People Magazine has an interesting back and forth between Melissa Etheridge and Tammy Lynn Michael’s lawyers commenting on the state of Tammy Lynn’s finances. As you might remember, Melissa and Tammy Lynn split up recently after nine years and two kids together. Melissa told the press that the split was mutual while Tammy Lynn blogged that she was blindsided by both the breakup and by Etheridge filing to legally end their partnership. (They were not legally married during the time when it was possible in California.) She also described how she gave up a lucrative acting career in order to raise their twins while Etheridge worked on her music.

After filing for full legal custody, Tammy Lynn’s lawyer noted to TMZ that his client was completely broke and had just $4 to her name. Melissa’s lawyer countered at the time that “Melissa is paying all of Tammy’s expenses, which totals tens of thousands of dollars per month.” Tammy Lynn is seeking spousal support while Melissa’s filing for joint custody requests that she get none.

In a court hearing on Monday, Tammy Lynn requested $25,000 immediately to pay for expenses along with an additional $25,000 for lawyers fees. The initial $25,000 was denied based on Melissa’s claim that she pays for all of Tammy’s household expenses. (TMZ has that story, and it sounds like the issue of lawyer’s fees was deferred, although they don’t specify.)

According to Melissa’s lawyer, his client pays Tammy Lynn $2,000 a month in addition to covering all of the other expenses. If that’s true why is Tammy claiming that she has to borrow money from friends for gas, then? Here’s People’s story on what Melissa allegedly pays for:

Has Melissa Etheridge left her ex and their twins broke?

That’s what Tammy Etheridge’s attorney claimed in an L.A. courtroom on Monday – but Melissa’s lawyer says that’s not the case.

“[Tammy] is being completely supported by Melissa and has been since they separated,” Melissa’s attorney Neal Hersh told PEOPLE after appearing at a hearing. “She’s being well-provided for and then some, as are the children, which are Melissa’s first priority.”

The singer has been giving the former Tammy Lynn Michaels $2,000 a month and pays household bills including utilities and a car lease, the lawyer says.

Tammy’s attorney Steven Knowles acknowledges, “Melissa is paying various sundry expenses,” but says that Tammy, 35, and their 3-year-old twins, Johnnie and Miller, are “destitute.” Knowles adds, “It doesn’t put money in her wallet. Literally she has no cash.”

Knowles also claims Tammy’s credit card has been declined when she’s tried to purchase groceries and clothing for their children, something Hersh says is, if true, “a one-off situation.”

Melissa, 49, and Tammy, 35, split late last year after nearly nine years together. Melissa is seeking joint custody of their twins, while Tammy is seeking full custody.

[From People]

Tammy Lynn hasn’t blogged in about a week and a half. Her last entry was on how shocked she was that Etheridge had filed paperwork to make their split official, having promised that she would wait to file until the fall. I would say that I’m team Tammy Lynn, but only if it’s true that Melissa isn’t providing for her living expenses beyond the mortgage, utilities and other bills. It does sound incredibly cheap and petty of Melissa to deny Tammy Lynn $25,000 to live on for the next few months. (That may be a lot of money to you or me, but Melissa is a millionaire.) Tammy Lynn has been raising their twins and has dedicated her life to being there for them. Melissa Etheridge is currently touring to promote her new album. It’s not like she can’t afford $25,000 for the mother of her youngest children. This really speaks to how contentious their split must be.

Melissa Etheridge and Tammy Lynn Michaels are shown in 2005 and 2006. Credit: WENN.com

Things are heating up in the high profile split between singer Melissa Etheridge, 49, and her partner of nine years, Tammy Lynn Michaels, 35. Etheridge recently filed to dissolve the partnership (the two were not legally married), which came as a surprise to Michaels, who blogged that Etheridge was breaking a promise not to file until the fall. Michaels also made it clear that she gave up her acting career to raise her now three year-old twins with Etheridge. According to Michaels, Etheridge emotionally and physically withdrew from the relationship and then left her high and dry without providing for the children’s welfare. She claimed that she’s been forced to borrow money from friends to pay for gas and food.

In her filing Etheridge sought joint custody of the children without spousal support for Michaels. In response Michaels filed for full custody, claiming that Etheridge wasn’t around enough to be an effective parent, and is seeking spousal support. What’s more is that Michaels’ lawyer claims his client has just $4 left, while Etheridge’s lawyer counters that she’s still paying the bills.

Melissa Etheridge has left Tammy Lynn Michaels and the two children they have together high and dry … this according to Tammy’s lawyer Steven Knowles. But Melissa says Tammy is delusional.

Knowles tells TMZ Tammy has a grand total of $4 to her name … adding, “Melissa has not been treating Tammy or the children as if they are a wife and children, financially and otherwise.”

Knowles says Melissa has not given Tammy or the kids a penny since the breakup … and she is now destitute.

TMZ broke the story, Melissa filed for dissolution of her domestic partnership with Tammy last week.

On Tuesday, Tammy filed her own legal docs … but she is asking for a dissolution of marriage. According to Knowles, even though Tammy and Melissa were not legally married in California, “They were married in their own eyes and in the eyes of the world … and Melissa was the first to say they were, in fact, married.”

BTW – Tammy is asking for spousal support – something she can’t get if she is not “married.”

As we first told you, Melissa wants joint custody … but Tammy is asking for full legal and physical custody.

Knowles tells us Melissa can’t possibly be a participant in the custody agreement because her schedule makes it impossible to be a meaningful parent.

Melissa’s lawyer, Neal Hersh, tells TMZ, “Melissa is paying all of Tammy’s expenses, which totals tens of thousands of dollars per month.”

[From TMZ]

Let’s assume that Etheridge’s lawyer is telling the truth and that she’s still paying for the mortgage and utilities on the home where Michaels and the children are living. (At least that’s how I interpreted that statement. Etheridge might be giving her money for incidentals, but it doesn’t sound like it.) If that’s the case, why can’t she also give her money for gas, food and living expenses? Many of you warned me in our last story not to just believe Michaels’ account that she was dead broke and to question whether she was telling the truth or not. I’m on Michaels’ side now and do believe that it went down that way and that she has no money left. None of us know what went on in that marriage (and it deserves to be called one) that caused it to end but if it’s true that Etheridge is leaving Michaels without a dime that’s despicable.

Amid all this mess things may pick up for Michaels’ career. She’s slated to star in a same sex romantic comedy, Nicest Thing, directed by Amanda Bearse. (Marcy from Married… with Children. Can you believe it?) Wikipedia has the film starting production this year.

Melissa Etheridge’s estranged partner, Tammy Lynn Michaels, maintains a blog and has posted a few entries making it clear that their breakup was not mutual. According to Michaels, it was Etheridge who chose to end things after emotionally withdrawing from the relationship. In our last story on one of Michael’s posts detailing her side of the split, I wrote that she should really try to keep her personal business offline. Etheridge has talked about the breakup while promoting her album but has been vague about the circumstances, simply saying that they drifted apart and that it didn’t happen overnight. Michaels made it clear that it was much more sudden in her experience and that Etheridge is glossing over her role in the split.

Now Etheridge has filed to legally end the partnership and is trying to ensure that Michaels is not awarded support. (They did not marry in the window of time before Prop 8 passed, but had a traditional-type wedding ceremony in 2003). She is seeking joint custody of their three year-old twins, boy Miller and daughter Johnnie. Michaels wants us to know that she was blindsided by the filing and that Etheridge promised her she wouldn’t file until the fall. She also writes that she gave up her career to raise their kids, and that she is currently so broke she has to borrow money from friends and family to pay for food and gas:

i am wondering if it’s an art

gentle waves
no noise for awhile
or maybe gentle voices

and

SMACK!!!!!!!!!!!!
FILE FOR DIVORCE!!!!!!
even though we both promised
agreed
handshook
pinkyswore

no filing until after tour
in the fall

her broken promises
told to me by
headlines….

---

“you know what?” i said. “do you want me to take a year off? take care of the kids? i can be here when you’re gone, get them at school, bake for them, do the school stuff, and just catch them when you’re not here. want me to do that?”

her face lit up like i was giving her a present she wanted but could never name. “would you do that??? you would do that???”

“sure! i’ve always wanted to make a home anyway! i’ll make a home for you and me and the kids, and you go and do your thang with your guitar!”

we laughed and hugged, and she said it was perfect, and it was what she had always wanted anyways, but didn’t want to ask anybody to do it for her….. make her a home…. etc. and that night was perfect. sitting on the porch, under the stars, back when we lived on the house on Mandeville canyon, near the ocean.

i gave up my managers, agents, contacts, all that good stuff, because i stepped directly into potty training a small boy, and carrying around a small girl on my hip. both excellent souls. and i was a very huge part in raising them for many many years while She with the Guitar focused on her Guitar.

i was always the house wife after that. the only thing i hated about it was not bringing in money- i have made my own money since i started babysitting at 10, and having a newspaper route at 11. having no steady paycheck killed me for those years with her. and now it’s really killing me. the other week i had to borrow money from a friend. two weeks ago i had to scrape together $1.25 to pay for gas. i know she doesn’t want to give me money. trust. i’m borrowing cash left and right from people to get through this summer, and feed my kids, with a stomach full of ulcers, thank you. no stress here.

[From two different entries on HollywoodFarmGirl.Blogspot.com]

In May I wrote that didn’t think that Michaels should air her personal business online. It’s more the way that Michaels is expressing herself rather than the fact that she’s telling us. It’s deplorable that Etheridge is not taking care of her children’s mother. She’s a millionaire and could easy make sure Michaels can pay her bills. This is just too raw and personal to be put out there like this, though. Michaels could earn just as much if not more sympathy will some carefully leaked stories to the press. Look at how Shania Twain told People Magazine that her husband was cheating on her with her best friend. She did it by attributing the news to “sources” through one of the most respected celebrity outlets. (Although that’s questionable given how much attention they’ve been paying to cheesy reality stars lately.)

Michaels could be a little more media savvy about all this, but I can’t begrudge her saying her peace piece. This is just another example of why it should be legal for same sex couples to marry. They need just as many rights when they get divorced, too.

Melissa Etheridge and her longterm partner, Tammy Michaels, announced their split last month after nine years together. We primarily heard Etheridge’s side of the story that the split was “mutual” when she was inevitably asked about it on the press tour for her new album. Michaels briefly posted two semi-cryptic blog entries that made it sound like the split was more one-sided. She wrote that she was “blind sided” and hinted that Etheridge was spinning the story for her own purposes. Those posts were subsequently deleted, though, and it seemed like that was the last time we would hear about it for a while. Now Michaels, who is the biological mom to twins with Etheridge, son Miller Steven and daughter Johnny Rose, 3 and a half, has posted a follow up accusing Etheridge of emotionally and physically withdrawing from the relationship while she took care of the children and held down the fort:

no more censorship for me?
well, no censorship?
really, honey?
awesome.

things can be a long time coming
to one
and smash the hell out of
another:
hit and run
not even staying to clean up the mess

secrets, with-holding,
whispering to all but
the one whom holds the vows
and the toddlers

disappearances into the
hourglass-shaped wood with strings
never to finish a fight
never interested in clarifying,
making sense, making it right
even finishing the fight
more interested in making something rhyme
time after time after time
and later angsting that you and me, WE
it didn’t work out
you evolved
you needed to be happy-
but really… you withdrew your hands
from family and intimacy
to pluck those strings more

i’d rather hear 10,000 fans
screaming my name in worship
than hear my wife harp on me
about my family intimacy issues too,
you know?
which one is going to get me harder?
easy answer

sideswiped and left mangled
up to my eyes in toilet training toddlers
and sounds of a guitar wailing
letting me know
you would probably leave me soon
i know those heart-ache wails by now

i even told you it was a break up album
and you laughed at me
you laughed and laughed
i heard fearless and i got sick
“that’s your break up song with me”
i said to you
you got so angry with me, remember?
and stomped off

so thank you for telling an interviewer
that you WON’T censor me on my blog
(i thought i was to say nothing, my bad)
i was so unhappy thinking people dare look at me
and think that i consider
a marriage and forever to be
nine years or six years or whatever
and i gave up on everything
and just walked off
never is that me… nope, never

cuz i did not go anywhere, honey.
and you and i both know it
please stop telling the press it was mutual-

my birthday rolled around,
the holidays….
and me and the twins sat right there waiting…
we didn’t go anywhere. we just
sat and waited and waited and waited and waited…..

“i saw you with your new friends….
you wear them so well….”

i think you’re saying it’s okay
to be more open now on this blog?
whew.
good. cuz sitting on the fence of
“speak true”
and
“say nothing”

f@%#*ing rides a pole so far up my ass it nearly pierces my brain, and i can’t take it anymore, now that i am back home where people don’t live in the smoke and mirrors.

oh, and don’t let me forget this.

i still love that damn woman so much, i’m still trying to stop. i had a dream last where honey and i were fighting and going to get a divorce, and i woke up sobbing…. then i realized. oh. it’s true. and then what do you do? when the horrible feeling in the dream gets to stay even after you wake up?

there. there is my truth as of today.

home again.
home again.
feeling true.
feeling honest.

[From Tammy Michaels' blog via Huffington Post]

I’ve read this many places and it seems to be coming up often now that there’s this whole issue over Facebook privacy: when you’re going through a split do not air your dirty laundry online! You should even be careful about who you tell your business to, as even your closest friends may have allegiances to your ex. As mad as you are over how your ex is portraying you or your split, it’s better to suck it up and take the high road. You can talk to a few carefully chosen friends and should be careful not to let the world know your business.

The way Michaels words this, it sounds like Etheridge pulled away and was absorbed in her work instead of working out differences as they came up. This happens in many relationships, and it’s not helpful to blame the other person or to act like the victim. At least in public. You can bitch the person out all you want to your best friend.

Melissa Etheridge and Tammy Lynn Michaels are shown on 4/18/07. Etheridge is shown performing on Good Morning America on 4/30/10. Credit: WENN.com

Kaiser and I were just gossiping yesterday about how we hoped someone would break up so we’d have something to write about. Then Mel and sugar tits called it quits and Larry King and his umpteenth wife filed for divorce and we thought our mean prayers were answered with couples that we didn’t care about anyway. Unfortunately one couple we never expected to split also announced their demise – Melissa Etheridge and Tammy Lynn Michaels. Etheridge, 48, and Micheals, 35, have who have two biological children together, twins Miller Steven, a son, and Johnny Rose, a daughter, both 3 and a half, and and are raising Etheridge’s older two children, Bailey, 13, and Beckett, 11, from her relationship with ex partner Julie Cypher. Etheridge and Michaels were never legally married as they missed the window of opportunity before Prop 8 was passed, although they had a commitment ceremony in 2003 that was just like a traditional wedding.

Melissa and Tammy Etheridge have ended their nearly nine-year relationship.

“Melissa and Tammy Etheridge are saddened to announce that they are now separated,” Melissa’s rep tells PEOPLE exclusively.

The former couple add in a statement: “We ask for consideration and respect for our family as we go through this difficult period.”

Melissa, 48, and Tammy (formerly Tammy Lynn Michaels) exchanged vows in Malibu in September 2003.

Tammy, 35, gave birth to their children – son Miller and daughter Johnnie Rose – in 2006, after Etheridge was diagnosed with breast cancer in 2004.

Etheridge is also mom two children, Bailey, 13, and Beckett, 11, with former partner Julie Cypher.

[From People]

This just makes me sad. I remember seeing a video, below, in which Melissa and Tammy discussed their relationship and wedding. They seemed so in sync and in love, but like so many other couples it sounds like life got in the way. I’m thinking we’re about to hear more about this and that another person may be involved, but that’s just the cynic in me.

Melissa Etheridge and her partner, Tammy Lynn Michaels, had an elaborate commitment ceremony that was similar to a typical wedding and reception in 2003. At that time, they were not allowed to legally marry under California law. When gay marriage became legal in California on June 16, 2008, thousands of same sex couples took advantage of the opportunity for equal marriage rights. Etheridge said in early October that she would legally marry Michaels soon, but that they had four children and just needed to find the time. Now that Proposition 8 has passed, which strips same sex couples of the right to marry under California law, the time has run out for Etheridge and Michaels and so many other gay couples in the state.

Etheridge penned an essay for The Daily Beast in which asks why she should have to pay state taxes if the state refuses to recognize her and her partner as full citizens. People Magazine reports this as if she’s outright refusing to pay state taxes, but it sounds more like she’s hypothetically saying she shouldn’t have to pay taxes because she can’t get legally married:

Okay. So Prop 8 passed. Alright, I get it. 51% of you think that I am a second class citizen. Alright then. So my wife, uh I mean, roommate? Girlfriend? Special lady friend? You are gonna have to help me here because I am not sure what to call her now. Anyways, she and I are not allowed the same right under the state constitution as any other citizen. Okay, so I am taking that to mean I do not have to pay my state taxes because I am not a full citizen. I mean that would just be wrong, to make someone pay taxes and not give them the same rights, sounds sort of like that taxation without representation thing from the history books.

Okay, cool I don’t mean to get too personal here but there is a lot I can do with the extra half a million dollars that I will be keeping instead of handing it over to the state of California. Oh, and I am sure Ellen will be a little excited to keep her bazillion bucks that she pays in taxes too. Wow, come to think of it, there are quite a few of us fortunate gay folks that will be having some extra cash this year. What recession? We’re gay! I am sure there will be a little box on the tax forms now single, married, divorced, gay, check here if you are gay, yeah, that’s not so bad. Of course all of the waiters and hairdressers and UPS workers and gym teachers and such, they won’t have to pay their taxes either.

[From The Daily Beast]

Etheridge goes on to say that there is no “us” and “them” and that we’re united as one people and Obama’s future presidency gives her hope that this divisiveness will end. She also says she’ll stay in California and not go to another state or country where same sex marriage is legal, because it’s important that they continue to fight for the basic right to have their union legally recognized

As someone who used to live in Connecticut, I am so proud that my state passed a gay marriage bill. On November 12, it will become the second state to perform same sex marriages after Massachusetts. It’s very disheartening and sad for so many couples in California that they had this right taken away from them after a long and difficult battle. Slowly but surely, gay rights are gaining ground in America and maybe the court challenges to Proposition 8 will be successful. It takes time and there are setbacks, but as we have seen there are also great triumphs.

Melissa Etheridge and Tammy Lynn Michaels are shown at a screening of Sycko on 6/26/07 and at the ASCAP Pop Music Awards on 4/18/07. Credit: WENN

Singer Melissa Etheridge, 47, and her partner, Tammy Lynn Michaels, 33, held a large commitment ceremony attended by 175 guests in September, 2003, but were not permitted to marry legally under California law at that time. Their first ceremony was a traditional wedding complete with a proposal from Melissa, a custom-designed three carat diamond ring for Tammy, and a ceremony and reception on a location overlooking the Pacific. They wore Badgley Mischa outfits, with Tammy in a gown and Melissa in a cream linen and silk pantsuit. The reception tent was decorated with 2,000 candles, periwinkle hydrangeas and lavender roses. Guests include Tom Hanks, Ellen DeGeneres, and Al Gore. They described it as their dream wedding, and it’s clear they put a lot of thought and planning into it to make it an event they’ll always remember.

Now that Melissa and Tammy are able to marry legally under California law, they say they’ll do it when they find time. After watching footage of their wedding, below, you can tell why they’re not in a hurry to make it technically “legal” – they already had a lavish wedding that meant a lot to each of them.

Melissa and Tammy are raising four children together, Bailey, 11, and Beckett, 9, from Melissa’s relationship with Julie Cypher, and boy and girl twins Miller Steven and Johnnie Rose, who turn two in a couple of weeks. They have their hands full.

Singer Melissa Etheridge is ready to wed longtime partner Tammy Lynn Michaels!

“Yes, we have four children and we’re trying to find the right time,” she told Extra.

Etheridge, 47, and Michaels, 33, first exchanged vows in Malibu in 2003.

Now that gay marriage is legalized in California, the couple will make it official.

“We are so grateful for the blessings from our friends and family as we commence our vows, and begin the rest of our lives together,” the pair, who exchanged platinum-and-diamond wedding bands, said in a statement at the time.

[From US Weekly]

Congratulations to Etheridge and Michaels on finally being able to make it official. It’s about time.

Here’s a video that features Etheridge and Michaels’ wedding. They talk about the first time they met, Melissa’s proposal, and their relationship. It’s really touching and you can tell how much they love each other.

Melissa Etheridge and Tammy Lynn Michaels are shown on 4/18/07 at the 24th Annual ASCAP Pop Music Awards. Credit: Juan Rico/Fame Pictures

Melissa Etheridge’s wife, Tammy Lynn Michaels, got annoyed at people commenting on TMZ about her family. She blogged about how she was followed by paparazzi on a day out to the twins’ pediatrician and how it wasn’t fair that people were judging her based on pictures taken against her will.

At first I thought she was pissed that people were criticizing her choice of a stroller for her four and a half month-old twins, a boy and girl. One commentor on TMZ wondered why she didn’t get a Bugaboo (which I find ridiculous because I would never pay that much for a baby stroller, but I’m not rich) but the main criticism was that she was using a stroller that didn’t provide the neck support the baby needed, and indeed you can see the infant slumped down in the umbrella stroller.

The main thing that must have bothered her though were all the homophobic ignorant comments. As a blogger I’ve learned that there are racists, trolls, and pre-teens that are going to flame and talk smack, so I honestly thought at first that she was upset at the stroller comments, because why would that other shit bother her? She’s majorly upset about something though, and it’s probably that.

She blogged that she can’t stand the paparazzi, that people must hate themselves if they criticize her, and that she would create a magazine all about the paparazzi and “turn the tables.” K-Fed said this same shit a few months before his marriage flamed out:

so you take your kid out for their 4 month check up (with two moms that have barely recovered from the flu), and then you realize… you’ve been stalked by a photographer the entire time.

so montana is out. no more shopping on montana. heads up: montana is being staked out like robertson and rodeo and beverly hills. buh-bye montana stores.

all we wanted was some pizza to take home. so while we waited, we grabbed our brand new cheapie stroller out of the back, cuz quite frankly…. the babies are big, and Miller is so heavy that we can’t hold him long without our arms falling off. so as we waited, we stuck him in a stroller where he promptly fell asleep. and the photographer grabbed some of those shots… and now suddenly what was just a marital discussion (“Should we put them in it? It’s too big, but it’s just for a second while our sick and recovering butts wait for food… Okay, maybe, what do you think? Hmmm….” you know- those marital discussions…..). it turns into a snapped image with no explanation; and then the strangers who have time to look online at others’ lives… they leave comments…. or, rather, insults, crowing with smug self-satisfaction and ignorance. their fantasies have quickly grown into facts in their own minds.

and now, across this wwweb, are smeared photos of my angels, complete with judgemental, shitty comments from complete strangers who can be so miserable with themselves, that they push their self-hatred on others.

i’m never going out with my children again without keeping one eye open for the razzi dementors who suck your soul with their photos.

one day… someone is going to start a tabloid about the razzi. and then we’ll turn the tables: we’ll report what razzi is cheating with whom… we’ll stalk them, scare them, chase them…. and one day… somehow… this grossly inappropriate way of life (like orwells’ 1984, but we are doing it to ourselves) will fade. and people will stop thinking that just cuz we are famous, we have answers. the only answers “we” have that “others” don’t is “how do you get famous?” knowing that answer doesn’t make me a better person.

So she’s pissed that people are talking about her and that the photographers are “stalking” her children. This doesn’t seem to happen to her much, and she does have two twin babies with a famous partner that people want to see.

Perez read the same post on Oh No They Didn’t where I found the news, and said that she should “move back to Kansas” or whatever.

It seems like the real issue is that she’s pissed that people are judging her and talking smack about her use of a sperm donor to have children with a female partner. Doesn’t she realize there are people with this opinion who are going to inevitably make dumb comments? She’s in a relationship with a more famous woman, hasn’t she learned to ignore those comments by now?

She also seems to have made a bad choice for a stroller instead of getting one with the neck support her babies need. I know I got a stroller for my son like that as a gift when he was born and the instructions said not to use it until he was a year old, so I waited. He probably wasn’t a full year old before we used it, but he could hold himself up better than her baby.

Pictures thanks to FlynetOnline.