Sean Penn and Robin Wright did the breakup-and-makeup thing for years and years. It got so bad, I even lost track for a few years as to whether or not they were on or off. Like, I almost positive they were done and then they showed up together while Sean was promoting Milk in 2008-09. But shortly after that, I think they were finally over? Maybe? Like, summer 2009. Post-split, Sean drowned himself in booze and women (no different then when he was married), and he spent a lot of time in Haiti, working with his charity. And after their split, Robin had moved on with a new boyfriend, producer Greg Shapiro. When Robin showed up with Shapiro at the 2010 Oscars, according to reports, Sean got into it backstage with Shapiro, and Sean’s actions were so off-side, Penn was banned from the Governors Ball. However, through it all, Sean and Robin were said to be close because of their two kids, and they were committed to co-parenting (when Sean wasn’t in Haiti). So maybe it’s not shocking that they might have found their way back together?

Sean Penn and ex-wife Robin Wright may be headed toward reconciliation.

“They’ve been spending a lot of time together,” says an insider, who reveals that the couple originally grew apart due to busy work schedules and long stretched of time away from each other.

“They’ve been living the single life – and quit frankly, it doesn’t agree with either of them. They really miss their life together as a family.”

[From Star Magazine, print edition]

I’m not sure that I buy that they split up because of “work schedules”. I think they split up because Sean’s an ass and he was always screwing around on Robin and she finally had enough of all of it. While I believe that Sean has been drowning himself in young ladies since then, I’ll buy that he does miss Robin. She held him together, I think. She kept him sane and she definitely helped with his reputation.

UPDATE: Ah, I just saw this denial that Robin’s rep gave to RumorFix: “[Robin’s] on location in Australia, she’s shooting a movie with Naomi Watts. They’re just making up stuff; she’s been gone since mid January. Clearly there’s no photos of them together, so it’s clear…they’ve not been spending any time together.” I want to believe Robin isn’t messing with Penn again, but her history with him… it makes me believe that she’s capable of falling into his clutches again.

Here are some photos of Robin filming The Grandmothers with Naomi Watts this week – Robin’s still got a great figure, doesn’t she?

Photos courtesy of Fame/Flynet and WENN.

Back in 2009, actress Maria Conchita Alonso wrote an open letter to Sean Penn, who she had worked with in the 1988 film Colors. Maria is Cuban-American (but she was raised in Venezuela), and she hated that Sean Penn was (is?) so chummy with Hugo Chavez, and she said so. Sean never bothered to respond, at least not that I remember. Anyway, Page Six had an interesting little update on the now on-going war between Penn and Alonso:

Sean Penn and Cuban actress Maria Conchita Alonso were once Hollywood co-stars — but they had an angry bust-up at LAX, with Alonso branding Penn a “communist [bleep]hole” after he called her a “pig” in front of a stunned crowd.

It started when Alonso picked up her mother from a Miami flight and spotted Penn in an American Airlines lost luggage area Sunday.

Alonso, born in Cuba and raised in Venezuela, says her “heart stopped” when she saw the actor, to whom she’d written an open letter last year to say she was “appalled” by his public support of Hugo Chavez.

She told Page Six: “I was very calm. I said, ‘I would like to talk to you.’ He said, ‘I have nothing to say to you . . . You have been saying a lot of things about me in the press.’ I said, ‘How can you defend Chavez?’ ”

The argument escalated from there. Alonso relates: “I said, ‘You are a communist, Sean Penn.’ He said, ‘You are a pig!’ So I said, ‘And you are a communist [bleep]hole! Is it great to live the way you do as a communist?’ I went back to my mother, and he started yelling at us,” Alonso told us. “I yelled back, ‘Communist [bleep]hole!’ Nearly 60 people were watching, shocked. My mother wanted to clap, but she couldn’t because she was in a wheelchair and she had a small dog in her lap.”

Penn, traveling from Haiti, told us: “I only knew that a hostile woman was nonsensically berating me. I didn’t realize it was that actress. I think I worked with her once. But she looks really different. She was uninformed and impolite to all the other passengers.” The two starred in the 1988 film “Colors,” as lovers on different sides of the gang war in Los Angeles.

Alonso, who first recounted the story to Steve Malzberg on Washington, DC, radio station WMAL, added, “I do apologize for calling Sean Penn a [bleep]hole. He is an intelligent man . . . But if someone calls me a pig, I am not going to turn the other cheek. But I don’t regret calling him a communist.”

[From Page Six]

I should use “bleep-hole” as an insult more often. It’s funnier than “a–hole”. Anyway, it sounds like they both behaved badly, and I hate to admit it, but Alonso sounds like the instigator and Sean sounds like he was just defending himself from a woman who was berating him. Not that she didn’t have a point, and not that she doesn’t have a right to speak her mind. But Sean has a right to defend himself too, although I think his insults missed the mark by calling her a “pig” (ugh) and mentioning that she doesn’t look the same as she used to – because, really, neither does he, and mentioning her looks is like responding to a political criticism with “Well, you’re FAT.” Anyway, that’s America. This is all a convoluted exercise in free speech.

By the way, I kind of hate how “communist” has come back into fashion as a go-to insult. I feel the same way about labeling people “socialists” or “fascists” – because more often than not, the people that you’re labeling communists, socialist or fascists aren’t really any of those things. They just have a different point of view, and they’re seriously nothing like the true communists, socialists and fascists. Also: stop comparing everything to Nazism too. People really have no sense of history anymore.

Photos courtesy of WENN.

Before Terrence Malick’s Tree of Life premiered at the Cannes Film Festival this year, there were many, many Hollywood people who were already claiming that it was a shoo-in for all of the big award nominations, just for the sheer fact that it was Malick film, starring Brad Pitt and Sean Penn. What could go wrong? Well, some critics hated the film (even booing it at Cannes), and some people held on to their “Masterpiece!” claims once they had seen the film. I still haven’t seen it, by the way. And I probably won’t for a while, just because it sounds like Malick was very self-indulgent and precious as a director, and I have issues with that kind of masturbatory “genius”. Anyway, Sean Penn has a new interview where he too criticized the film, but Hollywood insiders say it’s just sour grapes because Malick edited Sean’s part so much:

Film insiders are saying that Sean Penn’s criticism of director Terrence Malick’s “Tree of Life” is sour grapes over his role in the mystical movie being chopped.

France’s Le Figaro quoted the star as saying, “I didn’t at all find on the screen the emotion of the script, which is the most magnificent one that I’ve ever read … Frankly, I’m still trying to figure out what I’m doing there and what I was supposed to add … Terry himself never managed to explain it to me clearly.”

But sources tell us Penn’s role was much larger in the script than what ended up on-screen. And critics noted that Penn’s part, which bookends the picture, is the smallest of the core actors’, including Brad Pitt and Jessica Chastain.

Last winter, blogs buzzed that Penn would be an Oscar shoo-in as Best Actor. Now he’s left out of that conversation. Penn worked with Malick before in “The Thin Red Line.”

“You know what you’re signing up for,” said a source.

Adrien Brody’s role in “Red Line” was reduced to two lines, and Martin Sheen, Gary Oldman, Bill Pullman, Jason Patric, Lukas Haas, Viggo Mortensen and Mickey Rourke were cut out entirely. Malick’s rep declined to comment. Penn’s rep didn’t get back to us.

[From Page Six]

I don’t know if I can take anybody’s side in this case. Should I really slam Sean for offering a mild criticism (for HIM) when it’s obvious to many people that the film does have some issues, and that it’s not for everyone? The worst I can say about Sean is that he should stand up for his own work and not sh-t on a director he chose to work with AGAIN, knowing how it could turn out. Also, I suppose it is petty when Sean is probably peeved that his part was cut and no one is mentioning his name for awards anymore, while Brad’s part wasn’t cut that much, and Brad is still being discussed for awards. Still, I think Malick probably deserves more criticism than he’s gotten – people are walking on eggshells around Malick because everyone thinks he’s a “genius”.

Photos courtesy of WENN.

Back when Scarlett Johansson and Sean Penn together, I often caught sight of recent pics of Hopper Penn, Sean Penn and Robin Wright’s 17-year-old son. Hopper and Sean seem to spend a lot of time together, and there’s even a story about Robin kicking Hopper out of her house and telling him to go live with his father (I think that might be true). When I looked through the photos, I always noticed what an unusual mix Hopper was – I can see both parents in him physically, but the way he carries himself… it seems like he’s pure Sean. Anyway, The Enquirer has an interesting story about just that. Apparently, like father, like son. Even when the dad is up to eyeballs in coke and strange. Tell me I’m wrong:

Just like his hotheaded dad Sean Penn, 17-year-old Hopper Penn has already made a name for himself as an epic hell-raiser – and friends fear the hard-partying teen is on a collision course with disaster.

“Hopper is basically Sean’s Mini-Me!” says an insider. “He’s feisty, prine to picking fights and already a first-rate womanizer.”

To make matters worse, Sean treats hopper more like a buddy than a son, said the source: “They surf together and hang out… at Zuma Beach in Malibu recently, Hopper got into it with another surfer who claimed Hopper stole his wave. Hopper suggested they settle the score on land. He was looking for a fist fight, and Sean didn’t discourage it. Fortunately, the other guy backed off.”

In May, Sean took Hopper with him to the Cannes Film Festival and “Sean used Hopper as his wing man to pick up women,” the source said. “Hopper even managed to hook up with a few model-types in their mid-20s.”

When he was 16, he was arrested for illegal possession of hydracodone, and insiders say his behavior has infuriated his mother, Penn’s ex-wife Robin Wright.

“Robin is worried that he could wind up getting involved with drugs and land in legal trouble again… at the rate he’s going, Hopper is well on his way to becoming even more of a handful than his dad!”

[From The Enquirer, print edition]

To put a positive spin on this, I guess I should say that it’s nice that Sean and Hopper are so tight, and it’s good that Sean is spending quality time with his son. I guess it also makes sense – in a certain school of parenting – to expose your teenage kids to all of the bad stuff yourself, so you can explain everything and it won’t be a mystery. However, Hopper sounds less like a good-natured chip off the old block and more like a teenage boy desperately in need of limits. If he doesn’t end up in jail, it will be a miracle. Oh, and picking up women with your teenage son? That’s just gross, Sean.

Photos courtesy of WENN & Fame.

Here’s how I think the Scarlett Johansson-Sean Penn split went down: for a while they were happy, until Scarlett had to leave LA to work on The Avengers. Sean took that opportunity to play the “No, I’m not going to come visit you, this was just a casual thing, remember?” card, to which Scarlett was all, “BUT WE’RE LIVING TOGETHER, I thought we were REAL.” To which Sean was all “LMAO, GTFO.” Then Sean went to Cannes and boned a bunch of ladies, after which his rep confirmed the ScarJo split, under the table, to People Magazine, which caught Scarlett by surprise. So she decided to cling and force the issue when she ran into Sean at the Guys Choice Awards, making sure they were photographed together, and probably trying to talk him into coming back to her.

Well, Sean isn’t coming back. At least not right away. According to E! News, Sean was spotted out on a date with Garcelle Beauvais. The only thing I really know about Garcelle is that she was married to her dorky, vanilla husband for nine years, and when he dumped her for another woman, she went on a rampage, emailing all of his friends and coworkers with accusations of her estranged husband’s infidelities with “some slut in Chicago” (her actual words). It was a pretty good scandal, and now I’m really hoping Sean and Garcelle are a thing.

When Sean Penn has a night out in Hollywood, people notice—especially if he’s with a beautiful, and pretty well-known, fellow celeb. So who shared a meal with the outspoken actor and human-rights activists the other night at the celebrity haunt Sunset Tower Hotel in Los Angeles?

Although he was arrived solo and sat alone at the bar for a bit, he was eventually joined by none other than Franklin & Bash actress Garcelle Beauvais.

“When she arrived, they moved to the front corner table, which put them on display,” a source tells us. “They sat inside for a while and even ordered food.”

Then they moved outside, where Penn was able to smoke—and perhaps have more privacy? Penn’s rep did not immediately comment. Beauvais’ issued the standard line about not commenting on her client’s private life.

So was it romantic? If it wasn’t, perhaps the two were discussing their efforts to help rebuild Haiti. Beauvais, who was born in Haiti, lost an aunt in the earthquake. “I did a short film, called Eyes to See, a lot of charity and raising money,” the 44-year-old beauty recently told Jet magazine about her work there. “My family in Miami is doing everything: sending coats, sending supplies. A lot of people have stepped up for Haiti. In that, there is so much hope.”

She was on hand in New York when Penn was honored earlier this year at the Help Haiti: Urban Zen HHRH & The Stiller Foundation event, which honored the Oscar winner for his work on the island nation.

Beauvais has been married and divorced twice and has three children. Her second marriage ended when she allegedly caught her agent husband Mike Nilon cheating on her. An email she wrote to his colleagues outlining his infidelities was leaked to the press. Penn, 50, who was married but now divorced from Madonna and Robin Wright, was most recently linked to Scarlett Johansson, 26.

[From E! News]

Obviously, if they are a “thing” now, Sean will definitely be cheating on her and Garcelle will definitely be cutting a bitch when that happens (and the “bitch” would be Sean). It should be an excellent adventure if and when that happens, although it does seem like they really could just have some kind of professional/humanitarian relationship.

My first thought was about Sean’s girlfriend before Scarlett – he was dating an African-American model named Jessica White. I kind of think Jessica and Garcelle look similar, so maybe he has a type. Or maybe his type is “biscuits, pulse”.

Photos courtesy of WENN.

Obviously, I will jump at nearly any chance to reuse this photo of Scarlett Johansson and her whacked-out foot placement at the White House Correspondents’ Association Dinner that she attended with Sean Penn in early May. Of course, it wasn’t long afterward that Scarlett and Sean inevitably and officially broke up, and now there are the recent reports that Sean did the dumping because she’s clingy, and Scarlett’s still pursuing. I’m inclined to believe that’s probably true, since Scarlett’s not used to getting dumped and probably hasn’t gotten the message into her head that Sean’s just not into her any longer.

However, there’s now an amusing (if not entirely believable) report that dinner at the White House may have had something to do with the breakup. The Enquirer seems to believe that Scarlett broke up with Sean because he suggested that she needed to get an education:

Heavy-handed Sean Penn wrecked his relationship with Scarlett Johansson when he went overboard with his controlling ways – telling her she should go back to school.

“It was the last straw when Sean disparaged her lack of education about politics and urged her to go to school,” revealed an insider.

“Scarlett loves him, but she had to end the romance because she felt she had no breathing room.”

The May-December romance began to unravel when the 26-year-old “Lost in Translation” beauty admitted she felt a little out of her depth intellectually when she recently attended a White House gala.

That convinced Penn, 50, that the pillow-lipped beauty — who never attended college — needed to get more education. Back in 2003, she applied for New York University’s arts program but was rejected.

“Sean suggested Scarlett take a political science course,” revealed an insider, and it rubbed her the wrong way.

“She’s a free spirit and just became fed up with him trying to take over every aspect of her life — from career choices and work habits to people she associated with,” disclosed the insider.

As The Enquirer revealed, the “Milk” star — previously married to actress Robin Wright — had been organizing many aspects of Scarlett’s life since the pair began their controversial romance in January.

Even Penn’s 20-year-old daughter Dylan told pals she was “grossed out” by her dad’s fling, which began after ScarJo filed for divorce from her huband of two years, “Green Lantern” hunk Ryan Reynolds.

Not long ago, possessive Penn showed up on the set of Scarlett’s latest movie, “We Bought a Zoo” — scowling at guys who came near her.

Concluded the insider: “Scarlett got tired of telling Sean to pull back. In the end, she wanted a mentor, not a father.”

[From The Enquirer, print edition]

Well, I can see where getting rejected from NYU’s Tisch School of the Arts would cause Scarlett to have a sore spot on the subject of college education. Even worse, Scarlett already fancies herself an intellectual and probably didn’t appreciate being told that she’s not as smart as she thinks she is. Still, when she’s rubbing shoulders with the likes of Barack Obama (and the dinner wasn’t the first time that’s happened either), she could at least stand to take a basic course on International Relations or Poli Sci 101. Still, that’s nothing that one wants to hear from your boyfriend, so this argument may indeed have contributed to their breakup, but I doubt she initiated the split. Also, that bit about Penn scowling at guys onset is hilarious. The scowl is Penn’s natural expression!

Even when Sean smiles, the guy looks like he’s suffering from discomfort in the lower abdominal area, if you know what I mean. And I think you do.

Meanwhile, based upon that photo of Scarlett and Sean together at last weekend’s Spike TV Guys Choice Awards, Star [the print edition] maintains that they’re still very much a couple yet have hit a rough patch because while Scarlett “believes she’s found the real thing,” Sean’s just not ready for a serious relationship again after divorcing Robin Wright. Further, Star asserts that both Robin and Scarlett’s mom have expressed their verbal disapproval of the coupling. Oh, and ScarJo and Sean supposedly argue about everything but enjoy a so-called “amazing chemistry,” and Sean likes banging a woman who’s half his age. I can totally buy that the last part was a big reason that these two ever dated in the first place, but I doubt that they’re still together by any stretch. And yeah, he totally dumped her.

Photos courtesy of Fame Pictures and WENN

Last week, People Magazine got the “scoop” (meaning a wink and a nod from someone’s publicist) that Scarlett Johansson and Sean Penn had split up after about three or four months of dating. Then, just a few days later, Scarlett and Sean were both separately in attendance at Spike TV’s Guys’ Choice Awards. At first, it seemed like Scar and Sean kept their distance, but one photo agency managed to get a photo of Sean and Scarlett arm-in-arm backstage – you can see the photo here. After that, it seemed like People Mag might have jumped the gun and perhaps Scarlett and Sean were still very much on. Not so much, according to Us Weekly. Us Weekly claims that the photo came about because Scarlett was all up on Sean’s grill at the Spike TV thing, and he was trying to ignore her:

Sean Penn isn’t looking to be tied down.

An insider tells the new issue of Us Weekly (on stands now) that Penn, 50, broke up with Scarlett Johansson, 25, after five months because he has not wanted anything “serious” since his 2010 divorce from Robin Wright, adding, “Scarlett pursued him.”

On June 4, the Avengers star didn’t seem ready to give up on their unlikely romance. At Spike TV’s Guys Choice Awards in L.A., she scrambled for face time with the Oscar winner. “She pushed herself into his conversations,” a witness tells Us. “She sat down between him and Robert De Niro. Robert was like ‘What?’ and made a face.”

Johansson also made sure they were snapped together. “A photographer asked for a shot,” the source says. “Before Sean could say no, she said yes.”

[From Us Weekly]

I hope this isn’t true. While I won’t give Scarlett credit for being a good actress or even an interesting model, I’ve consistently given her credit for how she handles herself in relationships. She just seems like the kind of woman whose constant motto is “There are other fish in the sea.” She moves on quickly, doesn’t whine, and simply finds a new dude. I admire that. If Sean dumped Scarlett, I would hope that she would already have other dudes waiting in the wings. I would not expect her to cling to Sean publicly, demanding that he pay attention to her. She’s not Sienna Miller! Am I giving Scarlett too much credit, though? Sean might have really messed with her head. Or maybe she’s just desperately trying to play it cool. Ugh.

According to other sources, Scarlett was just keeping things friendly. A source says, “If you remember after Scarlett confirmed her split from husband Ryan the two continued to see each other and have dinner together… She is incredible. Just because you are no longer with someone doesn’t mean you stop caring about them and never want to see them again. She still cares a great deal about Sean and couldn’t imagine seeing him at an event or award show and not saying hello. Only children act like that.” Yeah, I can see stopping by your ex-lovers table and saying hello. But to insert yourself into a conversation with Robert DeNiro? Hm…

By the way, Scarlett really did look like ten kinds of hell at the Spike TV thing. She just looks exhausted and drawn. Oh, and the Sean Penn Canadian tuxedo pics are from Cannes!

Photos courtesy of WENN.

Here are some new photos of Scarlett Johansson, fresh from her split with Sean Penn. Honestly, though, I’m kind of thinking that the split happened before the Cannes Film Festival, which means that Scarlett has been single for nearly a month. Which means she probably already has another dude lined up, in my opinion. Anyway, these photos are from last night’s Guys Choice Awards, which… won’t air for a while, I think. You might remember that Jennifer Aniston was chosen as “The Decade of Hotness” Award (and she looked super drunk at the event too). Scarlett chose red hair for the event (because she’s currently working on The Avengers), and this totally dated-looking Valentino. You know what this dress reminds me of? Julia Roberts’ “fancy dress” in the classic film Mystic Pizza. Beyond the dress, I kind of think Scar looks like total crap. She’s obviously been training hard for The Avengers, and she’s lost a lot of weight really fast, and it’s made her look kind of drawn and tired. The red hair doesn’t help either – it doesn’t really suit her, in my opinion.

And as it turns out, Sean Penn was also at last night’s Guys Choice Awards, but most people claim that ScarJo and Sean carefully avoided each other:

Newly single stars Sean Penn and Scarlett Johansson avoided a face-to-face reunion on Saturday (04Jun11) as the former lovers both attended the Spike Guys’ Choice Awards in Los Angeles.

The actors were said to have enjoyed a brief romance before news of the break-up emerged earlier this week (03Jun11).

But there was no awkward meet-up at the glitzy California bash – Johansson walked the red carpet, while Penn arrived late to accept an award from Robert De Niro as his 1982 movie Fast Times At Ridgemont High was inducted into the Guy Movie Hall of Fame.
Johansson opted not to talk about her love life to reporters and instead turned the focus onto her latest movie project.

The actress looked sensational in a black and white Valentino gown as she arrived at the Sony Studios in Culver City alongside Justin Timberlake, Mila Kunis, Jennifer Aniston and Cameron Diaz.

Scarlett was keen to impart an insight from the set of The Avengers, a canny move considering the moribund status of her movie career versus her fervid love life of late.
She told Just Jared: ‘I just flew in from New Mexico, where I’ve been shooting The Avengers. A bunch of the cast is here tonight but I’m here to support the troops. Chris Evans and I are presenting.’

‘We’re right in the middle of scenes and figuring a lot of stuff out. I’ve been training a lot and doing all sorts of exercises.’

[From Contact Music & The Mail]

So far there hasn’t been much speculation about Scar and Sean’s breakup, I guess because no one really thought they would last anyway. I would love to know what exactly went down, especially considering that Scarlett had moved in with Sean so quickly. E! news had one of the few post-split analysis pieces – you can read it here. They basically say that Sean’s family (including his mom) urged him to drop Scarlett as their relationship became more and more tabloid. They also say Sean probably still has feelings for Robin Wright, and Robin and her boyfriend just split up too, perhaps meaning that Robin and Sean might try to reconcile again.

By the way, Justin Timberlake was at the Guys Choice show. You know he and Scarlett had a thing way back, and I kind of think he’d like to try it again.

Photos courtesy of Fame.

OMG! Well, it looks like all of those reports about Sean Penn boning everything in sight during the Cannes Film Festival were true – it was just “confirmed” to People Magazine that Scarlett Johansson and Sean Penn are no more. They began dating… I want to say January/February. That’s when the initial reports about them “hanging out” began to appear. And then came Scar’s foot on Sean’s crotch. And then she moved in with him two seconds later. She had dong haze, he had biscuit haze, it was all very urgent and “deep” and of course it wasn’t going to last.

Scarlett Johansson and Sean Penn are no longer dating, a source tells PEOPLE.

Speculation about the pair began after Johansson did not attend the Cannes Film Festival with Penn for his movie The Tree of Life. She has been working on The Avengers in New Mexico, reprising her role of Black Widow from Iron Man 2.

Johansson, 26, and Penn, 50, made headlines when they took a whirlwind trip to Cabo San Lucas after being spotted getting flirty together during a lunch date in Los Angeles.

The pair attended a White House Correspondents’ Dinner party in Washington D.C. in April and had been spotted in a series of cozy outings in L.A.

The reason for the split wasn’t immediately known. Reps declined to comment.

[From People]

Yeah… I bet Sean dumped her before Cannes. Either that or she dumped him right after Cannes. Even though I think quite a bit of Scarlett’s game – she really does have an admirable way of handling men and relationships – I’ll admit that I thought Scarlett was playing this relationship a bit too “needy”. I think she was really into Sean, and I think he probably dicked her around (in more ways than one) and she got tired of it. Hopefully that’s the way it played out. I just don’t see Scarlett weeping into her pillow over ANY dude. Hopefully, she’s already moved on to the new dong. You know Justin Timberlake is probably texting her right now.

Photos courtesy of WENN.

The notorious toupee of Sean Penn is on epic display at Cannes, particularly at the photocall for Penn’s goth-drag-Nazi hunting film, This Must Be The Place, which is Italian director Paolo Sorrentino’s English debut and has also received a new trailer. If you’ll recall, Penn was on location last August in Dublin, Ireland while looking like a tragic hot mess in a Robert Smith-esque wig, earrings, and gothy red lipstick. The movie’s odd premise involves Penn’s character, “Cheyenne,” (who is a wealthy, aging rocker living in a mansion) leaving his American, firefighting wife (Francis McDormand) behind to travel (by boat) on a quest to New York to reunite with his dying father. The story, naturally, turns into a hunt to find Nazi war criminals and persecutors; throughout his journey Cheyenne is reawakened and engages in much (clichéd) self discovery. For some inexplicable reason, there’s also a dog wearing an Elizabethan collar at the bottom of an empty swimming pool.

This Must Be the Place is a title that never fails to remind me of the Talking Heads song for which the film was named, and an early review from the Guardian indicates that a cameo by David Byrne is the highlight of a film that otherwise turns into a “diverting if derivative American odyssey.” As for Penn’s performance, the trailer indicates that his character might still be taking some of those bitchin’ drugs from the 1980s or, at the very least, has suffered long-lasting after effects.

Now to fully appreciate Penn’s weave, it must be witnessed at every available angle:

At this point, Penn would look far less ridiculous if he ditched the toupee and stuck with the goth wig:

Photos courtesy of WENN