Britney had an event-filled few days leading up to Christmas in which she gave us a public lesson on typical bipolar and/or drug addict behavior. You’ve probably heard by now that she decided to pick her next lover from among the paparazzi that swarm around her constantly, and settled on a British guy named Adnan. OK! Magazine has the blow-by-blow, so to speak.

The handsome photographer wasn’t around when Britney decided she wanted to shack up with him on Saturday, so she asked his co-worker to summon him for her. Adnan showed up and hung out with her in the car as they drove around aimlessly for an hour. At one point she got out to take a photo of a mural and then freaked out swearing at photographers for taking pictures of her, throwing her camera on the ground. When one of them retrieved the memory card for her she was all sweetness and light, saying “I love you guys… it’s not like me to get mad at you.”

Britney visited several public restrooms that night, which seems to be evidence of some kind of UTI or drug use. My vote is on drug use since she was seen covering her face and nose. She also changed outfits three times.

Adnan and Britney went to her house, but they didn’t stay there because she told him it was too dirty. He then went to the Pennisula hotel with Britney and came out of the room an hour later to buy cigarettes. He told photographers who quizzed him on what was going on that “It’s hard to make babies when you’re just having lunch.” It was night time at that point, so he must not have meant it literally.

After buying some smokes the guy went back up to the hotel with Britney and left Sunday morning at 10:30 am. He then went to her house, and OK! notes that her kids were scheduled for a visit later that day.

So Britney shacked up with a photographer. She doesn’t really have a lot of suitors to chose from at this point. It seems inevitable that she picked one of the guys who is around her constantly, especially since that restaurant manager didn’t work out.

There’s also a story in this week’s National Enquirer that Britney wasn’t just barred from the Four Seasons – she was personally escorted out by security when she didn’t pack up quick enough:

[Britney] raised so much hell at swanky Four Seasons hotel in BevHills she was summarily ejected from her Presidential Suite and escorted off the posh premises by security guards! Sources say Britney, who’d practically taken up residency at the legendary inn, had been warned repeatedly by management that a Hollywood bigshot in the suite directly below hers – a longtime resident who pays a million bucks-plus per year – was complaining about nighttime parties, loud music and drunken hoochie-momma’s screaming from Brit’s balcony to people below! After visits by security failed to silence Swamp Thang and her brain-fried menagerie, Mr. Angry VIP phoned the hotel manager and threatened to move out. Fed up, the manager phoned Britney and ordered her to vacate the premises immediately. Incredibly, the furious brat refused at first. Snapped the manager: “I’m sending security up NOW! Pack your bags and leave, please.” Finally bowing to the inevitable, Britney packed up and was escorted down the street and out the exit by security.

[From The National Enquirer, print edition, Mike Walker's column, December 31, 2007]

It seems as if Britney tried to return on another night, because outlets were reporting that she was turned away from the Four Seasons and barred from future visits.

And there’s a story that experts feel Britney is at risk for suicide. They probably got the idea from Perez Hilton, who said on The View when asked if he felt guilty for reporting so negatively about celebrities that “If Britney committed suicide tomorrow and died, she would be the only one to blame I think.”

Page Six quoted an “addiction expert” as saying that “[Britney's] going to eventually lose it altogether if she doesn’t get the help she needs.” The expert also says that Britney is seeking attention after her sister got pregnant, taking the focus away from her erratic behavior and calling for even more drastic measures.

Hang in there Britney, all you need to do is start hanging out with your sister again once she starts showing and you’ll get plenty of publicity.

Britney could also take the Paris Hilton route to mass media exposure – she could go to jail. OK! Magazine reports that if Britney misses another deposition in her custody case with K-Fed she could be sent to jail for contempt of court.

Britney is shown out without a bra with her paparazzo hook up this weekend, thanks to WENN.

Lindsay Lohan is once again partying all night and shopping every day, which seemed inevitable once she got out of rehab, and she’s using the same old tired methods to conceal and cope with her addictions. She’s been seen out more than once toting her own personal water bottle. And someone claims they saw as assistant fill her bottle with vodka, just like she used to do before she went to rehab three times:

Lindsay raised more than a few eyebrows when she arrived at new Hollywood club Goa carrying a suspicious water bottle on December 8. “Lindsay didn’t order anything to drink but kept sipping from her bottle,” an eyewitness at the club reveals…

Another eyewitness saw the star in November at Stereo in NYC, where an assistant filled a water bottle with Grey Goose vodka.

[From In Touch, print edition, December 24, 2007]

Last week there was a story that Lohan got wasted at a party near her hometown in Long Island with her then-boyfriend, Riley Giles. The guy was said to have cheated on her by screwing another party-goer that night out in the woods, but it sounds like she was drunk by then anyway. She refused multiple offers of rides and ended up having Riley, who was also in no state to drive, take her home.

And Star Magazine has a story this week that Lohan is looking for a wealthy guy to support her trashy couture lifestyle, which could explain her brief hookup with Stavros that was quickly thwarted by jealous Paris. We reported back in September that she was begging even casual acquaintances for $10,000, and now she hopes to get a more permanent source of cash since her failing career isn’t allowing her to buy the meaningless accoutrements of extreme wealth that she’s accustomed to:

“She’s dying for some rich guy to take care of her!” [a] friend reveals to Star.

She thought she’d found one in superwealthy shipping heir Stavros Niarchos, who wined and diner her all over LA in late November. But he shocked her earlier this month by jetting off to Miami and meeting up with old love Paris Hilton.

“Lindsay says Stav’s money makes him hot,” says the pal. “She loves to talk about how he’s ‘richer than God.’”

But Stavros, 22, isn’t the only guy Lindsay’s hitting up for money. She asked ex Calum Best, the 26-year-old British millionaire playboy, for money. And she even called rapper 50 Cent, who’s helping with her upcoming album, and requested $20,000 in early December.

[From Star Magazine, print edition, December 24, 2007]

Thankfully Star reports that 50 Cent refused to give Lindsay any cash. She’s said to be hard up for money since she only received a paltry $800,000 for the film Dare to Love Me. That sounds like a lot of money but it’s not enough to keep up with her lavish spending.

On Friday Lohan called into a Las Vegas radio station that was holding a contest for Hannah Montana tickets for anyone who could get a celebrity to phone in. She told the DJs that she’s “growing up” and that her “life is different now” and that she’s a “different person.” She supposedly wanted the Hannah Montana tickets for a friend’s nieces, but since she’s so hard up for cash I wouldn’t put it past her to scalp them. You could get an astronomically priced giant purse for that money that will be in style until at least the end of next season.

Lohan is shown out shopping on Saturday, thanks to WENN and Splash News. She is looking really beat lately.

Britney Spears is so desperate for a boyfriend that she offered Mike Marchand, a waiter and aspiring actor, $25k to date her and appear in one of her videos. She also gave the guy a cell phone so she could have a direct line to him day and night. Britney is hounding the waiter to date her, and has shown up at his restaurant, Mirabelle’s, multiple times in a lame attempt to garner his interest. Marchand doesn’t seem to want to be associated with Britney, and has even tried to tell the media that he’s not dating her. His mom may have blown his cover, though.

“Britney met Mike at the restaurant a couple of weeks ago and she immediately put on a full-court press to get him to go out with her,” an insider told The Enquirer.

“Britney’s in Mirabelle’s all the time now keeping tabs on Mike’s every move.

“At one point, she told Mike she’d pay him $25,000 and give him a part in her new video if he’d start dating her. But the whole thing is stressing him out. He can’t stand how she watches his every move.”

The no-nonsense waiter “initially turned down Britney’s offer, but she’s still hoping he’ll change his mind,” says the source.

“Mike said Britney gave him a dedicated cell phone and she texts him constantly.”

[From The National Enquirer, print edition, December 10, 2007]

Meanwhile one of Marchand’s friends told OK! Magazine that it’s not true that he’s dating Britney. The guy may be hoping for an acting career, but he seems to realize that being linked to Britney is only going to hurt his chances. They claim he never dated Britney and she’s only showing up at his workplace to hound him. He did drive to her place once, but he only waited at the gate while trying to return a cellphone that was left at the restaurant.

“Michael Marchand isn’t a new one-time fling,” explains Brit’s closest friend to OK!. “He isn’t a new boyfriend — he isn’t even a friend… And he did not go to Las Vegas with her!”

So how did Brit, who celebrates her 26th birthday next Monday, end up being photographed with Michael? “The only connection she has with him is that she’s eaten in Mirabelle, where he works,” claims the friend.

However, the friend confesses, Michael did indeed attempt to make contact with the divorced mother of two. During one of their dinners at Mirabelle, Brit’s ever-present pal Sam Lutfi left his cell phone on the table. Michael retrieved the mislaid mobile and drove out to The Summit, Britney’s gated community looking down on Beverly Hills. “Michael was not allowed through the gates,” Brit’s friend reveals. “He has never seen Britney outside the restaurant.”

[From OK! Magazine]

Contrary to these other reports that Britney and the waiter are just friends, Star Magazine has quotes from Marchand’s mother about how friendly he and Britney are. She says that “Michael and Britney really enjoy each other’s company,” and that “they like watching videos together and playing Scrabble.” She also says that “Britney is a very sweet person, very down to earth, and is also a very loving and caring parent.”

These quotes come in an inset article about the weird sex room Britney has in her dirty near-abandoned mansion. And she’s supposedly telling friends that she’s pregnant again. When it comes to Britney, anything is possible, but I’m more likely to believe that she tried to bribe a guy to date her over a story that she likes playing Scrabble and is a good mom. The pregnancy story is a toss up, but it seems likely.

Here are pictures of Britney looking uncharacteristically good at the Scandinavian Mansion of Style party on Saturday, where she took home a fur coat, Paris Hilton and a guy. Yesterday was her birthday. Splash News reports that she took a male party-goer back to her hotel while x17 has her partying back at the hotel with Paris. Maybe the new guy will take the heat off that poor waiter.

Thanks to PRPhotos for these pictures.

25 year-old British method actress Sienna Miller has managed to keep her mouth shut about her ill-fated on-again off-again relationship with cad Jude Law for at least a month that I can tell. Since splitting with Law, she was linked with Hayden Christensen and super catch P. Diddy. She was partying in Ibiza with Diddy just last week, although she insists they’re “just friends.”

Yesterday she was linked with an upcoming costar, LOTR hottie and fellow Brit Sean Bean, 48. Sienna was said to be head over heels for the actor and to have had him over to her place for some, uh, home cookin’:

In fact, she is so into him that she has already spent a romantic evening with him at her west London home, where she treated him to the culinary delight of beef stew.

A source close to Sienna, 25, revealed: “She is completely mesmerised by Bean already. She has told friends that she can’t help feeling transfixed by his green eyes and loves the fact that he is a real macho man.”

Sienna is due to begin filming Oscar Wilde’s A Woman Of No Importance with Bean in September – but she hasn’t wasted any time in getting to know Sheffield-born Bean.

As well as a romantic meal, Sienna is understood to be on the phone nonstop to the 48-year-old actor, who has split with girlfriend Georgina Sutcliffe.

Our source continues: “He is almost twice Sienna’s age but she doesn’t care about that.

“She has dated many men of many different ages, and who have varied circumstances, so the fact he is a bit older isn’t an issue for her, she is hoping to get to know him a lot better.”

[From The Daily Mail]

Today that same source, The Daily Mail, has her with her other costar, Matthew Rhys (not the hot probably gay one, that’s Jonathan Rhys Meyers.) Either Sienna is all over the place or the Daily Mail is trying to make it like she’s sleeping around, not that she needs help in that department. It seems like the only information they have about this supposed relationship are the group dates Sienna went on with Rhys, Keira Knightley and her boyfriend back when they were filming, but that’s old news and they all just looked like they were hanging out:

With encouragement from mutual friend and co-star Keira Knightly, Sienna and the Welsh actor went on a number of dates back in June.

A friend says, “This is the first bloke Sienna has been serious with since she finally split from Jude. These vicious allegations of her being with Sean ‘Diddy’ Combs and splitting up his relationship with Kim Porter are awful.

“But they have actually worked in her and Matthew’s favour a bit. It has taken the heat off their relationship.”

[From The Daily Mail]

I would bet Sienna is actually all up in Sean Bean’s grill and that this other story about her non-romance with Matthew Rhys is just meant to make her look like a slut. Again, she doesn’t need help in that department.

The NY Post points out that she has a history of hooking up with her co-stars: first Jude Law in Alfie, then Hayden Christiansen, now Sean Bean and maybe Matthew Rhys. She’s young, though, and it’s not like she’s breaking up any relationships – or is she?

In the header image Miller is shown at the NY screening of the film Interview on 7/11. Thanks to WENN. Composite image of Sienna and Sean Bean thanks to the Daily Mail. I’m wondering why her dress looks navy blue in the top picture and black in the second.

Proving that an Australian Dad is more effective than a room full of Puff Daddy bodyguards – and fiercer than a pocketful of pitbulls – the father of the Quantas stewardess alleged to have had cramped yet credible mile high sex with Ralph Fiennes came to her defense:

Graham Roberston, told a Sydney radio station that his daughter – was not expecting to be reinstated.
‘She probably knows she’s going to lose it,’ Robertson said. ‘I couldn’t imagine her doing it up in the plane,’ he added. ‘You’ve got other staff there and customers.’
He was highly critical of colleagues who reported her toilet tryst to management, saying they were ‘probably as ugly as a hatful of arseholes and were just jealous.’

via playfuls

You have to admire the Antipodean Oedipal Complex: it lacks the imagination for bathroom sex, but the mental gymnastics involved in a milliners colonoscopy … not a problem. The ever imaginative Graham continued on a more prosaic note.

He added: “Lisa just does her job. If someone wants a coffee and biscuits, she looks after them. She’s not a bad looking girl. If you do the right thing people take a liking to you.”

Talk about damned by faint praise: ‘not bad looking’ is less touching as a paternal compliment when you realize how low down the totem pole Dad has built his idea of ugly … what with the hatfuls of it mentioned earlier. I’m guessing Lisa goes hatless regardless of the weather or at the very least favors scarves for windy runways.

Chiming in from the other side of the aisle, Ralph Fiennes girlfriend of the last five-months held forth on why she finds tales of Ralphie as bathroom bimbo no surprise:

I interior designer Sirin Lewenden, was not surprised when she read in the papers about Ralph Fiennes and his little escapade. She ended their relationship citing Fiennes’ “wandering eye”, “moodiness” and “constant demands for sex”.

“Sirin found it quite exhausting,” a friend of the actor said.

“She likes a bit of fun but also likes a much simpler life. In the end she had had enough.”

“They split because of Ralph’s wandering eye and his constant demands for what might best be described as unconventional sex. He could also be prone to the odd mood swing.”

“Now Ralph is single and clearly enjoying it. It was with no great surprise that Sirin heard of the sexual encounter on the flight,” the friend of the British actor said.

The rule seems to be with Hollywood Englishmen (Hugh Grant anyone?) the floppier the hair the filthier the lad.

Sharon Stone was holding some kind of benefit auction in Berlin yesterday for a peace foundation, and she started drunken dirty talking to the audience, calling them “naughty, nasty little Germans” and purr growling. She must have confused her gig as a charity auctioneer with the job she was hired for later that night as Dieter Bohlen’s mistress. After Stone’s weird purr, which garnered applause from the audience, the annoucer just says in German that the last winning bidder is coming onto the stage.

[via ONTD]

This is the woman who said during an AIDS benefit auction that “I want to take it [cash] from your pocket so I can feel how big your penis is when I take it,” so it’s not like this is new for her. She also made out with a holy wall in Israel and claimed she would kiss anyone and everyone for world peace. You can see from the video that she got upset that people were talking and that’s when she started with the bedroom talk. Stone can’t stand it when she’s not the center of attention.

The source of the video (link plays automatic video) claims she was making out with Richard Gere the night this footage was taken, but unfortunately I haven’t seen evidence of that.

Header image is from Sharon Stone’s “peace mission” to Israel last March.

Showing she equates sex with fast food but gives it less value, Lindsay Lohan is said to have texted Nicole Richie’s ex and Laguna Beach Reality star Brody Jenner over the weekend that she was looking for “McDonald’s and sex.”

Usmagazine.com has learned that Lohan, 20, who entered L.A.’s Wonderland rehab center on Jan. 18 to treat her addiction issues, has been sending bachelor-about-town Brody Jenner, 23, sexy text messages for the last couple weeks.

We’ve eye-balled one particularly flirtatious sext-message that Lohan sent Jenner – former flame of Kristin Cavallari, Nicole Richie and Lauren Conrad – last Saturday night in which the 12-stepper, among other requests, texted that all she wanted was “McDonald’s and sex.”

When asked by Usmagazine.com to comment on Lohan’s textual pursuit, Jenner, who just signed a deal to be a spokesman for Scope mouthwash, said, “Sorry, dude. I don’t text and tell.”

Those are probably the only two things she can’t obtain in the revolving door rehab where she’s staying. Lohan has been seen out eating and shopping, and service people such as masseurs, hairdressers, and makeup artists have been called in to meet her daily needs. Now that future male prostitute Mike Tyson has arrived to keep her company, at least one of her texted needs can be met in house.

According to the New York Daily News, Britney Spears was rejected by the NFL. That’s right—the National Football League turned down Brit’s request to appear in a TV commercial to promote the league’s TV network.

The NFL is not exactly known for holding up the standards of good taste. Every commercial you see during an NFL game includes skanky girls and/or beer. To add insult to injury, a source for the NFL called Britney a “train wreck”

Ouch. Being told you are a “train wreck” by such a high class organization such as the National Football League is harsh. But is it harsh enough to penetrate Brit’s white trash brain? Probably not.

Update by Celebitchy: And guess who was given a spot in the superbowl ad instead of Britney – Paris Hilton. That’s classic.

Britney Spears and Paris Hilton have been voted the Worst Celebrity Role Models of 2006 in a joint poll between Associated Press and AOL.

Brit got a heaping 29% of the vote for the “Worst” role model, while Paris received 18% and the anti-Semitic ranting Mel Gibson got 17%. Way to go Brit! Your commando pics and party hopping have really paid off!

Other names on the “Worst Role Model” list include: Tom Cruise, Michael Richards, K-Fed, Nicole Ritchie, Lindsay Lohan and Angelina Jolie.

I know I’m white trash but I disagree that Angelina should be on this list. The woman gives zillions to the poor and adopts orphans. Sure, she broke up Brad and Jen’s marriage but why lump her with tramps girls like Brit and Paris?

After seeing some of the Britney pics from the LA Lakers game, I just have to know. Who in the hell is dressing Britney and could someone please tell her to at least button up her shirt!

It’s clear that Britney is dumber than a box of rocks. She’s nice but we agree that she’s not the sharpest tool in the shed.

For the love of God, isn’t there somebody in her family or her “posse” that can tell her to button up her shirt before she leaves home?

I’m not approaching the “button up” issue from a moral perspective. I am simply stating a fact from a pure PR standpoint. For the sake of any future career and more important for the custody of her kids—someone just button her top.

If she won’t stay away from the bars, you all just have to make sure Brit is dressed when she leaves the house. Who is with me on this one? Do I need to fly in do it myself?

Thanks to Splash News for the photo.

Update by Celebitchy: Britney even got asked to put on some clothes and get off the stage at a strip club.