definitely in my top-ten “couples that won’t make it much longer”. Other couples in my top ten: Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner, Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin, Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore, and Fergie and Josh Duhamel. Just my opinion!

Anyway, back to Rusty and Katy: there was a new round of rumors about the two of them being on the verge of a split. A few weeks ago, Bedhead reported Star Magazine’s claim that Rusty and Katy will split within four months, and now there seem to be some British tabloids having a go with similar stories. Both Katy and Rusty took to their respective Twitters (they’re still thousands of miles apart, I believe) to bash the rumors:

Katy Perry and Russell Brand have endured countless break-up rumours since they tied the knot in October last year. And whispers of a split have increased in recent months because the pair have spent more and more time apart due to their busy schedules. But after a recent report claiming the couple were trying a trial separation, Katy has hit out, insisting that her marriage of just eight months is just fine.

The 26-year-old, who married the 36-year-old actor in a ceremony in India in October last year, said that just because the couple kept their relationship private, it didn’t mean there was trouble in paradise.

Taking to her Twitter page to put the rumours to rest, she wrote: ‘Just cause we don’t flaunt our relationship doesn’t mean there’s something wrong w/it. Privacy is our luxury. #tabloidsrtrash #gossipisgross.’

Brand later supported his wife and wrote a message on his own Twitter page.

He wrote, referring to the current phone hacking scandal surrounding former tabloid newspaper, News Of The World: ‘You tell em Mrs Brand! In Britain we’re currently dismantling the scum media so I’m not tuned in to their brain-farting.’

The couple’s statements come as it was claimed earlier this month that the pair were considering a trial separation in a bid to keep their relationship on the right track. A source told Heat magazine that Katy had confided: ‘We’re thinking of taking a break from our marriage. I’m worried it could be the end of the road for us.’

At the time, their spokesperson vigorously denied the claim.

The couple have been plagued with reports their marriage isn’t working ever since they tied the knot last October after a whirlwind one year long-distance romance. In the last few months both Katy and Brand have had busy schedules – Katy has been on her California Dream world tour for weeks, and Russell has been busy filming Rock Of Ages in Miami. But in an interview with Vanity Fair magazine earlier this year, Katy insisted she trusts her husband implicitly, despite his lothario past.

She said: ‘There’s never a dull moment. He has never lied to me once. I trust him; there’s just a level of trust that we’ve built up.’

However, in an interview on Piers Morgan’s Life Stories at the beginning of the year, Brand said staying faithful for the rest of his life was a daunting prospect.

He admitted: ‘I take it one step at a time – like with drugs, like with alcohol. Don’t look at things as in “rest of life”. Of course marriage is for life and that’s what I wanted but anything for the rest of life can be daunting.’

[From The Mail]

As Bedhead eloquently stated in her last Katy Perry story, it’s basically about time together and time apart for these two. I’m sure they can make the marriage last superficially if they’re only spending one night together a month (if that). If they’re never together, they can’t split up. Sure, I’m saying this because my original guess was that they’d never make it this long. But I’m holding with my theory that this marriage won’t last. I guess that makes me gross and trashy, according to Katy Perry. But guess what words I’d use to describe her?

Photos courtesy of Fame & Pacific Coast News.

From the very beginning of their whirlwind courtship, Katy Perry and Russell Brand gave off vibes of knowing they were working against the odds of a successful long-term pairing. Still, they persisted in a quickie marriage before Russell returned to his movie star career, and Katy departed for a nine-month, candy-themed, pop-star tour. Naturally, subsequent issues have arisen. He doesn’t like that she still smokes and parties without him, and she worries that he will cheat during her tour. Hence the rumors that they were already seeking couple therapy three months in because, essentially, they got married when they had a free weekend and then resumed their own respective life paths. Naturally, it didn’t help matters that Russell got deported from Japan during one of their rare shagging opportunities. And perhaps it really was a bad omen when Katy developed a mysterious rash during their honeymoon. Whatever the ultimate cause (and I suspect that there are indeed many), Star predicts that tensions (and distance) between the couple are so high that they’ll be divorced before their marriage hits the one-year mark.

Any long-distance relationship is hard. Now imagine photos of your far-away husband holding hands with a mystery blonde splashed around the globe! That’s exactly what happened to Katy Perry when pics surfaced of her husband of eight months, Russell Brand, looking very chummy with a woman on the set of his new movie, Rock of Ages. The woman is reportedly a stylist on the film and a platonic friend, but it’s just the latest issue for a couple who have seen each other only a handful of times during the past four months and are leading separate lives.

And things are not getting better. Katy and Russell will spend only four days together in the next six months, Star has learned. “Neither of them thought about the crushing reality of their demanding careers or the effect it would have on the marriage,” a mutual friend tells Star exclusively. “They love each other, but they’re barely ever together.” That has raised questions about whether the marriage can survive.

Just recently, they managed to carve out a rare three days together in Miami, where Russell is living as he films his movie, costarring Julianne Hough and Tom Cruise. Katy’s schedule is no less hectic. After performing in the Bahamas, she was thrilled to have a brief break in her grueling California Dreams tour, which began in February and has recently been extended through November.

Their blissful weekend was agonizingly short for the newlyweds, and their jam-packed calendars are only getting worse. Indeed, their marital home in Los Feliz, Calif., hasn’t been occupied for along time, leading Katy to wonder if they even have a marriage at all, says a source. But neither Katy nor Russell is giving up yet — and they just purchased a $6.5 million mansion in the Hollywood Hills, despite the fact that they will rarely be there together. On top of that, there’s the issue of that recent photograph. “Katy wants to save the marriage, but she is starting to think that if she’s not physically there, Russell will be cozying up to other girls because he’s a guy who needs human contact and reassurance.”

Oceans and overseas concerts aren’t the only things driving a wedge between the colorful couple. Many close to Katy worry that impulsive Russell rushed her into marriage, only to default on his promises. “It was all Russell’s doing,” a mutual friend says of Katy and Rusell’s whirlwind romance. “He is a recovering addict and in love with the idea of being in love. He told her that they’d overcome any obstacle. Katy’s actually very young and impressionable compared to him, so when he said, ‘Let’s get married! What could possibly go wrong, we’re so in love!’ she was totally taken in.”

[From Star, print edition, July 18, 2011]

This story seems to piggyback upon all of the previous questions about this marriage with the flimsy fact that Russell was being platonically (for him) affectionate on the set of Rock of Ages. Do I think that he’s banging this stylist? No. Do I think he’ll eventually bang someone other than Katy? Yep.

Other than Russell’s notorious shagging reputation (which, honestly, he seems to have curbed), the distance seems to be the real issue at hand here. While I don’t think that the situation is extreme enough that Katy and Russell will divorce within the next four months, I think there might be some regrets on Katy’s end. Certainly, they were both aware of the fact that they’d spend a great deal of time apart, but it’s always different when you’re actually going through it. If these two are right for each other, they’ll work it out, but we all know that’s probably not the case. Still, I think Katy’s probably too stubborn at this point to reveal to the public that she married (the wrong guy) too quickly, so she’ll probably hang on for at least another year or so. I mean, if they’re already physically “separated,” what use to her is a divorce at this point? Now, when (and if) they actually start spending time together, then they’ll figure out whether or not they get along well enough to remain married.

Now, I’m going to go off on a slight tangent. To compare (in the very vaguest sense of the word) Katy and Russell’s situation to a military marriage, a lot of couples can endure lengthy deployments and mobilizations, but it’s the reunion period that causes even more marital tension. Similarly, Japan’s so-called “Retired Husband Syndrome” also illustrates that a marriage can be tested by time apart, but the real definitive element exists in how the couple handles their newly acquired time together. And when this happens for the couple in question, perhaps it will then be time for Russell to realize that Katy is not so endlessly fascinating after all.

Photos courtesy of Fame Pictures