You know how once in a while, an actor will reveal something intimately personal and it becomes legendary. And there are other times when an actor reveals something intimately personal and it scares the shit out of you. Former heartthrob Christian Slater gave one of those “too much information” interviews recently. I’m going to warn you in advance: this may make you throw up. So if you’ve got a laptop, read this story near the toilet. If you’re on a desktop, I suggest you unhook everything and reconnect it all in your bathroom. Because you know it’d be better than where you’re working anyway.

Christian Slater, currently doing theater in London and linked to Jimmy Choo founder Tamara Mellon, sat down with Arena magazine and started to reveal a bit of a toe fetish. “I’m always experimenting in the bedroom, trying to discover new ways to have a good time and enjoy myself. I think toes are a lot of fun, definitely. Do some of your own research and find out how, but trust me. Uh oh, now I’ve crossed the line!”

In addition to enjoying toes, Slater talked drugs. He’s had well-publicized bouts with alcohol and rehab in the past. “The last time I had ecstasy was five years ago. There’s no question that in proper quantities and the right manner, drugs are fine. On the other hand, your perceptions tend to get all screwed up and you lose track of what you’ve taken, and how much, and what you’re saying and what you’re doing.”

[From the Huffington Post]

If there were a perfect job for me, it would be titled “Looker-upper of random useless information on the internet expert.” I’m way too curious by nature, and not easily disgusted. There are few things I won’t look up. But Christian Slater telling me to do some of my own research and find out how toes can be incorporated into sex play is absolutely where I draw the line. There are some sick websites out there that show all manner of death and destruction. I look at them, because I’m curious and weird like that. But Christian Slater toe sex? Not having it. My only explanation is that all his well-documented drug use has clearly messed up some part of his wiring, and whatever part of his brain was the sex part is now rerouted to the foot part.

Picture note by Jaybird: Here’s Christian Slater and Tamara Mellon at the Swimming With Sharks gala performance in London on October 17th. Botox much? Images thanks to WENN.

Those young royals are always getting themselves into trouble. Whether it’s Prince Harry snorting alcohol, feeling up random girls’ boobs (alright I guess I should correct that based on the picture: feeling up random girls’ implants), or injecting the blood of kittens directly into his veins, there’s always something raunchy going on. Okay I’m not sure you can inject the blood of kittens into your veins – or that it would do anything if you did – but I also didn’t know you could snort alcohol, and Prince Harry definitely did that. So he’s probably up on some other things I don’t know about too.

The latest royal debacle takes it up a notch: one of the younger royals has been blackmailed over a sex tape. Well, a tape that discusses sex. But the press is calling it a sex tape because that’s more sensational, so I’m going to follow their blatantly irresponsible lead. The tape involves an aid to one of the young royals, who discusses having sex with said royal, and then does a line of coke. The coke was supposedly supplied by the royal. The police won’t say which kid it is, though the coke makes one think of Prince Harry. However an article mentions both the princes and their cousin, Zara Phillips as well as Lord Frederick Windsor. Then it goes on to say it’s definitely not either of the princes. I don’t really buy that, but I’m not going to piss off the royal family by claiming otherwise.

Two men, were arrested and charged with blackmail over the incident. Socialite Ian Strachan and Sean McGuigan were charged at Westminster Magistrates’ Court. Strachan claims to be somewhat connected to the royal family.

On September 11, the two men arranged to meet their source at London’s Hilton Hotel to negotiate the sale of the material, but were instead met by undercover police who promptly arrested them. A police source said: “We were contacted by the staff of a member of the royal family who said they were being targeted by extortionists. “After discussions with the royal and staff we began a covert operation. Phone calls involving the alleged blackmailers were recorded. It culminated last month in the alleged extortionists attending a meeting at a Mayfair hotel with an undercover officer. The meeting was recorded on audio tape and film.

“After a discussion between the police officer and the men, a pre-arranged signal was given and other officers moved in to arrest them. A mobile phone containing images was seized. Several addresses in west London were searched.” Strachan told his lawyers he has met Princes William and Harry twice, as well as Princess Anne’s daughter Zara Phillips and Lord Frederick Windsor.

Stachan’s lawyer denies his client has ever blackmailed a royal family member. He said: “At no time did my client call the royal household. He in fact called the private business office of the individual concerned. My client denies that he asked for any money and that it was in fact the office of the individual concerned who first offered money.” The alleged royal is not a senior member of the family, is yet to perform royal duties and is definitely not William or Harry.

[From Monsters & Critics]

My money’s still on Harry, regardless of the denials. Though I don’t know a thing about the characters of Zara Phillips or Lord Frederick Windsor. Zara Phillips is Princess Anne’s (Prince Charles’s sister) daughter, an acclaimed equestrian, and involved with multiple charities. According to Wikipedia, Frederick Windsor is an “English financial analyst who is the only son of Prince and Princess Michael of Kent. In 1999, Lord Frederick admitted experimenting with cocaine. ‘I admit it is true,’ he said. ‘It is very difficult to avoid getting into this sort of thing when you move in these circles, but I don’t blame anyone else for the incident.’” So that makes him a likely candidate, but I’m still putting my money on Harry. If it were Lord Frederick, I really doubt it would have gotten so much attention. But I guess time will tell.

Picture note by Jaybird: Here’s Zara Phillips at the 2012 Olympic Site in East London on September 25th. Image thanks to PR Photos.

Charlize Theron might be the sexiest woman alive – but who’s the sexiest old person? Jane Fonda’s working on it, at 69.

I’d like to make “a film about eroticism and ageing - a sexy, sensual film about older women,” Fonda was quoted as saying in the German weekly Die Zeit.

“Unfortunately, I don’t get that many offers anymore [for film roles],” she added.

Fonda said if the movie project does not work out, she would throw herself into a book project she is working on.

“I’m going to write a book about ageing particularly targeted at women. I am doing a lot of interviews for it,” she said.

The Melbourne Age

I like the fact that she uses words like ‘old’ in this interview. I’ve heard people in interviews talk about the elderly, ageing people, sunset years, I even heard someone avoid the word old and use the term geriatric (which seems by far more offensive than the term they avoided). While I might not be inclined to star in an erotic film when I get to Jane Seymour’s age, in fact I’m pretty sure I’ll be keeping my kit on for film even now, there are no Paris sex tapes in my hard drive, I’d still like someone to be appreciating it when I get naked for them. At any age.

This comes hot on the heels of this television ad, featuring two people in their 80’s getting it on in a garden. Is this the last sexual taboo we need to get past? Is Jane Fonda, who was so right about us all needing to exercise back in the 1980’s, now about to educate the world on the pleasures of the wrinkled flesh? She did look pretty fabulous when she appeared au naturel on the cover of Good Housekeeping two years ago.

Picture note by Celebitchy: Jane Fonda is shown at The Metropolitan Opera Opening Night Gala on 9/24/07 thanks to PRPhotos.

Justin Timberlake revealed on Oprah that he enjoys using webcams with his “friends” while he’s away on tour because it makes him feel closer to them. That led me to wildly speculate that he’s having webcam sex with Jessica Biel, but I bet I wasn’t that far off the mark.

This week’s Star Magazine reports that Justin was bragging to his roadies that he’d just had sex with Jessica backstage when he was having an intermission while Timbaland performed.

Why does Timbaland have such a long performance during the intermission at buddy Justin Timberlake’s concerts? It could be so Justin can have some “private time” with his lady, Jessica Biel. On Sept. 18 Jessica and Justin had a quickie during Timbalands 30-minute sex - and when the pair were finished with their romp, Justin came out and announced it to pals hanging backstage!

[From Star Magazine, print edition, October 15, 2007]

I can see a nice quickie while you’re having a break from performing. You’re probably all riled up from the crowd, sweaty and ready to go. Bragging to your friends afterwards is lame, though, and I hope that part isn’t true.

There was a cute young married couple at one of the dot coms where I used to work that inevitably shut down. They would go out for “coffee” a few times a week and no one really cared because it was one of those casual workplaces where we had a lot of freedom before it inevitably went bankrupt, owing us several paychecks. We were all out at lunch and the guy mentioned something in passing about quickies and I said “oh, so that’s what you two are doing when you supposedly go to Dunkin Donuts.” They both turned red and I realized that I was right.

My rambling point is that there’s nothing wrong with a quickie, as long as you don’t announce it to everyone. That means you’re a little too vocal about your sexuality, not that anyone would accuse Justin Timberlake of that.

Despite not being willing to mention Jessica Biel’s name on Oprah last month, it seems like Justin Timberlake is finally ready to go public with their relationship. He was spotted out holding hands with Jessica in Toronto, Ontario last week. He was there filming a new movie.

Justin Timberlake is shown at the MTV VMAs on 9/9/07.

Everyone is all atwitter that George Clooney was seen carrying a “sex ramp,” and he definitely was. It’s called the Liberator (link NSFW!) and is supposed to raise the womans hips for a more pleasurable angle and facilitate different positions or something. I’ve actually heard of it before because one of our advertisers on Celebitchy, Black Label Adult Shop, had these for a while, but Clooney must have snapped them all up because they’re sold out now.

It seems to be more evidence that Clooney is into some kinky shit in the bedroom, and commentors on Gossip Rocks were going back and forth about whether it could be used for massage therapy for his recent injury or if it was indeed a sex ramp. The purple color gives it away and there’s no mistaking what it is.

The picture that has everyone talking is of Clooney in casual-looking clothes looking like he’s carrrying the thing out to a waiting cab where his girl toy is about to be spirited to the airport and back to her bleak existence as a Vegas cocktail waitress, the sex ramp a sad reminder of the price she had to pay for a few weeks of premieres and expensive restaurants. Unfortunately that’s not the case and the photo was taken on the NY set of Clooney’s new film, Burn After Reading.

Splash News give this picture description:

George Clooney pretends to hurt his leg on the set of his new movie. The actor was waiting to shoot a scene when he jokingly kicked a moving car and pretended to hurt his knee. He turned around and smiled at the director. In the scene George was carring a large purple triangle that he pulled out from a parked car. He is in New York at the moment filming ‘Burn After Reading’.

[From Splash News photo description, public link unavailable]

Unlike Madonna and the purple penetrator, this isn’t really evidence that Clooney is anything but a good employee just doing his job.

If you want to purchase something similar to spice things up in the bedroom you’re better off heading to your local medical supply store and getting an orthopedic wedge. It might not be exactly the same incline, but it’s about $100 cheaper and you can be creative. When I was pregnant I slept with one of these and found it very comfortable. I never knew how versatile it was.

Picture below from Jezebel.com, and you can also tell Clooney is on set because he was sporting that same outfit in other photos that came out of him filming this week. The photos of Clooney on set in a suit are thanks to Splash News.