Academy-Award nominated documentary filmmaker Morgan Spurlock angered some and delighted others with a controversial speech at a high school in Pennsylvania on Friday. Spurlock is the creator and star of the film “Super Size Me” which follows his health-damaging experience of eating only McDonalds food for 30 days.

In Spurlock’s speech, he is said to have made an off color joke about “retards” and to have used the F word. While some were offended, many students predictably thought the speech was great:

Spurlock says the school made the outrageous request that he not mention McDonalds in his speech because a member of the school board runs a local franchise. It is possible that his comments were blown out of proportion by hostile adults in the audience, but if he did make a reference to “retards” he deserves the public ire that he’s receiving. Everyone knows that the “r” word is cruel and taboo.

Spurlock has yet to comment on the incident in his official blog.

Spurlock recently produced the groundbreaking socially conscious reality series “30 Days” for the FX network. Episodes followed everyday people undergoing life-changing experiences for a month. In one episode, Spurlock and his girlfriend, vegan chef Alex Jamieson, lived on minimum wage for a month in Ohio. Minor health problems and a backbreaking work schedule helped them realize firsthand how difficult it is for hardworking Americans to make ends meet. The Season One DVD of 30 Days will be available in June.

Jennifer Aniston is digging herself into a deep, dark hole from which her career will never recover. Only a select few people in this world are given the advantages in life that Aniston shits on every time she opens her mouth.

Her latest quotes, of which there are plenty, are just full of gratitude for her charmed existence.

The woman who has most of the world’s resources at her disposal is bitching about some furry rabbits in the huge front lawn of the massive mansion she lives in:

All she has to do is pick up the phone and ask someone to come over. She can probably even get the guys who created Wallace and Gromit to come over with a working BunnyVac. When you have the kind of cash that Aniston does, you’re truly a petty person if you let some little rabbits get to you.

You’re also stupid if you rip on the entertainment industry that made you an ungrateful star, but of course she does it anyway.

Aniston, there are devices that help you avoid unwanted television programs. They’re called a Tivo, a Replay TV, or you can even get a Media Center PC. Again, pick up the phone and ask for some help. The next time you need help around the house, please do us a favor and consult the yellow pages instead of complaining to the reporters that hover around you.

We are glad that you are moving to Chicago to live with your bloated paramour, Vince Vaughn. Please refrain from speaking to reporters there, and ask Vince to help you with minor problems around the house.

Also, this other shit you said about how the paparrazi bothers you and how men came on to you while you were married, we really don’t care. Please review Mischa Barton’s latest interview, and take notes on how to respond to reporters.

Natalie Portman crosses over into dangerous Gwyneth Paltrow territory by comparing actresses who do it for the money to whores:

Portman, just because you wear vegan shoes and give college lectures for publicity doesn’t mean you’re any better than other actresses.

Not only are you stupid and arrogant, you’re also a hypocrite.

Even though you do ads in Japan that doesn’t mean we don’t know about them. Were you appearing in these shampoo commercials for the sheer challenge of portraying a young woman with glossy hair? You must be terribly ashamed for selling your body for some cash two years ago.

Gwyneth Paltrow is having a boy and plans to name him Mortimer. No, we did not make this up:

First of all, Mortimer is a nickname Paltrow made up and isn’t even Speilberg’s real name, which is really Steven Spielberg.

Second, there’s a reason why only old Jewish men are named Mortimer - it’s a weird creepy name that is deservedly out of fashion.

We hope this rumor is false or that Paltrow changes her mind. The girl is a pompous laughing stock and she should get therapy from a non new-age source.

We have no idea why Pamela Anderson is wearing a cheerleader outfit, but the possibilities are not endless. We’re sure the 39 year-old has a good excuse for trying to escape from the cameras while dressed as a cheerleader and carrying a napkin.

Pam looks pretty hot despite recent partying, and clearly keeps herself in good shape. She has attributed her health to a vegetarian diet and eating lots of Avacados, which she says keep her Hepatitis C at bay.

She also said that now that she’s getting up in years she is considering having another child:

We would assume that caring for ten children is not the same as looking after two, and think that Anderson will have little trouble finding a sperm donor, as evidenced by these pictures.

Anderson also recently admitted to having a love-hate relationship with her boobs. While she seems to give a lot of stupid quotes, they don’t seem rude or conceited and both Eva Longoria and Jennifer Aniston would do better to emulate Anderson.

Here is Anderson dressed up as a cheerleader. These pictures were taken in Malibu on 3/17. [via]

Train wreck Babyshambles frontman Pete Doherty, who recently reconciled with shit-for-brains supermodel Kate Moss, is so mired in his addictive ways that he openly did crack, heroin and ecstasy in front of a Rolling Stone reporter. He also offered the reporter a taste of everything, except crack, which Doherty is known to adore.

Doherty most recently proved that he’s on crack by befriending Mike Tyson.

A little love from kooky Kate and a vacation in the south of France might help him sober up, but we doubt it.

Eva Longoria shows how arrogant and annoying she is in every interview. In the new issue of Allure she reveals that she’s only the second woman her boyfriend Tony Parker has slept with, and brags about how whipped she has him:

What a stupid bitch. She’s saying she’s not a selfish, arrogant, and screamy actress. That’s like saying she’s not a petite brunette.

She has one of those cute conversations with her boyfriend like “oh, our kids will be into sports” and repeats it to a magazine like it’s substantial information about her future.

I really hope Tony breaks up with her after he finds out that she repeats their pillow talk. He may be a good guy, but he can’t be that much of a pushover.

Normally that is not news, but there’s a video of a very drunk Tara getting into her car. She must not be able to afford a cab. [via]

We cannot contain our delight at today’s news that Cameron and Justin are taking advantage of the brief ice skating “craze” to create and star in a ice skating-themed romance movie:

By the time they finish this flop the public will not give a shit about ice skating. The Olympics are finished, Skating with Celebrities has wrapped, and no one will care about ice skating a month from now. The only reason people will watch this is to see Cameron in tiny outfits.

Everyone also knows that it’s incredibly stupid to make a film with your significant other. The Sun recaps:

Gigli on ice - we can’t wait!

The track list on Paris’ upcoming album was announced today in a published interview. Fox News, grateful to be granted five minutes of the heiress’ time, edited out her spiteful comments, fed her lines, and credited her with intelligence and wit far beyond her ability to comprehend:

Paris’ three word remarks do smack of irony, don’t they? Someone talks in a normal voice and suddenly they’re brilliant.

The song list on Paris’ new CD must also be ironic, because surely it’s not just moronic and predictable:

That’s right, Paris is doing a cover of Rod Stewart’s “Do You Think I’m Sexy.” Many people think you’re sexy, Paris, and now at least one guy at Fox thinks you’re clever, too. [via]