Star Magazine reports that John Mayer hasn’t been content to feed his white supremacist dong a steady stream of random groupies. No, John’s KKK dong demands young starlets. Like, inappropriately young. Like Taylor Swift. And now 90210’s Shenae Grimes, that chick who is known for her radical weight loss as soon as she got a touch of fame. She’s 21 years old, and it seems like the girl has self-esteem issues. Both of which is cat-nip for a predator like Mayer.
The secret’s out! 90210 babe Shenae Grimes, 21, has been raving about her steamy connection with John Mayer, 33, to pals on the Santa Monica, CA set of her upcoming drama, Sugar.
“Shanae is telling friend that she’s having a secret fling with John,” an insider reveals. “They’ve hooked up a few times and talk and text, but John wants to keep it low profile for once.”
Lovestruck Shenae has actually been crushing on John for years – she was spotted swooning over him at a concert he gave in Hollywood in August 2009. Now she’s pushing him to go public with their romance, but she will likely end up with a broken heart instead.
“She just doesn’t seem to get that he’s not the kind of guy to fall for too deeply,” an insider says of John, who has loved and left the likes of Jessica Simpson and Jennifer Aniston. “He’s a total player, and that isn’t going to change anytime soon.”
[From Star Magazine, print edition]
Ugh. There’s a reason why certain men in their 30s go for these young little things – because those dudes are totally freaks with massive issues, and the younger girls are less likely to call them on their bullsh-t. Which brings me to a story. A few weeks ago, a reader (who will be referred to as “J”) sent in a hilarious email about how her friend hooked up with John Mayer a while ago, and… yes, we have no idea if this is real or anywhere near the truth, but it’s just too good. Just read:
I’m aware that you can’t actually use this gossip as it’s second hand, but it’s so hysterical that I had to share. I’ve always been on the side of “give John Mayer a break, I think he’s just being funny.” That being said:
A girlfriend of ours had been living in Spain and just came back for the holidays so we had a get together. She started tell us the story about the time she hooked up with John Mayer right before she moved. She had gone to his concert and ended up hanging out with him and his band afterwards. She then went back to his hotel room to hook up.
He insisted on having his own music play while they made out. He talked repeatedly about his penis like it was a third person in the room, and kept asking her “do you like him? What do you think of him? Tell him you like him”. He then stopped having sex to put on another playlist – of his own music – because the music stopped.
She’s admittedly slept with a few musicians, athletes etc but she said he was the most narcissistic person that she’s ever been with.
I give up. He is a super douche. But her story and her impression of his O face was hysterical.
[Submitted from Reader J]
I mean… that’s what he’s like. It feels like the truth. So… my new thing is picturing Mayer’s psychotic O-face on top of Jennifer Aniston as his own music plays. That image will have you giggling for days.
UPDATE: …And Shenae is denying this. That’s interesting – I was expecting a Mayer denial. Maybe Shenae is smarter than I think? Shenae tweeted: “According to Star magazine John Mayer and I are in secret sexy cahoots. How wonderful for me…if wonderful meant embarrassing.” Oh, for goodness sake. She probably tipped Star off just so she could deny it.