I’ve mentioned my love for Tom Hardy before. I first noticed him in Band of Brothers (my favorite miniseries of all time), but I only recognized him as The Sex when I saw his lovely, funny, charming, naughty performance in RockNRolla, in which he stole most scenes away from Gerard Butler (by the way, Idris Elba is in that too, and his scenes with Hardy and Butler… Jesus, that film has man-candy!). Hardy is getting more press now that he’s been in Inception – he stole several scenes from Leonardo DiCaprio, and he’s gained some weight, and well… the man is just hot.

Anyway, much like the character Hardy played in RockNRolla, the real-life Hardy doesn’t mind a little man-on-man action. He admitted as much when he discussed his sexuality with The Daily Mail. Just keep this in mind, whenever Hardy talks about man-on-man, I’m picturing him with Gerard Butler:

Hollywood heart-throb Tom Hardy has revealed he had a string of gay flings as a teenager. The 32-year-old Inception star, who is engaged to British actress Charlotte Riley, 28, and also has a two-year-old son with a former girlfriend

But asked if he’d ever had any sexual relations with other men, the broody actor said: ‘As a boy? Of course I have. I’m an actor for ****’s sake. I’ve played with everything and everyone. I love the form and the physicality, but now that I’m in my thirties, it doesn’t do it for me. I’m done experimenting but there’s plenty of stuff in a relationship with another man, especially gay men, that I need in my life. A lot of gay men get my thing for shoes. I have definite feminine qualities and a lot of gay men are incredibly masculine.’

London-born Tom found big-screen fame with Star Trek Nemesis, and in the 2009 hit Bronson, where he played the notoriously violent criminal Charles Bronson to critical acclaim.

In Guy Ritchie’s hit Rock’n'Rolla he starred as gay gangster Handsome Bob, and had a crush on Scottish hearthrob Gerard Butler. He then starred as Heathcliffe in a BBC remake of Emily Bronte’s Wuthering Heights, where he met stunning fiancée Charlotte.

In an interview with Now magazine, the former party-boy who has battled drink, drugs and crime to turn his life around, added: ‘A lot of people say I seem masculine, but I don’t feel it.

‘I feel intrinsically feminine. I’d love to be one of the boys but I always felt a bit on the outside. Maybe my masculine qualities come from overcompensating because I’m not one of the boys.’

[From The Daily Mail]

Um… swoon? If he was American, I might be calling him a closet-case, but I’m giving him some leeway because he’s British. You know, the accent, the school systems… well, I just think more British boys have had gay experiences in general, and are perhaps more open to bisexuality and homosexuality. That’s my bias talking, by the way, but I don’t consider it a bad thing. Nothing could be further than the truth – I find Hardy’s honesty and sort-of naughty homoeroticism terribly sexy. I’m swooning even harder, if possible.

Jesus, this man’s lips. They’re so kissable. Mm…

Hardy in Paris on July 10, 2010, and in LA in September 2009. Credit: WENN.

Two weeks ago, I introduced this concept of “Hot Guy Friday” – just a post devoted to new or newish photos of various hot men from the week. I didn’t follow up on it last week, and for that I apologize. But since today is kind of slow, why not revisit it? There are a ton of photos coming in from Comic-Con, and a lot of hot men showed up to promote their shizz. Since humor is oh-so-sexy, let’s start off with my lover Will Ferrell, dressed up as “Megamind” from the cartoon he did voice work for. I can’t even look at these photos without chuckling. I bet Will was so into it, he even painted his wang blue. Anything for comedy.

Is it just me, or is Aaron Eckhart’s chin dimple growing in size? He’s still sexy, though. His face just looks a little cartoony.

My mom wants to wrap Matt Bomer up in bacon and devour him, she loves this kid so much. He’s a Southern boy, and she loves that. I find him excessively pretty, but still very pleasurable to look at:

I realize we’re all over Eli Roth, if we were ever into him (I was, for a moment). Here he is with Peaches Geldof today at Comic-Con. WHY?!?

Jeff Bridges is still The Man, even if these photos of him at Comic-Con aren’t that great. Did you know that he’s in TRON: Legacy? Yeah. Come on, Jeff! But at least he shaved.

Is it wrong to admit that Bruce Willis still kind of does it for me? He needs to make another really good movie. Something sexy.

Aw… here’s Liev Schreiber looking hunky with his two ultra-blonde boys. Cute.

I always forget that Matthew Settle was in Band of Brothers – and he was wonderful in it. Now he’s an old dude on Gossip Girl. What the hell? I love this photo, though. It’s very 1970s, very evocative.

“Xenu in the garden.”

Zackary Quinto pings on everybody’s gaydar, right? But still, he’s kind of gay-nerd-hot.

Paul Rudd’s Jesus look. It kind of works!

Simon Baker does it for me, even though his hair was f-cked at this event.

Timberlake isn’t my taste at all, but there were a million photos of him this week as he filmed in New York with Mila Kunis. Here’s one of the few photos that didn’t make him look like an enormous tool:

Seth Rogen doesn’t look terrible. He’s actually pretty cute, in an accessible kind of way.

Does Zac Efron send any cougar tingles to any ladies? I think he’s a cute boy, but he needs to get a handle on the hair. He just looks dumb with it like that.

And because no hot-guy list would be complete, Jeremy Piven. He just turned 45 years old! And still with the hairline of a 32 year old! How does he make that happen? Honestly, though, he looks kind of cute here.

One more (since I don’t want to end it on The Piv): Brad Pitt. Always a classic.

header: Will Ferrell on July 22, 2010. Credit: WENN.

You know why I’m disappointed? Because W Magazine c-ckblocked me into thinking there would lovely photos of Jon Hamm that I could drool over. Of course, there is a pictorial, and of course, The Hamm is gorgeous. But I would have enjoyed this whole thing a lot more if this slut Rebecca Hall wasn’t all over My Hamm. Anyway, The Hamm and Rebecca Hall (Hamm ‘n Hall, to friends) – together to jointly promote their roles in The Town, the Boston-based action/drama/thriller directed by Ben Affleck. W Mag sums up the story: “The paths of Rebecca Hall and Jon Hamm converge in the September film The Town, a morally complex cops-and-robbers drama set in director Ben Affleck’s hometown of Boston. Hall plays a bank manager who is traumatized by seeing a colleague brutally beaten by a masked thief. When she meets a handsome man, played by Affleck, who offers her comfort, protection and romance, she has no way of knowing that he was the violent offender’s accomplice. Hamm is less charmed: He plays the man in blue, hot on Affleck’s trail.” Did that just turn you on? I’m turned on. Just thinking about The Hamm on someone’s “trail” is enough for me.

The full W Magazine interview is here. Here are some of the highlights (FYI: all of my highlights are Hamm-related):

W: Did you both have to audition for The Town?
Jon Hamm: I was on a list of people that the studio was considering. They go down the list, basically.
Rebecca Hall: I don’t think I was on a list. I auditioned. My agent flew me to New York because I couldn’t afford to pay the airfare, and then if I got it, I’d pay her back. I met Ben in some hotel room and we chatted for about two hours. I didn’t hear anything for about three months, and then I got the call.

Hamm: Do you know who else they asked to do it?
Hall: No. Do you?
Hamm: Maybe.
Hall: Spill the beans. Jessica Simpson?
Hamm: I was going to say Lindsay Lohan, but that’s not really funny anymore. It’s sort of sad.

Hamm: I play law enforcement, basically. I play the cop to Ben’s robber, but it’s not just black versus white. Ben is playing the lovable rogue. My character still thinks he’s a piece of s— because he’s a horrible criminal. That was fun—to be the counterpoint to Ben’s charming rogue.
Hall: The film is old-fashioned—proper Hollywood. There are thrills and there’s violence and there’s action and there’s a significant romance.
Hamm: It’s an adult movie. Those are in short supply. I hope that there’s still an audience for that kind of film, where you can go see adults behaving like adults.

W: And it deals with adult themes.
Hall: It’s an age-old tragedy setup. Can you do bad and get away with it, or does it always come back to bite you in the ass?
Hamm: No one is 100 percent good and no one is 100 percent bad. What’s interesting is that many bank robbers don’t think they’re doing anything bad, because the money is insured. They don’t consider themselves criminals.

W: What was Ben like off-set?
Hall: He’s kind of what you expect: He’s incredibly smart; he’s good fun. It’s got to be odd being that famous, especially in Boston, where he can’t walk a block without having to put his hood up. He is Mr. Boston.
Hamm: I mean, the guy is a patron saint of that city. [When you’re] walking around with him, everybody of every walk of life is like, “Hey, Ben!”

W: When did you both realize you wanted to perform?
Hall: I can’t remember a time when I didn’t want to be an actor. It has just always been an inevitability on some level.
Hamm: I played Winnie-the-Pooh in first grade. I was an early adopter of standing up in front of people and looking like an idiot. In high school I was a middle linebacker and I played Judas in Godspell.

W: After you joined the William Morris Agency, you didn’t work for three years.
Hamm: I went up for everything. I’d get down to the end on big movies and then I’d flame out, which is devastating. It just sucks, especially when it’s fraught with, “Oh, then I can pay my bills.” I would get so in my head that I would f— up the auditions.

W: How long were you willing to stick it out?
Hamm: I had given myself five years to be self-sufficient as an actor. I was already self-sufficient as a waiter. But I knew a lot of 40-year-old waiters and I didn’t want to be one of those. I had taught school and I knew that I could always go back to teaching. I gave myself to my 30th birthday, and my 30th birthday actually happened on the set of We Were Soldiers, which was my first big Hollywood movie—a Mel Gibson vehicle. I was making enough money to quit my waiting job.

W: Is there value to trudging the long road as opposed to getting a fast track?
Hamm: I guess the benefits of my trajectory were learning humility, learning to be patient and learning how the system works in some way. But I think the benefits of Rebecca’s path are that you get to spend some great years doing some pretty cool s—. Your 20s are fun. If you can manage to also do good work, which Rebecca clearly has, then you’re very lucky.

W: Rebecca, would you label Jon a man’s man or a ladies’ man?
Hall: I don’t know. He’s proper manly, like Gregory Peck, old-school. He hangs around with the boys and does sports. But can he talk to women about emotions and shoes?
Hamm: Absolutely. Can and do. I was raised by a single mother. I think the definition of a man’s man has shifted in recent times to this sort of fratty bro, different from the older version, which was aloof and distant—Gary Cooper or Cary Grant or James Bond. Now it’s a little vulgar, kind of lowbrow, adolescent. I’m not that guy. Part of being an adult is treating women like women.
Hall: The grand pendulum has swung backwards a little bit. Women are allowing themselves to be objectified as “empowerment.” I suppose to some degree you have to go through that phase of, like, “Look, I can make myself a sexualized object.” Still, I just hope that it’s okay for women to read and be bright and talk about interesting things and be sexy.
Hamm: To be able to read and talk about complicated things is sexy. It’s not just having a pair of bolt-on tits.

W: Jon, the old rule is if a man wants to flatter, he tells a beautiful woman she’s smart and a smart woman she’s beautiful. What does one say to Rebecca?
Hamm: That she’s very funny.

W: Rebecca, in stories earlier this year about the breakup of Sam Mendes and Kate Winslet—
Hall: Oh, you’re going to do that, are you?
W: —your name was mentioned in a way that implicated you in the breakup of their marriage. Is there any accuracy to that perception?
Hall: No.
Hamm: The reality is that I broke them up.
Hall: Jon Hamm was sleeping with Sam Mendes.
W: Wow. Does a sex tape exist?
Hamm: Does it? He directed it. It’s beautiful.

[From W Magazine]

Okay, so I included Rebecca’s denial of being involved in Kate Winslet’s divorce just because I thought it was interesting. Do you see how The Hamm came to her rescue with a joke? That’s a gentlemen, ladies. While I don’t really think anything of her, The Hamm is so lovely, it hurts. Also – the part where he’s talking about what he finds sexy in a woman? Jesus, this man turns me on. I need to take a “break” and smoke a cigarette.

Photos courtesy of W Magazine.

This really should be a regular feature, shouldn’t it? And then we can have hot guy Mondays, Tuesdays, etc. Now, just so you know – most of the men I’m including on my “Hot Guy Friday” list are just relatively hot dudes where we have new photos. Like Ed Norton, above, at the UN yesterday. Now, I love Ed. I know he’s supposed to be a total prick, but he still does it for me. I love when he looks intense.

Holy f-ckballs! Gerard Butler has been seen! Here are mysterious photos of Gerard looking angry enough to f-ck the hell out of me. In Michigan. Michigan? He’s about to start filming Machine Gun Preacher:

Here is Ewan McGregor at a Hugo Boss event in Germany yesterday. He looks delicious and lovely, as always. Love his naughty face.

I know Russell Brand isn’t everyone’s cup of tea, but whenever you wonder how Russell gets the ladies, just think of how he would make you laugh. Especially if he showed up like this, in his costume from the Arthur remake:

Here are some recent photos of Ben Affleck & Matt Damon, for CB’s enjoyment:

Yes, Dev Patel has big ears and he looks like he’s about 12 years old. But I find him adorable! Here is Dev at the Paris photocall of surprise hit The Last Airbender:

Ed Westwick and his fur have been in Paris this week, shooting Gossip Girl. I’m too lazy to get those photos, but enjoy these of Ed from last week – mmm, fur:

I’ve thought Tom Hardy was The Sex since I saw his truly awesome performance in RockNRolla. American audiences might also know him from Band of Brothers, and now he has a supporting part in Inception. Honestly, he looks better when his hair is a bit shaggy.

And a little Vincent Cassel, just because I was thinking about his sexy French ass today.

I’m not sure what “The Darker Side of Green” event was about, but Andy Samberg (hot-ish) and Ashton Kutcher were there. Ashton I could take or leave, but he looks okay in these photos:

Oh, f-ck, The Piv was there too. Must. Not. Include. Piven. Too late!

Ugh, Adrien Brody’s douche face was there too:

Do you girls like Sting? He was at a screening yesterday:

I’m going to end it on the best note I know. Clive Owen, at the Eclipse premiere last week. FOR REAL. Clive went to the Eclipse premiere! UGH. He probably took his daughters, you know?

Jesus. Deadline Hollywood is reporting that Avatar director James Cameron is set to make a $350 million (MILLION) payday off of the $2.7 billion success of the film. Can you believe that? Apparently, Cameron has some kind of sweetheart deal with the studio where he gets a percentage of the theatrical gross, plus an even bigger cut of the DVD sales. Considering Avatar did make $2.7 billion, Cameron’s payday is about 13% of the total gross. And how much did it cost to make and promote Avatar? A lot. Like $500 million or more. But that’s still more than a billion dollars of pure profit for the studio. So everybody wins!

I’m told this will be the biggest financial haul ever for a movie director from a single pic because James Cameron had a significant gross percentage of the Twentieth Century Fox megahit as helmer, writer, and producer. Though Hollywood pay experts tell me that the $350M all-in figure is largely attributable to his directing deal structured as “first dollar” gross or more likely “at cash break” gross. It’s certainly bigger than either he or the studio — or anyone — thought he’d make from Avatar which, after its December 2009 release date, has grossed a best-ever $2.7 billion worldwide at the box office.

“But Cameron is making $350 million because the DVD did beyond expectation,” an insider tells me. Indeed, its 2D DVD and Blu-Ray worldwide sales smashed records in all categories. And still to come is the release of its 3D DVD in November. Meanwhile, yesterday, Twentieth Century Fox and Cameron announced that a “Special Edition” Avatar will be released in theaters August 27th as a limited engagement and exclusively in Digital 3D and IMAX 3D. This version will include more than 8 minutes of new footage. “With Cameron making $350 million, can you imagine what Fox and Dune Entertainment and Ingenious Media are making?” one of my insiders wondered, referring to the three companies that together bankrolled Avatar. And let’s not forget there’ll be an Avatar sequel… and maybe a threequel as part of what Cameron has been calling a “trilogy-scaled arc of story”. And the production costs on the subsequent films should be far less because they’ve honed the 3D filmmaking technology process.

Forbes magazine about a week ago placed Cameron only #2 on its Celebrity 100 money ranking this year of the richest and most powerful actors, actresses, musicians and other well known showbiz figures. In fact, based on my insiders, Cameron should have been #1 because his $350M far exceeds the $315M which the magazine said top-ranked Oprah Winfrey earned. Forbes underestimated the director’s pay at only $210M.

My sources tell me that Cameron’s $350M take from Avatar also eclipses his reported $97M haul from the previous #1 biggest movie worldwide, Titanic. But that figure will go higher, too. Earlier this year, Cameron revealed that Titanic will be re-released in 3D in April 2012, in order to coincide with the 100th anniversary of the sinking of the actual ship. In total, Cameron’s directorial efforts have grossed approximately $5.75 billion worldwide.

It’s now the stuff of Hollywood legend that Cameron wrote the script for Avatar back in the mid-1990s when he and Stan Winston co-founded Digital Domain. He took the screenplay to their special effects lab only to be told it was just not possible to make the film with the current technology. So he sat on the project for more than a decade. To make Avatar, Cameron created the Fusion Camera System technology for photo-realistic computer-generated characters through motion capture animation. So the director has an ever brighter financial future because he now can sell that technology to 3D filmmakers all over the world. And he’ll get top dollar for it, to be sure.

[From Deadline]

You know what I was thinking about? How attractive James Cameron is right at this moment. He’s just lovely and sexy and not at all reminiscent of a middle-aged lesbian with bad hair. I wonder if his wife Suzy Amis is as turned on right now as I am? Do you think she decided to splurge and eat a cookie? If I was married to a man who just made $350 million, I would eat a cookie. A cookie made of diamonds and James Cameron’s wang.

Ooh, look at my lover. Tell me you don’t want to lick him.

James & Suzy on April 22 & 25, 2010. James on March 10, 2010. Credit: WENN.

Here are some new photos of Jack Nicholson (and Meryl Streep and Mike Nichols) at last night’s big AFI tribute for director Mike Nichols. I love Nichols – he’s done such classics as Carnal Knowledge, Working Girl (a favorite), Postcards From the Edge (sigh, I love that one too), The Graduate, and not-so-classic but still good/great films like Closer, Wit and Charlie Wilson’s War. Nichols is good friends with people like Emma Thompson, Jack, Meryl Streep and many, many others. So the turnout for his tribute was incredible. Look at Jack!

A few weeks ago, a publisher sent me a copy of Hollywood Hellraisers: the Wild Lives and Fast Times of Marlon Brando, Dennis Hopper, Warren Beatty and Jack Nicholsonby Robert Sellers. It was an extremely easy read, and if it’s your kind of thing, I would recommend it. The book had lots of details about all of those guys’ sex lives and there was a lot of interesting gossip from the 1970s that I was totally unfamiliar with. Like, both Warren and Jack pounced on Ali McGraw when she and Steve McQueen split up, even though Ali’s other ex Robert Evans warned both Jack and Warren that Ali was too vulnerable for their shenanigans. Another interesting story? Allegedly, Jack was all over Nicole Kidman right after her divorce from Tom Cruise. Like, Jack really, really wanted Nicole. I don’t know if that’s true, but it sounds truthy, doesn’t it?

Anyway, look at some of my favorite bitches. Emma is so f-cking gorgeous, even if the dress is a repeat Westwood from last year. And MERYL!!! Love, love, love. Julia Roberts’ dress sucks though.

This might be my favorite story of the day! In celebration of college… basketball? Right? Something involving sports and brackets and such, Esquire Magazine is doing a bracket-system battle royale for the “Sexiest Woman Alive”. One of the brackets is Megan Fox versus Dame Helen Mirren. You’d think with Esquire’s readership (men, dudes and douches) that Megan would be coming out ahead in a landslide, right? Not so much. It looks like some dudes with taste are actually voting online, and Helen Mirren is giving Megan a run for it. I just voted (at Esquire’s online poll here), and Mirren was sitting pretty at 61%. YES!

Esquire even put up this “interview” with Helen, and… I think I might be an idiot. Because I really can’t tell if this is a real interview or if someone at Esquire was making a funny. Can somebody help me out?

Near the halfway point of first-round play, top-seeded Megan Fox trails the streaking en fuego Helen Mirren, who’s clearly out to show that her automatic bid as the Big 60 conference champion was no fluke. The game is far from over for Fox. She made a last-minute push over the weekend (perhaps when voters went back to look at some of her old game footage, or just because she’s a fox) and has narrowed the gap to a slightly more manageable 39 percent to 61 percent. (She had been trailing by as much as forty percentage points.) Mirren, however, remains cautiously humble — and as poised as her championship team in 1980. We caught up with her briefly on her way to the locker room.

ESQUIRE: Were you surprised to be doing this well?
DAME HELEN MIRREN: I was surprised and flattered to be included at all. Personally I think Ms. Fox is one of the smartest, coolest, and sexiest creatures in the Western Hemisphere. I am gobsmacked.

ESQ: Are you upset that the selection committee only gave you a 16 seed?
HM: Well, I don’t quite know what that means, so I guess I don’t mind.

ESQ: Does veteran experience help in a tournament like this?
HM: Sometimes the veterans have a way of surprising you — think Brett Favre.

ESQ: If you win, do you have any words of consolation for your opponent?
HM: If I win — big if — I would say to Megan, “You actually still are one of the smartest, coolest, and sexiest creatures in the Western Hemisphere.”

ESQ: Do you think it’s your free-throw percentage that’s gotten you this far?
HM: It is more the fouls that I have gotten away with.

[From Esquire]

Is this fake? Did Helen really call Megan “one of the smartest, coolest, and sexiest creatures in the Western Hemisphere”? Is she did, that quote might be worse than all of Helen’s crap about women and rape. But I think it might be a fake interview. And I hate myself for not knowing.

Anyway, I’m thrilled that Mirren is beating out Megan in this or any battle. Helen’s got the better talent, the better attitude, the better boobs, and the better career. Plus, she’s just sexy as hell. Megan wishes. Vote early and vote often, people!

First Gerard Butler in handcuffs, and now a little Clive Owen first thing in the morning. Am I the luckiest gossip blogger ever or what? They are my top two guys, sometimes interchanged, but currently Clive ranks number one. CB and I were chatting about our “top two” yesterday – her top two are Johnny Depp and Matt Damon. While I can appreciate and respect those picks, I don’t understand how anyone can look at Clive and not see a burning hunk of Pure Man. Sigh…

Anyway, this is Clive at an event for Heineken. The beer company is “introducing the UEFA Champions League Soccer Trophy to the USA”. And Clive is some kind of big soccer/football dude. So manly. Yes, I have no idea what any of this about. But it’s Clive in a suit, damn it! Let me ogle him. It just occurred to me that Clive has the kind of George Hamilton perma-tan thing going on. Like he’s too good to be pale. I kind of dig it on Clive though. Because he is the sex.

Anyway, in other Clive news, he’s just signed on to costar with Jason Statham in a film called The Killer Elite. According to Screen Rant, it’s “based on Ranulph Fiennes’ novel ‘The Feathermen,’ and follows ‘a group of former British special forces members who are being hunted by assassins. Statham will play a former Navy Seal who is forced out of retirement to save his closest friend.’” Clive and Jason will presumably be playing friends, maybe. Whatever. I hope he wears a suit and carries a gun. Mm…

Clive in Hollywood on March 16, 2010. Credit: FayesVision/WENN.

Oh my God, this story made my life. In most of the post-Oscar wrap-up, I avoided talking about Gaby Sidibe, just because when Oprah got up to talk about Gaby’s performance in Precious, and Gaby started crying, my heart went out to this girl. I can’t even imagine how overwhelming all of this must be for her, and I didn’t want to the standard dissection of her dress and attitude and stuff from Oscar night, like I would have if she were older and more of an old Hollywood hand. But it looks like Gaby didn’t need my protection, because she’s doing just fine on her own! Apparently, when she was doing a red carpet interview with Billy Bush, she caught sight of Gerard Butler and she told Billy, “I’d hit that.” That’s my girl! What happened after that is so f-cking epic and wonderful, it just makes my day:

Gabourey Sidibe met Gerard Butler for the first time on Saturday night and things didn’t go exactly as she wanted.

“I bumped into him yesterday. I feel like I stepped on his foot,” she said.

But on Sunday, while being interview by Access Hollywood’s Billy Bush on the Oscars red carpet, her second meeting with Gerard became forever memorable.

“He’s kinda sexy,” Gabourey told Billy, as she saw Gerard again, standing to her left, just out of earshot. “I’d hit that.”

And as Gerard leaned in to shake her hand, Billy asked Gabby if he really heard her correctly.

“I kinda said, ‘I’d hit that.’ I’m not ashamed,” she said as Gerard heard her words for the first time, reacting with a shock of delight. “I’d hit that. I’m sorry.”

“I’m here, I’m available,” Gerard said after he composed himself from the proposition from the Best Actress nominee. “Let’s go!”’

“Let’s grab a bottle of champagne and see where the night goes,” Gabourey replied.

You go girl!

[From Access Hollywood]

Oh my God, Gaby is my sister, for real. Because that is exactly how I would have propositioned Gerard too (in my dreams)! I would have gotten within earshot, and then said to whoever was around, “I would rip that man apart. With. My. Vadge.” And how much do I love Gerard for being such a great sport? You know what? He probably would hit that right back. I wholeheartedly approve of this love match! Wouldn’t that just be the most beautiful thing in the world, if Gerard showed up to The Bounty Hunter premiere with his new girlfriend Gaby Sidibe? I would just die of happiness.

I was glancing through the photos this morning, and I noticed something lovely. Some of the hottest guys of Hollywood have come out to play for many of the pre-Oscar bashes in Los Angeles. So even though we don’t really have anything to report on these guys, I still thought we’d all enjoy looking at pretty photos of some of the dudes that we don’t always get to look at. Eli Roth (above) has been all over the place this awards season, but I rarely write about him. He’s one of my top crushes these days, just because I like what a naughty “basterd” he is. Sigh… I love him.

Here’s Jeremy Renner with his mom! She’s going to be his date for the Oscars, and I guess she gets to have some of the pre-party fun too. His mom is really cute! She must be so proud of him. I like how he’s trying to do the squinty/smoldering pose while standing next to his mom.

Well, hello, Aaron Eckhart, you sexy bearded bastard. Mm… he looks good enough to eat.

Have I ever mentioned that I find Jason Statham attractive? You know I like arrogance in a man, and he wears it well. I appreciate when a guy is going bald and he just shaves everything off. And his body is fantastic. Sidenote: that’s the back of Oliver Stone’s head.

Olivier Martinez! He looks really good too. I wish we saw more of his rat face, I enjoy it. He was there with his girlfriend Elsa Pataki (the one who was dating Adrien Brody, and he bought her a castle, and she left him for Olivier).

Some women find Ashton Kutcher hot. I’m not one of them, but I’m crushing on Demi’s beautiful dress.

Never really gotten the Matt Dillon thing. Unless we’re talking about Wild Things. But even then, it wasn’t really about Matt Dillon.

I saw James Marsden in that dumb 27 Dresses movie, and I kind of liked him. It was a dumb movie full of dumb characters, but he was the best part. He’s got gorgeous eyes.

Dave Annabel is one of my quiet crushes. He isn’t up to “imaginary boyfriend” status, but he just seems like such a sweetheart. He just got engaged too. He seems like the kind of guy who just wants to settle down and have a home. Nice to see those dudes still exist.

Adrien Brody! He looks good. Perhaps he’s still a little heartbroken over Elsa. He looks depressed, doesn’t he? Sigh… I could cheer him up.

Various men at various pre-Oscar parties, like the Hollywood Reporter’s party at the LA Mayor’s mansion and the Hollywood Domino Gala, both on March 4, 2010 Credit: WENN.