Woody Allen’s French nanny was summoned to Colin Farrell’s hotel room for some awkward quickies before the London premiere of “Miami Vice.” She says he’s got a small dick and that he really sucks in bed. He made love to her three times in just an hour and a half. He invited her to the premiere and after party, but she left once she saw that he was getting cosy with Gong Li:

The best part is that she compared him to James Blunt. That’s so nasty that Colin didn’t wear protection!

I would like confirmation that he’s poorly endowed, though. Has anyone seen Colin’s sex video? He’s all covered up in the screencaps. (NSFW)

It sounds like this woman is bitter than Colin didn’t contact her again and hooked up with Gong Li instead. I believe her, though. Colin sounds like a teenager with no staying power. Maybe he’ll be embarassed enough by this story to use a condom and some manners next time.

Here are some candids of Colin taken on 8/3. [via]

Christina Aguilera says that she loves having sex with her husband, music producer Jordan Bratman, in public places.

Unfortunately Aguilera seems to prefer indoor public places, making embarassing pictures unlikely. I don’t really want to imagine Aguilera and Bratman having sex, and wish I never brought it up.

Here they are outside of a restaurant on 7/28. Aguilera looks drunk, and she seems to have dribbled something on her left breast. [via]

Singer George Michael was caught trawling for sex in a public place yet again. He was forced to come out in 1998 after being caught in a sting by an attractive policeman in a public bathroom in Los Angeles. He made fun of the incident in the video for his song “Outside” and talked about his shame on Oprah. Now that he’s been caught having sex with a nasty old guy he’s not going to play it off so easily.

News of the World followed the poor guy that George fondled back to his squalid flat in Brighton. They interviewed the guy and he gave the sordid details:

That’s nice that George didn’t make fun of the old dude for whatever weird thing he’s got going on down there. Maybe he’s a woman or something. Whatever you’re into.

When confronted by The News of The World snoops, who were either in the park for some random fun themselves or who routinely trail George Michael, George said “Are you gay? No? Then f*** off! This is my culture!”

That’s like saying it’s heterosexual culture to hook up with prostitutes, isn’t it?

George Michael is about to embark on a 50-concert comeback tour, which sold out in a half hour.

Here are some low-res pictures from the article. They’re too good not to publish.

I know, just like me you would be in a shock too after seeing Lindsay Lohan in between her guy’s legs, doing…you know what. However, after looking at picture carefully, I realized that it’s a movie shoot.

But I still find it a bit awkward, it might not be a new thing for Lindsay but her mum would land up in a shock if this scene makes it to the screen. Better known as Teen queen, Lindsay seems to be ready to do anything and everything to make it big in the industry. A few months back, she said she would go topless for an Oscar.

Via Popsugar

This article was originally published on Celebguru and is used under a content share agreement while Celebitchy is on vacation.

In a pledge that she’ll probably forget next week, Paris Hilton confirmed to Britain’s Guardian that she plans on being celibate for an entire year:

Paris says she makes her own money and deserves to be known for her, uh, fame, rather than her status as an heiress. She also brags about how gracious and sweet she is:

Paris dishes on Nicole in the article, saying that fame has changed her and that it “breaks her heart” while she’s stayed the same, vapid person all along.

Author Naomi Wolf calls Paris a “palette cleanser” and compares her bland sexy-innocent image to white noise:

When told about Wolf’s assessment of her, Paris says she doesn’t know what it means, but that she thinks it’s “nice.”

While some people give Paris credit for her skyrocketing image, I believe her and think she’s just been the same shop-a-holic party-girl all the time.

Of course I don’t believe that she’s going to be celibate for a year, because chances are she said that in a brief two-week lull and will forget all about it when the next hookup presents itself.

Paris is seen in a new photoshoot by Dave Hogan, and posing with her sister, Nicky, on July 8th in LA. She is also shown shopping for prison shorts on July 7th. [via]

British singer and cad Robbie Williams was said to have had sex with so many young ladies while on his latest tour that he needed to be treated for exhaustion. The Sun reports that he bedded four ladies in five days:

Robbie is out of shape from too much smoking if he can’t perform with one woman a day. Jamie Foxx slept with four women all at once and still managed to make out with more on stage.

That woman who wrote “I’m a doctor - shag me” on her chest was probably put up to it by her friends and didn’t expect to even get to talk to Robbie, not to mention fuck him. Everything I know about picking up rock stars I learned from “Almost Famous” and some documentary featuring those chicks who made plaster casts of the big rock stars’ penises. It seems like you have to be mysterious and cool, or have some sort of angle to land a rock star for the night.

Robbie must be a straightforward guy who is just taking what he gets if he’s going for the easy prey. Robbie said earlier that he had a hard time getting laid because women were naturally wary of him, so he’s undoubtedly grateful for his good luck while on tour.

Here are pictures of Robbie at The Max Beesley Gala Dinner on June 4th and one outside his hotel in Amsterdam on June 20th. I’m not too up on British celebrities, and need to get ready for my trip, so you’ll excuse me for not identifying everyone. I do think I spot Simon Le Bon. Pictures [via]

Victoria Silvstedt’s new boyfriend is a little troll. He has buck teeth and a belly and is about a foot shorter than her. He must be richer than sin to land 1997’s Playmate of the Year. From the looks of these pictures of him giving her oral off a dock in Sardinia, [via] he knows what he’s doing in that department because she’s clearly pleased.

Sky News published a story about these pictures on June 14th, called “Who are little ‘n large?” but it has been removed from their site.

Swedish model Silvstedt is 31.

Heather Mills says that sex book she posed for in the 80s wasn’t hardcore porn at all - it was just an innocent “Lover’s Guide” meant to help frigid Germans better connect with their significant others.

It seems like the poses in the book are effective, because the guy she’s pictured with says he made sweet love to her afterwards:

There’s also no way that book is just a how-to manual, since there is no text in it that would add even a smidgeon of legitimacy to Mills’ claim.

The Sun asked everyday people to review it for uh, educational content, and they were unanimous that it’s porn:

The more details we learn, the more it seems like the leak of these dirty pictures is definitely beneficial to Sir Paul, even if he didn’t get joint custody of his daughter.

Nicole Kidman is supposedly withholding sex from her fiance Keith Urban until he marries her on June 25th:

This sounds made up, but it’s pretty funny and we’re prone to believe it. Kidman is Catholic and probably thinks that she can make up for lots of premarital sex by pretending it never happened for a little while.

While Urban’s publicist did confirm his engagement with Nicole right after she announced the news, he was reportedly pissed off when she made it public and doesn’t feel ready to get married. It also seems as if Nicole and Keith have had problems in their relationship, with some reports saying that Keith wanted time off a little over a month ago. There’s also a rumor that he’s drinking a lot and sleeping around.

Withholding sex from a guy is a dangerous way to pique his interest in you, and Nicole is probably trying to hold out for a while in the hope that Keith will realize what he’s missing. This reminds me of an Eddie Murphy sketch where he compares lack of sex causing you to go crazy for a woman to being really hungry and thinking crackers are delicious. It might work for Nicole, but if Keith is getting his kicks elsewhere this strategy will backfire.

In related news, Bette Midler has denied that she’s been asked to sing at the Kidman-Urban wedding.