The National Enquirer’s cover story this week is “Angelina Jolie’s Suicide Attempt” but please don’t be fooled. Through the course of a dozen sentences, the Enquirer reveals that Angelina’s “suicide attempt” was basically ordering Brad to come home when he was away for a few days. She didn’t even say “I’m going to kill myself” according to the Enquirer, so I fail to see how this was even a “cry for help”. Unless Angelina is so friggin’ powerful that she only thinks the word “suicide” and magically, a baby dove flies in with a bottle of sleeping pills. I swear, I’m not trying to make light of genuine suicide attempts – I’m only pointing out that the Enquirer’s ridiculous cover and story is the real mockery of a serious topic.

After falling into a deep depression, Angelina Jolie attempted suicide!

And now Brad Pitt has sprung into action to make sure the mother of his children doesn’t try taking her life again, sources tell The ENQUIRER.

The sultry brunette beauty confessed to Brad that she was afraid her suicidal tendencies would return after learning that he’d made plans to move out on his own, according to insiders.

But the big-screen hunk assured her the separation would be temporary, and their love would survive the split, sources say.

“Brad was in France checking on their chateau recently, and Angelina was in Los Angeles with the kids when she called him in a panic,” a friend divulged.

“She told him, ‘When you’re not around, I get these terrible feelings. I got the same feelings when I was younger, and that’s when I tried to kill myself.’

“Angelina said, ‘I feel lost without you – like I’m being abandoned.’”

But Brad, 46, immediately reassured the high-strung Angelina that he wasn’t leaving her for good, even though he’ll be living apart from her and their six children while they work on separate movie projects, the friend revealed.

“Brad quickly calmed Angelina down.

“I’ll always be there for you and the kids. I promise.’”

Angelina’s cry for help stunned those close to her, especially Brad.

For THE FULL STORY with all the details of Angie’s suicidal tendencies, her “dark passenger” and why she’s so desperate to maintain her sanity in the wake of mounting genealogical fear = Pick up the new ENQUIRER on sale now!

[From The National Enquirer]

“Mounting genealogical fear”? Err… what? Are they referring to Angelina’s fears that she’s get ovarian cancer like her mom (in which case, she simply start getting screened right now, which would be a far more interesting and educational story), or are they making some weird reference to Angelina trying to get pregnant again? Like, Angelina has a “mounting genealogical fear” that she won’t be able to get pregnant again? I swear, even though the Enquirer gets it right sometimes, there are other times when I think the writers are just doing stories based on Mad Libs.

Oh, and one more piece of Jolie news: she was named by the Guiness Book of World Records as the “most powerful actress” of the decade. Johnny Depp was named the most powerful actor. I can’t wait to see the two “most powerful” actors nail each other in a shower.

Enquirer image courtesy of Enquirer online.

Peaches Geldof is a dimwit and so are the fools she hangs out with. The 20 year-old divorcee and daughter of Bob Geldof and the late Paula Yates could have easily been killed in a car accident outside Disneyland in California. Peaches went on twitter as a passenger in a car to send a message about how fast her friend was driving with a car full of people. When they got in an accident that could have been fatal to any of the six people in the car or any other driver on the highway, Peaches tweeted that she was with the “DGAF” [Don't give a f-] crew. This is apparently what they called themselves before the accident. Her friend, the driver, took to Twitter to say her foot slipped on the gas pedal and to claim that the accident wasn’t her fault. Luckily no one was hurt, but the kids obviously didn’t learn their lesson and are getting a huge kick out of both the accident and the attention they’re getting. The driver also tweeted “lol @death.” Nice.

She then kept her fans informed: ‘Just actually experienced a full on car carsh (sic) with the IDGAF crew. Wow, I guess we really don’t GAF.’

Peaches refers to her friends as the I Don’t Give A F*** crew.

Peaches Geldof narrowly escaped serious injury after being involved in a ‘full on car crash’ last night.

The socialite was on her way to Disney World in California with four friends when the driver’s foot slipped on the pedals, sending the car out of control and into a 360 degree spin on the freeway.

Only minutes before the 20-year-old had boasted on Twitter that she was: ‘Speeding like I have never, ever witnessed before on the freeway – feel like I’m in a scary car chase video game.’

She quoted her female friend, who had been driving the car, as saying: ‘I was just trying to get us all to Disney on f****** time!

‘My creeper slipped on the pedals! Its not my fault!’

The driver then Twittered that she had ‘almost killed’ Peaches and her three other passengers.

But it appeared that despite her joking tone, Peaches had been left upset by the accident.

She Twittered: ‘Honestly can’t believe were alive after that.

‘And that the front of the car is totally f***** up and yet were still carrying on to Disney!?’

Another friend in the car, A J English, posted a photo of the damaged vehicle, which had a crushed bonnet and smashed bumper.

‘This is all that happened after a full 360 across three lanes of freeway traffic!?’ he wrote.

Another passenger added that ‘the front of the car is all mangled and smoking maybe we can use it as a barbie?’

The driver also seemed surprised that they had escaped unharmed, Tweeting: ‘Lol @ death.’

[From The Daily Mail]

To keep us further informed about what a careless twit she is, Peaches posted photos of her “IDAF” crew at Disneyland afterwards. One of her “IDGAF” friends posted the picture below of the wrecked car. The driver, who goes by the name “The Death Queen” on Twitter, is posting crap like “I’m on my way to becoming a famous murderer” and “How can I outdeath myself?” Meanwhile Peaches and her friends are marveling at the fact that “Dead Man’s Party” by Oingo Boingo was playing on the radio when they got in the accident. What would they have tweeted if someone died? “OMG we really GAF now, @DeathQueen died!”

Here are some pictures of Peaches outside clubs in Hollywood on 12/15 and 12/16. In case you don’t know who she is… nevermind you’re better off. Credit: WENN.com

Good Lord, is Evan Rachel Wood deranged? Coming straight from the horse’s (ass) mouth, Marilyn Manson confirms that he and ERW are back together. For a brief recap, back in late 2006/early 2007, ERW may have broken up Manson’s marriage to Dita Von Teese, or maybe he just left Dita and started up with ERW very quickly – the timeline is sketchy. Anyway, they began dating, and it was wrong.

ERW, then 18 years old, tried to become a little Dita clone and she and Manson had a famously dysfunctional and gross relationship. Then, in late 2008, ERW dumped him. Then she took him back a few months later. Then they broke up again, and Manson said he “made the mistake of trying to, desperately, grasp on and save that and own it. And every time I called her that day — I called 158 times — I took a razorblade and I cut myself on my face or on my hands…I have fantasies every day about smashing her skull in with a sledgehammer.” After that, ERW dated other guys, like Shane West and Alexander Skarsgard. For the love of God, she went from Skarsgard back to Manson! GAH!

Marilyn Manson has reunited with actress Evan Rachel Wood (The Wrestler, Across The Universe), after splitting very acrimoniously with her last year.

Manson revealed he and Wood had reunited in an interview with Metal Hammer magazine, when he was asked how he keeps going despite continually being in dark places in his life.

“I think I’m not afraid to be me,” he told the magazine. “Sometimes [it] happens when you get to this point in your career, and there are so many things that have happened and influences that you’ve had, besides the influences of the things that have inspired you.”

“Sometimes you feel awkward being what you’re best at, you feel like you have to be something new. But I think that a lot of people will agree that me being me at my best [is what] I need to be. I think that really paid off because I’m back with Evan, that’s kind of breaking news, you can be the first one to say that.”

Manson also says he and his band of the same name are free from their contract with Interscope after having released their seventh studio album, The High End Of Low, in May.

“We’ve just been released from our record contract with Interscope so I think a lot of the creative control on which my hands were tied on a lot of choices — the music videos — things like that,” he said, when asked what was new in his life. “And the first example is the newest video, they clearly wouldn’t have allowed me to make that video.”

Manson was referring to the recently released clip for “Running To The Edge Of The World,” in which he murders a woman. When the video came out last month, many media outlets pointed out the woman resembled Wood.

Manson says being free of his contract also liberalizes how he’ll record in the future.

“We started writing new songs on the road — a bit like [David Bowie's] Aladdin Sane — I think people can expect a new record a lot sooner than we [expected].”

[From Chart Attack]

Jesus. I get a headache just reading his words. I don’t know how I’d be able to function if I actually had to spend some time with him, much less… heave… have sex with him. What the hell does Manson have on her? Does he have some kind of hold? Is sex that great with him? Why isn’t ERW able to cut her losses and get the hell away from him? Granted, I’m not her biggest fan, but even I feel for the girl when she’s with Manson.

Older photos of ERW and MM on April 20 and 22, 2007, in Germany. Credit: WENN

Here are new pictures of Rihanna club-hopping in London’s natural state of inclement weather. According to the photographers, there was an unfortunate incident with Rihanna and an unbrella-ella-ella-eh-eh. Yeah… some guy just whipped out his umbrella, and a gust of wind turned it inside and out, and Rihanna thought it was hysterical. That’s about it. Honestly, I find her Working Girl-esque shoulder pads to be more newsworthy. What’s up, Tess McGill?

Anyhoodle, Rihanna was interviewed on Hot 97 the other day, and she was asked about those nude cell phone pics of her going around in May of this year. Rihanna confirmed that the pics were of her, and that she sent them to an ex-boyfriend. She also said the pics were “hot” and that she doesn’t feel ashamed about it: “If you don’t send your boyfriend naked pictures, then I feel bad for him.” Oh, no… Rihanna, no!

R&B singer Rihanna has said the “humiliating” leak of naked photographs of her was “the worst thing that could possibly ever happen to me”.

The star told US radio station Hot 97 she had originally sent the pictures, which appeared online earlier this year, to an ex-boyfriend. But she defended the initial decision to take the photographs, which she described as “hot”.

“If you don’t send your boyfriend naked pictures, then I feel bad for him.”

The 21-year-old singer has had a rough year, after being assaulted by former boyfriend Chris Brown in February. Brown, himself an R&B singer, was sentenced to five years’ probation for assaulting Rihanna in August. He has since apologised to fans for his actions.

The naked pictures of Rihanna appeared on the internet in May.

“I just felt like my whole privacy was taken before that and then, when that came out, I thought, ‘oh great, so now there’s nothing they don’t know about me and my private life’,” Rihanna told Hot 97.

“It was humiliating and it was embarrassing – especially my mum having to see that. It was two days before Mother’s Day, so I was nervous. I sent her flowers first before I called and then she texted me – when the world is against me she’s always there supporting.”

The singer added: “If it’s wrong, she will still let me know but she wouldn’t come down on me like, ‘oh my God, what were you thinking?’”

[From BBC]

Dumb kid. Way to encourage your young fan base to enter into amateur pr0n. It sounds like Rihanna was only really embarrassed by what her mom would think, not what everyone else would think. Here’s the thing about naked photos – if you’re just some average person, some dumb, drunk college girl or someone like that, I can understand why you wouldn’t think it through, how you get caught up in something and suddenly your breasts are all over the internet. Take the Carrie Prejean stuff – like, I understand why she made masturbation videos and sent them to her boyfriend – because she was a dumb 20-year-old who wasn’t famous, and didn’t think the whole thing through for when she was going to be preaching “traditional” conservative values like breast implants. What I don’t understand is how and why famous people do this stuff. If you’re Rihanna or any somewhat famous celebrity woman, don’t you understand that the photos will always get out? Always. Trust me.

Rihanna is pictured out and about in London, very late at night/early in the morning on November 29, 2009. Credit: Pacific Coast News.

Michael Bay and Megan Fox just won’t shut up about their alleged feud, or how they’re not really fighting, or how they’re passive-aggressively taunting each other, or how Megan is just a little tiny woman being bullied by big bad men after she acted consistently unprofessional and disrespectful. So anyway, most people know the larger points of this story: Megan said Michael Bay was “like Hitler”, Megan got called out by a lot of people, including Transformers crew members, yadda yadda. A few months ago there was even a rumor floating around that Bay wanted to write Megan Fox out of the Transformers franchise and bring in some new hot girl. Michael has now given a new interview where he denies wanting to push Megan out of the franchise, and blames her stupidity and unprofessional behavior on her age.

As much as we love a vicious catfight, Movieline equally loves a peace accord (mainly because it opens the door for a good sucker-swat). So join us now live from the Victoria’s Secret fashion show as Michael Bay — feather-trimmed boob-for-boob the best lingerie-commercial director working on the planet today — offers an olive branch to Megan Fox, the onetime-chamois-girl-turned-superstar whose candid appraisal of the director included a comparison to Hitler. Bay’s not sweating it:

“I love her … It’s just, she’s young. Everyone’s got to give her a break, she only…23? It’s just hard. I’ve traveled around the world with her and she’s just like this world symbol now, you know?”

So he brushes her diatribes under the carpet? “Absolutely … She called me (after the Hitler comment) and goes, ‘It’s all bullsh—t, Mike.’ The press, they just like to prey, and stalk, and pounce and find a good little juicy thing. But she’s always wanted to do these crazy comments. That’s just her. She’s great.”

He also said, “She’s got a great part in Transformers 3,” and he said he’s currently working on the script. So Bay’s not planning on getting revenge by, say, killing her off? “No, no. no,” he said, dismissing it. “She gets enough of that already.”

No revenge for Fox, but rather a juicy, range-stretching part in Transformers 3 in which she’ll make her first screen appearance Turtle Waxing a Stealth Bomber with her whale tail peeking out. Congratulations, Megan!

[From Movieline]

Um… she’s 23 years old, not 13. She knows better. And if she really, truly does not know any better, than this is a teachable moment. And really, isn’t that setting the bar really low? “Oh, she’s 23 years old, she can’t be expected to know not to go around calling her director Hitler and Napoleon.” Trust me… I’ve worked since I was 16 years old. You pick up pretty fast what you should and should not say to and about your boss. That being said, CB is like Hitler. NOOOO!!!

Megan Fox appears in the New York Times outtakes, courtesy of Popoholic. Michael Bay on November 19, PicApp/Getty.

Here’s Kiki Dunst on the cover of Allure’s December issue. The cover shot is a pretty picture of her, and Allure has a behind-the-scenes slideshow of the shoot. Maybe I’m biased, but I think she looks slightly drunk on the cover. Maybe it’s just the way she looks, though. Or maybe it’s all of those reports that she’s constantly getting hammered on straight vodka all the time. Maybe it’s because she acts like a vapid, drunk teenager, even when she’s testifying in a court of law. In any case, the pictures are pretty enough, but her interview is rough. Most people are making a big deal about Kiki saying that she and her ex Jake Gyllenhaal are “not good friends” and how they don’t keep in touch. Personally, I don’t find that very scandalous. What did interest me was Kiki’s musings on America. Oh, yes. It is epic.

So much for hanging with your exes.

In the December issue of Allure, Kirsten Dunst admits that she and ex-boyfriend Jake Gyllenhaal don’t exactly keep in touch.

“It would be nice to see him,” she says. “But we’re not good friends.”

The couple — who had shared an L.A. home and a dog named Atticus — split in 2004 after about two years together.

Now 28, Gyllenhaal has been in a relationship with Reese Witherspoon since early 2007.

The 27 year-old Dunst tells Allure that she’s single and living in New York City. Any notable guests at her apartment? “My girlfriends will sleep in bed with me, but no guests, not long-term, anyway.”

The actress, who describes her life as “totally regular,” recently took an eye-opening cross-country road trip with a pal, visiting Graceland, New Orleans and the Grand Canyon.

“After we were done, I was like, ‘Wow, America is so poor,’” she tells the magazine. “Just the towns you come across — all that’s there are restaurants and gas stations. There are beautiful stretches of pasture, but for the most part, people live simply. The East and West Coast are so different from the rest of America.”

[From Us Weekly]

Now, first, just so I don’t go to hell, let me explain in a nice way what I think Kiki was trying to say. I think she was speaking to the larger financial diversity between the extreme, superfluous wealth she’s seen for years in Los Angeles and New York, and she’s trying to voice her genuine surprise and admiration for how “everybody else” lives.

Now, to bash Kiki – just because “everybody else” in America doesn’t have the latest purebred teacup poodle in the latest Louis Vuitton handbag, driving the latest Bentley, wearing the latest Christian Dior sack, doesn’t mean we’re “poor”. And Kiki’s inane, drunk “wow, you guyz is so poor!” mouth-fart doesn’t do much to help the image many of the “everybody else” has of the New York and Los Angeles. Plus, I dislike how Kiki says “the East and West Coast are so different from the rest of America.” As if “East Coast” is synonymous with “New York and maybe Boston but nothing else” and “West coast” is synonymous with “Malibu”. There are a lot of “poor” people living on both coasts, as well as in the rest of America. But, we’re all “poor” compared to Kiki.

Allure cover shot and additional photo courtesy of CoverAwards.

Megan Fox is the cover girl for yet another magazine. Perhaps some men’s mag, full of scantily-clad women in varying degrees of wet? Perhaps some budget women’s mag, where Megan would be given the chance to explain in detail her particular brand of “feminism”? Oh, no. No no no no. Megan Fox is the cover girl for this week’s New York Times Magazine. Yeah… it’s enough. This chick does twenty magazine covers per film… and let’s see, what is she promoting this time? What’s that? Nothing? She got the NYT Mag cover and she’s not promoting anything. For the love of God.

The cover story is already online (it will come with out in print with the Sunday NYT), and this crap… well, it’s pretty bad. Instead of maybe doing an expose of how vapid and ridiculous Megan is, the NYT writer (Lynn Hirschberg) seems to be doing an analysis of Megan’s media strategy. The piece is called “The Self-Manufacture of Megan Fox” and Hirschberg details how Megan’s team of agents, publicists, et cetera, are starting to worry that women hate Megan. So they’ve decided to try to put Megan out there with a “softer” image, in the hopes that women would go see her films. Good luck with that. I don’t think I’m speaking for all women, but I think I represent a substantive portion of women who think Megan is a nasty, vapid, stupid little a-hole. Hirschberg first details some of Megan’s greatest hits (comparing Michael Bay to Hitler, or saying she would “eat” Robert Pattinson), then asks this question: “The only problem is, having come so far so fast, how do you stay this year’s girl when the year is almost over?” Please God, let it be so. The piece is really wordy, so here are the highlights (full magazine piece is here):

How Megan appears to Hirschberg: Fox is small and narrow, with a tiny waist, and she wears her long, thick dark brown hair parted in the middle, which gives her a vaguely Indian quality… For all her raunchy talk, Fox is surprisingly dainty and ladylike. She took ballet for much of her childhood, and she has a natural stillness and grace. She’s not warm or particularly friendly and doesn’t seem at all interested in small talk. Instead, she’s self-contained and a bit wary. She will answer any question, but she resists true dialogue. With Fox, it’s not a conversation but a presentation.

Megan on the box office failure of Jennifer’s Body: “People expected ‘Jennifer’s Body’ to make so much money,” Fox said flatly. “But I was doubtful. The movie is about a man-eating, cannibalistic lesbian cheerleader, and that pretty much eliminates middle America. It’s obviously a girl-power movie, but it’s also about how scary girls are. Girls can be a nightmare. ‘Jennifer’s Body’ wasn’t rated PG-13 like ‘Twilight.’ It was a hard R, and kids couldn’t get in. So they bought a ticket to another movie and snuck in. If I was to have a message, it would be to be a different kind of role model to girls. With ‘Jennifer’s Body,’ I want to say, It’s O.K. to be different from how you’re supposed to be. I worry that’s totally lost.”

Megan on trying to appeal to women: “Women tear each other apart. Girls think I’m a sl-t, and I’ve been in the same relationship since I was 18. The problem is, if they think you’re attractive, you’re either stupid or a wh-re or a dumb wh-re. The instinct among girls is to attack the jugular.”

On whether she’s a feminist or just a media-hungry provocateur: “If I had been a typical starlet and said all the right things, I wouldn’t have escalated to this level. I sit down and do an interview and I talk like a person and that, for some reason, is shocking. All women in Hollywood are known as sex symbols. You’re sold, and it’s based on sex. That’s O.K., if you know how to use it. It’s been a crazy year. I’ve learned that being a celebrity is like being a sacrificial lamb. At some point, no matter how high the pedestal that they put you on, they’re going to tear you down. And I created a character as an offering for the sacrifice. I’m not willing to give my true self up. It’s a testament to my real personality that I would go so far as to make up another personality to give to the world. The reality is, I’m hidden amongst all the insanity. Nobody can find me.”

Hirschberg details at length how Megan has copied Angelina Jolie, and then Megan complains about the comparisons: Fox…complains that the Jolie comparisons are now “the bane of my existence,” which is part of the reason she wanted to host “S.N.L.” Her complaints seem exaggerated — who wouldn’t want to be compared to Angelina Jolie? — Fox maintained that, unlike Jolie, she has a sense of humor and that her interviews are meant to be funny rather than provocative. “People compare me to Angelina Jolie, and she’s so serious and stoic,” Fox explained. “I’m the opposite. When I do interviews, I say things that I think are hysterical. But because we live in a world of sound bites, you’re not allowed to have a sense of humor. Sarcasm doesn’t translate in print at all. And neither does self-deprecating humor. I’m not a tigress like Angelina. Of course, people want me to be. But I want to be the contradiction of that.”

Megan on the whole “Michael Bay is like Hitler” controversy, and the open letters from crew members that followed: “I got myself in this whole mess. But it doesn’t matter. I know that the things they said about me in the crew letter were not true, but Bay is not happy with some of the things I’ve said about him. I was waiting for someone to defend me, to say, ‘That’s not accurate,’ but nobody did. I think it’s because I’m a girl. They left me out there to be bludgeoned to death.”

On trying out a film that would appeal to women: “It might be a good business move. And I get sent romantic comedies. But I’m fearful of doing those. I’m 23 — I don’t belong in a romantic comedy yet. Those movies are very safe. They’re tailored to middle America, which is why they make the money that they make. But I don’t want to do that yet.”

[From The New York Times Magazine]

Notice how easily she fell into the tragic victim position when she discussed calling Michael Bay “like Hitler”? Oh, poor little Megan, they were being mean to her because she’s a girl! Not because she’s an a-hole, right? Also, if her “team” is really serious about getting Megan to appeal to a wider female fan base, perhaps they should get her to stop staying sh-t like “Girls are awful. But, in their defence, girls are awful because of the way society is set up – we’re constantly in competition for male attention. Our fathers raise us wrong and we spend the rest of our lives searching for boys to pay attention to us, which validates us. So no girl can really be your friend, because if she takes attention from you, your daddy doesn’t love you.” This is why women hate Megan. Not because she’s not demure enough. It’s because she says dumb sh-t like this. All. The. Time.

NY Times Magazine cover via Jezebel

Joss Stone is one of those singers I used to like. Until she started talking. While she’s only semi-famous in the U.S., in the U.K. she’s a big deal. She definitely has a bit of influence and an audience. Joss’ latest pearl of wisdom: pot is not a drug, it’s an herb. Okay other people have said that, no big deal. But here’s the best part. According to Joss, everybody smokes pot. That’s right, everybody . The pope? High as a kite right now. And anyone who says they don’t is a big liar. Here’s what she told Star:

“I smoke weed, but I don’t think it’s really a drug. It’s more of a herb. I don’t regret saying that at all. I think everyone smokes weed and people who say they don’t are lying! Weed has been given this evil stamp, but how is it dangerous? It’s going to make you laugh your arse off? You might go to sleep? I think alcohol is much more harmful. People beat the f&@* out of each other on alcohol.

But I don’t smoke weed all day long. I live in Devon and hardly ever go to clubs. When I do, I’ll drink three or four beers then move on to a vodka. I don’t want to take all those horrible drugs. Although some sound fun, so I might dabble now and then!”

[From Dlisted]

Well I guess I’m nothing but a liar because I don’t smoke pot and never have. My shameful secret is out: I’m straight edge. So I’m a liar or Joss is an idiot. It reminds me of Paris Hilton’s statement that everybody’s made a sex tape. Celebitchy and I were talking about this earlier today, and it seems that both these girls are probably of the mindset that if they do something, and everyone they know does it, then everyone in the world does it. And that’s a pretty narrow way of looking at the world. The people you know are likely to be similar to you. That doesn’t mean the entire world is the same as you.

I’m not going to go off on the pot, alcohol, or drug statements. Everyone just yells and no one agrees. I really find it much more interesting that someone could have such a limited ability to see beyond their own life.

Here’s Joss at the Mayfair hotel in London on November 3rd. Images thanks to Fame Pictures .

Rihanna was all over the news last week because of her in-depth interview with Diane Sawyer. The clips shown on Good Morning America were fairly devastating. Rihanna came across as a young woman who had learned some valuable lessons about self-respect, violence and her position as a role model for young women. She also recalled her vivid memory of being beaten by Chris: “He had no soul in his eyes. Just blank. He was clearly blacked-out. There was no person when I looked at him.”

While Rihanna’s interview dominated the news, it seemed to many (me) that it would have been wise for Chris to simply give Rihanna the week. He should have disappeared, gone on vacation, or stayed home and played video games for a several days. Anything but appear before MTV for a series of disgustingly ridiculous interviews, the latest of which came on Friday, in which Chris said that Rihanna should have kept all of the beat down “private”. Seriously:

When MTV News correspondent Sway spoke with Chris Brown on Monday for “Chris Brown: The Interview” and addressed Rihanna’s upcoming “20/20″ sit-down — portions of which have already aired on “Good Morning America” — the “Forever” singer said he was confident that he had come clean about everything and there was nothing that could be said by his former girlfriend that would make him nervous.

“Honestly, because I have expressed my wrongs and there is nothing that could come out that’s like, ‘OK, this is something totally different than what we know,’ ” he told MTV News when asked. “I basically expressed how I feel, basically said what I’m wrong for.”

Brown contacted MTV News on Friday (November 6) to issue a statement about the portions of Rihanna’s interview that have emerged since that interview. He reiterated his stance on maintaining the pair’s privacy, but he also supported Rihanna’s decision to speak out about what occurred that February night. Brown wished Rihanna the best and once again admitted his mistake.

“While I respect Rihanna’s right to discuss the specific events of February 8, I maintain my position that all of the details should remain a private matter between us,” he said in the statement. “I do appreciate her support and wish her the best. I am extremely sorry for what I did, and I accept accountability for my actions. At this point, I am taking the proper steps to learn about me and grow from my mistakes. I only hope that others in similar situations can learn from our experience as well. Abuse of any kind is always wrong. The rest I leave it to God.”

[From MTV]

It’s like this kid has absolutely no shame, no sense of hypocrisy, no sense of real remorse. This is the same Chris Brown who went on Larry King and talked about how he didn’t even remember beating the hell out Rihanna. This is the same Chris Brown who went out partying in the aftermath of the beating. Ugh.

Meanwhile, Chris Brown’s apologists are still in action. The website Tash (“Hip, Urban ‘n Chic”) pointed out that “Chris Brown’s friends are backing him 100% and calling her a liar, hannarihanna and more.” They pulled several commenters defense of Chris – much of it I have no desire to publish (you can see a select few here), but the gist of which is that Rihanna is spreading “bullcrap” and that Chris’s career “ain’t ova”. Seriously. So much for a teachable moment.

Chris Brown is photographed performing during Power 105.1′s “Powerhouse” at the Izod Center in East Rutherford, New Jersey on October 27, 2009. Credit: FAME.

For those of us who listen to the radio on occasion, Miley Cyrus’s nasal twang is getting too much play. Her song “Party in the U.S.A.” is everywhere on pop stations, and if you’re lucky enough to not have that God forsaken song stuck in your head for a whole day (“Swingin’ your hips like yeah”…ARHH!), consider yourself one of the chosen few. This particular song got its worldwide debut at the Teen Choice Awards several months ago, by the way. Yes, it’s that song. The song that Miley sung while pole dancing. Seriously.

Anyway, there’s a break or whatever in parts on the song where Miley’s demon twang belts out “And the Jay-Z song was on!” repeatedly (note: she also sings/demon-twangs “And the Britney song was on!” at one point too). I didn’t really think anything of these Britney and Jay-Z shout-outs because, really, Britney and Jay-Z songs are always on the radio, and they’re now as emblematic of modern American music, so whatever. I didn’t really think about it that much. Apparently Miley didn’t either – and when this interviewer dude asked her about Jay-Z’s music, Miley was all, like, you know, like, whatever, and um…like, “I’ve never heard a Jay-Z song… I don’t listen to pop music.” Seriously. Like. Um. Demon Twang. Like.

It appears that a Jay-Z song wasn’t on!

Miley Cyrus — whose hit song, “Party in the U.S.A.” includes a line about her nodding her head to one of the rapper’s tracks — says she doesn’t know which of his songs inspired the lyrics.

“I’ve never heard a Jay-Z song,” the singer, 16, said in an interview before her Halloween concert — in which she was dressed as Pocahontas — in Louisville, Kentucky this past Saturday. “I don’t listen to pop music.”

Then how did it get in her song — which was recently No. 1 on the Top 40 charts?

“I don’t know, I didn’t write the song, so I have no idea,” she said of the tune, which was written by a songwriting team of Dr. Luke, Claude Kelly and Jessica Cornish. “Honestly, I picked that song because I needed something to go with my clothing line. I didn’t write it and … I didn’t expect it to be popular, originally. It was just something that I wanted to do, and I needed some songs and it turned out for the best.”

Although she said “Party in the U.S.A.” is “not even my style of music,” she is thankful for its success.

“I’m really blessed for it to have done as well as it has. Totally blessed,” she said. “God has definitely put me in an amazing position with amazing people.”

Later, when asked about an artist she has heard before — her father, Billy Ray Cyrus — the Hannah Montana star says she has no plans to shout out any of his songs, like the 1992 hit, “Achy Breaky Heart.”

“No, no thank you,” she said. “That’s like covering a Jay-Z song. That’s not going to happen.”

[From Us Weekly]

So Miley doesn’t listen to “pop music” and that’s why she’s never heard a Jay-Z song. And yet, in the interview, she’s talking about Britney Spears’ music. So, basically, Miley is, like, dumb as a friggin’ doornail. I have to admit though, I didn’t watch the full video, I only skimmed it because her voice is so grating and I really want to try to smack her for a variety of reasons. Instead of just bashing Miley for everything, I will give her credit for one thing – she’s very polite to the guy interviewing her, and his kids. The guy comes across as a bit of a pervert, though. Miley doesn’t seem to notice. She probably thought “He reminds me of my daddy!” Here’s the video:

In the header, Miley Cyrus is performing in concert at the United Center in Chicago, Illinois on October 27, 2009. Credit: WENN.