These are some newish photos of Kim Kardashian, Kourtney and Kris Humphries in NYC yesterday. They got pap’d by a million different photographers all day. By the way, Kim and Kris also got “pap’d” on their honeymoon, shock! Us Weekly has the exclusive photos here – it’s basically just a honeymoon photo shoot, professionally done, glossy and Photoshopped. There’s also a threatening quote from a source claiming that Kim is the “the kind of bride who’d be thrilled if she had gotten pregnant on her honeymoon.” KATFACE BABIES.

Anyway, did you hear about Kim’s sex tape and how “someone” wants to get it off the market? I think this might be less about Kim and more about Kris Jenner though:

Someone is looking to buy the rights to the Kim Kardashian sex tape from Vivid Entertainment … claiming they’re willing to pay big bucks to “completely remove it from the market.”

TMZ has learned the mystery buyer has hired a lawyer in Tennessee — who fired off a letter to Vivid honcho Steve Hirsch yesterday which reads, “I was approached by a private party who has asked us about looking into the possibility of acquiring all rights of the Vivid, ‘Kim Kardashian Sex Tape.’”

The lawyer adds, “The party we represent does not intend to distribute or broadcast the ‘tape,’ but hopes to completely remove it from the market.”

The buyer also wants to purchase all of the raw, unused footage (sex tape outtakes) that never made it to the DVD.

The lawyer never identifies his client — but leaves a giant hint … writing, “We would purchase any other footage you may have control of that involves Ms. Kardashian.”

The lawyer NEVER mentions the other person in the tape — Ray J.

Sources close to Kim wouldn’t tell us if the reality star is the mystery buyer … but did reveal that Kim has previously shown interest in buying the rights to the tape.

[From TMZ]

The guy in charge of Vivid, Steve Hirsch, tells TMZ that is this “someone” really wants to get the tape off of the market, he’d be willing to sell it for $30 million. Hirsch says, “Based on its long term value, it looks like $30 million would be a starting point for a discussion on all of the rights. I have no idea who is behind this offer … but If it’s Kim, I have a tremendous amount of respect for her. She has my number and can call me any time.” You know that for all of her tears and whining, Kim still signed the release for the tape, and she still profited from the sale, right? My only two theories are that Kim honestly wants the tape off the market now that she’s “legit” OR Kim and her “team” (her mom) just want to remind everybody about the tape because… they’re dumb.

Photos courtesy of Fame.

Paris Hilton, her monotone voice and her Botoxed to hell mom were on The Piers Morgan Show last night. She went on at length about how her sex tape partner, Rick Soloman, sold her out and ruined her dreams in the process. At one point she even sort-of compared herself to Princess Diana. It was ridiculous. Throughout it all, Paris’ mom Kathy cried but only her lips and hands moved while her unnaturally puffy face tried to scrunch up in a “sad” expression that she couldn’t quite manage. Meanwhile Paris just acted and sounded bored and vapid, like she always does. She’s promoting her “World According to Paris” reality show, which premieres on Oxygen tonight.

P. HILTON: I just — just felt so betrayed. This was not some random guy. This was someone I was with for a few years.

MORGAN: That you loved?

P. HILTON: I thought I did and I can’t believe that he would do something like that to me. It’s something that changed my life forever. You know, and I was a little girl, I looked up to people like Princess Diana and these women, and I feel like he took that away from me.

This is not what I planned. I didn’t want to be known as that, and now, when people look at me they think that I’m something I’m not just because of one incident one night with someone who I was in love with. People assume — oh, she’s a slut just because of one thing that happened to me and it’s hard because I’ll never — I’ll have to live with that for the rest of my life and explain it to my children.

And it’s — it’s something that’s changed my life forever and I’ll never be able to erase it…

K. HILTON: And it doesn’t go away, I mean, that is something that will always —

MORGAN: I see people now, you know, pretty low-ranking celebrities who I suspect are almost deliberately creating sex tapes and putting them out there.

K. HILTON: Like it’s some recipe.

MORGAN: Yes — like it’s almost part of becoming a celebrity.

K. HILTON: Well, I can say this — Paris already had, you know, 14 or 12 or 14 pages in “Vanity Fair.” I think that we have to give Donald Trump and also Graydon Carter from “Vanity Fair” some credit because they both — you know, Donald actually was handling her modeling career and talked us into even allowing her, because we were friends with him. So, he really started her out and then Graydon spotted her, you know, in New York and — and did this whole story on her.

So, that really was when people started to see, you know …

[CNN Transcripts via Popeater]

Read where Paris’ mom said that her daughter had some pages in Vanity Fair so you can’t chalk her fame up to the sex tape. Piers brought it up on that ass-kissing way of his, but still it’s ridiculous. You can tell that Kathy is still hurt and upset by all this while Paris is totally over it and just giving it lip service.

I would say that like so many of her contemporaries after her, Paris may cry and complain about her sex tape getting out, but no sex tapes are released commercially without co-stars signing off on them. There’s no “hard” evidence that Paris cashed in on her sex tape, just a rumor from the NY Post that she was overheard bragging with Soloman that they’d each made a million off of it. Also, the tape coincidentally came out just a week prior to Paris’ small screen reality show debut, The Simple Life. Paris did sue Salomon for the tape’s release, but only after he sued her first for defamation when she tried to claim that she didn’t sign off on it. (I got a refresher on all that on Wiki)

So the whole sex tape issue with Paris is sketchy, and since the tape came out right before her first reality show and helped catapult her to fame, I don’t think it affected her negatively at all. There was never an option for Paris to be the next Princess Diana, and if she was aiming for that maybe she should have followed through on some of that charity work she pledged to do after she got out of jail. Like that time she promised to go to Rwanda and never quite got there. Handing her bikini photos out to orphans while her then-boyfriend was on tour in South Africa doesn’t count.

The thought of a sex tape starring Usher could be a very nice way to start my too-early day. He’s an attractive guy with a very sexy stage presence. He has helmet hair but I can overlook that. The only problem is – this sex tape features his mannish ex wife, Tameka Foster. TMZ has this news and it has the air of legitimacy since they claim to have seen a clip and to have easily identified both parties. Apparently the part the people at TMZ saw features oral sex:

A sex tape featuring Usher and his ex-wife, Tameka Foster, is being hawked around town … TMZ has learned.

TMZ was approached several days ago by someone claiming to have the sex tape. The person sent us a short video and two photos. We’ll keep this PG-13 and just say … the people in the video are both givers.

The video and photos are clear — it’s Usher and Tameka.

Sources close to Usher — without specifically admitting the existence of a sex tape — tell us they believe this video could have been among the things Usher had stolen out of his car back in December 2009. Usher reported more than $1,000,000 worth of jewelry and electronics taken — including two laptop computers.

A rep for Usher had no comment. Attempts to contact a rep for Foster were unsuccessful.

[From TMZ]

Given how acrimonious Usher’s divorce from Tameka was in mid 2009, I wouldn’t put it past her to have released this tape herself despitethe fact that they have two young boys who could be affected by it for years. Still, Tameka seems insecure about her body – she had liposuction in Brazil in early 2009 (during which she went into cardiac arrest and nearly died) and also took pains to ensure that some unflattering photos of her in a bra and underwear were removed from the web. She since posed for a sexy photoshoot, though, so it’s not out of the question that she would put this out herself or try to sell it to get back at Usher.

As TMZ points out, Usher had a bunch of loot stolen from his car around Christmastime, 2009, which could have been due to some opportunistic thieves or could have been orchestrated by Tameka. After all, she keyed his car in September of that year, which makes this whole sex tape story suspect.

So what could be a nice sex tape featuring a top R&B star becomes a reminder of Usher’s nasty divorce and his not-so-hot ex wife.

Photos of Usher and Tameka are from 2007 and 2008. Credit: PRPhotos. Photos of Usher performing are from 3/1/11. Credit: WENN.com

These are even more photos of Lady Gaga’s appearance at the Mugler runway show in Paris two days ago. She still looks really, really crazy to me, and not “Gaga is so funny” crazy either. Like, “Gaga has serious issues” crazy. Anyway, Star Magazine has an interesting story about one of Gaga’s major issues: her boyfriend, Luc Carl. Gaga and Luc got back together last year – they had dated before she was even famous, and Luc had famously broken her heart. Now that she’s famous, he’s back, although there was some minor drama about Gaga “stealing” Luc from his girlfriend at the time. Anyway, this Star Magazine report makes Luc sound like a total user. Shocking, I know. I actually feel bad for Gaga:

It’s a case of life imitating art for Lady Gaga. The Grammy award-winning singer is living out a real-life “Bad Romance” with her boyfriend, Luc Carl, 30, who friends fear is using her to advance his own career.

“Luc leveraged her fame to get a book deal,” a source close to Gaga tells In Touch. The book: The Drunk Diet: How I Lost 40 Pounds… Drunk. A Memoir By Luc Carl.

Gaga has been dutifully plugging Luc’s book while promoting Born This Way. “I am on the Drunk Diet,” she announced to Sirius Morning Mash Up on February 18, referencing her lover’s unorthodox get-fit guide, which chronicles his quest to lose weight while drinking “to excess” every night.

She knows Luc is using her

Disturbingly, friends suspect that Gaga is only too well aware of her boyfriend’s ulterior motives.

“Deep down, she feels that Luc is only back with her because of her fame and wealth – he didn’t want her before she became famous,” a friend tells In Touch.

So why stay in a relationship that the source describes as toxic? An unhealthy mix of love and fear, says her friend.

“Luc is borderline verbally abusive to Gaga. He has jokingly threatened that she best not cross him because he could smear her name,” says the source, who explains that Luc is bragging to friends that he could be sitting on a multi-million dollar fortune in the form of graphic sex tapes. Adds the source, “Because of her very low self-esteem, Gaga believe Luc is the best she’ll ever get.”

[From Star Magazine, print edition]

If the story was just about Luc “using” Gaga to launch his own BS career as author of “The Drunk Diet” (eye roll), he would only be The Gaga K-Fed. But the part about Luc being “emotionally abusive” and threatening Gaga with their sex tapes… ugh. Bastard. I bet Luc is partially responsible for this new, humorless, grandiose, boring Gaga too. She needs to dump this guy, get laid properly and take a few months off, you know? Get some sleep and get clean and eat dinner with a nice man who doesn’t care about The Act.

Photos courtesy of Fame & WENN.

Remember when you had to actually do something to be rich and/or famous, like sing, dance, act, be phenomenal at sports, or pick the right combination of two digit numbers? Well the Kardashian family has made an incredibly lucrative business out of exaggerating their personal lives, fertility and minor weight fluctuations. According to a new profile in The Hollywood Reporter, the family made $65 million dollars last year. Let’s say that number was provided by Kris to overestimate her family’s worth. We’ve heard that Kim makes about $35,000 just to show up to an event, but in this new article they estimate her appearance fee at $100,000 to $250,000. On an average week she can do two to three appearances. At 2 appearances per week that’s about $11 million dollars without even accounting for her endorsement deals. Add in all the other family members and whatever they make for their reality shows, merchandising (clothing, jewelry, perfume, etc), interviews and general famewhoring, and that ridiculous $65 million number, more than top celebrities make combined, sounds about right.

They made more money than Jolie, Bullock and Cruise combined
Since their arrival on E! in 2007, thanks to such no-boundaries behavior, the tightknit family has ably defied the laws of 15-minute reality TV fame while building a wildly profitable empire. As the cameras keep rolling on the eight-member clan’s topsy-turvy domestic life, the Kardashians have cashed in, making more money last year than what Angelina Jolie, Sandra Bullock and Tom Cruise are estimated to have earned combined: a staggering $65 million (a source close to the family confirms the figure). As manager, Kris Jenner personally takes 10 percent.

And in perhaps the most Platonic exploitation of the celebrity-industrial complex, they didn’t do it by picking up paychecks from a network or studio alone. Deploying sibling after sibling, the household, led by Kris, has crafted a wholly modern business model for making money. It’s one that emphasizes accesibility over harnesses three commercial components: fan interaction via social media (the family has a collective 13 million Twitter followers); best-selling products and brand endorsements; and, of course, that hyper-successful reality franchise (Season 5 of E!’s Keeping Up With the Kardashians averaged 3.5 million viewers a week).

In a year when men and women in the entertainment industry with business backgrounds couldn’t turn a profit, Kris Jenner could — even if critics ponder what, if any, redeeming value her family brings.

On Kim’s sex tape propelling her family into fame
It was February 2007 when Kris’ second oldest, Kim — then best known as socialite Paris Hilton’s perpetual sidekick — sat her mom down for a confession: She had made a sex tape with her then-boyfriend, musician Ray J. brother of singer Brandy. The kicker? A third party had sold the tape to adult video distributor Vivid Entertainment, and it would be going on sale at the end of the month. The celebrity press soon exploded with every last graphic detail of what the tape contained.

The timing could not have been worse. Inspired by the success of Ozzy and Sharon Osbourne’s family, Kris independently produced a presentation tape of a reality show following her family and had recently begun shopping it to different production companies.

“I thought, ‘Oh well, there goes the reality show,’ ” she say. But you can either be a problem maker or a problem solver. And I’m a problem solver. My job as her mom and manager is to take care of the problem — whatever it is. I had to cry and get upset in the privacy of my own room and then come out and help her, because she’s my daughter. What good is it for me to berate her?”

Claiming to have never seen the tape, Kris hired a crisis communications expert to help navigate the scandal. “I was way out of my league,” she says. “I would never think I knew enough to care for a situation like that. What’s that Kenny Rogers line? ‘You got to know when to hold ’em and know when to fold ’em.’ All I knew was that I had to make some lemonade out of these lemons fast. Real fast.”

The fact that Vivid had to pay Kim a figure that’s been reported at $5 million is almost beside the point. The sex tape — one of Vivid’s best-selling DVDs in 10 years — put the Kardashians on the map.

“My job was trying to take my kids’ 15 minutes and turn it into 30,” Kris recalls. Shortly afterward, her entire family would have to get comfortable in front of the camera.

[From The Hollywood Reporter]

Here’s the thing about Kim’s sex tape. It may have been upsetting to her family at first that it got out, but The Hollywood Reporter completely glosses over the fact that Kris could just have easily hired a lawyer to block it. She didn’t have to hire a “crisis communications expert” after taking the millions Vivid offered. In fact it sounds like Kris is pretty happy it turned out the way it did because she was able to parlay her daughters sex on tape into tens of millions more.

The article in The Hollywood Reporter is pretty fascinating. It would be hard to cover all the points they make about the family and how they’re raking it it, but it’s worth noting that they’re one of the first reality show families to really resonate with the public since The Osbournes. It seems like everyone and their brother has a reality show, but the Kardashians are really unique in that they have no shame and promote the hell out of themselves.

On a final note, I would be remiss if I didn’t mention the “lemonade” quote and how it might ironically pertain to certain sex acts rumored to be depicted on Kim Kardashian’s sex tape. I’ve heard that Kim’s tape doesn’t contain anything other than typical sex and that a rumored final shower scene, if it was ever in the tape, was cut before the final release. Kris may have heard those rumors but she supposedly hasn’t watched the video. She should watch it. She owes a lot to Kim’s indiscretion and is responsible for instilling those values in her daughters that would make a sex tape seem like a business opportunity. Her family’s most redeeming quality is their shamelessness.

Photos are from 2/14 and 2/16. Credit: WENN.com

Radar online is reporting that there’s yet another Kendra Wilkinson sex tape, this one featuring her getting it on with another woman and filmed in night vision. Kendra’s last sex tape came out in early summer of last year. It was filmed before she met her husband, Hank Baskett. While Kendra tried to act as if she was upset about the tape being released, it couldn’t have come out with her sign off, she was working to sell it a year and a half prior, and she earned a half million advance plus a reported 50% of sales. Kendra Exposed is one of the top selling celebrity sex tapes of all time, and surely earned her a bundle.

Now there’s yet another Kendra sex tape coming, according to Radar. Only that doesn’t jibe with the “football mom with a wild streak” image that Kendra is trying to put out there. I foresee more tearful interviews in which she tries to squeeze out tears while hearing “ca-ching!” on a repeat in her mind.

A new sex tape featuring Kendra with a girlfriend is on its way to being sold publicly,RadarOnline.com has learned exclusively.
Less than a year after Kendra’s home-made sex tape with an ex boyfriend became an instant $ucce$$, the ex-Girl Next Door is starring with another girl in a tape shot approximately the same time at the first one.

“Kendra has sex in the video with Taryn Ryan,” a source close to the situation told RadarOnline.com exclusively. “They were friends and were hanging out together, with their boyfriends.

“It’s a long tape, about 45 minutes. And there is nothing left to the imagination.”

Ironically, the tape was shot by Justin Frye, Kendra’s ex boyfriend and partner in last year’s sex tape.

Justin shot hours of tapes of Kendra having sex and last year Vivid had a huge hit with the first release. Now the details are being worked out for the release of the new tape.

And although Kendra publicly assailed the release of the first sex tape, as RadarOnline.com exclusively reported she secretly signed off on the deal and received a hefty payday.

Now, she stands to profit again from her newfound status as a reality porn star.

“Kendra and Taryn started fooling around and then Kendra wanted the light turned off,” the source told RadarOnline.com. “But the camera that was recording them had night vision, so it looks like the Paris Hilton porn tape. Everything is completely clear.

“The girls are laughing at first, and the guys are encouraging them to kiss each other. They started kissing while giggling and then things got hotter.”

[From Radar]

I would have no problem with Kendra releasing a sex tape if she would just say “yeah, it’s really good money and I can’t pass it up.” Instead, she says things like “a sex tape is definitely not what I wanted in my life” and “I didn’t do it for money, I did it because I was in love with him [her co-star]. It just sucks. It’s really embarrassing.” If it’s so embarrassing and personally traumatizing then don’t sign on off on it, and/or hire a lawyer to fight it. (Athough that probably wouldn’t be necessary since Vivid is on the up and up and they wouldn’t release the tape without a participant’s sign off.) Otherwise don’t cry about it and make up a bunch of excuses. This ex boyfriend of Kendras has surely already convinced her to make another bundle of cash off their home movies. The girl-on-girl sex tape could have been part of the original deal with Vivid. They waited nearly a year since the last film and are now building up buzz for the next one.

Photos courtesy of WENN.

I am not posting those photos here, you can see them on TMZ

TMZ released photos yesterday from the Octomom spanking fetish video and I just couldn’t bring myself to cover it. The photos were more disturbing than mock-worthy, but the one positive takeaway was that Octomom was wearing a corset and wasn’t showing off her tummy tuck. Now TMZ has the video, which was shot inside the Octohome, and it’s just… awful. I think I speak for a lot of people when I say, “Holy Sh*t!” It’s just something you won’t be able to unsee, and it will haunt you. I’ve never watched that 2 girls one cup video or looked up goatse, and I wish I’d shown the same restraint with this video

It features a grown ass chubby tattooed man in a diaper whining and getting really whipped by mentally ill baby hoarder Nadya Suleman. She really wails on him with an actual bull whip and it looks almost as painful as having to watch. Then the fat guy, an LA-based radio DJ who goes by “tattoo” cuddles up with Octo on the couch while she feeds him a bottle. He then follows her up to her room to lay down for a nap.

I don’t know where to start with this one, but I’ll just say that it amuses me to no end that Octo was just featured on Oprah getting financial advice from Suze Orman and her next move is to release this fetish video through TMZ. I’m sure that’s not the kind of career move that Suze and Oprah would approve of. It’s also ripe that Octo calls herself Octomom when she just told Oprah she wanted to get rid of that nickname.

In case you were wondering where Octo’s 14 kids were, the nanny probably took them out. Fox News has some quotes from a source close to the big baby about how and why this all went down.

“Nadya’s situation is very serious, and Tattoo is really moved by it. But he’s making light and fun of this whole thing (with the photo shoot)–he’s not taking it that seriously.”

When asked if the controversial photo shoot may have a negative effect on Suleman’s small children, the pal explains, “Tattoo has children of his own. He and Nadya have had a relationship for years now. He would never do anything to hurt children. He’s a very cautious person. There were no children present when the photo shoot took place.”

As to whether this constitutes something that warrants investigation by Child Protective Services, ever-vigilant Fox News asked an official who pretty much said “no.” Their response was that “Allegations of abuse or neglect must rise to the legal level and descriptions of abuse or neglect… I think it’s important for people to know that laws allow for variations in parenting styles and that we don’t just go out willy-nilly and remove people’s children,.” Someone’s (legal) kinks don’t make them a bad parent, nor does starring in adult films. We don’t need any more evidence that Octomom is a shit mother, though. Just look at her situation. Four of her kids are missing in that first photo below.

Photos are from 11/10/10. Credit: WENN.com

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I really wanted to cover this interview with Colin Farrell and Jim Sturgess on British talkshow Chatty Man. I’ve never been a huge Colin Farrell fan, as I saw an interview with him in the DVD extras for In Bruges and he pretty much chain smoked the entire time. Yes that’s a very superficial reason not to like an otherwise gorgeous ruddy guy with a dreamy accent, and after watching this latest interview I think I’m willing to get over it. Lainey at Lainey Gossip found this gem, and as she points out Colin is in fine form, making sex jokes constantly and pretty much making us melt. These two were promoting The Way Back, based on the true story of soldiers who escaped from a Siberian prison camp in WWII. Strugess was cute but not that interesting to me. It was Colin who really stuck out, with his bawdy humor and the way he opened up about his stint in rehab. (Lainey says he’s always been candid about rehab, but it’s somewhat new to me.)

On what advice he would give to Jim Sturgess [7:10 in the video above]
I’m not the person… I could give you a list of rehabs which are the nice places to go.

The benefits of going to the rehab in the Caribbean as opposed to the more frigid northern reaches…

Take the sex tape with you
A way to… decent angle when you’re making a sex tape.
Here’s one… Jim is in a stable relationship with a beautiful woman, but if you find yourself making a sex tape, take the tape with you.

I wouldn’t be the man to be giving advice.

On rehab
Nice people, no lights, no cameras, you spend some time on a couch. It was lovely, I really thought it was lovely… it’s seldom that you find yourselves in an environment where there are a bunch of people who are trying to make their lives better, consciously… It was 20 of us, and it went in a rotation… it was really, really cool.

Initially I woke up going I didn’t even know where I was. Rehab – oh no! It’s like the ultimate cliche… Then you start to come out of the funk that got you in there and the world takes a bit of a different sheen and when you come out it’s terrifying… the noise and everything is in sharp focus. It was an interesting time.

[From Chatty Man interview, video above]

That was one of the nicest interviews I’ve seen in a long time. Farrell was naughty, but self deprecating, genuine and so open. The guy could blow smoke in my face all night and I’d sit there and take it. He could do a lot more to me too. (Again, I blame Kaiser for getting me to think this way. As if Farrell doesn’t do a good enough job of that on his own.)

Colin is shown on 12/8 and 12/13/10. Credit: WENN.com

According to Star Magazine, Camille Grammer, the stick insect villain on The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, is blackmailing her estranged husband, TV star and producer Kelsey Grammer, with some homemade sex tapes they made. Star claims that Camille told Kelsey she will release the footage if he doesn’t pay up in their divorce. These aren’t just vanilla sex tapes – allegedly. They’re said to have Kesley in “very compromising positions” that reveal his “twisted sexual appetite.” He’s always seemed like a kinky bastard to me. Star quotes a porn star ex of Kelsey’s who claims that he loves to have sex in drag. They also claim that the sex tapes with Camille contain footage of Kelsey getting spanked and talking in a baby voice.

Camille Grammer is considering releasing the wild sex tapes [she made with Kelsey] if he doesn’t pay her big bucks in their ongoing divorce.

And Kelsey seems to have a lot more to worry about than just the thought of everyone watching him romp in the buff! “Camille has quite a bit of footage of Kelsey in some very compromising positions,” a friend tells Star, “and if it gets out, it’ll be very clear just how twisted his sexual appetite is. Let’s just say that these tapes are real eye-openers!

“Camille likes to remind Kelsey all the time that she has dirt on him. And she’s so upset over him dumping her for young flight attendant Kayte Walsh last summer – plus the fact that they’ve already gotten engaged – that she’s been dropping plenty of hints she’s ready and willing to embarrass him if he doesn’t give her a huge alimony payment. The sex tapes are the perfect way!”

Nine years ago, porn star Tiffany Storm, who dated Kelsey, 55, in 1996, claimed in an interview that he loved to have sex while dressed as a woman, in pantyhose, a spandex G-string, full makeup and a long auburn wig. Apparently, he reaches new heights on the kinky scale in his videos with Camille, 42.

“She’s occasionally shown the tapes, which were shot on a camcorder after they married in 1997, to her pals on a lark,” the friend tells Star. “In one, Kelsey is all tied up and begs Camille to have sex with him. In another, she spanks him while he talks in a baby voice and calls her ‘Mommy!’…

“Camille fully intends on staying a very rich woman. She wants a ton of money in the settlement.

“If she doesn’t get what she wants from Kelsey, I think she’ll leak the sex tapes through a friend and then feign outrage. She’ll act like a victim – but she’ll be the one pulling the strings.”

[From Star Magazine, print edition, December 20, 2010]

Given what a narcissistic piece of work Camille is, I believe that she would hold these sex tapes over Kelsey’s head and wouldn’t hesitate to release them if he didn’t meet her demands. She loves attention, she shows off constantly, and I’m sure she thinks she looks hot while having sex and would love to have the footage made public. Plus she could probably earn a few million off them given her newfound fame and Kelsey’s name. (If his legal team doesn’t squash them.) If this is true, I foresee Kelsey paying up.

Also, what kind of other kinky sh*t do you think Kelsey is into? I have some things in mind that involve molded accessories. You’d have to get up to some weirdness to be able to get it up for that harpy Camille. This just makes her look like even more of a mean witch.

Cheating semi-famous guys better watch out. There are more ways than ever for mistresses to cash in and get famous. We’ve seen the tried and true method, extortion, play out in the wake of Tiger’s affair, but there are also tell-all interviews, stripping as “the mistress of” and of course selling sex tapes. Ashton Kutcher’s couch hook up, Brittney Jones, has sold a sex tape to porn giant Vivid (update: co-starring her ex boyfriend) using her status as Ashton’s mistress to sell copies. If she’d waited any longer we’d have forgotten. (Update: the tape in no way co-stars Ashton, I thought that was clear)

Vivid Entertainment has announced that it has acquired a sex tape starring 21-year-old brunette beauty Brittney Jones, famous for her alleged brief but passionate liaison with Hollywood actor Ashton Kutcher.

The studio has also posted R-rated photos from the tape on www.vivid.com.

It’s been widely reported that the two engaged in sex on a living room sofa in Kutcher’s Beverly Hills home after he met Brittney at a Hollywood’s Lucky Strike bowling alley. Kutcher and his wife Demi Moore are among the highest profile married couples in Hollywood.

Vivid has obtained never-before-released footage that shows Brittney engaged in very explicit, uninhibited sex with a former boyfriend. Ashton’s fans will undoubtedly enjoy seeing what the star himself may have experienced, in this exclusive video.

“We’ve acquired the tape and confirmed its authenticity. Brittney is obviously a beautiful young girl who could clearly seduce any man,” said Steven Hirsch, founder/co-chairman of the world’s leading adult film company. “We’ve consulted with our attorneys and feel comfortable that we will be able to distribute the tape.”

The tape, Brittney Jones Confidential, will be released on December 14th online at www.vivid.com and at stores across the country.

[From Vivid (NSFW link) received via e-mail]

We’ve heard that Brittney was “obsessed with Ashton for years” prior to running into him out at a bowling alley (when he was there with Demi, natch) and slipping him her phone number. You know, she looks a lot thinner in the very NSFW photos from the sex tape than she did when this news came out. I bet that’s what took her so long. She waited to lose weight before she made the sex tape and sold it. If she was a more consummate professional she would have timed the sale of her story to coincide with the sex tape. At least she looks more like Demi now.

Let this serve as a warning to cheating celebrities everywhere – the famewhores are the easiest pickings, and they’re also the most likely to cash in.