If I were a parent, I could think of few things I would find more terrifying than the prospect of Pete Doherty ever getting near any of my children. Or my pets. Or my houseplants. Really, the thought of Pete anywhere near anything living is just too much for me to handle.

Singer Sting has reportedly hit the roof over news that his 17-year-old daughter Coco has been hanging out with Pete. A lot. Some of it has been in the studio (Coco is working on her debut CD), but the two spent a good deal of time together in a tent at the Glastonbury music festival last weekend – much to Sting’s chagrin.

The Police frontman reportedly went through the roof when it emerged 17-year-old Coco was within spitting distance of the celebrated junkie. A fellow Glastonbury festival-goer spotted the Babyshambles singer, 29, lying down in Coco’s tent at the music festival.

Pete and Coco Sumner’s friendship is blossoming after they met at a Soho jazz bar in London, and Pete has been helping her develop her songwriting and guitar skills. But the news that they were together at Glastonbury, where Pete played a solo set, seems to have been a step too far for Sting.

The onlooker said: ‘I was standing next to Coco’s tent after Pete had played his set, and one of her friends went to check on her. She unzipped the door, and Pete was lying outstretched in her tent. He looked very comfortable and was smoking something - the tent was full of smoke but it was impossible to tell what it was. He seemed pretty out of it, though.

‘Coco’s father isn’t too happy about her hanging around Pete because of his reputation, and hit the roof when he heard he had stayed in her tent.’

The source added: ‘Coco has definitely inherited her dad’s vocal skills and Pete has been raving about her talent. It’s pretty clear he has the hots for her too, which will only worry her dad more.’ While 56-year-old Sting, real name Gordon, and mum Trudy Styler, 53, will be pleased she is getting musical input from someone-as talented as Pete, we bet they hope that’s the only input he’s having. Otherwise Pete might quickly learn what Sting was singing about in The Police’s 1983 hit King Of Pain.

[From the Daily Mail]

I’m glad Sting freaked out. Any parent that would be okay with their 17-year-old hanging out with Pete Doherty shouldn’t be allowed to have kids. Just looking at the guy, I’m afraid bugs would jump off of him. And really, that’s the kindest thing I can say. I really don’t think he should be allowed to come closer than 10 feet to anyone. I cannot even imagine how many communicable diseases that man is carrying.

I know Doherty supposedly has oodles of talent, but if I were Coco’s parents, that wouldn’t even come close to canceling out all the bad he can potentially do. I’d suggest they make Coco shower three times a day, just to be safe. I’ve heard soap is like kryptonite to Pete Doherty.

Here’s Coco Sumner, Pete Doherty and Sam Shaker playing at Jazz After Dark in London on May 29th. Photographer: ydimage.com. Images thanks to WENN.

Sting and his wife Trudie Styler have a charity they run, the Rainforest Foundation, where they raise money to plant trees. But it seems that in the way of charitable donations, they’re running a little below the average. Trudie doesn’t think much of the criticism.

Newspaper reports claimed only 41 per cent of the funds raised at a starstudded concert at New York’s Carnegie Hall were spent on saving trees.

The New York Post also claimed the Rainforest Foundation was rated one of the worst causes by watchdog Charity Navigator.

Charity co-founder, Belgian photographer Jean Pierre Dutilleux, recently joined the attack and is quoted on blog PerezHilton.com as saying, “I have kept quiet for almost 20 years, hoping for improvement. But enough is enough.

Everything is true or worse.” But Styler has hit back at the reports, claiming the figures are misleading.
She says, “The Rainforest Foundation is celebrating its 20th year. We wouldn’t still be in business or have given out millions of dollars over the years if we’d spent everything we made immediately after it came in.”

PR Inside

Sure, you might have given millions of dollars to charity, but if you’ve raised over twice that, taken money from people that expect all of their donation to go to the cause, then all of it should go to the cause. 41% is not a great deal of money to make it into the fund, around 75% is the average for a charitable event.

Also, if members of your own organization are leaving after 20 years of loyal service to complain about the financial management of the charity, you know something fishy is going on.

Then again, any money that goes to helping protect and maintain the rainforest is going to help the rapidly warming globe.

The Rainforest Foundation concert takes place in New York this month, with Brian Wilson, Billy Joel and James Taylor headlining.

Sting and Trudie Styler are shown outside Scotts restaurant in London on 3/20/08, thanks to WENN.

I remember as a child the Duchess of York Sarah Ferguson being embroiled in a toe sucking scandal, and thinking, “ew, gross, why would you want to suck on someone’s toe?” This is mostly because I myself have disgusting feet, and in Australia it is freakin’ hot so your feet are all sweaty, which is why it surprised me to see these pictures of Sting licking his wife’s feet during a Sydney summer.

Docked in Sydney harbour on a hired yacht costing £17,500 a day, Sting gently raised Trudie Styler’s left leg to his mouth - and sucked her toes.

The Police singer, whose personal life has been surrounded by rumours of tantric sex and swingers’ parties, also found time to massage her feet as she reclined on a sunlounger.

Daily Mail

Now the Tantric sex and swinging I can understand, but licking feet in the hot Aussie summer is gross. That’s probably why he stopped licking and started massaging her feet instead.

Nicollette Sheridan is also involved in a little toe love - sucking on fiance Michael Bolton’s toes. Check out the pictures if you can stomach it.

Why do we indulge in these public displays of affection? Do feet taste good after being in salty beach water? Do other people not find feet gross? Since I’m on living in the heat right now (it’s 43 degrees celsius, or 109 Fahrenheit today) my feet are pretty manky and sweaty. I asked my husband if he fancied a little toe sucking, but he declined.

Picture note by Celebitchy: Here are Nicollette Sheridan and Michael Bolton in St. Barts on 12/27 and 12/28, thanks to Splash News.

Oversexed singer Sting found a way to calm down the panicking passengers on a hotel elevator that broke down mid-ride, trapping eight people including him and three of his employees for 20 minutes. At first he was understandably freaked out when the elevator ground to a halt and kept saying he’d be late to his concert. He soon used his superhuman meditation skills to chill the f out and got everyone else to join him chanting cross-legged. I was hoping this story would end in a group orgasm, but maybe an intense calming experience and greater spiritual awareness is better and less skeevy than that:

Leaving Rio de Janeiro’s Copacabana Palace Hotel for a concert, [Sting] and three of his entorouage entered the lift, joining four guests already aboard - but seconds after the doors slid shut, the elevator jerked violently and stopped dead! Everyone got panicky, one guy yelled for help on the elevator phone and Sting, extremely agitated at first, kept looking at his watch and complaining he’d be late for the concert - but then he abruptly composed himself, dropped to the floor in a cross-legged yoga posture and began deep-breathing and meditation chants. In moments, everyone chilled like Swami Sting until their rescue 20 minutes later.

[From The National Enquirer, print edition, Mike Walker’s column, December 31, 2007]

I could see this happening, especially if there were three other people on the elevator that worked with Sting and would be quick to meditate with him. If half the people on the elevator including Sting were chanting I could see myself joining in. If it was just some random guy doing it alone I would probably remain standing with my arms crossed and try not to laugh. I need to be more mature about meditation, and I’ve done yoga but chanting in an elevator just seems odd to me.

Instead of meditating, Sting could have told the other trapped passengers riveting stories about his past exploits, or even broke out singing. A little entertainment would have made the time pass much quicker.

Sting and his wife Trudie Styler are shown out to dinner in Buenos Aires on 12/4/07, thanks to Splash News.

I thought we should start today off with a list of celebrities that aren’t pregnant. Helen Mirren, Meryl Streep, and Angela Lansbury are not pregnant. All other Hollywood wombs have most likely been fertilized at this point. So instead of talking more about babies (believe me, that’ll happen in the next few hours) Sting and wife Trudie Styler are talking about how babies get made. They do that a lot. The couple has infamously shared (and sometimes overshared) all the details of their sexual romps. They enjoy legendary, epic, tantric sex. They like swingers’ parties, swapping partners, and strip clubs. I’m pretty sure they once did immoral things with a goat. Okay that’s not true, I’m just trying to start a rumor. But they’re open, non-judgmental people when it comes to sexuality, so in terms of goat-loving, I’m putting my money on the Stings.

Trudie and Sting recently opened their Manhattan home to a newspaper, which focused on their tantric “love nest” (their words, NOT mine).

The centerpiece of the 18-room apartment overlooking Central Park is an extraordinary scarlet bedroom embroidered in gold and dominated by two explicit Helmut Newton prints. In one, an unidentified woman lays virtually naked, with her legs spread in the back of a vintage Mercedes as a man leans over from the front seat to unzip one of her spike-heeled boots. The other image, above the bed head, shows the lower half of another female wearing just stockings, suspenders and high heels.

Miss Styler, 53, who once told a U.S. DJ that the couple enjoyed swingers’ parties, before apparently retracting the claim, said of the room: “I find it hot.” She also curiously went on to admit that her son Giacomo once wanted to know if the photo of the almost nude, sprawled-out woman was his mother or sister. She told him it was neither.

[From the Daily Mail]

Um, ew! Holy disgusting! Not the art [you can see the pictures here – I think it’s pretty tame] but that Trudie would share that story about her son. I guess embarrassing is a better word than ew. Giacomo is 12, and kids that age are still sorting sexuality out. Alright let’s be fair, people twice his age are still sorting sexuality out. But at 12 it makes sense that he could be confused by the image. What doesn’t make sense is that Trudie Styler would pass that on. Imagine that embarrassing photo of you naked in the bathtub at age 4. You know, the one your parents are always parading around for everyone to see. Now imagine you’re 12. And your mom shares it with the whole world. You’d be pretty mortified, right? I just hope that poor Giacomo can laugh it off in a few years. Or at least punish Trudie with years of uncomfortable silence.

Sting, the tantric love master, apparently sometimes only has sex for an hour. It seems he has been caught leaving a strip club, which various papers are calling a ‘gentlemen’s club’, ‘brothel’ or a ‘massage parlour’. I did try to find a website for the club, named Relax, but I can’t read German so not really sure what the club offers exactly.

Advertised as a ’strip club’ but renowned for its more elaborate offerings, the venue boasts a swimming pool, whirlpool bath and “steamy” sauna.

“What he did inside is unclear,” the report stated.

“At the bar each night sit up to 40 ladies, fulfilling the wishes of the guests.”

Although photos of the 55-year-old’s escapade were splashed all over the front page of Hamburg’s tabloids, the exposé was not news to Sting’s wife, Trudie Styler.

Ms Styler, mother to four of his Sting’s six children reportedly said during an interview in 2004 that she and her husband had in visited sex clubs and played up at swinger’s parties. Although both have claimed to enjoy an open relationship, Ms Styler later retracted the claims, saying she had been joking.

ninemsn.com.au

Trudie Styler has in the past given an infamous interview with Howard Stern about her sex life with Sting, and he has talked about their tantric sex life. He’s then avoided confirming whether he or she was kidding. I think they find it all a bit of a joke to play on journalists, as they seem to change their minds about what goes on all the time.

Sting’s publicist seems to be in on the marital sex life joke, issuing this statement:

“Sting and his wife have always been open about their interest in strip clubs.”

Cleveland Leader

Well, I guess if you have that kind of arrangement privately with your wife, that’s okay. Unfortunately Sting can’t really get away with it privately! The Police have been touring Europe the last few weeks, and I have to say, I’d much rather my partner was in brothels than in groupies…Prostitutes are strict on condom use I hear.

Picture note by Celebitchy: Sting is shown performing in Hamburg on 9/11/07. Thanks to PRPhotos.

Sting’s wife, Trudie Styler, was at her son’s 21st birthday party at an exclusive nightclub in London, and had the brilliant idea to pop in the graphic video of her giving birth to him:

How fucking clueless do you have to be to think it’s a good idea to show a birth video at your son’s 21st birthday party? That’s completely insane and utterly humiliating. What a dumb excuse she gave - he’s a film producer. She could have screened some home movies and everyone would have been cooing. Instead she picked the most embarassing subject behind showing the conception video. Way to ruin your son’s party.

No wonder Sting is addicted to strippers - his wife is crazy! She may be up to anything in the bedroom, but when you factor in her complete lack of common sense she must quite difficult to tolerate.

Here are Sting and Trudie at the “Louis Vuitton art talks” at the National Gallery in London on 5/25 and in Cannes. Sting looks like he barely puts up with her.

Sting and his wife, Trudie Styler, performed in a one-night-only theater benefit for Broadway Cares/Equity Fights AIDS at the The New Victory Theater in NY last night. Sting and Trudie read and performed “the most intimate words, music, and shared passions of the extraordinary composers and lovers Robert and Clara Schumann.”

Sting looked like his mind was elsewhere as he posed with his wife at the event. With the news that he’s opening a strip club with David Bowie and is keen to get invited to high-class sex parties, you can bet their relationship is less than stable.

Four more pictures after the jump.

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Sting is opening a strip joint in NYC and can finally put those rumors that he’s stripper-obsessed to rest. He was just doing research for his new business venture, and the fact that he insisted that dancers keep their clothes on during lap dances bolsters his excuse. Bowie will be able to get his rocks off without guilt, too:

You go, Sting. Guess those threesomes with Trudie were getting old.

Sting and his wife, Trudie Styler, will perform in a one-night-only theater benefit for Broadway Cares/Equity Fights AIDS at the The New Victory Theater in New York City on March 27:

It’s an expensive affair, with the cheapest tickets going for $250, but it’s for a good cause and is tax deductible.

Sting and Trudie are pictured above at a March 3 Chanel fashion show, where the famous couple was more interesting than the models: