Holy grossness. I have heard some weird things in my day, but this absolutely takes the cake. N.E.R.D singer/rapper/producer Pharrell Williams has told the Mirror that he doesn’t like his old tattoos. Nearly every inch of his body is covered, and he seems to find some of it juvenile. Not tattoos as a concept, but the art he’s chosen. So what’s a guy to do? Have major laser tattoo removal? Why do that when you can have someone GROW SOME NEW SKIN for you. Yes I had to write it in caps, because that’s the hysterical/freaked out tone in which I say it.

Laser tattoo removal? That’s so yesterday, according to Pharrell Williams. The hotshot rapper and producer has decided to have new skin grown in a test tube just so that he can change his tats. Williams says he’s prepared to drop hundreds of thousands of dollars on the space age technology to get rid of his current crop of tattoos.

“There’s an institute called the Wake Forest Institute in North Carolina for Regenerative Skin Treatment,” he told Britain’s Daily Mirror newspaper. “It’s going to be pricey, but … it’s worth it. I got fire on my arms, I don’t need fire on my arms! I’m a grown man.”

Explaining how the icky-sounding process works, Williams said, “It’s basically like getting a skin graft, but you’re not taking skin from your a– or legs - these guys actually grow the skin for you.” Contemplating his new blank canvas, he added, “When it has healed you can go get whatever tattoo you want.”

[From the Daily News]

Raise your hand if you’re totally and completely freaked out. Oh good, I see it’s all of you. I cannot even put words to this. It’s not offensive or anything, but I have this really gross mental image of a Petri dish with a hunk of skin growing on it. And somehow the thought of skin that’s not attached to a body is just too much for me to wrap my brain around.

Pharrell is clearly willing to go to some pretty extreme measures to start fresh. I can sorta understand why this idea might be appealing, as laser tattoo removal still leaves a visible scar. I don’t know much about it, but I can imagine it’d be a huge pain to do for someone who’s as heavily tattooed as Pharrell says he is. But I can’t imagine having new skin put on would feel a whole lot better. I thought about looking it up to find out, but I am way, way, way too afraid there might be pictures. So I’ll assume it’s safe to say Pharrell is really serious if he’s willing to go through all this.

Here’s Pharrell Williams with N.E.R.D with performing live at Roter Salon in Berlin on June 27th. I don’t think he’s all that tattooed – personally I’d move on to the chest before I’d start slapping on new skin. Images thanks to WENN.

Evolutionary psychology is the study of human behavior as the result of natural selection. Our patterns in choosing mates, reproducing, and going about our daily activities are explained as adaptations of how our ancestors adjusted to their environments. Our primary goal as humans, claim followers of evolutionary psychology, is to make sure that our genes are passed on to the next generation. For that reason, women may seek out older, more wealthy mates that can provide for offspring, while men may look for younger, more fertile females who can produce more heirs.

Our primitive ancestors lived in small groups, under which they had to ensure that their needs were met. Our tendencies to help others, even in modern-day society in which we receive no direct benefit, are explained as an adaptive way that we ensured our own survival through reciprocity.

In primitive societies where everyone lived together, it was also incredibly important to pay attention to who was sleeping with whom and who did what. We’re naturally nosy because we once needed gossip to survive. If someone was pregnant, breaking up or hooking up, our ancestors needed to know because it directly affected them. The media makes celebrities recognizable to everyone, and it’s in our nature to talk about them as if they were friends and family:

Morality most likely evolved in these tiny bands of 100-200 people as a form of reciprocal altruism, or I’ll scratch your back if you’ll scratch mine. But as Lincoln noted, men are not angels. There are cheaters. Individuals defect from informal contracts. Reciprocal altruism, in the long run, only works when you know who will cooperate and who will defect. In these small groups cooperation is regulated through a complex feedback loop of communication between members of the community. (This also helps to explain why people in big cities can get away with being rude, inconsiderate, and uncooperative—they are anonymous and thus not subject to the normal checks and balances that come with knowing people and seeing them every day.) In order to play the game of reciprocation you need to know whose back needs scratching and who you will trust to scratch yours. This information is gathered through telling stories abou other people, better known as gossip. According to anthropologist Jerome Barkow (1992, 627-628):

If no one tells you the gossip, you are an outsider. Gossip from an anthropologist’s perspective is a means of social control, a sanction that forces one to adhere more closely to social norms than one would otherwise be inclined. Reputation is determined by gossip, and the casual conversations of others affect one’s relative standing and one’s acceptability as a mate or as a partner in social exchange. In Euro-American society, gossiping may at times be publicly disvalued and disowned, but it remains a favorite pastime, as it no doubt is in all human societies.

The etymology of the word “gossip,” in fact, is enlightening. The root stems are “god” and “sib” and meant “akin or related.” Its early use included “one who has contracted spiritual affinity with another,” “a godfather or godmother,” “a sponsor,” and “applied to a woman’s female friends invited to be present at a birth” (where they would gossip). The word then mutates into talk surrounding those who are akin or related to us (Oxford English Dictionary). Not surprising, we are especially interested in gossiping about the activities of others that most effects our inclusive fitness, that is, our reproductive success, the reproductive success of our relatives, and the reciprocation of those around us. In the Bio-Cultural Evolutionary Pyramid from the previous chapter, gossip and storytelling are most common and effectual in the middle levels of the family, extended family, and community. It is here where we find our favorite subjects of gossip—sex, generosity, cheating, aggression, violence, social status and standings, births and deaths, political and religious commitments, physical and psychological health, and the various nuances of human relations, particularly friendships and alliances. Normal gossip, then, is about relatives, close friends, and those in our immediate sphere of influence in the community, plus members of the community or society that are high ranking or have high social status. Gossip is the stuff of which not only soap operas, but grand operas are made.

But why, in our culture, do we gossip about total strangers, namely celebrities? The probable reason is that the mass media makes these figures so familiar to us that they seem like our relatives, friends, and members of the community. This is true even for fictional characters on television. “Who shot JR?” was a topic of much conversation in the 1980s. If we do not have Cinderella, we create one in people like Diana Spencer. Why would anyone care who Princess Diana slept with or what her status was within the Royal Family? Because our Pleistocene brains are being tricked into thinking that Princess Diana is someone we personally know and someone we should care about.

[Written by Michael Shermer and found on Human-nature.com]

So when you indulge in celebrity gossip daily, don’t feel guilty, it’s in our nature. It’s also in our nature to overeat to prepare for inevitable periods of scarcity which never come, so I guess I shouldn’t keep trying to justify my celebrity obsession with scientific reasons.

Thanks to my friend David for reminding me of this. I’ve read a few books on evolutionary psychology, but that was years ago and I’m by no means an expert. If you know more about this field please add your thoughts in the comments.

Here is Wikipedia’s entry on Evolutionary Psychology, and here’s a FAQ about the field. I also wanted to recommend David Buss’ book Evolution of Desire, but a lot of hardcore evolutionary psychologists are trashing it for being too salacious without enough substance. Maybe that’s why I enjoyed it.

Sometimes a star has something that I am crazy jealous of, like Reese Witherspoon’s Oscar dress. I am crazy jealous of this, as I could never get close to having something this cool named after me.

Star Trek actor George Takei has been chosen as the namesake of the asteroid formerly known as the 1994 GT9.

The asteroid, located between Mars and Jupiter, has been renamed 7307 Takei in honour of the actor, who is best known for his role as Hikaru Sulu in the original Star Trek series.

“I am now a heavenly body,” Takei said today, laughing.

“I found out about it yesterday. … I was blown away. It came out of the clear, blue sky - just like an asteroid.”

The celestial rock, discovered by two Japanese astronomers in 1994, joins the 4659 Roddenberry (named for the show’s creator, Gene Roddenberry) and the 68410 Nichols (for co-star Nichelle Nichols, who played Lieutenant Uhura).

Sydney Morning Herald

Now, I know you can have naming rights to stars – you can buy them at your local observatory. The Auckland observatory claim you can actually see the star you adopt, but that’s just probably because the stars you can see from new Zealand aren’t popular. They certainly aren’t as cool as having an asteroid named after you because you used to pretend to be on a space ship - the star ship Enterprise - which also has an asteroid named after it.

The International Astronomical Union (IAU) point out that purchasing or adopting a star means very little in their community, but being given one by them means that astronomers themselves will use the name given.

Whoever discovers an asteroid, for you amateur stargazers out there, has ten years to give it a name. After that the IAU consider other suggestions, where it strongly warns against names in questionable taste, or military and political leaders less than 100 years dead. I guess George Bush has a few years before we can hurtle him through the universe…

In case you were wondering, some other famous names to grace our skies include Elvis, Lennon, McCartney, and Shakespeare.

And that’s your daily dose of space trivia.

For those of you who, like myself, aren’t Star Trek fans, George Takei is now seen on Heroes, as Hiro Nakamura’s father.

Picture note by Celebitchy: Header image is not Takei’s specific asteroid, and was found at Space-Travel.com. Picture of George Takei via MSNBC.

Leonardo DiCaprio is proving his geek credentials – getting into a fight with Nicholas Cage about a dinosaur head.

The bidding war between the two Hollywood stars was intense as the price soared for the 67 million-year-old dinosaur skull.

Only when it reached $276,000 did Leonardo DiCaprio blink - and Nicolas Cage walked away from the Beverley Hills auction with a ferocious-looking addition to his fossil collection.

As this recent battle of the celebrities for the head of a tyrannosauras [sic] bataar — the Asian cousin of T-rex — proved, dinosaur bones are emerging as the new, collectible must-haves for the multi-millionaires of Hollywood, Wall Street and Silicon Valley.

Daily Telegraph

Apparently these are the new must-have accessory, although I guess more for geek boys than fashion conscious ladies. Hopefully this doesn’t translate to fashion – I’m thinking the Flintstones here!

Dinosaur bones are a new form of wall art, an alternative to a Monet or Picasso. It must be cool to have one of these.

“Dinosaur bones and all sorts of fossils are increasingly hot right now. Hollywood heavy-hitters and the mega-rich types from the Middle East love this stuff,” said Josh Chait, operations director of the family firm (auctioneers IM Chait).

“When you already have a Warhol or a Monet on the wall, you tend to want a change from traditional artwork and people are turning to natural history for that.”

Daily Telegraph

This is a great trend for Hollywood to get into. Hopefully when they turn into old bones themselves, or even just tire of the trend, they’ll donate the bones to a museum. A Chicago museum recently paid $8.3million for a dinosaur skeleton, so if they could get some for free, everybody wins!

Picture note by Celebitchy: Composite picture includes an illustration of the Tarbosaurus bataar, also known as Tyrannosaurus bataar. It was one of the last surviving dinosaurs, and lived in the Gobi desert in southern Mongolia. It was a carnivore and is a close relative of the T-Rex. Thanks to Dinosaur-World for the picture and description.

Dr. Drew Pinsky from the radio show Loveline and his partner psychologist Mark Young had 200 celebrities that appeared on their show fill out a psychological questionnaire called The Narcissism Personality Inventory. The results show that celebrities really are more full of themselves than the average person. They’re more concerned about their appearance and have an inflated sense of self importance. The less real life skills they have, the more likely they are to be off the charts narcissism-wise.

Two Los Angeles psychologists have produced the first scientific evidence that many celebrities sincerely believe that they are better than the rest of us. The psychologists’ forthcoming book suggests that many pop culture icons are heading for disaster.

Mark Young and Drew Pinsky used a mathematical formula to measure the traits, including exhibitionism and vanity, that make up narcissism. Psychologists believe that in general men are both bossier than women and show off more. However, in the “celebrity class” women are far more narcissistic than men and up to a third are more manipulative and vain about their appearance than the typical woman in the street, according to the psychologists from the University of Southern California.

Young and Pinsky have had rare access: celebrities queue up to appear on Loveline, Pinsky’s nationally syndicated radio show, where he has been compared to Professor Anthony Clare, the BBC psychiatrist, for his revealing interviewing style.

They asked 200 celebrities who appeared on the programme to fill out a standard questionnaire called the Narcissism Personality Inventory. They were asked how they felt about themselves, including whether they felt they deserved compliments or were embarrassed by them and whether they insisted on being “respected” at all times.

Participants remain anonymous but interviewees featured on Pinsky’s website include Renée Zellweger, Jessica Simpson, Jim Carrey and members of Duran Duran, the British pop band.

“It was people like that — actors, comedians, musicians and reality TV contestants — who emerged as the most narcissistic of all,” said Pinsky. “The fewer real-life skills they had, the louder they tend to be in their attempts to hold on to attention.”

The article goes on to say that crotch-baring may be a sign of their extreme narcissism. People who are full of themselves “crave attention, are over-confident… lack empathy and can behave erratically,” but are often charming in person.

Keep in mind that Lindsay Lohan, Paris Hilton, and Britney Spears never went to college. Paris Hilton has a GED, Lindsay Lohan graduated from high school on Long Island, and Britney Spears was home-schooled and attended a performing arts school. I cannot figure out if she earned any kind of degree. Nicole Richie attended college for two years at the University of Arizona but didn’t earn an associates as far as I could tell. What kind of jobs could these women get if they were forced to fend for themselves like average people? I have a feeling Paris might do well out of sheer persistence.

It’s not surprising that celebrities are full of themselves. Is that a symptom or a cause of their fame or a bit of both? Why bother to learn anything else when you can earn big bucks just by showing up and being yourself?

I know this isn’t celebrity news, but it’s pretty interesting. Scientists have found a dolphin with an extra set of fins, suggesting that dolphins once had legs and walked on land. Maybe this news came out earlier about dolphins once being land-dwellers, but this is the first I’ve heard of it.

Fossil remains show dolphins and whales were four-footed land animals about 50 million years ago and share the same common ancestor as hippos and deer. Scientists believe they later transitioned to an aquatic lifestyle and their hind limbs disappeared.

Whale and dolphin fetuses also show signs of hind protrusions but these generally disappear before birth.

Though odd-shaped protrusions have been found near the tails of dolphins and whales captured in the past, researchers say this was the first time one had been found with well-developed, symmetrical fins, Hayashi said.

“I believe the fins may be remains from the time when dolphins’ ancient ancestors lived on land … this is an unprecedented discovery,” Seiji Osumi, an adviser at Tokyo’s Institute of Cetacean Research, said at a news conference televised Sunday.

The second set of fins — much smaller than the dolphin’s front fins — are about the size of human hands and protrude from near the tail on the dolphin’s underside. The dolphin measures 8.92 feet and is about five years old, according to the museum.

Despite their big brains, scientists aren’t convinced that dolphins are as intelligent as they get credit for. Their large brains may be due to the fact that they are warm-blooded animals living in water.

Here’s a segment from The Simpsons’ “Treehouse of Horror XI” in which dolphins take over the world.

Showing that celebrity worship isn’t limited to our species, a team of neurobiologists at Duke University Medical Center found that male rhesus macaque monkeys would willingly give up treats to view pictures of a dominant “celebrity” monkey. The monkeys designated as celebrities were also obsessed with other celebrity monkeys:

It’s just, uh, primate nature to want to look at celebrities, so don’t feel guilty. Even monkeys do it.