Here’s a photo of Dolph Lundgren, Sylvester Stallone, Arnold Schwarzenegger and Jean-Claude Van Damme together at The Expendables premiere in Paris a few days ago. Who would have thought that Dolph would be holding up so much better than the rest of these beefcakes? And it’s not just a matter of age either even though Arnie is pushing 65, and Stallone is 66. Comparatively speaking, Dolph is one of the younger ones of the group at age 54, but Jean-Claude is 51 and looks (much like Arnold and Sly) like melting wax. I guess five marriages and a $10,000 per week coke habit for years will do that to you, but Jean-Claude has reportedly cleaned up his life quite a bit in the past several years and now has a new role as the lead villain in The Expendables 2. It’s his first role in a major film in well over a decade, and he’s obviously trying to make the most of it even though the poor guy looks pretty rough in these photos.

Also of note is a new revelation from Jean-Claude during a new Guardian interview, in which he reveals that he was totally doing his Street Fighter co-star, Kylie Minogue, while he was married (to one of his random wives). Maybe that’s why that particular divorce happened, no? Or maybe his wife didn’t like that Jean-Claude refers to his wang as “Thailand.” Seriously:

On having an affair with Kylie Minogue while making Street Fighter: “Oh … who said that to you? I tell you what, you should ask her. She’ll have a better memory. I’m 51 years old, do you know how much I was punched in the face on The Expendables? No, no. No. And let’s just say it happened, so what? Who wants to know?

“Sometimes you let go of stuff … I don’t know, maybe.” He sighs, then becomes reflective. It’s rather touching. “Yes. OK. Yes, yes, yes. It happened. I was in Thailand, we had an affair. Sweet kiss, beautiful lovemaking. It would be abnormal not to have had an affair, she’s so beautiful and she was there in front of me every day with a beautiful smile, simpatico, so charming, she wasn’t acting like a big star. I knew Thailand very well, so I showed her my Thailand. She’s a great lady.”

On why he was blacklisted: “[1994] saw Van Damme’s biggest box-office success, Timecop, which made $100m in the US. Now he was truly a star. And that’s when things started to fall apart. Universal called, offering him $12m a film for a three-film deal. He demanded $20m. “Like Jim Carrey.”

He laughs at his own arrogance. “I was f#@*ked up, man. But you know, it was not about the money. The people in the UK will read this and say, ‘What a f@#*ing piglet.’ Sorry about my expression! I was making movie after movie, and in between movies I was doing promotion. I was tired. Everything I was touching was making money. Jim Carrey was being paid a fortune. And I wanted to play with the system. Like an idiot. Ridiculous.” They hung up on him. “I was on the blacklist. That was it.”

On his role in The Expendables 2: “You know what? I’m scared. It’s one shot, this film, and hopefully the studios … Ringo Lam once told me they just like new faces — fresh fish. But maybe they would like an old fish. It’s all about business and money and the value of the actor. Up and down. Maybe. Who knows?”

[From Guardian]

Indeed, Jean-Claude finds a rare, non-straight-to-DVD opportunity in The Expendables 2. At least now he realizes how arrogant he was to demand such a huge salary when he was clearly, you know, so expendable in the 1990s. Sorry, I am just filled with awful puns today.

Here’s some photos of Jean-Claude generally acting like a whackjob at the London premiere too. Maybe he’ll have that big comeback after this movie’s (inevitable) success, right? Or maybe he’ll just be back for The Expendables 3, which wouldn’t be such a bad deal either.

Photos courtesy of Fame/Flynet and WENN

This is one weird ass story that I have to repeat. The mental image has been burning in my brain for too long now, and now I must inflict it on you. The National Enquirer has excerpts this week from Hollywood bodyguard Lee Weaver’s new memoir. In an earlier story today, Kaiser mentioned an anecdote the guy told about Lindsay Lohan yelling at her dealer and nearly getting shot. Weaver also worked for Eddie Murphy and Sylvester Stallone, and he has a mouth-dropping story of a hookup Stallone had with Sandra Bullock in a hotel room. The time frame is in the early 90s, when the two were filming Demolition Man together. Apparently Sly invited Sandra up to his room, they stripped down to their underwear and rolled around while pretending to re-enact Rocky. Really. The thing is, I thought that the bodyguard actually witnessed this, but this is what Sandra told the bodyguard about what happened. I’m thinking she probably made up this whole scenario to try and explain away the fact that she hooked up with Sly.

Weaver shares a hilarious story about the night Stallone invited his co-star Sandra Bullock up to his room, but instead of hooking up with her, the two stripped down to their underwear and had a “Rocky” moment!

Weaver says that when Sandra went up to Stallone’s room, Sly ducked into the bathroom and came out wearing boxer shorts.

“I’m a lady, but I got excited because he has a beautiful body,” Weaver says Sandra told him.

And according to the bodyguard, Sandra then went into the bathroom, came out in her underwear – and that’s when things got weird!

Sandra reportedly told Weaver that Stallone started “jumping around like he was in a boxing ring.”

The actress shared: “I said, ‘OK, I can play around with him.’ As soon as he said, ‘Ding! Ding!’ he turned into Rocky, like in his movie.

“That’s the thing that bothered me the most because he was punching me in the arm! He grabbed me and we rolled on the carpet. I’m not going to lie… it did turn me on. Until he said ‘Ding! Ding!’ one more time, and right then, he screamed out, ‘Adrian!’”

[From The National Enquirer, print edition, December 19, 2011]

So Sandra claimed to have had this bizarre boxing/wrestling session with Sly and admitted to the bodyguard that she was turned on? Ok I guess. That’s just out there and sounds totally made up, although I bet Sly is a weird duck like that. Sandra was around 28 in 1992 (Demolition Man came out in 1993) and Sly was 46. He was also single, having divorced Brigitte Nielsen in 1987 and not remarrying again until 1997. I wonder if Sandra and Sly ever hooked up after that, or if that was the only night they “wrestled.” That story cracks me the hell up and it sounds straight from Sandra’s imagination. That’s one way to explain a one night stand.

You can learn more of the strange things this guy witnessed at leetweaver.com

Here’s a photo of Weaver with Sandra Bullock, from his website:

Sylvester Stallone was in attendance for the closing ceremony of the Venice Film Festival over the weekend, and his appearance is “raising some eyebrows”. I say it this way to be snarky, because it seems Stallone has gotten himself some kind of epic facelift, and his eyebrows are ridiculous.

There have been rumors about Stallone’s nips and tucks for several years now. Perhaps he never had a full-on facelift, but he’s had something done, like a brow lift or something with the tightness of his jaw line, I think. But those rumors haven’t stopped him from going under the knife again, if his look in Venice is any indication. The Daily Mail also noted that Stallone was wearing very heavy makeup for the event – but makeup doesn’t even begin to describe what was going on with this man’s eyebrows. They. Are. Epic.

Sylvester Stallone was obviously glowing with pride at being awarded a film-making prize today. But it was more than just the flush of success that was contributing to the Rambo star’s slightly orange and frozen complexion.

The 63-year-old appeared to be wearing heavy facial make-up and there was barely a wrinkle to be seen on his forehead when he arched his eyebrows at the Venice Film Festival today.

Wearing a slick grey pinstripe suit and blue tie, the actor looked a world away from his long-haired Rambo character.

Stallone obviously wanted to look his best, as he is due to receive the Jaeger-Lecoultre Glory To The Filmmaker award.

During the presentation of the award, there will be a premiere screening of sequences from The Expendables the new film written by, directed by and starring Stallone.

The all-action film also stars Bruce Willis, Jet Li, Dolph Lundgren, Jason Statham and Oscar-nominee Mickey Rourke. It tells the story of a team of mercenaries who head to South America on a mission to overthrow a dictator.

There will also be a screening of the director’s cut of Rambo which will end the 66th Venice Film Festival.

Sylvester Stallone previously attended the Mostra in Venice on two occasions, in 1999 as the star of Cop Land by James Mangold, and in 2003 as an actor in Spy Kids 3-D: Game Over by Robert Rodriguez. Stallone is currently working on the fifth Rambo movie.

[From the Daily Mail]

I was hit by something resembling shame as I wrote this – I mean, obviously, Stallone is insecure about aging, and I feel badly that some hack surgeon did that to his face. But he’s 63 years old! He should know better. And he should stop trying to convince us that he’s still this big action stud. While he’s wearing pancake makeup on his hacked face.

Sylvester Stallone is shown on 9/11/09. Credit: BIG PICTURES/bauergriffinonline.com

Never let anyone accuse Sylvester Stallone of being a gentleman. Or classy. Or dignified in any way. Sly’s had a number of unhappy relationships over the years. He’s also been injecting God knows what into his body for at least the last… well let’s see, he’s 61 now… so I’m going to say he’s been injecting crap into his body for at least the last 58 years. Though if you’ve ever seen pictures of his mother, Jackie Stallone (who is an astrologer, former dancer, and promoter of women’s wrestling) you know the odds are pretty good he was getting some type of injection in the womb. That woman is all kinds of crazy. Anyway, Sly hooked up with equally crazy and self-proclaimed “World’s first supermodel” Janice Dickinson back in the early nineties. And between the mouths on the two of them, you’d think it’d be a match made in heaven, right? Well either that or a total nightmare, and it turns out it was more the latter. Janice got pregnant with what she thought was Sly’s daughter – turns out she’d slept with three guys in one week, and Stallone was not the dad. But they didn’t know that until two months after Dickenson’s daughter was born, and she and Sly stayed in a relationship until he found out the paternity. Janice is now claiming that not only did Sly juice himself, but he’d inject her too.

On U.S. news show Red Eye earlier this week, Dickinson alleged she had seen Stallone doing steroids. She said: “He juiced me.

“I’d wake up and my arm was as big as Popeye – steroids, testosterone, all that stuff that people say [mimicking Stallone voice], ‘Hey, it’s not that good ’cause you get really big, you know what I mean?’”

Host Greg Gutfeld replied: “So that’s an actual confirmation, though? You did see him juice?”

Dickinson answered: “I did confirm that, didn’t I?”

[From the Daily Mail]

Awesome. Dickinson claims that thanks to Sly’s “vitamin” and exercise regime, she was able to walk the catwalk for Versace six weeks after giving birth. Apparently her claims didn’t sit well with the always-upstanding Stallone, and he felt the need to defend his gentlemanly honor on Howard Stern’s show yesterday.

Sylvester Stallone had an armed guard deliver an advance screener of the new “Rambo” to Howard Stern, who gave the flick five stars when Sly called in yesterday to see if he liked it.

The talk quickly turned to women, with Sly denying Janice Dickinson’s claims he injected her with steroids. “The only thing I injected her with was my fist,” he joked. He also claimed Brigitte Nielsen was one of the “least crazy” women he’s dated and that saucy redhead Angie Everhart was demented.

[From Page Six]

You know what’s always funny? Jokes about beating up your former girlfriends. Really, that humor never gets old. God forbid there were 8 people left in the world that didn’t think Sylvester Stallone was a total slime ball. He’s probably just cranky from all the steroids he’s not injecting into himself. Or anybody else. I’m not saying there’s any reason to believe a word that comes out of Janice Dickinson’s mouth. That woman redefines crazy. But it’s probably not the greatest thing to joke that you beat her up. I think if there’s anyone out there who’s crazy enough to take on Sylvester Stallone in a fight, it’s Janice Dickinson.

Picture note by Jaybird: Here’s Janice Dickinson at the Fox Reality Channel Really Awards on October 10th. Header of Stallone donating memorabilia from “Rambo” to Planet Hollywood on January 17th. Images thanks to PR Photos.

Sylvester Stallone has anther lame Rambo/Rocky/whatever movie coming out, and to try and stop it sinking down with Rocky Balboa, he’s dropping the names of some people who can sell box office tickets. Like Matt Damon.

He said: “I think that some young actors will look at me as this archaic, prehistoric creature because now we’ve become much more scientific, less personal.

“Most of my peers were very physical. Arnold Schwarzenegger and Bruce Willis – they were just more hands-on. I think that a lot more actors today are hands-off and they’re more intellectual.”

Stallone believes Rambo would wipe the floor with Matt Damon’s Bourne Ultimatum character Jason Bourne in a fight.

He joked: “Rambo would murder Jason Bourne. I’m kidding. Maybe the one in The Transporter though – Jason Statham.”

Sydney Morning Herald

Hopefully this challenge won’t lead to a Rambo vs Bourne flick (has anyone seen Alien vs Predator II? I didn’t think so). While Rambo might be tougher, I think he’d have to catch Bourne first. We know which one is more intelligent!

The other things these characters have over the 80′s heroes is they have speaking roles. Does Rambo say anything during the whole first movie?

Checking out the new trailer on YouTube, it looks appropriately violent and features the obligatory hysterical female character. Don’t watch it if you don’t like blood, he’s ripping people’s throats out and all sorts of boy gore.

Yeah, I’ll be sticking to Bourne. Hubby will go see it. Probably twice.

Sly doesn’t address the Janice Dickinson allegations of him ‘juicing’ her with steroids, but I think the interview took place before she said it. Rambo hits cinemas January 25.

Picture note by Celebitchy: Sylvester Stallone is shown donating “Rambo” memorabilia to Planet Hollywood in New York on 1/17/08. Matt Damon is shown at the Toronto International Film Festival on 9/9/07, thanks to PRPhotos.

I don’t exactly consider Sylvester Stallone to be the epitome of tact and grace, but he actually has some interesting and thoughtful things to say about the atrocities in Myanmar right now – where he’s spent several months filming the latest installment in the “Rambo” series.

“Sylvester Stallone says he and his Rambo sequel movie crew recently witnessed the human toll of unspeakable atrocities while filming along the Myanmar border. ‘I witnessed the aftermath — survivors with legs cut off and all kinds of land-mine injuries, maggot-infested wounds and ears cut off,’ Stallone told The Associated Press in a phone interview Monday. ‘We hear about Vietnam and Cambodia and this was more horrific.’

“The 61-year-old actor-director returned to the U.S. eight days ago from shooting John Rambo, the fourth movie in the action series, on the Salween River separating Thailand and Myanmar, formerly known as Burma. Stallone said he was in Thailand for six months, most of it along or on the river. ‘This is a hellhole beyond your wildest dreams,’ Stallone said. ‘All the trails are mined. The only way into Burma is up the river.’”

[From USA Today]

I wonder why they chose to film in Myanmar given that it’s such a hotbed of danger right now? I know the guy is an action and adrenaline junkie, but it seems like he has a decent appreciation for how dangerous the place is right now. I don’t know the Rambo movies at all, so maybe it’s integral to the script – though my general impression is that they’re not exactly super plot-based. Even if he wanted to set the movie in Myanmar, he could still have chosen to film it somewhere else.

“Stallone also claimed watching refuges fleeing from Myanmar to Thailand during his stay at the location. Actor-director Sylvester Stallone has revealed that he received a series of death threats while filming upcoming sequel John Rambo along the troubled Thailand-Myanmar border. The 61-year-old star said that his crew was filming on the Salween River when they were warned that they would be shot if they did not leave the place immediately.

“‘We were on the Salween River and we were told to get out because we were going to be shot,’ Contactmusic quoted him as telling American TV show Entertainment Tonight . Stallone also claimed watching refuges fleeing from Myanmar to Thailand during his stay at the location. ‘It’s the most brutal regime in the world and the most secretive. It has an oppressive regime that (keeps all riches) for themselves. Everyone is forced into drugs or prostitution or slavery,’ he said.”

[From the Times of India]

Why I don’t quite understand why he’d chose to film there and endanger his life and the lives of his cast and crew, I’ve got to give the guy props for speaking out about what’s going on in Myanmar. Some decent celebrities have shown that they can bring a lot of much-needed attention, even political attention, to otherwise ignored causes. Had most of us heard about Darfur, until a bunch of big names threw their weight behind the “Save Darfur” campaign? Hopefully the situation will change on it’s own, but I appreciate a celebrity (if you still want to call Sly Stallone a celebrity… hey we’re bitchy here, I had to get that in) throwing their weight behind something good.

If you’re a poor Serbian village, subjected in recent years to floods and landslides, what do you do to get past the bad times and give the town a lift? Put up a statue of Rocky!

A Serbian village, worn out by floods and misfortune, has erected statue of Rocky Balboa in the hopes of a turn in luck.

Zitiste, about 60 kilometres north of Belgrade, yesterday unveiled a huge monument to actor Sylvester Stallone’s film character in the village square to attract tourists and show a new face to the world.

The monument is three metres high and made of concrete by a Croatian artist.

Sydney Morning Herald

I thought this was a very original idea, having a statue of a fighter, admittedly fictional, who won out against adversity. Or something. I think I missed Rocky at the movies. All six of them.

Anyway, turns out the concept isn’t so original after all, and that Philadelphia has a Rocky statue as well. The reason for the Philly statue is not to cheer people up, but because this is where Rocky runs up the steps after a particularly gruelling training run. You know, then he leaps up and down waving his arms? Even as ignorant as I am of Sylvester Stallone movies, I know that scene. Dad used to do it at some steps near our house when I was a kid. Perhaps a third statue could join in the party? Australia has a drought, it could use some cheering up.

There’s this confusing article about Sylvester Stallone and Richard Gere in today’s MSNBC scoop column, but I think I get the gist of it after reading it several times.

Slyvester Stallone says he doesn’t get along with Richard Gere and had him fired from a film they were working on together in 1974. Gere dripped some food grease on Stallone kind of on purpose, which pissed off Rocky and prompted him to elbow Gere. He then arranged to get Gere dropped from the film. Oh and he also says that Gere probably considers him responsible for starting that crazy gerbil urban legend. He says he’s not, though, but he’s sure to get some much-needed publicity for his latest remake of Rocky by mentioning it:

Did Sylvester Stallone start that bizarre urban myth about Richard Gere and a gerbil?The “Rocky” star says Gere thinks he does. As Stallone tells it, he and Gere had a falling-out on the set of the 1974 flick “The Lords of Flatbush.”

According to Stallone, Gere was supposed to have the role played by Perry King, but he and Gere “never hit it off” and Rocky got so mad at Gere that he elbowed him in the head over a greasy chicken.

“[Gere] would strut around in his oversized motorcycle jacket like he was the baddest knight at the round table,” Stallone told AintItCoolNews.com.

He says that one time during a fight scene things got a little too real, and at another point, things got physical during a lunch when Stallone went into a Toyota to eat lunch.

“I was eating a hotdog and he climbs in with a half a chicken covered in mustard with grease nearly dripping out of the aluminum wrapper,” said Stallone. “I said, ‘That thing is going to drip all over the place.’ He said, ‘Don’t worry about it.’ I said, ‘If it gets on my pants you’re gonna know about it.’ He proceeds to bite into the chicken and a small, greasy river of mustard lands on my thigh. I elbowed him in the side of the head and basically pushed him out of the car. The director had to make a choice: one of us had to go, one of us had to stay.”

Gere’s spokesman wasn’t available for comment, but according to Stallone: “Richard was given his walking papers and to this day seriously dislikes me. He even thinks I’m the individual responsible for the gerbil rumor. Not true, but that’s the rumor.”

[via GossipRocks]

It’s unknown why these guys had to eat in a car on the set of a film, but whatever. All I really heard was Richard Gere gerbil. According to the urban legends expert at About.com, that’s the top rumor that people ask him about when they hear what he does for a living. He says it has all the earmarks of an urban legend and that of course it’s not true. It makes me chuckle self-consciously and think of that South Park episode where the gerbil escaped from Mr. Slave or whatever that guy’s name was. (That episode was terribly wrong on so many levels, and I was really kind of amazed that they would dare make an episode that was so offensive and shocking. It was also funny in a sick way.)

Header image is of a Halloween costume picture found at NatronBomb.com.