As we saw yesterday, the time has come for the end-of-the-year lists and fake awards naming people The Most or The Best of Year. GQ named Scarlett Johansson the “Babe of the Year” and now they’ve released their other People of the Year. Jeff Bridges got Man of the Year, for his Oscar win and his upcoming roles in Tron and True Grit. Plus, you know, Jeff is just awesome and everyone loves and respects him.

My favorite was Stephen Colbert, who GQ named as “Patriot of the Year”. I just love this photo of Colbert bleeding red, white and blue. It’s a great shot. I wish he was wearing his glasses though!

Drake was named “Breakout of the Year” because you can’t turn on a radio these days without hearing him, and hey, it’s well-deserved.

And James Franco was named “Leading Actor of the Year” probably because everyone thinks he’s going to at the very least be nominated for Best Actor for his role in 127 Hours. It’s interesting seeing him clean-shaven, and I almost didn’t recognize him.

All in all, not a bad list.

Photos courtesy of GQ.

The Rally to Restory Sanity/March To Keep Fear Alive is coming up quickly! Only two weeks to go, bitches. Anyway, The Daily Show last night was epic – it’s their last show until they go to DC, one week from now. On last night’s episode, Stephen Colbert video-bombed Jon in the opening minutes of the show. Jon and Stephen discussed how the Fear rally didn’t have a permit, and they decided to join their rallies into “The Rally to Restore Sanity and/or Fear”. That was good enough… but then a special quest star came on via video link around the 6 minute mark.

OPRAH!!! When Jon was on Oprah’s show a few weeks ago, she told him that she was hurt that she had never gotten an invitation on his show, and he basically told her she was always welcome. So she “snuck on set” and left tickets for every audience member to come to the DC rally! That’s so OPRAH! It was actually very cute.

For more information about The Rally to Restore Sanity, go here.

Stephen Colbert testified before a judicial sub-committee this morning, and into the afternoon. Colbert was asked to testify by the committee’s chair, Rep. Zoe Lofgren, and by the president of the United Farm Workers, Arturo Rodriguez. You see, the UFW ran a program called “Take Our Jobs” where they offered any takers the chance to experience the career choice of “migrant worker.” Colbert took them up on the offer, and worked a ten-hour day on a farm. So Colbert has many thoughts about the state of migrant workers and the state of American farms and immigration and all of it. When he was asked to testify, people didn’t know if they would get Stephen Colbert, Catholic Sunday school teacher, father, husband and concerned citizen, or whether they would COLBERT, hilarious comedian/performance artist. Guess which one they got? Here’s Politico’s (snide) take… I think Colbert must have farted on Politico’s croissant.

Comedian Stephen Colbert commandeered a hearing on migrant farm workers with lewd one-liners Friday morning, creating a public relations pile-up at the tail end of a legislative session that is limping into a pre-election recess. It was lost on no one that the Comedy Central faux news anchor delivered his off-color rant against the backdrop of the House canceling floor votes for the rest of this week as Democratic leaders struggle to reach consensus on how to move a simple stopgap spending bill that will prevent the government from shutting down on Oct. 1.

“I would like to submit a video of my colonoscopy into the Congressional Record,” he told mortified lawmakers at one point.

“Sorry for saying cornpacker, I know it’s an offensive term for gay Iowans,” he told conservative Iowa Rep. Steve King.

He made reference to getting a “Brazilian” — a wax-based hair-removal service in a very delicate area of the body — from a Chilean at a spa serving tomatoes sliced by a Guatemalan. Colbert’s comedic rant was also a sleight of hand – his “prepared” testimony was passed out to the media before he spoke, and it was a bland, seemingly straightforward speech on migrant workers in America.

An aide to Speaker Nancy Pelosi (D-Calif.), who has met with Colbert in the Capitol in the past and even signed the cast on his broken arm a few years ago, did not immediately respond to a request for comment on the hearing.

Rep. Judy Chu (D-Calif.) defended Colbert’s appearance, noting that Republican-led committees had invited celebrities such as Elmo the muppet to testify in the past. But it’s not as if some Democrats on the committee couldn’t see the disaster coming. Judiciary Committee Chairman John Conyers (D-Mich.) implored Colbert to simply enter his testimony into the record without speaking. Some in the room gasped. Colbert muttered into the mic: “No hablo Ingles,” before straightening up and asking Rep. Zoe Lofgren (D-Calif.), the subcommittee chairwoman, if she’d prefer if he left the room. She did not.

Colbert began speaking after Conyers withdrew his request — quickly moving past his somber prepared remarks in favor of the sort of comedy featured on his show.

“Please don’t make me do this again, it is really, really hard,” Colbert said of spending a day in the fields at the invitation of the president of the United Farm Workers union. “Most soil is at ground level. If we can put a man on the moon, how come we can’t make the earth waist-high. Come on, where is the funding?!”

Colbert’s comically aimed testimony missed its mark at points, making a mockery of Congress and perhaps also of the issue he claimed to champion. News that Colbert would be testifying on the Hill had some fans lining up as early as 6:30 a.m. for a seat in the committee room. Code Pink protestors turned out, as did a slew of TV cameras. Lofgren warned the audience to “maintain decorum” — and noted Capitol Police were on hand to remove hecklers.

Not surprisingly, the conservatives whom Colbert pillories nightly were unamused by his presence, with some complaining that it was a waste of government resources.

“A few years ago when debating himself on his show, he asked ‘Don’t we want to have cheap labor for all the jobs we don’t want to do?” Rep. Lamar Smith (R-Texas) recalled. He responded “Yeah, unless you’re an American landscaper or an American construction worker.” Then he added “But I am an American TV host. My job is safe.”

“Millions of Americans wish they didn’t have to compete with cheap foreign labor and had such a safe job,” Smith said.

‘Maybe we should spend less time watching Comedy Central and more time looking for the jobs that are out there,” said Iowa Rep. Steve King, the ranking Republican on the subcommittee. He also argued that it was insulting to imply that migrant workers were taking jobs Americans didn’t want.

Rep. Howard Berman (D-Calif.) shot back that there’s nothing in the UFW’s “Take Our Jobs” campaign that implies “Americans aren’t doing hard work, and if the gentleman from Iowa were deeply concerned about the conditions on the farms and the wages, I would have noticed more activity to makes sure that a number of the laws that apply to all Americans apply with equal force to all Americans who pick fruits and vegetables in our country.”

It’s clear Colbert succeeded in drawing attention to his testimony — whether that advances the cause of migrant farm workers or the Democratic lawmakers who asked him to appear remains to be seen.

[From Politico]

Yeah… watch the video and you’ll see how actually funny he was. And you know what? He did bring a lot of attention to the issue. And now we know which congressmen have sh-tty senses of humor.

By the way, Colbert made a hilarious comment yesterday, before his testimony: “Republicans are concerned that I will make light of the responsibility of governance? That I will someway impede the smooth flow of the governing of this country? I take exception with that.”

This is a poster made in honor of Stephen Colbert, made by artist Shepard Fairey (best known for his Obama “Hope” and “Change” pieces). As many know, Colbert is headed to Vancouver for the Winter Olympics. It all started when the U.S. Speedskating team lost its biggest sponsor, and the team asked Colbert if he could step in. So he did – and he asked “The Colbert Nation” to step up with donations to fund the team’s stay in Vancouver, which they did to the tune of $300,000. So… that means the Speedskating team’s official logo is “The Colbert Nation”, and it will be branded on their suits during the games.

Unfortunately for Canadians, all of this goodwill and patriotism has done a number on Colbert’s anti-Canada smack-talk. Time and time again on The Colbert Report, Colbert has hilariously ridiculed Canada as a whole, Canadians in general, and Vancouver in particular. It’s all in good fun, really. But some Canadians are talking Colbert’s “act” seriously.

While “The Colbert Report” is in repeats next week, the comedian will be in Vancouver for the first week of the Olympics. He’ll be there recording a wealth of material for his show (to air beginning Feb. 22), attending events, conducting interviews and doing a kind of half-show from a stage set up outside the Olympic centre.

“We’ll bring snow because I don’t think Vancouver has any,” he said in an interview, taking a swipe at the city’s sometimes watery precipitation.

Many Canadians have been put off by Colbert’s frequent mockery. As a pseudo pundit, Colbert likes to elevate the U.S. above all other countries, making the Olympics – which he calls a combination “talent popularity-contest war” – prime fodder for parodic patriotism.

He has called Canadians “syrup-suckers,” “Saskatche-whiners,” and said Canadian history is a euphemism for a sex act so depraved, he can’t say it on TV.

Colbert still jokes that he’s going to Vancouver to find out “What is Canada? Or more importantly, why is Canada?”

But now that foreign athletes have received more ice time, Colbert says, “I’ve forgiven Canada. . . . I’m there to celebrate Canada at this point.”

As part of an arrangement made with NBC and NBC Universal Sports Chairman Dick Ebersol (who recently appeared on “The Report”), Colbert will be allowed to film inside the Richmond Olympic Oval. In exchange, he will join Bob Costas for commentary Feb. 17 on NBC.

But for all of his satire, it’s clear Colbert has a genuine love of the Olympics.

“It’s a festival,” he says. “What a great, rare honour it’s been to be helpful in any way to these beautiful athletes. I’m really in awe of what they do and I want to be there to support them.”

[From The Canadian Press]

Aw, that’s sweet at the end. What kills me is that the real Colbert sounds like a truly sweet man. It’s just his Colbert persona that is hilariously obscene, ridiculous and insane. Oh, and they mentioned “that depraved sex act”… Colbert really did that, and it’s a killer bit. Here’s more:

Canada’s history is being rewritten — online, at least — in terms so crude, it could make any Canuck blush with a patriotic tinge. On his late-night TV show this week, satirist Stephen Colbert took aim at Canadian magazine the Beaver, which announced last month it was changing its moniker after 90 years because some search engines were weeding it out, believing it was pornography due to its name.

The Winnipeg-based publication is rebranding itself as the less suggestive Canada’s History, starting in April. But what Canadians don’t know, the comedian joked Thursday on The Colbert Report, is in America “Canada’s history” is a euphemism “for a sex act so depraved,” it can’t be described on television.

The unspeakable act, apparently, “involves moose antlers, a jug of maple syrup and the Stanley Cup.”

The comedian then invited his audience — often referenced as the Colbert Nation for their willingness to help with his pranks — to “redefine Canada’s history in the most jaw-dropping terms imaginable,” on urbandictionary.com,a Wikipedia-like webpage that allows users to submit definitions for words and slang.

“Just put everything in there,” said Colbert, who mockingly portrays a conservative pundit on his show. “Putting everything in there, by the way, is the hardest part of performing Canada’s history.”

Thirty-six hours later, there were 521 listed entries — each with increasingly vulgar descriptions that use more Canadian cliches than a Kids in the Hall skit.

In June 2008, when CBC announced it wouldn’t renew the contract for the Hockey Night in Canada theme song, Colbert declared “Bad move, Canada!” saying he would licence the iconic “Dunt-da DUNT-da-dunt” to be played while doing very “American” things.

“I’m going to play it when doing things like punching beavers in the face,” he quipped.

[From The Vancouver Sun]

Colbert is a deranged genius. Jesus, I love him. “Punching beavers in the face” should be made into a t-shirt. TEAM COLBERT.

Fairey poster courtesy of Gawker.

Patriotism is shown in all sorts of ways. Flying the flag, donating your time to a charity, or in Woody Harrelson’s case, shaving his head, with the help of Stephen Colbert. Watching this clip was the highlight of my month so far. Not that my month has been pathetic (okay it has, but irrelevant), but that this was so hysterically funny I actually thought I was going to choke.

It’s not funny simply because Stephen is shaving Woody’s head – though that’s still amusing. It’s because while Stephen’s shaving Woody’s head, they’re both singing the “Star Spangled Banner” – excellently. Harmony and melody done perfectly. I could only hear one minor imperfection at the very end. It was shocking. And all the while, Stephen is shaving Woody’s head, and doesn’t miss a beat or a hair.

Woody Harrelson appeared on the “Colbert Report” last night to promote his upcoming film “The Messenger.” The movie centers around an army officer tasked with delivering death notices to soldiers’ next of kin, and explores the psychological and physical toll of war. Harrelson, a pacifist, made clear that while he doesn’t support the war he wholeheartedly supports the troops. Colbert, who shaved his head while performing for the troops in Iraq, asked Harrelson if he too would go bald to show his support for our fighting men and women. “I wish there was more support to show,” Harrelson quipped as Colbert clipped.

[From the Huffington Post]

From what I gather, Woody isn’t visiting the troops. Colbert shaved his head when he went over to Iraq. Woody let Stephen shave his head just as a show of support – and let’s face it, some good TV. Frankly, if I only had as much hair as Woody does (did), I wouldn’t let anyone touch it unless I were actually planning to feel the desert heat. So big points for that. And who would have guessed both Stephen Colbert and Woody Harrelson have such lovely singing voices?

Here’s the clip, which is only viewable in the US.

I hope a lot of people stayed up last night to watch The Colbert Report, because it was totally worth it. Meryl Streep was Colbert’s guest, and he pretty much dropped his Faux’Reilly persona to totally geek out on her. In his defense, she geeked out a little on him too. Most of the interview she just sort of giggled girlishly – which, when done by Meryl, is quite charming. Meryl looked gorgeous too – she’s lightened her hair to a really pretty, warm caramel-blonde and she dressed up in what looked like a silk blouse and heels. She must really like Stephen Colbert, because Meryl doesn’t get dressed up for much anymore.

At the beginning of the interview, he jokes that he’s really “Meryl Streep playing Stephen Colbert for the whole show… I’m that good.” Colbert asks her if when she got the role of Julia Child, she thought, “Man, I get to bulk up!” Meryl says, “I kind of did, inadvertently… I looked at it like a pregnancy, you know, ‘Whatever!’ I could just eat whatever you want.” Colbert laughs and says, “Actually, saying ‘Whatever!’ is a great way to start a pregnancy.” They both tell funny stories about food and their childhoods, but one of my favorite moments is when Colbert asks Meryl, “Are you afraid that portraying Julia Child is going to make cooking seem cool? Are teenagers going to start having braising parties?” I also love when he scolds her for not being on more red carpets, asking why she isn’t partying with Kanye West.

Meryl also sat down with Salon for a nice little interview. Here are some of the highlights:

You’ve played plenty of real-life characters through the years, but rarely such a familiar person as Julia Child. Did that worry you? Did you worry about playing it too broadly — like Dan Aykroyd’s caricature on “SNL”?
Well, probably it should have. But I had just finished “Doubt” and didn’t have any time to think about it. And before “Doubt”… I didn’t have time to think about that. I think generally I’m better when I’m thrown out on the stage with a [mimes a confused look] “What, what, what do I do?” [Laughs] I really do. I think the more time you have to worry about something — actors that prepare for a year to work on something — I know I couldn’t do it, because I’d over-think. I would definitely over-think.

I just had the same outlines in my mind that everybody had. You know, the voice, the posture and things like that. But really, what I attached to in my imagination was her spirit. She was so similar in spirit and approach to life to my mother that I got to do a little tiny homage to Mary Streep while I was doing this. Which meant a lot to me and sort of located me centrally in a body I loved.

That’s interesting to know, because your performances are closely scrutinized for their potential influences. In “Manchurian Candidate” [2004] you said you’d watched women like Karen Hughes and Peggy Noonan, but a lot of people were convinced you were playing Hillary Clinton, and — I thought it was fascinating that people thought it was her. Because, honestly, I’d never thought about her for one second while I was doing it. But there was so much anti-Hillary vitriol in the press at that time that anybody with a bubble haircut — you know? Even though [my character Eleanor Shaw] was a brunette and from the South and looked like me! I think the women that are sort of driving, aggressive ambitious presences in films are still terrifying — and in life, I guess. It’s still something society is chafing to accommodate.

You had a famous quip in the 1990s about how difficult it was for older women to get good roles — that Hollywood producers don’t want to cast women who remind them of their first wives. Recently, you’ve said that you don’t think anything has changed dramatically. And yet you’re wildly in demand …
I don’t think they have changed dramatically, otherwise all the actors my age would be working as much as I am. And I think I have surfed a wave of very good fortune. I guess, starting with ["The Devil Wears Prada"] it has to do with the money coming back in big blockbusters. But if there were more female-driven, interesting projects that were widely distributed … That audience is there, they want to go.

You said recently that you’re still “shocked” when you get a role. Is that really true? Come on, you’re Meryl Streep!
Yeah. I don’t know, I think [pauses to consider] I’m a valuable commodity to a project. But I’m always shocked that there’s an interesting, full-fledged, ambitiously wrought role for somebody like me, that somebody’s willing to put in a movie, it’s unusual, that’s what I mean by shocked. I’m not shocked because … “Gosh, me? How do I know how to act?” [Laughs] But there’s so many unbelievably talented, richly talented women and men that are older, that just don’t get a chance.

[From Salon]

Does Meryl understand that she still gets roles because she’s the greatest living actress working today? That she’s every director’s first choice in casting a female character over the age of 50? Sigh. I love her. If I could have even 2% of Meryl’s coolness right now, at my age, I would be a happy camper.

Here’s Meryl Streep at the ‘Julie & Julia’ premiere at the Ziegfeld Theatre in New York City on July 30th. Images thanks to WENN.com .

Stephen Colbert is a rule-breaker, a maverick, a rebel. He’s been talking for months about his USO trip “to the Persian Gulf” and now it’s official – Stephen Colbert is in Iraq. He arrived on Friday, and he will become the first entertainer to broadcast a show from Iraq for a USO tour. Colbert and his team will film four episodes of “The Colbert Report” in front of a live audience of soldiers during this coming week, and Colbert will be doing meet-and-greets (and probably some stand-up, too, I would imagine) for the troops. Two of his already-announced guests are U.S. General Ray Odierno and Iraqi Deputy Prime Minister Barham Saleh. Before he left, Colbert asked, “The USO counts this as military service, right? I might want to run for office some day.” The Huffington Post sat Colbert down for a surprisingly serious interview before he left, and Colbert talked very convincingly about why he decided to make the trip:

Stephen Colbert will broadcast four shows next week from Baghdad, where he says he’ll be “Bob Hoping” it for the troops.

Colbert arrived at the former Al Faw Palace at Camp Victory on Friday. For weeks, he’s promoted the trip on Comedy Central “The Colbert Report,” but because the military urged caution, he has only trumpeted a vague trip to “the Persian Gulf.”

The series of shows, each to be taped in front of an audience of about 450 troops, have been dubbed “Operation Iraqi Stephen: Going Commando.” It’s the first time anyone has broadcast from Iraq for a USO tour.

Though Colbert has often infused his mock pundit character into real events _ the 2008 election, the 2006 White House Correspondents’ Association dinner _ his Iraq trip isn’t a parody.

Both the character Colbert (silent “t”) and the real Colbert (pronounced “t”), a Catholic family man, are ardent supporters of the troops. He has raised hundreds of thousands of dollars for the Yellow Ribbon Fund (a charity that assists injured service members and their families), and he’s a board member of DonorsChoose.org, which is raising money for the education of children of parents in the military.

“Sometimes my character and I agree,” Colbert said in an interview at his Manhattan office before leaving for Baghdad. “My character and I both know the Apostles’ Creed and my character and I both think it’s a shame that we’re not talking about the troops anymore.”

The trip came about when former Assistant Secretary of Defense Bing West suggested it after an interview last July on “The Colbert Report.”

“He gave me this big ol’ manly handshake and said, `If Gen. Petraeus invited you to do your show from Iraq, would you do it?’” recalled Colbert. “And I thought, `Oh, an improviser would say yes without thinking.’”

Colbert was in the midst of the hectic presidential campaign coverage, but once the election passed, he checked back on the invitation – this time with Gen. Raymond Odierno, the current commander of the forces in Iraq.

After months of planning, “The Colbert Report” is sending about 30 production staff (a third of the show’s regular staff) to Iraq. The production restraints are steep, but Colbert is planning to do four shows, which will air Monday through Thursday next week at 11:30 p.m. EDT.

Colbert prepared for the trip by visiting Fort Jackson, S.C., for a very abbreviated basic training. He also drew on help from Tom Hanks to gather care packages for the troops. Guests on the shows will include Odierno and Barham Saleh, the deputy prime minister of Iraq.

Does he expect a tough crowd?

“I don’t know,” said Colbert. “It’s got both things going for it. One is, they’re hungry for entertainment. But also, they have a whole vocabulary of existence that I haven’t experienced yet.”

The shows’ theme will be the declining attention paid to the war in Iraq. Colbert says he was spurred to make the trip when he noticed economic news coverage eclipsing reports from Baghdad.

Colbert said he feels a “special guilt” and responsibility to keep the soldiers’ story alive because of the political nature of his program. The comedian is also guest editing next week’s issue of Newsweek magazine. (A mock-up sits on his desk with the question “Remember Iraq?” splashed across the cover.)

“I don’t want to forget that people are struggling through the things that I sometimes make jokes about,” he said.

The 45-year-old comedian says he’s not afraid of the danger of visiting Iraq (“I’m not a high value target”). Instead, he said he’s only nervous about doing a good show for the troops.

“The show is always about me, it’s always about the character,” said Colbert. “What’s different about this is, it’s really about them. If they laugh, I’ll be completely satisfied.”

[From Huffington Post]

Colbert is such a sweetheart. I remember in 2007, The Daily Show sent “special correspondent” Rob Riggle (who is actually a Marine reservist and a veteran of Kosovo, Liberia and Afghanistan) to Iraq, and those were some of the best bits TDS has ever had. So will the troops get all of Colbert’s satirical humor? I bet they’ll simply be so thrilled that someone cool came to visit them, that his comedy might even be secondary.

Colbert is shown in the header outside The Late Show on 11/20/08 and at the Primetime Emmy Awards on 9/20/08. Credit: WENN.com.

Stephen Colbert has the best of both political worlds, a new study shows. Liberals watch The Colbert Report for Colbert’s hilarious, satirical, almost performance-art persona of a conservative blowhard. Conservatives watch The Colbert Report because they think Colbert isn’t joking. This is what a study out of Ohio State University has found (story via Huffington Post). Fortunately for Colbert, both liberals and conservatives find him funny. But this means when Colbert is openly mocking Glen Beck, “applauding” Beck for his insanity, conservatives think Colbert is on Beck’s side. It’s almost as if conservatives are not genetically programmed with the “satire gene” – in addition to lacking the “irony gene”.

Last week, Stephen Colbert revisited a segment he had done on Florida Representative Billy Posey, who sponsored a bill that “would require future presidential candidates to provide a copy of their original birth certificate,” in order to put insane rumors of President Barack Obama’s birthplace to bed.

Colbert thought a similar measure should be taken to end the whisperings that Posey was a human-alligator hybrid. Posey, in response to Colbert, said, “I expected there would be some civil debate about it, but it wasn’t civil…There is no reason to say that I’m the illegitimate grandson of an alligator.” And one wondered, “Does Posey not realize that Colbert is not speaking in earnest? His reaction seems uniquely stupid!”

Stupid, yes. But apparently it’s not unique at all, according to a study from The Ohio State University, which proves, with math and stuff, that lots of conservatives seem to not understand the intrinsic, underlying joke of The Colbert Report:

“This study investigated biased message processing of political satire in The Colbert Report and the influence of political ideology on perceptions of Stephen Colbert. Results indicate that political ideology influences biased processing of ambiguous political messages and source in late-night comedy. Using data from an experiment (N = 332), we found that individual-level political ideology significantly predicted perceptions of Colbert’s political ideology. Additionally, there was no significant difference between the groups in thinking Colbert was funny, but conservatives were more likely to report that Colbert only pretends to be joking and genuinely meant what he said while liberals were more likely to report that Colbert used satire and was not serious when offering political statements. Conservatism also significantly predicted perceptions that Colbert disliked liberalism. Finally, a post hoc analysis revealed that perceptions of Colbert’s political opinions fully mediated the relationship between political ideology and individual-level opinion.”

I think a lot of conservatives are going to pissed when they realize that Stephen Colbert’s performance at the 2006 White House Correspondents’ Dinner was not, in fact, an awkward and ineffective attempt to praise President George W. Bush, but actually a bitter and satiric criticism of his incompetence!

From The Huffington Post

I loved when Colbert started that rumor about the congressman having descended from an alligator. That was one of Colbert’s funniest bits all year. Here’s one thing I’ll give conservatives, though: Colbert is probably more conservative in his private life than most liberals want to acknowledge. He’s a devout Catholic, Sunday school teacher and family man – not that those qualities reflect his politics, but I’d bet Colbert has voted Republican a few times in his life.

NASA has given Stephen Colbert the big, cold, hard shaft. Colbert, with the considerable help of “The Colbert Nation”, won NASA’s International Space Station node-naming contest fair and square, but NASA isn’t going to name the node after him. An astronaut, Sunita Williams, came on The Colbert Report Tuesday night to tell Colbert of the compromise NASA worked out.

Williams told Colbert that he will have a space treadmill named after him instead of the new node. The treadmill’s name is an acronym – the Combined Operational Load Bearing External Resistance Treadmill. The new node will be called Tranquility, the obvious second choice of “the people”. Colbert seemed happy with the compromise, though, saying, “I think a treadmill is better than a node … because the node is just a box for the treadmill.” CNN has more:

What do you do when you’re NASA and comedian Stephen Colbert wins your contest to name the new wing for the International Space Station? You name an orbital exercise machine after him.

The Combined Operational Load Bearing External Resistance Treadmill, or COLBERT, is expected to keep astronauts in shape. With the help of a legion of fans, Colbert got the most votes in the space agency’s online poll soliciting names for Node 3, which will be called Tranquility after the Sea of Tranquility, where Apollo 11 landed on the moon.

Astronaut Sunita “Suni” Williams revealed NASA’s decision on “The Colbert Report,” which aired on Comedy Central on Tuesday.

“Your name will be in space, in a very important place,” Williams said as Colbert reacted in mock disgust to her announcement of the node’s new name.

“I think a treadmill is better than a node … because the node is just a box for the treadmill,” Colbert deadpanned. “Nobody says, ‘Hey, my mom bought me a Nike box.’ They want the shoes that are inside.”

Colbert’s campaign generated welcome attention for the oft-forgotten International Space Station, but it also presented a dilemma for NASA. The contest rules spelled out that NASA reserves the right to “ultimately select a name in accordance with the best interests of the agency. … Such name may not necessarily be one which is on the list of voted-on candidate names.”

The runner-up name to Stephen Colbert was Serenity, which was more in line with the names of the other nodes. Harmony, the name given Node 2, was chosen by a poll of kindergartners in 2007. The publicity caused by Colbert’s interest in Node 3 turned out well for the space agency.

“This spread overall awareness of the International Space Station,” said Bill Gerstenmaier, NASA’s associate administrator for Space Operations, who has appeared on Colbert’s show. NASA changed its plan to announce the new name at the end of April at the Kennedy Space Center in Florida when Colbert’s producers invited them to do it on their show, the space agency said.

Pennsylvania Congressman Chaka Fattah, who stepped in the naming fray in March, when he said Colbert had won the naming contest fair and square, called the decision a good compromise.

It’s “one small step for NASA and a giant step for the Colbert nation,” the congressman said, playing off Neil Armstrong’s line when he first set foot on the moon in 1969.

[From CNN]

I really don’t understand why NASA couldn’t name the damn node after Colbert. What’s the big deal? He earned it, by bringing renewed interest to the space program, plus he won the online contest. Not only that, but a respected congressman had Colbert’s back! Colbert could have fought long and hard!

Even though Colbert plays the arrogant jerk, he really acted like a gentleman by accepting NASA’s compromise. He could have easily stuck it out and shamed NASA into naming the node after him. Although it is pretty cool that NASA came up with a new, fancy acronym for the space treadmill. NASA should market that treadmill to civilians – I would love to work out on the COLBERT.

Here’s Stephen Colbert in New York in 2007. Images thanks to WENN.com .

It’s still unknown whether NASA will honor the people’s wishes and actually name the new part of their space station after Stephen Colbert. Colbert lead in the online poll by hundreds of thousands of votes, but even as voting ended on Friday, NASA still didn’t acknowledge it. Perhaps they’re just waiting to announce it on The Colbert Report? That would be just one more amazing move for Colbert, who has had everything from an eagle, a spider, an elephant seal, a falcon, a bridge, a turtle, a park, a mascot, a plane and a Ben and Jerry’s ice cream flavor named after him.

This latest cute story is about one of those namesakes. In 2007, the San Jose City Hall staff installed a “falcon cam” to monitor the falcons who nest atop the San Jose City Hall. At first, they were monitoring a falcon named Clara and her lover Jose Fernando. Previously, Clara was with Carlos, until he flew the coop last year. After that, Clara was being wooed by a new man.

The residents of San Jose decided to name Clara’s new falcon partner “Esteban Colbert”. Esteban and Clara have a real love connection, and Clara just laid her fourth egg of the 2009 falcon season. So there’s good news in the Colbert household this week – Stephen Colbert just became the proud grandfather to a fourth falcon grandchild! MSNBC has more:

Faux TV-News anchor Stephen Colbert can crow about a fourth grandchild that has been appeared atop San Jose City Hall.

Sometime between noon and 2:40 p.m. on Thursday, San Jose City Hall’s falcon mom Clara laid her fourth egg of the 2009 falcon season.

The father? A prolific dad named after Colbert.

South Bay falcon fans dubbed the newest male peregrine falcon living atop San Jose City Hall “Esteban Colbert” after the star of “The Colbert Report.”

The San Jose City Hall Peregrine Falcons became reality show superstars more than two years ago when staff opened up the birds’ rooftop nesting box to worldwide viewers of the FalconCam.

In the third “season” of her ongoing reality show, falcon mother Clara hooked up with Esteban.

Clara has quite a history with the males.

As it became apparent that last year’s tiercel (male falcon) Carlos was not returning for a second season, falcon fans have been watching the FalconCam to see if a new beau would attempt to woo Clara.

Colbert’s namesake fit the bill.

Clara had three chicks in 2008 with a male named Carlos, while the previous year she and her first mate Jose Fernando had three as well.

Peregrine Falcons, regarded as the fastest animal in the world with a recorded speed of up to 240 mph, had only two mating pairs remaining in the California wild in 1970.

Today, due in large part to extraordinary conservation work by the UC Santa Cruz Predatory Bird Research Group, there are more than 250 nesting pairs, including those at San Jose City Hall.

The FalconCam can be viewed online on the City of San Jose Web site or on the Santa Cruz Predatory Bird Research Group Web site.

[From MSNBC]

I just thought this was a cute story, and you know Colbert will love all of his falcon grandbabies equally. Esteban has done his “dad” proud!

Last week, Colbert announced that he (and The Colbert Report) had been invited to entertain the troops through the USO. No one’s said “Iraq” yet, I suppose because they don’t want to announce Colbert’s whereabouts in advance. Still, Iraq is my bet. I don’t see Colbert traveling all that way just to do four shows in Kuwait.

According to All Headline News, “Colbert will showcase an exclusive behind-the-scenes making of “The Colbert Report.” As if the funny man’s visit will not be landmark enough, the telecast will be the “first show in USO history to film multiple episodes in a combat zone,” according a press release posted on the USO website. When Colbert announced his trip, he joked, “I’m taking my show to the Persian Gulf. If there was any hope of peace in the Middle East, you can forget it now.”