I totally missed Saturday Night Live last night, because I’m an old fart, etc. Justin Timberlake was hosting, with Lady Gaga as the musical guest. I’ve been watching clips from last night’s show, I think the most-talked about skit will probably be Andy Samberg and JT making another classic ‘80s-style music video, like “D-ck in a Box” and “Mother Lover”. This one was called “The Golden Rule” and it featured absolutely AMAZING overalls and Lady Gaga as “the girl”.

I have to admit… my favorite part of that was Gaga. That’s a hint of the old Gaga. I mean, she looked like drunken, cracked-out hell, but she was hilarious and she sold it, beautifully. And her voice is so suited for these cheesy ‘80s songs. She was brilliant here. JT and Samberg were pretty wonderful too.

And then Gaga performed “Edge of Glory” and “Judas” and for her second performance, “Born This Way”. The egg came out again. Gaga is “hatched” this way.

I’m telling you, “Edge of Glory” is one of the better ‘80s power ballads. It totally belongs as the theme song for a Karate Kid-type film. Meanwhile, “Judas” just sucks. Hard.

Bumper photos from SNL.

Mike Walker in the National Enquirer gets a lot of insider entertainment scoops. He was the first to report that a Wall St. sequel was in the works, for example. So this story could be true or it could be wishful thinking. Either way, it could work out well for Saturday Night Live. The lovely and talented Tina Fey is supposedly being courted to take over for SNL head Lorne Michaels whenever it is that Michaels retires. They would be incredibly lucky to have her:

NBC bigs are wooing “Rock” star/creator/Bossypants Tina Fey, former “Saturday Night Live” head writer, to take over the whole “SNL” shebang whenever exec producer Lorne Michaels, 66, retires from the show he created in 1975. (Let’s stand up and shout, America, “Yay!”) Said an NBC source: “The execs feel no one’s better qualified to take over the reins than Tina. Having her onboard guarantees the show’s success after Lorne leaves.” Insiders say Tina, who’s pregnant with her second child, loves the idea of helming “SNL” – and because the show takes many breaks throughout the season, it fits her mommy schedule perfectly.

[From The National Enquirer, print edition, Mike Walker's column, May 2, 2011]

SNL sucks lately. The few times I’ve watched it recently I’ve wondered why the jokes didn’t have proper punchlines and why the skits went on about twice as long as they should have. (There have been some funny bits where they rip on celebrities, but they’re few and far between.) Of course Tina would do a great job at making the show both entertaining and topical again. She won a lot of Emmys for her work on the show and she brought it to new heights in the early 2000s. She may have too many other things going on to consider it, though.

We recently heard Alec Baldwin say that next year would be the last one for 30 Rock, because the contracts were ending. Kaiser thinks Alec was just trying to negotiate for a better contract. She also told me that last night was the 100th episode of 30 Rock and that it was really good. You know, I’d rather see Tina branch off into her other endeavors than come back and save SNL. I feel like that show has run itself into the ground and doesn’t deserve saving. It needs to fade out when Michaels leaves.

Tina is shown on 4/11/11. Credit: Fame. Lorne Michaels is shown on 2/28/11. Credit: WENN.com

This weekend’s Saturday Night Live hosted by Miley Cyrus included a few very mild barbs aimed toward Lindsay Lohan’s latest foibles. Compared to the stuff that late night talk show hosts, comics, bloggers, judges, prosecutors, random preteens on Twitter and anyone who has ever “worked” with her says about her, it was very minor. During Miley’s opening skiton SNL she sang “I never stole a necklace or got a DUI .. never cheated on wife like that golfer guy … so what if you can see a little boob from the side … I’m sorry if I’m not perfect.” Instead of “I never,” Miley could have substituted “I haven’t yet” for accuracy. Miley also made an appearance as Lindsay on the Charlie Sheen spoof show “Duh, Winning!” That’s at about 1:00 to go in the video above. (Only plays for US visitors.) She joked “My new movie Herbie opened 68 months ago and the Los Angeles Court House just gave me my own parking spot. Winning! Duh!” She also grabbed some “baby urine” from Sheen, presumably for help with an upcoming drug test.

That was enough to upset Lindsay, who hosted Saturday Night three times between 2004 and 2006. (Which apparently never prepared her to graciously accept her status as a punchline staple). According to TMZ, which has been running stories from the Lohan camp for weeks, Lindsay considers creator Lorne Michaels “a mentor and father figure” and has “fired off an [email] to… Michaels – explaining she was disappointed with him for allowing Miley Cyrus to take digs at her on the show. [She] felt betrayed that he would let Miley mock her on TV [and] sent an email to let him know she was upset.”

Meanwhile the case of the purloined necklace is still happening. The jeweler has sold a copy of the surveillance tape showing Lindsay in the store to Entertainment Tonight, and they insist that the public release of the tape does not violate the law and will only help their case. Lindsay’s people of course insist that the tape vindicates her and that she was either loaned the necklace or forgot she was wearing it.

Only that latest excuse doesn’t hold water when you view the tape. ET had on famed lawyer Marcia Clarke, (you can view Marcia’s analysis here) who reviewed the tape and noted that Lindsay touched her neck repeatedly after she put the necklace on along with her own necklace. According to Clarke, that is a strong indicator of intent and the fact that Lindsay was conscious of the necklace being there. Clarke says that Lindsay should try to use the same excuse she gave at the beginning of this debacle – that the necklace was lent to her, a claim that the jeweler strongly denies and that isn’t supported by the tape. As Clarke explains, if Lindsay was loaned the necklace, she would have been shown on tape filling out paperwork, and it would have been wrapped up prior to handing it over. As it is, it looks like she intentionally stole it. For a probation violation like this one, Clarke says that you don’t need proof beyond a reasonable doubt and you don’t get a jury trial. “All you need is a preponderance of evidence. That means that she could get jail time even if this case never goes to trial.” Clarke thinks Lindsay might squeeze through however.

Some light jokes on Saturday Night Live are the least of Lindsay’s problems. How is she going to handle the jeers and catcalls she’s sure to get from the other women in jail? Is she going to cry and talk about how upset she is when she gets teased by the corrections officers? “You hurt my feeeelings! I’m innocent! Don’t you know that I’m a celebrity?”

Update: here’s a clip of the surveillance video as shown on ET. From what I can tell it doesn’t show much except for in the preview that follows. Warning: this will launch sound about :38 seconds after the video starts playing. Mute it if you want to make sure that the sound doesn’t play.

Lindsay is shown on 2/24/11 with her “mom” Dina visiting a lawyer she used to work with. Credit: MAC/Fame.

Jennifer Aniston and Adam Sandler were on Oprah yesterday to promote Just Go With It, which comes out next weekend. They were surprisingly cute together – Adam and Jennifer did a lot of their junket interviews together, and they have a very easy chemistry together, and you can tell they enjoy each other’s company. Apparently, they’ve been friends for 20 years, although I couldn’t really understand the story Adam told about how they first got to know each other. Something about a friend in common and matzah and Aniston coming to see Adam do stand-up? Something like that. Also: I love LOVE that Adam Sandler only refers to her as “Aniston”. For some reason, that cracks me up. Never “Jen” or “Jennifer”. Always “Aniston”.

During the course of the interview, some new information came up that I found interesting. Well, it’s new information to me. Maybe some of you already knew it. Sandler claimed that before Friends got picked up (probably around the spring of 1994), Aniston came in to meet Lorne Michaels, and she was offered a cast position on Saturday Night Live. Sandler said: “We wanted Aniston to be on the show with us. I remember being on the ninth floor where [SNL exec] Lorne Michaels’ office was, and seeing Jen come in. I was like, ‘Oh my God, there’s Aniston. Is she about to be on our show?’” Aniston then confirmed that she did get an offer, and said that she had said “no” because she believed in Friends, and thought the show was going places, although everyone thought she was making a huge mistake by turning down the SNL offer.

It was a nice little “what if?” moment – what if Aniston had joined SNL? Well, she probably would have had to get out of the contract when Friends got picked up, so it would have been the same anyway. But Aniston could have been Ana Gasteyer! Perish the thought.

Photos courtesy of WENN.

The Goop’s big gig hosting Saturday Night Live got overshadowed by the Golden Globes the next night, which she didn’t attend. I wouldn’t have been surprised to see her pinched face presenting something, but she was probably busy baking cupcakes for a bake sale or feeding her children flax oil. I’m not a big fan of SNL and I find that the bits run on too long with too little payoff in terms of humor, but Gwyneth wasn’t bad. She can act and she’s good at doing comic bits, as we saw on Glee. I think she could find a home on television in some kind of thinly veiled sitcom that panders to her need to seem like a do-it-all supermom. Maybe she could even poke fun at herself. She did some of that on SNL and it served to humanize her a little. There was still the stench of try hard about her, which has pretty much characterized her entire press tour for the poorly reviewed and little seen Country Strong. (I’m pretty sure I jacked that opinion from Lainey.) Anyway they opened the show with a duet with “Kenny Rogers” in which she pretended not to know the words to Islands in the Stream. Cee-Lo Green came out and joined in, but the much anticipated “Forget You” duet never happened.

Gwyneth played a snooty socialite in the next spoof of a 50s game show. She had a couple of funny lines.

And in another bit Goop played Taylor Swift performing at a Bah Mitzvah. She exclaimed “I’m a foot taller than the tallest guy here” and proceeded to sing a Jewish-themed You Belong With Me.

Then Gwyneth played a record executive who used creative substitutions for swear words. This bit was a dud.

As a “songwriter” to Garth and Kate, Gwyneth was just as annoying and cringe worthy as those two. I guess that’s the point but I didn’t get it.

Then The Goop got her bitchface on to play a Spanish announcer on Sports Center. You know this was her idea, since she showcases her Spanish language skills at every opportunity. The whole gag involved them sounding Spanish until they had to pronounce English words and phrases, during which they used heavy American accents. It was dumb except for the faux commercial, which cracked me up.

In the last bit she played Heidi Klum hosting a show with Eliot Spitzer and put on her default smug face again. She did an ok impression of Heidi but this wasn’t funny.

Verdict: Try hard as usual, but not bad. She should be on TV.

I also have to include this digital short with Andy Samberg and PeeWee Herman. It was clever and included a cameo by Anderson Cooper. This was the best part of the show.

I’ve been hearing that Kanye West has a new “girlfriend” but I kind of thought it was bullsh-t. Kanye has apparently been seeing model Selita Ebanks for months now, allegedly. These photos are of Selita and Kanye last night at the New Yorkers for Children Fall Gala. Maybe they started dating right after he and Amber Rose split up, I don’t know. But I do know that Selita is a major upgrade from Amber – Selita is actually an established model with her own profile (who has already been engaged to one other high-profile man, Nick Cannon), and she doesn’t have to hustle with Kanye’s ego to get work. What the hell, then?

Kanye West has been known to easily jump from one beautiful lady to the next. But contrary to popular knowledge his latest muse Selita Eubanks has been around for almost a year.

A source close to West exclusively tells Entertainment Reporter LaShonda Matlock that “His ex-girlfriend Amber Rose was very aware of his budding new relationship with Selita towards the end of their relationship. Kanye has been with Selita for over eight-months now. And Kanye’s time in Hawaii was not alone, Selita was there.”

The source goes on to state that “Selita seems to be a good fit for Kanye” and that “Amber was leaking gossip and rumors about him to the media for a price.”

So now that numerous sightings of the low-key couple are appearing in Page Six, it’s no shocker that all the reports about the Eubanks changing West are for the positive. Page Six even went on to state today: “Selita Ebanks is Kanye West’s new muse. They’ve denied they’re dating, but Ebanks stuck close to West during the weeks he guest-edited XXL magazine’s October issue. She accompanied him to photo shoots and helped make page edits, insiders said.”

[From Chicago Now]

Eh. Sure. I mean, Kanye is gay, right? Or is he really hittin’ it with Amber and Selita and various women? Gay or straight, Kanye is one strange bird.

In other Kanye news, the announcement came out yesterday that he’ll be a musical guest star on Saturday Night Live. He’ll be on the second episode of the season, with guest Bryan Cranston (who I’m worried about – can he do live comedy?). This is newsworthy because in Kanye’s single “Power” he blasts SNL: “F— SNL and the whole cast. Tell ‘em Yeezy said they can kiss my whole a– / More specifically, they can kiss my a——.” Way to stick to your principles, Kanye.

Kanye and Selita on Sept. 21, 2010. Credit: WENN.

If I remember correctly (because I don’t care enough to look it up), I believe Lindsay Lohan’s current drug-testing, peeing-in-a-cup, no-going-out-partying probation/parole is going to be over in November, but only if she behaves herself and continues to test clean. Is she doesn’t test clean, perhaps it’s back in the slammer for her, and this time the taunts of “Firecrotch” will have new meaning, because she actually dyed her weave back to red. So, if Lindsay plays her cards right, at some point in the month of November, she’ll be a free and clear crackhead, minus some pending litigation that will likely be dealt with in civil court. By December, she should be back on her international crackhead journey, stopping by New York City, London, Paris, and… you know, wherever she can get the good sh-t.

So Lindsay has already begun to make plans for her triumphant return. Following the “success” of her cameo at the VMAs opening bit with Chelsea Handler (in which Lindsay’s “acting” and “jokes” were a particular nasty kind of hellish crack trauma), Lindsay has reportedly been in talks to host Saturday Night Live in New York City come December. Oh, God. I hope she’s irrelevant by then.

Lindsay Lohan’s career rehab train may have a stop at NBC’s famed “Saturday Night Live.” Lohan is in conversations to host “SNL” on Dec. 4, according to a source familiar with the deal.

The NBC late-nighter would give Lohan 90 minutes to prove to those who may still care about her career that she is employable after a string of run-ins with the law and rehab stints.

She’s currently on a strict post-jail program in California that requires four psychotherapy sessions, two addiction counseling sessions and five 12-step meetings every week plus random drug testing twice a week. Providing she doesn’t mess up before hand, those rules will be lifted on Nov. 1.

Word of the “SNL” possibility comes just a day after Lohan turned up in a well-recieved taped bit on MTV’s “Video Music Awards,” in which she poked fun at her own life. In the skit, she questioned whether “VMA” host Chelsea Handler had been drinking before the show.

“You think anyone would work with a drunk?” Lohan said, pushing Handler against the wall.

She’s also being chased by the morning news shows, all eager to land the first post-probation interview.

If “SNL” happens, it won’t be Lohan’s first trip to the long-running series. She hosted the May 1, 2004 edition of the program and was back again on April 16, 2006.

In 2006, she poked fun at the tabloid stories revolving around her allegedly bad behavior when, during the monologue, Keenan Thompson walked on stage playing a drunk guy in rabbit costume. She then joked about how he was a role model for children and he should not be drunk on TV.

Given her willingness to be the brunt of a joke on Sunday’s “VMA’s,” it’s likely “SNL” will feed on her recent courtroom and jail shenanigans.

“We never comment on upcoming hosts until they’re announced,” said an “SNL” spokeswoman.

Fresh episodes of “SNL” begin airing Sept. 25 – the show’s 36th season – with Amy Poehler as host and Katy Perry as the musical guest.

[From NYDN]

I only laugh about Lindsay Lohan when the joke is on her, you know? I laughed and laughed when I watched the live feed of Lindsay being sentenced to jail by Judge Marsha Revel, and Lindsay, forever the cracked-out drama queen, had a major hissy fit, sobbing and screeching for the cameras. That was hilarious. Hearing Lindsay make a “joke” about how she’s a f-cking disaster? It just seems sad.

I loved Betty White on this weekend’s Saturday Night Live, but I was worried about her. They had her standing and dancing so much! And she was in so many skits, and had to do so many costume changes. I was worried they were going to exhaust her. Turns out, Betty is a total pro, and she’s perfectly capable of partying with the young’uns until 3 a.m. So says Life & Style Magazine, who clocked Betty’s post-SNL activities. Betty went out with the SNL cast members and stayed out until 3 a.m. And then our beloved Dusty Muffin caught her flight back to LA at 6 a.m. Sunday morning. Betty is a goddess.

She may be 88 1/2 years old, but don’t say Betty White doesn’t know how to party. An eyewitness tells Life & Style that the former Golden Girl was getting down at the May 8 Saturday Night Live afterparty at Docks in NYC on Saturday until 3 a.m.! “She had no problem keeping up with the youngsters,” the eyewitness tells Life & Style.

And it was clear that the SNL cast members loved having Betty host. “She got a standing ovation when she arrived at the party a little before 2 a.m. In 10 years of working on the show, I’ve never seen that before,” says the eyewitness. Helping Betty celebrate were SNL cast member Andy Samberg and Matthew Broderick.

While Betty stuck to drinking water at the party, she did have one request while she was rehearsing the night before: a stiff, chilled vodka! As for any other divalike demands, Betty tells Life & Style that doing the show was work enough: “Special requests? Who could even think of that? I was just so focused on what I had to do. I had to learn how to read cue cards for tonight!”

While Betty was celebrating until the wee hours of the morning, we know she couldn’t have been out all night: “She had to catch a flight at 6:30 a.m. on Sunday morning!” the eyewitness dishes.

Celebrating wasn’t the only reward for Betty: the ratings for her episode of SNL were the highest in the past 18 months!

[From Life & Style]

A year and a half? That was probably the episode with Sarah Palin’s appearance? Probably. I can’t believe Betty’s appearance didn’t get higher ratings than the Palin one! I also love that the cast gave her a standing ovation – she totally deserved it. She wipes the floor with comedians a third her age, in talent, professionalism, attitude and energy.

By the way, The Bieb loves Betty too. He tweeted “BETTY WHITE RULES.” Thus spoketh The Bieb. Also, SNL released another video, of a sketch that cut because of time. Betty is only in it for a few seconds:

And here’s the Lawrence Welk skit. I didn’t include in yesterday’s post, but I always love when they do these. Kristen Wiig is insane:

Everyone always loved Betty White before, but would they still love her after more than an hour of muffin and lesbian jokes? The answer is a resounding yes, as Saturday Night Live had what was likely their best episode of the season with Betty as host. Betty didn’t do it alone though – many of the best female cast members came back for sketches, including Molly Shannon, Ana Gasteyer, Tina Fey, Amy Poehler and Rachel Dratch. Entertainment Weekly points out that “many of the sketches simply played off the idea of an old woman saying something naughty… over and over and over.” Eh. She was still one of the most deft comediennes to ever serve as an SNL host, and I think it was a great testament to Betty’s comedic skills and energy that she was featured in so many sketches.

In her opening monologue, Betty cracked several jokes about the Facebook movement to make her SNL host. Betty quipped: “Now that I know what [Facebook] is, it sounds like a huge waste of time. I would never say that the people on it are losers, but that’s only because I’m polite.”

This was one of the best sketches, featuring Gasteyer and Shannon in their old NPR skit. Betty White talking about “Dusty Muffins” was hilarious:

And here’s the “Gingy is a lesbian” sketch, one of the few where they let Betty sit down. I was worried about her having to stand and dance around so much in the other sketches.

And SNL is fully committed to selling their new film McGruber, so they had THREE McGruber sketches, with Betty playing Grandma McGruber. Here are all three combined in one video:

All in all, I really do think Betty was one of the best hosts SNL has ever had, and she’s certainly the best of the season. Throughout the show, however, I was constantly reminded of how many talented women worked on SNL at various times, and how the show is so much better when they return – what the hell is Ana Gasteyer doing these days? She should come back to SNL!

For the full Betty White episode, go here.

Betty White’s SNL photos, courtesy of SNL online.

We were all pretty geared up for Gabourey Sidibe to be completely awesome, weren’t we? Well, most of us were. And to her credit, she did give one of the best monologues in recent memory. She started with the premise that everyone feels sympathetic towards her because they think she’s Precious. She went on to sing and dance to a surprisingly awesome song “I’m not Precious, I’m Gabourey”. Gaby has a great voice, and she just seems so bubbly and happy and thrilled to be there, it was difficult not to root for her. Unfortunately, this video isn’t at SNL online or Hulu, so here’s a low-quality version:

Even though I love her, I was slightly disappointed in general with Gaby’s appearance. They didn’t use her as much as, say, Tina Fey two weeks ago. And Gaby flubbed her lines several times. But she did have some really great moments, like the digital short Gaby did with Andy Samberg, which was surprisingly strange and deliciously weird – I give you “Cherry Battle”:

I thought this one was cute one for Gaby too. By the way, why did they make her do so many accents? She was good at some of them (like the one below), but some, not so much:

This was actually my favorite of the night, but it didn‘t include Gaby. Bill Hader is insane, and he’s crazy funny in this one. So funny he cracked himself up. I’ve watched this three times already:

Photos courtesy of NBC & SNL online.