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Oct 18
'06
Nicole Richie loves bathroom quickies


Her matchstick body must not be able to withstand more than a few minutes pounding, because this is the third story I’ve heard that Nicole Richie is a fan of the quickie:

I knew the NICOLE RICHIE-BRODY JENNER romance was headed for the toilet! Just days before the split, a lady shrieked when she opened the restroom door at swanky BevHills eatery Kate Mantilini and discovered the emaciated “Simple Life” star and “Princes of Malibu” hunk Brody – who were definitely NOT rehearsing for a new reality TV show together – wrapped tighter than snakes and lip-locked closerthanthis! Red-faced, the lady closed the door, then clocked a good five minutes before the heavy-breathers exited. When the pent-up lady finally got in and concluded business, she found evidence of Nicole and “Prince” Brody’s hot struggle – his wallet on the floor – but gritted her teeth and dropped it on their table as she exited.

Back in the spring, Nicole was forced to deny that she had a bathroom quickie with Jason Mewes of “Jay and Silent Bob” fame after his pal, director Kevin Smith, let the news slip during a speech at a school. He said that Nicole “made a man” of Mewes in less than a minute in a bathroom stall.

Homophobe Busta Rhymes also claims to have given it to Nicole “real quick.”

This news of Nicole and Brody’s bathroom tryst contrasts both of their public statements about their failed relationship. Nicole said on her myspace that they “were never really together,” while Brody recently told Star Magazine that he really “just wanted to be friends:”

As for Nicole, Brody says it was bickering that doomed them. Brody, 23, told Star at the Los Angeles Lakers golf tournament in Las Vegas on Oct. 16. “It was getting too serious. We started fighting. There was too much bickering. I’ve known her since we were kids and I really just wanted to be friends. She’s a great girl and now we are good friends.” He also said geography was also a big factor in why he and Nicole began dating in the first place. “She lived above me, you know, in the apartment building. So it was convenient.”

Brody is now with “The Hills” star Lauren Conrad while Nicole is dating a French fashion editor, Samuel Plouchart.

The header is an old candid of Nicole and Brody out in Malibu on 9/3. Here are Nicole and her stylist, the incompetent Rachel Zoe, out at a party for fashion designer Charlotte Ronson. Thanks to Just Jared for these pictures

Posted in Breakups, Hookups, Nicole Richie, Photos, Sex

Written by Celebitchy         8 Comments »
Oct 11
'06
George Clooney, Why You Cheeky Little Bugger!


Holy Moly Blind Item

Which mega-MEGA Hollywood actor boffed the obligatory friend of a friend whilst still seeing his British girlfriend?

All went well on their first date and she ended up in bed with the salt & peppered lothario. It was going so well she agreed to a bit of rear entry as

“It was ****** (Salt and Pepper Lothario nomenclature deleted), what was I going to do? Say no?!”

He rang her for second date, back to hotel, he flips her over again, although she’s a bit miffed. Anyway, she’s biting the pillow when she hears a strange gargling noise, looks over her shoulder and he is there, having a thoroughly good time, choking himself with a tie.

George Clooney and The Ties that Blind

Dateline London: George Clooney at the Tradesman’s Entrance

Following the lead of top UK publication Holy Moly — Vanity Fair, in an unprecedented editorial move, decided its November cover and indeed the entire issue had become irrelevant. The late breaking Clooney News meant it all had to be re-done — regardless of cost or timing. In a move that has stunned the the publishing world Vanity Fair Editor Graydon Carter has pulled all issues of their November Magazine featuring George Clooney on the cover.

The November issue was already available on newstands in L.A. and N.Y.C. as of October 5th — and was scheduled for release elsewhere in the U.S on October 10 … but STOP THE PRESSES. Vanity Fair trucks have been collecting unsold issues for pulping and bird cage lining … and Newstands across the country are on Standby for delivery of the Emergency re-edit.

We spoke to one Upen Piggybhai Patel at New York’s Grand Central Station … where he has been a newspaper and fine publications vendor for over thirty years.

“I first came to know about Graydon’s fixation for relevancy and very nowness from his mother, but still when I hear this recall tamasha I thought he has decided to pull a fast one. Scandal comes and goes … why make such a fuss.

“I mean he signed one after another big banner film stars for his covers and never recalled previously. He has always held Clooneybhai in the highest esteem. He was always looking forward to working with him.”

The shocking news of Clooney’s Ride down the Perilous Hutchence Highway fully banalized the original articles.

Even such formerly fascinating information as the Clooney-esque take on prostitution:

“I’d never seen a hooker in my life, coming from Kentucky and all these girls came up to the car and were like, ‘Baby, want to party? You want to party with me?’ And I was like, ‘Girls love me, man! I ‘m on fire in this town! I should have come here a long time ago! Chicks dig me!’ And Miguel goes, ‘They’re hookers, you idiot.”

Became patently absurd as wastes of glossy page space.

The homo-chic tweak of his manly Georgian views on the hotness that is Clive Owen:

“(He is) the big find in the past two or three years. I think he’s a movie star. He’s, like, a man - there’s a sexuality and a masculinity that I think is really interesting.”

These cologne scented observations — even while nestled between high end folded fragrance samples — now had the resonance and relevance of a breaking story on John Kerry’s Botox use.

What will Graydon bring Forth … now that we all know ?? How will Vanity Fair handle the substantive issues raised by this very contemporary tale of ties that bind? How will Dominic Dunne manage to name-drop while auto-asphyxiating ?

Vanity Fair’s readers worldwide are poised by their mailboxes.

You lucky buggers get to see it here first.

This post was originally published on Grumpy Old Indian Man, and is republished here under a content share agreement. If you would like to link it, please link directly to Grumpy Old Indian Man’s blog.

Posted in Art, George Clooney, Parody, Sex

Written by Grumpy Old Indian Man         18 Comments »
Oct 5
'06
Jessica Still Loves Her Pimp Daddy and Admits to Being a Cocktease


In the October 2006 issue of Allure magazine, Jessica Simpson proclaimed that the way to her heart was through accepting her father, Creepy Pa Joe.

When asked by the interviewer if she thought her father’s overarching role in her life contributed to the end of her marriage, and if any man could compete with her father, Jessica simply had this to say:

“I think any man who is intimidated by that
relationship, I don’t want to be with.”

She further went on to say that she’s not the type of girl who sleeps around.

“I am not the woman or girl or something in-between….Hmmmmm….how do I say this correctly?
I’m not the woman who’ll just sleep with you. I’ll sleep next to you - with my clothes on!”

“That’s called a tease,” (says the interviewer.)

“I’ve been told before that’s what I am,” she says laughing.

“Seriously, I do think it’s important to have an
emotional connection first before you have a
connection sexually. I believe there is no other way to have great sex.” She grabs the rooster hanging around her neck. “This is my cock!” she jokes. “This is about as raunchy as I get these days. I don’t have a cock at the moment, so I wear one around my neck. I found this when I went antiquing. I saw it and said to myself, I’ve found my cock! I’ve found my man!”

Whoah, Ken Paves’ hairspray seems to have permanently killed the brain cells in poor Jessica’s head. How this girl goes from talking about her father, to being a tease, and then going gaga for cock is just crazy.

Does she really think we are going to believe she is sleeping with her clothes on next to John Mayer? Also, does Creepy Pa Joe approve of her relationship with John? Because if he doesn’t, John’s going be out of Jessica’s life faster than you can say “Lachey”.

Posted in Family, Jessica Simpson, Joe Simpson, Sex, Uncategorized

Written by Chic Mommy         4 Comments »
Sep 21
'06
Madonna left dirty messages for JFK Junior


A friend of JFK Junior reveals in a new tell-all book, “Forever Young: My Friendship with John F. Kennedy Jr.,” that he heard a dirty message Madonna left on his answering machine:

A familiar voice was on his answering machine, calling him ‘Kennedy’ and moaning about being drunk and in Rome and describing exactly what she wanted to do with” him, Noonan writes.

Kennedy practically fell down laughing when Noonan couldn’t place the voice.

“Finally, he looked at me, calmly, like it was nothing,” he writes. “Madonna.”

This isn’t earth-shattering news. Another book about JFK Junior that came out in May revealed that he messed around with Madonna, but never got to have full sex with her for lack of a condom:

MADONNA failed to consummate her romance with JOHN F KENNEDY JR because they didn’t have any contraception, according to a new book written by the late socialite’s former university pal.

ROBERT LITTELL claims the pair were worried their fling would become public if they went out to buy condoms.

In his new tell-all, THE MEN WE BECAME, Littell says, “John and Madonna were in a hotel room in Chicago, unable how to figure out how to get some contraception into the room without getting caught.

“While them managed to entertain themselves, they never achieved what would have been the definitive celebrity coupling.”

Author William Sylvester Noonan reveals in this latest book that Kennedy’s wife Carolyn Bessette was using drugs, which made her manipulative and “sneaky.” He said that before their untimely death in a plane crash in July, 1999, JFK Jr. told him that Carolyn was “better,” and may have cleaned up.

Posted in Madonna, Sex

Written by Celebitchy         10 Comments »
Sep 19
'06
Kate Moss and Pete Doherty almost have public sex at rehab


Supermodel Kate Moss and notorious junkie Pete Doherty were reumored to be engaged a few weeks ago, and were said to be planning a quickie wedding in Ibiza. Pete was ordered off to rehab after another drug arrest and/or trial, I can’t keep up, which put a damper on their plans. The lovebirds are still together, though, and they were spotted in flagrante outside on a bench at Pete’s rehab facility:

“It happened between half six and seven o’clock on Sunday evening.

“There were a group of people attending a self-help group for the day. Because it was pleasant weather, their leader suggested they move things outside.

“But during their session they noticed a couple getting rather fruity on a nearby bench. They were kissing and groping each other. Hands were going up clothing and there was lots of groaning.

“They were practically having full-blown sex.

“Then people realised it was Moss and Doherty — her skinny blue jeans were the giveaway. But a second later the couple noticed they were being watched and pulled away.”

Kate has made a handful of low-key visits to see Pete during his four weeks in the clinic fighting drug addiction.

She has always gone out of her way to enter and exit like a ninja — without being spotted. But it seems like her lust for Pete got the better of her on this occasion

Everyone’s buzzing about Kate Moss’ new look. The stick-thin supermodel donned some plain high-waisted carpenter jeans at Fashion Week, perhaps signifying the demise of the skinny jean trend. Her fashion change could have been influenced by this incident at Pete’s rehab facility where her skinny jeans gave her away.

If only she’d buck the “dating a druggie” trend too.

Pictures from Haute Gossip.

Posted in Addictions, Fashion, Kate Moss, Pete Doherty, Photos, Reconciliations, Sex

Written by Celebitchy         2 Comments »
Sep 14
'06
Tom Cruise likes rasslin’ (gay sex details may bother some people)


A new book about shady Hollywood attorney Anthony Pellicano is set to blow the lid on how Tom Cruise’s romp with a male prostitute was kept out of the tabloids. There’s an entire chapter online, and while it’s quite long it’s a trashy and worthwhile read.

Author Paul Barresi was working as a producer of gay porn films when he spoke to adult film star and prolific male hooker, “Big Red,” a buff readheaded guy who advertised in gay men’s magazines and websites. Big Red approached Barresi about selling his tales of hooking up with some of Hollywood’s hottest guys. Barresi was impressed with Red’s story, and found his claims both believable and verifiable. He arrange to have him speak with a contact at The National Enquirer in exchange for a cut of the profits.

He adamantly stood his guns, claiming that he could enumerate the dates, times and details of various sordid sex acts that he engaged in with his celebrity partners. “I’ve kept a detailed diary and I have receipts from restaurants, hotels, night clubs, plus other documentation as well as eye witnesses who are willing to go on the record to support my claims.”

You can’t get much better than that. Now, I’m thinking if this guy is on the level, I can make a bundle of money in any number of ways. In my mind’s eye, I first saw a story with The National Enquirer…

PAUL: Okay, before we get ahead of ourselves, let me ask you a few other preliminary questions. How many clients do you service on a monthly basis?

RED: Well, now sometimes I’ll take a month or two off, just to catch up but, in a good month, I’ll service about three to five hundred men.

PAUL: You stated you attracted celebrity clientele, one of whom is Tom Cruise. Name some of the others. Just their names for now.

RED: There’s Antonio Bandares, Jason Priestly and country singers Garth Brooks and Randy Travis.

PAUL: Okay, how did Garth Brooks find you?

RED: On boyzusa.com.

Big Red went on to tell how he topped Garth brooks for over two hours with the help of some Viagra and a condom. He said he got paid about $500-$600 and was flown out to service Brooks, who he called a whale.

Compared to that encounter, his sporty jerk-off with Tom Cruise, who dressed up in a little wrestling suit for the occasion, sounds almost chaste. Cruise was in London filming “Eyes Wide Shut” at the time, and was in the last stages of his marriage to Nicole Kidman.

I then brought up the subject of his alleged encounter with Tom Cruise. That interested me more than the others because I knew that’s where the big bucks would come in. The tabs love anything that connects Cruise even remotely to the word gay because there is always a major reaction from him. He is one of the most homophobic actors in the world.

I urged him to continue. This particular encounter, he said, took place in London during the filming of Eyes Wide Shut, on location there.

RED: Marcello (club host) took me to a room outside this club to wait and I just sat there. Then two men came into the room. They told me it would be a very simple job and that they were going to pay me in cash, showing me an envelope with approximately five hundred UK pounds in cash.

PAUL: Then what?

RED: They took me with them in a car and we drove, I think to the Highgate area, to a house. Nothing spectacular. We went into the back of the house where Tom Cruise was sitting on a small sofa. A mat had been spread out on the floor. Cruise, dressed in what looked like a body suit, looked so cute. Either a black or very dark navy blue body suit for wrestling. He had on a little cap thingy, but the chin strap wasn’t attached.

Grinning and gloating at me, he said, “Strip down to your underwear and play with me for a little while.” That’s really the only conversation we had. We played. We wrestled. He was nice to me. I mean, he let me win, then he asked me if it was okay if he could rip off my briefs and told me he would buy me a new pair.

I remember looking very close into his eyes and (I could tell because I used to tint my eyebrows and lashes) - maybe not his brows, but for sure his lashes were tinted because they had been growing out and I could see kind of like a lighter color around the edges of his eyes and if you look closer, he is a very fair skinned man.

PAUL: You wrestled around with him for how long?

RED: About an hour and a half, maybe.

PAUL: And what was going on?

RED: I was in my underwear and he was touching my butt mostly and, his finger - through the underwear touched my anus and he was stroking my balls, just a little bit. It was quick. He whispered in my ear, “It’s okay. Just relax. Just relax.” At one time he actually picked me up and threw me down and said, “I think red heads are really hot, and I hear you’re called Big Red.” Then, once my underwear was off, he got into some serious stroking. He told me to jack off so he could watch. I did and after I came, he threw me a towel. I got dressed and then the two men drove me back to the club in London.

After The National Enquirer passed on publishing Red’s sordid wrestling story, they got a call from - you guessed it - celebrity lawyer Anthony Pellicano, who is currently under investigation by the feds for illegal wiretapping and racketeering.

Pellicano grilled Red on his encounter with Cruise for over an hour and a half, reducing him to a blubbering mess. At the end, though, Pellicano admitted to Barresi that Red’s story was believable and that he knew key details about Cruise to back it up:

After an hour, Red became so petrified, he began looking away and stuttered when he spoke. I thought Pellicano would cause him to either crack or shit his pants. Strange as it may seem, however, Red survived Pellicano’s brutal questioning.

Anthony later pulled me aside and said, “I think this kid’s telling the truth. I find him to be credible.” It made no difference to me. It is well known in celebrity circles, that an accusation doesn’t have to be true, to create a smear campaign. Pellicano cashed in on that concept. A Hollywood star can’t afford even a whiff of scandal, because a tall tale can cause irreparable damage.

Barresi says The Enquirer tipped off Pellicano on the story to get him to check out it’s veracity. Instead of admitting that he believed Red, Pellicano told The Enquirer that Red was making it up, and went back to Cruise for a hefty payoff.

Red’s phone was predictably tapped after his scary encounter with Pellicano, and he often saw an unmarked van outside of his place. He ended up moving to Europe for a while and servicing less dangerous rich people. Barresi only made a $5,000 payoff after all the work he put into grooming Red.

There’s so much dirt in this story it’s amazing. I haven’t even touched the news that this gay hooker claims to have been with Antonio Bandares, Jason Priestly, and Randy Travis. He also says opera singer Andrea Boccelli was a long term client.

I don’t know if it’s true, but it convinced me. If it’s made up, why would they make Tom Cruise’s sexcapade so tame? He wrestled with a guy, touched him, and then watched him jerk off. It doesn’t sound like that much of a scandal if you ask me.

I want to know why women like Angelina Jolie can have well known affairs with the same sex while it’s taboo and career-ending for the men of Hollywood. I only care that Tom Cruise likes the company of men because he denies it so much.

Posted in Scandals, Sex, Tom Cruise

Written by Celebitchy         13 Comments »
Sep 11
'06
Kirsten Dunst had kinky sex with Jake Gyllenhaal, wants to get back with him


I know you don’t want to think about this, but Kirsten Dunst called Jake Gyllenhaal the love of her life and said that they had sex every place and every which way:

“Jake and I couldn’t last. He’s a stay-at-home boy and I’m an out-on-the-town girl.

“We tried to spice things up — we had sex in cars, in the bathroom and even by the sea. The only place we didn’t have the guts to try was in a walkway in a hotel because we thought we might get kicked out if we were caught.

“I’m so young, he’s so young and I just keep thinking now I need to be on my own.”

But Kirsten opened her heart to talk of her secret sadness at the break-up and her hopes for the future.

“Jake was the love of my life,” she said. “He was, is and always will be. “Despite what has happened, though, I still have this whole fairytale vision in my head because I was brought up on movies and storybooks that say I’m going to find my soulmate, get married and have a perfect life. “Maybe one day that will be with Jake.”

Kirsten, 24, who split with the 25-year-old Donnie Darko star last year, added: “Maybe I’m a weird girl and I just needed a good freak to match me.

“In Jake I believe I found that. He’s a dork. That’s what I love about him.

“But I felt that at the age of 22 I just wasn’t ready to settle for a long-term commitment. “I feel so young and there’s still so much to do and see. But I’m not seeing anyone else and as far as I know neither is he…”

She said: “Maybe some day it will work out for us. I’m sad this happened but my career is blossoming and I want to make the most of every moment.

“We’re two people who’ve been in love and the feelings we have for each other will remain very special.

I don’t believe we’re finished for ever…and neither does he.”

She also saud that she would have “a glass” of champagne before bed to unwind. I bet it was more than one glass. She revealed in a recent interview on “The Tonight Show” that she buys cases of champagne at Costco and it’s often the only thing in her fridge.

Good luck there Kirsten. If this interview is to be believed, I don’t know why she’s pining for Gyllenhaal. She was spotted out with a new guy on 9/3. They could just be friends, but judging by their body language it looks to be more than that. [via]

Posted in Breakups, Hookups, Jake Gyllenhaal, Kirsten Dunst, Photos, Sex

Written by Celebitchy         6 Comments »
Aug 22
'06
Paris Hilton’s mom told her that giving blowjobs gives you acne scars


Us Weeky has the highlights from Paris Hilton’s new interview in Blender magazine, and they’re hilarious. She “f’in hates” when fans touch her, cries when listening to her own album, and reveals that her baby-doll act and insane ambition were inspired by her narcissistic grandmother.

The best part, though, is that her mom Kathy told her that acne scars were caused by giving oral sex. At age 19, Paris supposedly believed her:

“My mom told me that you get those holes in your face, craters – she knew this person who had craters. I’m like, ‘What is that from?’ She’s like, from giving bl-w j-bs.” “I’m like, ‘You get craters?’ And I totally believed her. She’s like, ‘It’s from sucking.’ I’m like, ‘Ewwww!’ I told my boyfriend – he’s like, ‘Why don’t you ever do that?’ I’m like, ‘Because my mom told me you get these craters.’ And he’s like, ‘Paris, you’re 19. You’re allowed to do this.’”

Maybe Pink believes this too, and that’s why she thinks blowjobs are gross.

Is it surprising that at the age of 19 Paris was as gullibe and uninformed about sex as the average grade school student? Maybe she wouldn’t be as successful if she wasn’t that stupid. It’s a good thing for her that she never finished high school.

Here are some pictures of Paris at an in-store appearance at Best Buy on August 18th and in Blender Magazine.

Thanks to Gossipin for the tip, and to Hollywoods Best for these photos.

Posted in Magazines, Paris Hilton, Photos, Sex, SmartSmartSmart

Written by Celebitchy         4 Comments »
Aug 18
'06
Why Kate Hudson and Chris Robinson really broke up: orgies and threesomes


Kate Hudson is now said to be riding the Buttersotch stallion, her co-star Owen Wilson, which people speculate hastened the end of her marriage to Black Crowes singer Chris Robinson. Kate also made many comments suggesting that Chris was unfaithful on tour, but as long as she didn’t know about it she wouldn’t worry. It turns out that it’s worse than that. The PopBitch e-mail newsletter claims that Chris got Kate involved in orgies and she wasn’t into it:

Speculation surrounding the end of Kate Hudson and Chris Robinson’s marriage seems to be focusing on her close friendship with Owen Wilson. But there were longer-term issues. Like many rocks singers, Chris is fond of group sex and threesomes while on tour, and Black Crowes insiders had often seen Chris and Kate heading to their hotel with a keen groupie or fan in tow. But by the end of the last tour Kate was said to be tagging along like a turkey on its way to Christmas lunch.

If that’s true she probably doesn’t mind a little friendly tossed salad with Owen as long as he has eyes only for her.

That’s sad and goes to show that it really doesn’t matter how hot, rich or sweet someone is if their partner wants to cheat.

My husband and I have a theory, though, that only unattractive and/or overweight people are swingers. We saw a German “documentary” on swingers and most of them were butt ugly. This blows that theory completely out of the water.

Here is Kate Hudson in August’s Allure magazine. [via]

Posted in Breakups, Kate Hudson, Owen Wilson, Sex

Written by Celebitchy         5 Comments »
Aug 18
'06
Yanni’s a perv with a huge sex toy collection, but he’s organized!


Elevator music performer Yanni, master of the pan flute, has a huge collection of sex toys which he delights in organizing by size, color, and penetration level. His ex-girlfriend says he cleans his vibrators, dildos, and butt plugs excessively. She also claims he takes a lot of Viagra and is a sex addict:

Greek musician YANNI has a wacky sex toy collection that he organises by size and colour and obsessively cleans, according to his ex-girlfriend. Bolivian brunette SILVIA BARTHES, who filed assault charges against the new age star earlier this year (06), has gone public with the secrets of her sex-fuelled fling with Yanni. She claims the beloved musician is a Viagra-guzzling sex addict, who uses toys to spice up his bedroom activities. Speaking to America’s Globe publication, Barthes claims Yanni, real name YANNI CHRYSSOMALLIS, would ask her to pick out sex toys for him at his favourite Miami, Florida boutiques. She says, “He would give me $300 worth of $50 bills and say, ‘Bring me candy for my eyes - surprise me.’ “He organises all the toys by size and colour, and he is always cleaning them.” Barthes also tells the publication that the Greek star also persuaded her to wear sexy clothes, like French maid outfits and black Latex gloves. Charges that Barthes brought against Yanni in March (06) were dropped due to lack of evidence.

This same woman claimed Yanni hit her in March of this year, while he said he just grabbed her arm. Yanni spent a day in jail after the incident but all charges against him were dropped. Maybe he was just pissed off because she didn’t bring him back enough sex toys for his collection. His music is so boring, he’s got to spice up his life somehow.

Posted in Abusive, Sex, Yanni

Written by Celebitchy         3 Comments »
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Recent Comments:
  • vdantev: Accident, kinda like his ability to attract a woman.
  • Vixen: He just looks old and drained now! And I’m soooooo sick of hearing about these two!
  • aleach: i really do feel for her. yeah, she may be a spoiled brat, but theres a lot going on under the surface,...
  • vdantev: Such an interesting interpretation of heterosexual masculinity her ‘husband’ is.
  • vdantev: Behavior that reflects badly on the franchise is a big no-no.
  • aleach: ew haha look at her “mom” in that picture!! she thinks shes hot shit. im embarassed for this...
  • Sunnyjyl: Parents pay through the nose for these things. I didn’t realize these archaic events still took...
  • aleach: i really wish i could just slap this bitch! even if she doesnt agree with what some of you call “new...
 
 

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