Poor Kristen Stewart! Girl didn’t get an Oscar nomination for On the Road. And now we all must weep sparkly tears for her! Ha, did anyone really think that she would or could get an Oscar nomination for On the Road, especially after the year she just had? NO. Chica couldn’t even wrangle a Golden Globe nomination, and they were handing those things out like candy. But don’t cry for K-Stew! She has her sparkly boyfriend, and according to Star Magazine/Hollywood Life, their sparkly sex life is totally amazing. The “sparkles” are from the light hitting the shiny handcuffs!!

Kristen Stewart wants to please Robert Pattinson! The Twilight stars are reportedly totally freaky now that they’re back together and they don’t hold back in the bedroom. A new report from Star claims that Rob and Kristen enjoy buying blindfolds, feathers and handcuffs to use in the bedroom.

Emotions were running high when Kristen cheated on Rob with Snow White and the Huntsman director Rupert Sanders. But now that these two have worked things out, Kristen is doing everything she can to “please” Rob, according to this new report.

The report claims they have having sex up to seven times a day.

“They have a very active sex life,” a source tells the magazine. “And like handcuffs, blindfolds, and feathers.” The source goes on to claim that they “regularly” buy dvd’s, costumes and props at The Pleasure Chest in West Hollywood.

We told you they were spotted holding hands on New Year’s Eve while dining at Mestizo restaurant. Also, they are reportedly looking for a place to live in London: “They decided to base themselves in Richmond, South-West London, so Rob can be close to his parents’ home in Barnes,” a source says. “Rob knows the area as he attended Tower House, a prep school near Richmond Park. So his dad Richard put him in touch with an estate agent who lined up appointments.”

[From Hollywood Life]

This is super-personal (although I swear it isn’t about me), but I have a story: I had a really good dude friend who lost his virginity when we were in college, and while he knew a lot of the technical stuff about sex, there were some gaps in his education, obviously, and the girl he was with didn’t help matters that much. My dude friend once confessed that they had sex 10 times in one night… and he said it like it was completely normal, like that’s what everyone does. I had to explain to him that no, 10 times in one night is not normal, and that his girlfriend might actually be kind of sore and over it. What I didn’t tell him is the NUMBER of times you do it is not actually the best way to judge the quality of the sex, you know? As for Sparkles and Kristen’s blindfolds and handcuffs, etc… well, whatever floats their sparkly boat. This story just seems like more 50 Shades fan-fiction though.

Photos courtesy of WENN.

Jesus. Deadline Hollywood is reporting that Avatar director James Cameron is set to make a $350 million (MILLION) payday off of the $2.7 billion success of the film. Can you believe that? Apparently, Cameron has some kind of sweetheart deal with the studio where he gets a percentage of the theatrical gross, plus an even bigger cut of the DVD sales. Considering Avatar did make $2.7 billion, Cameron’s payday is about 13% of the total gross. And how much did it cost to make and promote Avatar? A lot. Like $500 million or more. But that’s still more than a billion dollars of pure profit for the studio. So everybody wins!

I’m told this will be the biggest financial haul ever for a movie director from a single pic because James Cameron had a significant gross percentage of the Twentieth Century Fox megahit as helmer, writer, and producer. Though Hollywood pay experts tell me that the $350M all-in figure is largely attributable to his directing deal structured as “first dollar” gross or more likely “at cash break” gross. It’s certainly bigger than either he or the studio — or anyone — thought he’d make from Avatar which, after its December 2009 release date, has grossed a best-ever $2.7 billion worldwide at the box office.

“But Cameron is making $350 million because the DVD did beyond expectation,” an insider tells me. Indeed, its 2D DVD and Blu-Ray worldwide sales smashed records in all categories. And still to come is the release of its 3D DVD in November. Meanwhile, yesterday, Twentieth Century Fox and Cameron announced that a “Special Edition” Avatar will be released in theaters August 27th as a limited engagement and exclusively in Digital 3D and IMAX 3D. This version will include more than 8 minutes of new footage. “With Cameron making $350 million, can you imagine what Fox and Dune Entertainment and Ingenious Media are making?” one of my insiders wondered, referring to the three companies that together bankrolled Avatar. And let’s not forget there’ll be an Avatar sequel… and maybe a threequel as part of what Cameron has been calling a “trilogy-scaled arc of story”. And the production costs on the subsequent films should be far less because they’ve honed the 3D filmmaking technology process.

Forbes magazine about a week ago placed Cameron only #2 on its Celebrity 100 money ranking this year of the richest and most powerful actors, actresses, musicians and other well known showbiz figures. In fact, based on my insiders, Cameron should have been #1 because his $350M far exceeds the $315M which the magazine said top-ranked Oprah Winfrey earned. Forbes underestimated the director’s pay at only $210M.

My sources tell me that Cameron’s $350M take from Avatar also eclipses his reported $97M haul from the previous #1 biggest movie worldwide, Titanic. But that figure will go higher, too. Earlier this year, Cameron revealed that Titanic will be re-released in 3D in April 2012, in order to coincide with the 100th anniversary of the sinking of the actual ship. In total, Cameron’s directorial efforts have grossed approximately $5.75 billion worldwide.

It’s now the stuff of Hollywood legend that Cameron wrote the script for Avatar back in the mid-1990s when he and Stan Winston co-founded Digital Domain. He took the screenplay to their special effects lab only to be told it was just not possible to make the film with the current technology. So he sat on the project for more than a decade. To make Avatar, Cameron created the Fusion Camera System technology for photo-realistic computer-generated characters through motion capture animation. So the director has an ever brighter financial future because he now can sell that technology to 3D filmmakers all over the world. And he’ll get top dollar for it, to be sure.

[From Deadline]

You know what I was thinking about? How attractive James Cameron is right at this moment. He’s just lovely and sexy and not at all reminiscent of a middle-aged lesbian with bad hair. I wonder if his wife Suzy Amis is as turned on right now as I am? Do you think she decided to splurge and eat a cookie? If I was married to a man who just made $350 million, I would eat a cookie. A cookie made of diamonds and James Cameron’s wang.

Ooh, look at my lover. Tell me you don’t want to lick him.

James & Suzy on April 22 & 25, 2010. James on March 10, 2010. Credit: WENN.

Here are some new photos of Jack Nicholson (and Meryl Streep and Mike Nichols) at last night’s big AFI tribute for director Mike Nichols. I love Nichols – he’s done such classics as Carnal Knowledge, Working Girl (a favorite), Postcards From the Edge (sigh, I love that one too), The Graduate, and not-so-classic but still good/great films like Closer, Wit and Charlie Wilson’s War. Nichols is good friends with people like Emma Thompson, Jack, Meryl Streep and many, many others. So the turnout for his tribute was incredible. Look at Jack!

A few weeks ago, a publisher sent me a copy of Hollywood Hellraisers: the Wild Lives and Fast Times of Marlon Brando, Dennis Hopper, Warren Beatty and Jack Nicholsonby Robert Sellers. It was an extremely easy read, and if it’s your kind of thing, I would recommend it. The book had lots of details about all of those guys’ sex lives and there was a lot of interesting gossip from the 1970s that I was totally unfamiliar with. Like, both Warren and Jack pounced on Ali McGraw when she and Steve McQueen split up, even though Ali’s other ex Robert Evans warned both Jack and Warren that Ali was too vulnerable for their shenanigans. Another interesting story? Allegedly, Jack was all over Nicole Kidman right after her divorce from Tom Cruise. Like, Jack really, really wanted Nicole. I don’t know if that’s true, but it sounds truthy, doesn’t it?

Anyway, look at some of my favorite bitches. Emma is so f-cking gorgeous, even if the dress is a repeat Westwood from last year. And MERYL!!! Love, love, love. Julia Roberts’ dress sucks though.

This might be my favorite story of the day! In celebration of college… basketball? Right? Something involving sports and brackets and such, Esquire Magazine is doing a bracket-system battle royale for the “Sexiest Woman Alive”. One of the brackets is Megan Fox versus Dame Helen Mirren. You’d think with Esquire’s readership (men, dudes and douches) that Megan would be coming out ahead in a landslide, right? Not so much. It looks like some dudes with taste are actually voting online, and Helen Mirren is giving Megan a run for it. I just voted (at Esquire’s online poll here), and Mirren was sitting pretty at 61%. YES!

Esquire even put up this “interview” with Helen, and… I think I might be an idiot. Because I really can’t tell if this is a real interview or if someone at Esquire was making a funny. Can somebody help me out?

Near the halfway point of first-round play, top-seeded Megan Fox trails the streaking en fuego Helen Mirren, who’s clearly out to show that her automatic bid as the Big 60 conference champion was no fluke. The game is far from over for Fox. She made a last-minute push over the weekend (perhaps when voters went back to look at some of her old game footage, or just because she’s a fox) and has narrowed the gap to a slightly more manageable 39 percent to 61 percent. (She had been trailing by as much as forty percentage points.) Mirren, however, remains cautiously humble — and as poised as her championship team in 1980. We caught up with her briefly on her way to the locker room.

ESQUIRE: Were you surprised to be doing this well?
DAME HELEN MIRREN: I was surprised and flattered to be included at all. Personally I think Ms. Fox is one of the smartest, coolest, and sexiest creatures in the Western Hemisphere. I am gobsmacked.

ESQ: Are you upset that the selection committee only gave you a 16 seed?
HM: Well, I don’t quite know what that means, so I guess I don’t mind.

ESQ: Does veteran experience help in a tournament like this?
HM: Sometimes the veterans have a way of surprising you — think Brett Favre.

ESQ: If you win, do you have any words of consolation for your opponent?
HM: If I win — big if — I would say to Megan, “You actually still are one of the smartest, coolest, and sexiest creatures in the Western Hemisphere.”

ESQ: Do you think it’s your free-throw percentage that’s gotten you this far?
HM: It is more the fouls that I have gotten away with.

[From Esquire]

Is this fake? Did Helen really call Megan “one of the smartest, coolest, and sexiest creatures in the Western Hemisphere”? Is she did, that quote might be worse than all of Helen’s crap about women and rape. But I think it might be a fake interview. And I hate myself for not knowing.

Anyway, I’m thrilled that Mirren is beating out Megan in this or any battle. Helen’s got the better talent, the better attitude, the better boobs, and the better career. Plus, she’s just sexy as hell. Megan wishes. Vote early and vote often, people!

First Gerard Butler in handcuffs, and now a little Clive Owen first thing in the morning. Am I the luckiest gossip blogger ever or what? They are my top two guys, sometimes interchanged, but currently Clive ranks number one. CB and I were chatting about our “top two” yesterday – her top two are Johnny Depp and Matt Damon. While I can appreciate and respect those picks, I don’t understand how anyone can look at Clive and not see a burning hunk of Pure Man. Sigh…

Anyway, this is Clive at an event for Heineken. The beer company is “introducing the UEFA Champions League Soccer Trophy to the USA”. And Clive is some kind of big soccer/football dude. So manly. Yes, I have no idea what any of this about. But it’s Clive in a suit, damn it! Let me ogle him. It just occurred to me that Clive has the kind of George Hamilton perma-tan thing going on. Like he’s too good to be pale. I kind of dig it on Clive though. Because he is the sex.

Anyway, in other Clive news, he’s just signed on to costar with Jason Statham in a film called The Killer Elite. According to Screen Rant, it’s “based on Ranulph Fiennes’ novel ‘The Feathermen,’ and follows ‘a group of former British special forces members who are being hunted by assassins. Statham will play a former Navy Seal who is forced out of retirement to save his closest friend.’” Clive and Jason will presumably be playing friends, maybe. Whatever. I hope he wears a suit and carries a gun. Mm…

Clive in Hollywood on March 16, 2010. Credit: FayesVision/WENN.

Oh my God, this story made my life. In most of the post-Oscar wrap-up, I avoided talking about Gaby Sidibe, just because when Oprah got up to talk about Gaby’s performance in Precious, and Gaby started crying, my heart went out to this girl. I can’t even imagine how overwhelming all of this must be for her, and I didn’t want to the standard dissection of her dress and attitude and stuff from Oscar night, like I would have if she were older and more of an old Hollywood hand. But it looks like Gaby didn’t need my protection, because she’s doing just fine on her own! Apparently, when she was doing a red carpet interview with Billy Bush, she caught sight of Gerard Butler and she told Billy, “I’d hit that.” That’s my girl! What happened after that is so f-cking epic and wonderful, it just makes my day:

Gabourey Sidibe met Gerard Butler for the first time on Saturday night and things didn’t go exactly as she wanted.

“I bumped into him yesterday. I feel like I stepped on his foot,” she said.

But on Sunday, while being interview by Access Hollywood’s Billy Bush on the Oscars red carpet, her second meeting with Gerard became forever memorable.

“He’s kinda sexy,” Gabourey told Billy, as she saw Gerard again, standing to her left, just out of earshot. “I’d hit that.”

And as Gerard leaned in to shake her hand, Billy asked Gabby if he really heard her correctly.

“I kinda said, ‘I’d hit that.’ I’m not ashamed,” she said as Gerard heard her words for the first time, reacting with a shock of delight. “I’d hit that. I’m sorry.”

“I’m here, I’m available,” Gerard said after he composed himself from the proposition from the Best Actress nominee. “Let’s go!”’

“Let’s grab a bottle of champagne and see where the night goes,” Gabourey replied.

You go girl!

[From Access Hollywood]

Oh my God, Gaby is my sister, for real. Because that is exactly how I would have propositioned Gerard too (in my dreams)! I would have gotten within earshot, and then said to whoever was around, “I would rip that man apart. With. My. Vadge.” And how much do I love Gerard for being such a great sport? You know what? He probably would hit that right back. I wholeheartedly approve of this love match! Wouldn’t that just be the most beautiful thing in the world, if Gerard showed up to The Bounty Hunter premiere with his new girlfriend Gaby Sidibe? I would just die of happiness.

I was glancing through the photos this morning, and I noticed something lovely. Some of the hottest guys of Hollywood have come out to play for many of the pre-Oscar bashes in Los Angeles. So even though we don’t really have anything to report on these guys, I still thought we’d all enjoy looking at pretty photos of some of the dudes that we don’t always get to look at. Eli Roth (above) has been all over the place this awards season, but I rarely write about him. He’s one of my top crushes these days, just because I like what a naughty “basterd” he is. Sigh… I love him.

Here’s Jeremy Renner with his mom! She’s going to be his date for the Oscars, and I guess she gets to have some of the pre-party fun too. His mom is really cute! She must be so proud of him. I like how he’s trying to do the squinty/smoldering pose while standing next to his mom.

Well, hello, Aaron Eckhart, you sexy bearded bastard. Mm… he looks good enough to eat.

Have I ever mentioned that I find Jason Statham attractive? You know I like arrogance in a man, and he wears it well. I appreciate when a guy is going bald and he just shaves everything off. And his body is fantastic. Sidenote: that’s the back of Oliver Stone’s head.

Olivier Martinez! He looks really good too. I wish we saw more of his rat face, I enjoy it. He was there with his girlfriend Elsa Pataki (the one who was dating Adrien Brody, and he bought her a castle, and she left him for Olivier).

Some women find Ashton Kutcher hot. I’m not one of them, but I’m crushing on Demi’s beautiful dress.

Never really gotten the Matt Dillon thing. Unless we’re talking about Wild Things. But even then, it wasn’t really about Matt Dillon.

I saw James Marsden in that dumb 27 Dresses movie, and I kind of liked him. It was a dumb movie full of dumb characters, but he was the best part. He’s got gorgeous eyes.

Dave Annabel is one of my quiet crushes. He isn’t up to “imaginary boyfriend” status, but he just seems like such a sweetheart. He just got engaged too. He seems like the kind of guy who just wants to settle down and have a home. Nice to see those dudes still exist.

Adrien Brody! He looks good. Perhaps he’s still a little heartbroken over Elsa. He looks depressed, doesn’t he? Sigh… I could cheer him up.

Various men at various pre-Oscar parties, like the Hollywood Reporter’s party at the LA Mayor’s mansion and the Hollywood Domino Gala, both on March 4, 2010 Credit: WENN.

This question is directed at all the ladies out there: have you ever been so completely attracted to a man that you can’t even concentrate on something truly terrible and heart-wrenching, just because you’re too busy fantasizing about what the guy looks like naked? I find myself in that position as I watch this PSA Daniel Craig recorded on behalf of Artists for Peace and Justice, an organization that is currently organizing money and personnel for Haitian relief. It’s all very important and tragic and sad and overwhelming, but hearing Daniel describe, with that incredible, sexy, slightly raspy, panty-dropper voice of his, I can barely focus.

That being said, Daniel doesn’t look all that great in the PSA. The lighting is kind of meh, and Daniel could use a hot bath and a shave. Which gets me thinking about him naked again. Daniel tells us about Artists for Peace and Justice, saying: “This wonderful organization, which has been operating for over two years in Haiti, has suddenly become much more important because, obviously, of the events of the past few weeks.” The website for Artists for Peace and Justice is here, and the site has even more videos up – including two more panty-droppers, Simon Baker and Javier Bardem. Jesus, do they want us to donate money or take off our drawers?!? I can’t tell!

Screencaps courtesy of Artists for Peace and Justice.

Rest in peace, Sexy Beard. Jon Hamm decided to shave his awesome, lickable, sexy, amazing, hot beard. BOO! The Hamm has been rocking the Hotness Beard for about a month, which he attributed to as being unemployed and not caring. Not caring was never sexier, that’s all I have to say. Above is The Hamm’s newly clean-shaven face in this week’s Saturday Night Live promotional videos. He’s going to be the host this week, which I will try to stay up for. Mmm… and now I totally want The Hamm to scream “It’s not Bubble!” at me. While I lick him. Weird sexual fantasies, right?

So much for Jon Hamm’s new look.

Just when Mad Men fans were getting used to seeing Don Draper with a beard, the actor shaved it off!

Hamm — who said he’d been “utterly lazy” about staying clean-shaven while on hiatus from the hit AMC show — was last photographed with scruff on Saturday but looked fresh-faced in new promos for his upcoming Saturday Night Live hosting gig.

Still, there’s one person who may be upset Hamm, 38, is now going without whiskers.

When asked how the beard affected his longtime love Jennifer Westfeldt, he said, “Amazingly!”

[From Us Weekly]

In other news about The Hamm, he was at the Sundance Film Festival promoting his role in Howl, where he plays the lawyer defending Allen Ginsberg’s seminal piece of poetry on First Amendment grounds. James Franco plays the young Ginsberg, and both Hamm and Franco are getting great early reviews. Here’s a preview of the film, and here’s a charming interview with Hamm where he’s been asked to name some of the people he thinks are groundbreaking iconoclasts today. The Hamm names Lady Gaga! He’s so fabulous.

And just because, let’s review The Hamm: The Bearded Weeks:

One of my favorite British dudes is talking about one of my other favorite British dudes! And it’s all so charming. Or is it just the accent? We’ll never know. Anyhoodle, Hugh Grant is still doing endless promotion for that turd of a film, Did You Hear About the Morgans? Which, by the way, Sarah Jessica Parker has been largely absent from, so poor Hugh, right? I keep seeing photos of Hugh as he fulfills what must be three months worth of worldwide promotion, but I haven’t been seeing any of his charming interviews. Perhaps Hugh hasn’t been saying anything of note? Well, he rectified that! Hugh name-dropped Robert Pattinson, and voila, headlines! Hugh thinks Robert Pattinson is “sexy”! Hugh just got on the good side of every Twihard on the globe.

AS WELL as his hoards of screaming teenage fans and their mums, Twilight star Robert Pattinson also has a fan in Hugh Grant.

British A-list actor Hugh Grant reckons heartthrob Robert Pattinson is “sexy” and can totally see why women of all ages fawn over him.

Hugh said: “I haven’t watched the second part yet of Twilight yet, but I understand the fascination with Robert. I think he’s really sexy!”

The 49-year-old also revealed how he thought he looked sexy when he wore a cowboy hat in his latest movie Did You Hear About The Morgans? – until he saw himself on screen.

He said: “I thought I looked pretty sexy with the Stetson hat. At least I was hoping I would. But after watching the film I have to admit I looked quite daft. But you have to know that I always tell the costume designers to make me look as attractive as possible.”

Hugh has previously threatened to quit acting but now he has just decided to see what projects come his way.

He told Germany’s OK! magazine: “I realized that I’m going to make a fool of myself if I keep talking about it. So from now on I’m going to shut up about it.”

[From OK! Magazine UK]

Hugh’s so lovely, in my opinion. I love his little asides, I love his opinions and his self-deprecating humor. The world needs more Hugh! Moving on… Sparkles! My mother and I had never discussed Sparkles before, and somehow he came up in conversation over the weekend, and I mentioned that I found Pattinson to be very beautiful, almost girlishly pretty. My mother was not impressed. But she doesn’t understand!

Now, I can’t find Hugh’s name on any of the lists of people who have signed up for Clooney’s Haiti telethon, but Sparkles has been confirmed! According to most sources, Pattinson will be doing a little speech or something via satellite from London, and Jay-Z and Bono will be performing on his end. Which is really cool! Ah, if only Hugh had signed on!

Hugh Grant being interviewed on a French television show, in Paris on January 13, 2010. Pattinson in LA on November 16, 2009. Credit: WENN.